Merlin had gotten exactly no sleep last night.
First, a collection of golems had come to life just outside the castle, and he had been unlucky enough to be the only one who was able to stop them. He whispered a spell to shatter them just as one of the castle guards hit it with his sword, to which the guard's face quickly became one of pride while his presumed victory over the golems was celebrated by those who saw him defeat them.
After that, he'd cleaned the mess of golems by orders of the knights and brought the remains to a location on the far side of the castle. He was then ordered to tend to the knights' injuries they had sustained, and finally to retrieve a very obscure object for another knight that took him three tries and eight hours to find.
He'd not had time for breakfast the next morning as Arthur expected him early, and had skipped the last five meals for similar reasons so could feel the burning sensation of hunger in his stomach for the third day in a row.
"Rise and shine Sire!" Merlin called, mustering up all the cheeriness he could. A groan could be heard from the lump of blankets that was Arthur and Merlin had to resist the urge to smack him over the head as he had the benefit of a full night's sleep and Merlin was still more awake than he was.
After a great deal of restraint from Merlin and about fifteen minutes of him tidying up odd spots of the room, Arthur finally sat, fully dressed at the table with his breakfast plate, awake and ready to tackle the day's responsibilities.
As he prattled on about the duties listed for the morning, Merlin had to pause making the bed as he noticed dark spots dotting his vision. He stopped moving for a moment, steadying himself, and his vision blurred for a moment before refocusing without the aforementioned dark spots.
"Merlin, are you even listening?" Arthur called in exasperation. "Yes, sorry sire. You were discussing the council to occur this morning?"
"Yes, it's extremely important and I won't have your clumsiness interrupting it. God, Merlin, you look as though you've just seen a ghost."
Merlin had now leaning against the bedframe, eyes squeezed shut and face paler than could be healthy. At first Arthur was joking, but he got up now, slowly walking towards him. "Merlin?"
Merlin's face relaxed just before he collapsed, Arthur diving to catch him and barely avoiding him hitting his head on the floor. Arthur's eyes widened and his heart started beating quickly. He picked up the young servant, shocked at how light he was, and put him on his own bed. He called for one of the guards and yelled to get Gaius quickly. Merlin began sweating and he quickly retrieved a towel, also taking off his servant's scarf and sweater leaving him with the red shirt underneath and cringing at the dark scars that peeked out from underneath his sleeves.
He sat beside Merlin, face contorted in fear, until Gaius entered the room. Arthur quickly stepped aside and allowed Gaius to rush over to Merlin. He knew Gaius was like Merlin's father, and although one would not have guessed by Gaius' controlled expressions, he feared for Merlin as much if not more as Arthur did.
Arthur regulated his expression in the presence of Gaius, not eager to make it known how much he cared for his servant, but he remained terrified that his servant might not make it. Was he sick, enchanted, injured?
Gaius placed a towel soaked in cool water on Merlin's forehead and carefully lifted up the bottom of Merlin's shirt, exposing his chest, where his ribs were clearly visible and it was obvious he was not eating as he should be. He didn't seem to react to the scars, which then brought a new thought to Arthur's mind; did he know about whatever it was Merlin was hiding?
Gaius fixed Merlin's shirt and covered him with Arthur's blanket. "It's likely not wise to move him as of now. Allow him to rest, and when he wakes alert me. If you should stay here, you should be aware; Merlin has nightmares."
Arthur frowned. He'd been scheduled for an important meeting to discuss the most recent sighting of sorcery amongst the outlying villages, but despite his better judgement sent word through one of the guards that the meeting would have to be postponed to a later date. Merlin always considered caring for him to be of the utmost importance, and at this point Arthur could understand why - despite the looming threat of sorcery outside Camelot's gates, Merlin was ill, and that was all that mattered to him.
It was about three hours later that Merlin started stirring.
Not waking up, to Arthur's dismay, but he was frowning and sort of twisting in his sleep. He recalled Gaius saying he had nightmares, and paused, unsure of whether to wake him or allow him to sleep as Gaius previously ordered him to do.
"N-no," Merlin whimpered. "Arthur, n-no,"
Arthur frowned, quickly returning to Merlin's side and grasping his servant's hand. "It's okay, I'm here," He said quietly.
"I-It'll kill you, n-no," He continued, oblivious to Arthur's words. Unsure of what to do, Arthur, somewhat awkwardly, just held Merlin's hand, dabbing his forehead with the cloth and hoping his nightmare would pass.
Merlin seemed to calm at that, and stopped speaking, relaxing back into his slumber. Arthur's expression relaxed a little, still concerned for his servant.
At this point, he knew that Merlin had faced the loss of Freya, clearly endured more than some seasoned knights, and was hiding something major from him. The idea that he also had nightmares so routinely that Gaius felt it prudent to mention for the few hours Merlin would be staying with him just seemed like another piece to add to the puzzle. What had happened with Merlin? It seemed he didn't truly know his servant after all, despite him being unquestionably his best friend.
A half an hour later, Gwaine showed up to visit Merlin. Arthur knew the two had gotten closer, and was suspicious that it seemed to happen after he asked Gwaine to keep an eye on Merlin, but he trusted Gwaine with his life, so felt that if there was something he wasn't telling him, it wasn't something he needed to know.
"How's he doing?" Asked Gwaine, frowning at his friend's frail form. He was concerned that he hadn't noticed something was ailing Merlin, and set out to be more confrontational when it seemed his friend was not okay.
"Same as before, only really stirred once. Muttered some things and went back to sleep."
Gwaine nodded, not hiding his concern as Arthur was. Sometimes, Arthur found it shocking how easily other people showed that they cared - it hadn't really ever come easy to him.
Merlin began to stir, this time to wake up. He blinked blearily, sitting up to face the two men in front of him.
"Ay, there he is! How you feeling mate?" Gwaine asked, smiling and helping his friend to sit up.
Merlin smiled back, a bit weakly. "Alright. What happened?"
Here, Arthur stepped in. "You fainted. Gaius will be here soon; I told the guards to let him know you're awake. Were you feeling ill?"
Merlin shrugged. "Not particularly. Just tired, and I guess hungry."
Gwaine frowned now. "What'd you skip breakfast, or miss a few hours of sleep?"
Merlin broke eye contact, a bit embarrassed. "Uh, more like a couple breakfasts. And lunches. And dinners. And, I guess I didn't get any sleep last night."
Gwaine gave his friend a light smack. "What? You've been skipping meals?"
It was at this point Gaius walked in, smiling at the sight of Merlin awake. "Ah, Merlin. There you are! I took the liberty of procuring a lunch from the kitchens, here you are."
Merlin graciously took it, not waiting to eat it. Once he had finished the plate of food, he felt worlds better, and stood up carefully before nodding at Gwaine, who had his arms outstretched, ready to catch Merlin if he fell.
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience sire, it won't happen again." He nodded towards Arthur, who stood baffled.
"Merlin, I expect you to take care of yourself, but in the event that you fall ill you need not apologize." Merlin looked up briefly, clearly not confident that was the truth, and replied with "Yes sire," Before exiting.
Gwaine and Gaius followed, leaving Arthur shocked. Did Merlin really think he had to apologize for fainting? He was frustrated at him, in part, since his response clearly ended the conversation in such a way that left Merlin not believing he was allowed to fall ill without inconveniencing Arthur and Arthur no ability to elaborate and reassure his servant that he was, in fact, allowed to be ill.
It was clear to him that Merlin did not value his own life. He sat quietly in his desk chair, contemplating all he had seen in the past months. Clearly, Merlin was not okay. He couldn't confront him about it without knowing what he was hiding, though. He resolved that he would have to confront Gwaine about what he knew.