Akatsuki Daycare Squad: Living Conditions Pt 2

A/N: Hello guys, Izumi-san here. It's been 3 years since I've last revisited this story. The old readers are probably gone. Life's been pretty busy lately. I'm currently adjusting towards this newfound free time to update my existing fics. Sorry it took so long! Thank you everyone for giving this wacky premise a chance. ^_^ I'll do my best to give this the continuation it deserves.

Naruto towed the raven-haired toddler in one hand when they paused at the convenience store, brightly lit amidst the flickering lampposts headed for the outskirts of the village. As if by cue, his stomach audibly rumbled. Itachi stared in awe as his tummy did the same. The blond sheepishly grinned at Neji with a snoozing, drooling Sasori in his arms, who seemed to attempt to stifle it but his digestive system protested anyway. Semi-embarrassed, the Hyuuga took the Uzumaki's offer to enter the store.

"Welcome to 7Heaven your favorite midnight stop," uttered the store clerk with a friendly smile. Being on the night shift, he has seen a lot of weird people come in and out of the establishment. However, he still found them odd despite everyone wearing casual clothes. He reverted to solving his sudoku puzzle but kept an eye on them as they cruised through the aisles.

Neji was aware of the store clerk watching them but was distracted by his toddler waking up. It scratched its eyes and smiled "Papa." Neji was unsure how to feel. Sasori immediately thought he was his dad! How do fathers act? I lost my dad at a very young age. The only father he observed was his uncle Hiashi, but seeing how he unequally treated his daughters for most of their lives made him conclude that he's not the best to emulate. For now, I guess it's to check if he's hungry. Neji tried to wipe the crusted saliva besides the boy's mouth "Sasori-chan. Would you like to eat anything?"

Meanwhile, the kitsune was way too hungry to notice the clerk. He dragged Itachi to the ramen aisle and immediately grabbed two of his favorite flavors. "Mm 'tachi you should try this! This is the best, dattebayo!" He handed the cup to the child but realized that the ramen was adult-sized. "Sumanai 'tachi I'll just get you something smaller—" when he was interrupted "It's ok. I'll finish it." This surprised Naruto "Hey you talk straight! How old are you 'ttebayo?" The Uchiha held up four fingers. He gestured Naruto to hold his ramen for a while as he sprinted, used a pallet as a launching pad and climbed his way to the tallest shelf and snag a melon bread.

Naruto was staring at him open-mouthed, when a melon bread package landed on his face and the boy used his body as a vine to slither back to ground. Sasori saw this and squealed in excitement. "UWaaahhh gboffldjushm…" Unlike Itachi, the younger one could only delight in babbles.

The kitsune recovered "Did you see that?!" The white-eyed man nodded "Yes, Itachi-san was a genius even by their clan's standards. It makes sense that his toddler self can be this advanced." He sensed Naruto gazing afar for a moment as he asked "Neji, is it hard being a genius?"

The other didn't expect to be asked that kind of question "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure. Don't you think Tsunade baa-chan got our assignments mixed up? You're the genius. Or Shikamaru. You're the ones who can understand 'tachi more, 'ttebayo."

Neji merely shook his head "I trust that Hokage-sama thought things through before handing us our missions. As for me when I was a kid," Before my dad sacrificed himself for the good of our clan "All I wanted was to make my dad proud. I didn't care what being a 'genius' meant. What mattered was that it made him smile."

Naruto appeared comforted by these words. "Why are you guys buying so much food?" His gaze landed on the basket on Neji's arms filled with food and little Sasori aboard it, bending outward to reach some gecko-shaped sour candy. "I'm not sure if there is food in the apartment. Does…Sakura cook?" The mention of his teammate and childhood crush caused Naruto to pout. Why would Tsunade baa-chan pair Sakura-chan with him anyway?

Neji can deny it all he wants but he was definitely a helicopter cousin. He'd make sure to get this kind of tea or shampoo that would best suit Hinata-sama. He would've told him to back off but since he was making the decisions easier for him, he allowed it. The sooner we eat, the better.

At the counter, they were greeted by the store clerk who seemed less weary of them. He made small talk while scanning their purchase "So, you guys new in Konoha?" Neji nodded. "And these are your sons..?" The clerk proceeded to look at the children, a pink-haired boy drooling as he watched the flickering price monitor and a black-haired one unwilling to let go of his melon bread. The two look nothing alike of their fathers, so he concluded "I guess you're like…co-parents or something."

"What does that mean, 'ttebayo?" Naruto was clueless, but Neji was sensible enough to answer, though awkwardly "They have mothers." Nonetheless, the clerk let it go "If you guys are headed to the Tamaya District, you should get there before 10 PM. The neighborhood watch is strict."

"Neighborhood watch huh?" Neji mused.

Indeed, the neighborhood watch caught up, but were misled by Naruto's shadow clones draped in the cover of night. Neji's byakugan was handy in sensing and avoiding the would-be pursuers. At the lobby entrance, the guard did not even notice their disguise as neighborhood watch members. It was easy gaining access to the elevator Once inside, their disguises were eliminated in a puff of smoke. Itachi parted Naruto's extra fluffed up hair whereas Sasori popped out of Neji's satchel.

The blond finally breathed a sigh of relief when they reached their respective doors. They are the only pair who lived beside each other. The other four were scattered through the complex in order to not make it too suspicious to the residents. He was about to knock when Neji's hand fell on his shoulder "I trust that you will not use our current living conditions to take advantage of Hinata-sama's…vulnerability."

"Vulne-what? Vulva—" The Uzumaki was both sleepy and far too clueless to register if he was being threatened. Neji flushed at the obscenity and activated his Byakugan "You will keep Hinata-sama's honor intact or…I will personally remove all feeling from your waist down." The bulging veins around their eyes were already scary in broad daylight, moreso at the dead of night. Naruto stammered "Y-y-yeah of course Neji, of course."

Hinata opened the door, unaware of her nii-san looking after her. Ever since she unpacked she had mostly practiced masking her beet-red countenance at the prospect of living with Naruto-kun. Still, she stuttered "O-oyasumi Na-Naruto-kun!"

"Yo Hinata," The two entered and dropped plastic bags at the dining table "Sorry we're late. 'tachi and I stopped by to eat some ramen." He fished out something and handed it to Hinata. "Honeydew yoghurt pudding," she softly read. "Neji says you like the strawberry one more but it's out of stock so I got you that instead. Hope you like it, 'ttebayo." It was only tonight that Hinata knew how good it felt to not only be acknowledged but to be given something by Naruto-kun. He would have noticed how happy she was over this fact, if he was not butting heads with their toddler over rationing the melon bread packets the Uchiha insisted on bulk-buying.

The adjacent residence wasn't as noisy. Sakura had just finished hanging up the curtains when the two arrived. They exchanged polite greetings.

"Good evening, Neji-san."

"You too Sakura-san."

As the Hyuuga sat to remove his sandals, Sasori leapt from his satchel and stood. This was the first time his feet touched the ground since he was taken from the padded room. He wobbled in and out of balance towards the pink-haired kunoichi. The boy plopped on his bum.

"Mama?" Sakura did not know how to respond. While she did briefly imagine herself a mother and a housewife in her girlish fantasies, she did not know it would be under these circumstances, and certainly not Neji-san. Still, this was a mission, no matter how ridiculous the circumstances were. And she was facing a toddler, no matter if Akatsuki. "Sasori-chan sure looks tired. Let's get you to bed!" She picked him up and carried him to his room.

Surely Neji-san must have noticed it by now, the absence of a couch. Given that he packed just as spartan as she did, they would definitely share the bed. After all, the apartment is not that large but spacious enough to be comfortable throughout the duration of this mission. The living room, dining room, and kitchen occupy the vertical half of the house under an open-floor plan. The door beyond the kitchen is a balcony with a washing machine and a clothesline. The sliding door nearest to the entrance is a walk-in supplies closet.

On the other half of the house were two bedrooms: the larger master bedroom and the smaller one for the toddler, separated by a single shared bathroom with a shower and a bathtub, which the Hyuuga is now using to clean up. The kunoichi was close to biting her nails but decided to sit more upright on the bed, focusing on studying the mission file. However, her attention remains distracted by the sounds of the shower. Try as she might, unsavory thoughts invaded her imagination.

As a medic-nin, she was no stranger to healing injured half-naked men. There was no malice. She approached everyone professionally and assessed them with a clinical eye. Which made this so much worse! Because she already saw Neji's half-naked body and it had always been a specimen.

Ever since his near-death fight with Kidomaru, Hiashi-dono became overprotective of his nephew and insisted on getting every sprain or pulled muscle healed right away by Tsunade. Because her sensei was busy but, at the same time, couldn't say no to such a prominent clan head, she entrusted the boy to her. At first, Neji was uncomfortable and merely acquiescing to Hiashi's demands so he'd be left alone. He grew more accustomed to it as the years passed and they developed a routine wherein he would sit on the examination bed, tell Sakura exactly what injury he sustained from a mission and where in his body, then she would ask him to remove his upper clothing so she could start healing him. They would freeze in that position, through minutes of silence, and she would focus on the site of injury, adamantly avoiding any eye contact.

...

It was so much easier to ignore when they were kids. But a few months ago, his puberty hit her like a damn truck. He had just returned from a mission as a newly-minted jounin. Sakura assessed his injuries. It was just the usual: headaches from overusing his Byakugan and an inflamed rotator cuff. She would inspect his back to be sure. "Okay Neji-san. Please take off your garments." He unbuttoned his new loose white robe and it drew open like a pair of flimsy satin curtains, sliding all the way down to expose his entire upper body.

Good Lord.

Maybe taijutsu specialists were just built differently. Lee-san was as defined and muscular, if not more. However, Lee-san prioritized certain muscles and gathered too much bulk in certain limbs. Neji-san was...ridiculously proportioned. He was muscular yet even and lithe like a jaguar. Taller with broader shoulders, longer and sturdier limbs. Sinewy and sculpted by the deities of art tucked beneath pale creamy skin with fading bruises. His face was more masculine now with jaws so square and cheekbones so sharp that she could probably cut herself if she dared touch them. And what made all these changes a thousand times gorgeous was the blanket of chestnut hair that grew thick, lush and straight. It framed his face to smooth the manly edges, intensifying his already prominent stare, while the length of it splayed onto the rest of his form as chocolate waterfalls that run through the valleys of his-

"Sakura-san?" He called her attention, even his voice rang deeper and richer than it used to. Shoot how long have I been gone? She immediately proceeded to heal. Sakura gulped and prevented her flush. How could I be so unprofessional?! Instead, she hyperfocused on her chakra control to speed up the healing while they sat there in silence.

The treatment was completed and the clothes were back on again. Finally. Neji was about to get up when she noticed him wincing. "Is there anything else?" she asked. The boy hesitated "It's okay. It'll heal on its own." But her medical training got the best of her and made him sit down again. "Show me," she said. How could I not notice this?! He adjusted and pulled the garter off to reveal the cut between his pelvis and inguinal region. It was shallow yet in need of stitches.

"It was an unexpected kunai trap by the Kumo-nin." He explained and she nodded while she sterilized the wound. "This one is more serious, Neji-san. Any deeper and an artery would've been nicked. Please don't hesitate in reporting all injuries next time." Wow you sound so unbothered I could almost believe you, her inner self teased. Let that distract you from the fact that you're prodding Neji-san's V-line. She quietly gathered a deep inhale to stave it off while Neji muttered "I see. Thank you, Sakura-san."

…...

"Sakura-san." The same voice jolted her back to reality. She almost snapped the mission folder shut. Thankfully, this Neji was fully clothed thought with damp hair. "Y-yes?" Tentatively, he spoke "Would you mind if I occupy this half of the bed?"

"I-I don't mind at all." Sakura nodded as she scooted over to the other side. They were perched on the different edges of the bed. Quietness. The lights were off, but neither of them were had laid down. She chewed her lip, trying to think of something to make this less awkward. "There's not much to read in the file," she blurted out. Wow, just wow, captain obvious. To her surprise Neji agreed "Yes. It just says that we have to maintain our cover as a married couple."

Yes. Exactly. Why my mind has been folded like an omelette since I got here. She gingerly took out the item that she dreaded from the bedside table. It was a box with a pair of rings. Neji turned on his bedside lamp and inspected the jewellry "Any thoughts on our cover story?" He said in a tone so manner-of-fact that Sakura envied his professionalism. No matter how unconventional this was still an official mission and she should act her accordingly. Perhaps, this was the reason why he made jounin faster than any of them. He has good reign on his emotions and knew his priorities.

"According to the file, Tamaya residents are mostly outsiders. They immigrated to Konoha from various nations because they needed either work or refuge from conflict. However, upon briefly observing with Naruto, they appear to be a closer community who at least knew their residents. They have a neighborhood watch that patrols around the apartment grounds and maintains curfew by 10 PM. We managed to sneak past it." Sakura could only sit in awe at while he continued to relay his astute deductions.

"I'm not sure if the guard at the lobby was a new hire, an accomplice ninja or just apathetic to his job. We walked past him and he didn't question us. Perhaps I'll figure out tomorrow." To this, Sakura interrupted him "I'll do it instead. It'll be too suspicious if you approach him again." Neji considered this and nodded "He's a heavy-set man with an L-shaped scar on his cheek. Best guess is he's the guard before the replacement for graveyard shift." With a slight pause, Neji was able to easily change conversation "About our cover...would you mind if I use Haruno as a last name?"

"...Eh?" a pathetic mild stutter was all she could conjure.

"Neji Haruno. Hyuuga is a prominent clan of Konoha. Using it would be too easily recognizable. Even if the residents here are outsiders, they could still have friends from the village." He explained as he wore the ring, testing if it fitted. They were already facing each other when he held the smaller ring and took her hand "And you are Sakura Haruno, my wife." The ring fitted snugly.

Even her inner Sakura had nothing to say. She was not even an omelette but a scrambled mental egg. It took nearly all the force in her head to not make her cheeks burn red. She would not make this awkard. She would not make a big deal out of this. Not giggle like a school girl or explode in shyness like Hinata. She'd be just as professional! "Married for three years. Before we had Sasori. We...we came from the Land of Tea. You were a...tea instructor of some sort and I'm a...an herbalist. We came here to look for work after the tea farms were ravaged by nearby fires from the Land of a...well, one of the great nations."

She made the mistake of looking up and witnessing the amused look on his face. "That's not a bad cover story. It's quite believable and easier to elaborate. We can flesh out the details tomorrow."

Did Neji-san just compliment me? That's it, her cheeks are probably scarlet. Moreso when she realized that her hand was still resting on top of his. As if scalded by boiling water, she withdrew. "Uhm, we should sleep now." The other agreed. They finally laid down but faced the opposite sides. The space between them so wide and calculated that it could fit an unconscious, splayed Kiba.

The sleeping conditions of the other pairs were not as fraught with tension. Naruto, in fear of Neji's wrath and the Byakugan that might be spying on them next door, decided that Itachi and Hinata should share the queen-sized bed while he contorted himself to fit the smaller toddler bed. He was used to it since his bed at home was exactly the same.

Sai and Shino had no qualms. It felt like huddling next to comrades on side-by-side sleeping bags when they were out on a mission. Besides, they were too exhausted from pacifying little Deidara. The same went for Lee and Shikamaru, who were neither fussy sleepers except that, the Nara smelled too strongly of cigarettes while Lee had to bury his face into the pillow so he'd avoid polluting his lungs with unhealthy secondhand smoke.

To Tenten's horror, Chouji was expanding and deflating like a balloon as he snored. Despite already turned to her side, she was constantly shoved by the ever-changing form. Having had enough, she got up and summoned through her scroll a cork-shaped object and fixed it onto the Akimichi's gaping, drooling mouth. The expansions subsided just as the noise was muffled. Though still unable to lie down fully supine, she finally had enough space and silence to rest. A woman like her wouldn't complain.

The story is different with Ino. Kiba hogged the bed. Was intensely clingy, having nearly wrapped himself around her thrice while murmuring "Mmhm H'nata don't." Then yelped next to her ear. The Inuzuka didn't even bother to change his clothes and he smelled like dog sweat. "Ugh that's it!" She used her momentum roll over and throw Kiba to the floor. This briefly woke him up "Huh? Mhmm." Just as he was half-asleep climbing back up, Ino's foot was at his forehead, her voice playful yet with concealed annoyance "Kibaaa-kuun, next time you sleep beside me pleeease use the soap I gave you. For noooww, you're floormates with Akamaru!" She nudged him with her foot. He collapsed and crawled over to the large dog, burrowing his face on its lavish coat. He was grumbling, but she could understand the part where he called her "...stuck-up Yamanaka."

Outside the complex, a half-black and half-white green-haired man ensheathed on a flytrap casing receded into the ground before a Nightwatch patroller could shine a flashlight on his direction.