KATNISS
Shoving past the last few people milling about the entry away I flee out the door into the cool evening. As I burst through the door, a man blonde man dressed all in black startles from where he stands, leaning against the wall. "Ms. Everdeen!" he exclaims in surprise. "I can I help you with something?" he asks, moving towards me.
I blink back tears and swallow hard. "I need to get to my hotel. How do I do that?" I ask.
"Yes, Miss. I'm one of your drivers this evening, I'd be happy to take you anywhere you want to go. Are we waiting for the rest of your party?" he asks, glancing at the door.
I shake my head. "No, it's just me. Is that okay?"
"Of course, Miss," he answers formally. "The car is down the block, I'll retrieve it and return for you."
"That isn't necessary, I'll walk with you," I state, desperate to get away house and all the questions lurking within.
"If you'd like," he agrees, heading off into the night.
We're only 500 feet from the front door when I hear Gale calling out my name. When I don't stop, I hear his boots grind in the gravel as he runs to catch up with me. With his long gait, it only takes a second before he's standing in front of me. "What happened? Where are you going?" he demands, concern clear on his face.
"I'm going home…back to the hotel," I state.
A hand goes to my arm. "What happened?" he asks again, this time with more suspicion.
"Everything okay, Ms. Everdeen?" the driver asks.
"I'm on her protection detail," Gale growls looking at the man.
I yank my arm from his grasp and level my eyes at him, "Your services aren't needed, Captain. I'm just going back to the hotel. Please go back inside," I state coolly before stepping around him and heading towards the open car door and my driver. Undeterred, Gale follows me. "What are you doing," I sigh, exasperated.
"Going with you," he states matter of factly.
I shake my head, "No. Go back inside. I …. I just need to be alone right now," I grind out. Beelining it for the open car door, I give my driver a nod and he leaves to get behind the wheel.
"What happened," Gale asks for the third time.
I pause in the v-shaped space that the body of the car and it's opened door makes. "Nothing you would understand, but you really need to know, go back inside. I'm sure someone can fill you in." I, then slide into the back seat.
Gale clinches the door frame in a fist. "Why are you pushing me away," he demands.
I give him an exasperated look. "This isn't about you," I snort yanking the door from his grasp. The door slams shut, but Gale continues staring at me through the pane of glass that now separates us. I can see confusion and a touch of anger on his features. "Can we go please," I numbly ask the driver.
"As you wish Ms. Everdeen," he returns, and with that, we are pulling away from the curb and heading into the night.
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PEETA
I'm picking my way through the crowd heading for the conservatory when Johanna appears at my side.
"Whoa! Who pissed you off," she asks, taking a sip from a champagne flute in her hand.
"Have you seen Tova?" I grunt, scanning the room and hordes before me.
"Uh oh, trouble in paradise?" she taunts.
I glare at her, "Not now Johanna," I grind out.
She eyes me closely for a second, then nods her expression changing to a more serious one. "Two sets of eyes are better than one," she offers. The two of us scan the room in silence. "There is she is," Johanna says subtly pointing to the back corner. "She looks pretty upset," she adds. I sigh but square my shoulders and turn toward the sad woman in her roommate's arms. Johanna places a hand on my forearm, "You want back up?" she asks.
"It's probably best I talk to her alone," I respond, patting Johanna's hand affectionally. "I'll be back," I say and head off across the room.
"I want details later," Johanna calls after me.
Tova's red eyes filled with fresh tears upon spotting my approach and she buries her face in Jeromy's chest. A pang of pity settles in my stomach. I'm upset, yes, but it bothers me to see her so upset. Stopping awkwardly, I rub a hand over my forehead. "Can we talk?" I ask gently, pointing to the door with an illuminated exit sign above it.
Pulling away from Jeromy's grasp, Tova runs a hand under her nose and sniffs. "Yes," she musters. Jeromy takes her hand, "You don't have to go if you don't want to," I tell her.
I level my gaze at Jeromy, then turn it to Tova, "Jeromy's right, you don't have to come outside with me, but we will discuss this. Whether it's right here or in private is up to you," I state evenly.
Tova takes her friend's hand, "I guess things ended up the way you predicted" she says through a watery smile. Jeromy looked pained by the comment. "I owe him an explanation," she manages, her voice quivering with emotion. He gives her a long look before giving her hand a squeeze and letting go. "I'll be right here when you're ready to go," he tells her.
I give her friend a reassuring nod hoping he knows I that I have no intention of causing further harm. Placed a guiding hand on Tova's shoulder I gently lead her through the exit. Through the door, we find ourselves on a stone porch that's very similar to the one on my house in Victor's Village house except it's huge. The space is dark except for a patch of moonlit stone near the banister. I take a moment to do a sweep of the immediate area to ensure we are alone before turning to face Tova. I take a deep breath then ask the only question I can. "Why would you keep something like this for me?"
Even in the dim moonlight, I can see her eyes are glistening with tears. "Because I was scared," she sniffs.
I shake my head, "I'm gonna need more than that Tova," I press.
Swatting at a tear, she moves to stand in the moonlight at the banister. Gazing out across the manicured lawn, she seems to be putting her thoughts in order so I wait quietly for her. "Peeta, I spent months in that hospital with you and I saw how you dismissed every single person who had anything to do with Games. You refused to be in the same room with your first psychologist when you found out his brother-in-law had been an assistant to a game maker," she sighs. Visibly swallowing, she turns to face me. "I was in the Capitol working for the games during Quarter Quell," she admits.
My eyes go wide, "Thought you came once the rebels took the Capitol. How…why…" I stammer through my shock.
"Why? Because I was a fool, that's why," she snorts throwing her hands in the air. "As a kid, I dreamt only of following in my famous uncle Cinna's footsteps. I used to get in trouble in school for doodling designs in my textbooks since it was the only paper I could readily get my hands on. Fashion was my passion," she sighs. "For years my family, especially Cinna, did everything in their power to discourage me but I couldn't be dissuaded," she bitterly laughs. "When my teacher told me that the textile contest that Cinna had won years before was once again running our district, I snuck behind everyone's back and entered. It wasn't until I was here," she says throwing her hand out to wave at the space in front of her, "That I realized that I was just a pawn, a tool, to make Cinna do what they wanted him to do."
Crossing the stone deck, I join her at the banister. I take in a long breath, "I can relate to having a passion," I admit thinking of my drive to create art as far back as I can remember, "And I know a little something about being a pawn as well." I respond, smiling softly at her. "But, Tova, I shared my experience with you, why didn't you think I would understand?" I ask gently.
"When I first meet you, I was a nurse assistant on the ward, there to help, it wouldn't have been appropriate for me to clear my conscience on you, it was my burden to carry so you could focus on getting better. Then when we became friends, I guess, I just wanted you to get the chance to get to really know me, the real me; not as your nurse nor the Capitol puppet. I had grown quite attached to you and I didn't think I could handle it if the only choice to be my friend because you felt you owed it to my uncle," she sniffs new tears clinging to her bottom lashes.
I consider her a moment. Hadn't I wanted the same thing? I had initially been to the fact she a stranger, someone I could choose to reveal myself to as I chose? She'd been my first real confidant, someone I never felt I couldn't share my honest thoughts with. How can I fault her for wanting to be in the same way? Then again, it's been a year. "We pasted the getting to know you phase of this friendship a long time ago Tov," I return.
A tear splashes down on her cheek from her lashes, "I was afraid, Peeta, so afraid of losing you. I lied for so long. How could I tell you that?" she cries.
"Oh, Tova," I sigh, gathering her into my arms. My heart clenching in my chest as small sobs racks her small frame. "I'm right here, I'm going anywhere," I whisper into her hair. I feel her arms tighten around my waist.
"Really?" she mumbles into my shirt.
"Really," I promise. "But I can't do secrets, I've had enough of that in my lifetime, okay?"
Loosening her grip on me a bit, she leans back to look me in the eyes, "Yeah, okay," she agrees with a sniff.
"Okay," I echo, giving her a smile. "And no more crying over this either," I say swiping a tear from her cheek.
She visibly swallows and tries to compose herself. "I should talk to Katniss," she declares.
That's a terrible idea, I think. "It would probably be best if I spoke with her first. She was very close with Cinna and she's gonna need some time to process," I explain.
"If you feel that's best," she concedes.
With one more reassuring hug and I pull away. "I think we probably should get back inside," I suggest, tossing my head towards the door.
Tova glance over at the entrance but doesn't move. "Thank you, for hearing me out," she says quietly, going up on tiptoes to place a kiss on my cheek. If this gesture startles, what happens next, nearly sends me sprawling to the floor. With her green eyes gazing up at me through her still damp lashes, she comes upon her toes again but this time places her lips to mine. The kiss is warm and chaste and shocks my whole nervous system into a tremble. Placing shaking hands on her shoulders, I put some space between us so I steady myself on my legs. A shy smiling plays on her full lips, "No more secrets," she says breathily. "I…like you Peeta. I've liked you for a while but wasn't sure if I should tell you," she admits nervously.
Oh boy! "T…Tova" I stammer, literally having no idea what to say in response.
She rushes to cover for my complete lack of words, "You…you don't have to say anything, I - just wanted you to know," she whispers, her cheeks blushing a pretty pink.
I nod numbly, not trusting any words that might try to leave my mouth. Tova fidgets a little the space of in my silence. "We…we should go inside," I finally manage to say.
She looks slightly disappointed in spite of her proclamation that I didn't have to respond. A knot ties in my gut but I don't know what else to do, so I chose to just usher her towards the entrance. I pull the door open for our admittance and music and light flood into the quiet of the night around us. Tova takes a step through the threshold but pauses and looks up at me. "Did I just break our…friendship?" she asks desperately.
My heart beats hard in my chest. "No, of course not," I respond, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I tell her gently, but even as the words leave my mouth, I can tell this isn't the reassurance she was looking for, but it all I can give.
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KATNISS
The silent but twinkling streets of the Capitol go by the window of my car unappreciated by my eyes. The scene I stare out at us simply a backdrop to my unordered thoughts. Each memory of my lost friend seems to splinter into others and then into unanswerable questions. Why would Tova keep her relationship with Cinna a secret? I know she must hate me; I got her uncle killed. Is she using Peeta to get to me? Is she going to destroy him or turn him against me as punishment?
A headache is pounding behind my eyes by the time the car pulls up to the hotel. Parked at the curb, the driver quickly exits the car and within seconds is pulling open my car door. As the cool night air swirls into the warmth of the cab, I realize I've been crying as tears on my cheeks begin to cool on my skin. Quickly running fingers over my cheeks to hide the evidence, I sniff and slide across the bench seat to the door. A hand appears at the exit, offering me support as I exit. I feel a little awkward, but I take it and step out onto a pool of light created by a streetlamp. As nod my thanks up at my driver, I realize he's a lot younger than I assumed earlier. The man in front of me can't be any more than 25. He's easily over 6 feet tall, lean but muscular, with green-blue eyes and slightly wavy bleached blonde hair. He smiles kindly down at me and I realize that he didn't pry or question me during the drive, in spite of the fact I'm now fairly sure I spent at least some of it weeping. I suddenly feel very grateful for his discretion. I'm sure it's all part of his job, I'm still thankful. "Thank you for getting me home, sir," I offer up lamely.
He lowers his head in a nearly imperceptible nod, "Anything else I can do for you tonight?" he asks kindly?
I shake my head, "No, thank you," I return.
He closes my car door and moves back toward the driver's door, but stops. Turning back towards me, he stares at me for a minute before adding, "My name is Carson Miss. If you need anything else tonight, or whenever, please just let Fredrick know, and he'll contact me."
This pulls my lips into a grateful smile. "I'll do that. Good night Carson," I say.
"Good night Ms. Everdeen," he returns.
"Please call me Katniss," I request. "It's odd…you call me by my last name, I mean you're not much older than me," I smirk.
He grins his consent. "Good Night, Katniss," he smiles, then turns and gets into the car.
I stand on the sidewalk and watch until red tail lights of the car growing smaller and smaller, and finally disappear from sight. Turning to the tall building I'm calling home I suddenly feel completely and utterly drained. I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath then turn to start my climb up the front stoop.
PEETA
Having delivered Tova to her friend Jeromy, and dispensing with a super awkward goodbye, I'm now searching the gathering for my mentor and escort. I've waylaid a few times by small talk as I've skirt the circumference of the room, but even as I accept accolades and answer questions about my life back in Twelve, I keep my eyes scanning the room. Finally, I spot Haymitch and Effie, looking as if they're in my same predicament. Politely excusing myself from the company of couple of older women and turn on the "Effie plan" for navigating a room. I smile wave, but refuse to stop. To my delight, it works. Finally, at my destination, I sidle up to Haymitch and offer my apologies for interrupting. The pair that Haymitch and Effie are talking to must sense my uneasiness because very quickly the younger woman kindly excuses themselves for a dance. I've never been one to believe in luck, but when I spot Gale barreling through the crowd toward us looking furious, I caulk up the couple's departure to it. The last thing they need to witness is what is about to take place with Gale.
"What the hell did you do to her Mellark?" he spits out, his face flushed red in anger.
I bite my cheek to keep my lip sealed. You knew he wouldn't get an answer for Katniss, not in the state she was in. "Excuse me?" I say thinly.
"You're the last person she was with," he growls dangerously and I feel my muscles tense for a physical altercation.
Haymitch steps between the two of us, holding a hand up to Gale, "Shall I call you're your Commander, Captain, or will a simple reminder that you're on his protection detail be enough for you to pull your head out of your ass?" he asks evenly.
Gale pales a bit at the reminder and immediately comes to attention, his back straight, his hands clasped behind his back. "My apologies for my outburst Mr. Abernathy, I was just concerned about Kat…Ms. Everdeen's sudden departer from the party," he coolly but evenly.
Haymitch looks back at me a look of surprise in his eyes. "You know where she's gone?" He asks Gale.
"The hotel, sir," he answers, his eyes straight forward, refusing to look at Haymitch even though his tone is respectful.
I bite my tongue and look at Haymitch, "Can we get out of here, I think I've had enough fun tonight," I grind out.
Haymitch looks to Effie and she dips her head in approval. "Let's just thank our host and we can depart," she states and turns to lead the way.
I take a step to follow Haymitch and Effie when Gale grabs my shoulder. Guess he's only going to be a good soldier in front of Haymitch, I determine, finding it a little humous that the old Victor can scare him straight at all. Stepping directly in my path and glares at me. "I'll do anything to protect her," he states low and dangerous.
I can't help the smirk that crakes my face. I pat the man on the shoulder and shake my head at him. "Gale, that is the one thing we have in common."
The drive back to the hotel feels like half the night, so when the car pulls to a stop I'm the first one out of the car and bounding up the stairs. My entire ride was spent going over how best to approach Katniss and I'm not willing to wait it out anymore. I opt for the stairs over waiting for the elevator, I don't know if it's quicker, but at least it's something to do besides waiting again.
Rushing into the house, I do a quick check of the kitchen then the living room/dining room but they are empty so I dart down the hall to her bedroom. I find the door hanging slightly ajar on its hinges so I push it open silently, hoping to avoid startling her, but the room is an empty tomb. Padding across the carpet I check the bathroom and find it devoid of life as well. Puzzled and starting to panic, I'm about to retrace my steps to the living room for another look when the curtains in front of her sliding patio door stirs in a light breeze. She's outside. Pulling the sheer fabric aside, I spot her next to the pool, her back facing me. Stepping outside, I can that she's staring down into the sparkling blue depths in front of her. I take slow steps towards her not to disturb her quiet introspection. Stopping at the edge of the grassy area I silently take her in for a moment. She has removed her shoes, tossing them haphazardly into a lounge chair she sitting on the pool's edge her feet dangling in the water.
"She has his eyes," she says breaking the silence.
I startle at the sudden sound of her voice in the quiet night but quickly my lips pull into a resigned smile. Of course, she heard me coming, I muse. Abandoning my attempts at stealth, I cross over to the pool deck. I pause just briefly to remove my shoes and socks, before lowering myself down to let my flesh and plastic feet join hers in the shimmering water. "She does," I say, agreeing with her observation.
Katniss doesn't look at me, she instead keeps her eyes on her toes under the surface of the water. "I noticed it right away when I first meet her. I mean, I couldn't place what it was, but I knew there was something familiar about her to me," she admits.
Tova's eyes have always stood out to me as well, but I found nothing familiar about them until today's revaluation. The simple thought of her sparkling eyes brings a knot to my stomach. My brain can't seem to help but recall exactly how they looked right before she kissed me tonight. The memory makes me bite the back of my lips, so I push it way. I don't have space to contemplate it with Katniss next to me.
"Katniss, I promise that wasn't keeping this from you. I was just as blindsided as you were tonight," I state earnestly.
She looks over at me, "I know that," she affirms. "I could see it in your eyes the moment it came up, I was just…shocked."
The tiniest bit of relief washes over me.
"Peeta, do you think that whole thing was staged?" she asks me, her brows knitted in thought.
The question makes no sense to me. "No, of course not, why do you think that?" I ask.
She raises her shoulders in half-shrug. "Revenge, I imagine comes in many forms," she says sadly.
I squint at her trying to decode her conclusion. "I don't understand," I admit.
"I'm responsible for his death. She'd have every right to…" she trails off, leaving her thoughts unfinished.
I shake my head, "No, I don't think that's what went down tonight. After you left I talked to Haymitch and was able to clear a few things up. Then I tracked her down and we talked. I truly believe she didn't want us to find out her secret the way it came out tonight and she's really sorry she didn't say something before today," I explain, trying to condense our conversation down to the nitty-gritty that affects the woman next to me. Carefully, I take her hand in mine. "Katniss, no one, including Tova, thinks you are responsible for Cinna's death. Snow killed him, plain and simple," I soothe.
A silent tear rolls down her cheek, but I resist the urge to brush it away. "I watched them beat him Peeta, that was done especially for me," she cries.
"They killed him because of the symbol he helped create in you. His designs literally fanned the flames of division for a nation that was already at war. He chose the revolution, it was his choice and he knew the chance he took," I comfort.
A soft sob leaves her throat, and I drop her hand so I can loop my arm around her shoulders. She stiffens only for a second before leaning into my side. Running my fingertips along her arm, I realize I'm holding my breath. I take a shaky breath and try to just absorb the moment. Different from our dance tonight, I take in the weight and warmth of her against me and find it oddly familiar and foreign at the same time, it echoes to me of our past.
Slowly her tears subside, but still, she remains tucked against my side, her head my chin. "Peeta, there's more about Cinna that you haven't said isn't there?"
I simply nod.
"Sometime, probably soon, I'll want to know all of it, but not tonight," she sniffs.
"Whenever you're ready," I say softly.
We lapse into silence for a while, both of us watching the refractions of light on the water surface and taking in the night sounds of the city around us. Katniss is the first to speak again. "Your pants are wet," she mutters then runs her fingers along the hem of pant leg where it floats in the water just below my knee. "Is the water bad for your…um your…" she stammers, pointing at my artificial leg.
"My prosthetic?" I ask knowingly. I feel her nod. "You can call it that you know…or Larry, which is my name for it," I laugh. I feel her body tighten next to me so I give her a reassuring squeeze. "Please stop blaming yourself for his existence. I know I would have happily given a lot more than a leg to make sure you got out of that arena alive," I remind her gently.
She shifts, sitting up straight, and turns to me, "It's hard to let go of those…kinds of …feelings," she admits.
"Yeah, it is," I agree, remembering each of the faces of the people I had a hand in killing. "Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving isn't it?" I say. I look down at my leg and then up at her, "It's just a leg Katniss. There are far more things you and I can spend our times seeking reconciliation for," I offer gently.
She looks down into the water at my artificial foot bobbing around. For the first time since I've received it, she gives it a good once over. "I'll try," she agrees, turning her eyes back to mine.
"Larry appreciates that," I say with a crooked smile. "I think he was starting to get a complex," I whisper teasingly.
She snickers and shakes her head at me. "So, does the water mess with…Larry," she hesitantly asks again.
I shake my head, "Nah. The Capitol may have given me the fight that took the real one but they hooked me up with a sweet state of art replacement," I smirk. She rolls her eyes at my cheeky answer, so I go on to answer her real question. "I can get it wet, I usually shower in it," I tell her. "I do have to make sure to dry up any moisture that might sneak in between it and my stub cuz it can cause chaffing, but generally it doesn't leaks," I answer honestly.
She nods as she considers the information and seems to accept it at face value. Shivering a little next to me, she runs her hands over her arms. "Well, I don't have a bionic leg, so my feet are getting cold," she says pulling her legs out of the pool.
I too have been feeling the chill of the evening setting in, but I was reluctant to break the spell between us. I suddenly remember a cool feature Effie showed me on my hotel room tour. "Hey, I know of something that can cut the chill," I say, lumbering up from my spot next to the pool.
One of her eyebrows arches inquisitively. "Yeah?" she asks, her mood the lightest it's been all evening.
My heart skips happily at her transformation and my lips split into a huge grin, "Yeah," I say, wigging my eyebrows at her. She laughs lightly as I take her by the hand and lead her towards the outdoor living area. Right in the center of the seating area, there is a circular pit. I quickly deposit her on a sofa, then grab the controller from a nearby box and push a few buttons. Flames erupt from the center of the ring and begin crackling happily. Satisfied with myself, I drop down onto the sofa next to her.
When I look over Katniss has a pleased expression on her face. "Very Nice," she says, propping her bare feet up on the edge of the pit.
Reaching down I deftly roll up my pant leg and begin removing my prosthetic. Katniss's forehead wrinkles with unasked questions. Larry can handle water just fine, but he's not so much with the fire…you know with the melting and all," I tease, tossing it onto a chair on my right. She nods silently and stares at my empty pant leg for a second. I feel self-consciousness run up the back of my neck. I'm fine with the leg, but as far as my damaged mind can recall she's never seen me without it. Clearing my throat, prop my other foot upon the stone next to hers "That's nice," I mummer. She scoots into me a bit and lays her head on my shoulder. Before long, we're both settled deep into the cushions, wrapped happily in the warmth of the fire. I can't say when our amicable silence turned into sleep, but I will forever remember the moment I woke up.