Happy New year! Consider this a belated Christmas gift to you guys for STILL after 8 years (yes really) being so loyal and supportive of this fic arc, you have no idea how much it means to me. I'm feeling a little rusty so please forgive the crappiness of this chapter, a new years resolution of mine is to actually get off of my arse and UPDATE once a week so be prepared for updates galore, including Rise of Green Street, not just Intervals. Anyway, please read, enjoy and if you have the time, I'd love you to review. Hope you're all well, huge hugs and kisses, Ella x

Allie Dunham stared at the older woman in front of her, time slipping between them in cold waves; they crashed against her, filling her with dread, fear and an overwhelming sense of hatred she couldn't ever recall having felt before. Her lips, dry and torn from the abundance of oxygen coursing through her veins opened but no words formed. What was there to say? She wanted to scream, to wrench herself from the confines of her bed and throw herself at the gaunt looking woman before her but she couldn't. All she could do was stare and listen to her own breathing as it picked up pace, whooshing through her lips and stinging them.

"Look at you," Sarah Hatcher shook her head, her eyes filled with genuine concern. "Look what I did to you..."

She reached out unconsciously, stopping only when the blonde moved sharply like a caged animal trying to escape. The bed rails rattled harshly and she winced as Allie's gown rode up, exposing the sodden looking bandages on her abdomen.

"Jesus, I'm sorry sweetheart," she whispered brokenly. "I didn't think...I never would have hurt you, I didn't want to hurt anyone,"

"You shot me," Allie surprised herself with how loud and firm her voice was. "You held up the gun and you pulled the trigger,"

"I didn't..."

"I have children," Allie breathed harshly. Her lungs felt like paper, broken, torn and burnt. "You're a mother. How could you do that?"

"I didn't see you," Sarah told her, staring at the floor. "I saw him."

Allie watched her take a tentative step towards the window, her hands shaking and mottled as she wrung them together over and over, trying to a create a heat in her body that she knew would never come.

"In that moment, all I saw was my husband," she placed a hand on the cold glass and stared outside. The air seemed heavier somehow, coursing through the wilting trees in droves of white mist. Winter was coming. "I saw my son in the morgue, I saw my husband standing over me, washing my blood off of his hands at the kitchen sink like nothing had happened. I saw everything I'd lost, everything I'd been, everything I'd never have."

Feeling herself start to relent, Allie forced her eyes down to the tubes in her arms and the bandages on her stomach and reminded herself why she was here.

"Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?" she shook her head. "Am I supposed to...to tell you its okay, that everybody makes mistakes,"

"No." Sarah turned to face her, her eyes hard and filled with tears. "I don't want your sympathy and I wouldn't dare ask your forgiveness. All I want..." she looked down for a long moment and held her breath. "What you said back there...about us women not inheriting our men's mistakes," she smiled wryly. "We do though, don't we?"

Allie stared at her, wondering if her heartbeat was as audible as it felt; hammering through her chest, her eyes darting between the woman at the window and the door, wondering when if ever someone was going to come in. Wondering why she hadn't screamed yet to alert them to her presence.

"That's what you do when you love someone, isn't it?" Sarah continued. "You take on their mistakes, you forgive their faults, you love them no matter what. Unconditionally. Only a mother understands that love. Only a mother breaks that hard when that love falls apart. I lost...God, Allie I lost everything. And I nearly took it from you...I inherited that man's past and I made it into my future."

"You don't have to," Allie countered, her eyes wide, pleading. "Things don't have to be that way, you can fight..."

"For what?" Sarah interrupted her, her voice cracking. "I'm 53 years old. What do I have to be happy about, to look forward to? We become the people we love, you see, that's what I think. Look at you," she shook her head and smiled. "So young and you've been through so much; seen too much, lost too much. And yet here you are talking to me. You could scream, you could push that button and they'd come in here and cart me off before I could blink."

"What good would that do?" the blonde asked her earnestly. "You think that would make me happy? You think that would undo all of this..."

"No darling," Sarah laughed sadly. "Nothing you or I do now will undo any of this. There's nothing to say, nothing to do. Everything I've done, I've done for my family. For Dylan, for Eddie...for Tommy,"

Allie felt her stomach clench but ignored it; she hadn't heard that name in so long. It was unspoken in her house and that's how she had willed it to remain.

"What did they do for you?" she asked her. "Look at you Sarah, you're in a hospital spilling your guts out to a girl you just shot trying to protect a man...a boy who came into my home and tried to hurt my family. Is this how you saw your life going? Is this honestly what you wanted?"

"No,"

"Then you should have stopped it," she hissed, her anger rising to the surface. "You should have walked away and left him to rot like the piece of shit he is,"

"I know," Sarah nodded, meeting her eyes for the first time since entering the room. The grey depths shimmered with tears, pure agony surging through them as they bore into the younger emerald orbs across the room. "But I didn't and I can't."

She stood at the end of the bed and pulled the gun from her jacket, still splattered with flecks of the younger woman's blood. Her hands shook as she wrapped her fingers around it, taking aim and finally letting the tears fall.

"I didn't come here to stop it, Allie," she shook her head. "I came here to end it."

Allie stared at her, her own tears gathering as she struggled to get out of bed, to get out of the way. Her hands were shaking, sweaty, unable to grip the bars as she slipped and landed on her back once more, the pain slicing through her body too intense for her to scream.

Not like this.

She couldn't die like this. Not without telling Pete she loved him. Not without holding her daughter or her son one last time.

"Sarah,"

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart,"

"Sarah, no, please..."

It was quicker than she had expected. She didn't scream, her body wouldn't let her; she was exhausted and there was too much pain in her already to comprehend the existence of more. All she heard was the bang, the quick desperate echo of her own heartbeat and then nothing but silence in the wake of the storm.

"You want some coffee with that sugar?"

Pete smirked at the man next to him and carried on pouring the last of the four sachets into the steaming paper cup, stirring it quickly before the sugar formed a sickly sludge at the bottom.

"You know what your sister is like in the mornings," he licked the foam from the stirrer and through it into the bin next to him.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Harry grimaced. "Her and Lara before caffeine is not a nice sight,"

Pete smiled and reached out, squeezing his shoulder tightly. Lara's name was more common place these days but they all felt the same stab of sadness when it was. Times like this Pete missed her more than he could fathom; he know damn well she'd have them all rallying around, laughing, skipping into Allie's room with flowers and god knows what else.

Thinking about it clearly and selflessly for the first time in weeks, Pete noted how haggard Harry looked; he had lost the love of his life and his sister all in one year.

"When Allie gets home and things are settled, I reckon you and I are long overdue a pint, don't you sunshine?" he met his eyes.

"You read my mind, Pedro," Harry gripped his hand briefly before it slipped off of his shoulder. "Thanks, man,"

"S'Alright," Pete nodded. "I'll even pay,"

"You know what I mean," Harry told him, nodding and willing the tears to stay in. "Thanks,"

"Any time, brother," the younger man promised him, meaning it with all of his heart. "Now come on, before your sister comes bloody looking for us,"

"Don't fucking joke," Harry snorted. "A fiver says we get in there and she's doing fucking yoga or something,"

They started down the hallway, sipping their coffees as they went and both for the first time in weeks feeling lighter; human even. The sun had broken through the heavy mist outside as was streaming into the hallway, seeping into their bones and bringing with it a much needed warmth.

Everything was going to be ok.

Bang.

Just once; but it was loud enough to leave know doubt in either man's mind what the noise was. Everything fell into slow motion, doctors nearby them dropping their charts, silence filling the hallway before the surprised scream of a nurse next to them. Someone ran past them, knocking Harry's coffee from his hand.

"Pete!"

His voice was so distant and alien, he had to watch his lips move to make sure it was in fact him who was speaking.

"It came from Allie's room!"

His feet moved with no co-ordination or direction, just running full pelt as fast as he could; it was all he could do to keep from falling and screaming. He entered the room and couldn't see anything for all the people crowded around the body. They were pulling at her clothes, stripping whatever they could to get to her faster.

"What the fuck happened?"

"We need the police here now!"

"Is she breathing?"

"Head injury, Jesus Christ, there's blood everywhere..."

"Don't move her!"

"Was she shot? Was she shot?"

"Is she dead?"

"I tried to stop her."

That once voice broke through the chorus and Pete turned, his heart breaking as he watched his wife, his best friend propped up against the far wall behind the door weeping silently as she held her stomach. Her face was splattered with blood as was the front of her gown, the bright red stark against the pristine white.

"I tried to stop her."

"Allie,"

Pete ran over to her and swept her up in his arms, feeling her body give up as she sobbed and screamed into his shoulder, her hands shaking and clutching at his shirt. He lifted her off the floor and held her as tight as he could without hurting her, burying his face in her hair and kissing her temple as she shook.

"I tried to stop her,"

Pete felt Harry walk behind them, placing a shaking hand on his sisters head as he watched the horror unfold behind them; the paramedics had pulled back from the fray and he could see now an old woman, her grey eyes open, staring as she faced them. Half of her scalp was hanging down, the large cavity beneath it black with blood. A gun lay haphazardly in her left hand, her fingers still slightly wrapped around it.

Allie opened her eyes and watched as they loaded Sarah Hatcher onto a gurney, her stomach wrenching at the squeaking sound her blood made as they walked through it with her. Her eyes caught sight of the small bit of paper as it fell from her pocket, floating on the large pool of blood beneath her.

Pulling away from Pete, she walked towards it, letting his hand slip out of hers as she bent down to retrieve it, ignoring the paramedic who scolded her, telling her not to touch anything until the police came.

Lifting the small scrap from the thick burgundy pool, she felt her breath hitch.

Sarah Hatcher stared back at her, only a few years older than Allie was now. Her eyes were alive, she held a baby in her arms, the smile on her face so big it diminished everything else in the shot. Her grey eyes sparkled with hope, love, everything she had always dreamed of.

Turning it over, she ran her thumb over the letters, smoothing the blood away and letting her eyes drift over the worn scrawl.

Dylan. My everything. The world made sense when you came along. I'll never leave you. Love Mum.

"Wait,"

Her voice was barely above a whisper as she turned and limped towards the doctors who stared at her with a mixture of impatience and horror; just another body, thats all she was now.

"Keep this with her," she nodded, placing the photo by Sarah's feet and sobbing as quietly as she could. "It was all she had."

They carried on down the hall, Allie's eyes following them until they were out of sight, silence enveloping the room once more. It only took a second for Pete to appear behind her, his head dropping down onto her shoulder as he hugged her from behind, sobs shaking his own body. Allie closed her eyes as she reached up to cup the back of his head, not trusting herself to speak just yet.

But she could settle for silence, for peace.

For the chance to say a small prayer to whoever was up there that Sarah Hatcher was finally where she had always wanted to be.

Home.

So now you're sufficiently depressed, be a darling and leave me a review ;P x