noun: a state of well-being and contentment

"Over here, over here." The Ninth kneels on the floor, surrounded by plants and flowers, watering the flower bed in front of him. He wears casual clothes, brown pants and an open jacket with the sleeves rolled-up. "Thank you for coming, Tsunayoshi-kun." He smiles, closing his eyes. His wrinkles crease along the lines of his smile, making it warmer.

A burst of affection spreads in Tsuna's chest, the way he used to as a child when he guessed right the flower the Ninth was pointing at as they walked through the park, and the Ninth smiled fondly at him. The word comes out unbidden with the ease of habit, forgotten as it was. "Grandpa."

Surprise flickers across the Ninth's face, and then his face softens. He walks to him, and puts his hands on his shoulders. "I'm happy you still call me that. Thank you, Tsu-kun."

Tsuna knows those hands, calloused and rough but soft, holding half of his toys as he played with him, holding his hand and making sure he didn't fall even once as they took a walk through the town. He knows those arms, secure but gentle around him as he sat on the Ninth's lap, listening to the stories of all the places he's seen while his mom made dinner, his dad flirting with her more than helping her.

"Grandpa," Tsuna says again, to indulge just a second more in the memories of a simpler time, much less painful. He had loved him once. Maybe could love him still, but right now isn't the time for that. Tsuna gently removes his hands from his shoulders. "Please, don't do that."

The Ninth doesn't miss a beat, and Tsuna's relieved, if pained, to see the grandpa leaves place to the Vongola Boss. "Of course. But please, trust it was never my intention. It's simply how I look when I can let myself be someone else than the Ninth." A wistful smile graces his lips. "Let's have some tea."

They sit face to face on fancy black couches, everything around them fancy and shiny and luxurious, the Ninth's Guardians standing guard around them.

Tsuna couldn't feel more out of place, and it comforts him in his decision. Reborn sits next to him instead of the Ninth, and it steadies him.

"Ninth… The thing is…"

"Do as you wish. It's your life, Tsunayoshi-kun." Tsuna finds himself at a loss for words, gaping dumbly. He's thought about the many ways that conversion could go, but he didn't expect that. "Oh? Weren't you talking about the Vongola Inheritance Ceremony?"

"No, I was," Tsuna hurries to say. "I just—I… This easy?"

The Ninth smiles. "I know very well how much you dislike the idea of becoming the Boss of Vongola, and it's not just because I heard it from Reborn. The Sky Arcobaleno told me about everything that happened in the future."

"So you really do know about the future," Tsuna says, surprised, even if as he says it, he realizes it only makes sense the Ninth does.

"Yes, I had a dream the night earthquakes hit numerous areas. A dream of the long battles between you and Byakuran."

"A dream?"

The Ninth nods. "It took some time until I realized it was the truth, but I felt Uni's warm flames in those dreams after all." Tsuna looks down, biting his lip on a painful smile. Uni's Flame of Life could have been nothing but warm. "And during that battle, I understood that the candidate to become Boss of Vongola, Sawada Tsunayoshi, was truly not meant to be a mafia boss. He's a crybaby, and indecisive, and kind, and cares for his companions too much."

The Ninth sounds sorrowful even as his words are kind, approving. Tsuna can't help but glow to the praise, not because they come from the Vongola Boss he's meant to succeed, but from the grandpa who still knows who he is.

"He's not praising you," Reborn says.

"Maybe not to you," Tsuna shots back easily.

"Oh, my mistake. I'm pretty sure I heard at least two unmistakable criticisms, but do tell me what words actually mean."

"Then I heard at least two unmistakable compliments!" Tsuna sputters, glaring at Reborn and blushing red. "Can't you let me have anything?"

The Ninth laughs. "Reborn's right," he says, and Tsuna blushes harder while Reborn smirks. "Because you have so much heart, a life in the mafia will be nothing short of a tragedy for you." Tsuna recoils, dread pooling in his guts, freezing him to the bones. The Ninth doesn't falter, his face solemn, but he sounds soothing then. "But you're also right, Tsunayoshi-kun. Precisely because you have so much heart, you're the only one who can return the corrupted Vongola to its original state. You, and you only. I believe I've already told you once that is why I chose you, didn't I?"

"You did."

"Yes, I—"

"You keep saying it to me, how unfit I am to become Vongola Boss, but you've still never hesitated in trying to make me one, did you? Don't you care?"

The Ninth briefly furrows his brows, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Of course I did. I never wanted you to become part of our world, but the circumstances forced all of our hands."

Our hands.

Tsuna almost asks about his dad, about which side he was on when the decision was made. He doesn't, likes to think he doesn't care to find out, and doesn't want to find he does care should he find out.

"The circumstances," he almost spits out instead. Absentmindedly he realizes how harsh he's been sounding, how cold, but he doesn't care. A tragedy, the Ninth said, and yet keeps asking him to take on his mantle with nothing but absolute certainty and hope, as if Tsuna wasn't calling him grandpa once. "Ninth, you don't get to sit here, telling me how I should become the next boss, how you believe I'm the only one who can become the next boss, and blame it all on circumstances. You could have let Vongola die after you, but you chose me instead, didn't you?"

The Ninth's Guardians don't move, neither does Reborn, but Tsuna feels the shift in the air, the tension about to break for the worse.

The Ninth raises his hand, and the air feels lighter on his shoulders. "You're right, I did. It was my duty as the Vongola Boss." The Ninth still wears his casual clothes, his face so much more familiar as the one of his grandpa than as the Vongola Boss', but his grandpa is nowhere to be seen. "But it's not that I didn't or wasn't willing to let Vongola come to its end after me. Only I knew there was someone who could take after me and lead Vongola to better days it hasn't seen for generations now, and it was my duty to take that chance."

Chance, Tsuna almost snaps right there and then, his flames burning inside him, and he wants to embrace them whole.

He'll never be able to wash the blood off his hands.

He'll never forget the bloody sins that have given him the strength he needs even as he rejected them.

"Tsunayoshi-kun."

Tsuna's fists shake on his lap, clenched so tight his knuckles are white. His heart beats in his ears, and he feels the familiar heat of his flames right under his skin.

"Tsuna."

Tsuna holds his breath, one, two long seconds, five, then exhales it slowly. He uncurls his fists one finger after another, and lays his hands flat on his thighs. He looks up at the Ninth.

The Ninth glances at Reborn, nodding gratefully, then meets his eye again. "It's true I said your life in the mafia will be nothing short but a tragedy, and though I believe it, I'm sorry it frightened you. But it's only one of the paths it can take. It won't have to be like that."

"As long as I let myself be mold into the perfect Vongola Boss, is that it?"

"Because you have what it takes to turn Vongola into something that won't lead you down this path. Into the Vongola it was when it was first created. Do you know about it?" Tsuna says nothing. "I'm sure you've heard already, but the purpose of the first generation Vongola family that Primo founded was to protect the townspeople. They would fight for their loved ones, but they didn't abuse their power, not until the second generation. That's what Vongola has been founded for, and what you have been doing is very much like their ways." Tsuna smiles, reaching for his ring through his clothes. He has seen Primo—no, Giotto, only two times, and not in the best of circumstances to say the least, but that sounds just like him. "Ah, I remember. Will you show me the new Vongola Ring that Primo left you?"

Tsuna reaches for his necklace underneath his clothes, and wraps his hand around his Sky ring. He holds onto it for a moment before removing his necklace and handing it to the Ninth. The Ninth holds the Sky ring between his fingers, and if he's curious or bothered by the Mist ring dangling from the chain too along with Nuts, he doesn't show it.

A glint of hope and determination shines in his eyes as he looks at the ring, of relief. "So this is… For you to have been able to obtain the ring that no other generation has been able to obtain, it must mean that Primo and I are thinking the same thing." The Ninth catches his eye, then smiles, like he's finally found the words that'll convince him. "He wants to destroy the current Vongola." [To flourish, or to perish.] Tsuna widens his eyes, hope flickering alive inside him even as he knows better than to let it. "And you're the only one who would be able to carry on the will of Vongola. Will you not think about it carefully, for one more day?"

Tsuna has to make sure. "But I'm just a kid. Why is there such a hurry?"

"It's true that you're still a little young to work in society, but Primo was about your age when he founded the vigilante group. And after seeing you in the future, I was reassured that you are ready. So why waste time?"

"Don't call it waste," Tsuna can't help but say, even as he tries to bite his tongue, to bite down on his anger, on his resentment. His hope dwindles, but he can't help but hold onto it. "This is the happiest time of my life. Would be, if it weren't for you, for all of this."

"I didn't mean it like that," the Ninth pacifies. "Please, forgive my poor choice of words. But the sooner you become Boss of Vongola, the sooner you'll see and end these fights and murders that you so hate."

"End," Tsuna repeats, his hope gone but certainty keeping him steady, and it feels like grief, like loss.

"End them," the Ninth says, nodding encouragingly, but it means an entirely different thing in his mouth. "For good."

Tsuna almost laughs, almost pities him, but he only feels sad for how far he's gone, is only comforted yet again he can't let any of them losing themselves so far.

Does he really not hear how contradictory he sounds? How is Tsuna supposed to end the fights and murders while making sure Vongola prosper through better days? Surely Tsuna doesn't have to remind him even the best of mafia days can always be a bloody one—will eventually be a bloody one, inevitably.

And what happens in the time he'll need to lead Vongola on a better path? How much of themselves they would end up leaving behind on that bloody path?

"Can I ask you something?" he asks quietly.

"Of course."

"How old were you when you became the Vongola Boss?"

"Young, though older than you."

"That's a lot of years. What did you do with them?"

"Kid," one of the Ninth's Guardians says, taking a step forwards.

"This is the candidate to the title of Vongola Boss," the Ninth says with a soft voice, but his Guardian steps back before he even finishes. "Do not shame me by showing him anything less than the respect he's due, Ganauche." He lets his words linger in the air, never looking away from him. "I did my part. All those years, I did nothing but try my best to keep Vongola from sliding further down its violent, bloody path."

"And you called it a day?"

"Tsuna," Reborn warns cooly, but he's tensed when Tsuna looks at him.

"Am I wrong?" Reborn doesn't answer, and he flicks his eyes to the Ninth's Guardians. "Am I wrong? All of you, the most powerful people in Vongola who want it to become better so badly, but what did you do with that power?" They say nothing, their face unreadable, not shying away from his gaze. Tsuna looks at the Ninth. "Am I wrong?"

"I did my part," the Ninth says again. "The one I was fitted for."

"And now it's my part to make it all better, is that it?"

"You have the ability to."

"No," Tsuna says, sitting to his full height. "Maybe you didn't let Vongola become worse, but you let it fester in the darkest parts of your world. And now you can leave it all behind, you want the peace of knowing someone will take care of all the horrible things you let happen while you could stop them? You don't get to have that peace."

You don't get to have any peace at all, Tsuna doesn't add, not out of kindness, but fairness, because he's learned how easy it is to lose oneself in their world.

"Then don't do it for any of us." The Ninth takes his face in, and when he smiles, it seems to bear the weight of all his years. "I won't defend myself. Fact is, we did fail to show Vongola a better way, the one it knew how to follow once. But you will be able to do it, Tsunayoshi-kun. You have it in you to do it. That makes it your responsibility."

"It doesn't."

"Vongola's blood runs in your veins."

"I will not let any of you shackle me to your world because of my blood. Nor do I have to repent for it by losing myself in your world because of it. And I will not stand by as you try to make the people I hold dear bear the weight of it with me."

The Ninth's smile turns genuine in that one moment, warm and pride and love in his eyes. "You've grown beautifully, Tsunayoshi-kun,"

Tsuna had loved him once too, he had, and maybe he could still, but right now isn't the time for that. His heart clenches. He doesn't let it sway him. "I'm not Primo, Ninth, nor will I be the one to clear your consciences. The only responsibility I have is to my friends and family, and I have to protect them from the fights and murders. I will. Ninth, I—"

"I hear you. I do," he says again, before Tsuna can say it anyway. He stares at his ring one last time, then holds it out to him. "But will you still not think about it carefully for one more day? And if you're still against the idea come the day before the ceremony, you should say so then. Please, Tsunayoshi-kun."

Tsuna takes back his ring, and holds it with both his hands, brushing his thumb across the gemstones. He nods. "For the times you were only my grandpa. And for everything I've gained through it all despite the pain."

A/N: I'm going to be honest and says that I do not like the Ninth, but I tried to check myself and not let my bias slip in. But then again, Tsuna himself is pretty biased to the Ninth too at this point, and not in the good way either, so.

Also I didn't plan at all to make use of that canonical grandpa angle, but it kind of just happened all by itself lol. I am happy with it though, and I do think it adds something to their dynamic here.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Any and all review are appreciated.

Thank you for reading!

- Hope

Answers to Guests' Comments:

Mori: "the man who gave him everything good and bad" yesss this exactly! also how "Tsuna still doesn't have hostility to him", ahhh so happy you got exactly what i was going for! because that's just really it, as much as vongola is the cause of terrible things happening to him, it's ALSO the cause of tsuna being the happiest he's ever been. and so of course he'll resent the man who made it all happen for the bad things, but how could he truly hate him when he also made happen the good things, you know?

and reborn's pov really would be super interesting to have in this. i think you're right and at this point he does still want tsuna to fall in line, but at the same tsuna already earned enough of his loyalty he's starting to waver a bit in that wish.

thank you for your comment!