A/N: ! VERY IMPORTANT ! I have extended this chapter, so if you read it when it was originally posted, it has nearly doubled in length. I'm sorry for the confusion, but the short chapter length wasn't working with the rest of the story. I hope you enjoy the additions!
Coming to Terms
Harry listened to the shouting downstairs with half an ear, the majority of his attention focused on Heero. His brother lay utterly still in the middle of the bed while Harry sat next to him, leaning against the headboard. Reaching out, he softly stroked the back of his knuckles down Heero's pale cheek, obsessively watching the slow rise and fall of Heero's chest. Harry couldn't get the image of his big brother bleeding to death out of his mind, and a hard rock of cold fear sat heavily in his stomach.
He was close to all his brothers. The loss of any one of them would have been catastrophic. But Heero was special to Harry. Heero had been the one to find him. He was the one who had chosen to keep Harry and brought him to the others. Heero was the one unshakable thing in Harry's life. He never wavered. He'd made Harry his family, given Harry his name. It bound them together, closer than brothers, closer than father and son. It was unconditional and unbreakable.
Except by death, Harry had come to realize.
His brothers seemed invincible, immortal, especially Heero, and last night had opened his eyes. It had really hit home that his brothers were human, which meant they were vulnerable. Missions, accidents, assassination attempts; despite these, none of his brothers had ever been seriously hurt. The worst they'd been injured was during his kidnapping five years ago, when Heero had been drugged and tortured because of Vernon's involvement with terrorists. The fact they'd always come through every crisis, the fact they'd always recovered, had reinforced the idea that nothing could ever really hurt them.
Heero lying limp. Blood pooling everywhere, soaking Heero's shirt and pants. Big cuts along shoulder and side. Arm half-severed. Heero's pale face as he lay dying.
Warm tears dripped onto Heero's cheek, and Harry lifted his hand to touch his face, surprised. He hadn't even realized he'd begun crying.
Heero's lashes fluttered open. Dark blue eyes locked on Harry and his brows dipped into a frown. "Harry." He reached up with the arm that he'd almost lost last night. The movement was stiff, but Harry saw no evidence that it pained Heero. The strong arm hooked around Harry's torso and pulled him down, and Harry pressed his face into Heero's side, clinging to his shirt.
"I'm okay," Heero promised, his voice deep and husky from sleep.
Harry pulled away enough so that he could look into Heero's eyes. "I love you, Heero. Please don't die."
Heero's hand cupped the back of Harry's head, his fingers tangling into Harry's unbound hair. "I'm not going anywhere."
Harry nodded, not quite satisfied, but he knew that was the best he was going to get. Wiping away his tears, he laid his head back on Heero's chest. "How are you feeling?"
"Adequate. How are you?" Heero asked, gently rubbing Harry's back.
"Tired," Harry answered on a sigh. "But I'm okay." In fact, the tightness in his stomach had actually eased off a bit now that Heero had finally woken up.
The yelling peaked downstairs, punctuated by a thump. Someone, likely Duo, had probably punched a wall. Heero looked down at Harry expectantly. Harry dutifully informed him of what he knew.
"Apparently Lupin is a werewolf and changes every full moon. Last I heard he'd changed back into a human early this morning but was still unconscious due to the strain of the change and from being shot so many times. Sirius can't heal him completely like he did you because werewolves are resistant to magic. Fortunately, werewolves heal very rapidly, a perk of the disease, so Sirius is pretty sure he'll survive."
Heero tilted his head in the direction of the door. "The yelling?"
Harry's fingers toyed restlessly with the hem of Heero's shirt. A frown creased his features. "Sirius is threatening to leave us on our own and stop helping us if we hurt Lupin. Duo and Wufei want Lupin incarcerated for attempted murder. They insist he's a danger to himself and others and must be imprisoned. Quatre is on Sirius' side. He thinks Lupin would be helpful to our cause. He's a professional teacher, so he could help Quatre and me learn spells, and has already shown loyalty to me by contacting you against Dumbledore's wishes. Trowa hasn't stated his opinion yet."
"Help me sit up."
"You should rest," Harry argued, but he had already slipped his hands under Heero's shoulders. There was no use arguing when Heero gave a direct order.
Moving very slowly, Heero managed to scoot back and lean against the headboard. "What are your thoughts?"
Heero's quiet question ended on a dry cough, and Harry's eyes widened. "Sorry!" He scurried on hands and knees to the side of the bed and fetched a glass of cool water. He brought it back to Heero carefully and watched as his brother drank it all. "More?"
"No." Heero set the glass aside on the bed and caught Harry's eyes. "Your thoughts?"
Harry looked away. He stared at the door, listening to Duo's angry voice overlapping with Sirius'. He thought about Heero dying. He was furious that Lupin had almost killed someone so precious to him out of carelessness. But then he thought about his brothers not having any magic in a magical war. He thought about the enemy they were up against, who had murdered hundreds just to prevent Harry from leaving England. He thought about the excitement and pleasure Voldemort had felt at all the death and destruction, and he didn't want that joy to come from the deaths of his only family. More than anything he wanted Heero and the others to be safe.
"We need every wand we can get on our side," he finally said. "We can't afford to lose Sirius. He's a trustworthy ally, and Lupin could be useful."
Heero grasped his chin and turned Harry so they were facing each other. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Harry felt tears sting his eyes as he saw the pride and approval in Heero's gaze. Heero let him go and gave a wolfish smile. "I think we should put in our votes. Don't you?"
Harry grabbed Heero's arm as his brother swung his legs over the side of the bed. "You should stay in bed, Heero. You were hurt."
Heero, face perfectly composed if a little pale, lifted an eyebrow. "I know my limits."
Harry let him go with a sigh. Heero was clearly in mission mode. However, Harry did insist on standing close to Heero, an arm wrapped around his waist just in case Heero needed someone to subtly lean on. They took their time, walking slowly, taking each of the stairs carefully. As they drew closer to the kitchen, the yelling grew louder. They quickly began to make out the words.
"There's a potion called Wolfsbane. It'll give him back his mind during the change! He wouldn't be a threat to anyone!" Sirius yelled heatedly.
"Then why didn't he use it?" Duo hissed furiously.
"That makes him twice as responsible for last night," Wufei agreed, voice actually raised. "His carelessness with the lives of others is criminal!"
"With our supervision it will not be forgotten again," Quatre put forth, voice tight.
"He almost killed someone!" Duo yelled. "You gonna wait until a corpse lies at your feet before you take care of this?"
"You touch him and I'll show you just what magic can do," Sirius returned in a menacing growl.
Heero pushed open the door and Harry could see the kitchen had become a battle field with lines clearly drawn. Sirius and Quatre stood on one side of the kitchen table while Duo and Wufei stood across from them. Trowa stood against the wall between the two sides. His arms were crossed and his head was tilted down so that his bangs obscured his face. Duo and Wufei had to turn around to see Heero and Harry. Duo's shoulders loosened and the dark glint in his eyes shrank at the sight of his lover. Harry took this opportunity to speak.
"I think Lupin should stay. Sirius knows more about this world and his friend. If he says we can keep safe during the full moon, then I believe him. And Quatre's right that we need help during the war. We have to remember the bigger picture."
"I agree. Lupin stays," Heero voiced, never looking away from Duo.
"Harry…" Sirius' fierce look had melted into one of gratitude.
Harry wanted to tell him that he wasn't siding with Sirius because he liked him better. Keeping Lupin around was the better choice for the family, that was all. But Harry didn't know how to say all that without making everything worse.
Duo scowled at Sirius, fury rising in his expression. His fists clenched and his whole body went rigid as he turned his glare on his lover. "That monster almost killed you, Heero!"
"He was not in control of his actions," Heero countered. "Much like we were under the ZERO system. We will manage this disease and neutralize the threat. It will not happen again."
"Damn right it won't happen again," Duo whispered. He stalked forward and Harry quickly moved out of the way.
Harry watched him march out of the house and slam the front door with a worried expression. He hated that Duo was so upset, and he looked to Wufei to see if he was just as mad, but Wufei was staring at Heero.
"Are you well?"
"I am healing. Food would be appreciated," Heero answered. He moved forward with Harry's help and sat carefully in a chair.
"I'll make breakfast," Quatre offered. He was clearly exhausted. His face was pale and his hands hung limply at his side. Harry was about to offer his help when Trowa beat him to it.
Trowa came off the wall and strode to his husband's side. "Go rest. I'll do it."
Quatre smiled up at him. "Thank you." On his way out he ruffled Harry's hair and touched Heero gently on the shoulder.
As Trowa turned to the stove and cabinets, Sirius came forward, eyeing Wufei suspiciously before approaching Heero. "Thanks for the support. Remus would never want to hurt you."
Heero said nothing, and Sirius began to fidget.
"Can I run a diagnostic?"
Heero nodded his permission and Sirius lifted his wand. Harry watched with great interest as Sirius traced patterns in the air with the wand tip and said a few strange words. Sirius tilted his head, clearly confused. Harry felt worry cut him up inside as he watched the wizard run a hand through his hair in frustration.
"What is it?" he asked fearfully.
"He's almost fully healed. The muscles are still torn, but all the blood vessels, tendons, and ligaments are whole," Sirius answered, frowning. He crossed his arms over his chest. "He needs to be careful. The arm will be weak for a while, but he should be fine."
"That is a good thing," Wufei pointed out with a glare.
"Yes, but…" Sirius looked to Harry, and Harry could see he was hesitating to say things in front of him.
"Tell me," Heero ordered, voice firm. Harry flashed his brother a grateful look before returning his attention to the wizard.
Sirius met Heero's eyes. He seemed to deflate, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet. "I didn't really think I could save you, but you responded remarkably well to the healing spells and potions. I knew then you'd pull through, but even considering your quick response, you should still be sleeping. The damage, even with magic, should have taken at least three days to heal." His pale blue eyes glanced toward Wufei nervously. "And I should be seeing signs of lycanthropy in your system." When Wufei tensed, his hand dropping to his sword, Sirius quickly backed up and raised his hands in a sign for peace. "Not that Yuy would be a werewolf. He wasn't bitten! But such deep scratches should have passed on traces of the curse. Those traces should have manifested physically, like with sharper teeth, pointed ears, or hardened nails, but none of these have manifested in Yuy."
Harry looked at Heero carefully. Sirius was right. There didn't seem to be any physical difference. Heero's dark hair was as short and messy as always. His skin was lightly tanned, his ears perfectly round. His eyes were still slanted slightly from his Japanese heritage, the irises still a deep dark blue. He wore a tank top, which showed the healing scars on his shoulders. His arms were lean, his hands human. Harry reached forward and lifted Heero's lip. Even his teeth looked normal.
"It is possible that Heero's biology isn't compatible to the curse," Wufei mused.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, but he quickly fell silent under the intensity of Wufei's glare.
Harry knew Wufei was just protecting Heero's secret, but he wanted to make it clear that Sirius was a part of their team here until the war ended. A subtle nod from Heero gave him permission. "Heero's genetics were altered by scientists when he was a child. He's always been a little stronger than normal children, and he always healed fast, but the scientists increased these attributes. Heero's biology is now subtly different than an average human."
Sirius stared at Heero curiously, which was better than horror. Harry figured Sirius had no way of knowing just how horrible such things were since he'd been raised in the Wizarding world. He had no way to know what exactly such experiments likely entailed. Harry felt eyes on him and looked to find Wufei staring at him. There was no expression on his face, and Harry winced. He'd been going against Wufei for a few days now by insisting on being a part of the war, and then taking Sirius' side. Now he'd gone against his decision to keep Sirius ignorant of Heero's condition.
"Are you saying he's immune to the curse?" Sirius asked. His eyes were wide with surprise.
"Probably not a full bite, but any lesser infections my immune system can likely overcome," Heero answered calmly.
Trowa broke the rising tension between Harry and Wufei by putting breakfast on the table.
Harry gratefully turned away from his brother and focused on the food. Heero equally devoted his attention to the meal. Wufei chose not to join them and instead left the kitchen without a word. Harry cringed, his stomach rolling. A voice inside his head was chanting non-stop, "He's mad at me, I was bad, he won't love me anymore…" But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't go begging for forgiveness. He'd made decisions, and he now had to stand by them proudly. Just as Wufei had taught him.
Still, the food tasted like ash in his mouth, and Harry had to force himself to eat. He got through half of his portion before he finally gave up. Trowa was watching him and gave a small smile, his eyes warm as soon as Harry looked up.
"Go talk to him," Trowa encouraged. "But stay away from the sitting room on the left. That's where Lupin is resting."
Harry instantly felt his stomach drop in fear – fear of Lupin and fear of facing his brother – but he stood.
"Let the stubborn bastard stew," Sirius muttered.
Harry turned on the wizard furiously. "He's not a bastard! He's just worried!" He glared at the man for a long second before he spun and stalked from the room. Heero and Trowa could deal with Sirius. He had more important things to worry about.
His anger slipped away as soon as he stepped outside of the kitchen, and the fear returned. Harry had squabbled with his family before, but never over anything as important as this. He honestly had no idea what would happen now. Would Wufei give up on him? Would he say Harry was being stupid and leave? Harry really hoped not, but the memory of Heero lying dead in the hallway made him halfway hope Wufei would leave. At least then he would be safe.
Without really thinking about it, Harry headed to the library. He knew that was where Wufei would go. He stood outside the door, gut churning. It was the hardest thing he'd had to do in a long time, but he slowly lifted his hand. He wanted to run and hide, pretend the argument hadn't happened.
The image of Wufei's dark eyes filled with betrayal flashed across his mind, and he literally flinched. His arm dropped to his side and he struggled to catch his breath. He was rooted to the spot, unable to go forward and unable to go back. Wufei would want him to knock, but Harry was afraid.
Suddenly squaring his shoulders, Harry raised his hand and rapped on the door twice. He knew better than to let fear rule him. Once he let his fear takeover, there'd be no end in sight. He'd never break free from that dark cycle.
"Come in."
Harry swallowed thickly and pushed open the door. Wufei was standing in between two shelves of books. His back was turned to Harry, his hands clasped behind him. His stillness and tone suggested his brother was calm, but Harry knew Wufei better than that. The way his brother hadn't turned to face him, the way his feet were planted solidly as if he were braced for an attack, it meant Wufei was upset.
"What do you wish to say?" his brother asked softly, still without turning.
Harry swallowed thickly and pulled the door shut behind him. He crossed half the distance between them and bowed deeply from the waist to show his respect. His hair fell forward around his face, and when he straightened, it hung down his chest. Harry's heart hammered with nerve while his knees and hands literally shook.
"Brother, I…" His voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat. "I am young. I'm ignorant of this culture. I know very little about magic. Fighting a war for a people I don't know, when I have very little experience with the main weapon used, is stupid. I don't want to die or be hurt." Tears burned his eyes. "I don't want my brothers to die or be hurt."
Wufei turned to face him. His dark eyes regarded Harry solemnly. "I don't understand your actions if these are your honest thoughts."
Harry felt sweat roll down his neck and dampen his face. He knew he should look in Wufei's eyes, but he could only bear a quick glance. His gaze dropped to his brother's chest and stayed there. "I know other things, too. Like I'm connected to this war already. I'm magically bound to the terrorist Voldemort. I had a vision," he reminded his brother, and as he said it images flashes across his mind from that horrible day. Screams, blood, destruction, and a sense of sick pleasure… "I was there with the Dark Lord. I felt as he did. I felt his joy as he killed those people. It felt as if he and I were one. And we laughed as buildings fell and people screamed."
Harry clenched his fists and closed his eyes. "Then I was taken to Neville's bedside. He was a boy my age, and he'd been tortured by Voldemort almost to the point of death. He lay in bed, too weak to sit up. It was obvious that he was still in a lot of pain, and yet he promised to still fight. He promised me help if I ever needed it. Whether I know these people or not, whether I know magic, Voldemort is evil, and I will not stand by and let evil go without being challenged. To stand by and do nothing when wrong is being committed, is to become evil yourself. You taught me that."
Harry looked up beseechingly, tears finally falling down his cheeks. Wufei stared back, face expressionless. "I'm not planning on being reckless, but I have to do my part, no matter how small or how big. Not because the Wizards are my people. Not because I love magic. But because it is right."
"And Lupin?" Wufei asked, voice quiet.
"I thought…" Harry glanced down again and wiped his face roughly. "He's dangerous, I know. He almost… killed… Heero," the last was admitted in a whisper. "But we don't know about this culture or magic, and I don't want you, or Heero, or Duo, or Trowa and Quatre to die. We need help. We can't do this alone, and Sirius… He's helped us a lot. He's on our side, and he's important if we're going to help Commander Une protect normal people. We can't let him leave us. And Lupin… well… He helped us before, and Quatre and Heero both think he can help us some more." Harry forced his head up and met his brother's dark eyes. "I think he could help us, too."
Wufei dropped gracefully to one knee and held out his arms. Harry's heart literally skipped a beat. His eyes grew wide, and he ran forward. Relief so powerful overwhelmed him and he stumbled on his feet, his legs feeling like jelly. He clung to his teacher, his brother, as tightly as he could and cried on his shoulder. Wufei stroked his hair and held him just as tightly back.
"Hush, Harry. It's okay. You spoke well. I'm very proud of you for standing up for yourself." Wufei began to slowly rock from side to side, and Harry struggled calm his shredded nerves. "I still disagree, but I respect your thoughts."
Harry nodded. His tears had finally come to a stop, but his hands still trembled.
Wufei pushed him back a little bit so they could see each other. "You understand why I disagree?"
Harry shook his head.
"I don't agree that a child should fight in war," Wufei explained. "Letting evil pass is wrong, yes, but getting yourself killed is just as wrong. There will be moments in the future that will go unchallenged because you were not there to meet them if you should die. You should grow strong in these years and stand up to the little evils. That is your place right now."
"But you…" Harry protested.
"I fought at your age in a war. So did the others, but, Harry, you are not us," Wufei said, he grabbed Harry's shoulders and stared hard into Harry's eyes. "We did not have a childhood to ruin, except for maybe Quatre. If you sacrifice your childhood, that is also letting evil win. That is what evil does. It destroys things precious."
"But, Wufei, I can't help it," Harry protested. "I have this magical connection. I see visions. Even if I don't help the war, I'll still be pulled into it. I'll do my best to keep the good things in my life. I have you and everyone else, but… But I can't turn away and let you guys fight without me. I just can't! It doesn't feel right."
Wufei sighed and hung his head. He pulled Harry back in toward his body and hugged him. "I understand."
Harry hugged him back.
"I will always be with you," Wufei whispered. "Remember that when you walk toward danger."
Harry nodded, taking him very seriously. He was going to do everything he could to make sure all five of his brothers survived this war. He wasn't going to let any one of them die for him.
xXxXxXx
Remus opened his eyes feeling like his chest weighed a hundred pounds. His head pounded in time to every heartbeat and felt squeezed by a metal vice. Every joint hurt. His skin felt tight and hot, as if he had severe sunburn. Besides the heavy chest and how difficult it was to draw breath, he recognized the aftereffects of the full moon. But that couldn't be right. He was on a couch. The room he could see was clearly not one in the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. It was furnished, the red wallpaper was in good condition, and lamps were lit around the room. A hoarse grunt escaped his throat, but he couldn't move or sit up. The pain was still incredible.
"It's okay, Moony. You're safe."
Remus' eyes flew open, his nostrils flared, as he twisted on the couch to find the source of that voice. His head hadn't quite caught up with his heart, because adrenaline, hope, and excitement were already flooding his system before his brain consciously recognized that tenor. Agony speared through Remus' chest at the sharp movement, but he barely even noticed. Sirius was crouched on the floor, slightly above his head. Tears instantly flooded his eyes. Remus felt like curling up into a ball and crying forever. The last of his pack, the only one able to sooth the gaping hole in his soul, the one he could never see because Sirius had betrayed them all… He was sitting right next to him.
Sirius looked older than Remus remembered. His face was lined with creases and there were shadows around his eyes, but the light in those pale blue eyes was exactly the same. Remus whimpered. He felt so much: rage, and desperation, and hurt.
"Why? Why'd you do it?" he whispered, crying openly. "Why'd you do this to me? Do you know how much I need you? Do you know how maddening it's been knowing you're alive, but that I couldn't go to you? I want to rip out your throat! I want to roll over and beg for you to come back. But you killed them! James and Lily, our pack, you killed them! Why would you do that? Why, Sirius?"
Remus couldn't understand it. He could never understand how Sirius could let James and Lily be murdered. Pack came before any one individual inside it. It was sacred. To actively try to destroy the pack was inconceivable, and yet Sirius had murdered everyone within the small unit. It was worse than madness. And why hadn't he killed Remus, too? Living the last twelve years as a ghost, disconnected, mourning… It had been worse than hell.
Remus wanted to hate Sirius for that. He really did, but now that he was near his pack-mate he felt more alive than he had in over a decade. Like the thick curtain that hung between Remus and everyone else had now been pulled aside. He felt connected and whole, and he knew no matter how much he hated Sirius or for how long he'd dreamed of killing Sirius for what he'd done, Remus would never be able to hurt him. They were pack. A pack made up of two. To destroy Sirius would be to destroy the pack once more, and Remus was literally incapable of that.
"Listen to me, Moony." Sirius lifted his hand and placed it on Remus' head, stroking back his hair. Remus shuddered, hating how good it felt, how desperately he craved that touch. But he shut his eyes and listened as Sirius begged. "The war was getting worse. People were betraying the Order left and right because they feared Voldemort's retribution. Friends were dying. We couldn't trust anyone anymore. Remember? The werewolves officially sided with Voldemort, and you left because you were afraid you'd be pulled in and forced to turn against us. We were scared and stupid, so we let you go. Then Dumbledore came and said it was vital James and Lily stop fighting. That they had to go away into deep hiding. They'd just had Harry, so they agreed. I was going to be Secret Keeper."
Remus moaned, clawing the couch under him as he remembered getting the letter that informed him James and Lily had been killed, that their son was the Boy-Who-Lived, and the person responsible had been Sirius Black. That Sirius had also killed Peter and had been sentenced to Azkaban. Remus had nearly killed himself that night. He hadn't even known James and Lily had had a baby before that letter, and his entire world had come crashing down with grief so powerful that it had nearly driven Remus mad. In the end, he hadn't been able to kill himself. Because he and Sirius were the last of the pack, and pack came before all.
"Remus… Hush, just listen… Please, Remus..." Slowly Sirius' desperate voice filtered in past the memories and the harrowing grief. "We switched to Peter at the last minute. I was too obvious. Death Eaters would target me, and after torture, who knew what I'd be able to keep secret. So we switched, Remus! It wasn't me. I didn't betray them. It was Peter, and when I heard what happened. I went mad. I went after Peter. I found him, and I tried to kill him, but he cut off a finger and turned into Wormtail." Sirius punched the ground, his black, wavy hair falling into his face. "Peter must have summoned the Aurors before I found him. There were all these witnesses that said I blew him up. All that was left was his finger. I didn't even get a trial…"
Remus could hardly breathe. He wasn't sure if it was because of whatever was wrong with his chest or because of the painful hope nearly strangling him. "Where…?"
Sirius looked up into Remus' eyes. "I don't know, Moony, but I swear, when I find that evil rat, I'll make him pay for what he did to us."
Remus went limp. "I believe you," he whispered, exhausted. He closed his eyes and just basked in the feeling of Sirius next to him. Remus didn't even care if Sirius was lying or not. He wanted to believe Sirius' story. It meant there was one more pack member alive. It meant redemption.
When Remus woke next, he knew several hours had to have passed. His chest was still on fire, but he could breathe more easily now. Sirius was nowhere in sight, and for a horrible moment, Remus feared he'd dreamed it all. Then the sitting room door opened and Sirius walked in with a tray of food. The grin that brightened his friend's face was painfully familiar, and Remus felt tears sting his eyes once more.
"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty," Sirius called playfully. He was dressed in brown pants and a button-down. Both looked wrinkled, and Sirius looked a little worn around the edges. "You slept all of yesterday, and you need to get some food in you." Sirius put the tray on the coffee table and sat on the floor.
Remus carefully pulled himself into a seated position and looked down at his friend's head. He could still hardly believe Sirius was with him and apparently innocent of the horrific crimes he'd been accused of. "Where are we?"
"Grimmauld Place," Sirius answered with a careless shrug and passed over a buttered piece of bread.
Remus took the food automatically. He froze when he heard his friend's answer. Grimmauld Place. Memories cascaded through his mind. Being summoned to the Headmaster's office. Thinking to get his Wolfsbane after the meeting. Stopping outside the door because of raised voices. Fudge ranting about Sirius Black and Muggles. Everything went fuzzy after that. Remus remembered feeling like the world had fallen away, his grief taking over as strong as it had been twelve years ago when he'd first read that horrible message. He'd found himself at Grimmauld Place, right? And he'd run into Harry's family…
"Oh Merlin… I hadn't taken the potion… Harry…"
"Is fine," Sirius cut off firmly. He rose up on his knees and firmly held Remus' face in his hands. "You transformed, but Yuy and the others subdued you. You didn't kill or infect anyone."
Remus couldn't comprehend what he was being told. There were just too many shocks in a row, on little food after he'd been weakened by the transformation. "How is that possible? That's not possible… I killed them. I had to have killed them."
"They're tough little buggers," Sirius said wryly. His hands tightened almost painfully around Remus' face. "Listen to me. I would not lie to you. It was close. Yuy was hurt pretty badly, but I healed him and he's fine. No one else was hurt except you. They shot you full of bullets. That's why your chest hurts so much."
Remus forced himself to breathe deeply and shoved the panic down deep in his belly. He couldn't afford to be hysterical. He had to be in control and think rationally. "Okay. I'm all right."
Sirius frowned dubiously, but he released him. "Good." He sat back on the floor with a sigh. "Eat your breakfast, will ya?"
Remus obeyed. He ate the toast in his hand and moved on to the eggs, bacon, and home fries. Every couple of seconds, he'd look at Sirius to make sure his pack-mate was still there. When all the food was gone, he felt a little steadier. "Okay. Tell me what's going on."
Sirius sighed once more. Remus didn't remember him being so resigned or disheartened, but after twelve years of separation, Azkaban, and the war starting over, Remus could understand what would drive his friend to depression. He listened as Sirius described his escape from prison, his search for Harry, Harry's kidnapping, introducing himself to Harry's family and Harry's subsequent rescue, Sirius' meeting with the President of the World Federation, and his promise to assist both her and Commander Une of a Muggle military organization called the Preventers. It was a radical and fantastic tale. Remus could hardly get his mind around it all.
"So now I guess you're a part of the group," Sirius explained. He looked up with a tired grin. "Welcome to the circus."
"It's more like you owe us," a voice corrected. "And we plan to collect."
Remus turned and saw Duo Maxwell standing in the doorway. He had on jeans and a blue t-shirt. His hair was in its customary braid down his back, and his arms were crossed over his chest. His eyes were dark, his expression angry. Sirius got to his feet, his expression mirroring Maxwell's.
"Leave him alone. He just woke up," Sirius ordered, voice low.
"He looks fine to me," Maxwell countered. He looked right at Remus. "I don't care what your excuses are. I don't care what your story is. You almost killed Heero, and I'm not going to forget that anytime soon."
Remus felt sick with horror. It was his biggest fear; killing in his transformed state or worse infecting someone. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and hardly above a whisper. "Is he okay?"
"He's fine," Sirius snapped. "He doesn't even have traces of lycanthropy."
Maxwell glared at them for a long second before turning and walking away, his braid snapping from side to side. A blond whom Remus had never met stepped into the doorway. He was tall and lean, and he wore expensive clothes. His expression was perfectly neutral like any good politician.
"Good morning, Mr. Lupin. I'm Quatre Winner." Quatre entered the room just enough so that it wouldn't be awkward to speak. "There are a few issues I'd like to discuss with you."
"Can't this wait?" Sirius asked. He stood with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched defensively.
Remus thought it funny that Sirius acted like an errant student in front of a man at least ten years his younger. He distinctly remembered Sirius possessing the same body language when he'd been brought before McGonagall after a prank at Hogwarts. Then again Remus wasn't immune to the confident aura around the young man, either. This was somebody who was used to being obeyed.
"No. I'm sorry." Winner moved to a seat across from the couch and sat gracefully, crossing his legs and folding his hands on his knees. He stared at Sirius expectantly until Sirius finally sat, grumbling, next to Remus. Remus couldn't help leaning into his friend's side. He was still coming to terms with having his pack-mate with him. "How are you feeling? Do you need medical attention?"
Remus shook his head. It still hurt, but he knew it wasn't fatal and magical medicine wasn't very effective on him even when he wasn't in his transformed state. "How is Yuy?" he asked, guilt searing his insides.
"He is recovering," Winner answered politely. "However, we are concerned about future attacks."
Remus flushed with shame. "I can never express how sorry I am for what happened. I will do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't happen again."
"Remus was infected when he was a young child and he's never killed or infected anyone! The other night was a freak accident. It won't happen again," Sirius vowed, expression fierce and protective.
"I understand that we're all under extreme stress," Winner allowed. "We just want to help prevent anything of this nature from happening again. I'm sure Mr. Lupin would appreciate any help he can get."
"What do you have in mind?" Remus asked tiredly. He was willing to do anything to protect others from himself and he always had been.
"Wufei will be in charge of making sure you take your medication at the correct time before the full moon," Winner explained. He held Remus' eyes unblinking, his body language demanding compliance. "We will also want to place a tracker on you, so that we know where you are at all times. In case something were to occur that separated us, we'd need to be able to find you to make sure you are neutralized during the full moon."
"This is ridiculous!" Sirius hissed furiously. "He's not a criminal or a wild animal! He's a person with rights!"
Winner never even looked Sirius' way. His eyes remained locked on Remus. "We were attacked by you. You nearly killed one of our number. Technically we should turn you over to the authorities to be sure you can never hurt anyone else again. But we are not. We are giving you our silence and your freedom. These demands are relatively small in comparison to a life sentence in jail or a medical ward."
Remus put a hand on Sirius' leg, stilling him. "They're right, Siri. I should be in prison for what I did. I'll gladly accept their conditions."
Sirius stared at him, agony in his eyes. "You weren't thinking right. I know you'd never hurt anyone willingly."
"But I don't have control of myself," Remus countered. "This will make me feel better. I'll be able to know for sure I won't hurt anyone. Really, Sirius. I'm okay with this."
Sirius looked away. He was clearly unhappy, but he stopped protesting.
Remus turned back to Winner. "I accept."
Winner smiled for the first time since entering the room. It softened his face and made him seem like a friendly, approachable person. "Thank you, Mr. Lupin. I'm sure we will eventually forge a mutually beneficial relationship between us."
"Remus, please," Remus invited. It felt weird to be Mr. Lupin. He was only now getting used to people calling him Professor Lupin.
"Remus," Winner acquiesced. "If you will call me Quatre."
Remus smiled. "Quatre, then."
Quatre leaned back, becoming more comfortable in his chair. "I have a proposition for you, Remus."
Sirius looked over, curious, so clearly he had no idea what Quatre was referring to.
"You see, Harry and I have recently discovered we are wizards. I'm afraid we've missed out on learning the basics of magic, and it has come to my attention that you currently teach at the most renowned magical school in Western Europe. The school term is close to finishing, if I'm correct, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to move in to Grimmauld Place and help Sirius teach Harry and I this summer. This would also assist in our duty to monitor you every full moon, and I'm sure you would appreciate the chance to get reacquainted with Sirius. I understand you've been separated for quite some time."
Remus heart squeezed painfully in his chest. This was more than he'd ever expected. "I'd love that."
"Of course, I will compensate you for your time," Quatre reassured him with a wide smile. "However, I do ask that you please put some thought into an extensive syllabus. I warn you that we are prepared to dedicate eight hours a day to our studies. We would wish that Harry would be caught up with his peers by the time the next school year starts in September if it is at all possible."
"I understand." Remus sat straighter and nodded his head. "It won't be easy to make up the three years he's missed, but I'm sure we can do it if we really work hard."
"Thank you." Quatre inclined his head. "I'll participate in the lessons you feel are essential for me to know, yet I'll mostly want to focus on Sirius' combat lessons because of the war."
"That makes sense," Remus agreed.
"Good." Quatre rose to his feet and offered his hand. Remus shook it gently. Quatre's expression softened still further when their skin came in contact, and Remus felt strangely forgiven. "I'm glad to meet you, Remus. Please feel better, and let us know when you are ready to move in. We'll have a room ready for you."
"Thank you," Remus whispered. He released the young man's hand and watched him leave the room silently. "What…?"
"Don't ask," Sirius huffed. He leaned back against the couch and flung his arms over his head, letting them hang down the back. "They are the weirdest group I've ever met, and that's saying something."
Remus laughed. He couldn't help it. "I'm glad to see you, Siri. I've missed you."
Sirius smiled and reached over to pull him into a one-armed hug. "I've missed you, too, Moony. This time we'll do better. I swear it."
Remus leaned into his embrace for a long moment before pulling away. "I should get back to Hogwarts. I don't want any questions."
"Yeah. Dumbledore and the boys aren't getting along right now. It's probably best you don't mention them," Sirius agreed. He stood and offered Remus a hand.
Remus took it and let Sirius help pull him to his feet. His chest gave a painful squeeze, and his joints all popped alarmingly, but Remus was used to pushing past pain. He managed to find his feet.
"Come on," Sirius said. "I'll walk you out to where it's okay to Apparate."
Remus slowly followed him out into the hall. There was an open foyer and a large staircase to the right. Harry stood at the base, while Yuy stood behind the teenager, a supportive hand on his shoulder. Remus looked into Yuy's eyes for a brief second before looking away, unable to maintain the contact.
If Quatre had an aura of confidence, Yuy had an aura of dominance. It had been there before, when they went to Hogwarts, but now it was twice as strong. Remus wasn't sure if it was because it was so close to the full moon, his sense of guilt for nearly killing the young man, or if the attack made Remus able to sense Yuy better.
Remus' knees went weak and he nearly went down. He managed to keep his feet but couldn't prevent exposing his throat in a submissive gesture. He stood there, frozen, as the young man released Harry and stepped forward. A strong, warm hand gripped his shoulder near the base of his neck. It squeezed once before releasing him. Remus felt relief so powerful he nearly burst into tears. Yuy had every right to tear his throat out, yet he'd spared Remus' life.
"We will see you soon," Yuy said in a monotone before turning and walking down the hallway toward the kitchen.
Harry gave a little wave. "Bye, Remus."
"Bye, Harry," Remus rasped and let Sirius tug him toward the front door.
Stepping into sunshine, Remus took a deep, painful breath and wondered what he'd just signed up for. Harry's little family was intense. They weren't normal by any stretch of the imagination, and living among them was sure to put more grey in his hair. A snicker drew his attention to the left and he saw Sirius covering his mouth and laughing at him.
"What's so funny?" Remus demanded, hands on hips.
"You look like this will be the last day of sun you'll ever see," Sirius said with a loud laugh. "They're bad, but they aren't that bad."
Remus remembered Maxwell's glare, the weird effect Quatre had on him when they touched hands, and the way his instincts overpowered him in Yuy's presence. But then he took in the sight of Sirius laughing. They were walking side-by-side down the street, together again. Even if it was the last day he'd see the sun, it would be completely worth it. Remus smiled a smile that matched Sirius' own. He was whole again.
xXxXxXx
"So he'll be back in three weeks when school ends?" Duo asked. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his lover with a deep frown.
Heero turned from where he was crouched in front of his duffel. They were about to embark on the journey through Dumbledore's memories, and Heero had come up to get his gun. Sirius swore up and down that a Pensieve couldn't be used offensively, that they wouldn't be hurt within it, but Heero wasn't exactly the type to take chances. Duo had followed him, feeling restless and discontent.
Heero rose from his crouch and came to stand in front of his lover. "What is it?" he asked while buckling on the thigh holster containing his berretta.
"Lupin almost killed you," Duo grumbled, glaring up at Heero. "He could kill others."
"By his word, he's never killed or infected another human being. That makes him more innocent than us," Heero countered, staring down at him intently.
Duo huffed and angrily grabbed his braid, twisting it in his hands. A calloused hand grabbed his chin and forced his head up.
"Duo," Heero said firmly.
Duo knocked his hand away and got to his feet. He began to pace in the small space. Heero was right. They'd killed hundreds in the war. They were no stranger to death or mayhem. In fact, Duo was the worst of them all. Ever since Quatre had started his program to save abused children, Duo had worked as an assassin when intolerable cases that Quatre couldn't legally alter came up. So why was he so furious with this Lupin character?
He yelped as Heero grabbed him around the waist and literally threw him on the bed. "Hey!" Duo cried out as his butt bounced. "Watch your…!" His protest died on his tongue as he looked up into Heero's thunderous face.
"I've ignored your tantrum long enough," Heero growled. He stalked forward, and in a quick movement, was on the bed straddling Duo, Heero's hands pinning his wrists to the bed, their faces inches apart. "What's really bothering you, Duo?"
"I don't want to be here!" Duo cried out in frustration. He yanked at his arms, but Heero held them firm. "Monstrous creatures and magic… Another godforsaken war… I'm done with it! I'm not starting this shit all over. I refuse! I'm not going to be the last one standing all over again!"
Flashes of Solo and the gang of street kids he'd been raised by. The way they died slowly in agony from starvation and illness when a killer strand of influenza swept through L2. Then Father Maxwell and Sister Helen at the church. He'd been with them just shy of a year before he lost them to the war. Duo had come home to find them gunned down and brutalized. After that, he'd become revenge obsessed, and he'd jumped at the chance to fight in the war. Until he'd fallen in with the other Gundam pilots. He'd found companions, and once Harry had come he'd found a family and a lover.
"I won't make it this time, Heero." Duo stared up at Heero with tear-filled violet eyes. "I won't make it. I can't do it again. I can't."
Heero closed the distance between them. The kiss was gentle and consuming, and Duo whimpered deep in his throat as Heero claimed his mouth thoroughly. Heero's hands slipped up Duo's wrists until their fingers interlocked. For long seconds their mouths moved against each other. When Heero finally pulled away, Duo lay breathless, his lips glistening and inflamed.
"I'm not so easy to kill," Heero whispered. He leaned in and pressed his lips to the spot right under Duo's ear. Duo gasped and arched into his lover as Heero slid his mouth along his jaw, nipping lightly. "I always complete my mission." Heero slipped down, trailing his soft lips every so lightly over Duo's throat until he reached the hollow at the base. There he pressed his teeth in hard enough to leave a mark, sucking until warm blood rose just beneath the surface. Duo moaned, his whole body tensing as he stared mindlessly up at the ceiling. "For the rest of my life, my first priority will always be you and Harry." Heero rose and pressed their foreheads together, forcing their eyes to meet. "You're my mission now. I won't fail you. You will not be left standing alone."
Duo went limp as all the air left his lungs as the sheer weight of that vow settled on him. Heero truly meant those words, and as irrational as it was, Duo believed him. The tension in his expression relaxed into a tender smile. "I love you, Heero Yuy, and tonight I'm going to fuck your brains out."
Heero laughed and pulled away just as a knock came at the door.
"We're ready," Trowa called softly.
"Coming," Heero answered, climbing off Duo and the bed.
"Not yet," Duo disagreed and cut his eyes slyly at his partner. "But you will."
Heero's eyes sparkled in anticipation as he pulled Duo to his feet. His fingers gently brushed over the mark he'd left at the hollow of Duo's throat as he brushed the long braid back over Duo's shoulder. Duo grinned, caught Heero's hand, and brought it up to his mouth to nip at his fingers.
"Later," Heero promised, a growl roughening his voice.
Duo laughed and danced toward the door. "Promises."
Chapter end.
A/N: So, Heero is NOT a werewolf! Your votes from last chapter were a landslide victory for non-wolf Heero. (grins) Heero's too badass already to muck about with his biology.
A/N2: Very dramatic, emotional chapter. I promise we'll get into more action soon. We'll also see more HP characters, including Harry's peers in the next few chapters. So look forward to that!
Please review!