Teaching a Kitten to Cook

Bib:

When the newest member to the X-Men, Gambit, hears of Kitty's cooking skills and feels like there is a challenge there for him, he works his magic. Meanwhile, what Rogue sneaks into the mansion becomes of interest to a certain red eyed Cajun.

Story:

"Bonne matin chérie. Sleep well?" Remy asked.

Rogue was a little startled as she came out of her room to find the Cajun stood right behind her.

"You've gotta stop creepin' up on people swamp rat!" she snapped. "Ain't nice."

"Someone's cranky," Remy said, following after Rogue who stormed off in a huff. "Guess y' didn't sleep well. Nightmares?" he asked.

Rogue stayed silent and kept walking, wondering why the corridor's weren't as crowded as they usually were.

When the pair approached the dining room and were greeted by a horrid smell, Rogue knew why.

"Errr, Kitty's cooked breakfast!" Rogue grumbled.

Remy's eyebrow had rose, confused as to what that smell was and by what Rogue meant.

"Probleme?" he asked.

"Hey! You guys are here. Can you two, like, try out my blueberry muffins? I just finished baking them, but I'm not sure if the inside is cooked," Kitty said, approaching the two with a tray full of square shaped muffins.

Both southerns realised what the smell was.

"Errr, no way! I think ah'd rather throw maself on Logan's claws than eat somethin' y' whipped up," Rogue said, folding her arms and taking her usual stance.

Remy watched Kitty go from hurt to upset to angry in the space of a minute.

"Like, you don't need to be so rude about it! Gee, your such a…a cow in the mornings!" Kitty tried to insult Rogue.

Rogue just huffed, "When wakin' up t' your baking, or, whatever that is," Rogue said, pointing at Kitty's disfigured muffins, "sure as hell can't blame meh."

"Why are you and the others always so down on me when it comes my cooking! Kurt can't cook great, but you all, like, eat his food!" Kitty snapped at Rogue, getting closer in her face.

"Yeah, 'cause at least he listens when ya give him a correction!" Rogue snapped back, moving her face forwards as she did so Kitty had to back off and submit to her if she didn't want to be laid out in the early morning.

"I…I do listen! I followed all of Ororo's instructions. They just, well, like, never seem to work for me." Kitty said.

Rogue just huffed, rolled her eyes and proceeded to leave the kitchen. "Ah'm goin' out for breakfast," she muttered as she waved them both off.

Remy watched Rogue leave, not surprised at her harsh attitude towards Kitty, but rather intrigued by the whole cooking situation. Remy turned at hearing a sigh behind him.

"I guess you're going to run away like everyone else, huh?" Kitty asked, glancing down at her deflating muffins.

"Y' see me runnin'?" he questioned.

This got Kitty's attention. There was a slight smirk on Remy's lips and something in his eyes which just seemed to sparkle. It made Kitty's tummy feel warm and knotty with excitement.

"Erm," she said, blushing and looking between Remy and her muffins, "would you like one?" she asked.

Remy chuckled at that and pushed the tray of muffins Kitty offered away gently. "Non," he said.

Kitty took the tray back, looking like she was going to burst into tears.

"Don't worry petite. I'll try one of your muffins, just not these ones," Remy said, passing her as he entered the kitchen.

Xxxxx

It was a good few hours later when Remy caught Rogue sneaking into the mansion trying to hide a bag.

"What y' got there chérie?" Remy asked, stepping out from the shadows and enjoying Rogue jump in startlement.

"Jeez, what did ah say 'bout sneakin' up on people swamp rat!" Rogue snapped at him, noticing he had a dirty apron on.

"Maybe if y' were plus sournois, you'd know I be here," Remy said.

His eyes purposely fell down to the bag in Rogue's hands. The object that looked to be in the bag was a bottle.

"Buy anythin' nice?" he asked.

"Oh, no not really." Rogue said, glancing down at her bag. "Just somethin' that needed stockin' up on. Why ya in an apron anyway? Has Kitty gone off sulkin' again?" Rogue asked.

"She be 'round and de reason I be wearin' an apron, chérie, be de reason why people normally wear em," he said.

"You're cookin'?" Rogue asked.

"I be cookin' somet'in' up. Take it you'll be down pour le dîner, non?" he asked.

"Girl's gotta eat. Guess ah'll see ya later. Well, so long as y' ain't hidin' in the shadows, that is," Rogue jabbed at him before making her way upstairs.

Remy gave it sometime before he followed Rogue up the stairs. He found Rogue's taunts about sneaking rather ironic as he caught her sneaking into Kitty's room. When he had a look in there, he noticed that Rogue had a damp cloth and was wiping down Kitty's windowsill with it. He found it odd, but didn't say anything as he knew he'd be needed back in the kitchen.

Returning to the kitchen, Remy went back to observing Kitty as she made her way around.

"'member what I say 'bout de oil petite," he said, making Kitty jump before she poured some of the oil into the frying pan straight from the bottle.

"Oh, yeah, right!" Kitty said, looking to retrieve the measuring spoons she previously had no knowledge about.

Remy moved to chop some vegetables. As he chopped carrots, he felt Kitty's eyes on him.

"Y' got somethin' t' ask?" he said, catching Kitty a little off guard.

"What, oh, errr, no, no. Just, you know, like, stirring the food," Kitty mumbled, then laughed awkwardly.

Remy ended up smirking after a few short moments passed and he felt Kitty's eyes land on him again.

"Erm, so did you cook back home too?" Kitty asked, her checks almost as red as the flames underneath the pan she had on the hob.

Before Remy could answer, Logan had brought down some bin bags. The grump of a man raised his eyebrow at the two. He set Remy with the task of frowning out the trash he had collected from around the mansion.

"So considerate of you monsieur claws," Remy said which made Logan grumble something under his breath before he left.

Remy grabbed the bags and took the rubbish out to the bigger bins outside. When he was hauling a few of them, he noticed one bin bag had become loose. He went to tie it again, but just as he did, he noticed a spray bottle that interested him.

Remy returned back to the kitchen to wash his hands.

"So petite, there ever been a spider problem 'round here?" he asked.

"Nope and thank God for that! I, like, totally hate spiders! I get the worst nightmares about them. There's this one I have where one crawls into my ear, Erugh," Kitty said, physically shuddering.

Remy smirked at this, putting a few things together. Kitty began to chuckle and turn crimson.

"Ha ha ha, well, not like I'm totally freaked by them or anything. I just, erm, well I, erm, I guess I prefer just not dealing with them," Kitty said, almost throwing her head into the pan she had in front of her.

"Y' got methods goin' 'round dis place t' keep em away?" Remy asked, brushing off Kitty's hilarious reaction.

"Actually, no. None. Nobody else seems to mind spiders and creepy crawlies, but I just can't stand them," Kitty said.

This made Remy even more intrigued.

"I'm gonna go change petite. Y' know what y' be doin'?" he asked.

"Oh yeah! Completely! Thanks so much for this Remy! I'm so lookin' forward to…" Kitty trailed off and seemed to lose the happy buzz she was feeling. "Are you sure people are going to be at dinner tonight?" Kitty asked.

"Affirmatif, now y' just keep concentratin' or your gonna burn dat chicken and we don't serve-"

"Burnt chicken!" Kitty said gleefully. "I've got the timer set and everything! I promise, it's going to be good!"

Remy smiled at Kitty as he left the kitchen. He heard her relieved sigh after he left and her muttering angrily at herself. He didn't need to stick around to know what she was muttering to herself and made his way to his room. He made it a point to be seen with a dirty apron as the other X-Men entered the mansion. There were questions about him cooking tonight that he brushed off without answering directly.

Before he finished his trip to his room, he went in search for Rogue. He ended up finding her in the library with the same spray bottle in hand. Same one that he had found in the bin. She was wiping down the library windowsills now and Remy was sure she had been at this cleaning task since she got back.

Remy left without saying a word to her, going to change into some clean evening clothes.

xxxxx

Later in the day, a crowd had gathered in the dining room. Jean ended up asking Rogue a few questions about Remy's cooking skills and Rogue reassured her that he was a miracle worker in the kitchen. Remy couldn't help but feel his pride sore at her compliments, but of course, Rogue deflated them and made sure to give all the credit to Tante Mattie. Remy couldn't disagree with her there.

When he started to come out with the food, everyone started to take a seat. A lot of them paused in confusion for a time as they saw Kitty bringing in meals as well. The food looked and smelled amazing.

After placing the plates he had in hand down, Remy made his way towards Bobby who was sat on one of Rogue's sides.

"De potato tots gonna be placed down on de other side of de table garcon. Why don't y' go take une chaise over der so you be able t' bag more, non?"

And with that, Bobby was up and moving.

Rogue shuck her head at Remy as he took the seat Bobby had been occupying.

"There's no potato tots, are there?" she asked.

Remy snorted at this. "You know mon standards, Chérie."

He couldn't help but see that smirk fighting to break free on Rogue's face as she glanced away. She was eyeing the food in question.

"Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas? There ain't no bugs in de meal if that what y' be worryin'," Remy said.

"Never said there were. Just… something's not right here," Rogue said, glancing at him with a form of interrogation in her eye.

Remy's eyes just sparkled with mischief which made her all the more sure something was going on.

"What ya up to swamp rat?" Rogue asked.

"Chérie, ya wound moi. What makes y' t'ink I be up t' anythin'?" he asked.

"The fact that you ain't gettin' all cocky over ya food an' leavin' Kitty ta bring out the last bits. Somethings up," Rogue said, squinting as if she was trying to see through him.

Remy chuckled.

"I promise y', there be no bugs in de food," he said.

"There y' go again 'bout bugs," Rogue said, now looking confused. "Are ya pullin' a prank or somethin'? 'cause ah swear Remy, if ah end up eatin' a worm or somethin', ah'm gonna knock y' teeth out and make ya swallow one whole."

"I just be thinkin' how we hardly see any bugs 'round de mansion. Y' know anythin' 'bout dat?" Remy asked.

Rogue's eyes dashed away from him quickly and he saw the tell-tale signs of embarrassment on her face.

"Why would ah know somethin' like that? 'sides, bugs never bothered meh anyhow." Rogue said.

"Really? So spiders don't make y' hairs stand on edge like some other filles?" he asked, still watching Rogue closely.

He found it quite funny that she was avoiding answering his question directly. Maybe he was rubbing off on her a little more than he should be.

"Encase y' ain't noticed, ah'm a goth, Remy. Ya really think spiders bother meh?" Rogue asked.

Remy's resting smirk grew. She really was a sneaky one. Not sneaky enough to get something past him, but enough to fool everyone else under Xavier's roof. If that empty bottle in the bin had anything to say about her methods, then Rogue had been sneaking around for a while.

"Non, I guess not." He said.

Rogue finally meet Remy's eyes and she held them.

"This is really good Remy. Rogue definitely didn't do you justice when she described your cooking abilities," Jean said.

"That's 'cause y' ain't ever tasted his tante's cookin'," Rogue said, breaking her gaze with Remy quickly. A rosy tint flushed along her neck which had Remy mesmerised for a time.

"That woman could whip anyone's behinds with her gumbo, ain't that right Cajun?" Rogue said.

"She be un merveilleux cuisinier, truly. But I'm afraid I can't take de credit for tonight's meal," Remy said to Jean.

Jean looked confused as he said this. Scott, of course, had been listening in to his girlfriend giving out compliments.

"Wait, are you saying you didn't cook this? If you didn't then who did?" he asked.

"Dat be our resident chaton over here, homme," Remy said, loud enough to catch everyone's attention. "She cooked dis meal single handled. All I did was chop some veggies."

Kitty had frozen where she was putting down the peas. She had crimson again.

"Kitty, did you really make this meal?" The Professor asked from the head of the table.

Her shade of red only got deeper as she bowed her head down and began scratching the back of it.

"Well, like, yeah. But Remy gave me, like, a lot of help with the spoons and instructions and everything," Kitty said.

"All I did was feed y' some rules, petite. Y' did de hard work yourself," Remy said, sloughing more in his chair.

Rogue couldn't hide her smirk as she watched him.

"This meal is very well done, Kitty. You should be very proud of yourself," the Professor said.

The rest of the teens began to chatter away then, a lot of them complimenting Kitty and making her almost fall throw the floor from the attention.

Remy had felt Rogue's eyes on him. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. The smirk she was trying to hide was obvious, but luckily for her, Kitty held the floor. He watched as she began to eat without protest, finally dropping her eyes from him as she did. Remy and Rogue had ate in near silence after that.

After hours of enjoying a good meal, Remy finally saw to escorting Rogue back to her room. As they walked, with Rogue claiming he should have got a gold medal for handling Kitty all day, Remy replied with: "Told y' chérie, she did de cookin'. I just be moral support. Ain't no credit bein' tossed mon way 'cause none of it be earned. Although, I do wonder why y' ain't claimin' y' credit, " Remy said.

Rogue let out a mix between a laugh and a scoff.

"Meh? What y' talkin' 'bout swamp boy?"

"Shouldn't there be credit for makin' sure dis here place be spider free for those who have cauchemars 'bout em scrawlin' up their nose?" he asked.

Rogue seemed to freeze at that with a slow agony appearing on her face.

"How did ya… Y' know what, ah don't wanna know. Ah swear, some of the things that come outta that mouth'a yours," Rogue said, turning on her heel and making hast in front of him.

Remy snorted as he watched Rogue storm away at his comment. She really was a puzzle sometimes.

xxxxx

French Translation:

Bonne Matin Chérie- Good Morning Darling
Probleme - Problem
Non - No
Petite - Small One
Plus Sournois - More Devious
Pour le Dîner, Non - For the Dinner, no
Monsieur - Mr
Affirmatif - Right
Garcon - Boy
Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas - What's Wrong
Filles - Girls
Un Merveilleux Cuisinier - A Wonderful Cook
Homme - Man
Cauchemars - Nightmares