Despair

"Did you continue talking to him?"

Skye groaned in frustration, fighting a desire to reach through the computer and strangle Kara. "Of course, I continued talking to him! Do you really think I'd just give up on him without even trying?"

"No. I just…that isn't like Grant."

"I know! I tried everything I could think of. I told him he was the talk of the base since he's had such a miraculous recovery. I mentioned all the emails I've been writing him since he'd gotten sick. I told him about you, Captain American, and the Black Widow all checking up on him. Nothing."

"And then what?"

"And then nothing because I didn't know what to do. I couldn't stay down there forever especially since I promised DC I'd only visit for half an hour which, if everything was good, is barely enough time to say hello." Skye paused, feeling her unhappiness with Coulson displace her frustration with Grant. After all, Grant had an excuse! But Coulson was just being mean, or at least, that's what it felt like to Skye. It's like he's punishing me for falling in love with Grant! She immediately felt disloyal even thinking along those lines, so she pushed her thoughts back to Kara's question. "I just told Grant I loved him and would see him later. Kara, he didn't even look at me!"

"This is bad. Grant's a survivor. He always does whatever he has to do to survive but maybe this has been too much. Covid's no joke. I've gotten depressed several times since getting out of the ICU area and I didn't have it nearly as bad as he did." Her expression darkened. "I also haven't been isolated and put in a cage."

"That has to be wearing on him. I'd be going crazy too if I were in his position." She hesitated, not knowing how much was wise to say. Although she'd taken what precautions she could, Skye was aware their conversation could be monitored. "I never thought they'd take it this far. I mean, I know everyone is really angry at Grant but I didn't think they'd kick him when he's down."

"Really, Skye? I was under the impression you were a realist. SHIELD does whatever's best for SHIELD no matter who gets in their way. Grant told me that the reason John Garrett turned to Hydra was because SHIELD refused to help him out of a tough situation, one he was in because of them. Of course, Garrett was a narcissist, so we don't know how much of that's true but it wouldn't surprise me. He got the injury that was killing him somehow!"

Skye nodded slowly. She understood SHIELD wasn't always warm and fuzzy in the abstract but she didn't want to admit the people she loved also could treat people poorly. Yet, despite her best efforts, images of Scorch, Miles, and other people harmed by members of her own team flashed before her eyes. She shook her head briefly, trying hard to rid herself of those disturbing thoughts. "Oh hey, I've been meaning to ask you about something that's been bothering me. One of the reasons so many people are mad at Grant is because he was a double. I know I haven't been in SHIELD very long but aren't doubles fairly common? Or is the Black Widow the only one?"

"They're common," Kara replied coolly. "There are people in this base right now who've done double duty with Hydra. The problem they have with Grant – and me too for that matter – is that they don't like it when the tables are turned."

"Hold up. Do you mean someone I work with here…"

"Don't be so naïve, Skye! SHIELD sends agents to infiltrate other agencies and other agencies do the same thing to SHIELD. It's practically standard operating procedure for any intelligence gathering agency! If that's all it was, I wouldn't even be mad. But the problem with the person here is that she sold me out as part of her cover. I was captured based on information she gave to Hydra. It wasn't my fault but SHIELD still left me to the wolves. And now they're mistreating Grant because he did things any one of them would've done had the shoe been on the other foot! SHIELD likes to pretend they always have the moral high ground but they don't!"

Skye bit her lip. She had a lot to think about and Kara was clearly upset. "I'm sorry, Kara. I can't even imagine what it must be like to deal with betrayal on top of everything else."

Kara's forbidding expression softened when she glimpsed Skye's sincere expression of sympathy. "It's OK, Skye. I'm trying to deal with it but it isn't easy when I'm surrounded by people who gave me up as a lost cause. It's not anything you did. No, don't ask," she said, correctly reading Skye's attempt to ask who the offending agent was. "I'll tell you eventually but not now."

Skye's next two visits with Grant weren't any better than her first one. He continued to stare listlessly at the wall while she tried getting his attention. She talked about their future, shared gossip, and asked questions about how he was feeling. She even brought up their erotic Zoom call to see if she could get a reaction. Nothing.

If that wasn't bad enough, Trip told her that Grant had tried again to disconnect all the wires and get out of bed, like he was wanting to be sicker than he already was. In Trip's opinion, the only thing preventing Grant from doing serious harm to himself was his fatigue and difficulty with moving on his own. But that wouldn't last forever. If he got physically better but couldn't shake his depression, there was no telling what Grant would do. And the situation was bound to get worse. One of the hardest things to endure is to struggle to do things that were so easy for you before. Fitz was a prime example of that. If Grant felt this bad now when he hadn't even tried to do regular things, there was no telling how he'd feel later.

Skye's fear about what was going on with Grant steadily increased, especially since she didn't know how to help him. To top it off, she was also feeling incredibly alone, a feeling she absolutely despised. Skye had felt alone for much of her life, until she joined the Rising Tide and, later, SHIELD. She wasn't expecting to feel so alone now when she was in the middle of people who cared about her. Yet she was. At least I'm familiar with it. Sure, she could discuss her fears about Grant with Kara but it wasn't like Kara had any solutions and she had her own issues to deal with. Besides, she didn't know Kara well enough to share her emotional state with her.

During her third visit with Grant, despite knowing it was somewhat unfair, Skye mentioned to him that he was once again abandoning her. She thought she saw a flicker of interest but it was so quick that she questioned whether it'd even happened. Once again, she was forced to turn to email.

Damn it, Grant! I realize this is a special situation – with you just having fought for your life and all – but it's so unfair. You promised you wouldn't abandon me but that's exactly what it feels like! I realize how whiny and terrible this makes me. You're still sick and now you're locked up too. I get it but I also know how it makes me feel. I'm begging you to fight but it's like you've given up. That's not how this is supposed to go, Grant!

If you're reading this, you're healthier and everything is probably fine, so I don't have to feel too bad about yelling at you. But right now, it feels like I'm doing everything I can to save you and you're not even trying. Do you believe you belong in Vault B? Do you think you deserve people treating you badly? Well, you don't. Yes, you've done some bad things but everyone deserves good care, especially when they're sick. I don't even want to imagine what the Avengers are going to do when they hear about this!

With Grant's condition not improving and her colleagues not budging in their justification for keeping him in Vault B, Skye was getting increasingly desperate. She needed to do something drastic, something that would shake everyone out of their unthinking compliance, when she hit upon the perfect solution. One phone call later – a call filled with a creative interpretation of facts – and her plan was set in motion.

Waiting's always the hard part which is why Skye's face broke into a relieved smile as she watched Dr. Andrew Garner blow into the Covid test tube to determine if he was negative for the virus. The rapid test was a new FitzSimmons invention and a very welcome one. With the introduction of the test, the Playground was able to do away with masks and social distancing restrictions because the tests allowed everyone to know immediately whether they could move freely about the base or go directly to their rooms to quarantine. Entry into the base now required a negative result before anyone was allowed in. This was a much better system and Skye hoped it would become common in the civilian population soon. She was beyond ready for the pandemic to be over.

The test tube lit up green, signaling that Andrew was free to enter. Skye appreciated how he practically glided across the garage floor towards where she was waiting for him. The man was smooth. She supposed he had to be in order to convince May to marry him. Although Skye had heard rumors that May had once been a warm and fun-loving person prior to whatever had happened in Bahrain, it was still hard to believe. Then again, if anyone could convince May to open up, it'd have to be someone as smart, talented, and handsome as Andrew. Skye gave an internal sigh of relief. This is going to work!

"Dr. Garner! Thanks so much for coming," she said as professionally as possible as she led him into a small office directly off the entryway. It was important she be able to speak with him before anyone else on the team knew he was there.

Andrew sat, looking Skye up and down in a professional manner. She did her best not to fidget during his examination but it was difficult since his gaze was startlingly perceptive. "Phil and Melinda don't know I'm here, do they?"

Skye sighed. Time to go for broke! "No. I'm sorry. I know I got you here under false pretenses but I'm desperate. Like I told you, one of SHIELD's former agents – someone who's now working for the Avengers by the way – got Covid and is severely depressed. I'm really hoping you'll be able to help him because nothing else is working."

"That part I know. What aren't you telling me, Skye?"

"The situation is complicated. Coulson's really angry at Grant…um, Agent Ward…and he isn't thinking straight. What Coulson's doing is making things worse. He's punishing him unfairly and I'm really worried that it's making Grant sicker than he already is." She noted Andrew's skeptical expression. "Look, I don't want you to get into trouble with SHIELD or with May but I really need your professional expertise. Please just look into what's happening. If you say everything's fine, then I'll accept your opinion and back off. But I don't think that's what's going to happen."

"Grant Ward, huh? That certainly does complicate things." Andrew sighed, then gave Skye a hard look. "I don't like the way you manipulated me into coming but I understand you didn't think you had a choice. This is what I'm going to do. I'll look into what's going on with Agent Ward but I'm not going to do it behind Coulson's back. Or Melinda's. And you promise to not only stay out of my way but also abide by whatever decision I come to whether you like it or not. Do we have a deal?"

"Yes, of course. And thank you."

Andrew took copious notes as Skye told him everything, from the way Grant left the team to the two of them getting back in touch and Grant being put into Vault B. She didn't leave anything out. Andrew was her ace in the hole and if this didn't work, she had no idea of what to try next.

"Andrew!" Coulson said, looking up from his desk in surprise. "I didn't know you were coming. Since we don't have a meeting scheduled, I can only assume you're here to see May. Does she know you're here?"

Skye had to hand it to Andrew. He didn't show any kind of discomfort, acting instead like they actually had a meeting scheduled. He easily waved off Coulson's outstretched hand (Coulson kept forgetting that hand shaking was forbidden due to Covid, an improvement in social interactions in Skye's book) and sank into a chair. Coulson's eyebrows rose when he saw Skye leaning against the doorway. It took a lot of self-discipline for her to remain quiet but she knew Andrew had to be the one to explain.

"Melinda doesn't know I'm here, Phil, although I'd love to see her before I leave. No, I came because I heard you had Grant Ward in custody and I'm here to do an assessment of his emotional state. SHIELD usually has me conduct the examination of the psychological states of high-value prisoners, so I assumed that would be the case with Agent Ward. I couldn't come previously due to your Covid precautions but I got here as quickly as I could."

Skye smothered a smile. Although Coulson likely wasn't fooled, especially about who'd spilled the beans about Grant Ward being in custody, Andrew had just handed him a plausible reason for the consultation. Coulson couldn't deny the request without appearing biased. Skye was both impressed by Andrew's masterful strategy and hopeful that things could get better.

Coulson frowned and shot Skye a "we'll talk later" look. "You're right, Dr. Garner. We do need for you to assess him. I meant to ask you earlier but, with everything that's been happening, I hadn't gotten around to it. How do you want to proceed?"

Skye edged out of the room as Andrew started setting up a schedule of talking with Jemma and other members of the medical team, meeting with Kara, and then talking with Grant. If Andrew needed her, she'd be around but she wanted to avoid Coulson for as long as possible. Skye was under no illusions about how angry he was that she circumvented his authority to get Andrew on base. However, for the first time in a long time, getting Coulson's approval wasn't at the top of her priority list and Skye was starting to wonder what was. Like millions of people across the globe, the pandemic had rocked her world and was making her re-evaluate everything.