And the OCD is back... : )
Allie took a huge deep breath as she stared at the front door to Pete's flat, determined to find some way of stalling going inside. Closing her eyes for a moment, she decided that maybe if she focused solely on his bad points, it would be easier to deal with his reaction to her news. Ok, she could do this…bad things about Pete…
Suddenly the door opened and she almost fell through it onto the floor; she glanced up, expecting to see Pete but instead she saw nothing, realising that he must have left the door open. Her eyes danced around the candle lit apartment and she caught sight of the royal blue roses on the floor leading up to the door which led to the roof. Bending down to pick one of them up, she picked the post it note on which he had scribbled 'follow me'.
Fuck it, she was supposed to be thinking about his bad points and now he has to pull out the big guns and start acting cute? Jesus, the man was annoying.
Smiling, she made her way upstairs and taking a deep breath, pushed through the door.
Pete was sat on a huge blanket on the floor, candles strewn about all over the rooftop, a huge pizza from her favourite restaurant sat in front of him along with a bottle of wine.
"Alright?" he grinned at her. "I was starting to think you'd stood me up,"
Allie smiled and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. Shit, he looked so gorgeous in his black shirt, the darkness of the colour emphasising the luminous blue of his eyes. He really wasn't going to make this easy for her, was he?
Staring up at her, Pete quickly got to his feet and tried not to let his nerves show; her hair was in gentle waves around her face, brushing gently into her eyes. She absentmindedly trailed a hand down her hip to straighten her figure hugging white pencil skirt which she wore with the black halter neck he loved on her, the simple pair of dangling turquoise earrings he had given her their first Christmas together completing the outfit. She was going to be his for the rest of his life, that perfect thing in front of him was going to be all his…if she says yes, he added quickly in his mind. If she says yes…
"No," she grinned, shaking her head. "Just though it'd be fun to make you sweat a little,"
Returning her grin, Pete walked over to her and leant down, brushing his lips over hers gently and then blinking in surprise when she cupped the back of his head and kept his mouth on hers, deepening the kiss and wrapping her arms around him. Pulling away after a moment, Pete stared down at her panting slightly. Her eyes were still closed and he frowned as he licked her taste off of his lips.
"Allie?" he whispered. "Are you alright?"
"What?" her eyes snapped open and she smiled somewhat nervously. "Yeah, yeah, of course…I'm just in a world of my own." She shrugged. "Bad day at work."
Pete bit his tongue and cursed silently; the one night he plans on asking her to marry him and some wanker at her poncy office chooses that day to be a dick to her.
"What happened?" he asked her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and meeting her gaze head on.
Allie bit her lip and tried to get her mind back to listing his faults; why did he have to be so fucking perfect for her? Couldn't he at least look fat sometimes or something?
"I had…" she took a shaky breath inward and shook her head. "It was nothing,"
"You sure?" he pressed, leaning down and burying his face in her shoulder, kissing the bare skin and feeling her shudder.
"Yeah," she looked up at the sky, feeling her eyes sting with tears and willing them to stay in for a little while longer. "Yeah, I'm fine,"
"What do you mean, you don't get it?" Allie felt a smile tugging at her lips as she watched Pete gulp down the remainder of his red wine and grimace slightly.
"I just don't get why birds see it as necessary to have…" he narrowed his eyes and picked up one of her bare feet which were resting in his lap and inspected it closely. "Purple toenails," he wrinkled his nose. "It looks like all your nails are about to fall off,"
"Hey!" she laughed, kicking him playfully and then grinning when he leant down at kissed her ankle. "It's like you said in that eloquent way of yours," she rolled her eyes. "It's just a bird thing,"
He laughed and then jumped slightly when his phone beeped in his pocket; glancing down at it, he saw that Steve had sent him a message.
Have you done it yet? Mum won't stop fucking calling me so grow a pair and do it soon, you fruit. Good luck mate, call me later.
"Everything ok?" Allie asked raising her eyebrows as Pete snorted and tossed his phone to the side.
"Yeah," he told her. "Just Steve asking if we can uh, look after Ben next Tuesday,"
"Oh," she nodded, wiggling her toes against his palm. "If I forget to say it later," she smiled gently, ignoring the guilt washing through her. "Thank you for this, it's been the best night I've had in ages,"
Pushing her feet off of his lap, Pete crawled up her body where she was sat leaning against the wall and stopped just inches short of her face. His breathing quickened when she ran a soft hand down his cheek and brushed her thumb over his lips before leaning in and kissing him. He kissed her back harder than he had intended, but needing her so much in that one moment that he couldn't stop himself.
"Yeah well," he whispered against her lips, his tongue flicking out to taste her. "It's not over yet,"
"Oh, really?" she giggled, lacing her hands together behind his head and raising an eyebrow.
"I got that chocolate banoffee pie thing you like," he grinned when she leant her head back and moaned loudly.
"Oh dear God, I love you," she laughed as he stood up and brushed off his trousers. "Do you want me to come and help?"
"Nah," he shook his head and bent down, kissing her hair. "I'll be back in a second, you just stay here,"
Smiling at him as he jogged towards the door and disappeared behind it, Allie let the smile bleed off of her face and dropped her head back against the cold brick wall behind her. Yanking her phone out of her bag, she pressed speed dial 2 and waited.
"Hello?"
"I'm scum," Allie cried, not even bothering to say hello to Lara. "I am actual scum,"
"Pete didn't take it well, then?" Lara asked her, the sympathy clear in her voice.
"I haven't told him yet," Allie admitted.
"Allie!" Lara hissed. "You have to do it soon, you've been there for over three hours, what the hell have you been doing?"
"I can't," she shot back. "He's set up this huge romantic meal thing and…oh God, he looks so…"
"Allie," Lara interrupted, her voice firm. "You have to tell him and I mean now,"
Allie sighed loudly, knowing that she was right, it was unfair to keep going like this. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and nodded.
"Ok, ok," she whispered. "I'll go do it now,"
"It'll be ok," Lara promised her. "It's Pete…he loves you more than anything in the world."
"I know," Allie shook her head. "That's what going to make this even harder,"
Pete paced the kitchen repeatedly, his heart beating so hard in his chest he genuinely worried for a second that he might be having a heart attack.
Stopping for a mere few seconds to cast a glance at the open ring box on the counter, the diamond seemed to stare back at him mockingly and he reached for this glass of red wine, downing in it one gulp before the pacing resumed.
"Quit being such a fucking pussy," he muttered to himself. "You know what you have to do, now its just a question of going up there and doing it." Pete stopped and took a deep breath. "Allie, will you marry me?" he nodded. "See, its not that fucking hard, is it?" rubbing his hands over his face, he braced himself against the counter with shaky arms and glared at the ring.
This moment had been three and a half years in the making, there was no way he was letting anything screw this up now…
Grabbing the box, he jammed it into his pocket and reached for the bottle of champagne he had bought debating whether or not to open it now and drink half. Once Allie knew what he'd been going through the past five minutes, he was sure she would understand.
"Pete?"
His blue eyes widened as the all to familiar voice broke him out of his panicked reverie and he turned around to face her.
"Baby, are you ok?" she asked, her faced clouded with worry.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded a little harsher than he's meant to. She's just scared him…what if she'd come in a few seconds earlier and seen him talking to himself, staring at the ring box and downing glasses of wine?
"I just um," she bit her lip and wiped her sweaty palms of the side of her skirt. "I kinda need to…" she frowned. "You seem really weird are you sure you're ok?"
"Yeah," Pete smiled at her. "I'm fine, I just came to get this," he gestured to the dessert and champagne. "I'm sorry its not the one you like, but uh, well, that would have been half my pay check gone," he joked, glancing up at her and panicking when he saw her eyes glaze over. "Shit, Allie that was a joke,"
"Oh fuck, I can't do this anymore," she whispered hoarsely, shaking her head back as though trying to keep the tears inside.
Pete's stomach plummeted at those words; oh shit, here he was about to propose and by the sounds of it, she was thinking of ending things. 'I can't do this anymore'…what the hell did that mean? Everything had been fine lately, better than fine in his opinion.
"What're you talking about?" he asked warily.
"I've been lying you to all night and I can't keep doing it anymore," she told him. "I wanted to tell you earlier but you worked so hard on dinner and everything that I didn't…"
"Allie?" Pete walked over to her and cupped her face in his hands, tilting her chin up so that she met his eyes. He could see the desperation in the emerald orbs and briefly wondered if he did want to hear what she had to say. "I'm starting to crap my pants a little so do you want to just spit it out?"
"It's about what happened at work," she told him meekly.
Pete frowned, slightly taken aback. When he'd asked her about it earlier, she's been adamant that nothing was wrong and yet here she was more or less in tears because what…some ponce with a side parting and a pink tie had spilt his latte on her favourite pair of shoes?
"Work," Pete nodded slowly. "Okay…"
"I had a meeting with Jack this morning and he told me…" she sniffed. "Someone in New York fucked up with Chanel and they personally asked for me to go out there and fix it,"
"What?" Pete laughed and shook his head. "Allie, that's fucking brilliant," he kissed her nose. "I'm so proud of you,"
Allie sobbed lightly and pushed him away, walking over to the sofa and flopping down onto it, dropping her head in her hands, not wanting to look at him in that second. Why was he determined to be the perfect man for her? Why couldn't he be a complete dick like she needed him to right now?
Frowning at her reaction, Pete made his way over and perched on the coffee table opposite her, reaching out and rubbing her knee gently.
"Oi," he whispered. "What's all this?"
"You don't get it," she mumbled, her voice coming out muffled by her hands.
"Apparently not," he chuckled lightly. "I thought this was what you always wanted?"
"I thought it was, too," she sobbed. "But…I didn't'…"
I didn't count on having met you by now, her brain finished. But she couldn't say that to him, it would put guilt on him which he didn't deserve.
"It's a total mess out there," she continued, sniffing and pushing her hair out of her eyes. "And the amount of work that needs to be done is just…" she shook her head and then met his eyes dead on, determined not to look away. She owed him that at least. "Pete, they want me to move over there for the next two months."
Silence descended between them for a long time and all they did was stare at each other. Pete swore he could almost hear the sound of his heart thumping against his ribs as he tried to think of something to say. One thing was certain though, it looked like the whole 'will you marry me?' thing was temporarily out the window.
"Pete?" Allie whispered after a moment. "Please say something."
"You knew about this since this morning and you thought that you'd wait until now to tell me?" he snapped, knowing that he was being unfair to her by reacting angrily but at the same time, unable to stop himself.
"I know, I'm sorry," she cried. "I just…with everything going on tonight I didn't want to spoil it for us,"
Pete snorted and stood up, lacing his hands behind the back of his head and staring out the window. Fuck me, how things could change in a matter of seconds.
"So you thought that waiting until the end of the night to tell me you're leaving the country for two months would soften the blow?" he spat. "Fucking hell, Allie,"
"I got scared," she protested. "This is an amazing opportunity for me and Jack more or less made it clear that if I don't go then we're screwed but…"
"But what?" Pete shouted at her, his patience snapping. "What?"
"I love you," she shook her head, the first of many tears falling down her cheek. "And I don't want to leave you,"
"Thanks for your consideration," he snorted.
"Why are you being like this?" Allie demanded, wiping a tear off of her face.
"Like what?" Pete laughed. "Pissed off that my girlfriend made a decision to leave for two months without bothering to tell me?"
"I won't go if you don't want me to," she shook her head. "Tell me to stay and I'll do it,"
"Don't put this on me," Pete shot at her. "You'd made your decision when you walked through that door earlier tonight, so don't make me out to be the bastard here,"
"That's not what I'm trying to do," Allie snapped. "You think I liked lying to you? You think that I enjoyed having a little voice in my head constantly reminding me that we were eventually going to have this conversation while we were up there having dinner?"
"Sorry for spoiling your night," he told her bitterly before grabbing his jacket and tugging it on.
"What are you doing?" Allie frowned, ignoring the tears which were still pouring from her eyes.
"I just need some air," he shook his head. "I need to calm down, because I can't deal with any of this shit right now,"
"Pete, please…" Allie took a step forward but stopped when he yanked open his front door a little too forcefully.
"Allie, just…" he sighed and shook his head. "Just give me a while, alright?"
With that, he stepped out into the hallway and slammed the door behind him. Making his way down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the lift, Pete felt tears stinging his own eyes as the weight of the ring box in his pocket seemed to feel more and more like a boulder. How the fuck could this have gone so wrong? He'd had it all worked out: dinner, wine then propose. This is what he got for trying to be romantic? Fuck it.
Coming to a stop on the second flight down, he braced himself against the wall and closed his eyes.
"Fuck!" he shouted, slamming his fist against the plaster, ignoring the pain that shot up his arm. He was losing her…and to make things worse, he'd been a complete bastard all because she'd put his nose out of place without even knowing. And then he'd left her on her own, crying in his flat.
Hating himself more than he could ever remember in that moment, Pete took a deep, solid breath and continued down the stairs, knowing that if he went back up there now, they'd end up fighting again and he couldn't deal with that right now.
Pulling out his phone, he dialled Steve's number, not in the last surprised when it only took one ring for his brother to pick up.
"Did you do it then?" he burst out, not even bothering with a hello.
"I fucked up," Pete told him bluntly.
"Oh shit," Steve muttered. "How badly?"
"Well I didn't actually propose," he winced. "But I did end up making her cry,"
"Fucking hell, Pete, what the hell did you do?" Steve snapped.
Quickly filling his brother in on what Allie had told him, Pete waited for his response.
"So what's she planning on doing now?" Steve asked. "Is she going?"
"I don't know," Pete told him, pushing through the double doors and out into the humid august night. "But I do know that me acting like the world's biggest dickhead didn't help. I have to fix this pretty fucking sharpish, Steve because I don't want to think about what'll happen if I don't."
I've almost finished the second part to this chapter so don't worry about being kept waiting too long. If my major OCD kicks in, you might even have it by tomorrow night...who knows... give me reviews and I'll see what I can do. Hey, they rhymed.