Chapter 3: Unwanted
All that I did was walk over, start off by shakin' your hands
That's how it went
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
Oh, yeah, yeah
I wanted to know you, I wanted to show you
You don't know me, don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
Make me go away
(That I'm so unwanted)
No, I just don't understand why you won't talk to me
It hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing
Don't talk words against me
I wanted to know you, I wanted to show you
You don't know me, don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
Make me go away
Make me go away
I tried to belong, it didn't seem wrong
My head aches
It's been so long, I'll write this song
If that's what it takes
You don't know me, don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
Make me go away
You don't know me, don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
Make me go away
Make me go away
Make me go away
(Unwanted, Avril Lavigne)
I tossed and turned all night on the hardwood floor in an empty room separate from the one the Baudelaires stayed in. There was only one bed for the four of us to share but because Count Olaf saw that Klaus and I had a connection, he did whatever he could to separate us. There was a fence around one side of the room and Count Olaf forced me to sleep there, separate from the Baudelaires.
"What are we going to do?" Violet asked. "This isn't a home. Not even close."
"It's way too dirty," Klaus said. "We don't even have a proper bed to sleep in."
"Clack," Sunny said which Klaus explained meant, "And the only entertainment we have are rocks."
"We have Jane," Violet said. "A new friend. I'm sorry you have to sleep there. You'd better stay there. You don't want to make him mad. Besides, you're not separate from us."
"Intro," Sunny said. "Good to meet you Jane."
"Sunny's right," Violet said. "We haven't been able to properly get to know you. I'm Violet. This is Klaus. And our sister Sunny."
"Hello," Klaus said, glancing over at me briefly before returning to stare at the pile of rubble behind me.
"Hello," Sunny said and crawled over to grasp my hand and bite it gently.
"That means she likes you," Klaus said. "We all do…um yeah…we're your new friends."
"We're lucky not to be in it alone," Violet said. "It's unfortunate that you had to come with us. He's not your relative is he?"
"No he's not," I said. "Mr. Poe just sent me with you because he thought you'd be better role models to me."
"What did you do wrong, Jane?" Klaus asked.
"Nothing, I swear," I said, looking at each of them in fear that they would suddenly believe I was an arsonist. "You have to believe me. It wasn't me."
"Yes," Violet said. "Like I said. It was impossible for anyone of your age to set. It was an expert arsonist. We know you were locked in the shed. You look innocent Jane. We'd never believe it."
"Oh, thank you," I said and I stepped out of the fence to give Violet a hug. I stayed where I was, deciding it would be better to be as close to the Baudelaires as possible.
"Who's Carmelita Spats?" Klaus asked.
"She's the bully who locked me in the shed," I said. "It was her fault."
"Gruel," Sunny said and I was beginning to pick up on what she meant: "She sounds awful."
"I'm sorry that happened to you," Violet said.
"I'm sorry for what happened to you," I said.
"How did you survive?" Klaus asked as I sat down on the bed next to him.
"I don't know," I said, "Everything burned but me."
"If only that could have happened to our parents," Violet said. "That doesn't make much sense."
"I can't explain it either," I said. "A miracle, I suppose."
"A big one," Klaus said. "That gives us hope. If that miracle could happen to you then a miracle could happen to us and we need it."
"It got me kicked out of school," I said. "They think I did it."
"Huh," Sunny said, meaning, "That's ridiculous!"
"Well, of course you didn't do it. You're an innocent child, not an arsonist. Carmelita couldn't have done it either. But she locked you in the shed."
"Sarry," Sunny shrieked. "If not her then who?"
"I don't know," I said, "It's a mystery. I still felt like I was burning but I survived it."
"Oh no," Klaus said. "That was definitely a miracle. But who could have saved you? You were able to get out. Someone put out the fire right."
I nodded. "It was burning—I was. Then suddenly it stopped." A tear escaped from my eyes. "I thought I was going to die for sure but I saw something outside of the shed after it burned to a crisp. It was a tall man with a long beard and half-moon spectacles holding out what looked like a wand." I stopped, watching their reactions.
Klaus stared at me in awe. "That's sounds like something out of a book," he said. "You saw Gandalf maybe. But Gandalf isn't real. Could it have been an hallucination?"
"Maybe," I said. "But I've never had one before. There's something else that I haven't told you." I looked down as I spoke.
"Time for chores orphans," Count Olaf hollered from outside the room.
We exchanged worried glances before Count Olaf could enter and then got up to exit the room. Count Olaf stared down at me with a peculiar shiny gaze like I was a prize.
"Wait just a minute," he said. "You can't be Jane Rumary."
"I am," I said. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You remind me of someone I used to know," he said. He ran his hands together like I was a shiny object he was about to grab. "You must be."
"I don't know you," I said. "I'm Jane Rumary."
He stared at me again and then blinked. "Of course you are. Mr. Poe wouldn't tell me a thing about your family."
"Because I don't have one," I said.
"Huh," he said. "I suppose they all died just like you almost did. Just like their parents."
"Don't speak against our parents," Klaus said.
Count Olaf stared at Klaus like he wanted to hit him and I quickly stood in front of him.
"Don't touch him," I said.
Count Olaf stared at me like he was debating whether he should hit me instead and I waited for him to strike but after a moment he paused.
"Consider it a warning," he said. "You have plenty of chores to get done. Today you'll have to prepare dinner for me and my theater troupe. They're coming and they expect a great meal made by miserable orphans. Here's some money. It's valuable but it's not yours. You can only spend it on food. Hurry up! Get moving!"
"None of us knows how to cook," Klaus said bravely.
"Ask your friend," Count Olaf sneered. "If she light a fire, she can cook."
"She didn't light the fire," Violet said.
"Then how did the whole forest burn down?"
I looked at the Baudelaires fearfully.
Count Olaf threw his head back and laughed. "Of course you didn't set the fire," he said. "I know you're too weak to cause that kind of fire and to yourself. You would make a good candidate to joining my associates. They're just as bad as you."
"She's not a bad person," Klaus said.
"What do you know, bookworm?" he said. "You just met her. She's even an actor just like me. Now go before I teach all of you some good discipline. Don't disappoint. We'll be waiting for you. Oh, and Jane, Mr. Poe told me you're an excellent singer. You'll be our entertainment, orphan."
Count Olaf emitted an evil laugh. "You're just lucky that fire didn't kill you," he said before he left to walk down the hall and up to his tower room. "Don't come up here Baudelaires, Rumary. It's forbidden."
"I wish our parents were here," Violet said when Count Olaf was out of earshot.
"They would never let us stay in this dreadful place."
"If they were here," Klaus said, as he hid his face as tears fell from his eyes. His voice was higher pitched in his despair. "We would not be with Count Olaf in the first place. I hate it here, Violet! I hate this house! I hate our room! I hate having to do all these chores, and I hate Count Olaf!"
"I hate it too," Violet said. "I hate everything about our lives right now, Klaus. Except Jane of course.
"Thanks," I said. "We shouldn't give in to hate though. Hate will only weaken us."
"Jane's right," Violet said, "Like our father said, we have to keep our chins up."
"You're right," Klaus said. "But it is very difficult to keep one's chin up when Count Olaf keeps shoving it down."
"I think I know what we could make for dinner," I said. "A spaghetti dish. Spaghetti is easy."
"You cook Jane?" Klaus asked.
"No," I said, "But when I lived with my Headmistress I used to watch her cook pasta puttanesca."
"That's great Jane," Klaus said. "We would need to use a cookbook and read more about how to cook. It shouldn't be that difficult to make a simple meal."
"We shouldn't bother looking here for it," I said. "He clearly doesn't read or have any books or we would have seen one by now. Besides the cupboards are too dirty and gross to look through."
"I know," Klaus said sadly. "I miss reading very much. We must go out and look for a library sometime soon."
"But not today," Violet said. "Today we have to cook for ten people."
Before more could be said, there was a knock on the front door.
"I'll answer it," I said, bravely. I was ready to protect the Baudelaires at all costs and I didn't care as much if I was hurt instead.
"No, Jane," Violet said, "I'll answer. We care about you. You don't have to be so brave."
Klaus was staring at me sadly as we walked downstairs to the front door.
"Who in the world would want to visit Count Olaf?" Violet wondered out loud.
"Maybe somebody wants to visit us," Klaus said, his hope waning.
Violet looked through the peephole.
"It's Justice Strauss," she announced and opened the door.
"Justice Strauss!" Violet cried when she came into view.
"It's good to see you," I said. Neither of us invited her inside the wretched house.
"Please forgive me for not stopping by sooner," Justice Strauss said while we stood uncomfortably in the doorway. "I wanted to see how you children were settling in, but I had a very difficult case in the High Court and it was taking up much of my time."
"What sort of case was it?" Klaus asked.
"I can't really discuss it," Justice Strauss said, "because it's official business. But I can tell you it concerns a poisonous plant and illegal use of someone's credit card."
"Yeeka!" Sunny shrieked, which Klaus explained meant, "How interesting!"
Justice Strauss stared down at Sunny with a soft laugh. "Yeeka indeed," she said, put a gentle hand on Sunny's head.
Sunny bit Justice Strauss' hand like she bit mine.
"She did that to me too," I said. "Violet said that means she likes you."
Violet nodded. "She bites very, very hard if she doesn't like you," she said, "or if you want to give her a bath."
"I see," Justice Strauss said. "Now then, how are you children getting on? Is there anything you desire? Jane I heard you love to sing. Too bad Count Olaf doesn't seem to have any musical instruments."
"Could we perhaps borrow a cookbook?" Klaus asked. "Count Olaf has instructed us to make dinner for his theater troupe tonight, and we can't find a cookbook in the house."
"We want to make a pasta dish," I said.
"I could help you," she said. "Cooking dinner for an entire theater troupe seems like a lot to ask of children."
"Count Olaf gives us a lot of responsibility," Violet said, gritting her teeth.
"I have to perform for them too," I said. "Even though I don't want to do it."
"Well, why don't you come next door to my house," Justice Strauss said, "and find a cookbook that pleases you? And a piano so Jane can rehearse a song. Do you know how to play?"
"Yes," I said. "I learned on my own with a music book while everyone was at recess. I know the guitar too."
Klaus was staring at me with a sparkle in his eyes. "Jane is very talented," he said.
"We just met her," Violet said, "but we already love her."
"Wonderful," she said, "Come, children."
We followed Justice Strauss out the door and across the street to her pretty, neat house. We entered a beautiful hallway lined with flowers into an enormous library. My heart soared with delight at all the books and I turned to see Klaus wearing a similar expression except he was staring at me, watching my expression.
"It's cold tonight, hurts to the touch
I'd say it's fine, but I miss you too much
We're still so young, but old enough
To fully grasp the gravity of love
I feel so helpless that I can't control how
Your heart is feeling, but I think I just figured it out
I feel so human that it just might break me down
And bring us back again
Cause we're moving at the same speed
And we're reaching for the same thing
We're like two in one, like the moon and the sun
And life is full of things we can't control
But the beauty lies, in finding someone wonderful
Like a full eclipse perfectly aligned, we just fit together
Sometimes we bleed, sometimes we cry
That's how we know that we're still alive
Stand next to me, lay by my side
We won't play victim to the rising tide."
(Fit Together, Augustana)
He beamed. "You're a reader too, are you?" he asked.
"Yes, I am," I said. "I read when everyone was at recess too."
"Me too," Klaus said. "I read in the middle of recess. That was the sea the books helped save me from. I didn't have any friends."
"Me neither," I said. "I had books."
"But you need more than books as a friend," he said, still staring at me.
"You want to be friends?" I asked, nervously.
He nodded. "Let's be friends Jane. I know it's a dark time but you're the light for me. You're my new friend Jane. I've never had a friend before."
"I had one other friend," I said. "But we weren't at school together. Let's be friends."
"We're your friend too," Violet said.
"Frendy," Sunny screeched in excitement. Violet explained she meant, "I love you Jane. Let's be friends."
"I'm glad to see you're all getting along," Justice Strauss. "It will make your situation less dark."
"This is a wonderful library, Justice Strauss," Violet said, changing the topic as she surveyed her collection.
"Thank you very much," Justice Strauss said. "I've been collecting books for years, and I'm very proud of my collection. As long as you keep them in good condition, you are welcome to use any of my books, at any time. Now, the cookbooks are over here on the eastern wall. Shall we have a look at them?"
"Yes," Violet said, "and then, if you don't mind, I should love to look at any of your books concerning mechanical engineering. Inventing things is a great interest of mine."
"And I would like to look at books on science," Klaus said. "Recently I have been fascinated by the subject of wild animals of North America ever since I watched Planet Life."
"I'd like to read a mystery book," I said. "I've heard Pretty Little Liars is a good series."
"I love Young Adult books too," Klaus said. "I read every kind of book. I'd like to read them as well. With Jane."
"Book!" Sunny shrieked, which meant "Please don't forget to pick out a picture book for me."
Justice Strauss beamed at us "I'm glad to see you all love reading," she said. "Before we get to that we must pick out a recipe from my cookbooks."
We all nodded in agreement and looked through several cookbooks until I found a recipe for Spaghetti and Meatballs with the sauce and meatballs made from scratch.
"You're an expert Jane," Klaus said. "You saved us. We don't know how to cook. It's a simple recipe. Perfect for our first time."
"All we need to do is sauté garlic, chopped parsley, yellow onion, and diced tomatoes together in a pot, and prepare spaghetti. Then we need to ball up pork into meatballs and cook them in a pan with the sautéd sauce."
"That's simple," Violet said. "Thank you Jane. You can be our head chef."