Author's Notes: Yes, I'm still here, and still writing. I had to put this project on hold for a short story publication submission that had a set deadline, so this chapter took a back seat. (Crosses fingers) here's to hoping it was more than a writing exercise. But worry not, dear readers, as I have far too many ideas to just let this little gem go. As always, remember to review.

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply – read the previous chapters for them.

Chapter 5

Souji knew people were looking forward to his return to Inaba. He'd gotten regular texts from all his friends after he'd confirmed his travel plans, and some became more insistent the closer the date came. He also knew how enthusiastic his friends could become when faced with good news, and the part of his brain kick-started by the caffeine was going over possible scenarios and valid responses, preparing contingencies like a tactician planning the defence of the castle walls.

For all the work his brain put into its contingencies, it didn't account for a Nanako-shaped bundle of energy hitting him like a shooting star.

A blur of brown and pink and white, accompanied by a "Big Broooo!" that should have alerted him in a heartbeat, slammed into his midsection before he could take his shoes off at the door. His now-awake reflexes and the comparative lightness of the projectile kept him on his feet. He chuckled, both at his cousin's enthusiasm and the resigned "Nanako…" that came from further in the house, followed by a short laugh, before kneeling into a hug with her.

"Hey Nanako," he murmured, returning the embrace despite his awkward footing and the bags on his back.

"Welcome back, Big Bro!" She was actually vibrating in his arms, drawing another chuckle from him.

"It's good to be home." He stood up and separated from Nanako, kicking off his shoes and donning his house slippers before heading into the living room, a familiar face smiling through a skewed shirt collar and three-day stubble. "Uncle Dojima."

"Souji. Welcome back."

"No place like it."

That drew a bark of a laugh from his uncle. "I doubt that. There must be something in the city that Inaba doesn't have that's caught your attention."

Souji thought of the busy streets, the flashing lights, the crowded subways and crammed cabs and constant noise no matter where he went. He thought of the new friends he'd been making, the minefield that was his high school curriculum, and the small matter of his large issues with his parents. "Maybe. But Inaba has a lot going for it."

"If you say so."

Nanako tugged on his hand, catching the attention of the two males. "Big Bro, are we going to see Yosuke-san and Yukiko-san today?"

Dojima chuckled, rising from his chair. "Soon, Nanako. I think he'll want to drop off his bags first, don't you?" He looked closely at his nephew, catching the bloodshot eyes and sallow cheeks. "I have to be going soon; I'm covering for someone, just for today. I'll make some coffee for you."

Souji nodded gratefully, extracted his hand from Nanako, and went up to his room two stairs at a time.

His room hadn't changed. The desk, table, couch, futon, TV, and models were exactly where he'd left them. Even the smell, crisp dry paper and new rain, was just as he remembered. His clothes and books made their way back to their respective places out of habit and he slipped into the bathroom for a quick shower, and then his cell phone rang as he got back to his room, this time ringing the Junes jangle. Took him long enough.

"This is Seta. How've you been, Yosuke?"

"Dude, you sneak back into town after scaring me like that, saying you can't make it, and don't make me your first stop? I'm seriously hurt."

"My parents are like that. And while you weren't my first stop, how about my second? Are you working?"

"Nah, I'm taking the weekend off. What'd you have in mind?"

Souji heard the door open and close, and Dojima's jeep start and pull out of the driveway. "Nanako and I are on our own for the day, so what say we meet at our special headquarters later on?"

"You sure? You're only here for a few days, so we could spend it somewhere else you know."

"We will, later. And Nanako loves it there. So're you game?"

"Sure thing, leader. When should we meet you?"

"Give me a few hours. I'll text you and the others when we're ready."

"Works for me. See you soon."

"You too."

Souji snapped his phone shut, got changed, and made his way downstairs, where Nanako was already halfway through her coffee and keeping his full mug company at the kitchen table. "Um, Dad had to go to work, and said that he'd try to make it home early tonight."

Souji nodded and sat down beside her, sipping at the steaming brew. Perfect. "And you? Did you have any plans?"

"Um, nope. Toro-kun and Maiki-chan asked me to come play with them tomorrow though."

"Well then, how about coming with me to Junes? We'll need something for dinner, and the others will be there too."

"Junes? Yay! Can we go now?"

Souji laughed. "Not yet. Yosuke's going to clear it with the others, and there are some places I want to go first. Then we'll meet them there. Sound good?" Her delighted laugh was all the answer he needed.

The two spent half an hour talking about what he'd missed in his two months in Kofu, and in return Nanako got a filtered version of his life in the big city. He told her about his new school and the new friends on the basketball team, she told him about what his friends had been up to and how the remaining Investigation Team spent time with her. Souji finished his coffee, grabbed his keys, and headed toward the downtown shopping district with Nanako in tow.

He was halfway to the Konishi Liquor Store when he stopped mid-step. He thought he'd heard a bark or howl from the trees, but didn't see any dogs. His quizzical frown only lasted a moment before a knowing smile broke across his face. "Nanako, have you been to the shrine lately?" When she shook her head, he headed up the stone steps as naturally as breathing.

The shrine itself hadn't changed in the intervening time. The altar and prayer ema were where they had been before, the gold torii and offertory box still gleaming in the sun. He and Nanako made their prayers, tossed some change into the box, and sat on the steps, still talking. Her bubbling laughter and boundless energy brought a constant smile to his face, held so long that his cheeks were starting to hurt. He creaked his neck back, stretched in place, and momentarily felt lost in the endless, unbroken blue above him. Nanako's gasp brought his head down in a snap, but then he smiled for a different reason.

Standing on the steps next to Nanako was the fox, tail swaying and head cocked to the side. The same russet fur, same bib, same intelligent eyes. Nanako edged closer to Souji, but he rested a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay."

"Uh, Big Bro? Do you know her?"

"Yep. We met before I left. I just called it 'the fox'."

"Doesn't she have a name?"

"I'm not sure. I never asked."

Nanako gingerly held out a hand to the shrine animal, trembling lightly. The fox nudged it with its nose, eliciting a startled giggle from the girl and prompting gentle pats on the head and ears after Souji's murmured warning. "Do you have a name, Kitsune-san?" The fox nudged against her hand more and kept quiet. "Does she live here, Big Bro?"

"Seems to. Came and visited me a few times." And charged for magical leafs that had saved the team more than once in the TV world, but Nanako didn't need to know that. Instead she continued petting the fox, and it continued to let her. When she reached the fox's ears, it curled up next to her and laid its head on her lap, giving her all the encouragement she needed. Souji chuckled and kept watching, sitting back against the shrine and stretching his legs.

"Yo! Senpai!"

Souji's head jerked around, half pushing himself up, but then eased back and waved in reply. Nanako, perking up at the familiar voice, giggled and did the same, holding still with the fox nearby. Kanji Tatsumi, reformed punk and sewing extraordinaire, walked toward them, cutting a black shroud out of the grass and bark and stones around them, boots giving an even click click cadence that calmed Souji with its familiarity. "Kanji. How've you been?"

"I'm hangin' in there. Thought I heard your voice up here. How's it goin' on your end?"

"Same as you. Yosuke said we'd meet everyone later, so Nanako and I came to visit the fox."

"Oh yeah. Hey," he waved to the prostrate canine, no stranger to the odd animal. He got a low bark in reply. "You see any of the others yet?"

"Just you. Rise called before I left, gave me a list of things to say to everyone in her place."

"Huh. How's she doin'?"

"Good. Working in and around Tokyo, doing shows, breaking hearts. The usual for Rise."

"Is Rise-chan coming back soon too?" Nanako put in.

"I'm sure she will if she can. I don't know when that'll be though," Souji replied. "How goes the sewing business?"

"It's good. Those dolls're becomin' a big hit. Nanako-chan's been a big help too, tellin' her friends an' spreadin' the word an' all that."

"Really?" Nanako blushed and giggled, still petting the fox, when Souji looked over curiously.

"Yeah, it's been keepin' me busy."

"Good to hear."

"How's the big city? Anythin' like Port Island?"

"Bigger, dirtier, and way more people."

"Huh. Any decent clubs, at least?"

"You mean like Escapade? Probably. Haven't looked much though."

"Why not? Ain't your scene?"

"Hard to go to a club without people to go with, y'know? I've met a few good people there, don't misunderstand, but I'm not ready for that yet."

"'Not ready', huh?"

"Is that odd?"

"Nah, I guess not. Just that Yosuke-senpai and Chie-senpai talk about how fast you all got together to explore the TV world, back in the earlier 'glory days' of the team."

Souji chuckled. "Those were special circumstances. The people I know in Kofu are, in comparison to that, completely normal. No Personas, no Shadows, just school and basketball and girls."

Kanji grunted and leaned back against the railing, looking around the shrine pensively. The minutes passed comfortably and Souji, still wired on caffeine, just soaked in the calm. "Uh, hey Senpai? Could I ask you somethin'?" Kanji was fidgeting, tapping his fingers together and twirling a stick through them. He also made an effort to not meet Souji's eyes.

"You just did." The joke fell flat as Kanji kept fidgeting. "What's up?"

"Uh, you think we could talk sometime before you leave? Like tomorrow or Sunday?"

"Sure. What about?"

"Uh... well..." Kanji glanced nervously at Nanako and the fox, then at his watch, and clamped his fingers together... before twitching them again. "It's kinda..."

Souji knew that tone, that look, and he fell into his role instinctively, still comfortable after a two month absence. "I understand. The tables and bench on the hill, Sunday afternoon?"

"Uh yeah," Kanji's fingers stopped their fidgeting and the tension in his shoulders, which Souji hadn't noticed earlier, retreated. "Thanks Senpai."

"I haven't done anything yet," Souji pointed out.

"No but... It'll be good to have someone to talk to at least, y'know?"

Souji was cut off by a text message on his cell. Reading it over, he slipped the phone back in his pocket and turned to Nanako and Kanji. "Yosuke and the others are heading for Junes. Shall we go?"

The pair nodded and rose, but not before Nanako patted the fox once more. "Goodbye for now, Kitsune-san. I'll come play with you later, okay?" The fox cocked its head curiously, glanced at Souji, then nodded once before scampering behind the shrine with a parting howl. "Do you think she understood me?" Nanako asked.

Souji gave a wry half-smile. "There's no doubt in my mind."

Yosuke, Teddie, Chie, Yukiko, and Naoto were already at a table when they arrived. Nanako scrambled into the chair nearest to Teddie, Kanji glanced at Naoto before looking sheepishly away and taking a chair near Chie, and Souji was bombarded by the team as soon as they saw him.

Yosuke's open smile, wink, and "hey partner" was followed by Naoto's warm chuckle and polite nod. Chie walked up to him simply to deck him in the shoulder and offer a hearty "welcome back" while Teddie, enthusiastic as ever and dressed in his regal finery, wildly waved his arms, bubbling "Sensei" at every chance. Then Yukiko stood to face him.

Everything around him came to a standstill. The miles and months fell away, and all their phone calls and text messages came to the forefront of his mind. She was in her usual red cardigan, scarf, and barrette, the colour burning into eyes too used to the grey of the city. She waited, hesitant at her chair as though worried, but her eyes were open to him, bright and smiling and conveying every word and whisper they'd ever shared. The world fell away, all concerns and doubts, dim as they were, too far away to reach them. Souji felt himself planted in the ground, unable and unwilling to move and break this perfect moment-

-until Teddie, enthusiastically flailing about for Nanako's benefit, smacked into Yosuke, which provoked a sharp cuff to his shoulder in retaliation. It spurred Nanako to ask something of Chie that was lost in the scuffle, but stained the martial artist's cheeks red nonetheless. The table erupted in pandemonium as Kanji started to talk hesitantly to Naoto, who was occupied with trying to calm Yosuke down. Teddie, in his efforts to get away from Yosuke, tilted dangerously toward Nanako, but swerved into Chie in last-second damage control. This resulted in Chie going stiff as a plank when she felt where Teddie's hands landed. The side closest to the enamoured pair exploded in a fury of verbosity and vitriol that put Yosuke's worst fight to shame. Chie chased, Teddie ran. Yosuke looked dumbfounded at the turn of events, Kanji observed as detached as ever, Nanako laughed joyously, and Naoto tried to tell the girl, between hidden bursts of mirth, that it wasn't funny.

Souji and Yukiko jerked, the moment broken, and she giggled at the sight of their friends. Souji's face broke in a smile and he shook his head. "It figures."

"You came back for all this?" she asked, stepping closer and watching them, much as the other occupied tables were.

Souji shook his head, though she couldn't see it, and moved next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and turned her to face him. "Not just them, no." Their eyes met again, and this time it was his that did the communicating, trying to tell her without words what seeing her meant to him. That the time he'd spent away from her dragged by and felt as monotonous as a metronome, that seeing her again made any obstacle worth the challenge to overcome. If her lowered eyes, slow blush, and small but widening smile were any indication, she knew. "I missed you," he said, pulling her into a close embrace, burying his nose into her hair, soft as clouds and sweet-smelling as liquorice.

Her arms wrapped and tightened around him, fingers moving across his back as though testing how real he was. "I missed you too." She peered up at him, head cocked. "You had me worried when you said you couldn't make it. What was the problem?"

Thoughts of Kofu and his parents, cold and hard, swept over him, trying to steal away the colourful haze enveloping him. He let the memories pass by and shook his head. "It's a long story. My parents and I… Our living arrangements are a bit of a mess right now. We're not used to being around each other, and a lot of things have changed since I got back. There are some growing pains that need to be worked out."

"Are you alright?"

He tightened his hold on her, trying to keep his grip on the warmth she stirred in him. "I am now." He threw his best, most charming smile at her, one that hadn't failed to turn her red and fidgety during their time alone at Christmas.

She didn't buy it. "I meant back there."

He sighed, resigning himself to topics he'd been trying to run from since April. "I will be. It's just going to take some time."

"You're sure?" She reached up to brush his bangs back, knuckles grazing his face. He moved closer to them on reflex, part of his stomach curling like a happy cat at the contact. "Because I'm here. Whatever you're going through, you don't have to do it alone."

That was the hard part – the stark cold reality that he couldn't outrun, that part of him, a very large part, wanted to keep his old life, the person he was with his parents, as far from Inaba as humanly possible. His best idea had been isolation and distance, that by not talking to the people of one life about those in the other, he might succeed long enough for his old life to become irrelevant. But the problem, he recognized, was that those he cared for and loved wouldn't wait forever and happily accept his half-truths and evasions. Yukiko wouldn't allow for a hole in his past, a gap that consisted of his first sixteen years of life, to be left unfilled. Naoto, when he talked to her in Kofu, had proven that his life wasn't as easily separated as he wanted. His efforts might have worked for a while, but when he looked to his heart of hearts, he knew he was doing everything by himself for himself. And they, the Investigation Team as a whole, had made battle tactics and new ways of life of never going it alone. He'd have to change something, and knowing it didn't make it any easier.

Soon. He'd start working on that soon. But not yet. Not now.

Souji pulled her closer, and the world fell away a little bit again. He moved a hand up to cup her cheek. The warmth sent tingles up his arm, and part of his brain cursed his gloves and scars. "I know. I'm sorry about earlier."

"Will you let me help you?"

"I'll try." He grunted ruefully. "It's not going to be easy, but I'll try."

"I'll hold you to that."

It was then that Nanako moved next to him and tugged on his jacket, bringing two pairs of eyes down to meet hers. "Big Bro? I was going to get some food, did you and big sis Yukiko want anything?"

Yukiko's startled expression was priceless, a mix of startled embarrassment and bemused humour with a touch of laughter mixed in. Souji wished he could have caught the moment with his camera, but it was not to be. The rest of the table had calmed down a notch. Chie was still doing an excellent impression of a tomato, sitting ramrod straight in her chair and glaring knives and broken glass at Teddie who, for once, was subdued and silent. Yosuke looked supremely uncomfortable in between the two, Kanji was sketching what looked like clothing designs on nearby napkins, and Naoto was watching Teddie and Chie closely, prepared to move in a heartbeat if a repeat of the previous meltdown seemed imminent. "Sure Nanako, let's go."

He separated from Yukiko and linked hands with her and his cousin, heading toward the food counter. Yosuke, feeling like a lightning rod without a ground, sprang up to join them, as did Chie with heavy footfalls and huffs and mutters about a new bear rug. "So…" Yukiko started, "did the others want anything?"

"I'll go check," Yosuke volunteered, giving Chie a wide berth.

"'Bis sis'?" Souji murmured to Yukiko with a cocked eyebrow, revelling in the blush it resulted in.

"I-it's the first time she's said that to me."

"She did say you hang out with her a lot."

Yosuke returned, still walking wide around Chie, and the group headed toward the food counters, collected lunch, and returned to the table.

"We have to do something to welcome Sensei back!" Teddie mentioned when they were halfway through their meals.

"Hn? Like what?" Kanji muttered around a mouthful of rib.

"That would be appropriate," Naoto mentioned around her much more dainty servings, "but we haven't planned anything, nor do we have the supplies for a celebration."

Souji blinked owlishly, than shook his head. "You don't need to throw a party for me, you know. If we celebrate every time I come back to Inaba, we're all going to be broke before the year's out."

"Not just your return, but a belated birthday party too!" Chie exclaimed. The others at the table turned to him in varying degrees of enthusiasm (Teddie and Nanako) and curiosity (Yukiko and Kanji).

That threw him into a tailspin. "Uh… Where'd you learn about my birthday?"

"Dojima-san told me," she said, a good-natured scowl on her face. "You could have mentioned it before, you know."

"I was adjusting to Kofu all of April, Chie."

"And last year?"

"It was before I moved, and I didn't even know any of you then. Give me a break."

"When is your birthday, Senpai?" Naoto inquired.

"April 4th."

"You're serious?" Yosuke demanded. "You didn't even tell us?"

"C'mon," Souji began, "it's not that big a deal."

"Wrong! It's damn important! In fact, I agree: we're having a party to celebrate it. Today!" his unofficial second-in-command declared.

"Then we'll have to do it right," Chie agreed, "and that means on-site cooking." She either ignored the sudden silence and reflexive stiffening of the three males at the table, or didn't notice. "We'll go get the ingredients. Come on, Yukiko."

Souji's chest clenched while a cold sweat broke out over his body. Yes, the girls had made an excellent Christmas cake, but nothing, not time, better experiences, or alcohol, could banish those memories. Unbidden, the numbers crunched furiously in his head. One successful attempt, though it was their third and the result of a group effort, on one side of the tally, while on the other was two helpings of Mystery Food X, three omelette experiments, and one botched bento attempt from Yukiko that he swore was still sitting like a lump of concrete in his stomach. The scales and odds didn't need to teeter or shift, nor did the probabilities need to be completely computed before he opened his mouth. "I'll come too. I'll make a list as we go."

"What? No, the party's for you. We can't make you cook for yourself."

"Chie-san does have a point, Senpai," Naoto put in, an eyebrow raised. "It is rather unorthodox to make the focus of the celebration cook the meals."

"I don't mind," he replied immediately, getting up from his chair and finishing his lunch on his feet.

What a picture they must have made, he thought later as they made their way back to the Dojima residence. Yosuke was staggering under an awkward tripod briquette barbecue with Teddie, carrying as little as the team members would allow, in tow. Nanako and Yukiko had their hands and arms full with vegetables and seasonings (the list of which had been fine-tuned by Souji), Naoto had volunteered to carry the tofu side-dishes, and Kanji and Chie were weighed down by the main ingredients of the voted-upon dish – meat. Steaks and chicken pieces and sausages (mostly Chie's idea) bulged from bags and sacks as the team made their way down the street, chatting as lively as a circus troupe. The comparison wasn't far from the mark, Souji decided when he looked over them – all different heights and colours and tones. Only Rise's absence made the Team incomplete, and that void, part of him knew, was temporary. He'd been forcibly deprived of any bags or burdens by everyone else, who'd pitched in to cover the cost of the groceries as well. He'd be cooking (and for the sake of the food they'd bought, he would be cooking), so his contribution to the group would come soon enough.

As soon as they reached the Dojima residence, the team immediately started discussing (it sounded like arguing to Souji) who would be doing what. It didn't take long before Chie's menu ideas came to light, and Yosuke's objections rose in half a second. References to Mystery Food X and the cake the girls'd made for Nanako immediately made their way to the fore of the verbal field, arguments over how much they'd practiced and how lucky they were in the van, and the question of luck or skill being more important held in reserve. Souji, Investigation Team leader and diplomatic extraordinaire, started unpacking the groceries. Some stayed on the counter, some went into the fridge, others wound up on the table, and others still were left for later. When Chie stepped in , arguing that he shouldn't be cooking a meal made in his own honour, he'd replied with "of course not. I'm just getting started, but the barbecue's going to need time to heat up, right?". Other objections to his having a hand in the meals met such responses as "sure, that sounds good, but the recipe says...", "if we're going to eat it later on, then it should be left until...", and "if we cut it like that, it might taste like...". Suggestions were made, people were directed, and soon enough Kanji and Chie were hovering by the barbecue on the deck, Naoto was cutting up the salad, and Yukiko and Yosuke were tending to cutlery and drinks. Teddie's experience (lack of) and Nanako's enthusiasm put them at the living room table, relaying messages back and forth between cooking stations. And at the heart and nerve centre of the team stood Souji, cooking and cutting and directing and seasoning and wanting to be nowhere else for it. Soon the house smelled of mirin sauce and roasting meats and fruit drinks, and the Team was scattered about, feasting on the bounties of Souji's talent.

"Man," Yosuke groaned, leaning back against the couch. "Never mind our wallets. If we do this every time you come back, we'll never keep the weight off." Less than half the food had been used, still waiting in containers and the fridge, and they'd resolved to use the rest at the Inn the next day.

"Tell me about it." Chie gazed longingly at the last slab of steak on her plate, her taste buds warring with her full stomach over whether just one more bite would hurt. The others lay back in similar repose, sated and lethargic from an early lunch that'd rivalled most dinner buffets.

"There's a trick to it," Souji told them modestly, sipping at his fruit smoothie slowly, enjoying every drop and looking as calm as ever, as though untouched by the amount of food he'd put away. "Seriously though, you didn't have to eat it all."

"Impossible not to," Kanji grunted. "It's right up there with Ma's cookin', and that ain't easy."

"I concur," Naoto murmured. She missed Yosuke's eyes light up from across the room like street lamps.

"Oh? When've you had Kanji's mother's food, Naoto-kun? Something you haven't told us yet?"

"I-I-" Naoto stammered, jerking as if shocked by a live wire.

"Wh-what the hell're you blabbin' about?" Kanji jumped in, half off the floor and mostly red.

"Well, that's what it sounded like, right Yukiko-san?"

"Um, I had Kanji-kun's mother's food several times when we were children," she replied.

"Uh, I don't think that's what they meant," Chie ventured.

"I simply meant that Senpai is an excellent cook, Yosuke-senpai," Naoto clarified with narrow eyes, completely in control once again. "I was agreeing with the sentiment, not the situation."

"Uh-huh, riiiiight." Yosuke smirked and winked at her from his place on the floor. Kanji looked ready to jump up and throttle him when the door clacked open.

"I'm home- whoa. Souji, how many people'd you invite home this time?"

"Just my friends from before, Uncle Dojima," the teen replied, smoothly (to the envy of at least half the people in his house) rising to greet the man. "We just finished lunch, actually. Are you hungry? Or do you have to leave soon?"

"No, I'm done for the day. Said I'd be back early, didn't I?" The detective shook off his shoes and came into the kitchen, looking appraisingly at the teens sprawled on his floor and the remnants of their feast.

"You did indeed."

"Welcome home, Dad!" Nanako rushed up, shaking off her sluggishness in a wink.

"Hey Nanako. What've you got going here?"

"We're having a birthday party for Big Bro!"

"Belated party," Souji corrected a touch bashfully when his uncle gave him a knowing smirk.

"I see. What did you make?"

The day went on from there.

"Jeez," Yosuke sighed, "you didn't have to make all that, you know. Something small would've been just fine." The two were outside, letting the conversation in the house go where it would while everyone geared up for dinner. The Inaba evening painted splashes of golds and purples and vibrant reds across the sky.

"I'm not worried – I'll make all of you clean up before you leave," Souji replied, leaning back against the fence and staring upward. "So how've you been, Yosuke?"

"Hm? Me? It's only been two months dude, you think I'm gonna change that much?"

"Two months without a murder case, abductions, or fog from the TV world," Souji pointed out. "How're you taking the quiet?"

Yosuke shrugged. "It hasn't completely hit me yet, but I don't think I'll mind. I haven't forgotten our discussion."

Souji smiled. Their talks at Junes, Yosuke's resolve to live in Inaba, and their fight on the riverbank returned to his mind and made his jaw throb. It felt like, despite the team still calling him "Leader", he could let it go and stop worrying over them. For the time, anyway. "That's good. And the others? I've already talked to Yukiko and Kanji, so how're Chie and Naoto and Teddie?"

Yosuke shrugged and flicked his thumb across the MP3 player at his waist. "Teddie's still working at Junes and keeping an eye on the TV world. No changes from last time you saw it. Chie's more gung-ho about her kung-fu than ever, and Naoto's been working cases by correspondence. Seems she's decided to put down roots here."

"Her grandfather's here," Souji added, "so I imagine she'll be here for a while longer."

"Good. I get the feeling she needs it. Stability, friends, you know."

"And the chance to act her age."

Yosuke chuckled, looking over with one eye closed. "I think we all deserve that, but seriously, you're one to talk. I don't think you've changed a bit since you left."

"Oh?"

"You're still concerned with everyone else and never giving yourself a break. Yukiko-san was right about you not needing to go it alone, you know."

Souji glanced skyward, letting the quiet of an Inaba weekend flow over him. "Easier said than done. Before it was exams, practice in the TV world, abductions and a murder case, and now its parents, classmates, and still more exams. I guess nothing's really changed for me in that respect."

"Hm. Maybe you're not meant to slow down that much."

Souji shrugged, still looking up. "Maybe. Who knows?"

"Think someone out there's gonna ease off you soon?"

"Doesn't matter if they do; I'm not staying in Kofu or Tokyo."

"Got something in mind?"

"Here." He said it immediately and with such conviction that it never occurred to Yosuke to doubt him. "I want to come back here. It's probably going to take a while, but this is where I belong."

Yosuke glanced at him, looking almost impressed. "For Yukiko-san?"

"For everyone." Souji looked over at his friend, eyes bright and burning with resolve. "Before I came here, I went through the motions, did what was expected of me, and never thought twice about it. I never thought there might be something else out there, didn't have a reason to. Out here, I'm not some corporate ladder-climber's son or next in line for a finance or government position. You're the first friends I've ever really had, and I'm not letting that go."

Yosuke shook his head. "Before the TV world, I would've said you're nuts, wanting to stay here. Now, I think I see where you're coming from. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"Likewise."

"Really? Don't you think you've done enough for all of us?"

"Doesn't mean I can't do more."

Yosuke laughed and switched songs again. "You really don't run out of surprises, man." An easy silence fell over them, both lost in the familiarity and quiet around them. Souji closed his eyes and let it soak in, trying to store as much serenity as he could, while he could. Time stretched, the chatter from inside the house blended in with the dull roar of traffic and evening birdsong, turning out an ambiance that almost lulled him to sleep. Because of this, he didn't hear Yosuke fidgeting, or see him turn and face him. "Hey." The brunette's tone was deeper, hesitant and edgy. Souji's eyes popped open immediately. "Can I ask you something?"

First Kanji, now Yosuke. "Shoot."

Yosuke paused. Then hedged. And then shuffled, twitched, and breathed out. Finally, "you ever have trouble sleeping? From nightmares or anything?"

Souji blinked, his face blank. "Sure. Usually after a horror movie marathon, or a bad batch of American deep-fried chicken.

"I meant from the TV."

Oh. Right. Souji shifted uncomfortably, his ambiance and tranquility slamming into a truck and dying painfully on the highway while his memories traipsed forward, wreathed in grey fog and fear. "Sometimes," he replied, his voice darker, heavier with the weight of the burden the whole team shared.

"Yeah, me too. Sometimes." Yosuke's voice was bland, flat as week-old soda left open and untouched."

"Want to talk about it?" The brunette turned away, fingers clenching rhythmically. He didn't answer, but didn't leave or shut down the topic either. "I'll start?" A Pause. Hesitance. Then a shaky nod. "It's worst when it rains. Every time I hear it rain, especially at night, the memories come back." Souji checked the door, accounted for all the voices – this was too personal to share, or at least right now - , then let the words out. "I have nightmares about Yukiko and Kanji, Rise, Naoto, even you and Chie. It's always about what might've happened if we hadn't been there to save them. What they might've gone through. Or, sometimes, that we failed and died in the TV, and what would've happened afterwards. The fog, the Shadows, Ameno-Sagiri and Izanami, things like that."

Yosuke shivered – despite the twilight, it wasn't cold out. "You're our leader," he muttered, and this time the words weren't spouted cheerfully. Instead they were heavy and thick as molasses, like when the Team stood before Namatame, on the verge of passing judgement on their enemy, knowing or not. "I guess it makes sense that you'd be worried about our success."

"The worst nights…" Souji broke off, feeling the words cut into his throat like metal barbs, refusing to come out. He tried. They stuck even harder. You have to, he reminded himself. You won't get another chance like this.

Yosuke must've noticed the effort, or guessed what we was going to say and didn't want to hear it. "You don't need to-"

"The worst nights-" the words were ragged, painful, and shook as the images and screams flooded his brain "-are when I remember Nanako, and Namatame." Nothing. Silence. "I keep seeing that car wreck, keep hearing her voice in Heaven, remembering…" his hands were shaking now, even clenched until the knuckles were white and the nails bit into the leather on his palms, "when she died. And I couldn't do anything."

Silence reigned between the two. "Dude…"

"I wake up around then, never know where I am. And all I can think is how I should've been there."

"Hey." Yosuke punched him lightly in the shoulder, catching his attention. "You did what you could. You were in an interrogation room, remember? And if the doctors couldn't save her, then neither could you."

"Doesn't matter," Souji responded flatly.

"Like hell it doesn't. None of us caught it either."

Souji wanted to keep going, to bare the pain that haunted his nights and wallow in his anger, but he stopped. It wasn't just about him. Yosuke'd started the discussion, so obviously the Team leader wasn't the only one with baggage. "You?"

Yosuke tapped broken tempos on the fence boards, his eyes distant and pained. "Adachi," he muttered finally. "Everything we went through being a game for that sick bastard, and Saki-senpai's murder, those were all the reasons I needed to fight him. But seeing him down there, hearing him talk, it scared me. You remember the fight?" Souji grimaced – his left hand and right shoulder twisted and writhed painfully at the memory. "I've never felt that kind of evil coming off someone before. None of the Shadows were like that."

Yosuke had a point. So often the Shadows had felt twisted and chaotic, reflections of the inner turmoil from which they were born. Powerful and dangerous, without a doubt, but without direction or focus beyond immediate aggression.

Adachi had been different. Raw malevolence and hate had flowed off him like a gagging odour, focused and tangible and all the more terrifying because, unlike the Shadows, there was a human will directing it. "My hands were shaking the whole time," Yosuke admitted. "Sometimes I'm back there, alone or with you and the others hurt or dead, and I can't escape. It's worse when I remember Izanami." He shuddered. His words became clipped, pained. "Dying was… well, it makes for some bad nights."

Guilt arose in Souji. Of all the experiences the Investigation Team had gone through, that was one he couldn't share.

"Sometimes I think Rise's shadow killed us," he trailed off, "that Teddie wasn't there to save us, or that his shadow did us in. Chie's the same."

"You've talked to her about it?" Souji inquired.

"Once or twice. She said she was fine at night, but that going to the lion exhibit at the zoo with her parents almost gave her a heart attack. Same with the mantas or any large fish. She wouldn't talk about Izanami at all when I asked. Yukiko-san's trigger is masks."

"Masks? How'd you find out about that?"

"Chie was at a theatre production with her, and they were using masks as props. Noh masks, I think she called them. Chie said Yukiko got sick after seeing some of them, and they both ditched the place early. I'm not sure about Kanji, Rise, or Naoto, and I don't know if Teddie even has scars like that."

Souji struggled with his words when Yosuke fell silent. What could he say to that? What could anyone say to a friend who'd died in that last battle and then come back? "I… I see." He winced; that sounded even worse out loud than it did in his head.

Yosuke didn't notice, or pretended not to. "You think it'll get better?"

"I don't know," Souji murmured. "I want to think that time and better memories will be enough, but I really don't know."

"We won, but no one got away without scars. You never hear about those in the movies, do you? The hero's supposed to walk off with the girl without a scratch, on to the next adventure. Not wake up screaming in the middle of the night, cramped from old injuries and scars."

"Life's not a movie though. Not even after so much time in the TV."

Yosuke chuckled, more cheerfully than before. "No kidding. I mean, you got a girl out of it, so maybe it's not all lies, right?"

"Hm. Maybe. You did too though, no? You say you got all that information from Chie, right?"

"What? Aw, no way man! Not cool!" Souji laughed, the grip of his memories easing off a little. Yosuke's eyes were similarly brighter, despite the haunted look around the edges. "Hey. Thanks. For the talk, I mean. It helped."

Souji held out a hand, which was immediately taken in a rough grip. "Any time, Yosuke. I mean it."

"Yeah. You too." He checked his watch, sniffing toward the door. "The food smells like it'll be ready soon. Shall we?"

"After you."

The rest of the evening passed by in a blur of laughter and antics. Chie stared Teddie off of her side of the table, instead surrounding herself with Nanako and Naoto. Teddie, utterly unfazed, kept Nanako entertained while Kanji and Yosuke were left dodging his elbows and flailing hands every now and then. Dojima rested back on the couch, looking over the teens invading his house with a calm, level smile, at ease as Souji had only seen him a few times before. Souji himself was barraged with off-key birthday songs, belated well-wishes, and ideas for what he should have gotten for every one of his missed birthdays, the suggestions getting larger in size and explanations more ludicrous as the evening progressed. Throughout it all, his hand was entwined with Yukiko's on the floor between them. Much the same as the afternoon, time flew by and he wouldn't have been anywhere else if the option were available.

The rest of the food finally disappeared, and the team stayed only long enough to help clean up before going their separate ways, extracting promises of visiting the Amagi Inn the next day. Nanako was napping on the couch, curled up to Dojima's lap like a kitten, by the time the door closed the last time.

"What a crowd," Dojima whispered quietly. Souji nodded, stepping out of the way when his uncle picked up his slumbering cousin and padded to her room, returning several minutes later. "Coffee?"

"No thanks. Any more caffeine and I'll never get to sleep. Don't mind me though."

Dojima grunted before heading to the kitchen. Souji slumped into a chair by the table, feeling every minute of the past two days wearing on his feet. Still, it would take two men with a crowbar and a sledgehammer to get the grin off his face. Seeing everyone again made it worth the argument with his parents and the lousy sleep on the train. His head was still full of Yukiko's scent from their parting embrace. His hand still tingled where they'd touched. Totally worth it.

"So how're you holding up?" Dojima asked, sitting across from him, pulling Souji from his lethargic reverie. "How's the family in Kofu?"

Souji grunted, shifting in his seat. "About the same as before they left for America. Living by their phones, making plans months in advance, the usual."

"You're getting along, at least?"

"Yep, but it's hard not to get along with people who're never there. They go to the office every morning, I go to school, sometimes they're home that night, sometimes not. Rinse and repeat."

Dojima frowned. "Izumi said the trip to the States was going to be the end of it, that she was going to ease up on the work." He frowned even more when Souji's smile dissolved and broke into a humourless, almost mocking, laugh.

"I've been hearing that for years. Hasn't happened yet. There's always 'just one more project', and then it starts all over again. Dad's worse. Mind you, he's never said he'd stop, but he has cots and wardrobe chests at work."

"And you're okay with that?"

Souji stared at him blankly, grey eyes wide and blinking mechanically like headlights. "As opposed to what? It's always been this way. I don't expect them to change for my sake; I wouldn't know what to do with them if they were around more often."

"Izumi knows better. You're her son, Souji." Dojima's fingers tightened around his mug, his scowl sinking into the careless liquid.

Heedless of this, the teen gave a careless shrug. "They forget details like that."

"That's not the point!" Dojima's tone was sharp as a drawn blade, though quiet for Nanako's sake. It jerked Souji up in his chair and caught his attention. "You're family. They're your parents. You told me that family's too important to run away from, remember? So why doesn't this bother you?"

Souji was silent for a while. The answer was right there, at the front of his mind as soon as Dojima asked. He paused, searched and prodded the reason, unsure if it was, in fact, that simple. But nothing else came up. "It's always been this way, Dojima. They've always been busy, and I'm a secondary priority to them. Teacher meetings, school events, basketball games, everything else. You and Nanako had something before I got here. There was somewhere for you to go, something to improve on. Me, there's nothing there to begin with. So 30% more nothing is still nothing."

"Coming from you, Souji, that's pretty pathetic. You sound like it's not worth the effort to change."

"Because it isn't. In two or three years, I'll be at university somewhere, and they'll still be married to their jobs and bump into each other at the house every now and then. They'll forget about me, and I'll go on with my life as I desire. I'm okay with that." Dojima struggled with it, the calm, casual acceptance in Souji's voice, the detachment, all coming from someone who'd fought tooth and nail for his uncle and cousin.

"They're not going to forget about you; give them a little credit."

"Hm. You're right. Perhaps 'forget' is the wrong word for it. I'll be remembered intellectually, I'm sure. My parents will be able to say they have a son to their associates and business partners – I mean, it makes them look better – but I don't expect things to change. I doubt I'll get visits when I move out, or phone calls or messages for anything not work- or school-related. That's what I meant. They'll go on with their lives, I'll go on with mine, and we might cross paths every now and again. Like train tracks."

"That's… it's wrong, Souji. You deserve better than that."

"Does it mean that much to you?"

"You're family; of course it does. How much have you told them about Inaba?"

"Nothing." Succinct. To the point. That same detached tone. "They never asked, and there are a lot of things I don't want to tell them about."

"And people? Like the Amagi girl?"

"They especially don't need to know about her. Or anyone else here. But, if it's so important, let me turn it around – what was my mother like?"

Dojima paused, surprised by the switch in questioning. "What?"

"I'm serious. You probably know her a lot better than I do. Where did she go to school? What were her interests? How did she become like she is now?"

The air froze on the older man's side of the table. What questions for a teenager to ask his uncle, a man he hadn't known but for a name a year and a half ago. "I haven't seen her in… since a bit after Nanako was born."

"But you grew up with her, knew her before and after she got married, right?"

The silence that followed belonged in a courtroom doling out a death sentence; long, uncomfortable, stifling. Grey and brown eyes met across the table, neither flinching. Dojima knew he should be used to this. Souji never was one to take answers without questioning them or sharing his mind on them. It was why he respected the teen. "Izumi was…" Dojima scanned the ceiling as though it held all his answers. "She was always ambitious when we were growing up. Driven and capable, but she knew it and never let it change her. I always remember her pestering our parents for their bank statements. She had a knack for numbers even then."

"That hasn't changed."

"Hm. She was popular in school, but not for why you might expect." Dojima looked expectantly at his nephew and sipped his coffee.

Souji cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, I'll bite. I'd guess it's because she knew math and finances inside and out, so she tutored or something." More silence. "She didn't charge for doing other peoples' homework, did she? She could probably make a killing at it."

"She had an amazing singing voice. Choir and music studies. She played the flute like a master."

Singing voice. Tantalizing, tempting, those fragments of memory brushed his mind. Comfort, security, and threads of a song he'd never heard before or since. Never a face or scent to tie to the memory, just feelings and sounds. Souji shook his head and cleared his throat. "Singing. Really."

Dojima cut through his evasiveness with a hard stare. "She sang to you when you were younger than Nanako. Don't you remember?"

"Vaguely. I haven't heard it recently. Please, go on."

More silence. Then a grunt. "She was always among friends. She rarely had a bad word for anyone, and never got tangled up in school politics. You seem to share her gift for flying under the radar."

"Hm. Among other things."

"Seems so. Then she went off to college, met your father, and got fast tracked into the world of business."

"That's when things changed?"

"Not right away. Yuuma wasn't the cause for that, not in the way you think. He fed her genius for numbers and statistics while she kept him on his toes. No matter what they might be like now, they started off as two lovesick teens. Honestly, the way they went about together, it was enough to make me sick." Dojima smirked and gave his nephew a pointed look. "Even more so than you and Amagi." Souji cocked an eyebrow, trying for nonchalance but failing when a blush dusted his cheeks. "Yuuma was the one who introduced her to business as an extension of her own studies. She graduated at the top of her class, but he was a year behind her. She got into finance and banking to support his business ventures when he completed his practicum, and they were thick as thieves the whole time. Figuratively speaking."

Souji gave a thin smile. "Of course."

"After that, they moved in together, got married, and then you were born few years later. Izumi took time off to raise you while Yuuma kept climbing the corporate ladder, and that's when I saw you for the first time. I never thought Izumi would've taken to work as much as you say she has. She loved you, Souji. She used to twitch when Chisato played with you, and was very particular about who got to hold you."

"How did she and Aunt Chisato get along?"

"Nanako is her mother's daughter, no question. Chisato was always friendly to her, but never really connected like we did. Granted, Izumi's my sister, but Chisato said, more than once, that she pitied you. That Izumi would let go eventually, and forget to grab back on again. Those two were cut from the same bale of paper, so I thought they'd had a spat and Chisato was venting. I watched my sis with you, and never would've thought she'd become as distant as she has."

Souji caught the wistful tone in his uncle's voice. "You still don't, do you?"

"It's hard for me to imagine her being as distant as you say, Souji." He held up a hand, cutting his nephew's words off. "I'm not saying you're lying, or that Chisato was wrong back then. It's just that I haven't seen Izumi since before Chisato died. I can't say one way or the other why she is how she is."

"If that's the case, I doubt seeing her would change anything," Souji pointed out. "What about my father? I haven't heard a single bad thing said about him yet."

"Is that what you're looking for? My bad experiences with him? Are you trying to validate your own opinions?"

"Pfft. Hardly. I think many things about the man, and very few are complimentary. What you say won't change that." Again, Souji's dissociation from his parents struck a raw chord in Dojima. His nephew, who had become a loving big brother to Nanako, who had all his friends invade the house to give him a proper birthday party, had no business sounding so jaded. "Besides, I doubt he was precisely what you wanted to see my mother hook up with and marry when you met him."

"Hm. I'll give you that."

"So, while we're on the topic of family, what was he like?"

"Self-assured. That's the first word that comes to mind. I never got the feeling that his goals weren't attainable when he talked about them, no matter what I thought before or after. I guess it annoyed me when I was getting to know him. He'd be thinking six steps ahead, but he never talked about it, so I would think he was running on half-baked ideas and blind luck, when everything was planed to a T. After a while, I just stopped asking. Things seemed to work out for him, even when they didn't."

"How did my mother factor into his plans? You said they met in university, so they didn't know of each other before then, right?"

"I don't think they knew each other before then, no. As for his plans, I don't know. Whatever they were, either she fit in perfectly, or he adjusted to make them fit her."

Souji snorted, not bothering to mask the contempt in his voice. "Him changing plans for family. That would be a first."

"This was more than twenty years ago."

"Hmph. Please, continue."

"I never got the feeling that he was wrong for Izumi, which was odd because I met a fair share of the idiots who followed her around before then. Mind you, that doesn't mean I had any good feelings about him either. Regardless, Yuuma was always respectful, almost to the point of sounding like a corporate manager looking for a career position. Chisato didn't like him; said he was too polished."

"Oh?"

"She said once that he was so urbane and well-mannered that it oozed off him until he shone in the light. She hated his business sense and dedication, thought it was all he focused on and that his family was becoming less of a priority to him. I wasn't sure what to make of it back then, but she said he disliked the familiar and commonplace, that his competitiveness was his real love."

"I would've liked to have met her; she sounds very observant."

"She was," Dojima sighed ruefully. "More often than not, she was dead on. Not always, but lots of times. I think I could see it too, back then. He never talked about you, for instance, no matter how often Chisato or I would raise the topic. Whether it was inexperience or discomfort, he'd always dodge the issue. It made him a bad source of information when we wanted to know how you were growing up, and you can guess how Chisato would've taken that."

"So I was a footnote in his life plans?" There was no self-pity or rancour in his voice. Just an observation.

"I don't know. It was your mom's plan to have kids someday, but she talked about it less as time went on. Yuuma always talked about climbing the ladder, and she started to sound the same over the years. And then you were born, and she doted on you right from the start."

"Maybe she's like my father – she got bored. I mean, people change. Not always for the better."

Dojima glared again, though Souji stared right back this time. "Watch your mouth Souji. That is my sister you're talking about."

"She's also my mother. I'd like to think I've deserved more than being an idle concern of hers all these years, something to pass the time that only shows up on occasion. But I don't. It's her life, she can do what she wants." Souji could see Dojima stiffening up, preparing for another barrage. He also felt his exhaustion pulling him into the seat, weighing him down like an anchor tied to his chest. He held up his hands, palms out. "Enough. Please. This discussion's going nowhere. I don't want to start a fight over my parents, especially when I'm only here for a few days."

His uncle held back his retort, not expecting the teen to concede so quickly. Part of him, the brother, wanted to defend his elder sister to the end. The uncle in him, however, the part that connected with this lonely teen trying to build a life for himself after spending so long on the lives of others, was unwilling to spend their limited time on vitriol. So he held his tongue and sat back in his chair. Silence fell over the room, though it was more comfortable this time.

Souji stretched in his seat, then pulled himself out of it. "Well, I'm going to bed," he said through a yawn, creaking his neck in the process.

Dojima tossed back the last of his coffee and stood up as well. "Yeah, not a bad idea. Did it help?"

"Which? The talk?" Dojima nodded. "Sort of. It's nice to hear you talk about Nanako's mom. I know that can't have been easy."

His uncle shifted and glanced away. "It's… easier these days."

"Good. I'm glad. Still, it was interesting; I didn't know my mother played the flute."

"That's what you picked up, out of all that? Chisato's opinion of your parents, and your mother playing the flute?"

Souji glanced at Dojima, then sighed. "It's all it can be, uncle. Knowing how she used to be doesn't change how she is now. She didn't change before I came here last year, she didn't change when I saw her in Kofu, and I'll bet money that she's not going to have changed when I go back."

"She might surprise you. She's human, after all, and might come around."

"Perhaps. Maybe. G'night."

"Good night."

Souji made his way up the stairs and to his room, padding quietly past Nanako's room, and barely folded out his futon before collapsing on it, fatigue crawling up around him in an embrace like thick fog.

The last thought that passed his mind after flashing through the 24 hours, from the ups of seeing Nanako, Yukiko, and his friends again, to the downs of his conversations with Yosuke and Dojima, was Geez… What a day.