Three days past. Three sleepless nights. The clock mocked me with its reserved ticking. From dawn to dusk I sat in my room. It felt like high school all over again. I browsed the internet for something of interest to distract me from my loneliness. I read some books and painted Persephone. Golden juices trickling from a freshly bit pomegranate down her black arm. A look of beautiful desire on her face. Eyes closed in ecstasy as she swallowed the tart seeds. Motivation to complete the project was fleeting. Every sunset, it dwindled a little more.

Once a day, I received a face-to-face interview with Dr. Banner. A wellness check. He'd wait to be invited in and sit with his clipboard, reading from a medical script. "Have you experienced any suicidal thoughts or action within the last 24 hours?" He'd check off the "no" response and carry on, "Any thoughts of hopelessness, like you feel the world would be better off without you?" Another "no" for the record. The questions always felt the same, just different wording. This was my only interaction with another human being. It was my own fault. Dr. Banner was kind enough to try and hold a conversation with me, but I didn't have the energy to speak. He'd comment on my artwork, but I could only shrug and say, "thank you" in a monotone voice.

Then he'd leave, advising me to get out and explore Avenger's Tower. Get some exercise and fresh air. Then I'd be alone again.

For three nights, I crawled into bed. I'd close my eyes, but my mind refused to rest. My body refused to relax. My mind was a cloudy storm, refusing to process the events that passed. They just circled the track like a greyhound. A never-ending race.

I curled up in bed, holding my knees to my chest. I couldn't stop shaking. It felt like my bones were trying to escape its fleshy prison. My skin felt tight around my muscles. Veins rattling with unseen energy as an imaginary drum thumped against my skull. It was agony. The last three days have been a fun mixture of different Hells all converging within me. Was it just me? Was it manifesting from elsewhere? I no longer had the clearance to find out. I sank deeper into my blanket pit feeling useless. It killed me to think of what they were doing to Loki. Were they torturing him? Is that why it felt like my insides were being spun in a blender? Was he just sitting comfortably in bed? Bored out of his mind like me? Did he miss me?

If I could just sleep. Just one dream. Then I could see him and make sure he was okay. I buried my face into my pillow. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing, soaking through the fabric. I couldn't stop the sharp jolts from churning my insides. I couldn't stop the worry from burning through my supply of happiness. I just couldn't stop.

Another night where I didn't succumb to sleep. The pale light of morning spilled into my room with dim purple and blues. The sun just barely overcoming the dark night sky as autumn waned. Day four.

It was strange having a whole day to myself and no motivation to fill it. I just wanted to stay in bed, but Dr. Banner advised me to leave my room. Honestly, I was scared of what might happen if I didn't listen. I didn't know how much authority he had here, and I wasn't about to risk my job just to spite him.

How long had it been since I had a real meal? My desk was littered with granola bar wrappers and bottled water. My stomach growled angrily. I took it as a sign. I ventured to the cafeteria in S.H.I.E.L.D. sweatpants and a matching blue hoodie, hood pulled up, of course. I grabbed myself a bowl, a mini box of sugary cereal, and a small carton of milk before finding an empty seat. I consumed at least three spoonful of rainbow circles before Dr. Banner roamed my way.

"Just the woman I was looking for. Mind if I sit?" he asked carrying a bowl of oatmeal and fruit.

Charmed by his meek smile, I gestured for him to take the chair across from me. I lost the hood out of respect. I didn't try to hide my misery. I poked around the bowl, scooting loops around like little pool floaties, watching them bump into each other.

"Why were you looking for me?" I asked somberly.

"Just checking in," he looked down at his bowl of beige goop and sighed, "you look exhausted. Did you sleep okay?"

"I don't sleep," I stared blankly. I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror recently, but I could feel the deep purple bags forming under my eyes.

Dr. Banner was puzzled and concerned. His default expression around me. It was nice to know he cared, even if it was just an obligation of his job. "Listen, I assumed you were stretching the truth when you answered the mental health surveys, but if this is a symptom of a mental illness, you really need to tell me or someone in medical."

"It's not. Maybe at first it was, but I've been trying to sleep, and I just can't. I think somethings wrong with Loki and it's affecting me in a negative way."

"Does this happen to you often? Because of your empathy."

It was easier to answer these questions without a notebook present. It felt more like a casual conversation than an interrogation, yet Dr. Banner's voice had that professional tone to it. Like he was writing everything down in his head. Storing information to use later.

"It used to. I'd manifest intense emotions to the point where my parents wanted to homeschool me. It took me years to get it under control, but I did. Now, it all feels like background noise," I replied.

Dr. Banner nodded the way doctors do when they want to show that they're listening. The silent head bob with narrow eyes. "Can you explain further?"

"You know when everything is quiet. Dead of night in the winter. Not even the wind is howling. You can still hear that high pitched ringing? It's sort of like that. Passive emotions that don't affect me unless I home in on them and let them."

"What changed?" he asked. His soft teddy bear eyes were intense with a hunger for information.

I shrugged. "Loki, I guess. I've been building a hypothesis as to why. I think it's because he's not from here. He might be on a different frequency. A different telepathic wavelength and I never learned how to cancel it out like I can with average humans. Even above average humans, like yourself."

He nodded more. "That's definitely a solid thought. It makes a lot of sense," he said as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. His lips twitched in thought. "Maybe I can get the med team to prescribe you something."

"Please don't," I interjected immediately, "it makes everything much worse, trust me."

Dr. Banner sighed in exasperation. A doleful look tugged at his face. Inside, he was fighting with himself. Not the usual battle for the driver's seat. This was inner turmoil with Bruce Banner the man. Logic and emotion duking it out for dominance. Finally, after a small pause, he pinched the bridge of his noise.

"What would you suggest? You can't go on like this."

There was only one idea in my head. One I didn't want to say out loud. I was already so embarrassed with my behavior. Even if no one knew of my romantic connections to Loki, it was clear to everyone that I was unprofessionally intrigued by him. It felt like a silly idea. Something a teenage version of me would ask for. But it was my only idea and I needed sleep. I needed to get better.

"I think I need to see Loki," I admitted, biting my bottom lip shamefully.

Dr. Banner let out another exasperated breath. A disappointed aura surrounded his frame. I sank back into my chair. I just wanted to hide inside my hoodie like a turtle. It made sense in my head. If I talked to Loki, saw that he was okay, and was able to get him to calm down, then I'd be able to manage my own shit. Saying it made me feel stupid. Like I was a silly little girl with a heavy-hearted crush.

"Come with me," Dr. Banner announced, rising from his chair.

We discarded our barely eaten breakfast and I followed him into the depths of Avenger's Tower.

Loki's cell door wasn't guarded for once. Dr. Banner strolled through the tower's underbelly with confidence. Almost like he owned the place. I suppose, in a way he kind of did. Out of all the people I've formally met here, he had the highest clearance. He had no problem walking up to Loki's door. Well, he had one problem. The fear. I could feel it. I tried to ignore it, but it was palpable. Something about Loki scared him. I could take a few guesses as to why.

As we approached the door, he began fidgeting with his hands. "This is as far as I'll go for now. He's restrained, so he can't hurt you."

"I don't think he'd hurt me regardless," I replied knowingly.

Dr. Banner chuckled nervously, almost mockingly. "You don't like to listen, do you? Don't say I didn't warn you, kid."

He punched the numbers and twirled the locks, opening the loud heavy door. Beyond the doorway was the familiar dull room I'd come to enjoy. The table was set up with its usual chairs. Windows were small skinny rectangles near the ceiling with dark metal bars over them. A stack of randomly collected books were waiting to be read on an end table. The small white cot had changed. Handcuffs were chained to the frame of the bed, attached to Loki's wrists and ankles. He laid there with his eyes closed. Pale faced, sullen looking, and calm. He could've been sleeping. If not for the miniscule breathes he dragged in, I would've guessed he was dead.

He was neither of those things.

I pulled up a chair and sat next to his bed. The metal legs dragged against the tile floor with a heinous sound.

"I'm not talking to you," Loki proclaimed with a surge of annoyance.

"Why?" I asked, my voice on the verge of cracking.

His eyes fluttered open. His lips parted in a shocked gape. "I'm sorry, I thought you were..." his eyes passed over to the cameras, "I guess it doesn't matter because you're not them."

"It's just me. Sorry to disappoint," I shrugged.

Loki raised a hand to my face but hesitated, coiling his fingers into a pensive fist. Chains rattled against the metal frame. "You're a welcomed sight," he smiled weakly.

"I don't know how long I have. I'm still not technically supposed to be here. I just needed to check in on you."

"Ah," he began, "a wellness check?"

"You haven't been sleeping," I said, noticing his bloodshot eyes and dark bags.

A small quake of distress unsettled him for a moment. He quickly swallowed it. "Neither have you," he stated, pointing to my own fatigued features. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, unable to form into words how not-okay I truly was. Unable to process what was my emotions between the overwhelming force of his and maybe every other person in Avenger's tower. I could feel his desire to touch me. Caress my cheek. Comfort me with a secure embrace. I felt his longing mingle with mine to create an unbearable sensation.

"What's going on?" I asked, "Why did they chain you to a bed?"

"You don't like it?" he cocked a cheeky smile. "It seems that because I tried to save you from cracking your head open on the floor, I was rewarded with these beautiful accessories. Don't expect any more heroics from me."

"This is all my fault," I sighed. My chest fell as regret pressed into it.

"Stop," Loki exhaled.

"If I just managed my issues better, this wouldn't have happened and-"

"I said, stop," he commanded in a sultry and stern voice.

I quickly closed my mouth and locked the rest of my words away. His eyes were like blue embers, crackling around a black sun. Passion, fury, hunger, suffering, and joy all adding fuel to that fire.

"It was only a matter of time before something like this happened. I'm a villain. At the moment, I'm the villain. I put myself in this position."

"I don't think a villain would hold themselves accountable like that," I replied, hoping the cameras caught that. Hoping whoever was behind the cameras took it into account. Hoping Agent Hanna could find it in her cold heart to listen to him.

Loki smiled. A genuine, yet small smirk. "Thank you," he muttered shyly. "You got into this situation because of me. If I can give you any sort of compensation for your misery, let me. I'll tell you whatever you want. I'm done playing games."

Just as the moment felt too perfect, the door opened with a heavy swing. Three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, along with Hanna burst into the room. Rage flooded the air. Hanna's rage. She didn't need to say anything. Her soul screamed for her. I didn't struggle. I didn't want to fight. I didn't have any strength reserved for this. I just followed them out of Loki's cell and into her office. Shame once again filling the void.