REVIEW REPLIES:
Child of Wisdom: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! It's great that you enjoyed reading Snape's POV. It's certainly a bit strange, but it's good to know that I made him seem believable enough. PJO, HP and AF are my favorite series as well! I was actually really surprised that there weren't many three-way crossovers between them, hence, this mess that I like to call a story. Anyway, thanks for reviewing and I hope you have a nice day!
Blades.b1tch: I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!
Snape wasn't even surprised.
No one else in the entire school would be daft enough to drive- uh- fly a car to Hogwarts.
Snape glared at the two Gryffindor boys standing before him.
"So," he said softly, practically seething with fury, "the train isn't good enough for the famous Harry Potter and his faithful sidekick Weasley. Wanted to arrive with a bang, did we, boys?"
"No, sir, it was the barrier at King's Cross, it –" Potter tried to explain.
"Silence!" Snape snapped, not willing to hear another one of Potter's cock-and-bull stories, "What have you done with the car?" he demanded impatiently.
Neither boy answered, instead opting to stare solemnly at the floor.
"You were seen", he hissed, showing them the headline," FLYING FORD ANGLIA MYSTIFIESMUGGLES." He began to read aloud. "Two Muggles in London, convinced they saw an old car flying over the Post Office tower... at noon in Norfolk, Mrs. Hetty Bayliss, while hanging out her washing... Mr. Angus Fleet, of Peebles, reported to police". Snape tutted mockingly, "Six or seven Muggles in all. I believe your father works in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office?", he asked, looking up at Ron and somehow adding even more nastiness to his smile. "Dear, dear... his own son..."
Snape watched in grim satisfaction as both boys gulped, looking mortified.
"Do you have any idea what you've done?" He barked, "The entire wizarding world could have been exposed! Most unfortunately, you are not in my house and the decision to expel you does not rest with me. I shall go and fetch the people who do have that happy power. You will-"
But Snape never got the chance to finish his sentence, as he was interrupted by a timely knock on the door.
"Come in!" He called impatiently, anxious to fetch the Headmaster.
The door creaked open, and Artemis Fowl the Second cautiously entered the room.
"Terribly sorry to intrude Professor," the boy apologized calmly, seemingly unperturbed by the sight of two of his friends being scolded before term had even begun, "One of the new Slytherin students got separated from the group. The prefects asked me to go fetch you."
Snape raised an eyebrow, "They sent you?"
"Well, not me specifically." Fowl amended, "But they asked someone to fetch you, and I do qualify as someone."
Snape narrowed his eyes at his favorite student, both of them knew perfectly well that Artemis Fowl wouldn't do something like that from the good of his heart. Snape knew that he had some sort of ulterior motive, he just... didn't know what it was yet.
"I see." he drawled, "Well then, since you're here, I'll just leave Potter and Weasley in your custody while I go and fetch the Headmaster." he decided, heading for the door.
"Wait!" Weasley protested, "You're leaving us in his custody? He's not even a prefect! He's in our year!"
"He's certainly more mature than you two fools." he snapped, "Don't let them make a run for it." he instructed Artemis.
Ignoring the sound of Weasley and Potter's indignant spluttering, Snape stormed out of the room, his cloak bellowing behind him, trying to ignore the feeling that he had just been duped.
*****Line Break*****
"Artemis!" Harry exclaimed as soon as Snape slammed the door behind him, "What are you doing here?"
Artemis leaned against a wall, "Like I said, I came to fetch Professor Snape."
Ron snorted, "Puh-lease Fowl, you never do anything without some sort of secret motive."
"True."
"So why are you here?" Harry asked again, "How are you here? Did you come to convince Snape not to get us expelled?" he asked eagerly.
Artemis rolled his eyes with a huff, "Honestly," he grumbled, "Why does everyone always assume that I can cover up for them whenever they mess up? First Nico, then the Weasley twins, and now you two! It's like you all see me as your personal lawyer or something."
"What do my brothers have to do with anything?" Ron scowled.
"Not important." Artemis said flippantly.
"So you're not here to help us?" Harry asked meekly.
"Well, that is why I was sent here, but that's not the point!"
"Thank goodness." Harry sighed, slumping in relief.
"I won't be able to do much." Artemis warned, "I'm only here as the 'voice of reason'. And to let the others know what happened."
"They sent you?" Ron asked hopefully.
Artemis didn't reply, staring intently at the staircase.
"They're coming." he declared. Harry had now idea how he knew that, since he couldn't hear a single footstep, but he decided to take Artemis' word for it, exchanging a nervous glance with Ron.
A minute later, Snape returned, and sure enough it was Professor McGonagall who accompanied him. Harry had seen Professor McGonagall angry on several occasions, but either he had forgotten just how thin her mouth could go, or he had never seen her this angry before. She raised her wand the moment she entered. Harry and Ron both flinched, but she merely pointed it at the empty fireplace, where flames suddenly erupted.
"Sit." she said sternly to the two of them, "Thank you for keeping them company Mr. Fowl, but you may leave now." she said pointedly, "The feast is not yet over, there's still time for you to join your friends."
Artemis looked conflicted, "Actually Professor," he said, keeping his tone impossibly polite, "I'd rather stay here, if you don't mind. I came to get Professor Snape because one of the first-years got lost, so I wasn't told the password."
Snape stood up with a sigh, "Mr. Fowl, I really don't have the time to escort students to the common room right now-"
"Oh, that's alright Professor," Artemis interjected hurriedly, "I'll just wait here for you to leave. I'd hate to be a nuisance." he said innocently.
McGonagall looked like she wanted to tell Artemis exactly how much of a nuisance she thought he was, but kept quiet, looking like she had swallowed a lemon.
Snape narrowed his eyes suspiciously, scrutinizing Artemis for a moment, before deciding that he couldn't do much harm by watching from a corner.
"Very well." he said slowly, "You may wait until this is over. Which shouldn't take very long as we all know what the correct course of action is." he said pointedly, glaring at the Head of Gryffindor House.
McGonagall returned his glared, before turning to the boys, "Explain." she demanded.
Harry and Ron launched into the story, starting with the barrier not letting them through.
After they had finished, the two adults(and Artemis) stared at them in exasperation.
"It didn't occur to you to just send a letter to the school by owl?" Artemis asked in disbelief.
Harry felt his cheeks turn red, "I- I- I didn't think-"
"Obviously." Artemis snorted.
McGonagall shot a warning look at the pale boy in the corner, before turning back to the two Gryffindors.
"Now," she began, "for your punishment-"
There was a knock on the office door and Snape, now looking happier than ever, opened it. There stood the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore .Harry's whole body went numb. Dumbledore was looking unusually grave. He stared down his very crooked nose at them and Harry suddenly found himself wishing he and Ron were still being beaten up by the Whomping Willow. There was a long silence.
Then Dumbledore said, "Please explain why you did this."
It would have been better if he had shouted. Harry hated the disappointment in his voice. For some reason, he was unable to look Dumbledore in the eyes, and spoke instead to his knees. He told Dumbledore everything except that Mr. Weasley owned the bewitched car, making it sound as though he and Ron had happened to find a flying car parked outside the station. He knew Dumbledore would see through this at once, but Dumbledore asked no questions about the car. When Harry had finished, he merely continued to peer at them through his spectacles.
"Well, my boys," Dumbledore said finally," you have both done a terrible thing, which is punishable by law, and I'm afraid that I cannot allow it to go unpunished."
"Yes sir." the two boys mumbled.
"So I have no choice but to expel you."
"We understand." Harry said, blinking back tears, his voice no louder than a whisper.
"Excuse me Professor," Artemis interrupted, "Isn't expulsion a bit... much?"
Dumbledore stared at Artemis with a mixture of annoyance and gratitude.
Snape glared at Artemis, looking slightly panicked, "Mr. Fowl, I'm sure that you know better than anyone that these two boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry, caused serious damage to an old and valuable tree, surely you have to agree that acts of this nature can't go unpunished." he said, looking concerned that Artemis might actually convince Dumbledore to change his mind.
"Actually Professor-" Artemis began.
"Anyway," Snape interjected, "Your insight is not required Mr. Fowl. The Headmaster has made his decision."
"No no," Dumbledore said, observing the scene in amusement, "Let the boy speak Severus."
Artemis' stone mask slipped to show a tiny bit of smugness, before he cleared his throat, wiping away all signs of satisfaction, "While Harry and Weasley certainly can't go unpunished, I feel like expulsion is taking it a bit too far. After all, they didn't do it for attention, they had an actual reason for doing it. They just... panicked and made a reckless decision."
McGonagall smirked at Snape's horrified face, before nodding at Artemis in something akin to approval, "Mr. Fowl has a point. They had good intentions. As Head of House, I believe that detention and 50 points each from Gryffindor should be punishment enough."
"But-but-" Snape spluttered.
"Very well." Dumbledore said, with a twinkle in his eye," Do what you think is best Minerva. But I will be writing to both of your parents about your actions. Another incident such as this one will result in your expulsion, and no amount of fancy talk could get you out of it." he said sternly, before smiling one of his signature grins, "You two boys should thank your friend, Mr. Fowl, that you're still here."
Dumbledore nodded to both teachers and sent Artemis a (slightly disgruntled) smile before leaving Snape's dark and dreary office.
"Professor," Harry spoke up nervously, "when we took the car, term hadn't started, so – so Gryffindor shouldn't really have points taken from it, should it?"
Professor McGonagall gave him a piercing look, but he was sure she had almost smiled. Her mouth looked less thin, anyway he finished, watching her anxiously.
"While I am touched that you are considering how your actions would affect your house, you and Mr. Weasley escaped expulsion by a millimeter, Mr. Potter." she said, "Do not push your luck." she warned, strolling away briskly.
"Of course, Professor." they chorused, not particularly surprised, before leaving the room in a hurry.
*****Line Break*****
Artemis had already known that stopping Snape's 'worst enemies' from getting expelled wouldn't exactly endear him to the teacher.
Thankfully, he seemed more resigned than infuriated.
"Did you really have to poke your nose into this, Mr. Fowl?" Snape asked, "Couldn't you have just kept your thoughts to yourself for once in your life and let me relish the sweet feeling of revenge?"
Artemis stared at his teacher, slightly concerned about his mental state, before replying with a shrug, "Sorry Professor, but a lawyer always defends his client."
"Lawyer?" Snape asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Artemis shrugged, "Everyone in this cursed school seems to see me as their unofficial lawyer anyway, I might as well make it official."
Snape's lip curved upwards, in something resembling a smile, "Go join your friends in the common room, Mr. Fowl." he said, "The feast must have finished by now."
Artemis nodded, turning to leave.
"Mr. Fowl," Snape called, "The password is Pureblood, by the way. Although..." he began thoughtfully, "You don't seem very concerned about that first-year who wandered off." he stated, amused and slightly exasperated by the looks of it.
"Oh, you know how it is, Professor." Artemis said off-handedly, "They'll find their way back eventually. They always do."
"Indeed." Snape agreed, his lip twitching, before offering him a curt nod and following the others out of the room.
Artemis found Harry and Ron waiting for him outside Snape's office.
Surprisingly, Weasley was the first one to thank him, "Thanks mate," he said, relief evident in his voice, "We owe you one."
"That you do." Artemis agreed.
"Seriously though," Harry said, beaming at him, "I would've been sent back to the Dursleys if it weren't for you!"
"I was being serious." Artemis replied, "I fully intend on cashing in on that debt."
Harry laughed breathily, "Of course, I shouldn't have expected anything else."
Artemis' eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, "Why would you expect anything else? I clearly stated that-"
"Never mind." Ron cut him off, "How did you know we were here?"
"You really thought that me and Hermione wouldn't figure it out?"
"Well, no, but-"
"First of all, we saw you flying past the train in that car." Artemis said, ignoring Weasley completely, "Later, when we saw that you two weren't at the feast, and that Professor Snape wasn't there either, it was easy enough to figure out what had happened. They sent me to find out what was going on and to help you out, since you obviously would've made a mess of it on your own." he ignored the Gryffindors' protests, "Anyway, we have more important things to worry about." he dropped his voice to a whisper, " We figured out who stopped you from getting onto the train." he said dramatically, deeply relishing what he was going to say next.
"Really?" Harry asked eagerly, "Who?"
"I'll explain tomorrow, in the library." he said with a smirk, keeping his voice low, before turning on his heel as though nothing had happened, "Now if you'll excuse me, there are two very anxious Slytherins waiting for me to tell them all about what happened."
Artemis dramatic exit was ruined by Ron calling after him.
"You know that we'll just ask Hermione, right?" Weasley yelled.
Artemis decided to pretend that he hadn't heard a word.
A.N:
Hello again!
So, what do you think?
I made the punishment a bit more severe this time, mainly to give Artemis something to do. Also, I always found it super unfair that Harry, Hermione, Draco and Neville lost 50 points each for SNEAKING OUT OF BED, but didn't get anything but detention for BREAKING THE LAW! I mean, what?
Anyway, Artemis is officially the Lawyer of Hogwarts. No further explanation required.
Dumbledore is grudgingly respecting Artemis for giving him an excuse to not expel Harry by the way, if you couldn't tell already. He still doesn't like him much.
That's all for now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
As usual, please comment and vote!
-Keera（⊙ｏ⊙）