My God! TWO updates in 24 hours...I know what you're thinking...the OCD is back! This isn't the best thing I've ever written but it sets up the next chapter which you may or may not be happy to know is a flashback to the glory days when Pete and Allie were together, Matt was still a bastard and Lara was still alive! Even so, review would be much appreciated! The last lot were so lovely, thank you to everyone who took the time to write a couple of lines and make my day! Enjoy!

For Allie Dunham, the walk across to South Bank had never been anything short of romantic; the Thames foot bridge was shimmering even in the day light, the buzz of over eager post Christmas shoppers enveloping her as she padded down the steps towards the National Theatre and its surrounding restaurants, her eyes trained on the back of his jacket, trying to work out if going five minutes without saying a word was a record for them.

But today, with the bitterly cold wind blowing at her face and the newsstands confirming her fears that this was the coldest January in the UK for more than ten years, London didn't look so romantic.

It looked like a prison.

"It looks pretty busy,"

His words forced her out of her reverie and with clouded eyes she looked up at him, shrugging lightly and gesturing to one of the tables next to them.

"I don't mind sitting out here," she offered, yanking the sleeves of her coat down to cover her hands.

"If you're sure," he looked at her cautiously as though trying to read her, growing frustrated when she wouldn't let him.

Not bothering to answer him, Allie simply slid into one of the chairs, letting out a hiss of discomfort as the freezing cold metal hit her skin even through her jeans.

"Are you hungry or do you just want a coffee?" he offered, picking up a menu and frowning slightly at the prices. "Either way it's on me,"

"What's this about Ben?" Allie sighed, pushing a strand of honey coloured hair out of her eyes and shaking her head.

Placing the menu back down on the table, Benjamin stared at the girl he had known for so long and felt ill at how little he recognised her. Gone was the playful sparkle in her eyes, replaced with a lonely emptiness that made his stomach ache. She hadn't smiled once since he'd found her at the station and barely uttered a word on the way here.

"I just thought I'd come check up on my girl," he smirked, forcing the usual charm back into his voice. "I haven't seen you for a while and thought…"

"And thought you'd make sure I hadn't topped myself yet," she finished with a raised eyebrow.

"Allie…" he shook his head.

"Forget it," she shook her head, moving to stand up. "This was a stupid idea…"

"He's with me," Benjamin told her, watching closely as she seemed to freeze. "I keep trying to get him to call you but I think…I think he's just scared sweetheart,"

"Scared?" she repeated. "Why the fuck is he scared? He's the one who left me, remember?"

"Hey," Benjamin placed his hand over hers, trying to calm her down. "I know, darlin', ok? I'm not defending the silly prick, believe me, but I just wanted to make sure you're ok. Which judging from the fact I found you sat on your own at Brixton station at 10 in the morning I can tell you're not,"

Staring down at her feet for a moment, Allie quietly slid back down into her seat and linked her hands together on the table.

"It's a long way from Sloane Square, kiddo," Benjamin told her.

"I know," she nodded. "I just go there sometimes…"

"For the ambiance?" Benjamin asked her with a smirk. "For the scenery?"

"It's where I first met Pete," she admitted. "Told you it was stupid,"

"Allie…" Benjamin squeezed her hand again.

"Y'know I was sat there today and all I could think about was how much has changed since that night," she laughed. "I mean, in the space of eight years I fell in love with Pete, married him, had two kids and then just when it was getting to the part where its supposed to end happily ever after, Lara dies, Harry goes off the rails and Pete leaves me," she threw her hands in the air and laughed bitterly. "How'd you work that one out?"

"No one's supposed to work it out, Allie," Benjamin told her. "Its shit, no one's saying otherwise but we can't do anything about the fact Lara's gone. But you and Pete…you can work this out, if both of you pull your fuckin' fingers out of your arses and swallow some of that God damn pride then…"

"Then what?" she snapped. "We'll go back to the way we were until the next time he decides he can't cope and walks out on me?"

"That's not what he did, sweetheart," Benjamin told her calmly. "You know it as much as I do. He didn't want to leave,"

"Yeah, well I wasn't exactly shoving him out of the door," she shot back. "I was begging him to stay,"

"Hey," Benjamin laughed, holding up his hands in defeat. "I'm not the one you're supposed to be pissed at, so do us both a favour and order the poncy coffee we both know you want and I'll smile and nod and foot the bill,"

"Christ, you're shit at this," she hissed, glaring at him in disgust.

"Yeah, but I'm fantastic in the sack, I mean, we can always give that a shot if you want,"

Allie's head snapped up and she stared at him in horror for a short moment before against her will, the corners of her mouth twitched and for the first time in four days she found herself laughing.

"I can't believe you…" she laughed louder, covering her mouth to try and keep the volume down. "You did not just say that…"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Dunham," the Scotsman winked at her. "So do I at least get some brownie points for making you laugh?"

"No," she shook her head. "That wasn't a laugh…you just caught me off guard,"

"That's how I roll," Benjamin grinned. "What can I say, the ladies love it…"

"Oh my God!" Allie laughed louder, throwing her head back and staring up at the sky. "You are unbelievable…"

A few feet away from her, Pete stood with his hands in his pockets, staring at her as she laughed. It was the first time he'd seen her look happy in months…and it wasn't because of him.

Why the hell had Benjamin called him to come here?

Shaking his head, he turned on his heel and snorted; as if it was going to be that simple for things to get back to normal.

Tossing the bunch of flowers he'd bought into a nearby bin, he glanced down at his watch and wondered if it was too early to head to the pub.

"Fuck it," he muttered under his breath. "Its five o'clock somewhere,"

"Another,"

Terry raised his eyebrows as Pete slammed the empty shot glass back down on the bar, grimacing as he licked the taste of vodka off of his lips.

"You sure about this mate?" Terry asked. "I mean, its not even 1 yet and you're already…"

"Pissed?" Pete hiccupped. "Yeah, I know, that's kinda the point, now get me another,"

"Whatever you say, Dunham," the older man shrugged and reached for a fresh glass, pouring the double shot of vodka and placing it on the bar. "'Ere, d'you want me to call someone in a bit? I can give Steve a bell if you want?"

"Nah," Pete shook his head. "I'm a big boy, Terry. I can get home on my own; I don't need Steve to hold my fuckin' hand,"

Sighing in defeat, Terry simply carried on cleaning the bar, leaving Pete to sit there, passing the empty shot glass back and forth between his hands.

"Jesus, you look like shit,"

The voice startled Pete and he forced his eyes up from the bar, focusing on the blur in front of him and trying to work out how to make the floor stop moving underneath him.

"Pete?" Lucy clicked her fingers in front of his face. "Are you ok?"

"What?" he mumbled, squinting down at the floor.

"Hey, hey, up here," she slapped him lightly and shook her head. "Christ, Terry what the hell have you done to him?"

"Oi, the blame's on Captain Smirnoff," Terry protested. "I 'ad fuck all to do with it,"

Frowning down at her older brother's friend, Lucy bit her lip and tried to think of what to do. It's not like before when she could just call Allie or even the boys; they'd go mental if they saw him like this.

"Ok, we're gonna get you home," she nodded to herself, yanking her bar apron off and throwing it at Terry. "You can cover me,"

"Oi, I ain't runnin' a charity 'ere," he frowned. "It's not your fault he's bein' a little tart and drinkin' 'imself into oblivion,"

"I'll take this as my lunch break," Lucy carried on, ignoring his previous comment. "Give me an hour and I'll be back."

Grabbing Pete's arm, she looped it around her shoulders and tried to yank him upright, grunting at the weight of him.

"Come on, Pete," she grumbled. "Help me out here, mate,"

"Fuckin' 'ell, all you women do is make demands," he snorted. "You're never fuckin' happy with anything,"

"Ok, so I take it you and Allie had a fight?" Lucy smirked, shaking her head.

"We broke up," Pete slurred. "And don't fuckin' give me that look…I'm sick of that look,"

"You broke up?" Lucy gasped, shaking her head. "Nah, bollocks, I don't believe you,"

"Yeah, you're right Luce," Pete grinned drunkenly. "It's all a big lie just to fool you. In fact I always get shit faced at 11 in the morning for no reason…"

"Christ, I'm taking you home, Allie can deal with this," she muttered.

"No," Pete shouted, trying and failing to break away from her. "I can't go back to the house, alright? Not yet…"

"So you can't go home, you can't see the boys?" Lucy sighed, totally exasperated. "What the fuck am I supposed to do with you?"

Pete sat back against the sofa, gripping the bridge of his nose so tightly that he waited to hear a snap. The room had thankfully stopped spinning but the bright colours adorning Lucy's walls weren't helping his retinas.

"Here," her voice carried over the sofa. "Drink this,"

Narrowing his eyes warily at the large mug in front of him, Pete made no move to take it from her.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Coffee…strong as hell, three sugars and not a drop of milk," Lucy told him, placing it down on the table next to him and coming to take a seat across from him.

"Fuck, you still remember that?" Pete laughed.

"I had to make ten of 'em every morning for the last eight years of my life," the blonde smirked. "You and my brother didn't exactly give me a choice when you were hung over; it's drilled into my memory,"

"Cheers," Pete told her, picking up the coffee and taking a long sip, almost enjoying the sensation of the blazing hot coffee hitting the roof of his mouth.

"So is now a good time to ask what the hell happened?" Lucy raised an eyebrow at him, drumming her fingers on the side of her own mug.

"There ain't much to tell," Pete snorted.

"Pete," Lucy shook her head. "This is you and Allie for fuck sake…how can there be nothing to tell?"

"Alright, there's a shit load to tell but I ain't exactly feeling like sharing right now, that alright with you?" he shot back.

Lucy blinked, taken aback by his hostile tone; it had to be bad if Pete was in such a shit mood. Sure Lucy had seen him flip out, she'd seen him ram his fist into walls and beat people within inches of their lives but she'd never seen him look so…lost.

"Fine," she nodded. "But if you're not gonna talk to me, can I at least sort your head out?"

"My head?" Pete frowned.

"Yeah, you fell off the stool in the pub and smacked it on the bar," Lucy half smiled, pointing to her own forehead and watching as he reached up, wincing when he felt the lumpiness of dried blood beneath his fingers.

"Shit," he hissed. "I don't remember,"

"I'd be surprised if you did," she laughed. "Now budge up so I can whack a plaster on it and kick you out,"

"Kick me out?" Pete frowned. "In this state?"

"State or not I need you to bugger off," Lucy winked, pulling some gauze out of the tiny first aid kit and dabbing some TCP onto it. "I've got a date tonight,"

"Bloody 'ell," Pete shook his head. "I remember when you were chasing us around the garden with them glitter face paints you got in goody bags…you shouldn't be going on dates,"

"Yeah, well I remember when you were the spotty little shit who used to steal my dad's cans of cider and kick footballs at me when I was playing on the swings," she laughed. "Things change, Dunham,"

"Yeah," he nodded. "They do,"

Lucy stopped dabbing the cut for a second, seeing the sadness come over his face and biting her lip. What was she supposed to say? This was Pete! Her entire life, she'd been used to him and the boys cheering her up, she'd never have thought in a million years that it would turn out the other way around.

"And I remember when you used to have hair," she carried on with a smile. "You were a right little tart, you used to 'ave all the girls chasing after you,"

"Bollocks," Pete laughed. "They all went for Dave,"

"No way!" Lucy laughed. "You were the tall blonde with blue eyes and bad attitude….you were every girls dream."

"Easy now," Pete grinned at her. "That's one hell of an ego trip,"

"I didn't say you were still fit, did I?" Lucy teased. "You've got old; you're a little bit…squidgy around the edges…"

"Fuck off," Pete laughed, shaking his head as she tapped the cut together.

"You love it," she joked, sitting back and admiring her work. "I should have been a nurse,"

"Not far off," Pete commented, gesturing to all of the Law book scattered around her coffee table.

"Yeah, well I have to graduate first," she rolled her eyes. "When I do my first task will be to have your arse committed for breaking up the best thing that ever happened to you,"

"Luce," Pete warned her, his tone anything but playful.

"You get throw a little strop all you want, but just…" she sighed and leant her chin on his shoulder. "Please don't screw this up, Pete. I know how much you love her…"

"Its not that simple anymore, alright?" he snapped. "She's different…I mean, if you could see 'er…"

"Of course she's different," Lucy laughed. "She's a mess, Pete."

"Its not just that," he admitted, feeling slightly ill. "Since Alex was born its like…"

"Its like what?" Lucy prompted.

"What if everyone was right?" he whispered. "What if we got married too young, what if we were so caught up in all the bullshit that we didn't think about this…"

"Pete," Lucy shook her head, grabbing his chin and forcing him to face her. "I've known you since you were 12, ok? And I've never seen you happier than when you've been with Allie. She changed you, she made you into the man you are and I know how much you love her…even if things seem a little weird at the moment, you can work through it, I know you can,"

"I can't not doing this," Pete shook his head and tried to sit up, but Lucy placed a firm hand on his chest and shook her head.

"Yeah, you can," she nodded. "Look, remember all the crap you gave me when I broke things off with Dave?"

"That was different," Pete scoffed.

"You're damn right it was!" Lucy laughed. "Me and Dave were nothing but glorified fuck buddies for two months,"

"Fuckin' 'ell, I didn't need to hear that," Pete rubbed his head.

"You and Allie…you're the real deal," she continued. "You're actually worth fighting for and you're being a complete tit if you just let this get away from you…"

"I ain't lettin' anything get away," Pete protested. "I just need some space,"

"And its all about you, is it?" she raised an eyebrow. "What about Poppy and Alex? How do you reckon they're gonna feel about their dad never being home because he needs some 'space'?"

Pete looked at her for a long moment, not for the first time caught off guard by how much she had grown up. Who would have thought that the only girl other than Natalie who'd been able to get the time of day off of him when they were younger would end up wise enough and scary enough to sit him down and tell him to sort out his life?

"Cheers for this," he told her, placing the mug back down on the table. "I uh…I better get off,"

"Pete," Lucy shook her head. "Please, just think about what you're doing ok? Think about what you're risking all for the sake of…"

She trailed off when he bent down and kissed the top of her head, ruffling her hair just like he always did.

"I'll catch you later, kid," he winked, shrugging his jacket back on. "Do me a favour though…"

"What?" she asked in defeat.

"Never use the term fuck buddy around me again," he wrinkled his nose. "That's gonna haunt me for years,"

"Piss off," she laughed, burying her face in the cushion and flipping him the finger.

Pete laughed at her, pulling the door open and still chuckling to himself.

"Alright, gorgeous?"

The voice caught him off guard and just as Pete opened his mouth to respond, a fist came hurtling forward not giving him so much as a second to even try and duck before it slammed into his face.

"For someone who wasn't hungry, you just cost me a fuckin' fortune," Benjamin smirked as he followed Allie out onto the South Bank bridge, weaving their way through the hoards of shoppers until they were leaning against the railing.

"You said it was on you," she grinned.

"Yeah, but I thought you'd order a muffin or something…maybe a croissant if you were feeling fancy…" he laughed as she elbowed him in the ribs.

Allie leant against the railing, watching Benjamin out of the corner of her eye as he linked his hands in front of him, her gaze drifting to the long scar that ran down his left wrist.

"Does it still hurt?"

Benjamin jumped when he felt her fingers on his skin, glancing down he followed them as they traced the lines of his scar and felt ill. He avoided looking at it most days, not particularly willing to remember how it came to be there.

"It gets a bit shitty when the cold kicks in," he admitted. "They said that because they had to put metal through it that that might happen but…"

Allie nodded and dropped his hand, pushing her own back into her pockets to warm them up.

"Do you um…" Benjamin paused, unsure of whether this was the best time to ask this question. "Do you remember any of it?"

Allie stopped breathing for a second, her mind going back to the moment when Poppy had run out onto the road, the fear filling her stomach as the car swerved and headed straight for them. Lara's blood curdling scream as it ploughed into the side of them, the sound of metal crunching and twisting making her ears ache.

"All of it," she whispered. "I remember every second,"

"We thought you were dead," Benjamin told her quietly. "Me and Lara…we looked back into the back seat and you were just lying there…you had all this blood on your face and your eyes were open…" he shuddered at the memory. "We thought you were dead,"

"Was she…" Allie gulped. "Lara…I mean was she awake or…"

"She kept asking me if I was ok," he nodded slowly. "And then when she saw you…she started screaming and trying to get back there. When the paramedics got to us, she kept telling them to go to you first, that you had kids, that she wanted them to take you,"

Allie bit her lip as tears stung her eyes and tipped her head back to the sky in an attempt to keep them in.

"Then it just all goes a bit blurry and I woke up with fuckin' Buckner and Bovver staring down at me," he laughed, happily coaxing one out of Allie as well. "I tell you what, I'd sooner be in a hundred fuckin' car wrecks than wake up to that horror show again."

"Sometimes I forget," Allie shook her head. "I know its stupid but I forget she's not here and I'll wake up and…."

Benjamin felt his breath catch as she turned to him, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes as she fought so hard to keep it together.

"It's not fair," she whispered. "I just…I can't cope with this; I want to, I want to be stronger than this but…"

"Allie," he shook his head, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into a hug, pressing his lips against her forehead. "It's ok sweetheart, Shhhh…"

The breeze kicked up around them as she cried silently into his chest and for the first time since the accident, Benjamin Ellis felt a tear slip down his own face as well.

"Here,"

Pete looked up at Richard Harding as he tossed a napkin onto the table and shook his head.

"Sorry, I didn't realise I hit you that hard,"

"It's alright," Pete shrugged, shoving the napkin under his nose to stop some of the blood. "I've 'ad worse,"

"I guess you're wondering how I knew you were here," Richard asked.

"Nah," Pete frowned. "I'm just wondering why you twated me one in the mouth before even sayin' 'ello,"

"I talked to Harry," the older man nodded. "He told me you left Allie,"

"Christ, what is this? The fuckin' playground?" he laughed. "I didn't leave anyone, alright? I just need some space,"

"Do you know my sister at all, Pete?" Richard laughed. "Right now she's not seeing it as you needing some space, she's seeing it you've walked out on her when she needs you,"

"Yeah, well what about what I need?" Pete spat. "Or does no one give a shit about that?"

"Oh grow some balls, Pete," Richard snorted, earning a look of shock from both Pete and Lucy who was pottering about in the kitchen pretending not to listen.

"What?"

"This isn't about you, its not even about Allie, its about both of you realising that you're acting like complete pricks," Richard picked up one of the coasters on the table and spun it around in his hands. "For you and Allie, love has always come easy. You met, you fell in love and it was simple…do you have any idea how rare that is? I mean, most people have to fight tooth and bloody nail for their relationships but you two…" he shook his head. "I could never bloody understand it personally, I mean you're so different but something worked and…"

He met Pete's eyes and stared at him hard, daring him to look away.

"And now for the first time in eight years it gets hard and both of you fall apart," he laughed. "It's pathetic,"

"Look, I know you're doing the whole big brother thing but…"

"That's not what this is," Richard shook his head. "Allie's a big girl, she can fight her own battles. I'm just sick of watching her mope around the house, I'm sick of watching her stare at the phone waiting for it to ring and most of all I'm sick of all this self-pitying bollocks. Just call her, tell her you love her and make it right,"

Pushing himself up from the table, Richard tugged on his jacket and checked the time, noting with disdain that he only had twenty minutes to make it back to work.

"What if I can't?" Pete asked him. "What if I can't make it better?"

"Then…" Richard let out a long sigh. "Then you really aren't the man I thought you were,"

Usually Pete would have shouted back or at least stood up to threaten him but this time all he did was stare at the table top, head bowed in defeat.

"Pete, what's the worst that can happen?" he shook his head. "She's your wife, she loves you…all you have to do is talk to her,"

"And what if it doesn't work?" he asked.

"Then me and Harry have to kill you," Richard told him simply. "And we Harding's are far too delicate for prison."

Without so much as a goodbye, he stepped through the front door and let it slam behind him.

"Jesus," Lucy frowned. "How the fuck is he related to Allie?"

Pete shook his head and groaned, leaning his forehead against the table top and sighing.

Grateful for Lucy's temporary silence, he turned to look out of the window, frowning when something caught his eye.

"Fuckin' ell," he laughed, standing up and walking over to her mantle piece. "Where'd you get this?"

"What?" Lucy asked, craning her neck to get a look at the photo.

Grinning to herself she saw it was a photo of herself, Allie and the boys at Christmas about six years ago. Back when everything had been simple.

A lump formed in her throat when she spotted Lara amongst the crowd, her arm thrown around Swill's shoulders as she laughed at the camera.

Back when everyone was still here.

"I found it a few months back," she told him. "When I was moving into this place, thought I'd put it up,"

"I remember this bein' taken," Pete practically whispered. "Bov was yelling at Matt to hurry up and take the photo, Swill was 'alf cut and clingin' onto Lara for dear life, Allie was…"

He stared at the photo, his eyes glued to her face. Allie was the girl he'd married.

"Can I uh…" he cleared his throat and shook his head. "Can I keep this?"

"Sure," Lucy nodded. "Maybe it'll help,"

"How d'you work that out?" he laughed.

"Well, something has to, right?" she shrugged, walking back into the kitchen and leaving him to stare at the photo, remembering the night it was taken and for the first time in four days feeling that there was a slight glimmer of hope that everything would be ok.

Reviews make me write quicker...you can take that any way you want! :D So yep, you guessed it, there's a flashback chapter comin' atcha! Be nice in your reviews and I might just put it up tomorrow...;)