noun: independence, license to do as one wants

"M—Mukuro was defeated?" Tsuna shouts in shock.

"What the hell?" Gokudera says. "So that bastard was released from Vindice?"

Kusakabe has called for a meeting, and they're all in the control room, the computers turned on in front of their seat. Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto sit on one side of the table, with Reborn, Kusakabe, Lal and Giannini on the other side.

Kyoko and Haru are there too for the first time, Haru sitting next to Gokudera and Kyoko next to her.

"We had thought the same as well," Kusakabe explains. "But though five years ago Joshima, Kakimoto, and Chrome attempted to break him out, that resulted in failure."

Eh? "Mukuro is still in Vindice?" Silence falls in the room, abrupt and unsure, disbelieving. The words escaped Tsuna before he could really choose to say them, but he doesn't think for a second to take them back. "Is he?" he asks again.

Lal scoffs. "You idiot brat, what do you think the Vindice is? Once you're dragged in, one way or another you never come out of it again. Of course he's still in Vindice."

"And don't get me started about his criminal record," Giannini hurries to add. "The things Rokudo Mukuro did—"

"I know what he did," Tsuna cuts him off. "I know who he is."

"The Tenth isn't an idiot," Gokudera says, glaring at Giannini, but more so at Lal. "That's not what he's asking, or can't you even understand that?"

Yamamoto laughs cheerfully, just so the tension in the air doesn't grow further. "Yeah, Gokudera's right! It's more like, would that guy really still play for our side if not for at least his freedom? That doesn't sound like him."

"Rokudo Mukuro is in no position for negotiations," Kusakabe explains carefully, his tone poised and controlled. "What it is you're asking, Sawada-san?"

They don't understand what Tsuna's asking, but their every word intensifies the itch inside him. There's a truth past that itch he has known all along but never acknowledged, a truth twisted through his civilian eyes into something he could live with, and he didn't need to confront.

But there's something wrong about Mukuro still being in Vindice, about Mukuro still being his Mist Guardian, about these two facts coexisting at the same time, and having been coexisting for ten years.

[Mukuro has never been in a position for negotiations, has he? Caught by the Vindice after Tsuna defeated him, kept in the lowest most secured jail cell after he used himself as bait so Ken and Chikusa could escape, weakened in a body he couldn't yet use, could barely stay in… That Dad came to him in that precise moment…

What else was there for Mukuro to do but bargain his friends' safety in exchange for accepting the ring? To have it bargained in his mouth first so he could call it a bargain, when both him and his dad must have known his friends' fate was hanging on his answer?]

"The tenth's father chose Mukuro as his Mist Guardian," Gokudera explains in his stead. "And he wanted it to be Mukuro so much he didn't care the only body he could use was the one of a civilian's sick girl. You'd think there was a plan in the long run to get him out of that prison."

"I'd say ten years is the least he deserves for his crimes," Giannini grumbles.

"Vongola's never getting him out of that prison then?" Yamamoto asks offhandedly, as if talking to himself. He rests his chin on his palm, his elbow leaning on the table, everything about him nonchalant if not for his eyes. "But he's still the official Mist Guardian, right? And that girl has only been acting in his stead all this time?"

Kusakabe's face shifts without really changing, as well as Lal's and Giannini's, as Reborn's, losing the layer of restraint to leave only the cold professionalism underneath. They're experienced mafiosi, now only seeing other mafiosi they don't need to sugarcoat their words with in front of them, and Tsuna feels cold with how young he is being disregarded, feels his skin crawl with his unwillingness to be there—to be part of any of it being disregarded.

"You're asking to be let deeper in our world sooner than you have to," Kusakabe says, genuinely regretful, but Tsuna doesn't care about it now. He says nothing, and a humorless smile pulls at Kusakabe's lips. "But then again, you're only asking to hear it, aren't you?"

Tsuna's itch burns, ashes falling away to give away the truth he has always known. He holds Kusakabe's gaze, Lal's and Giannini's, Reborn's, dares them to let him hear it loud and clear.

Reborn dares, as he knew he would. "Mukuro is the perfect Vongola Mist Guardian. He has his worth."

His words wash over Tsuna, sink into his mind, the itch burning into smithereens, leaving nothing but the truth for Tsuna to confront, but there's nothing to confront. He finds he's not surprised or unsettled, not even disappointed. It's hard to describe what he feels, really, isn't sure what he hoped would happen if he kept looking away from the truth.

He looks at it head on now, and instead of wavering like he thought he would, certainty steadies him, and it feels like grief.

If anything it's Reborn's words that almost make him falter, and they feel a little like loss.

Worth, he said, a better nice sounding word he wouldn't have bothered with only a few days ago, wouldn't have felt the need to use, watching Tsuna pass out with feelings on his face Tsuna had never seen before.

Useful, Tsuna hears loud and clear, and Reborn's gaze is steady in his. There's only a table separating them, but the distance between them is ever-growing since that day, and he can't tell if he'd rather Reborn looks away.

Chrome was always going to fail in her attempt to free Mukuro. Vongola would have seen to it, should the Vindice had failed to stop her.

Vongola more so than the Vindice has every reason to keep Mukuro in prison, they're never getting him out nor will they allow anyone to get him out. Not before they use him dry, and they can use the likes of Mukuro only as long as he's in his cell.

[Guardianship, his dad had said, agreeing to keep Ken and Chikusa safe. Guardianship, but only as long as Mukuro does his job as a Mist Guardian, from inside the cell they've never meant to see him out of.

Should Chrome have failed to be a good enough acting Mist Guardian, should she have been less suited to bear Mukuro's powers, how fast would guardianship have turned into a more sinister word?]

"Even if he ended up in Vindice, where the people exiled from the mafia ends up in?" he asks.

Something ever so subtle flashes across Reborn's face, but Tsuna catches it, has become more competent at reading Reborn than Reborn probably gives him credit for.

Annoyance, frustration—no… Worry?

[Fear?]

"Excuse me," Haru says, unsure like she rarely is, and Tsuna's heart clenches, the sudden reminder they're part of the conversation—will be part of every conversation like this going forwards terrifying. It is, but it's fear for him only to bear, and he can imagine very well how much more terrified they must be than him. "Who's this Mukuro you're all talking about?"

"It's the bastard that attacked the school that one time," Gokudera says. "Our school," he precises.

"The one that hurt Onii-chan?" Kyoko asks, worry in her voice.

"Hahi!" Haru blurts out in fear. "Then he is a dangerous person, isn't he? Isn't it good he's in prison?"

"It is," Reborn says, and him and Tsuna have still to look away from each other. "He more than earned his place there, you'd better stop forgetting it."

"I've never forgotten it."

"Do not sympathize with him, how many times must I tell you?"

"Why not? I sympathized with all of you."

"Do you?" Reborn asks, and while his voice had started to be charged with emotion, it's now meticulously cold, cruelly efficient in its casualness. "Do you really remember the things he did? The things he's done to you?"

Tsuna doesn't give him an opening, doesn't let him in to be played in the palm of his hand. "I do. But he wasn't doing it to me, not really." He's calm, collected, and it angers Reborn, his smirk sharp as a knife.

"Do tell then, share with the class. Go ahead, speak your mind."

Tsuna smiles, and it pains him to. "Not with you," he says softly, then looks away, can't bear to watch the distance between them growing further still.

[Vongola will make use of anything they have a need of, be they exiled from the mafia or a civilian unaware of the heritage of their blood.

It's not that they value their safe, every day lives that means the world to him, the childhood he has finally started enjoying, or that they're understanding of his unwillingness to become part of their world, his denunciation of it, enough to let him drag his feet backwards as they try to pull him in deeper.

It's not even that they find his kindness worth to be chipped away only as much as it's needed, not in the way that makes Tsuna clings to it with all he has, all he is, no matter how many times they call it a weakness that inevitably will cost him a heavy price one day.

Tsuna was chosen as Vongola Decimo for all the reasons he's so very unfit for it, but only because it's what Vongola needs to not inevitably self-destruct itself in their constant pursuit of more power, because it's what they can make the most efficient use of to assure their existence for generations more to come.]

Kusakabe clears his throat. "I'll continue, then. After their failure, we hadn't been able to track the three of them..." He goes on, and Tsuna listens, doesn't let his mind wander to the thick silence bearing down on his shoulders, to Reborn's gaze burning his skin.

Chrome's picture appears on their screens, and genuine happiness bursts inside him, relief, even if he has known her the time of one battle only. Her arm's hurt, but she looks good enough overall, is alive even after ten years leading to their terrible current circumstances, and it's enough.

Still, the familiar guilt claws at him.

Tsuna knows she chose to be there, chose to show up at the Mist Battle at the very least, but she was only a civilian before Mukuro found her. And though he could very well imagine the resolve he witnessed during her fight withstanding these ten years, she couldn't have made another choice, wouldn't have been allowed to.

As long as Chrome keeps being a competent acting Mist Guardian, Mukuro will be left alone in his cell, and as long as Mukuro behaves in his cell, Chrome won't be made to become more than the acting Mist Guardian, and the Kokuyo Gang can keep their freedom, restricted and under conditions as it is.

That they went quiet after their failed attempt at freeing Mukuro… Would they have tried to free him at any other time that isn't a war where Vongola needs all the manpower they can get, would they have gotten away with just going under the radar?

Kusakabe takes a picture out of his pocket, and Tsuna's pulled away from his thoughts before his smile can fully falter. He widens his eyes, yet another shock slamming into him.

"This is Mukuro?" he shouts, but there's a slight undertone of incredulous laughter in his voice despite himself, deep at the back of his throat.

An owl, of all things. No wonder Hibari caught on it, Tsuna could have only thought of Mukuro too being able of pulling off this sort of things.

He leans back against his chair as Kusakabe explains, going into the details so to include Kyoko and Haru, and lets some of his incredulous laughter out in a breathless chuckle. It doesn't feel like a form Mukuro would have taken unless forced to, but he's alive, so is Chrome, and it's enough.

"Tsuna." Reborn's voice immediately turns the room cold again, deadly silent. "I told you once, and I'll tell it to you one last time. The people who end up in Vindice are only the most terrible of mafia criminals who have committed the most heinous of crimes. Mukuro's a monster, don't you ever forget that."

"So are all of you!" Tsuna snaps, defensive, and he'd be the first one surprised if not for the heat burning in his chest—anger, and God knows Reborn gets him emotional often, but anger, genuine and fierce, has rarely happened.

He wasn't supposed to let him in, but he couldn't help it, not coming from him, not when he must know better than anyone else what is this truly about, even without Tsuna spelling it out for him.

[Tsuna's unwillingness to become mafia is needed, because they have every intention to make him Vongola Decimo still. They'll want him with some of it still inside him when seating him on that throne for good, but what will happen when Tsuna will refuse to give away any of it when they'll decide it's time for him to be less unwilling? To be less kind, less against everything they stand for?

What will their hitman have to do then, his tutor, his friend, the first person who gave him back his name?]

Gokudera removes his hands from the table as if burned, and Tsuna snaps out of his anger, horror taking over instead. He reaches for his hands before they can reach his lap, and doesn't care to think about if it's the right thing to do when Gokudera looks like that.

Guilt and pain choke him up, welling up his eyes with tears, because it's still the first thing Gokudera hears, and no matter what he says he knows he'll struggle with his words for a long time to come, even if he'd trust every word he could say.

Gokudera tenses, tries to pull his hands away, but Tsuna holds them fiercely in his. I didn't mean you, but even if you are. Gokudera doesn't look at him, and it hurts, but he needs to give him all the time he'll need. He lets go of one of his hand, but still holds firmly on the other. Your hands I trust all the same, that was my whole point. Tsuna rests Gokudera's hand on his lap, turning away from him, cradles it in both of his. Your hands I treasure, always, please never doubt me on this.

He strokes his thumb over Gokudera's knuckles, feels his hand ever so slightly gives in to his touch, and overwhelming relief almost makes him tear up for good.

He'll need to mend this crack he carelessly carved on their bond, but he'll be allowed to, and that's all he could ask for.

An alarm goes off, every screen in the room switching to the radar, including the big one on the wall, red circles pulsing strong on the same location. Tsuna's heart sinks.

Kokuyo Land. Chrome.

[Everything he touches the mafia will have a claim to, no matter how faint the stain he leaves.]

Reborn's gaze weighs on him, and when Tsuna catches his eye again, relief eased the hitman back to the tutor again, maybe even the friend. Tsuna's anger had felt like loss, like fear, and he understands.

Reborn feels closer again since only a few days ago, when Tsuna passed out thinking he might not be the only one seeing them as friends after all, and despite everything he can feel nothing but relief at that.

A/N: This was supposed to be Chrome's chapter, but unfortunately you can hardly talk about Chrome without talking about Mukuro lol. Unfortunately in the sense that Chrome clearly wasn't created as her own character first, not that I don't like her relationship with Mukuro. Also TYL Chrome was literally given next to nothing, and at that point Tsuna was around Present Chrome for the time of the Mist Ring Battle only, so it was a bit hard to extrapolate on so little lol.

This chapter was also the hardest to write so far. Well, not hard per se, but I had a hard time putting my thoughts in words, which I'm learning will be a regular occurrence whenever writing Mukuro or about him lol, but I hope the point of the chapter comes across anyway. Like, I wasn't satisfied with how the chapter came out at first because I had another idea of it, but you know what, I'm actually very happy with it.

Anyway, it's been a week and I'm sorry to say I didn't advance on the story a word, because of course I didn't zqsdgfdg. I'll post next chapter in a week tops too, and see if I can actually progress on the story in the meantime this time.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Any and all review are appreciated.

Thank you for reading!

- Hope

Answer to Guests' Comments:

Mori: zsedrfgfdx yeah that's fair. i really tried though! but, well, she IS canonically that intrinsically linked with mukuro. thank you for your comment!