Disclaimer: I don't own the situations or characters portrayed herein. I'm just playing with them for a while.

Murder Between Friends

He didn't think he had ever actually been struck dumb before.

It had started out so normal, too. He'd asked her to take care of some paperwork and she said, "No, I'm sorry I can't."

This was so unlike her that they all stopped to stare.

"What do you mean you can't?" he asked. "Are you all right?"

It was his first thought, nowadays, now that he had opened up a little more to her and they understood each other so well.

"Oh yeah I'm fine...but I just stopped by to say goodbye. Well, I mean not really goodbye, because I'll still be around."

He frowned, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, Byron Jordan offered me a job as his executive assistant at double my salary."

He could only assume that Billy and Francine were as shocked as he was, because even though he clearly saw their mouths moving, he didn't hear their words.

She went on. "And I think I'm gonna take it."

His head was filled with a cottony dampness, and he shook his head a little. He mouthed something - he had no idea what - and she looked at him.

Her expression told him clearly that she was asking him for his understanding, if not his blessing.

"I need the money."

He nodded. An unfamiliar prickling feeling started up behind his eyes, and he looked at his stack of paperwork.

He knew she was still looking at him, trying to gauge his reaction. She said, a little louder, "I guess this means...I'll be resigning from the agency."

This time he managed an "Oh".

He had never been good at managing or hiding emotions, so for most of his adult life he had just…not had them. It was easier to live that way.

You tended to get your heart broken less that way.

He still couldn't quite believe she was leaving him - leaving the agency, that is - and so, when she walked up to him and Francine the next morning, he couldn't help but hope that she'd thought better of it.

Apparently not.

"I came to give Mr Melrose my agency termination papers and my ID," she said, her mouth twisting a little.

He couldn't be too emotionally invested - not right now. Better keep it light.

"Yeah. Ah, everything working out alright?"

Please say no.

"Great."

"Good! Good! Well, it's great to see ya. Say hi to Jordan for me." He hated that hearty voice, but something stuck in his throat seemed to be making his voice sound strange.

"Yeah," she said. "What is it, another practice maneuver?"

"No," Francine replied, "this is the real thing, Amanda." He heard the unspoken "So let us get to work".

"Yeah," he said, habit catching him hard, "we have word that the hit squad may be training in sky valley."

"Lee! That is on a need to know basis!" But Amanda was his part—

No, she wasn't. She was working with Jordan now.

"Yeah well ah..I'm glad everything's working out with Jordan."

She sounded distressed. "Lee, you know I— I mean, I took this job because I had to. I—"

He cut her off, guilt at making her feel guilty clouding his mind. "I know. I know."

Dimly he heard Billy calling them out, and he felt helpless in the face of an impossible goodbye.

"You take care of yourself, huh?" he said, feeling choked by all the missed opportunities for saying what he really felt.

"Yeah, you take care of yourself!" Her reply was bright, but like winter sunshine, it did not warm him.

He smiled, dying inside. "Yeah."

As he turned away, he caught her worried expression, and he knew she had understood him, again, better than he meant her to.

Why should I take care of myself? I have nothing to live for, now.

He left, fighting the urge to run back to her and catch her up in his arms and hold her tight, communicating wordlessly all the tender things that he had never had the courage to tell her.

He knew, suddenly, fighting down the tug of the incomplete goodbye that was welling up in his throat, that he couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

Maybe he could still go to her house. Introduce himself as an old coworker. Get to know her family. Maybe, just maybe, ask her out one day.

In spite of the cold numbness that had filled him when he had found out that she had been having a candlelight dinner with Jordan at his home, she was still his friend.

Even if the dream of asking her out one day had turned out to be nothing but a fantasy, she was still his best friend, when it really came down to it, and his best friend deserved the best lawyer.

It was a good thing, too, because if he hadn't come over to her house to see how she'd liked her lawyer, she would be dead right now.

The thought of losing her forever made his blood run cold, and he couldn't stop shivering, even as he coughed along with her outside her garage.

Thank God he had come in time.