Playing a Thief
Bib:
Everyone believes that Gambit's played a prank. Some retaliate and it leads to a full blown Prank War.
Story:
Remy was at the kitchen table, coffee in hand and newspaper in the other.
"Oh Remy, I didn't expect you to be in here?" Jean said as she entered the kitchen.
Remy raised his eyes to look at her from over his newspaper.
"You haven't seen Scott, have you?" Jean asked, a gentle smile gracing her lips.
Remy's eyes shifted to the clock on the wall before returning to Jean's eyes.
"By mon guess, he be enterin' in trois, deux, un-" and like clockwork, Scott Summers entered the kitchen through the backdoor.
Scott slammed the door shut behind him and was muttering under his breath.
"Scott," Jean called, scrawling in confusion, "is everything alright?"
Scott glanced up at Jean, only just noticing she was there.
"Alright? Yeah everything's peachy. That is, once I get hold of – Kurt!" Scott snapped out just as Kurt and Kitty entered the kitchen.
Scott began to stomp over to Kurt.
"Hey Scott. Everything…cool?" Kurt asked, becoming uneasy as Scott approached him with a livid look in his face.
"Cool? No, everything is not cool! I told you you couldn't borrow my car last night! What part of no didn't you understand?" Scott demanded to know.
"Whoa," Kurt said, lifting his six blue fingers up into the air. "There must be some mistake. I didn't take your car out."
"Yeah, right," Scott snapped.
"It's true!" Kurt stressed. "I didn't."
"Then why did I find blue fur all over my car?" Scott questioned.
"Huh? Blue fur? Dude, seriously, it wasn't-"
"You just had to show off on your date with Amanda, didn't you?" Scott snipped. "Bet she doesn't think your hot stuff now after you totalled my ride!"
Kurt began to frown deeply and glare at Scott.
"Seriously man, this isn't't cool!" he said.
"What's not cool is you stealing my things without permission and then lieing to me about it after I've caught you stealing them," Scott said, pointing his finger at Kurt.
"I already told you!" Kurt snapped, stepping up to Scott and point his own accusing finger. "I didn't do it!"
"Whoa there, like, easy you guys," Kitty said, moving to touch Kurt's shoulder.
"Yeah, let's all just take a breath," Jean said, trying to step in front of Scott.
"A breath? He wrecked my car!" Scott snapped, pointing at Kurt.
"I didn't use your car!" Kurt snapped back at Scott.
"Hey, what the heck's goin' on in here? Ah could hear y'all from the other side of the mansion" Rogue said as she entered the kitchen to Jean and Kitty holding Kurt and Scott back from one another.
"Forget this!" Kurt snapped. "I'm outta here," and with that, he disappeared in a poof of smoke.
"Wait, Kurt-" Kitty tried to say before coughing on the fumes left behind.
Scott grunted then turned, heading out the door he came through. Jean watched Scott leave, then turned to glance at Kitty, both put out by what had just happened.
When Rogue entered the kitchen, she had made her way to stand behind Remy. She leaned against the counter just behind him, folding her arms and watching how things mapped out. At one point, she glanced down at Remy, seeing him watching the outburst with a nonchalant cover. She turned her attention back onto the scene unfolding just before Kurt teleported away and Scott left in a huff. Once they were gone, Rogue turned her attention back to Remy.
"What'd y' do now swamp rat?" she questioned, glaring at him.
Remy glanced up at Rogue, his eyes giving nothing away.
"Y' mean 'sides enthrallin' three belle femme t' de kitchen wit' nothin' but mon charmin' good looks? Made coffee. Want une tasse?" he asked.
Rogue raised her eyebrow at him, then took his mug of coffee out out of his hand.
"Watch yaself Cajun. Those boys ain't stupid," Rogue said as she began to leave the kitchen, drinking Remy's coffee.
After she did leave the kitchen, Rogue was sure she came across a cloud of smoke just outside the kitchen. She raised her eyebrow as she stared at where she thought she'd saw something then continued to walk on.
Xxxxx
"Scott," Kurt said as he poofed into the garage.
Scott glared at Kurt from behind his car hood.
"What do you want, Kurt?" Scott asked grumpily.
"Listen, I know who totalled your car and it wasn't me. Honest, I'm being framed!" Kurt stressed.
"Oh really," Scott asked, straightening up as he glanced at Kurt, intrigued. "Then who did?"
Xxxxx
Later that night, Rogue was heading back to her room when she noticed Scott and Kurt coming out of the men's bathroom together. She eyed the empty bottle in Scott's hand and something else in Kurt's. She raised her eyebrow at this, knowing what she was seeing couldn't be good.
"Rogue," Kurt said, jumping as he noticed her.
Scott jumped as well. Both men stared at Rogue as she stood there still trying to figure out what was in Kurt's hand. When she gathered that knowing wouldn't matter, she lifted her eyes to meet there's.
"Ya know, what ya doin' is a bad idea, right?" she question.
"So what? You going to go tattle on us now, huh, Rogue?" Scott asked, becoming defensive.
Rogue's eyes narrowed dangerously on Scott. Her glare said all it needed to. Rogue then proceed to walk down the corridor.
"Don't say ah didn't warn y'," Rogue said as she past them.
Xxxxx
Sunday morning came around and the whole mansion was aware of Bobby flooding the bathroom with bubbles from the toilet. There was a lot of yelling that woke everyone up. Rogue leaned against the wall, watching Bobby yelling at Kurt and Scott who had been found out. Hank had interfered, giving Kurt and Scott the task of cleaning up the men's bathroom.
Something seemed a little off about Hank's lecture when he was giving it, but Rogue zoomed out, not wanting to hear one of those first thing in the morning. She was irritated to be woken up on one of her rest days by a stupid prank. Her eyes shifted over to Remy who was talking with Ray. From what she could gather, Remy was talking about a clothes wash and showering. It seemed like they were swapping showering times and washing times around. Rogue shuck her head at this, turning and retreating back to her bedroom.
Rogue wasn't the only person who overheard Remy and Ray's conversation.
Xxxxx
Sunday morning had near passed and Rogue's allotted time for washing her clothes had come around. As she was entering the kitchen, linen basket underarm when she spied Remy sat at the kitchen table. An empty plate and cold coffee in front of him. Rogue raised her eyebrow at him as he meet her eyes. Just as Rogue was about to open the back door to head out to the boat house where the washing machine was, she heard a yell come from upstairs. It didn't take her much thought to figure out who the yell belonged to.
"Wouldn't do dat if I were you, chérie," Remy said as he went back to reading the newspaper in front of him.
Rogue glared at Remy.
"Why not?" She asked.
"Trust moi," he said, meeting her eyes.
Rogue let out a frustrated huff.
"Ah swear Remy! Y' prank wars are gettin' in the way of mah chores. Ya better sort this now 'fore ah-"
"Relax Rogue," Remy said, folding his newspaper up and standing from his chair. "Y'll still be able t' do y' washin'."
Rogue watched Remy leave the kitchen, his hands resting in his coat pockets casually. She rolled her eyes before following him.
"And how'll ah do that when there's no washin' machine?" Rogue asked, still following Remy.
"Have some washin' t' do myself. There be dis dry cleaners I wanna check out. Fancy un voyage en ville? " he asked, slowing down so that Rogue could walk beside him.
"Doesn't seem like ah have much of a choice," she said.
Just as they were passing the main entrance, Hank appeared.
"Remy, if you have a moment, perhaps a word?" he asked, stopping both Rogue and Remy in their tracks.
Rogue glanced from Hank to Remy. Hank sure looked uneasy about something.
"'fraid dat word gonna have t' be later mon ami. Got somewhere t' be. 'sides, t'ink does coquins upstairs be needin' y'," Remy said.
"Of course!" Hank said, seeming to only just remember where it was he was heading. "Enjoy your outing," Hank said, taking four steps at a time as he raced up the stairs.
"What was that all about?" Rogue asked, glancing after Hank.
"Will know later. Come on chérie. De dryers closes early on un dimanche, " Remy said, leading Rogue away.
Xxxxx
Bobby and Ray weren't the only two that day who ended up being on the wrong end of a prank. Loud bangs echoed through the mansion as Tabitha's yells could be heard echoing throughout the mansion.
"Who did it! Who's the coward that did this?" Tabitha yelled.
Rogue and Remy were just entering the mansion with their now clean and dry clothes underarm as they saw Tabitha stomping around with a pink, dripping top in hand. Many others had gathered around too. Scott, Kurt, Bobby and Ray all appeared at the same time, a guilty look on all four faces. With their looks of fear scribbled all over their faces, Tabitha didn't even seem to notice the two sourtherns enter with their clean clothes that should have been pink.
As Tabitha began screaming the house down, Rogue glanced at Remy who looked nonchalant. His resting smirk only seemed to grow as he asked: "Now'd y' believe what I was tellin y'?"
Rogue shuck her head at him, then proceeded to walk away.
Xxxxx
Rogue was in the library, curled up in a chair as she read her horror novel in peace. That was, until Bobby appeared. She caught him glancing around as if looking for someone. When he spotted her, she watched him approach her.
"Hey!" Bobby said, standing directly in front of her.
"What'd y' want?" Rogue asked moodily.
"Erm, well, I was just wondering, erm. Hey, is that a horror novel?" Bobby asked, pointing at Rogue's novel.
"Yeah. And ah was readin' it in silence till you showed up. What is it y' want?" Rogue demanded to know.
"That's awesome. I love all those old, scary movies with monsters and stuff in them," Bobby said.
"No ya don't," Rogue said, her irritation growing by the second.
"What, sure I do!" Bobby said, laughing awkwardly. "Hey, look at this."
Bobby then proceeded to make a small ice figure of Dracula in his hands. He didn't stop there and continued to make more monster figures out of ice for her. Rogue grabbed the bridge of her nose and sighed as she tried to keep her cool. As she raised her head, she noticed someone else sneak into the library behind Bobby.
"Oh, and I can make that clown guy from that scary movie as well," Bobby said.
"You mean Penny Wise?" Rogue asked. "Look, ya don't like horror movies Bobby. Y' always turn the other check when ah'm watchin' em in the wreck room. What's this really about? Why ya tryna hold mah attention?"
"What?" Bobby asked, laughing nervously again. "I'm not,-"
Just as Bobby tried worming his way out, a boom went off somewhere in the mansion. Bobby glanced over his shoulder, seeming to become very distracted.
"I'll catch up with you later," he said as he ran from the library.
Rogue stayed where she was, watching the library door close after Bobby as Remy stretched his arm out. Rogue glanced at Remy, her patience becoming very thin.
"Do ah wanna know?" She asked him.
Remy's smirk only grew as he peered around the book shelves. His attention became divided however as he heard someone approaching. Quickly, he moved back into the aisle just as the library door swung open. A pissed off Tabitha stood heaving as she searched the room.
"Where is he?" Tabatha snapped, her eyes coming to land on Rogue.
"Ya better not be yellin' at meh," Rogue said, feeling the last few strings of her patience start snapping.
"Or what? You gonna stick your shop lifter on me? Do it! It'll make my job a lot easier."
Rogue slammed her open book closed. Slowly, she raised from her chair just as Kurt, Scott, Ray and Bobby appeared in the door way.
"Ah'm so sick an' tired of y'all lookin' at meh an' accusin' meh of bein' part of anythin' that good for nothin' swamp rat does! If y'all got a problem with Remy, go tell him yaselves! Ah ain't anyone's lapdog ta boss around! An' if y'all don't quit it with the pranks already, ah'll make sure the past two days' worth of em look like child's play. Now leave meh alone ta read mah book in peace!" Rogue snapped, slamming the door in all their faces.
Remy kept still, listening to the teens run as Logan called after them. His attention fell on Rogue. She was breathing heavily, still looking agitated. Her attention turned on him, the anger in her eyes still there.
"Ah warned ya about the pranks," Rogue said dangerously low.
Remy's eyes shifted to the line of books on the bookshelf. He reached out and pulled out a bottle from behind a few books.
"Nothin' stoppin' y' from enjoyin' un verre wit' dis here Cajun on a Sunday evenin'. What'd y' say?" he asked.
Rogue opened the door to the library and slammed it as she left.
Xxxxx
Remy didn't stay in the library much longer. As he was leaving, he noticed Rogue talking to Storm. Both seemed chipper before parting. As Storm spotted Remy, her smile grew as she approached him. Remy placed his hands in his pockets and waited for Storm to approach, wondering what Rogue had concocted.
xxxxx
As time went on and many more pranks fell through, the Professor finally stepped in on a Wednesday evening.
Remy had managed to avoid all the pranks set up for him during the early part of the week and Rogue managed to avoid them all too. She wasn't dumb and saw a lot of them coming. Some, however, she didn't. But she picked up on them by the way Remy acted around her. Such as how he teased her that Wednesday morning, taking the milk which she had gotten out of the fridge from her hands before she could pour it on her cereal. Or, by how he slipped her a new bottle of shampoo to use in the afternoon just before she took a shower.
Jean and Kitty hadn't been so lucky. Kitty had been in bed all day after throwing up her breakfast that morning and Jean had locked herself in her room, refusing to come out after she took a shower shortly after Rogue. Rogue figured Jean refusing to come out of her room had something to do with the red strands of hair she found in the corridor leading all the way to Jean's bedroom.
The pranks that Jean and Kitty had walked into had been the last straw for the Professor, especially, after a huge argument among a lot of the mutant residents broke out.
Rogue had watched as Scott, Kurt, Tabitha, Bobby and Ray had tried to blame it all on Remy, but Storm covered for him, explaining how he had been with her in the gardens for most of the time that week. After failing to accuse Remy of starting the prank wars and setting some pranks up, all five of the accusers began to turn on each other. Some admitted to pranks they set which others in the union they'd created to take down Remy didn't know about and had walked straight into. Other mutant residents like Jamie and Amara who had fallen victim to some of the pranks joined in with placing the blame and increased the size of the argument that attracted the attention of everyone under the mansion roof.
Rogue had been stood next to Logan when this massive argument went down. She looked just as feed up with the prank wars as Logan did. When the finger was pointed at her, all Logan did was glare and grunt out a "no," and she was off the hook. Remy had been next to Storm during the outburst and found it rather hilarious how the two seemed to reflect each other. Hank was beside the Professor. He looked more disheartened than anything at the bickering before him. He looked like he wanted to intervene, but he wasn't given the chance to. The Professor, beside Hank, looked mad and that was the first time Remy had ever seen the Professor mad since it was a rare sight.
The who-did-it-accusations ended as the Professor took control and handed out the punishments to the known prankers who were put to work on cleaning tasks throughout the mansion.
Xxxxx
After the blow out over the prank wars, Rogue had retreated back to her room to lay on her bed and finish the horror novel she had started. She was finally enjoying the peace. That was, until a certain Cajun appeared in her open doorway. Rogue glanced at him, seeing the dirt he was trekking in leaving marks all over Kurt's freshly cleaned carpet.
"Ya bettah not be planin' on comin' in here wit' those boots," Rogue said, glaring at Remy's shoes.
Remy just leaned against Rogue's door frame.
"Nice t' see you too, chérie. Still readin' dat book?" he asked.
"Finally had the chance ta get back to it since the prank wars stopped," she said, returning her attention to the page she had been on since it seemed it had been made clear Remy wasn't entering her room.
"Why'd y' do it?" Rogue asked.
"Hmmm?" Remy replied.
Rogue shuck her head, knowing she'd never get a straight forward answer out of him if he hadn't given her one already.
"Nevah mind," she said, attempting to find her place once again.
A part of her couldn't help but watch Remy out of the corner of her eye. He had seemed to pause in her door way a moment longer, then straighten. He was about to leave, but there was still something rattling around Rogue's brain.
"How come ya ain't ever pulled'a prank on meh?" She asked, halting Remy.
"Now why would I do a t'ing like that?" He asked, glancing at her from over his shoulder.
"Ah don't know. You tell meh," Rogue said.
"Honestly, dun't t'ink even de craziest o' folks be willin' t' try pullin' de wool over your eyes, chérie. They'd be terrified of de repercussions," Remy said.
"So, y' haven't pulled'a prank on meh 'cause ya scared'a meh?" Rogue asked, feeling her anger rise.
"Non, ain't that at all," Remy said, a toothy smirk appearing on his face as he saw Rogue becoming worked up over his response.
"Then what is it?" she snapped.
"There be only a handful o' woman on dis blue earth dat has mon total respect. Why would I let any of dem walk blindly in t' une farce d'enfant?" Remy asked.
Rogue's anger seemed to bubble away at Remy's answer. For a moment, it didn't seem to make sense to her. He was talking about protecting her from pranks, not pulling one on her.
"An' for de record," Remy said, "It wasn't moi who crashed one eye's motor."
Rogue narrowed her eyes, staring at Remy as if he'd just presented her with a complicated riddle.
"If you didn't do it an' Kurt didn't, then who did?" Rogue asked.
Remy's smirk only got wider as he re-took his position leaning against Rogue's door frame, watching the clogs in Rogue's mind go to work.
"No, it can't be…" Rogue muttered in thought.
"Only t'ing I be guilty o' doin' dat day was treatin' McCoy t' some good ole rum an' teasin' de big blue 'bout he's drivin' skills," Remy said, confirming Rogue's suspicion.
"No way," Rogue began to laugh, "You mean, this whole time, Hank? No! Ah don't believe it."
Remy just shrugged his shoulders as the penny finally dropped.
"De man has a wild side just beggin' t' get out," Remy said.
"But drunk drivin'! Then liein' about it," Rogue said.
"He didn't lie," Remy said.
Rogue glared at him then.
"Y' lured him in ta doin' it, didn't you? Did y' trick him in ta keepin' quiet 'bout it too?" Rogue asked,.
"Didn't force de man t' doin' anythin'," Remy said. "He made his decision all on his own. 'sides, never did find time t' have dat word he wanted."
Rogue shuck her head, still finding it hard to believe that Hank had actually crashed Scott's car.
"He's not the type ta keep quiet 'bout things he did wrong. Especially when he knew how bad things were gettin' 'round here. Why'd he keep quiet?" Rogue asked, more as a stream of consciousness than an actual question she was expecting an answer to.
"Shame make's a man do t'ings he normally wouldn't do. T'ink he be approachin' one eye tonight 'bout it," Remy said.
Rogue shuck her head, still in a bit of disbelieve as to what happened. There was a nice silence between them as Remy let her take everything in and contect all the dots from the past week or so. One of the dots Rogue did connect had her glancing back up at Remy.
"Ya took all that smack for those pranks when ya didn't do anythin'. Well, expect get Hank drunk an' egg him on t' crash Scott's car," Rogue said.
"Never gave him those intructions, 'though, I gotta admit, I like de Beast's choice," Remy said, his smirking blooming as he found himself amusing.
"Why didn't ya say somethin' from the beginin' if it weren't you? Why'd ya let these pranks get so outta hand?" Rogue asked.
"T'ink anythin' would have change if I be honest?" Remy asked.
Rogue thought about it for a moment and felt slightly guilty as she realised what everyone's reaction would have been.
"Ah guess not," she said, playing with her bedding.
"'sides, wouldn't a been fair t' big blue if I ratted em out," Remy said.
This returned Rogue's smile.
"Why tell meh this now?" she asked, glancing back up at him.
"War's over, chérie. Everyone get there just desserts. Prankers got punished an' blue's hair been fallin out all week long," he said.
"But ya got punished too," Rogue said, griding her teeth as she glanced back down at Remy's boots. "By meh. All this time, ah thought-"
"Hey, little bit o' hard labour ain't done moi no harm. 'sides, I t'ink Stormy finally warmin' up t' me," Remy said.
"Well, she was a good alibi for ya when you needed it," Rogue said.
Rogue tried to let go of the guilt she felt, but it still haunted her.
"Ah guess couple more hands helpin' out in the gardens would speed up the work," she said, putting her book to one side as she did.
"T'ink y' be busy 'nough wit' helpin' de Wolverine plan those trainin' sessions of his," Remy said in a dismissing tone. "'sides, Tabitha an' Popsicle been put t' work on de gardens."
"Scott's took over helpin' Logan out in the danger room," Rogue said.
"So we both be havin' more free time, non?" Remy asked, his eyes sparkling while a toothy grin appeared on his face.
A smirk grew on Rogue's face too as she stood up from her bed.
"Ah-huh, an' ah plan ta enjoy this free time ah'm gettin' in peace without some troublesome Cajun bein' there ta make a racket," Rogue said, moving towards her bedroom door as she spoke.
"So repayin' de charmingly, good lookin' thief who guided y' outta many pranks dis week be slippin' y' mind on your to-do list?" Remy shot back at her.
Rogue snorted at this as she closed her bedroom door.
"Didn't realise ah owed anyone anythin', but if we're gonna touch upon owin' anyone anythin' then ah'll be movin' t' collect the debts owed ta meh," Rogue said, beginning to walk off down the corridor as Remy followed after her.
"And what debts it be y' owed?" Remy questioned.
"Oh, just keepin' mah mouth shut all week long an' not rattin' anyone out. Ah believe keepin' ya location quiet when you were hiddin' from people too counts," Rogue said, seeming smug.
"Y' didn't know who de original prankster was t' begin wit', an' as touched as I be dat y' t'ink y' be protectin' moi, 'fraid hidin' in plain sight be mon specialty. No assistance needed. What else y' got?" Remy challenged.
"Oh really? So meh lettin' ya take meh outta the mansion on Sunday to do washin' wasn't helpin' ya with an alibi? Or meh kickin' Tabitha an' the others outta the library when ya snuck in there t' hide an' was about t' get caught wasn't helpin' ya? Or how 'bout meh settin' y' up with Storm who turned out to be another good cover up for ya an' gotcha outta doin' chores for a month with the rest'a the people in this mansion? Oh, an' when it comes ta keepin' mah mouth shut, ah coulda easily gone t' the Professor an' blamed everythin' on ya. You might not'a totalled Scott's car, but ya sure had somethin' t' do with it; gettin' Hank drunk an' stupid the way ya did. The Professor easily would'a clocked on ta what happened if ah'd a clued him in."
"Point taken," Remy said, having come to match Rogue's pace as he walked beside her. He turned to face her, taking her gloved hand in his and halting her in her place.
Rogue was taken back as Remy took a knee in front of her and held onto her hand with both of his.
"Y' be very gracious t' dis here Cajun," Remy said, placing a kiss on her hand as he glanced up at her with eyes that still sparked with mischief. "An' a reward y' deserve," he said, now coming to stand on his feet, but never letting go of Rogue's hand. "So how's 'bout un meal an' un night out t' say thank you?"
Rogue rolled her eyes, struggling to keep a straight face at Remy's melodramatic way of asking her out.
"Damn charmer," Rogue muttered as she pulled her hand loose and walked straight past him.
Remy just smirked, then turned and followed afer Rogue who wasn't going to get the quiet night in she wanted after all.
xxxxx
French Translation
Mon / Moi - My / Me
Trois, Deux, Un - Three, Two, One
Belle Femme - Beautiful women
Une Tasse - A Cup
Chérie - Darling
Un Voyage en Ville - Trip to Town
Mon Ami - My Friend
Un Dimanche - Sunday
Un Verre - A Drink
Une Farce d'enfan - A Child's Prank