"Carl? Do you think you could hold Anneliese for a minute?" I ask trying to draw his attention to me instead of on his parents fighting upstairs
"Sure" he says holding out his arms and I very carefully place the almost two-month-old in his arms before moving over to where Daryl is sorting through our small bag of canned goods
"You'd think they'd not do that where he can hear. Where we can hear" he comments lowly
"You'd think. I'll go break them up if it continues much longer" I tell him, and he nods handing me 2 cans of fruit to split between the kids
"Gen! Wake up!" Daryl says lowly but urgently shaking my shoulder
"What's wrong?" I ask sitting up
"We gotta go, there's a herd comin' towards us"
"Shit" I curse standing and grabbing Anneliese
"Penelope. Jackson. Carl. Get up! We gotta go" I say shaking their shoulders
"Mama?" Penny asks blinking at me
"Get up. There's a herd" I tell them grabbing the diaper bag and bookbag quickly
"Penny come here" Beth says from the doorway and as soon as Penny goes to her, she picks her up and moves down the steps, the boys and me following. Daryl is trailing after us covering us from behind as we make our way to the car. Beth slides Penny into the back seat before rushing off to her own car. Daryl is the last person out of the house and the last person to get in or I guess on a vehicle. And then in the dead of night we're pulling away from the house that had only been our solace for a few hours
I knock on the door twice but neither of the inhabitants seem to hear me, too busy screaming at each other. So, I push open the door and stand in the doorway for a second before fully entering the room and letting the door close behind me
"Y'all come on. Let's take a breath and-" they're not listening, no if anything their yelling got louder
I count to 10 in my head
"ENOUGH" I yell over them and they both pause turning to look at me
"I'm gonna say this as nice as possible: calm the fuck down or I will calm you the fuck down" I tell them
"How-" Lori starts to ask but I cut her off
"Uh-uh. No. We're done. You can both be as pissy as you want. But this argument is over. Your kid is downstairs with mine trying to ignore y'all who sound like you're bout to murder each other. Now I would like that child to not be an orphan, so one of you is gonna leave this room with me. And the other is gonna stay here and chill, look out that window and keep watch until you've calmed down. Okay?" I tell Rick and Lori both flat out
"We're gonna have to leave the truck behind. If someone can ride on the bike with Daryl there'll be enough room" Rick tells us as we prepare to move from the section of woods, we were camped in
"Are you sure we can't just squish?" Carol asks and Rick turns her idea down, saying things were uncomfortable enough as is, no need to be cramped in the cars
Shaking my head at their debate I move over to the back of the station wagon and go about changing Anneliese's diaper, when it hits me that I can just secure her to my chest and ride on the bike with Daryl since it doesn't seem like anyone else is going to volunteer
"Penny, Jack come here for a sec" I call, and they do so with no hesitation
"I'm gonna ride on the bike with Daryl. Y'all will probably still ride with Mr. Rick and Ms. Lori so you'll need to listen to them okay?"
"I will mama" Penny tells me, and Jackson just nods
"If for whatever reason you're in the other car, then you listen to those adults. You understand?"
"Yes" they answer, and I nod before shooing them back to the group
I pack the open can of formula, a few water bottles, baby bottles and a couple diapers into the bookbag and sling that on my back before securing Anneliese in her sling and placing a hat on her head and an extra blanket around her.
"I'll ride with Daryl" I state gathering everyone's attention as I rejoin them
"But what about the baby?" Lori asks
"She's secure on my chest and has an extra blanket and beyond that she'll be between the two of us, so she'll have our body heat as well."
"But what about feeding and changing her"
"We don't go that long without a stop for something and if the need arises, I'm fairly certain I can trust one of y'all to feed her and make sure she doesn't die."
The group stands there quiet for a moment
"Look we're wasting precious daylight; we can debate this more tonight when its dark and we're somewhere else but for now I'll ride on the bike with Daryl."
"Alright you heard her lets load up" Rick says heading towards his own car
"Here" Rick says coming toward me and holding out his zip up jacket
"What's this for?" I ask confused but reaching out to take it nonetheless
"You should wear it. It's big enough it'll fit around both you and Anneliese and you can keep the wind off her more"
"If you're sure"
"I am, I'll be in the car I won't need it"
"Okay, thank you Rick" I tell him slipping the jacket on and he's right it does zip up over Anneliese
"Speaking of the car, Carol will be joining us in our car and Anneliese can also join us, if she needs to. Between the 3 of us we should have no issues caring for them"
"Thank you Rick I appreciate it"
"It's no problem, you better go join Daryl" He says before moving off to round up the kids
Nodding to myself I resecure the bookbag on my back, check that my knife is in one holster and my gun in the other
"Behave, listen to the adults. Love you!" I call as I walk past the kids to Daryl, and I get a chorus of I love yous back
"Ready?" Daryl asks
"Yep, she's snug and warm and I have bottle and diaper stuff just in case"
"Good thinking. For you to ride behind me your gonna have to hold my cross bow, it should be able to sling over your shoulder and rest on the bookbag without an issue" Daryl explains holding out his crossbow to me and with his help I get it settled easily. And then he gets on the bike kicks up the kickstand and starts it before motioning for me to get on behind him.
Bracing my hands on his shoulders I throw a leg over the seat and situate myself before checking that Anneliese is okay and then I bring my hands to rest on his sides
"You're gonna want to hold on tight" He says just as Rick gives the head out honk and without thinking twice, I wrap my arms more securely around his waist, pressing Anneliese into his back as he pulls off.
It's probably 3 hours before we come to a major enough blockage that we have to stop. At some point I laid my head against his back, but I never dosed off, even though I wanted to. I'm a little unsteady as I get off the bike and Daryl reaches out and braces me as we move towards the group looking over the map. While they're debating the route, I quickly take a just stirring Anneliese out of the carrier and change her on the back seat before preparing a bottle. By the time the group has decided another route, Anneliese has been fed, burped, and resecured in the sling so all I have to do is grab the bookbag and Daryl's crossbow before joining him on the bike again.
And that's how it goes for 2 or 3 days, all the breaks and blockages managing to line up with Anneliese's feeding schedule. Anneliese who is oddly content being squished between Daryl and I for hours at a time. She has started sleeping more starfish like when she's not in the sling though. On our fourth day of me being on the bike we're on a longer stretch and she starts to fuss. So, I tap Daryl on the shoulder to get his attention
"She needs to eat" I call over the wind when he slightly turns his head towards me.
He nods and signals for the group to stop and pulls to the side of the road where I quickly dismount and hand him his crossbow before jogging to Rick's car just as Rick emerges
"Everything okay?" he asks
"Yeah, she's just getting hungry"
"Okay well why don't I change her really quick and then Lori can feed her while we continue on" He offers, and I nod in agreement before we both move to the back of the car where the rest of the baby supplies are. Even though I have diapers and formula in my bookbag I don't want to use any of it just in case we were to get separated. While Rick changes her, I mix up a bottle which I then hand off to Lori
"Thank you" I tell her, and she nods accepting the baby from her not-husband but not ex-husband.
I quickly rejoin Daryl and sling his crossbow over my head before sliding onto the bike behind him. As we pull off and I rest my head against his back, I realize this is the first time I've been this close to him without Anneliese between us. And I can't help but think that I like it.
Penny was having a tough time. She was tired and hungry but there was only so much could do when Anneliese was also fussing to be fed and changed
"Do you want some help?" Maggie asks gesturing to the squirming baby
"Yes please" I answer honestly passing Anneliese off to her and turning to finish mixing her bottle while Maggie goes and changes her
Once the bottle is ready, I set it on the counter for Maggie to grab and pick up Penny from where she rather dramatically flopped onto the floor
"What's wrong Penny?" I ask
"I'm tired" She mumbles into my shoulder, sticking her thumb into her mouth
"Well, you can take a nap. I'll wake you up to eat"
"Wanna cuddle with you" she says trying to burrow her head into my neck
"We can cuddle. Maggie has Anne for a bit?" I ask as Maggie comes to get the bottle and at her nod, I head into the living room to sit and let Penny nap as everyone goes about doing what they need to do
"At least the baby was in the car?" Lori asks trying not to laugh at me and Daryl standing just inside the front door of the house we just cleared, dripping wet
"Small mercies" I mumble shucking off the bookbag "Gonna go see if there's any clothes upstairs" I huff kicking off my shoes and moving up the staircase
Entering the bedroom and seeing the half pulled out drawers I sigh but manage to come up with a single pair of men's jeans, a few sets of boxers and 2 t-shirts
"Daryl there's clothes if you want them" I call down the steps before returning to the bedroom and taking off my borrowed flannel and grabbing a towel to pat at my hair
"They're on top of the dresser" I tell him when he joins me, and he nods moving over to it
"That's it?" he asks, and I nod
"You gonna change? You got soaked" he asks, and I sigh debating my options: stay in wet clothes and freeze or put on dry oversized t-shirt and freeze but have normal clothes be dry by morning
"I guess I will, but I don't exactly feel like parading around here in just a t-shirt" I joke
"Wrap a blanket around ya" he jokes back taking the jeans and one of the shirts into the bathroom to change
While he's in there I take off my soaked clothes and put on the black t-shirt he left me on the dresser and thankfully it falls to midthigh, but I still put on a pair of the boxers to act as shorts even though I'm cringing internally at the thought of wearing a stranger's underwear
"Where should we hang- "Daryl starts to ask coming out of the bathroom, but he cuts himself off coming to a full stop just outside the door staring at me
I watch him in the mirror as he looks me up and down before seeming to shake himself
"Where should we put the clothes to dry?" he asks clearing his throat
"By the fire would probably get them dry faster" I tell him, and he nods grabbing my clothes off the bed and hurrying down the steps
I'm in the bedroom watching Anneliese sleep when Daryl joins me
"I'm goin' on a run, you need anything?" he asks
"Formula, diapers"
"What? Don't want no fancy lotion like Lori?" he asks sarcastically
"Ha! No" I answer
"Don't all 30 something women want fancy smellin' lotion?" he jokes
"Daryl, I'm only 22" I laugh before freezing my eyes widening on their own accord
Daryl doesn't say anything for a moment
"Want me to see if they have any baby food?" he asks as if I didn't just reveal that I was in fact not old enough to be Jack's mother
"Yes please" I choke out looking down at my hands
I don't see him leave the room, but I hear the door gently shut behind him
I'm pacing the practically dark kitchen, rocking Anneliese to sleep after everyone but Glenn, who's on watch has gone to bed
"Hey" comes from the direction of the doorway causing me to jump and turn to see Daryl making his way into the kitchen slowly
"Hey" I whisper back
"What you said earlier? Your age? You're really only 22?" he asks in a hushed voice leaning against the counter and all I can do is nod
"I ain't gonna tell no one" he says after a moment and my eyes fly to meet his
"Why?"
"You obviously kept it a secret for a reason. Ain't my place to tell"
"Thank you" I murmur
"Why'd you keep it a secret though?" he asks
"Didn't want anyone acting like I couldn't take care of them." I say debating if I should tell him the full story
"Our mom wasn't the best mom. She raised me alright, but I practically raised Jack since he was born, and I did raise Penny and now Anne" I tell him glancing down at the sleeping baby cradled in my arms
"So, none of them are yours?" he asks
"No"
"They call you mom" he states
"They do, like I said I raised Penny. Her first word was mama, and it was said to me. I got her outta that quick to avoid my mother's ire but with our mom no longer present I let her. And well Jack asked if he had too, and I told him no but he's like mine and he just kinda started doin' it"
"Your mom-?" he starts to ask and stops
"She died, giving birth to Anneliese. I was helping her, but she needed to be with a doctor in a hospital. She just lost so much blood" I explain, and he nods
"I meant what I said"
"Hm?"
"I won't tell anyone."
"I believe you"
"Go! Go!" Rick yells from behind us
Lori has Penny on her hip, Carl, and Jack both clutching her shirt and I have Anneliese grasped to my chest; all of us running for the vehicles
I don't hesitate when I see walkers getting too close, I just start shooting. Pressing Anneliese closer to me and turning to help clear a path
Daryl runs past me and starts the bike before loading another arrow into his crossbow
"C'mon!" he yells at me and I waste no time holstering my gun and sliding onto the bike behind him
Clutching Anneliese closer and hastily taking his crossbow with my other hand as he pulls off. I glance behind us to see Rick getting in the car with Lori and the kids and following us.
Following us away from the house that was our haven for 3 days. We had gotten too comfortable and now there were walkers swarming it.
After about 20 minutes of driving Daryl pulls off the side of the road but he doesn't get off the bike, just steadies it before taking the crossbow from me
"Why are y'all stopping?" Maggie asks when their car pulls up next to us
"She needs to put the baby in her carrier" he tells her as I set about doing just that
"Give this to her" I faintly hear Glenn say right before a hoodie is passed from Maggie to Daryl and then to me
Nodding my thanks, I slip it over both Anneliese and I making sure she's situated before taking the crossbow back and slinging it over my head into its spot
Its only after the sun has risen and we're all parked on the shoulder that I realize I fucked up
"Fuck" I curse slamming my hands down onto the edge of the trunk
"What's wrong?" Glenn asks
"The diaper bag got left" I huff running a hand down my face
"Wait, seriously?" he asks peering into the trunk
"Yes. Fuck I'm an idiot" I grumble
"Hey, its oaky what was in it that you need?"
"Diapers, formula, bottles, water. Her clothes and blankets. The baby Tylenol" I list off
"We can do a run soon; do you have stuff for tonight at least?" Maggie asks
"I have enough for probably 3 or 4 days"
"Okay, I'll talk to Rick and Daryl and see when they think the best time for a run is"
"Thank you" I tell her
"Here write a list of everything that was left so we know what to look for"
"Scoot over" Daryl whispers
"Hm?"
"Scoot over, I can see you shivering from across the room"
"I'm fine" I protest even though he's right
"Eve"
Sighing I shuffle over in my spot on the floor, making room for him between the wall and me.
Tentatively he reaches across the gap and pulls me back against him, it's not much warmer but I'm certainly not going to complain
"Look at her, she looks like she's enjoying sitting up" Herschel says gesturing at Anneliese sitting propped up on my lap hands in her mouth
"Soon she'll be doing it on her own" I say smoothing a hand over her fine blonde hair
"They never stay little long" he replies
"Don't I know it" I retort glancing to where Penny is helping Carol open cans of food
"I'm cold Mom" Jack tells me as we settle into the living room of a new house
"Here" I say shrugging off my recently acquired jacket and passing it to him
He instantly wraps it around himself
"I'm cold too Mama" Penny announces coming up beside me
"Jack share the jacket with Penny please" I request
"But she takes all the heat" he protests
"Jackson please- "
"Come here Pen" Daryl says from across the room holding his arms open and she wastes no time hurrying across the room where he tucks her against him and closes his own jacket around her
"Better?" he asks
"Yes Mr. Daryl"
"Just Daryl, kid"
Rick and I are walking the perimeter of the mansion grounds, Anneliese snug on my chest, Daryl's jacket around both of us with a light flurry fluttering down around us when I decide I should tell Rick, he does confide a lot in me so it's only fair
"Rick?" I ask
"Hm?"
"I haven't been entirely honest with you" I tell him
"What do you mean?" he asks
"How old do you think I am?" I ask instead of answering
"Well, Jack's 11 so I'd say you're at least 26. Where are you going with this?" he laughs
"Little off, I'm 22"
"What?" he asks after a moment
"I'm 22."
"So, the kids?"
"They're my siblings"
"Even Anne?"
"Even Anne" I confirm and suddenly I regret telling him
"Gen?" he asks after we walk in silence for a few moments
"It's okay, I'm not mad you kept that from us" he says once I've looked up
"You should be"
"Why?"
"How can a group be functional when one of the parents in the group isn't even a parent" I huff
"Genevieve, as long as I've known you. You've been a parent. And you do it a little too easy for it to have been something new" he tells me, and I nod solemnly
"Well, you're right about that" I tell him
"How so?"
"I would say I practically raised Jackson and I did raise Penelope"
"And now you're raising this little one" he says smoothing a hand down Anneliese's hair
"Yeah, yeah I am"
"I told you a while ago. That I thought you were doing a damn good job. And it's still true I think you're doing a damn good job. Not only with your kids. You help hold this group together. When Lori and I are ready to murder each other, you bring us down. When Carl wants nothing to do with either of us you provide him safety, love, and care. And I can never thank you enough for that"
"You don't need to thank me for that Rick"
"And Gen? I trust you. This was the best course of action that you saw, and I trust your decision. I won't tell anybody without your permission"
"Daryl knows" I blurt
"Oh, does he?" he says with a raised eyebrow
"It just slipped out" I say feeling my cheeks heat up
"I'm sure it did"
"Oh, shut up"
At the sudden appearance of a cat jumping onto the dresser I cannot hold in my squeal of shock
"Oh! Fuck!" I curse
"What's wrong?!" Rick asks running in the room
"Fucking cat" I answer gesturing to the black cat sitting primly on the dresser watching me like I'm a damn lunatic
"Oh good. You found dinner" Daryl deadpans joining us
"You are NOT killing that cat" I snap shooting him a glare
"You gonna stop me?" He taunts
"You kill that cat; you'll break Penny's heart"
"She don't even know it's here"
"Wanna bet?" I challenge edging my way closer to the cat and offering it my hand for it to smell
"Ya can't keep it" he tells me flat out
"No, but I can love on it for now" I tell him petting the cat on its head
"Don't get attached, it's not going on the bike" he says pointing a finger at me
"Whatever you say" I retort picking up the cat and breezing past him and Rick to show the kids the cat
"Tell me about it girlie" I coo to Anneliese, who's laying on her back kicking her feet and flailing her arms and babbling away
"Someone's talkative" Rick says breezing into the living room of the house we're taking refuge in
Anneliese lets out a loud squeal when he waves his fingers above her face
"Did he startle you darling?" I ask with a laugh as she tries to pull his fingers into his mouth
"Noooo don't eat my hand" He tells her pulling his hand back just enough for it not to be in mouth range
"How's it look out there?" I ask
"Like the skies are gonna open up any minute."
"Hopefully, Glenn and Maggie are back soon"
"They should be. I'm gonna go keep watch from upstairs" he tells me pulling his hand away from Anneliese and walking up the steps
Very rarely do I go on runs, but when the opportunity presents itself, I don't turn it down
"I'm gonna go check the closet see if there's anything of use" I whisper to Daryl before moving slowly across the floor to the closet
It's a small closet, without the shelves it's probably a 4 foot by 4 foot but with the shelves lined with various bins and objects there's only about a foot of standing room
So, when Daryl slams into the closet behind me only moments later, pulling the door behind him, it makes for tight quarters
"What the fuck Daryl?" I ask as I hear him lock the door behind him
"Couple of walkers moving outside the store" he whispers, and I let out a sigh before wiggling enough to turn and look up at him in the dark
"So, you locked us both in the closet?" I ask
"They should pass by quickly, so long as we make no noise" I hum in acknowledgment
As we settle into silence, standing close enough I can feel his breathe against my face
"What?" he asks a few moments later when a slightly hysterical giggle manages to escape my lips
"On the shelf, above your head" I barely manage to get out causing him to huff and look up only for his whole body to tense as his eyes slowly move back to mine
"Mistletoe" I state, and he doesn't say anything just looks at me and I notice his eyes flicker from my own to my lips and back again
"Well, tradition is tradition after all" I say before grabbing his face and pulling him down, so his lips meet mine
The kiss is soft, almost chaste at first, before one of his hands grasps my waist while the other grabs the back of my head and tilts it back just enough for him to deepen the kiss
I can't help the smile that overtakes my face when we pull back for air, still close enough that our noses touch but far enough to look into each other's eyes
"I've wanted to do that for a while" I murmur
"What took you so long?"
"Wasn't the right time or place"
"And a storage closet is?"
"The mistletoe set the mood" I joke before leaning in and capturing his lips again
"Do you need any help?" Carol asks from the doorway of the room that I've claimed as my workspace
"Please" I answer looking up at her from the floor
"Alright what do you got so far?" she asks joining me on the floor
"Well, I have this cotton towel set, this raincoat I found in a closet, a handful of buttons and a t-shirt too"
"Okay, good thinking, you're probably going to want to do the towel and maybe a layer of the t-shirt on the inside and the raincoat on the outside"
"That's what I was thinking" I tell her and we both set about cutting sections of materials
"What are you ladies doing?" Rick asks from the doorway
"Making diapers" Carol answers
"Are you out?" he asks
"I have 3 left, they haven't found any on runs, so I don't think it would hurt to make some"
"Anything I can do?"
"You know how to sew?"
It's well after everyone has gone to bed. But I'm awake and other than those keeping watch I'm essentially alone. Even Anneliese is asleep – sort of
It's a fitful sleep inhibited by the fever she has. A few I've concluded is from her cutting teeth but it's concerning nonetheless
I find myself walking the kitchen, a single candle burning on the island
"Hey" Daryl whispers from the doorway causing me to just about jump out of my skin
"Hi" I answer turning towards him
"Everything okay?"
"She's still got a fever."
"Do you think its higher?"
"I don't think so, but I can't really tell"
"Do you want me to take her so you can get some sleep?"
"No, I don't think I could sleep anyway"
"Okay, well come get me if you need me" he says moving back into the living room
5 hours later I'm still up, holding Anneliese. Her fever seems to have lessened some but not much and I've progressed from walking the kitchen to sitting propped up against the living room wall about a foot from where Daryl is or was sleeping, he just woke up
"Did you sleep at all?" he asks and frowns at me when I shake my head
"Hand her over" he says holding out his hands causing me to frown
"You need to get some sleep, who knows when we will have to leave" he says in return before just straight up taking her from my arms after standing
"Now sleep" he says giving my thigh a nudge with his boot and I shake my head before scooting over and down to claim his vacated spot and pillow, as much as I hate to admit it, I am exhausted.