AN-I remember when some girl sent me a message and said she didn't like my story...and called me a preteen fanbrat...And I'm older than her...but yeah I checked over her stories...She's a really talented author mind you...but her stories are soooo f**king boring that she could put 13 year old Gaara to sleep...and he NEVER sleeps...and this story alone CRUSHES ALL OF HER STORIES! I GOT MORE STORIES THEN SHE HAS REVIEWS! LMFAO
MATTER FACT F**K EVERYBODY THAT I SAID ANY STORY I WROTE COULDNT GET PASSED 50 REVIEWS! ALL Y'ALL CAN EAT ONE!
now on to the story...but before that I wanna thank mizzgirlygirl0 for helping me with the last chapter of who did it
"Okay here's the plan." Sasuke began. "We will split up into groups of two-"
"LIKE AKATSUKI!" Tobi interrupted.
"...we'll split up into pairs of two-"
"LIKE AKATSUKI!"
"...Then-"
"LIKE AKA-"
Sasuke appeared in front of Tobi and Uchiha b***h slapped him across the room.
"We'll split up into pairs of two and search for Naruto."
"Right." Hinata said.
"The groups are as follows:
"Gaara and Lee." Hinata said.
"YOSH!"
"SAND!"
"...yea."
"Sakura and Shino." Hinata said
"Okay." Sakura said.
"BUzz."
"...yea."
"Kankurou and Chouji."
"Cool."
"I'm going to destroy Sai...from the inside out." Kankurou said.
"...yea."
"Shikamaru and Temari." Sasuke said.
"What a dr-"
"Finish that sentence and you'll be eating my fan for dinner." warned Temari.
"Temari...you can eat one. Just like all those people who doubted the great and Legendary Inuyonas."
"yea."
O_o
"How in the world did I end up on the other side of the doors?...and why is there a human shaped hole in it?...and why am I on the ground?...More importantly why does my anus hurt?" Wondered Shikamaru.
"Tenten and Neji...when he wakes up." Hinata said.
"Why would you send Neji out again when you know he cant do anything because of the Yaoi no jutsu?" Ino said. "It's ill logical and will cause problems." Ino finished as she adjusted her big round nerd glasses that appeared out of nowhere.
"Ino..." Neji started."I appreciate you putting actual thought behind you reasons but...Logic has a brother, and his name is SHUT THE F**K UP YOU GAY DIKE!"
"...yea."
"WHO THE F**K KEEPS SAYING THAT!" Iruka shouted from the jounin table.
The whole room looks at Sasunaru4evar.
"What?"
"Do you keep saying yea?"
"Yea."
"SHE DID IT AGAIN!" Iruka said.
"Stop saying yea, or we will beat you up. You got that?" Anko said.
"Yea."
"AGAIN!" A random villager said.
Kurenai squeezed the bridge of her nose.
"Okay." she started. "If you continue to annoy us, I will Punch your teeth so far down your throat that you will have to stick a tooth brush up your ass just to brush them. Do you understand?"
"yea."
"THERE'S NO GETTING THROUGH TO THIS WOMAN!" A random villager said.
"Anywho... I need all the pairs of two to start looking for Naruto-kun now." Hinata commanded.
"Yes go look for Dobe-kun." Sasuke added.
A unanimous Hai was heard and all the pairs of two exited through the doors.
"Okay." Sasuke started. "GHOST SQUAD FRONT AND CENTER!"
"HAI!"
Ghost Tobi, Itachi, Deva Path, Jaraiya, Asuma and...no wait I think that's it. They appeared before Sasuke.
"You five will lead everyone else in a wide scale search mob." Sasuke Explained
"TOBI WAS SLASH IS AND FOREVER WILL BE A GOOOOD BOOOY!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Yea."
"DAMNIT!" Shouted Iruka from the Jounin table.
"Right... But all the ghosts are in charge-"
"What about me. THE HO-F**KING-KAGE!" Tsunade yelled cutting him off.
"Oh right...I forgot. Tsunade will be in charge...the ghosts will be second in command." Sasuke said.
"Except Sasuaru4evar." Hinata said. "She is coming with us."
"Why Hinata-chan? Don't trust little ol' me?" Sasunaru said in a southern bell voice.
"No I don't trust you. Thanks for asking that specifically accurate question though." Hinata said as she bowed respectfully.
"Weird white eyed freak." Sasunaru said.
"D**k sucking slut f**k faced whore bag." Hinata retaliated.
"Very well then." Tsunade said standing up. She then pointed torward the door.
"Let the village wide search-mob began searching!" She yelled as everysingle person in that room began rushing out the doors in a mob like fashion.
Where they got the torches from? Only kami knows...and she's being a selfish B**** by not telling me where.
In a dank and cold room there was a boy.
No.
A teen to be exact.
This teen was chained to the wall of this dark dank damn room.
20 feet off the ground to be exact.
This teen was chained by his wrists and ankles. His limbs were spread out like he was making a snow angel...in the snow... and he got stuck with his legs apart...
So picture him unconscious against the wall like that.
Yea.
Perfect.
This teen was male (obviously). He had spiky blonde hair and six whisker like marks residing on his face.
He was only clad in black ANBU styled pants.
When I say only I mean ONLY.
This means no socks.
Or shoes.
No shirt.
No head band.
and not even Underwear...or boxers...or briefs.
and for those sick minded individuals...a.k.a Yaoi fangirls...
COUGH*sasunaru4evar*COUGH*COUGH*msuzumaki*COUGH COUGH
No thongs or panties of that sort.
Just strictly pants.
that were black.
...and maybe sweat.
But you can't wear sweat so it doesn't count.
But just to be clear he was sweating.
"Wakey wakey Naruto-kun."
In that dark dank damn dark ass room.
There was another boy.
No. Teen to be exact...
MEANWHILE!
with Gaara and Lee.
"G-GAARA! we s-should stop this, w-w-we need t-to search Naruto-kun-AAAAH!" Lee screamed as his bare back hit the wall.
They were both in an alley way.
"Look Lee, I like you and I want you. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Gaara said as his pants hit the ground around his ankles.
O_o
"I do welcome this Youthful activity but, not now-"
"That sounds like the hard way to me Lee." Gaara said as sand shot out the gourd on the ground behind Gaara.
Gaara made a hand sign and said the most terrifying thing Lee heard in his life.
"Yaoi Suna Bunshin no jutsu."
Now there were five Gaaras around lee.
Gaara smirked
"Oh dear youthful kami."
Now let us check somewhere else before the author is forced to type something he regrets
With Sakura and Shino
"Shino...I love you."
"Sakura...I love beetles and grasshoppers...then Ninja stuff...then ants...then more ninja stuff...then My glasses...then cock...ROACHES!(Honestly some of you are just plain perverts) then you Sakura."
Sakura was mortified.
No she was pissed.
How dare he not love her!
She sucked his Cockroach without the roach part for crying out loud!
She was getting angry
Beyond angry
absolutely furious.
She clenched her fists.
She was so mad that she involuntarily gathered an normous amount of Chakra in her body.
"Sakura?" Shino said worried about her well being.
"YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL MY NAME TREE HUGGER!"
"You have a leaf on your ninja headband too y'know."
"SHUT UP!"
"AAAARGH!"
Sakura grabbed her stomach. She was in tremendous pain.
"Shino help!"
"I don't know medical ninjutsu. What do I do!" Shino began to panic aswell.
"I don't-aaah!" She screamed loud as she doubled over clutching her stomach.
"SAKURA!"
SLINK!
...UM...
Well
you see Out of all possible thins that could have happened...
Even the great author didn't know this was coming.
"Sakura what on earth is that?" SHino asked.
Apparently a 2 foot metal rod erupted form Sakura''s...Crotch area through her pants.
Sakura smiled deviously
"Now shino, I like you, and I want you. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."
O_o
Shino became OOc and started to cry...from his shades.
MEANWHILE with the crowd
"DEATH TO SAI!"
"DEATH TO SAI'S ART!"
"DEATH TO YAOI!"
DEATH TO ITACHI!"
"I'm already dead you ungrateful pricks!" Itachi said.
The crowd was running across town causing havoc to anything that crossed their path.
"WE SHALL FIND SAI AND DESTROY HIS ONE THING HE WANTS ABOVE ALL!" Tsunade declared.
"Naruto?" Tobi asked.
"...on second thought just keep on causing havoc."
In that dark dank room was a black haired boy.
Staring at Naruto.
Only this time Naruto was staring back
"WHy did you chain me up sai?"
"Did I command you to talk?"
Naruto twitched.
"I could go Kyuubi mode and eliminate your existence...but for the sake of this story I'm going to do the complete opposite and NOT do that. Why you ask? because common sense is frowned upon in this show. I mean really, the bad guys are the people that kill you silently or stealthfully and the good guys charge right in. What kind of crap is that!" Naruto ranted.
"um...Anyway...Naruto I'm drawing the perfect scenery for me to ravage your sweet tight asshole in.(AN- You guys don't know how hard it is to type something like that. *shudder*)
"Well I have faith in my friends." Naruto said.
"Faith is bull crap." Said sai smiling that creepy smile.
"Now shut up and let me draw-"
BOOM!
"STOP THIS CRAZYNESS!"
Someone burst throuh the wall
Hinata and Sasuke were walking down the street searching for our favorite blonde haired shinobi.
Both had their doujutsu activated and both were wanted Naruto before the other did.
"Hey where's Sasunaru4evar?" Hinata said.
"Hn."
"I thought I said to come with us."
"Hn."
"Sasuke."
"No Sakura I don't wanna date you...I wanna date Naruto's ass.
"Well Uchiha You are not my type either. I prefer men with Big ...Kunais...not barely half of a shuriken."
That woke Sasuke up.
"What did you say you whore?" Sasuke seethed.
Hinata giggled." I see all with these eyes, Sasuke. ALL.
Sasuke blushed at that statement.
Suddenly Hinata stopped walking and glared at the side of a building.
"I think I located Naruto." She said.
"What makes you so sure" Sasuke questioned.
"Look at the sign."
Sasuke looked. The sign read: NARUTO IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT IN HERE.
"Yea...Whoever wrote that sign is clearly retarded." Sasuke said.
Just then they saw the search mob run by and stop infront of them.
"HEY LOOK AT THAT BUILDING!" Yelled Deva path.
"IT SAY'S NARUTO-KUN ISN'T THERE!" Ghost tobi yelled.
"Oh well let's keep looking then." Ghost Jaraiya said.
The mob speeded awaay.
"..."
"...only Jaraiya." Sasuke said shaking his head.
"Anyway it's time to save Naruto-kun!" Hinata said as she dashed at the building.
"JYUUKEN PUNCH!" Hinata punched through the wall and the whole side collasped.
They were shocked at what they saw.
"Kankurou?"
"Are you doing your puppets again?" Hinata asked.
"NO!"
He ignored the fact that they could clearly see his naked body on top of Karasu's lifeless body. Karasu appeard to have a pained expression on it's face.
"Sure your not."
MEANWHILE!
"STOP THS CRAZYNESS!"
Naruto and Sai looked at the person who said this.
"SASUNARU4EVAR!" Naruto said.
"So you found us." Sai said drawing his sword.
"Indeed." She said drawing her sword."I am a changed taught me something. She taught that true love still exists. So Sai I am no longer after Naruto's delicious virginity. But I will not allow you to wreck his asshole.
"Well let's stop stalling."
FRENCH FISH FROM SPONGEBOB: 2 HOURS LATER
"Damn." Sasunaru said as she laid on ground gasping for breathe.
She had cuts and bruises all over her body. she had blood all on her clothes and face. All in all she looked beat the hell up.
Sai had a few scrathes here and there.
"Well That was fun." Sai said sarcastically.
"But now it' time to claim Naruto-kun."
"Oh hell no it's not." Naruto said from the wall.
"Naruto those chains eat chakra." Sai informed him.
"...You cliche'd son of a B***h." Naruto commented.
Sai walked torwards Naruto and reached for his pants.
Naruto's eyes bulged out.
Then suddenly a sword like thing erupted from the ground underneath sai threatening to stab through him.
Sai jumped back in time.
The sword like thing was long and sharp...the funny thing was that it was made from blue electricity.
"So more people have found me."
Sure enough Sasuke emerged from where the Chidori sword peirced the ground from.
"Sasuke Uchiha. I've been wanting to test my strength against yours." Sai said smugly.
"Sai, have you forgotten I beat the whole Hyuuga clan? I killed Orochimaru TWICE! I owned in the battle of the five kages and Helped defeat Madara Uchiha. Sai you have no hope of winning."
"All bark and no bite Sasuke."
Sasuke heard this from behind him. He turned his head and in that instance Sai had appeared right behind him aiming a stab with his sword at the back of Sasuke's throat.
"SASUKE!" Naruto screamed.
"Sasuke!"Sasunaru4evar shouted weakly.
SPLELTCH!
The sickening sound of flesh being ripped into was heard. and the shocking sight of a sword protruding out of Sasuke's throat was saw.
"Sasuke Uchiha. Last of the Uchiha clan is dead now." Sai said.
Then the unthinkable happened.
"Like I said before. You have no hope of winning." Sasuke said before he bursted in to a bunch of big white snakes
"GENJUTSU!" Sai said.
"I learned that from Orochimaru."
"OOf!"
Sai heard that right before he was kicked from behind and skided across the floor. He got up got ready again. But he couldn't find Sasuke.
"The next move I use will be from my doujutsu."
Sai heard this all around him.
"JYUUKEN B***H SLAP!"
All of a sudden Sai's head rocketed backard and his body followed.
He rolled on the ground and stood back up as fast as he could and caught sight of Hinata standing in front of him.
"My my Hinata. Just when I was going to unleash Amaterasu." Sasuke appeared right next to her.
"...You still can."
"...touche."
Needless to Say Sai was roasted to death because of common sense.
"Naruto is finally safe." Hinata said.
"Not quite yet."
"What-argh!"
She was cut off because Sasuke picked her up by the neck and slammed her back down on the ground rendering her unconscious.
"HINATA!" Naruto said.
"Shut up dobe." Sasuke appeared in font of Naruto and smacked him.
"Youre going to get it dobe. ANd you're gonna like it." Sasuke activated his Sharingan. He grabbed Naruto's chin.
Just then Sasuke noticed a kunai heading straight for his leg to fast for him to dodge. So he moved as fast as he could backwards but the Kunai still scraped the front of both his thighs and hit the hall with a squelching sound. He paid it no mind. He turned and saw Saunaru4evar standing in a position as if she already thrown something.
"You missed." Sasuke said smugly.
"Um Sasuke?" Naruto said.
"What?"
"You're bleeding."
"Thats what hapens when you get cut."
"Sasuke. Your'e bleeding bad."
Sasuke decided to look at he thigh and he noticed th front of his pants was soaked in blood. His knees started to go weak.
"Was that Kunai poisoned?" He asked aloud.
Naruto looked at the Kunai in the wall.
"!"
He then threw up.
"What the hell dobe?"
"LOOK AT THE KUNAI!"
Sasuke looked at the Kunai.
The kunai was stickking in the wall.
He also noticed it was pinning something to the wall aswell.
It looked like a fleshy hot dog.
As far as Sasuke knew he didn't have any hot dogs growing-
"AAAAAAAAAAH!"
And that's when it clicked.
Sasunaru4evar had chopped Sasuke's penis off.
O_o
Sasuke curled up in the fetal position.
Hinata woke up and kicked Sasuke then freed Naruto.
"NARUTO!"
Naruto,Hinata and Sasunaru looked at the hole in the wall created by Sasunaru and saw everyone from the ninja banquet.
"WHOO!" Chouji yelled. "Naruto is safe! Naruto is- Is that a hot dog?" He asked and ran torwards it.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Nartuo screamed.
But it was all for naught because by the fourth O in Naruto's screamed Chouji devoured the "Hotdog".
EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
THE END
REVIEWS ARE NECESSARY BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET ALOT I WILL WRITE SOMETHING EVEN MORE DISGUSTING IN ANOTHER STORY!
LOL BUT FOR EAL THO.
PLZ REVIEW
AND AGAIN THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER.
THANK EVERYONE WHO READ IT.
THANK SASUNARU4EVAR
THANK MIZZ GIRLYGIRL0 FOR GIVING ME SOME IDEAS.(NARUTO UNCONSCIOUS FOR ONE)
AND THANK YOU!