p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Two months after Carlisle had changed, the vampire hunts started up again, this time with my own father leading them. He had thought I would be pleased that he was going to be avenging Carlisle, but instead my anxiety only increased. What if he found the vampires that Carlisle had found? Or worse-what if he found Carlisle? I couldn't bear to lose either one of them and the thought of it kept me up at night, staring at the ceiling waiting for Papa to return from the latest hunt./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Father Cullen was quick to note my distraction when I visited after a particularly long night./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Come here, Lorelle," Father rasped, voice hoarse from his most recent coughing fit. The physician who had been attending him offered him some concoction, but Father Cullen waved him off. "Closer, dear, I don't have the strength to talk any louder. There you go. Now... do I appear to have a fever?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Um..." A little baffled, I glanced at the physician. He simply shrugged. "I suppose I can't be sure, Father. I'm not a physician."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Impatiently, he reached out and pulled my hand to his forehead. "See? Perfectly fine. And yet this young man sees fit to subject me to the leeches again."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'm sure he knows best..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Bah. Now, Lorelle, dear, something seems to be bothering you. And... I believe I might know what."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Do you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Mmhm. Your father visited me yesterday to ask for my blessing for a hunt. I gave it, of course, but I couldn't help thinking... you've already lost someone to those forsaken hunts."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Forsaken... Father, didn't you approve of them?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He had the grace to look ashamed at least. "When you're dying, you spend a lot of time thinking about your life... and regretting. My own dearest son was lost to those hunts. More good than evil has died to them. But it's too late now. And you... you have to live with my mistake."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Please, don't blame yourself."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I tried to convince Bennet that you didn't deserve to lose him as well, but, well... you learned that stubborn streak of yours from somewhere, didn't you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I felt myself flush. "I suppose."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""So, tell me. How do you really feel about this?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You're right," I admitted. "I'm... I'm terrified he'll be injured or hurt. I hate spending my nights in an empty house, waiting for him to return dead or alive."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Perhaps I have a solution for you, then. Parker, tell her what you were telling me."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The physician shuffled, sitting up in his seat. "The good Father shouldn't be alone for any length of time, but he would rather not... how did you phrase it again, Father?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I would rather not spend the rest of my days with some addle-plot physician," Father said smugly. I choked back a laugh, trying to keep a straight face for the poor man who was clearly just trying his best./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I see. Well, Father, I'll gladly take over for him if that's what you wish."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""See there, Parker? Go on, then."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Parker sighed, getting to his feet and giving me a look./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'll walk you out," I offered quickly. At the door, Parker pulled me aside, expression grim./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""This isn't typical, you understand, but... well, there's not much I can do for him at this point. And if there were, he wouldn't let me do it. He's lost his wife and son, and he's prepared to see them again. You're all he has left here, and if he wants you here for his last days, who am I to deny him?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Knowing Father Cullen would notice if I started crying, I bit back my tears and nodded silently. Parker reached out, patting my shoulder./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I wish you luck, Miss Bennet."/p
hr style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #000000;" /
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"That night, I slept alone in Carlisle's old bed, his familiar scent still lingering on the linens. It brought memories of our childhood to the surface, and I found myself dwelling on the earliest ones. Our fathers, of course, knew each other well, and so we spent much of our childhood together, both of our mothers calling after us as we ran around the streets. When we weren't playing, Carlisle's mother would teach us grammar and basic letters, reading through the sections of the bible she knew well, and my own mother would play her pipa for us, a little stringed instrument that was one of the few valuables she had brought with her from China. Sometimes, if we were particularly well behaved, she would let us pluck the strings ourselves and try to put together a little tune./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"After the first several years of our lives spent essentially inseparable, Carlisle and his mother stopped joining us on our daily walks. Instead of taking me along, my mother would visit them with a basket of groceries, or left overs from our last meal. She would come back looking troubled, and eventually even those visits stopped. Carlisle's mother, pregnant with his younger sister, had fallen ill, both her and her child succumbing to the sickness shortly after her labor pains had begun. I hadn't understood at the time why that meant that Carlisle was no longer out playing with me, but later on, I realized that he'd devoted himself to studying under his father./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"And then we lost my mother. Too grief stricken to speak, I had sent for Father Cullen to perform her last rites, only for Carlisle to join him, staying behind to make sure that we would be able to manage./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"That moment had rekindled our childhood friendship, and while our days of running freely through the city had come to an end, we found other things that we shared in common. In the spare moments between Carlisle's lessons with his father, we'd sit and read together, learning to enjoy both poetry and prose. We'd venture into the city, walking through green parks and bustling markets. More than once, I was able to rope him into joining me at evening dances with Paula, one of my dearest friends, and eventually, her future husband, Jonathan. Without Carlisle's friendship in those years, I wasn't sure what I would have done. After all, my father was little support. Barely able to keep up with his duties with the church, the only time he'd shown more emotion than the endless grief had been when Carlisle and his friends had shattered that window. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Eventually, though, Papa realized he'd grown negligent... and I came home to some man I had never met in our home, talking about marriage. Papa had tried to convince me it was a good idea; this man could take care of me and give me far more attention than Papa could. But I refused, and he couldn't bear to force me into it. I had told Carlisle about the event, thinking it would just be an amusing story, but he had looked at me with a strange expression on his face./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""What?" I had asked, glancing over myself in search of some blemish that might have distracted him. "Is something wrong?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""No, I... I simply thought I had more time."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""More time for what? Even if Papa emcould /emconvince me to marry, I wouldn't just... abandon you. We've been through too much... you've been emthere /emfor me through so much..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Well... isn't that it?" Carlisle asked. "Your father wants someone to take care of you, but I've been doing that... I emwant/em to do that. I want to be there when you're upset and need a shoulder to cry on. I want to come home to you with flowers and silks and whatever I see through my day that makes me think of you. I want to be the one who sees you wake in the morning with the sun glistening on your hair. Perhaps it's selfish, but... I've always imagined that to be us. I can't see myself with anyone else but you."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"At the time, I had been momentarily shocked, looking over the boy I had grown up with, but the longer I looked, the more I saw the man he'd turned into, no longer awkward with a tilted run, but tall and confident, empathetic and loving, and the certainty bloomed within my chest that he was right; there was no other option except for him./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"We had gone to my father immediately, certain we had a solution, but he'd denied us instantly. He didn't set me up with any more suitors and he allowed Carlisle to continue courting me, but throughout the years he had been adamantly against any sort of proposal from him./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Everything had felt so complicated back then... but I would give anything to go back to a time when a lack of blessing was our only obstacle to a life together./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Frustrated by the memories of something I knew I couldn't go back to, I rolled over in the bed, squeezing my eyes closed and hugging a pillow tight to my chest./p
hr style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #000000;" /
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"With the passing days, Father Cullen was only growing worse and worse. His memory faded quickly, moments of clarity few and far between until it had been weeks since he last knew my name. The neighbor, a lovely widow whose children had long since moved away from London, had tea with him daily, offering me a few hours respite that I often used to visit Carlisle./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Carlisle, meanwhile, was finally beginning to grow more comfortable with his new body. After nearly three months since the raid, he had finally started to relax in my presence, sitting near me and every once in a while allowing his skin to brush mine. Each time we touched, no matter how small, I felt the world grow a little brighter, as if things might actually be alright in the end./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Another benefit of the passing time was that Carlisle's eyes had turned a lovely golden color, no longer the terrifying blood red they had once been. It was a sign, I thought, that he was ready to start working his way back into society. Carlisle disagreed vehemently, but I could see the longing in his eyes. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You should at least visit your father," I insisted one snowy evening. The cold was getting to be too bitter for me to stay out for long, and so our visits were growing more and more sparse to my dismay. Even the blankets and pillows I had brought to the small cave to help brighten the space could do little to chase the chill. Carlisle, however, seemed unaffected by the cold. Despite the many doublets and jerkins that I had brought, he tended to remain in just an undershirt and breeches, occasionally supplementing the look with one of his favored collars or cravats. The ribbon that had helped lead me to him and later returned when it had been cleaned of blood was always a part of his ensemble, tying back his golden hair./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Lore, we've been over this before."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He's not doing well," I said grimly, watching Carlisle flinch. I knew he loved his father, and to think of him as anything but healthy had to be painful. "A few days left at most. He hardly recognizes me anymore."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Ah." Carlisle looked to the floor. "I'm sorry."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You could go at night. No one needs to know."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""But-"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I don't want you to regret this for the rest of your life," I insisted. "I'll be there with you to make sure nothing happens."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""...alright," Carlisle finally muttered. "I'll come."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"And so, a few hours later, I met Carlisle at the edge of the city, walking him down the streets that he hadn't seen in months and keeping a careful eye on his strained expression./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""How is he?" Carlisle finally asked when we had made it back to the house./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Not good," I admitted. "He refused to eat dinner. Papa came over to do his rites before going out on another hunt."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'm sure Father Bennet will be fine," Carlisle reassured me, noticing how I chewed the inside of my cheek and reaching out to brush a thumb across my face./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You were lucky enough to find a real vampire nest."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Yes, well... I doubt that anything has changed since I left, and my situation was... a fluke."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""It was you being thorough. As always." I allowed a small smile to touch my lips. "Let's go say hello to your father, why don't we?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He nodded, following me up the stairs. I knocked gently at the door. "Father Cullen. There's someone to see you."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"There was a snort, as if he'd just begun to fall asleep, and then his raspy voice responded. "Come in. Who is it?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I opened the door, lighting the lantern. "It's just me, Father. I brought Carlisle."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Carlisle?" He looked around, as if forgetting he couldn't see. "Huh. You know, Cecily wants to name our son Carlisle. Unique name, I thought./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"My heart plummeted as I saw the dismay on Carlisle's face. I'd grown used to Father Cullen's ailing memory, grown used to him not recalling who I was, but for Carlisle... I couldn't imagine the pain. Even so, he didn't react, instead sitting at the chair on the bedside and reaching out to take his father's soft, wrinkled hand. If Father Cullen thought the chill was unusual, he didn't say anything./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I've never met another soul with my name. Your son would be lucky to bear it."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Hm." Father Cullen patted Carlisle's hand absently, mulling over his words./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Can you... can you tell me about your wife?" Carlisle prompted tentatively when he didn't say more, and a sort of peace smoothed Father Cullen's features, his milky eyes glazing over as he recalled his early memories of Cecily Cullen. I hovered in the doorway for a moment, but Carlisle was engrossed in his father's tales, and so I quietly slipped away to give them some privacy. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Well over an hour had passed when Carlisle finally joined me in the kitchen, where I sat with a warm cup of tea./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Are you alright?" I asked, voice soft, and he nodded and sat across from me. He reached out, hands still warm from holding his father's, and cupped them around mine./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Thank you. For taking care of him when I couldn't. And... and for bringing me here."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I nodded, not wanting to speak for fear of breaking the strange, melancholy peace that had washed over him./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He never spoke about Mama after she passed," Carlisle murmured. "Their marriage was arranged, I knew that. Her parents were wealthy donors to the Church. But he'd loved her from the very start, he told me. Even before it was arranged. He said he had done everything he could to make sure everything worked in her favor, even forged some letters to my grandparents talking about how blessed a union it would be." His eyes, now faded to a warm bronze, stared unblinkingly at our clasped hands. "I shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't recognize me. You warned me."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I couldn't keep myself from offering a small piece of comfort. "You're still allowed to feel pain. It isn't his fault. He still loves you dearly, even if he can't remember right now. But that doesn't mean it can't still hurt."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He looked up at me, a forced smile on his lips. "I know. And it was... nice. To hear him speak about Mama like that. Despite everything, he seems happy, at least."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He stood, eyes flitting uncertainly towards the door, and I quickly got to my feet as well./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Stay?" I asked. "Just for the night. It's far more comfortable than your little cave."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He chuckled. "Despite all the efforts you've put in to make it more homely for me, I can't deny that you're right. I'll stay."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Thrilled, I rinsed my cup, putting out the lantern and leading Carlisle to his old room. He took a deep breath, scanning it. Many of his books and clothes were missing, currently waiting for him in his cave, and though there was no visible sign of my presence, I knew he could smell me lingering on every surface./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You've been staying in here."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Well, I'm hardly going to sleep on the bench in the kitchen," I scoffed. "Besides... It helps me feel a little less lonely. Miss you a little less."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again, a small smile gracing his lips as he surprised me and tugged me onto the bed, pulling me close. A lump rose in the back of my throat at the unexpected proximity./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Just like old times," I forced out, trying to remain casual. I prayed that I didn't make the wrong move, triggering his thirst and forcing him away from me as had happened so many times before./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Just like old times," he agreed, reaching out to brush a lock of hair from my eyes. "Breaking rules, left and right."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Unspoken rules, for his comfort, for my safety. I knew that was what he spoke of now, but I pushed him in a different direction./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""We always were a little rebellious. Imagine if my father knew we had ever been alone in a room together..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'm sure he suspects, but if he caught us..." Carlisle shivered. "I doubt he'd have been so generous with the time together he allotted us."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He pressed his lips to my forehead, then gazed at me, so close that our noses brushed. His scent washed over me, leaving me blinking, mind empty./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You have beautiful eyes," he murmured. "Such a warm brown color. And when the light hits them just right, they shine like polished bronze. I can see their depths so clearly now."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Flatterer," I breathed out, unable to come up with any other words. Carlisle laughed./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Only because you deserve it. I've never said an untrue word to you."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Then marry me," I said, heart picking up as the words flowed from my mouth unbidden. "You told me you would. And I know, so much has changed in the past few months. But that doesn't change how I feel about you. I still want our eternity."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I know. I know you do, my darling," Carlisle murmured. "I do, too. But... but there is so much to consider. Everyone thinks I died months ago, I can't simply return from the dead with golden eyes instead of blue and skin that shines in the sun. Not to mention that your father has never approved of me, a fact unlikely to change even if I rise from the grave."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He doesn't need to know," I said, a topic neither of us had ever broached, though it had lingered in the air every time we spoke of marrying. I sat up, pulling Carlisle with me and holding his hands tight between us. "We could do it tonight. God as our witness, or... Father Cullen knows the words well enough. I've heard him reciting them to himself, even with his memory half gone."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Now?" Carlisle looked surprised, but not, I was glad to see, opposed. "But what of your father?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""This isn't for him. It's for us."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"A small smile toyed at the corner of his lips. "And even though I'm... this..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""That has never mattered to me. You know that."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Well then, I can hardly say no, can I?" He pressed his lips to the back of my hands, eyes still trained on mine. "I did make you a promise, after all."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Reluctant to wake Father Cullen for our own impulsivity, Carlisle and I instead remained tangled together in his bed until my eyes had drifted shut, against my wishes, only to open again when the sun had risen. Carlisle hadn't left my arms, watching me sleep with a softness in his eyes that I had missed seeing. I automatically smiled, reaching out to trace his icy lips. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You don't have cold feet, do you?" he asked, and though I was tempted to tease him about the state of his own very much emfreezing /emfeet, I shook my head./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Is he awake?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He is," Carlisle confirmed./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I should make breakfast, then." I reluctantly rolled from the mattress, selecting a lavender gown from the bags I had stored under the bed. I hadn't undressed last night, distracted by Carlisle's willingness to be in such close proximity to me, so while I was already regretting that decision, sore from the hours spent in the many underpinnings I wore, dressing was much less time consuming than it typically was. Carlisle had respectfully left the room with his own change of clothes when he'd realized my intentions, and I found him again in the kitchen, handing me a cup of tea./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Thank you," I murmured, dancing about the kitchen to prepare a simple meal of bread and butter, a sprinkle of sage on top-just how Father Cullen liked it. He claimed that sage sharpened the wits, and while I wasn't sure there was any credence to that declaration, I wasn't about to deny an old man his superstitions. My stomach fluttered with nerves as Carlisle and I both made our way up to his father's room, knocking and entering./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Lorelle? Is that you, child?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"My heart leapt into my chest. Was this a good day for the Father? It had been ages since he'd last called me by my name. Perhaps Papa had been ahead of himself, performing his last rights the prior evening. "It is, Father," I replied, setting his breakfast tray on his lap and wrapping his hands around his tea. "Carlisle is here as well."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Carlisle?" His eyes landed on Carlisle's form in the doorway, hovering hesitantly. Clear recognition at the name sent relief soaring through me. Perhaps Carlisle's farewell to his father wouldn't need to be tarnished by his failing memory after all. "Come here, boy. Can't see so well anymore."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Of course, Father," Carlisle said, a tremor in his voice. I wondered if Father Cullen could hear the difference from his human voice, but if he could, he said nothing./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""How are your studies?" Father Cullen asked, gripping his tea in one hand and patting Carlisle's cheek with the other./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Very good," Carlisle assured him. He sat tentatively on the very edge of the mattress./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Good. You'll be taking over the parish soon enough."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Oh, don't-"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Shush, boy. I'm old. I've lived my life, and I'm ready. Are you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Carlisle swallowed, glancing at me. In his eyes, I could see a young boy's fear, fear of losing his only remaining parent. "I..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You'll have to be."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'll do my best."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I know you will. Treat your Lorelle right, will you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Of course," he replied immediately, eyes flicking to me. "I couldn't dream of doing any less. She deserves the world."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""And Lorelle? You'll keep an eye on him?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I took a few steps forward, joining Carlisle at the side of the Father's bed. "I will," I swore. "I promise I'll take care of him. I love him too much to let him get in his own head."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Father Cullen smiled at that, reaching for his glass of water. "Good, good… I always knew it would be the two of you against the world. You'll need each other. Don't ever forget that."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"His words seemed as good a segue as any, and Carlisle cleared his throat nervously. "Father, can... can I ask a favor of you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He scoffed. "I'm not in much shape to do much."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I know. It isn't much. Can... can you marry us? Lorelle and me?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Marry you?" Father Cullen squinted at me. "Surely Father Bennett would be better suited..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He hasn't given his blessing," I said softly. "And I doubt he ever will. But... Carlisle is the only one for me, Father. I'm more than willing to risk my own father's anger for my love for your son."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Well then. I would love nothing more."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The makeshift ceremony, simple in every way, was still more than I could have ever asked for. Father Cullen took his time leading us through our vows, having to take several breaks to breathe and gather himself, but neither Carlisle or I minded. Nerves had long since given way to excitement, and as finally we kissed each other as husband and wife, I felt a sort of peace wash over me. After so much gone wrong in the past few months, this, at least, was right. If nothing else, then at least Carlisle and I would spend our lives side by side as we'd always dreamed./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Not long after finishing our marriage rites, Father Cullen fell asleep again. Though once I might have itched to celebrate, I knew I couldn't leave Father Cullen alone for long, and instead, Carlisle and I spent the next few hours quietly discussing our plans for the coming months. Staying in London was, unfortunately, not an option if Carlisle was to integrate back into living amongst humans, let alone living with me, and while we wouldn't leave quite yet, there were still preparations to be made./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Near midday, Carlisle glanced towards his father's room, and I felt a rock settle in my chest at his expression./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Is he-"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""His heart is slowing," Carlisle murmured. In a rare display of his abilities, he seemed to vanish, a mere blur as he ran to his father's side. I felt my eyes burn, but I quickly bit back the tears, hesitantly trailing after my husband. I leaned against the doorway, breath caught in my chest. For all the strength and clarity Father Cullen had shown this morning, he clearly was very near death. Eyes half open and glassy, breathing labored, I knew there was no coming back from this. Carlisle knew, as well, quietly reciting his last rites. It was a habit, I was sure. And perhaps a reassurance, considering my own father had performed them nearly a full day ago now./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"As I watched, Father Cullen's labored breaths slowly stilled, and Carlisle's shoulders slumped, a murmured, "Goodbye, Papa," slipping through his lips. Unable to hold my tears back any longer, I finally stepped into the room, wrapping my arms around my husband's back, pressing my face to his shoulder./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He's gone," he said, words strangled./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'm sorry," I whispered, squeezing him tighter as his body began to shake with sobs, though no tears fell from his face. My chest ached, and though I wished I could ease his pain, I knew there was nothing I could do. And so instead, I held him, the two of us mourning his father as one./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Father Cullen was quick to note my distraction when I visited after a particularly long night./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Come here, Lorelle," Father rasped, voice hoarse from his most recent coughing fit. The physician who had been attending him offered him some concoction, but Father Cullen waved him off. "Closer, dear, I don't have the strength to talk any louder. There you go. Now... do I appear to have a fever?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Um..." A little baffled, I glanced at the physician. He simply shrugged. "I suppose I can't be sure, Father. I'm not a physician."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Impatiently, he reached out and pulled my hand to his forehead. "See? Perfectly fine. And yet this young man sees fit to subject me to the leeches again."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'm sure he knows best..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Bah. Now, Lorelle, dear, something seems to be bothering you. And... I believe I might know what."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Do you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Mmhm. Your father visited me yesterday to ask for my blessing for a hunt. I gave it, of course, but I couldn't help thinking... you've already lost someone to those forsaken hunts."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Forsaken... Father, didn't you approve of them?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He had the grace to look ashamed at least. "When you're dying, you spend a lot of time thinking about your life... and regretting. My own dearest son was lost to those hunts. More good than evil has died to them. But it's too late now. And you... you have to live with my mistake."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Please, don't blame yourself."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I tried to convince Bennet that you didn't deserve to lose him as well, but, well... you learned that stubborn streak of yours from somewhere, didn't you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I felt myself flush. "I suppose."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""So, tell me. How do you really feel about this?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You're right," I admitted. "I'm... I'm terrified he'll be injured or hurt. I hate spending my nights in an empty house, waiting for him to return dead or alive."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Perhaps I have a solution for you, then. Parker, tell her what you were telling me."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The physician shuffled, sitting up in his seat. "The good Father shouldn't be alone for any length of time, but he would rather not... how did you phrase it again, Father?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I would rather not spend the rest of my days with some addle-plot physician," Father said smugly. I choked back a laugh, trying to keep a straight face for the poor man who was clearly just trying his best./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I see. Well, Father, I'll gladly take over for him if that's what you wish."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""See there, Parker? Go on, then."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Parker sighed, getting to his feet and giving me a look./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'll walk you out," I offered quickly. At the door, Parker pulled me aside, expression grim./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""This isn't typical, you understand, but... well, there's not much I can do for him at this point. And if there were, he wouldn't let me do it. He's lost his wife and son, and he's prepared to see them again. You're all he has left here, and if he wants you here for his last days, who am I to deny him?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Knowing Father Cullen would notice if I started crying, I bit back my tears and nodded silently. Parker reached out, patting my shoulder./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I wish you luck, Miss Bennet."/p
hr style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #000000;" /
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"That night, I slept alone in Carlisle's old bed, his familiar scent still lingering on the linens. It brought memories of our childhood to the surface, and I found myself dwelling on the earliest ones. Our fathers, of course, knew each other well, and so we spent much of our childhood together, both of our mothers calling after us as we ran around the streets. When we weren't playing, Carlisle's mother would teach us grammar and basic letters, reading through the sections of the bible she knew well, and my own mother would play her pipa for us, a little stringed instrument that was one of the few valuables she had brought with her from China. Sometimes, if we were particularly well behaved, she would let us pluck the strings ourselves and try to put together a little tune./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"After the first several years of our lives spent essentially inseparable, Carlisle and his mother stopped joining us on our daily walks. Instead of taking me along, my mother would visit them with a basket of groceries, or left overs from our last meal. She would come back looking troubled, and eventually even those visits stopped. Carlisle's mother, pregnant with his younger sister, had fallen ill, both her and her child succumbing to the sickness shortly after her labor pains had begun. I hadn't understood at the time why that meant that Carlisle was no longer out playing with me, but later on, I realized that he'd devoted himself to studying under his father./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"And then we lost my mother. Too grief stricken to speak, I had sent for Father Cullen to perform her last rites, only for Carlisle to join him, staying behind to make sure that we would be able to manage./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"That moment had rekindled our childhood friendship, and while our days of running freely through the city had come to an end, we found other things that we shared in common. In the spare moments between Carlisle's lessons with his father, we'd sit and read together, learning to enjoy both poetry and prose. We'd venture into the city, walking through green parks and bustling markets. More than once, I was able to rope him into joining me at evening dances with Paula, one of my dearest friends, and eventually, her future husband, Jonathan. Without Carlisle's friendship in those years, I wasn't sure what I would have done. After all, my father was little support. Barely able to keep up with his duties with the church, the only time he'd shown more emotion than the endless grief had been when Carlisle and his friends had shattered that window. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Eventually, though, Papa realized he'd grown negligent... and I came home to some man I had never met in our home, talking about marriage. Papa had tried to convince me it was a good idea; this man could take care of me and give me far more attention than Papa could. But I refused, and he couldn't bear to force me into it. I had told Carlisle about the event, thinking it would just be an amusing story, but he had looked at me with a strange expression on his face./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""What?" I had asked, glancing over myself in search of some blemish that might have distracted him. "Is something wrong?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""No, I... I simply thought I had more time."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""More time for what? Even if Papa emcould /emconvince me to marry, I wouldn't just... abandon you. We've been through too much... you've been emthere /emfor me through so much..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Well... isn't that it?" Carlisle asked. "Your father wants someone to take care of you, but I've been doing that... I emwant/em to do that. I want to be there when you're upset and need a shoulder to cry on. I want to come home to you with flowers and silks and whatever I see through my day that makes me think of you. I want to be the one who sees you wake in the morning with the sun glistening on your hair. Perhaps it's selfish, but... I've always imagined that to be us. I can't see myself with anyone else but you."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"At the time, I had been momentarily shocked, looking over the boy I had grown up with, but the longer I looked, the more I saw the man he'd turned into, no longer awkward with a tilted run, but tall and confident, empathetic and loving, and the certainty bloomed within my chest that he was right; there was no other option except for him./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"We had gone to my father immediately, certain we had a solution, but he'd denied us instantly. He didn't set me up with any more suitors and he allowed Carlisle to continue courting me, but throughout the years he had been adamantly against any sort of proposal from him./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Everything had felt so complicated back then... but I would give anything to go back to a time when a lack of blessing was our only obstacle to a life together./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Frustrated by the memories of something I knew I couldn't go back to, I rolled over in the bed, squeezing my eyes closed and hugging a pillow tight to my chest./p
hr style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #000000;" /
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"With the passing days, Father Cullen was only growing worse and worse. His memory faded quickly, moments of clarity few and far between until it had been weeks since he last knew my name. The neighbor, a lovely widow whose children had long since moved away from London, had tea with him daily, offering me a few hours respite that I often used to visit Carlisle./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Carlisle, meanwhile, was finally beginning to grow more comfortable with his new body. After nearly three months since the raid, he had finally started to relax in my presence, sitting near me and every once in a while allowing his skin to brush mine. Each time we touched, no matter how small, I felt the world grow a little brighter, as if things might actually be alright in the end./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Another benefit of the passing time was that Carlisle's eyes had turned a lovely golden color, no longer the terrifying blood red they had once been. It was a sign, I thought, that he was ready to start working his way back into society. Carlisle disagreed vehemently, but I could see the longing in his eyes. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You should at least visit your father," I insisted one snowy evening. The cold was getting to be too bitter for me to stay out for long, and so our visits were growing more and more sparse to my dismay. Even the blankets and pillows I had brought to the small cave to help brighten the space could do little to chase the chill. Carlisle, however, seemed unaffected by the cold. Despite the many doublets and jerkins that I had brought, he tended to remain in just an undershirt and breeches, occasionally supplementing the look with one of his favored collars or cravats. The ribbon that had helped lead me to him and later returned when it had been cleaned of blood was always a part of his ensemble, tying back his golden hair./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Lore, we've been over this before."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He's not doing well," I said grimly, watching Carlisle flinch. I knew he loved his father, and to think of him as anything but healthy had to be painful. "A few days left at most. He hardly recognizes me anymore."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Ah." Carlisle looked to the floor. "I'm sorry."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You could go at night. No one needs to know."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""But-"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I don't want you to regret this for the rest of your life," I insisted. "I'll be there with you to make sure nothing happens."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""...alright," Carlisle finally muttered. "I'll come."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"And so, a few hours later, I met Carlisle at the edge of the city, walking him down the streets that he hadn't seen in months and keeping a careful eye on his strained expression./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""How is he?" Carlisle finally asked when we had made it back to the house./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Not good," I admitted. "He refused to eat dinner. Papa came over to do his rites before going out on another hunt."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'm sure Father Bennet will be fine," Carlisle reassured me, noticing how I chewed the inside of my cheek and reaching out to brush a thumb across my face./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You were lucky enough to find a real vampire nest."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Yes, well... I doubt that anything has changed since I left, and my situation was... a fluke."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""It was you being thorough. As always." I allowed a small smile to touch my lips. "Let's go say hello to your father, why don't we?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He nodded, following me up the stairs. I knocked gently at the door. "Father Cullen. There's someone to see you."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"There was a snort, as if he'd just begun to fall asleep, and then his raspy voice responded. "Come in. Who is it?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I opened the door, lighting the lantern. "It's just me, Father. I brought Carlisle."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Carlisle?" He looked around, as if forgetting he couldn't see. "Huh. You know, Cecily wants to name our son Carlisle. Unique name, I thought./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"My heart plummeted as I saw the dismay on Carlisle's face. I'd grown used to Father Cullen's ailing memory, grown used to him not recalling who I was, but for Carlisle... I couldn't imagine the pain. Even so, he didn't react, instead sitting at the chair on the bedside and reaching out to take his father's soft, wrinkled hand. If Father Cullen thought the chill was unusual, he didn't say anything./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I've never met another soul with my name. Your son would be lucky to bear it."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Hm." Father Cullen patted Carlisle's hand absently, mulling over his words./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Can you... can you tell me about your wife?" Carlisle prompted tentatively when he didn't say more, and a sort of peace smoothed Father Cullen's features, his milky eyes glazing over as he recalled his early memories of Cecily Cullen. I hovered in the doorway for a moment, but Carlisle was engrossed in his father's tales, and so I quietly slipped away to give them some privacy. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Well over an hour had passed when Carlisle finally joined me in the kitchen, where I sat with a warm cup of tea./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Are you alright?" I asked, voice soft, and he nodded and sat across from me. He reached out, hands still warm from holding his father's, and cupped them around mine./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Thank you. For taking care of him when I couldn't. And... and for bringing me here."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I nodded, not wanting to speak for fear of breaking the strange, melancholy peace that had washed over him./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He never spoke about Mama after she passed," Carlisle murmured. "Their marriage was arranged, I knew that. Her parents were wealthy donors to the Church. But he'd loved her from the very start, he told me. Even before it was arranged. He said he had done everything he could to make sure everything worked in her favor, even forged some letters to my grandparents talking about how blessed a union it would be." His eyes, now faded to a warm bronze, stared unblinkingly at our clasped hands. "I shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't recognize me. You warned me."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I couldn't keep myself from offering a small piece of comfort. "You're still allowed to feel pain. It isn't his fault. He still loves you dearly, even if he can't remember right now. But that doesn't mean it can't still hurt."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He looked up at me, a forced smile on his lips. "I know. And it was... nice. To hear him speak about Mama like that. Despite everything, he seems happy, at least."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He stood, eyes flitting uncertainly towards the door, and I quickly got to my feet as well./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Stay?" I asked. "Just for the night. It's far more comfortable than your little cave."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He chuckled. "Despite all the efforts you've put in to make it more homely for me, I can't deny that you're right. I'll stay."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Thrilled, I rinsed my cup, putting out the lantern and leading Carlisle to his old room. He took a deep breath, scanning it. Many of his books and clothes were missing, currently waiting for him in his cave, and though there was no visible sign of my presence, I knew he could smell me lingering on every surface./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You've been staying in here."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Well, I'm hardly going to sleep on the bench in the kitchen," I scoffed. "Besides... It helps me feel a little less lonely. Miss you a little less."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again, a small smile gracing his lips as he surprised me and tugged me onto the bed, pulling me close. A lump rose in the back of my throat at the unexpected proximity./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Just like old times," I forced out, trying to remain casual. I prayed that I didn't make the wrong move, triggering his thirst and forcing him away from me as had happened so many times before./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Just like old times," he agreed, reaching out to brush a lock of hair from my eyes. "Breaking rules, left and right."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Unspoken rules, for his comfort, for my safety. I knew that was what he spoke of now, but I pushed him in a different direction./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""We always were a little rebellious. Imagine if my father knew we had ever been alone in a room together..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'm sure he suspects, but if he caught us..." Carlisle shivered. "I doubt he'd have been so generous with the time together he allotted us."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He pressed his lips to my forehead, then gazed at me, so close that our noses brushed. His scent washed over me, leaving me blinking, mind empty./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You have beautiful eyes," he murmured. "Such a warm brown color. And when the light hits them just right, they shine like polished bronze. I can see their depths so clearly now."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Flatterer," I breathed out, unable to come up with any other words. Carlisle laughed./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Only because you deserve it. I've never said an untrue word to you."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Then marry me," I said, heart picking up as the words flowed from my mouth unbidden. "You told me you would. And I know, so much has changed in the past few months. But that doesn't change how I feel about you. I still want our eternity."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I know. I know you do, my darling," Carlisle murmured. "I do, too. But... but there is so much to consider. Everyone thinks I died months ago, I can't simply return from the dead with golden eyes instead of blue and skin that shines in the sun. Not to mention that your father has never approved of me, a fact unlikely to change even if I rise from the grave."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He doesn't need to know," I said, a topic neither of us had ever broached, though it had lingered in the air every time we spoke of marrying. I sat up, pulling Carlisle with me and holding his hands tight between us. "We could do it tonight. God as our witness, or... Father Cullen knows the words well enough. I've heard him reciting them to himself, even with his memory half gone."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Now?" Carlisle looked surprised, but not, I was glad to see, opposed. "But what of your father?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""This isn't for him. It's for us."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"A small smile toyed at the corner of his lips. "And even though I'm... this..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""That has never mattered to me. You know that."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Well then, I can hardly say no, can I?" He pressed his lips to the back of my hands, eyes still trained on mine. "I did make you a promise, after all."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Reluctant to wake Father Cullen for our own impulsivity, Carlisle and I instead remained tangled together in his bed until my eyes had drifted shut, against my wishes, only to open again when the sun had risen. Carlisle hadn't left my arms, watching me sleep with a softness in his eyes that I had missed seeing. I automatically smiled, reaching out to trace his icy lips. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You don't have cold feet, do you?" he asked, and though I was tempted to tease him about the state of his own very much emfreezing /emfeet, I shook my head./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Is he awake?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He is," Carlisle confirmed./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I should make breakfast, then." I reluctantly rolled from the mattress, selecting a lavender gown from the bags I had stored under the bed. I hadn't undressed last night, distracted by Carlisle's willingness to be in such close proximity to me, so while I was already regretting that decision, sore from the hours spent in the many underpinnings I wore, dressing was much less time consuming than it typically was. Carlisle had respectfully left the room with his own change of clothes when he'd realized my intentions, and I found him again in the kitchen, handing me a cup of tea./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Thank you," I murmured, dancing about the kitchen to prepare a simple meal of bread and butter, a sprinkle of sage on top-just how Father Cullen liked it. He claimed that sage sharpened the wits, and while I wasn't sure there was any credence to that declaration, I wasn't about to deny an old man his superstitions. My stomach fluttered with nerves as Carlisle and I both made our way up to his father's room, knocking and entering./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Lorelle? Is that you, child?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"My heart leapt into my chest. Was this a good day for the Father? It had been ages since he'd last called me by my name. Perhaps Papa had been ahead of himself, performing his last rights the prior evening. "It is, Father," I replied, setting his breakfast tray on his lap and wrapping his hands around his tea. "Carlisle is here as well."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Carlisle?" His eyes landed on Carlisle's form in the doorway, hovering hesitantly. Clear recognition at the name sent relief soaring through me. Perhaps Carlisle's farewell to his father wouldn't need to be tarnished by his failing memory after all. "Come here, boy. Can't see so well anymore."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Of course, Father," Carlisle said, a tremor in his voice. I wondered if Father Cullen could hear the difference from his human voice, but if he could, he said nothing./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""How are your studies?" Father Cullen asked, gripping his tea in one hand and patting Carlisle's cheek with the other./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Very good," Carlisle assured him. He sat tentatively on the very edge of the mattress./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Good. You'll be taking over the parish soon enough."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Oh, don't-"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Shush, boy. I'm old. I've lived my life, and I'm ready. Are you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Carlisle swallowed, glancing at me. In his eyes, I could see a young boy's fear, fear of losing his only remaining parent. "I..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""You'll have to be."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'll do my best."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I know you will. Treat your Lorelle right, will you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Of course," he replied immediately, eyes flicking to me. "I couldn't dream of doing any less. She deserves the world."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""And Lorelle? You'll keep an eye on him?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"I took a few steps forward, joining Carlisle at the side of the Father's bed. "I will," I swore. "I promise I'll take care of him. I love him too much to let him get in his own head."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Father Cullen smiled at that, reaching for his glass of water. "Good, good… I always knew it would be the two of you against the world. You'll need each other. Don't ever forget that."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"His words seemed as good a segue as any, and Carlisle cleared his throat nervously. "Father, can... can I ask a favor of you?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"He scoffed. "I'm not in much shape to do much."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I know. It isn't much. Can... can you marry us? Lorelle and me?"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Marry you?" Father Cullen squinted at me. "Surely Father Bennett would be better suited..."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He hasn't given his blessing," I said softly. "And I doubt he ever will. But... Carlisle is the only one for me, Father. I'm more than willing to risk my own father's anger for my love for your son."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Well then. I would love nothing more."/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The makeshift ceremony, simple in every way, was still more than I could have ever asked for. Father Cullen took his time leading us through our vows, having to take several breaks to breathe and gather himself, but neither Carlisle or I minded. Nerves had long since given way to excitement, and as finally we kissed each other as husband and wife, I felt a sort of peace wash over me. After so much gone wrong in the past few months, this, at least, was right. If nothing else, then at least Carlisle and I would spend our lives side by side as we'd always dreamed./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Not long after finishing our marriage rites, Father Cullen fell asleep again. Though once I might have itched to celebrate, I knew I couldn't leave Father Cullen alone for long, and instead, Carlisle and I spent the next few hours quietly discussing our plans for the coming months. Staying in London was, unfortunately, not an option if Carlisle was to integrate back into living amongst humans, let alone living with me, and while we wouldn't leave quite yet, there were still preparations to be made./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Near midday, Carlisle glanced towards his father's room, and I felt a rock settle in my chest at his expression./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Is he-"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""His heart is slowing," Carlisle murmured. In a rare display of his abilities, he seemed to vanish, a mere blur as he ran to his father's side. I felt my eyes burn, but I quickly bit back the tears, hesitantly trailing after my husband. I leaned against the doorway, breath caught in my chest. For all the strength and clarity Father Cullen had shown this morning, he clearly was very near death. Eyes half open and glassy, breathing labored, I knew there was no coming back from this. Carlisle knew, as well, quietly reciting his last rites. It was a habit, I was sure. And perhaps a reassurance, considering my own father had performed them nearly a full day ago now./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"As I watched, Father Cullen's labored breaths slowly stilled, and Carlisle's shoulders slumped, a murmured, "Goodbye, Papa," slipping through his lips. Unable to hold my tears back any longer, I finally stepped into the room, wrapping my arms around my husband's back, pressing my face to his shoulder./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""He's gone," he said, words strangled./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'm sorry," I whispered, squeezing him tighter as his body began to shake with sobs, though no tears fell from his face. My chest ached, and though I wished I could ease his pain, I knew there was nothing I could do. And so instead, I held him, the two of us mourning his father as one./p