Katniss
"Miss Everdeen, we've arrived," the solider driving my military transport says into the silence of the vehicle. Having been wrapped in thoughts of my talk with Peeta later, I jump at the sound of his voice. The car pulls up to the curb and I glance out the window and immediately spot Gale's tall frame leaning next to the door of the restaurant we picked to meet at. I waiting a long moment, having grown accustomed to a driver opening my door, but when this one doesn't move from behind the wheel, I realize my error and fumble for the door handle. As I push the door open, Gale runs over and offers a hand down to me. I take it and step out into the sunshine but before I can even step on to the curb I'm cocooned in 4 pairs of arms. I feel multiple kisses start to dot my cheeks, the shape of small body hugged tight around my waist and uncoordinated squeezes surround me in warmth and love. Through a smile, I let out a genuine laugh. "I missed you too Hawthorn's," I say as joyful tears filling my eyes. The clan slowly backs up and I moment to have a good look at each of them.
Rory, now seventeen years old, is only about three inches shorter than Gale and is the spitting image of his dad. Vick at twelve has clearing taking after his mother in stature, but his clear gray eyes have the same look of determination I used to see in Gale's eyes when he was out in the woods. Posy, however, is the kid that has changed the most since I last saw her in District 13. Now seven, and finally appropriately fed, she has shot up at least a foot. Her face if full and her cheeks rosy she is the picture of health. I turn to Hazelle and my eyes widen even further. Like the kids, her well feed body looks healthy and fit, but it's her face that surprises me. My memory recalls a face lined with worry and toil but now I find her continence smooth, glowing and full of life. "Hazelle, you look amazing," I say sincerely.
She smiles and wraps me in another hug. "It's so good to see you, darling," she says into my hair. Pulling back, she looks into my eyes, "You look so healthy and whole, I can't tell you how happy to see you like this," she says. "And you're hair, it's gotten so long!" she smiles, running a piece of my long hair between her finger and thumb. Octavia's voice rings in my head, "Peeta suggested we don't cut it too short, he said he thought it looks nice longer." A smile pulls on my lips at the thought, but I tap the urge down.
Gale chuckles, "If you two are done telling each other how pretty the other is, can we go in and get some grub?" he teases.
Hazelle squints her eyes at him. "Just because you've had the chance to get reacquainted doesn't mean I have," she dismisses.
He rolls his eyes, "I think you can do that inside the restaurant too," he says spreading his arms wide to herd us into the restaurant."
Once inside, we are escorted by a woman with red hair to room separated from the rest of the restaurant by decorative screens and large potted plants. In the center of the space is a large harvest table atop an intricately braided rug. The kids need no promoting and scramble to secure a seat. I settle down next to Hazelle, Gale on my right. The red hair woman places a basket of fresh biscuits on the table before telling us our server will be along shortly. The kids grab for the basket, but Gale snatches if from the table and out of their reach. "Just hold your horses," he laughs, offering the basket first to his mom and then to me. I reach in and pull one out, surprised that it's warm. Plucking a chunk off between my finger and thumb, I unceremoniously toss it into my mouth. It's crumbly and doesn't have much flavor so I set it down a look around the table for butter or jam to make it more palatable.
"Not up to your standards?" Gale asks, eyeing the discarded biscuit.
I shrug and grab a pot of jam. "It's okay," I say as I begin lathering the top of the bread with the fruity spread.
"Then why are you drowning it in strawberry jam?" he asks.
I shrug. "It's just a little bland," I admit.
"Not up to the standard you've grown accustomed to from the bread boy?" he asks knowingly.
Setting my butter knife down and level my eyes at him. "If you must know, no. His are far superior to this. They are flaky, buttery and soft. And I never need jam or honey," I tell him, my mouth filling with saliva at just the thought of the bread described.
"Well that sounds good," Hazelle says, giving Gale a weary look. "With his talent, he must keep you fresh baked goods."
I nod. "Me and the rest of the district, and all from his home kitchen," I tell her, feeling swell of pride in what he has done for the people of Twelve.
"Well that is impressive, and exactly what I would expect from a son of Marcus," she smiles sadly.
The mention of Peeta's dad surprises me and she must see the look on my face because she laughs. "Katniss, I went to school with Marcus and his wife. Not to mention your mom, dad…Haymitch," she says her brow raised.
I laugh at myself. I could I forget? I arranged for her to work for Haymitch once upon the time. I just shrug.
"Peeta reminds me of Marcus at that age," she says, her eyes far off. "Marcus was a generous soul too. If had married your mom like he wanted to he would have never kept the bakery, would have given way all of the goods. Not to mention had that happened the world wouldn't have a man like Peeta in it, would it?" she says through a kind smile.
Tears form in my eyes. "Did you know that he came to see me when I volunteered in the first games?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "No, I didn't."
I glance over a Gale and he seems surprised by this revelation as well. "He did. He brought me cookies and promised to make sure Prim didn't go hungry," I tell them, a tear escaping and sliding down my cheek.
"Why would he do that? You were going to be fighting his own kid to the death?" he asks, the sound of suspicion in his voice.
"Because he was a kind man Gale," Hazelle states before I get the chance.
I nod in agreement. "He was always treated me fairly when we traded and he never turned down goat cheese when we had it offer, despite his ability to buy better quality cheese from the Capitol."
Hazelle nods, her smile sad. "So what is everyone in 12 doing for bread with Peeta here in the Capitol? she asks.
"Greasy Sae agreed to take over his deliveries until we get back. She's doing just basic breads but folks won't go without their carbs," I tell her. "Did you hear that Sae opened up a little restaurant in one of one of the empty houses in Victors Village?" I ask.
This draws surprise from both Hazelle and Gale. "Is she still serving wild dog stew?" Gale asks, laughing.
I chuckle too. The dog stew wasn't anyone's favorite, but when your starving you'll eat anything. I shake my head, "Thankfully that's off the menu for the moment," I laugh.
"Man, I could go for that gourd and bean soup though," he says wistfully."
I sigh, this my favorite soup too. "She makes it in the fall. Funny, that's the one time a year that Haymitch not only suggests going out for dinner but pays," I snicker.
This draws Hazelle's attention. "How is Haymitch, uh…" she pauses looking for the right words, "managing…these days?" she asks.
"If you're asking if he's turned his house back into a hovel, the answer is no. He had the sense to hire a woman to come in to clean. You'd be proud," I smile.
"And his health?" she asks, her eyebrow raised.
I lean back and consider the question. Hazelle knows Haymitch, went to school with him, worked for him. She knows about his preference to be wasted most of the time but I get the feeling she's asking out real concern, not to just get dirt. "Some days are better than others," I tell her honestly. "But overall he's better than before. I think having geese has helped," I laugh.
Hazelle's eyes turn amused at the mention of the fowl.
"So he's only stumbling drunk instead of passed out drunk these days?" Gale says hotly.
I bristle, but Hazelle beats me to admonishing him. "There is no way you or I can understand what he was forced to live through, mind your tongue," she says evenly.
Gale glowers but doesn't comment more on the subject of Haymitch Abernathy.
Hazelle smiles kindly at me, "So what are you doing to keep yourself busy in twelve these days. Gale has a habit of changing the subject when I ask," she laughs.
I take in a painful breath. She doesn't know about our falling out. I glance to my right and find him looking pale. I swallow some bile and press on. I won't out him. "Honestly, there isn't much to report as of late, really," I offer. "The first few months were…difficult," I stammer and she nods sadly. "But I had Peeta, Haymitch, and Sae to get me back on my feet," I explain. "These days, I spend my morning's hunting and my afternoon's selling the game we don't need to the neighbors or to Sae's café. Peeta and I planted a vegetable and herb garden this year so we've been learning a lot about plants and "how to maximize our yield," as Peeta calls it." I smirk and she smiles. I think about telling her about the memory book but decided against it. I don't think she'd hate the idea, but I don't know if she or Gale could understand it. "Other than that, just pitching in around town where we can," I summarize.
"Sounds like you and Peeta spend a lot of time together," says, her eyes twinkling.
I don't turn to look at Gale, but I swear I can feel the irritation rolling off of him. My cheeks heat in a flush, "Well, we are neighbors," I say lamely.
She raises an eyebrow but moves on. "How is his treatment going?" she asks.
A smile lifts the corner of my mouth, but I shrug. "He's lightyears ahead of where he used to be, for sure. Lately, he's been just Peeta," I say, realizing that I haven't seen his other in well over 2 months.
"And when he's not Peeta, what do you do then?" Gale asks, trying to sound curious, but I know his true feeling about my safety around Peeta and immediately my guard goes up.
"He seems more aware of the change before it happens now, so he either distances himself or works on his therapy projects. He stopped lashing out verbally about eight months ago, and outside of what happened in district 13 he's never physically harmed me," I say defensively. "Most of his episodes are only marked by silence."
"I just pray you're not around when those walls he's built up come tumbling down," he bites.
"I have no reason to think they will," I return evenly, my eyes flashing.
Hazelle clears her throat. "Gale, you've always trusted Katniss to make sound decisions, why the third degree?" she demanded.
Gale snorted, "She's got a blind spot when it comes to him, that's why," he states matter-of-factly.
Just as I'm about launch my rebuttal the server appears at the end of the table a tablet in one hand and a carafe of coffee in the other. Setting the pot down in front of Hazelle, he proceeds to tell us the specials. There is some debate at the table between a "family style" breakfast or a breakfast buffet. While the group decided among themselves on breakfast, I grow more and more agitated with Gale. I don't want to justify myself, I said I wouldn't. Soon as the family decided on the family-style breakfast and the waiter disappears, I launch into my rebuke of Gale.
"Gale, it's not like Peeta just waltz back into town. When he was put into care in the Capitol, Paylor ordered that he couldn't be released from the hospital until his violent tenancies were deemed irradiated. Even then he wasn't allowed to come back to HIS OWN HOME, "I say punctuating each word to drive home my point, "until he obtained permission from the mayor of Twelve and got a signed agreement from Haymitch saying he would take him as a charge until his 21st birthday. Did you know that?" I demand sarcastically.
He raises an eyebrow at me, "But they didn't ask you?" he asks, in a gotcha kind of way.
I laugh, dry and bitter. "I couldn't bath or even feed myself at the time, so no, my opinion wasn't sought out," I scoff.
Hazelle's mouth drops open and the kids who had been chattering and bickering with each other all go silent at my statement.
Embarrassment flushes my cheeks at the sudden revelation. I glance at them, then over at Gale, who looks stricken. I want to take back my words or better yet disappear, but instead, I straighten my spine and lifted my eyes fully to Gale. "What? It's true," I defended.
He shakes his head at me, his face drawn and sad.
"Why didn't you call us! Call Gale?" Hazelle cries, taking my hand.
I look over at her and feel a tear prinking at the corner of my eye. "I didn't want to call anyone. I couldn't," I tell her honestly, a tear escaping down my cheek.
She takes me in her arms as the food arrives at the table. "Oh dear girl," she whispers into my ear. I feel Gale's hand on my back.
I sniff and smile through my tears. "It's okay, I'm better now," I promise.
She pulls back and looks deeply into my eyes, her simmering. "I just wish I had known," she says.
I nod in understanding. "I had good people to look after me. I was never alone," I say, trying to comfort her.
She wipes her eyes and lets me go. "Remind me to hug and kiss Haymitch and Peeta the next time I see them," she smiles.
"And if you get back to twelve, Sae," I add.
She smiles, nods and hands me a plate. "Will add her to the list!"
I take the plate and begin to fill it. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gale looking at me, his face unreadable. I turn and offer him the plate. "Hungry?" I ask.
He dips his head in agreement, "Yeah, thanks," he says taking the plate from my hands.
I grab a plate, fill it and dig in. The meal passes with discussions of school, jobs, and new friends of the Hawthorns and starts of a plan for them to come to Twelve for Harvest Festival this year.
After breakfast, we all head outside to wait for the car that was to take them to their hotel. When it appears, Hazelle turns and wraps me in a hug. "This was too short," she smiles, "but I guess I'll see you Monday."
"And in the fall," I add as I hug each of the kids in turn.
She nods in agreement as she ushers the kids into the back of the car. Once everyone but she and Gale are in the vehicle, she turns and hugs me tightly again. "You know I love you and you can call me for anything," she says over my shoulder.
"I know that," I tell her. She pulls away and holds me by the arms for a moment. "You promise?" she asks, a twinkle in her eye. I nod, "Yes." She sighs and gives my arms a squeeze before disappearing into the car and closing the door. I turn to Gale who remains standing on the curb with me.
"I'll drive you back to your hotel," he says, quietly. Turning on his heels he heads off down the sidewalk. As I silently follow him I realize that he hasn't really said much since I exposed the breakdown I had when I first returned home last year. I match my pace to his and glance over at him. His face is solemn. I put a hand on his arm. He slows to a stop but doesn't look at me.
"Gale," I implore. I see him swallow but his eyes remain on his shoes.
"You need to know…" I start, but only get those words out when a businessman in a hurry bumps into me, sending me sprawling. An arm around my waist keeps my face from meeting the sidewalk.
"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Gale yells over my shoulder as he settles me back on my feet. I huff and pull down on my rumpled shirt. "Are you okay," Gale asks softly.
I look up at him through a strand of mussed hair. "Yeah, fine," my grumble.
Gale looks down at me and gently plucks the hair from my face. "But you weren't always, were you?" he asks, smoothing my hair behind my ear.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. The dark period I had after I was sent back to 12 isn't something I like to think about, but I can't unring the bell at this point. I look around and see a walking path across the street. "Let's take a walk," I suggest. He glances over and gives me a slow nod. We crossed the street, and for a while walking in silence. The path we've taken meanders through a garden that is in full bloom and gladly empty of anthophytes. Spotting a bench I take a seat and feel Gale join me. As we both stare out at the colorful blossoms I try to find a place to start.
"Did you almost die?" Gale asks, pain laced in every word.
I run my tongue over my lips as an answer tries to form itself. A hand takes mine and I look up. His pained eyes are stormy gray and imploring. "I didn't want to die; I just didn't try to live" manage to say.
"But you nearly did, didn't you? Almost die." he asks.
I take a breath. "Honestly, I don't know. If it hadn't been for Peeta, maybe."
He closes his eyes and his chin drops to his chest. "If I hadn't…if…" he says a tear escaping down his cheek.
I squeeze his hand. "No, Gale. Don't," I beg.
"But I killed her, and that…that almost…" he stammers.
Tears well in my eyes, "Coin killer her, Gale."
"It was my plan," he admits, his voice hoarse with emotions.
I feel my lips tremble. "Gale, I once believed we had become two different people. You, with your hate for the Capitol, anger, and traps… all of your fire. But the truth is I have my own fire. I would do anything to save those I love, but I've been thinking lately that maybe…even if I think…I mean, " I stammer, but continue, "Maybe you were just trying to save everyone else." I cry.
The tears that had been filling is lower lash line final break free and spill unheeded down his cheeks. He leans in and wraps me in his arms. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," he says into my hair. "That I couldn't be there."
Pulling away I shake my head, "It was the way it needed to be. After all, fire only brings fire," I tell him.
"And Peeta brought you what?" he asks sincerely.
I look deep into his gray pools and see an honest question. "After a fire-new growth overtakes a forest. Peeta brought with him the spring," I tell him through a watery smile.
"You're in love with him," He says simply. No bite. No malice. No judgment. Just honesty in his tone.
Fresh tears fill my eyes, but they aren't sad tears or even angry ones. They just are. I open my mouth to answer but I don't have the words, how could I when my own brain doesn't know the answer. It is while my brain is spinning through its fits and starts that he kisses me. His hands gently cupping my face, his lips warm and tender against mine. The kiss isn't chaste but neither is it passionate. It's filled with-
"I love you Katniss," he whispers, his forehead resting against my own. "Peeta isn't the only one who has loved you from a distance," he admits.
I sit back, feeling lightheaded from the swift change in events. Haymitch was right, it is all I can think. I stand up. "I need to go," I mutter then turn and stumble down the path. I hear his feet behind me and my pace quickens.
"Katniss," he pleads, taking my arm and pulling me to a halt. He spins me around to face him, a hand on each of my shoulders. He stumbles for words for a moment, then clears his throat. "If what you told me before about your relationship with Peeta is true then you haven't told him, or maybe you aren't ready to, I...I don't know, but you need to know that I want your heart too. I've wanted it since the first day I found you in the woods," he says softly. He takes a step closer to me and I have to look up to see his face. "You say we both have a fire. Well, when two fires they come together they become an inferno," he breaths out huskily before capturing my lips again in a kiss. This time the passion is there, deep and fervent. Looping an arm around me he pulls me to his chest, deepening the kiss. When I feel his tongue slip across my bottom lip, I snap out of the trance I'm in and push away from him. I stumble back but catch my footing. I give my head a shake, dislodging the jumble of thoughts and feelings bouncing around inside of it. The only instinct I want to focus on right now is the one telling me to flee. "I need to go," I repeat. I take a few steps backward, and when I see that he doesn't intend to follow, turn and run through the garden, a swirl of colors flashing passed me.