Hello, my lovelies! I hope you're all doing good.
I promised an update this weekend, sorry I couldn't have it up sooner. I had two graduation parties this weekend. It's been a little crazy.
Moonie, I'm fine. Thank you for asking! And no worries, I appreciate your remarks and your comments. They help me improve the story, so thanks.
After they had ordered, Steffy and Taylor made small talk about futile topics until Taylor's curiosity finally got the better of her. She took a look around them and then turned to Steffy. "Ok, we're away from indiscreet ears. And I'm all ears."
Steffy raised her gaze to her.
"What's going on with Liam?" Taylor interrogated.
Steffy sighed and took hold of the glass of the water that the handsome, sexy waiter that had gotten her and Taylor settled had brought them. What? Just because she was on a diet didn't mean she couldn't look at the menu.
"Did he do something?" Taylor tried.
Steffy took a long sip, and put the glass down with a small bam. "You could say that. But he doesn't know it." She answered. "I mean I don't think he did it intentionally." She explained.
"Okay…" Taylor nodded. "Can you give me more information?"
Steffy then began to explain everything to her mother. "The other day, Liam and I were having dinner at this new Italian restaurant. Besito I believe."
"Yes. I heard about it. Go on." Taylor prompted her.
"Yes, so we were at this freshly opened restaurant enjoying a delicious meal when guess who we saw."
Taylor slightly shrugged and shook her head, having absolutely no idea.
"Hope and Oliver."
"Stop it."
"I swear. I thought I was having an optical illusion. Of all the hundreds of restaurant there are in LA, we all had to be in that one at that moment."
"Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry." Taylor spoke with a voice full of empathy, tilting her head to the side. "I'm sure that wasn't the highlight of your night, but I don't see what this has to do with you being mad at Liam."
"I'm not finished." She raised her hand telling her mother to wait for it. "And I'm not mad at Liam. I happen to be a little annoyed at the moment, and I don't feel like talking to him, that's all."
"In other words, you are mad at him."
"Yeah… Anyhow, so we were enjoying our meal and having a lovely conversation when suddenly, Hope and Oliver walk in, and they get seated only a few tables behind us. They were holding hands and were as close as they could possibly be without being one on top of the other." Steffy said and Taylor listened to her with attention. Hope and Oliver. Together. This was news.
"Oliver was whispering what I assume were sweet words into her ear, and Hope was as giggly as I have seen her in a very long time." Steffy continued her narration.
"Well. I didn't know she and Oliver were dating again." Taylor commented, although she still failed to see how this was related to what was currently going on between her daughter and her future son-in-law.
"Neither did I."
"Okay, but isn't this a good thing? I mean Hope is finally moving on. This is great news for you. I'd think you would be happy about it." Taylor didn't understand what the matter at hand here was.
"Oh, I am! Make no mistake: I am very happy for Hope and Oliver. May they get married and have lots of children."
Taylor laughed at Steffy's words. She internally rolled her eyes. What a daughter she had!
"I was ecstatic when I saw them together, hand in hand. However, not everybody was."
Taylor's eyes widened as she started to put two and two together. "Ohhh…"
"Yes." Steffy nodded.
Right then, their orders arrived.
"Thank you." Taylor acknowledged as the waiter placed her meal in front of her.
He took a little more time when it came to serving Steffy and slightly, unintentionally brushed the back of her hand with his, causing an unexpected shiver to course through Steffy's body.
"Enjoy your meal." He said to them both. "Let me know if you need anything." He finished his phrase staring at Steffy with a fervent gleam in his eyes. She actually felt her cheeks turn crimson at his look. His lips curved into a satisfied smirk before he turned and went to attend another table.
Steffy's eyes widened a little. Okay, perhaps, that hand brushing wasn't unintentional.
Taylor who had witnessed the entire exchange with wary eyes looked at her daughter.
"Well, Steffy, you're in there." She commented nonchalantly, picking up her cutlery. Steffy's lack of response made Taylor look up. The young brunette seemed completely absent. "Steffy!"
"Huh?" Taylor finally got her attention.
"He seems to like you."
Steffy picked up her cutlery as well and raised her gaze to her mother. "Who?" She faked oblivion.
Taylor gave her a look. That very same look Steffy gave Liam so often which meant "You don't feel like you're taking me on a ride, do you?"
"Nothing." Taylor decided to drop it. "You were saying?"
Steffy's face dropped. For a second, she had forgotten. She sighed silently. "I was saying we were eating. We were having the main course when we saw Hope and Oliver all lovey-dovey. Personally, I was super happy. I was enchanted to see Hope so happy with someone else." She paused and scoffed. "But Liam's face oh my God, Mom. You should have seen it. Jealousy was written all over it."
"He was like in a daze or something. He didn't seem like his usual self. All the blood of his circulatory system rushed to his face. His face was red, and he was radiating anger." Steffy told as she relived the moment.
"Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry." Taylor eventually spoke.
"I had never seen him like that before. It hurt."
She snapped out of it and her eyes met her mother's sympathetic ones. She shook her head and looked away striving to choke back her tears. "He's still in love with her." Her voice came out as a soft whimper as a single tear slid down her cheek.
"Oh Steffy. My baby. You shouldn't have to go through this. Experience these emotions. Especially not being pregnant." Taylor said, feeling so deeply sorry for her daughter.
Taylor knew Steffy's sorrow and her pain. She knew the great places they occupied in her heart. For she had been there. She knew exactly what Steffy was feeling and knowing that her only daughter still alive was facing these feelings, it all but broke Taylor's heart.
Steffy sniffed and shrugged. "It's the life that I've chosen. The man that I've chosen."
Taylor reached for Steffy's hand on the table and held it. "You don't choose who you love."
"It's true. It's the beauty and the cruelty of love."
Taylor ran her thumb along the back of Steffy's hand. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry you're hurting. You shouldn't have had to witness that, and Liam's reaction was absolutely inappropriate. But honey, it doesn't necessarily mean what you think it does."
Steffy raised a brow and shook her head, confused. "What do you mean?" She asked.
"Men are possessive and proud. They can be done with someone, but once they realize that person is getting over them, it drives them mad. It's their ego, Steffy. It's their male pride that is hurt. It's not their heart."
Steffy shook her head. "No, it was more than that. I know what I saw in his eyes." She affirmed. "Hurt. And betrayal."
"That's exactly what I'm saying, honey. He must have felt hurt and betrayed because for the first time in forever, he felt Hope slipping away from me."
"But she's let him down. Again and again. She's turned her back on him more times than I could count." Steffy frowned in incomprehension.
"But she never really left him. She never really severed their connection. It was always there. Even when they were apart, she remained his. Now that she's with Oliver, things will be different, and I think Liam's starting to see that. Such a realization wouldn't please any man." Taylor explained to her daughter. "Hope is learning to live without Liam. She's moving on. She's actually moving forward with her life. With someone else. Her first love no less. She's not his anymore. You can't expect Liam to be ecstatic about that, even though he hasn't been hers in a long time."
Steffy looked away, contemplating her mother's words. Maybe Taylor was right; maybe she had a point. She was a psychiatrist after all, and Steffy trusted her mother's judgment. But even if Taylor had gotten to the heart of the matter, it didn't make any of this ok as far as Steffy was concerned.
"Maybe so. But I can't be expected to just sit there and watch Liam be obsessively jealous about his ex-girlfriend reuniting with her ex-boyfriend. I won't." Steffy said determinedly.
She gave a little nervous laugh. "You know I –I think I've been really understanding through this whole situation. Ever since it started. And more than any other woman would have been."
"I agree." Taylor said.
"I've done my best to be patient and supportive and understanding. I've put Liam's needs above my own. I've put his happiness above my own. But I realize he's never done the same for me." At this point, her eyes were brimming with tears. "And I'm so tired. I am so so tired of giving him my all and not getting anything in return. I cannot do this any longer."
She wiped a tear off her cheek but was not able to prevent other tears from falling from her other eye. "Wonderful. I'm crying. Why am I crying?!" She exclaimed in a small voice, wiping away her tears.
"Steffy…"
Steffy removed the serviette from her lap and stood up. "I have to go to the restroom." She excused herself before doing just what she said.
/
"I need to go to the restroom. I'll be right back." Taylor stood up.
"Ok. I think I'm going to order dessert. Can I get you anything?"
"I'll have a Black Forrest Cake please."
Steffy nodded as she picked up the menu. "Very good choice. I'll get one too."
She looked over the menu once again to make up her mind when she perceived a silhouette from the corner of the eye.
"Uh, we'll have two Black Forest Cakes and strawberry ice-cream please. Two scoops."
"Well, you have quite an appetite."
Steffy's breath caught in her throat as she recognized that voice, although she didn't know the name of the owner. She lowered the menu enough to see him. The handsome waiter who had gotten her and Taylor settled and had served them.
He gave her a devastatingly sexy smile and Steffy couldn't help her lips from forming a smile in response. At his heated gaze, Steffy suddenly felt shy. Was she blushing again?
"Everything going alright?" He asked her.
"Yes." Steffy thanked God the Broca's and Wernicke's areas of her brain were still functional.
"Did you enjoy the food?"
"Yes." Ok, surely she could do better than monosyllables. "It was really good. The service too. Thank you."
"Glad to hear it." He smiled. "I'm Wyatt." Wyatt officially introduced himself.
Steffy nodded. "I'm engaged."
Wyatt laughed. "Okay… I was actually hoping you'd tell me your name."
Steffy chuckled and diverted her gaze towards her lap. After a moment, she looked up. He hadn't moved at all and was watching her expectantly.
She shook her head. "Uh-uh."
"Why not?!"
She shrugged. "Why? We'll never see each other again. What's the point?"
"That's what I'm saying. At least, we'll know each other's name. What if I see you in the streets or something? Am I just supposed to yell 'Hey, beautiful stranger!'? "
Steffy burst out laughing. "What are the odds?"
"Ah, you never know."
Steffy stared at Wyatt curiously. "You really don't know who I am, do you?"
"No?" Wyatt knit his brows together in confusion. "Why? Should I?"
She supported her chin with her fist and merely stared at him. He really didn't seem to know. It was kind of refreshing she had to say. To meet a man who had no idea who she was, who her family was, the things she had done. Someone who was just genuinely interested in her.
"Are you a celebrity?" Wyatt asked jokingly, sitting down in Taylor's chair.
Steffy smiled. 'If you knew' she thought to herself. "I'm Steffy." She said finally.
"Steffy." He repeated. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl with a beautiful smile."
She rolled her eyes and looked away, blushing slightly. "Smooth talker." She commented softly.
"I am." Wyatt admitted. "But I mean it. Earlier, I – I couldn't help but notice you shedding tears while talking to your mother."
Steffy jerked her head towards Wyatt. "And do you watch all your clients so closely?"
"I – I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I was attending a table and -" He tried to explain himself but she cut him off.
"You just happened to see us."
"I'm sorry. It was indiscreet of me."
Steffy silently agreed. It was indiscreet and inquisitive of Wyatt. Not to see what he saw. But to ask about it.
"I'm really sorry." He apologized again.
"Never mind."
"No. I do mind. I upset you and it wasn't my intention at all."
"Wyatt. It takes more to upset me."
"Really?"
Steffy smiled weakly at him. He was so sweet. He had known her for five seconds and here he was: concerned that he might have upset her. "Really." She reassured.
"Good." Wyatt nodded. He stood up and walked over to Steffy. "For the record, I only mentioned it to make sure that you were ok."
Once again, Steffy was caught off guard by Wyatt's kindness. Men like him didn't walk the streets. Good-looking, charming, nice, sweet. She had noted all that in only five minutes.
"Are you?" He directly asked as she didn't answer his implied question.
"I am." She replied softly.
"I'm glad." Wyatt raised his hand and moved it towards Steffy's face, but then thought better of it and dropped it. "Like I said: you have a beautiful smile." He bent down to get eye level with Steffy.
He was so close to her she could feel his breath skirt over her cheek. "Why cry when you could smile?"
He drew himself up. "I'll be back with your two Black Forest Cakes and your ice-cream."
"Thank you!" Steffy said a bit loudly when Wyatt was already several steps away, although what she was thanking him for was very ambiguous. He turned around to address her a tender smile.
/
Steffy went home early that day so she would have time to think about what she would say to Liam. Her mom was right: she needed to tell him what was on her mind. She should have told him when they came back from the restaurant that same night instead of keeping it to herself like she did.
What idea! She who preached honesty within their couple.
Poor Liam. She had been passively angry at him for days, giving him cold stares and imposing him hostile silences.
She had really lacked maturity this time.
Finally, two hours after Steffy did, Liam arrived home.
"Hi." Steffy said in a low voice.
"Hi…" Liam greeted back, surprise dripping from his voice. It was true that for Steffy to be home before 7 p.m. was rather unusual. "You're home early." He noted before quickly adding, "Not that I'm complaining, it's just –I don't remember the last time you returned from work before me."
Steffy smiled weakly at him.
"I'm glad you're here though." He walked over to her.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah! Of course." He answered as he settled beside her on the couch. He reached out inside his pocket and pulled out a jewel-case from it. He handed it to Steffy.
She looked at the box then up at Liam. "For me?" she asked.
"You see anyone else here?" He teased.
Steffy took the jewel-case and gently opened it. It contained a sparkling silver bracelet. Steffy saw an inscription. She picked up the bracelet to read it. It was an S and an L intertwined, forming together an F.
"Steffy and Liam forever." Liam said out loud.
Steffy raised her gaze to Liam, her green eyes shining with unshed tears.
Liam stroked her cheek tenderly. "Do you like it?"
"I love it. It's beautiful."
He took the bracelet from her hand and put it on her left wrist, closing the lock.
Steffy admired the jewelry on her forearm. It went marvelously well with her engagement ring. "Thank you." She looked up at Liam to find him gazing at her, a smile at the corner of his mouth. "Thanks."
Liam took Steffy into his arms. Holding her tight, he whispered, "You're welcome."
They broke away after a minute.
"How was your day?" Liam inquired.
"Good." She answered. "Not so good actually. I didn't get much done."
"Me either."
They stared at each other for a moment.
"We need to talk." They spoke at the same time and shared small laughter.
"Yes, we do." Steffy reiterated. "I'll go first if you don't mind."
Liam nodded.
"I've been acting strange lately, and I know that you've noticed. You must be wondering what's going on."
"I am." Liam confirmed.
Steffy proceeded to tell him everything. How his reaction when he saw Hope with Oliver didn't only offended her, but also hurt her. How he royally ignored her for the rest of the evening, making her feel like he would have rather be anywhere but with her.
"There. I told you everything." Steffy said. "Stupid, huh?" She looked down, obviously embarrassed.
Although about what, Liam had no idea. Steffy had nothing to be embarrassed about. He was the stupid one. How could he not have realized this by himself? It all seemed obvious now.
"Steffy." She kept staring at her lap, refusing to meet Liam's gaze. "Steffy." He called again, and this time cupped her chin and gently lifted her head.
Their eyes finally met. Liam's heart broke a little at what he saw in Steffy's emerald green eyes: hurt and pain. He hated being the one to have caused that. He only wanted to bring her smiles and happiness.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize." Liam apologized. He moved his thumb to caress her cheek before he continued, "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know."
"I should have been more aware." Liam self-criticized.
"I may have overreacted a little. It's not like you actually did anything -" She conceded before Liam interrupted her.
"No, you were absolutely right. I mean if our roles were switched…" He shook his head. "If I sensed the tiniest bit of jealousy coming from you because of Marcus and Dayzee or Rick and Caroline, I would go completely crazy. Things would not go well." He confessed, making Steffy laugh a little, although her laugh wasn't as loud and clear and beautiful as it usually was.
"You hurt me." Her voice came out gentle but tortured.
"I can tell, and I'm sorry I couldn't before." Liam took her hand in his and closed the gap between them a little more. "I really didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't realize I seemed jealous. I wasn't jealous." Liam emphasized on that last sentence, clarifying the situation.
Steffy merely gave him a skeptical look.
Liam tilted his head. He wasn't certain it was a good idea to admit that. "Okay. Maybe a little." He acknowledged. Steffy looked away. "But not in the way that you think." Liam added.
Steffy frowned. Were there several ways to be jealous?
"You know Hope and I…" Liam started as he struggled to find his words. He really wanted to make his point home without hurting Steffy. That last part was crucial. Mostly, he didn't want Hope to ever be an issue between them again. He wanted to bury all these feelings of mistrust, of jealousy, of doubt and of incertitude.
"Hope was very important to me… She still is. I understand that you might not want to hear that, but -"
"It's the truth." Steffy completed for him. "And I want to know the truth. Always. Even when you think it will hurt me. Especially then."
Liam inhaled deeply. He couldn't help images of his kiss with Hope before she flew to Paris from passing before his eyes. He shook his head. Oh God, how could he tell Steffy this? Did she need to know? What would be the point? It would not reassure her at all where his relationship with Hope was concerned. And if he could get Hope to promise him not to say a word, then…
"Liam!" Steffy's voice brought Liam out of his reverie.
"Yes?" He answered.
"I know you still care about Hope." She paused. "And I don't blame you for it. You were together for a really long time. She's always been a big part of your life. Of you." Steffy added with difficulty.
"She has." Liam nodded. "That's why I reacted the way I did when we saw her and Oliver at the restaurant. I had no idea that they were dating again or even that they were seeing each other. Not that she had an obligation to tell me, but… It was just so awkward seeing her with someone else." He explained. "You know?"
Liam's gaze got lost in the wall behind Steffy. When Liam chose Steffy and ended things with Hope, he understood that he and Steffy would move forward together, build a life and be insanely happy, but strangely enough, it didn't come to his mind that Hope's life would not just end there. It escaped him that at some point, Hope would move on too. Eventually, she would turn the page; build a life of her own… with someone else.
Liam didn't realize that at the time. It all suddenly dawned on him in that restaurant when he caught sight of Hope and Oliver hand in hand, blissfully happy; hence the pang of jealousy. It hurt. For a moment there, he couldn't help feeling like he should be in Oliver's place. Like he was being replaced.
Steffy tilted her head as she listened to Liam intently, taking in everything he said. Once again, her mother's perspective was right. His confessions weren't easy to hear, but she felt that they had to be out in the open. It was best and saner for their couple that Liam was honest with her, even when it caused her pain.
"It takes time." She said softly.
"Yeah… It does." Liam mused.
Steffy ran her thumb along Liam's hand soothingly to provide him the support he so desperately needed. This wasn't any easier on him that it was on her. And Steffy knew it. He was the one with the conflicting feelings. He was the one with the head spinning, thoughts racing through his mind hundreds a minute. He loved her. He wanted her; and she knew it. But she also knew that a part of him was still in love with Hope, and she had trouble blaming Liam for that. Could he really be held responsible for what his heart felt? Was it possible to decide to stop loving somebody? Not that Steffy knew.
She cupped Liam's hand in hers and planted a tender kiss on his knuckles.
Liam turned his head to look at Steffy, a smile in his eyes. To make it short, she was stunning. So full of compassion and love and understanding. Her goodness towards him was staggering.
Liam shook his head. His gaze roamed Steffy's face before settling on her eyes. "How did I get so lucky?" He voiced his thoughts.
Steffy smiled. "You must have a lucky star that watches over you."
"Certainly." He removed one of his hands from Steffy's hold and stroked her cheek. "Thank you for being so understanding." He acknowledged.
She touched his hand and moved it away from her face. "I do understand. I understand that you still have feelings for Hope. I understand that there is a part of you that is still mourning that relationship. It's ok. It's normal. You were together on and off for years. You wanted to spend your life with her. You don't just get over that kind of love overnight. I get it."
"Okay?" Liam wasn't entirely sure where Steffy was going with this.
"But let's be clear, Liam. The fact that I understand doesn't mean that I'm okay with it. I won't accept this situation forever. This isn't easy for me at all."
"I know." Liam said. And he did. He realized how hard this was on Steffy, and he was mad at himself for making her go through this.
"Good. Because I'm expecting you to bring this all to an end. You can't expect me to live like this. I can't. I have been in this situation before. More than once. I've lived in it. I know the damages it can do. I'm the living proof of it."
"Steffy, we've talked about this. You are anything but damaged. You are such a beautiful, strong, inspiring young woman." Liam interrupted her. He couldn't stand hearing her talk about herself so poorly.
"Liam, please let me finish without interrupting me. This isn't easy to say. I know what it's like to grow up with a father with divided loyalties, who has two families in his heart: you never feel like you're his priority. I won't make my child go through that, Liam. It's not even an option on the table."
Her baby wasn't born yet. It was still growing in Steffy's stomach, warm and safe in its cocoon, protected from the world and its troubles, but Steffy already loved her baby so much. It was her everything. This child was and would always be her number one priority. It was the first thing Steffy thought of when she woke up in the morning and the last thing before she fell asleep. Every decision that she made now, she thought of the potential consequences for her baby.
She wouldn't let this child grow up the way she, Phoebe and Thomas did. Without a father's unconditional love and complete devotion and with a heartbroken mother who tried her best to keep it together. She wouldn't let history repeat itself.
Steffy brought her hand to her stomach to the spot where she could feel her baby moving. "All this child needs in order to be happy is two parents who love them and who take care of them. I want them to be raised in a healthy environment, full of love and compassion and understanding. And in order to accomplish that, we need to be happy." She affirmed, gesturing between the two of them. "And Liam, how can you expect me to be happy when the man I love is in love with someone else?!"
Liam looked down, avoiding Steffy's gaze. "I'm working on it." He said in a small voice.
Steffy let out a nervous laugh. "Right. Except you've been working on it for a while, don't you think?" She arched an eyebrow. "Let's be honest here, Liam. You've been struggling with your feelings for Hope for as long as I've known you."
Liam cleared his throat, embarrassed.
"What? Am I lying?" Steffy challenged.
He raised his eyes towards her. "No, you're not lying."
She shrugged. "So can you blame me for having doubts about us?" She asked him.
"No. I guess I can't." Liam answered, seeming resigned.
"We agree."
"So where does that leave us?" Liam dared to ask. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so afraid to hear the answer to a question. He had never seen Steffy be so pessimistic about their future before, even at the time when he didn't her think there was any hope left for them.
Steffy's expression took a pensive air, as though she was recalling something. "A couple of weeks ago, you asked me when exactly I wanted to get married, and I brushed you off saying I was too tired to discuss it, remember?"
"Yes." Liam nodded.
"Ever since, I've been avoiding the matter entirely."
"I've noticed."
"I don't want to marry you, Liam." Steffy declared, and in that second, Liam swore his heart stopped beating and the world stopped turning. "I don't want to marry you until I know that I'm the one in your heart. The only one."
Liam looked down at the floor. She was right. All her points were valid. Everything that she said was true. They were in an impossible situation, and he honestly didn't know how to get them out of it. Nothing he could say would make this better; so he said nothing.
"You don't know where you stand, Liam, and because of that, I don't know where we stand." Liam could hear the desperation in her voice. He could see how much this was hurting her. He knew her enough to know that she did want to marry him; she simply couldn't.
"I want you to be happy, Liam. So much." She emphasized. "But you know I've just reached a point where I sort of want to be happy too."
"And I don't make you happy?" Liam asked.
"You do. Some times."
"Not all the time."
Steffy looked down, then back up at Liam. "No."
Liam nodded bitterly. "I wish I did."
"It's really up to you, Liam."
They stared at each other for a long minute until Steffy heaved a sigh and stood up.
"Where are you going?" Liam retained her hand.
"To make dinner. Thomas is coming over."
She retrieved her hand and started walking away.
"Steffy." Liam called. He waited for her to turn around and lock eyes with him. "I love you."
She smiled at him. "I know. It's not the problem. What I need of you is that you stop loving Hope."
With that, she went ahead to cook dinner.
Liam retrieved his phone from his pocket and sent a text to Hope:
I need to talk to you. My office tomorrow at 11?
His phone vibrated less than a minute later:
Ok. About what? Is it bad?
He typed a quick reply:
No. Don't worry. We'll talk about it tomorrow.
About the questions I asked you: two of you want a boy, three want a girl, and one wants twins, one of each (that's a little ambitious). I got three votes in for a pre-baby marriage and two for a post-baby marriage. So... thank you for opinion. We'll have to see what it is.
Wyatt's character was introduced in this chapter. Is he here for a short while or is he here to stay? Could he maybe spice things up a little?
What did you think of Steffy's reaction? Did she overreact?
As always, reviews are appreciated.
'Till next time.