Chapter 16: Stephano
I watched Sunny's eyes close and her face expressionless. Then she smiled wide and bit the Incredibly Deadly Viper on its scaly nose. The snake let go of her chin and there was no mark visible. I looked from Violet and Klaus to Uncle Monty and he burst out laughing.
"Oh no!" I cried.
"What do we do, Uncle Monty?" Klaus said.
Oh, I'm sorry, my dears," Uncle Monty said, and wiped his eyes. "I know you must be frightened but the Incredibly Deadly Viper is one of the least dangerous and is very friendly. There is nothing to worry about for Sunny. Neither do you."
"Thank goodness," I said and watched Sunny in Klaus' arms playing with the Incredibly Deadly Viper.
"But then why is it called the Incredibly Deadly Viper?" Klaus asked.
Uncle Monty chuckled. "It's a misnomer," he said,"I discovered it so I got to name it. "It's a secret. I'm going to present it to the Herpetological Society and scare them before explaining that the snake it completely harmless! They've teased me many times because of my name. They say, Hello hello, Montgomery Montgomery.' 'How are you how are you, Montgomery Montgomery?' However the year I'm going to get back at them with this prank.
He shifted to his full height and spoke in a scientific voice:
"'Colleagues,' here is the Incredibly Deadly Viper that I found in the southwest forest of-Oh no! It's escaped. Then when they've jumped up on chairs and tables in fear I'll tell them that the snake is harmless. Won't that be hilarious?"
I looked at Klaus shyly and then at Violet who were both laughing softly at Uncle Monty's prank.
"Do you have dangerous snakes?" Violet asked.
I looked around warily and then at Violet who put a hand on my shoulder in comfort.
"Yes," he said. "You can't study snakes for forty years without encountering some dangerous ones. I have a cabinet of venom samples from every poisonous snake known to people to study how these snakes work. I have a snake with a venom so deadly that your heart would stop before you knew he'd bitten you. I have a snake that could swallow all of us in one gulp. They are all locked up with sturdier locks. If you learn the facts no harm will come to you here in the Reptile Room."
I looked around and my momentary anxiety drifted away. I gasped Klaus' hand tighter and he gave me a smile.
"After surviving that fire you must not be afraid of anything," he said. "We can trust that Uncle Monty will keep us safe."
"Let's go to your rooms," Uncle Monty said. "I'll show you and you can choose your favorite."
"Sounds great!" I said, as it took my mind off my fear of the snakes. We followed Uncle Monty out the large doors and to the enormous staircase in front of the house. We headed up the stairs and I immediately caught sight of a room with a piano pushed against the wall.
"If you don't mind," I said. "Could this be my room?"
"Why yes of course, Jane," he said. "Unless…your friends want it."
But Violet and Klaus already were staring fixedly at one of the rooms. Violet looked at a room that had a large window and large pieces of paper tacked to the wall for inventions and Klaus was peering into a room with an alcove for reading.
"We're all set," Violet said. "You love music. You should have the piano."
"Can I visit?" Klaus asked and then went pink.
"Anytime," I said.
That night I was in my room sitting on my bed and admiring the posters of Broadway shows hanging on my room's walls. There was a knock on my door and I went to answer it.
Klaus stood there even more pink than earlier today.
"I can't sleep," he said. "I can't stop worrying about Count Olaf."
"Come in," I said. I walked back over to my bed and sat down. I patted the spot beside me and Klaus sat down.
"We've never really talked one on one," he said. "In a while. Actually this is the first time we're alone."
"I'm glad we are," I said. "I'm glad everything worked out that we could be in a happy home and together. I haven't been in a happy home. Madame Bovary was nice to me but she wasn't my real mother."
"I'm still not over losing my parents," Klaus said. "No one can replace them. We knew our parents though and you didn't. It's just as bad. For different reasons. I wish you would have known your parents. You didn't have a good time at your boarding school did you?"
"No," I said. "I had to do chores in order to remain a student and this girl named Carmelita Spats was my roommate. She made my life miserable and is the reason I got kicked out."
"I'm sorry," Klaus said. "I'm sorry you had to do chores. That's no way to be treated."
"There's something I have to tell you," I said. "Something I've kept to myself. Before we met I witnessed the fire that destroyed your home. I ran into a man named Monty Kensicle. He must have been a friend of your parents and he told me I had a mission to save us all from our circumstances. I didn't know what he meant then but after Count Olaf I do. Before Count Olaf escaped he threatened he would be after us if it was the last thing he ever did. I'm afraid of what he said. I don't know if he'll come back."
"That's a lot to take," Klaus said. "Well you did save us. Yourself. You and Violet did. There's no sign of him. Uncle Monty knows about him and will keep us safe. Let's focus on our life here and forget the past. It's not the future."
He took my hand.
"What does this make us?" he asked.
"I don't know," I said. "Friends who really like each other."
"Yeah," he smiled. "Friends."
"I've never had a friend I've cared this much about," I said. "I know there are worries but with you I'm better off."
"I wish we could have met under better circumstances," he said. He stared at me, at my bow-shaped lips. I leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Do you want to try your piano?"
"Sure," I said and I walked over to the bench to sit down. I ran my fingers along the keys and then began to play:
Just a day, just an, ordinary day
Just tryin' to get by
Just a boy, just an, ordinary boy but
He was looking to the sky and
As he asked if I would come along
I started to realize that everyday he finds just what he's lookin' for
And like a shooting star he shines, and he said
Take my hand, live while you can,
Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand
And as he spoke, he spoke, ordinary words
Though they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
And you'd swear those words could heal and
As I looked up into those eyes, his vision borrows mine
And I know he's no stranger
For I feel I've held him for all of time, and he said
Please come with me, see what I see
Touch the stars for time will not flee
Time will not flee, can't you see
Just a dream, just an, ordinary dream
As I wake in bed
And that boy, that ordinary boy
Was it all in my head?
Didn't he ask if I would come along
It all seemed so real, but as I looked to the door
I saw that boy standing there with a deal, and he said
Please come with me, see what I see
Touch the stars for time will not flee
Time will not flee, can't you see
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just tryin' to get by
Just a boy, just an ordinary boy, but
He was looking to the sky
"My turn," Klaus said and I smiled as I let Klaus sit at the piano and watched him play.
Halfway around the world
Lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
The first thing that arises in your mind while you awake
Is bending you til you break
Let me hold you now
Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Baby don't forget
We haven't lost it all yet
Don't know what your made of
Til the one thing that you want
Id coming with the dawn and suddenly changes
Monday, syndicate meets everyone the same
But all we've lost to the flame
Listen to me now
Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Don't ever forget
We haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure
Is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget
We haven't lost it all yet
Someday when this is over
We may still have no answer
For now it's when I hold her
We are closer, we are closer
We are closer, we are closer
Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Don't ever forget
We haven't lost it all yet
And all we know for sure
Is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget
We haven't lost it all yet
We are closer
We are closer
(We haven't lost it all yet)
Now we are closer
(We haven't lost it all yet)
We are closer
The following week was spent in the Reptile Room preparing for Peru. Violet worked on the snake traps and Klaus read up on terrain while I sat in a chair next to Sunny strumming the guitar as she bit rope into tiny pieces. At the end of each session we ate supper and went to the movies. The time was full of bliss and Klaus continued to visit me in my room to play the piano and I visited his room to read a book in its alcove. It carried on for a week with my worries about Count Olaf disappearing.
Then one morning we found a note from Uncle Monty instead saying he was buying supplies and that Gustav's replacement would arrive.
"I'm enjoying living with Uncle Monty," Klaus mused. "I hope this continues."
"I hope the replacement is just as great," I said.
"Me too," Violet said. "I'm happy here. I know our parents are gone but I'm at peace."
"I miss them," Klaus said. "Jane was there. She told me."
"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," I said. "It was too dangerous to run in and save them. They were already gone."
"Oh my Jane," Violet said. "You saw it? Why didn't you tell us?"
"I didn't know how to," I said. "There was a lot going on."
"No one survived?" she asked.
"No," I said, "I'm sorry."
"I'm hoping we can miss them without being miserable," Violet said.
"Remember when we painted our toe nails red when we were bored?"
"Yes I do," Violet said with a grin. "I remember spilling some on the yellow chair. The stain never really came out."
"What happy memories do you have?" Klaus asked.
"Not many," I said. "Madame Bovary was nice. I remember my birthday when I was given a cardboard cut out of a birthday cake. It was a prank from Carmelita."
"That's not very happy," Violet said.
"I can't believe you painted your nails," I said to Klaus with a laugh.
He blushed. "I did. Red."
I laughed again.
"Hiluo!" Sunny shrieked, meaning, "It was quite funny."
I heard a car pull up to the front of the house and hurried to the door with the Baudelaires. I opened the door and stepped outside.
"That must be the new assistant," Klaus said. "I hope he's nice."
I saw a taxi parked near the snake-shaped hedges and I saw Klaus frown at the vehicle as the occupant stepped out. It was a tall man with a long beard and no eyebrows over his eyes. He got out of the backseat and carried a black suitcase with a shiny silver padlock.
"I will most certainly not give you a tip," the man hollered at the cab driver, "You talk too much about your new baby. Oh, hello, I am Stephano, Dr. Montgomery's new assistant. How do you do?"
"How do you do?" Violet said.
"How do you do?" Klaus said.
"Hooda!" Sunny shrieked.
I stared at the man as I began to speak and my breath caught. It was not just any man and my fears were realized. It was none other than Count Olaf in disguise.