Truth 6

"Oh Tim" Gibbs sighed out loud to himself, re-reading the letter that Jen had left with her lawyer. The one she addressed to the father of our child.

She had truly suspected that Tim was their son, but she was afraid to find out, afraid to ask for fear of being wrong. Despite the resources at her fingertips.

His son had headed to his own home and his father was resting on the bed in the guest room on the ground floor. He had been reflecting on Jenny and her words to him. He truly believed she never suspected it was him, the father of their son. 'Our son.' He thought with a smile on his face. And what a son they shared. The man was freakishly smart. He could code and hack with the world's best and he had a degree in Biomedical Engineering, a Masters Degree in Computer Sciences and Computer Forensics too. Gibbs felt proud of Tim, then he recollected all the times they solved a case on Tim's unique computer talent alone, which lead him to all the hazing and bullying that Tim had copped from DiNozzo and how he had never stepped in. Stepped in to help his own son. DiNozzo wasn't the only tormenter of Tim's. Abby was just as guilty as the senior field agent, but sometimes Abby used their past relationship to get what she wanted from Tim. 'When all of this is over, some things will have to change.' Gibbs thought.

Truthfully, the MCRT never did well with change. Tony, Abby and Kate to much lesser extent had began hazing McGee when he came on board, the first change. When Gerald was shot by Ari Haswari in the knee and consequently left the agency and Jimmy came on board, he was hazed too. Although, Tim had copped it worse because Jimmy was an auxiliary team member and Tim was exposed to the hazing daily because he was in the squad room with them, not Jimmy. He was protected by autopsy. When Tim came on board full time, Gibbs had stood in the squad room and declared that Tim belonged to him, then he'd let Tony and Kate head slap him and go harder at him, including breaking into his apartment. He still did nothing. When Kate was killed and Ziva came on board, it was a big adjustment, of course, with Ziva came Jenny. It took a while for them all to find their feet again. But they did. But then Ziva teamed up with Tony and continued hazing their teammate.

When Tim shot Benedict, to his knowledge only he was there for Tim. But not as much as he should have been and that was on him.

"When it comes to Tim, I've fucked up more times than I can count." Gibbs muttered out loud admitting his screw ups to himself.

"Well yes, you and I both know that you have no one to blame but yourself there, Jethro." Ducky said, climbing down the stairs as he entered the basement, believing that Gibbs had been speaking to him. "If you recall, at the time you had young Timothy transferred to the navy yard, I advised you that you needed to rein Tony and Abby in, my friend."

"Hey Duck." Gibbs said, offering Ducky the glass of bourbon. "I know you're right. What are you doing here? Is everything ok?"

"I came to see you, I saw Timothy as I was leaving the navy yard this evening. He was clocking in." Ducky explained, taking a sip of his offered drink. "The young man looked fairly harried and almost irritated. He was definitely distracted by something that was weighing on his mind. I asked him if he was ok and he almost took my head off. Very out of character for Timothy, I must say. I was not aware the man was capable of anything less than perfect manners."

"Tim's new attitude is delightful, isn't it?" Gibbs asked, cryptically with a wry smile. "He's going through some things. I am too, actually Duck. Got time for a cup of tea upstairs?"

"Much better than this rot gut, I must say." Ducky agreed, following Gibbs upstairs to his kitchen.

Upstairs, Jethro Gibbs prepared the cup of tea for Ducky and a pot of coffee for himself. "Duck," Gibbs began, worrying about his friend's reaction to the bombshell he was about to drop. "You're a man about town, did you always check back with old flames? Make sure there was no children accidentally conceived from the relationship?"

"Jethro? Am I to believe you've conceived a child? To an old flame?" He asked, surprised by his friend and the new information at hand. To his knowledge, Jethro only ever had one child and she and her mother were killed in a tragic murder.

"Jenny." Gibbs explained, laying it all out on the line. All of it, except the identity of the child. "Turns out we didn't meet in '93 like I … we both thought. Seems we met at a rave party in '78."

"The two of you conceived a child? Together?" Ducky asked. "A child from your pre-Shannon days? How are you feeling about that? And to find out about it after her death? You must be in shock?"

"Our son is in a lot more shock than I am." Gibbs delicately answered. "He isn't dealing with the news too well. He knew he was adopted, his adopted mother died when he was young and his adopted father hasn't spoken to him since he tried searching for his biological parents when he was young. He is not permitted to tell his adopted sister that he is adopted as per his adopted father's orders."

"I see." Ducky looked closely at his friend. "Jethro? Is there a reason you're avoiding telling me the identity of your newfound son?"

"Because you know him too and we haven't told anyone else of our connection yet." Gibbs sighed knowing that he could count on Ducky to maintain his confidence.

"Timothy!" Ducky guessed, surprised at first. He sat silent for a whole minute, thinking and mentally comparing the two of them before he chuckled. "Oh my, the similarities are indeed, endless." He laughed, overjoyed for his dear friend. "Timothy and yourself share so many qualities with one another, if I add the qualities that he also shares with our late madam Director, I believe that just about sums up our young man perfectly. He truly is a blend of the two of you. I'm very happy for you, congratulations my friend."

"Tim didn't mean to snap at you I'm sure of it, Duck." Jethro albeit apologised for his son's behaviour. "He seems to be struggling with coming to terms with it all. He's angry, angry at me, at her, at his adopted father."

"No doubt your past interactions have left a lot to be desired in light of this new information." Ducky stated, making Gibbs think hard about Tim and all the ways that he'd screwed up with the young agent. His genius agent. His son.

"That's what I was thinking about when you came in." Gibbs said, exasperated as he raked his hand through his hair, frustrated and sighed audibly. "As Dad pointed out to both Tim and myself, Tony is more like me than Tim and …"

"Young Timothy knows that too. He is most definitely not feeling secure in his world right now." Ducky finished for him. "Timothy is going to not only need an apology, an actual apology with words and meaning. He is going to need the time to process everything. One thing I have noticed is that although the young lad's brain processes things like a computer, he can not be rushed. He does things in his own time and when he is ready, not before hand. Bit like someone else we both know?"

"Jen always ran things to her own schedule, doing and feeling things when she was ready to and not before, Duck." Gibbs stated emphatically.

"I actually meant you, my dear friend." Ducky argued. "No one can force you to do anything you don't want to do. You process information lightning fast and sometimes others wonder how. A bit too similar to our young Timothy, a familial trait I dare say. A wise woman once shared a thought with me that she could see the similarities between the two of you. She insinuated to me at the time, that given the right guidance from you, our young Timothy was headed to the very top."

"Kate, Duck?" Gibbs asked, not surprised. Sam had told him something similar at the time the DNA came to light.

"Precisely!" Ducky agreed.

When Tim arrived home, he was surprised to find Sam, she was sitting on the sofa sobbing uncontrollably. "Sam, what's wrong?" He asked, suddenly alarmed. "What's happened?"

"I have something to tell you." She sobbed and began hiccupping. "Tim..."

"Whatever it is we will get through it together." Tim promised her, as he dropped his bag and sat beside her on the sofa, taking her hand in comfort.

"I'm pregnant." She sobbed again, hiccupping. "It's not yours, it's from before we picked up our arrangement again. It's Austin's."

"Congratulations." Tim said, hugging her tightly. Trying to avoid acknowledging the fear that Sam will ultimately end up with a broken heart in the the process. The feeling in the pit of his stomach wouldn't ease up. "Why the tears? He didn't...?"

"Oh god no!" She quickly corrected Tim's unverbalised assumption. "Remember back in February I went to Jacksonville, Florida for the weekend and met up with my navy boyfriend Austin Brax?"

"Yeah..." Tim answered, drawing the word out. Oh, Tim remembered alright. He remembered that every time she took up with him It ended in tears. But he knew that Sam loved Austin, probably more than his friend was willing to admit. "You said you guys couldn't make it work."

"Because he asked me to marry him, I said no at the time. We parted ways by sleeping together and now I'm pregnant." Sam explained. "He's coming to live in DC, got himself a transfer to JB-AB. To be with me, he's finally making the grand gesture for me."

"That's great news." Tim said excitedly, even though he felt like his heart was being squashed in a zillion pieces. He figured he'd keep his mouth shut for the time being, he knew if he spoke out against Austin, Sam would cut him out completely and he'd lose his best friend.

"Tim, he's moving in here with me." Sam explained to her friend, delicately. "We will need your room for the baby. We'll help you find something else, though I promise. I know you moved back in to help me out, but with Austin moving in ..."

"It's ok, I get it. When do you need me out by?" Tim asked, as he swallowed hard. "It shouldn't take me long to find somewhere."

"The end of the month." Sam sighed dejectedly. "I think it's best if you're out before Austin moves in."

"I'll be out by then." Tim promised, kissing her cheek. He headed off into his bedroom and crashed down onto his bed in exhaustion.

'What a shit show of a day?!' Tim had thought to himself. 'Could it get any worse?' The answer of course was yes. He needed to sleep, as he had to be on duty in cyber crimes in three hours for a late shift. Setting his alarm, he rolled over and hit the lamp off, falling asleep still wearing his clothes from that day.

Passing Ducky at 2300 as he clocked on at the Navy Yard, Ducky gave him a warm and jovial hello before Tim snapped at the older, kind ME. He immediately regretted his action, realising he was taking his hurt and his anger out at Sam on poor Ducky. He would send the dear man an apology as soon as he possibly could, before getting down to work on the top secret encryption he was specifically working on for the Director.

At 0530, Tim locked his work station and went for a walk around the lower levels of the building. He knew there was agents working the graveyard shift on the upper floors, he was the only one in cyber crimes. The lab was locked up as tight as it possibly could be, as was autopsy. The graveyard shift analysts were hard at work on level two and the case agents and tip line operators were at work on level three. Level five would be empty, save for a small MTAC team.

Frustrated and needing to think everything through, both work and his personal life, Tim headed to the one place in the building he'd always been able to think. Taking his cell phone with him, he bypassed the agents in his old bullpen heading up the stairs to the mezzanine level, out the front of MTAC. Heading down the corridor to the back stairwell and up the stairs to the rooftop. Ensuring he had his access card to re-enter the building, he slipped through the door to the roof and headed for his favourite spot looking out over the river on the northeast corner, over looking the Anacostia River and the USS DS Barry. Before he could do anything else, he pulled out his phone and sent Ducky an apology for his behaviour last night.

Tim sat in contemplation of his personal life, he knew it wasn't possible to be the father of Sam's baby, for a couple of reasons. Their relationship hadn't turned sexual until the beginning of last month and said she got pregnant in February and secondly, he'd never ever had unprotected sex with anyone, let alone with Sam. Even their shower sex was always protected. The Admiral may have been a lax father and male role model, but he and Mr Melati had always been adamant about wearing condoms. To make matters worse, in seventeen days he would be homeless. He'd had a look online earlier and had been stunned by the cost of the rentals nearby. Even Silver Spring, where he formerly resided had skyrocketed in price and was now, almost beyond his reach. Not being a field agent anymore, his pay check had taken a serious dent, too. He didn't want to tap into his savings unless he absolutely had to. Definitely didn't want to touch his savings, just to make ends meet.

He made a mental note, to start looking for a share place and the cost of staying somewhere like the navy lodge, before planning to sell his Porsche to a consignment lot and get a little buzz-box, run-around cheap car. After all, that might be his only option of accommodation if he didn't find somewhere.

Enjoying his peaceful thirty minutes break on the roof and feeling better about his life, now he had some plans in place, he reluctantly swiped his access card and headed back inside, down to cybercrimes unit to continue his work before 0700 rolled around and he could go home to bed.

"McGee?" Vance asked, surprised to see him on the upper levels of the building at this early hour of the morning. "Anything I can help you with?"

"No Sir, just coming back in from my break." Tim explained to him. "I like to take my break and watch the sun rise."

"Uh-huh." Vance said, scrutinising Tim closely. "Why are you here now? Your shift doesn't start until 0700?"

"Ah Sir, I am on the graveyard shift all week." Tim reminded him.

"You're supposed to be only working day shifts. You're only day shift cyber crimes tech." Vance theorised out loud.

"This is the roster I was given to work, Sir." Tim answered him.

"Go home and get some rest, McGee." Vance ordered him. "I need you on the day shift tomorrow."

"Director?" Agent McCormack enquired, knocking on the man's office door. "You wanted to see me."

"Come on in." The Director snapped at the manager of the CCU. He had been the manager longer than the office had been painted orange. Since it's NIS days. Leon had done his technical training under the man and Leon knew that he intimidated the man. "When I assigned McGee to your department, I advised you that he was to remain on the day shift and he would only work on a caseload directed by me. Was my order to you unclear to you in any way?"

"No sir. However, agent -" Vance glared at him and he immediately ceased his sentence.

"I don't care which agent said what or who told who what. I gave you orders regarding McGee and I expected them followed to the letter. It was your job to make sure that your 2IC and 3IC respectively knew what it was that I expected of your team." Vance took a deep breath. "Send McCartney back to the graveyard shift where he belongs. I've already told McGee I need him back in day shift tomorrow."

"That's not going to work, the other techs are suspicious. All newbies have to do the night shifts."

"McGee is only to work the day shift. End. Of. Discussion."

Gibbs was not on duty today, he and his team were having the weekend off rotation. He was surprised, by the unexpected arrival of the Director to his home at 1900 on a Saturday evening. "Forgive the intrusion, Gibbs." He said as the door opened and allowed him into the Gibbs family home.

"What can I do you for, Director?" Gibbs asked, drawing out Vance's title, as he ushered the man inside.

"I have some concerns about a staff member." He sighed. "A former member of your team, actually."

"McGee?" Gibbs asked, the answer obvious to him. "Was he on the roof or on the bench by the Barry?"

"Wait, you know about the roof?" Vance asked, surprised at Gibbs knowing.

"Well yeah!" Gibbs exclaimed. "When he's feeling like he has hit a wall with his computer work and needs a fresh perspective, he heads to the roof to get it. When he's depressed or upset about a case, he heads to the bench overlooking the Barry."

"So when he told me that he was coming back from a break?" Vance asked.

"He was." Gibbs confirmed, not giving the Director any ammunition against Tim. "Probably getting a literal fresh perspective."

"He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders this morning." Vance commented, waiting to see if the young man's former team leader would let him in.

"I don't know anything about what's going on with him." Gibbs lied smoothly. "After all; you keep reminding me he is no longer my agent."

"Cut the crap, Gibbs!" Vance snapped. "If Agent McGee has a problem, he'd come to you about it."

"You really don't know Timothy McGee at all then!" Gibbs retorted. "If Timothy McGee has a problem, he doesn't bring it into work and he most certainly doesn't speak to people about it."

Jackson and Gibbs went to their favourite diner for breakfast after Gibbs had made his sudden declaration to Vance about Tim's character. Vance had hastily made his exit. He was headed back to the office to prepare for his meeting on the hill on Monday morning.

"Gibbs." Sam said, looking up. She hadn't been watching where he was going. "Sorry 'bout that."

Gibbs noticed the young woman who was a coffee addict was drinking a herbal tea instead. "Sam." He greeted the young woman and caught his father's eye. "What are you doing way out here?" He asked, knowing that she and Tim lived in Georgetown and he lived in Alexandria.

"Oh you know, meeting Dad. Gotta tell him about the baby before Austin gets back from deployment."

"Baby? Austin?" Gibbs asked confused. "You're back with him?"

"Yeah, my old boyfriend and I are having a baby together. How great is that?" She gushed so excitedly. "Tim's being so supportive too, I'm surprised. I know he and Austin aren't great pals too. He came home from work this morning and was busy packing up his stuff. He promised he'd be out by the end of the month. I didn't think he'd be out by the following day. I guess wherever he's moving to, is available now."

Tim was boxing up his things he didn't always use, beginning to stack them along the long wall of his bedroom. He had to hurry, he wanted to sleep for an hour before he went to his appointment with the consignment shop to trade in his Porsche.

He found himself unable to sleep. He had found another letter in his go bag when he unpacked it from work. If he had to guess, he'd guess Gibbs he'd slipped it in there, early last night or yesterday evening. He had to prioritise his thoughts and focus on moving. But the letter was calling him. He just couldn't wait a minute longer to know what it said. Instead of sleeping; he ripped open the letter and made himself comfortable on the edge of his bed.

To my darling baby boy,

I'd address this to you, my darling boy Jasper, but I have a feeling you don't go by that name anymore. Let's leave that for tonight.

Today, my precious boy, you are one year old. The earth has made an entire trip around the sun. I want you to know that a day hasn't passed that I don't think about you, dream of you.

Last night I dreamt we were reading a storybook together before bed, I kissed you on the head, told you how much I love you and sang you a lullaby to lull you into dreamland.

But none of it happened, we didn't have a cake for your birthday. We didn't sing, or read and I didn't get to kiss my darling boy good night.

One day in the future, I am going to find you. I am going to make sure you know how much you are loved.

Always loved be me. Happy birthday, baby.

Mum x

Tim knew he had to bury this letter with the others in the false bottom of his chest, he was feeling wrought and tired. So very tired.

He took a quick shower and washed away the tears before taking his car to the consignment shop. There he picked himself up an ancient looking Range Rover for a fraction of the retail price and just hoped that the Porsche sold soon. He began putting all his belongings in his car. Everything he had boxed up and a few loose items, as well as his chest and writing stuff; both his digital equipment and his typewriter.

Leaving his bed and his furniture in the bedroom, he locked the apartment up. Tim climbed inside the grey suv and leaned back into the seat. He sighed deeply.

Now he had all his belongings packed ... he had no idea where to go or what to do next.