I'm a woman of my word ;) This was originally one huge chapter so I cut it in half and its still 5,204 words long. Editing is not my strong point. :P

The next chapter carries straight on and depending on how nice the reviews are (HINT HINT!) I'll have it up by Thursday.

Please review, you know how happy it makes me. You'll probably be screeching at me by the end anyway, because you know I love a good cliff hanger...hehehe.

El xx

"ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE.

Allie brushed her thumb over the words that had be scrawled long ago by the looks of it into the Perspex divide in the train carriage; some sombre soul had put them there one dreary morning and she didn't doubt they had waited for her. Waited however long it took for this wonderful moment of irony when she, Allie Dunham sat down alone and spotted them.

Her fingers shook as she traced each sharply carved letter, her breath coming out in low, shallow pants as her eyes darted about the crowd, looking for a face she knew, perhaps one she didn't. Anyone, anything who could make this journey more bearable.

"How did he die?"

The words shot through her skin like pieces of jagged glass and she swallowed hard, turning to face her assailant, trying her best to keep from screaming and falling to the floor like she wanted to.

"Mummy?"

She blinked at her daughter, shaking herself from her reverie with a timid smile as she met the gorgeous blue eyes that haunted her dreams every night. Pete's eyes.

"What, sweetie?" she whispered.

"The giant," Poppy held up her copy of The Iron Giant and pointed to it, the pages so worn from where she and Pete had read it over and over; the unmistakable chocolate stains on the corners leaving no mystery to whom the book belonged. "How did he die?"

"You uh..." Allie laughed and ran a hand through her hair, shifting closer to her daughter. "You don't remember?"

"No," the small blonde shook her head. "Forgot,"

"How many times did Daddy ready you this?" Allie raised an eyebrow, picking the book up out of her hands and trying to swallow the lump in her throat as she pictured them sat together on her bed, Poppy wedged between them demanding they do the voices differently for each character. "You know the Giant..." she paused for a moment, feeling the pain searing inside her burning her insides. "The Giant saved the whole town, he saved his family...he did what he thought was best. He was very brave, that Giant."

"Maybe Daddy will read it again today," Poppy asked her hopefully, her eyes wide, her hair falling down into her face and covering the nearly healed wound on her forehead. "Do you think he will?"

Allie felt tears burning her eyes, not sure how she could respond. Her insides seemed to seize and she jumped, oddly relieved when Alex began to cry softly in his pram. With a shaking hand, she reached down and gently took his small, chubby hand in her own, feeling him grip her fingers tightly, his cries turning to mindless babble as he stared at her.

"Mummy?" Poppy pried once more.

"I don't think so sweetheart," she felt a tear slip down her cheek and quickly brushed it away, making a point of tucking her hair behind her ears as she smiled weakly at her daughter, her eyes drifting down to the bouquet of flowers on the seat next to her and she felt faint. "Not today,"

Pete Dunham's heart had stopped at exactly 5.19pm on March 6th, 2014.

He had touched the face of his wife, his best friend, the one thing on this planet who had made life worth living. And then he had died.

Staring down at the words, written so clearly, so plainly as it were perfectly normal for him to die, to just disappear and cease to exist, the blonde shook and without looking, threw the clipboard back onto the hospital trolley where it had come from. What was the point in staring at it any longer? It wouldn't make it untrue. Everything that had happened that day was far from being the nightmare he wished it had been. They had all gone to the hospital, Allie's screams echoing through the hallway as she fought violently with Bovver who did his best to hold her back, to calm her down. Natalie had sat on the floor and wept for hours, scratching madly at the crooks of her arms, wanting, needing for the first time in years something to take it all away. The boys had stood sombre and cold, tears left to dry on their faces, blood marring their clothes.

It had all been real.

"So is it true what they say?" the nurses voice cut through the silence around him like a knife and he pulled back from the trolley as she stepped into the room, like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"What do they say?"

"You know," she smiled. "All bright white lights and the ghosts of Christmases past there to greet you with a pint?"

Pete laughed lightly, still more than aware of the bones in his chest that had yet to heal. Apparently taking an entire ceiling to the torso made for some pretty impressive injuries. The pain at the time hadn't been so bad but then, he recalled with a snort, he had been too focused on the fact he knew his body was going cold, that his breath was laboured and that Allie, the woman he loved was watching it all happen. He hadn't had time to think about the pain. He'd been too worried about her, too focused on taking her in, memorizing every inch of her to even think about himself. Because it would have been the last time he saw her.

His eyes darted back to the chart and he read it over and over, just that last line.

Revived at 5.26pm.

Revived.

"I don't know about the ghosts," he winced as he pulled himself further up the bed, wiggling his toes against the rough cotton. "But there wasn't a pint in sight. Just bad manners, if you ask me. I mean what's a bloke got to do?"

"Well whoever was up there obviously didn't want to see you," she quipped. "Because they sent you back,"

"No surprises there," he smirked at her. "I'm more trouble that I'm worth,"

"I was getting that impression reading your notes," she raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever thought of just...moving to the countryside and taking up fishing or something?"

Pete laughed at her, shaking his head and glancing out the window at the azure sky. How many times had he been here? How many times had he stood at this precipice? It had been too long, they had all lost too much this time. It was over. He knew it and so did the boys; granted they had vowed never to go back to the GSE more than once in the last few years but this...this felt different. They all had too much to lose now.

Staring down at his wedding ring for a long moment, Pete drew in a shuddering breath and felt his eyes burn with the sting of tears.

"I called her,"

He looked up at the nurse as she pulled the door open, half way out as she met his eyes and smiled kindly.

"But I couldn't get through. If I know your wife's timetable and I think by now I can safely say I do," she laughed. "She'll be on the train, so she won't have signal. But she'll be here soon,"

"She doesn't know?" Pete swallowed hard, suddenly nervous. "She doesn't know I'm awake?"

"None of us did until you threw yourself out of bed and knocked the bloody table over," she laughed, hoping to ease the look of panic on his face. "But she'll be here soon."

"How bad was it?" he asked her quietly. "When I...came back, whatever the fuck you want to call it," he laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair which was longer now. "Did she see..."

The nurse sighed and stepped back into the room, leaning against the wall and meeting the young man's eyes. How could someone so young with such a gorgeous family have ended up in the mess he was brought in with?

"We had to sedate her," she told him honestly, feeling guilty as he threw his head back and whispered some obscenity under his breath. "We couldn't...we had to be careful about what we said to her. We couldn't tell her you'd be alright because we didn't know. You had a cardiac arrest and they brought you out of it but the chances of it happening again were high. You lost a lot of blood and your injuries..." she gestured to his chest which was covered in bandages and snorted. "Well, I don't think I have to tell you about those,"

"Will she forgive me?" he asked her, noting the confused look on her face. "You've read my file," he laughed. "This ain't exactly a first for me..."

"Pete," the nurse walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, meeting his bright blue eyes and smiling. "The way that girl sat here hour after hour, not eating, not sleeping...she grieved for you before you'd even gone. You were the only thing that existed. So yeah, I think you're safe there." she wrinkled her nose and pulled the covers up over his chest, hiding the bandages and various wires. "Although maybe sugar coat it a little. And grovel. We're a fickle gender, there's nothing that can't be put right with a diamond,"

"You reckon?" he laughed.

"Pete," she laughed, shaking her head. "The only thing that woman will want from you when she sees you is a hug, that much I can promise you now,"

"I'll fucking kill him," Allie breathed, running down the hallway full pelt, wincing as she clipped one of the dinner trolleys with her knee. Her leg still hadn't healed fully since that day by the river and every time she felt it twinge all she pictured was Pete. Dying. His blood on her hands, his heart beat slowing, the faces of the paramedics as they'd informed her there was nothing to be done. The nurse had been waiting for her when she had strolled in, Alex restless in his pram, Poppy still firing questions at her as she held onto her hand, swinging it, so carefree, so unaware of where they were and why they were there.

And then the nurse had spoken. Her words were soft but to Allie they were like explosions, lightening and thunder, bringing the earth shattering down around her.

He's awake.

"I'll fucking kill him," she sobbed again, shaking her head as she slammed through the door to his room, stopping dead when she saw the bed was empty. The covers were pulled back, the faint flecks of blood on them making the all too familiar taste of bile rising in her throat.

How had it come to this? A few days ago they had been talking about having another baby, laughing, having dinner, being normal, everything was behind them. And now...

Allie sobbed, pressing her fingers to her lips as her eyes darted about the room. Where the hell was he?

A loud crash interrupted her train of thought, the small bathroom door to her left rumbling menacingly as though someone or something was throwing themselves at it. She watched, unsure of why she was so afraid and then tentatively began walking towards it, not unlike a little girl afraid to see if there was a monster in her bedroom closet.

Another bang, this time louder made her jump and she stopped, her body rigid.

"Bollocks to this,"

Allie closed her eyes and clutched her face, peering through her fingers at the door. She should have known better than to think the first words she would hear out of Pete Dunham after being unconscious for five days would be in any way poetic.

The door shook again and this time, slammed open, the beast inside fumbling with his crutches as he balanced against the wall with one hand, his eyes focused on the floor as he fought not to slip. He sensed it then. The same thing he had sensed that night nearly ten years ago on the train, when he had looked up and seen a girl walk into the carriage, the picture of perfection, everything he could and would ever want standing in front of him.

The woman in front of him now was even more beautiful, her deep green eyes shimmering with tears, those soft full lips that he had claimed as his own for the last ten years opening and closing slowly as she fought for something to say. His girl. Letting his eyes drift down her body, taking in every curve, every dip he knew so well, he smirked suddenly.

"You brought me flowers?" he raised an eyebrow, meeting her eyes. "Christ, I really was at death's door then?"

Allie choked out a laugh, her hands shaking as she licked at her dry lips, desperate to say something, anything. But all she could do was stare at him and say a silent prayer to whoever or whatever was up there that he was still here. Dropping the flowers in question, she crossed the small space between them at such speed that he barely saw her move, only knowing she was there when her arms came around him. He grunted in pain as she pulled him in tight but didn't care, why the fuck would he?

Letting his crutches clatter to the floor, he wrapped his own arms around her small, shaking body and breathed her in, closing his eyes when he felt her sobbing into his chest.

"What?" he laughed when he heard her mumble something sharply, one of her firsts thumping gently on his chest.

She pulled back from him and he felt his breath catch as he stared down at her; Jesus she was gorgeous.

"You're a fucking idiot," she closed her eyes as she shook her head, her hands still pressed against his chest as tears flowed freely down her face. "I lost you..."

Pete closed his eyes and remember the words on his chart; she had lost him. For however many minutes, he had been dead. And she had been there, seen it all, held his hand as he drifted away. If their roles had been reversed, if he'd had to watch her die...

His mind drifted back to last year when she had been shot by Sarah Hatcher, watching her fall to the floor, the blood pouring out of her, her skin going grey, her eyes losing their light...

Pete held her tighter, his lips tight as he fought to keep his own emotions in check.

"After 10 years you of all people should know it takes more than a cheeky tumble through a couple of floorboards to get rid of me," he smiled into her hair, pressing his lips against her forehead. "You're stuck with me, Harding,"

"You promise?" she whispered back, her hands clutching at his shirt. "Because I can't do this anymore. Your heart stopped, Pete. I was trying to...to wake you up and I couldn't," she sobbed hard and kept her eyes closed as she felt his hands cup her face, resting his forehead against her own. "I kept thinking about waking up without you every day and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to tell Poppy...I was..."

"Hey," Pete pressed his lips to her forehead, shushing her quietly. "I'm so sorry, Allie." he breathed her in for a moment, not entirely knowing what else to say. "Look at me," he ordered her, pulling her face up and using his thumbs to brush some of the tears off of her cheeks. "I promise you, nothing is going to happen again. You're not gonna lose me, alright?"

Suddenly his blue eyes flashed with anger and he set his gaze on hers, surprising her with his harsh tone.

"And what the fuck was you doing throwing yourself down there after me?" he shook his head. "You could've..."

"You said you wouldn't leave me," Allie whispered, her hands roaming his face, memorizing every inch of it. "Well...I wouldn't leave you either. Tell me, look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have done the same,"

Pete frowned; she had him there. If she had been the one who was hurt, he would have thrown himself of London Bridge if it meant getting to her.

"You still..."

"Pete," Allie half sobbed, half laughed. "I've been in this room five minutes and you haven't kissed me yet. And as much as I love fighting with you, I really need you to shut your damn mouth and kiss me,"

Pete smirked at her knowingly.

"So I fall through a fucking floor and you're still bossing me around?" he raised an eyebrow, catching the playful twinkle in her tired eyes.

"Looks that way," she slipped her arms around his neck and brought his face down to hers. "Now you can bitch about it or you can shut me up."

He laughed, bending his head down lower and ignoring the pain that shot through his neck, he kissed her; softly at first, then harder until he turned her, pushing her back to the wall next to the bathroom door, raising one of his arms above her head to press against it, keeping himself upright as she kissed him wantonly. His chest began to burn as he fought for air and he pulled back reluctantly, hating himself for it.

He stared at her for a long moment, all mused up hair, swollen lips and shimmering eyes. The nurse had been right, whoever had sent him back down here, he owed them big time. The idea of not seeing her, not kissing her every morning, not getting to see his daughter growing up, not seeing his boy kick his first goal...there was nothing worth giving that up. Nothing.

"Where..."

"Daddy!"

They both turned and looked through the window out into the hallway, seeing the tiny chubby fingers clutching at the window ledge, the head of blonde waves jumping up and down, the nurse stood behind her with Alex in her arms laughing as the little girl tried to jump high enough to see into the room.

"I better let her in," Allie laughed, staring at the side of Pete's face as he watched their daughter and son looking in on them, the love in his eyes so intense in that moment, she felt her stomach twist, her body growing weak as the emotions she had spent all week holding in coursed through it. "She's been here as much as I have,"

Walking over to the door, she yanked it open, bending down and catching the blue eyed sprite as she bolted through it, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"Go easy on him," Allie whispered with a smile. "He's not as tough as you are,"

"I know," Poppy grinned at her, frowning slightly as she noted the tears on her mothers cheeks. "Don't be sad, Mummy."

"I'm not," she promised her, giving her a gentle push. "Go on, go say hi,"

Not needing to be told twice, Poppy launched herself across the room and seeing her for the first time since...that day, Pete refused to acknowledge the searing pain in his body as he crouched down and scooped her up, her tiny frame lost in his arms as he buried his face in her hair and cried quietly.

"Alright trouble?" he mumbled, letting her pull back and smoothing her hair back from her face, his fingers lingering on the cut on her forehead. The things she had been through and still here she was, smiling at him, so much love and trust in her eyes that he felt like asking her why. Why did she love him? Why did she trust him to be there for her when he'd done nothing but fail her?

Snorting quietly, he recalled the number of times he had asked her mother the same questions over the years and always received the same answer. A smack to the back of the head and a kiss.

"You look dreadful," Poppy cocked her head to one side and he laughed loudly, ignoring the pain in his chest.

"Dreadful, eh?" he rubbed his jaw. "That's a new one,"

"I watched Mary Poppins," she nodded proudly.

"Oh I see," Pete grinned. "One little bump to the head and its a whole week off school watching films is it?" he frowned, trying to look stern. "Well there'll be none of that when I get home, its straight back to chimney sweeping and shoe polishing for you."

Poppy stuck her tongue out at him and then bent down, rummaging around in the backpack she always insisted on carrying with her and pulled out a book, grinning proudly.

"I brought the Iron Giant," she told him. "Mummy said you wouldn't be able to read it today but you're awake..."

"Baby," Allie laughed as she hoisted Alex from his pram and held him close, her heart clenching as she felt him kick and gurgle excitedly as he spotted Pete. "I think Daddy still needs to rest..."

"But I can't read past this page," Poppy frowned, turning back to Pete and opening the book. "I get stuck on the big words. And you weren't there to do the Giant's voice,"

"So that's why you missed me then, eh?" Pete laughed, taking it from her and shifting, trying his best not to let the agony show on his face but he underestimated his daughter.

"Get into bed," she pointed at his messed up cot and took his hand, leading him over. "We can all read it,"

"Sounds like a plan," Pete coughed as he stood, shuffling behind her, laying down gently and pulling her up with him, ignoring the look Allie gave him. "Come on then," he smirked, reaching out and catching her by the waist. "That means everyone,"

Placing Alex on the bed between them, Pete stared down at his son and brushed his lips over his head, grinning down at him.

"Alright, mate?" he winked. "Cheers for looking after the girls,"

"Hey," Poppy frowned. "I don't need looking after,"

Pete looked at her, seeing the determination pass over her features and knew part of it was true. The girl had pulled herself through so much and whilst he hated that she had seen so much so young, he was amazed at her ability to cope with it. But then she was a Dunham, this is what they did.

"Yeah well its my job," he grinned. "So button it and get reading," he gestured to the book and shuffled back in the bed, casting a grateful glance at Allie when he felt her hand on the back of his neck, easing him into the bed. Turning to her, he frowned when he saw the tears on her face.

"Oi," he whispered, his voice low as Poppy began sounding out words loudly. "What's this?"

He touched her face and she breathed deeply, leaning into him and closing her eyes, not bothering to wipe the tears away.

"I'm fine," she told him softly. Her green eyes opened and bore into his with such fierce love and relief that he felt his stomach plunge, realising the hell she must have been through the past week. "Really, I'm ok,"

"You sure?" he mouthed to her, needing so badly to talk to her, to hold her while she cried but he knew she wouldn't let go. Not with the kids there.

He could see in her eyes, the pure grief there something he hadn't seen since Lara had died. Something was wrong but she wouldn't say, that much he could tell.

"Daddy!"

His daughters voice jolted him from his thoughts and he looked down at her, a smirk pulling at his lips as she pouted and gave him the same expectant look her mother did every time she pissed him off.

"What?"

"The Giant has come back to life, you have to do the voice," she nodded, pointing to the page and then grinning at Allie. "I told you the Giant came back to life. He wouldn't just die. He comes back and makes everything better,"

Allie laughed softly, tilting her head back as though trying to keep the rest of her tears inside; she needed to speak to Pete but now wasn't the time. What he needed, Christ, what she needed was to just be with him and their kids, to be normal. The rest of it would wait.

But it would all rear its ugly head sooner rather that later. If there was one thing Allie Dunham had learned in the years she had spent privy to the GSE and their world, it was that the things never stayed buried for long.

"He's fine, we all are,"

Allie cradled the phone between her jaw and her shoulder as she stirred the pot of lamb tagine she had brewing, knowing it was one of Pete's favourites and true to form, the most complicated recipe she knew. On the other end of the phone, her father continued to take that tone with her. The tone she knew not to argue with. Granted, she knew how much her father adored Pete but there was no question that in the last few years, he had had more phone calls alerting him to a Dunham family emergency than any father would ever want to hear.

"Look, you're back here in a few days so you can see me for yourself but I promise I'm fine, Poppy and Alex are happy, Pete is home." she sighed, pausing to lick some cause from her thumb. "We're happy, we're healthy, short of a doctors certificate I don't know what more I can give you that's going to shut your trap,"

She grinned at his colourful response and rolled her eyes, leaning her elbows on the marble counter top and trying her best to ignore the way the stitches in her leg and her stomach pulled.

"I love you, I'll see you soon."

Hanging up the phone, she reached for the saffron, pinching it between her fingers and dropping it into the bubbling stew. Taking a deep breath, she reached for her glass of wine, almost spitting it out when the kitchen door swung open and an all too familiar shout drifted through.

"Tap it, you slag!"

Benjamin Ellis grimaced, slamming the door behind him and shaking his head at the gorgeous blonde, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"FIFA?" she guessed.

"Tekken," he told her, laughing when she made an "oooooh" sound. "How's my second favourite gal?"

"Second?" she raised an eyebrow. "Well sod off and get your own dinner, then,"

"Aye, if your daughter is in earshot, she'll have my balls for bunting," he grinned as she laughed, sliding onto one of the stools on the other side of the counter.

"Ok, you're forgiven," she conceded. "How's my boy?"

"Alive," he snorted.

Allie shot him a dark look and he held up his hands.

"Too soon?"

"For death jokes, in this house?" Allie laughed. "Never."

They fell into a comfortable silence, Benjamin watching her chopping up various and frankly scary looking Moroccan vegetables and throwing them into the pot. Had ne not seen the tremor in her fingers, he would have almost believed that the other night hadn't happened. That they were all the people they were a few weeks ago.

"You haven't told him, have you?"

Allie froze, her back to him as she moved to open the fridge door. She could feel her whole body trembling, her eyes stinging with tears as she bit her lip so hard she worried for a moment that she might cut into it with her teeth.

"I haven't had the chance,"

"Allie," the Scotsman pushed himself up from his chair and stepped towards her, stopping when she turned to him, her ethereal features so twisted in grief and anger that he barely recognised her.

"He's been home two days, Ben," she snapped. "I can't just..." she sighed and rubbed her neck tiredly. "Now isn't the time,"

"I don't think there's a time for these things, sweetheart," he told her gently. "And the longer you keep it in, the harder its going to be,"

"You think this can get harder?" Allie cried, her voice low as she stepped towards him. "It will kill him, Ben. It will put him in the fucking ground and I can't do that to him." she blinked back the tears and folded her arms defiantly. "Who says he even has to know,"

"You can't be serious," Benjamin snorted. "Jesus, sweetheart, I know this isn't easy but..."

"You were there and I was there," she interrupted him. "Two people, Ben. And that's all it has to be."

"I know you, Harding," he pressed. "Aye, you've been my best friend as long as Petey Pie has and I know that what happened isn't going to be easy to tell him, its not going to be easy for me to tell him either but..."

"You don't tell him a goddamn thing!" she spat.

"Do me a favour," Allie ran a hand through her hair and avoided his eyes at all costs. "Go and tell the boys dinner is ready,"

"Allie," Benjamin snapped, grabbing her hand. "This isn't going to go away until you tell him what happened,"

"And then what, Ben?" she asked, her voice desperate. "We fight? We split up? He blames himself, I blame myself? No. No, what we need is to go back to normal, what I need is to..I just...I need..."

Her hands were shaking so violently that her entire body had begun to quake; he watched as she pressed the back of her hand to her lips and let out a silent sob, his heart breaking as he watched her crumble, unable to do anything because he knew it wasn't his place.

"Just tell them dinner is ready," she mumbled, shoving past him and running towards the door, letting it slam behind her and leaving him in silence, wondering how the hell he was going to face Pete Dunham through an entire meal with this playing on his already battered conscience. They all had blood on their hands. And for the first time, he knew it would take more than a sarcastic comment and a cheeky hail Mary to get them clean.

You didn't think it would go from a riverside massacre to happy days, did you? :p Go ahead, leave me some abuse xxx