Chapter 4

Subaru awoke in yet another unfamiliar location. However, this was not what he focused on. Instead, what gripped his attention like a vice were the hundreds of tendrils of pain coursing through his body.

The next several months were unlike anything Subaru could have possibly imagined. Trapped deep underneath the earth, held captive inside a prison that glowed with hundreds of ominous runes. Sleeping fitfully on a rough, uneven stone floor. Eating food which could barely be called fit for animals. And, of course- the interrogations.

Some days these merely took the form of intimidating, hawk-faced individuals who would grill him with question after question, for hours on end. Questions about where he was from; what he was doing in Lugunica; how he joined the Witch Cult; and more on every facet of his life. Often they simply asked the same questions, stating them in different ways and then tearing apart, twisting his answers, creating discrepancies and lies where Subaru hadn't intended there to be.

Often he was drugged during these sessions. They forced him to take dozens of different concoctions, each with the hope that one of them would finally get him to spill his secrets about the Witch Cult. Often he felt like he was going insane. Often he knew he was already.

But always he would wake up after these interrogations, his mind purged from the more pernicious effects of the drugs. Yet on those days he felt not some benign emotion such as gratitude or hope- no, the only thing which he felt was fear- fear and terror at what was coming.

For on the days in which the Inquisitors didn't come- the Surgeons did. These individuals always came dressed in robes of pure white and gold. They were distinguished looking figures, people who wouldn't look out of place teaching in a university or sipping coffee in an Italian cafe. Yet it was under their care that Subaru learned the true meaning of dread.

Whenever they came they would experiment upon Subaru. Dreadful, terrible experiments. Sometimes they would test new weapons on him, seeing if the blades would cut through bone or just the muscle. Often they would test new magics; searing, freezing, twisting, burning crushing, pulling- there was never an end to their 'progress.' They would constantly belittle Subaru, say things such as 'this is the least you can do in return for the people you have killed.' Yet even worse than when they belittled him was when they ignored him altogether, treating him not as a human, or even as a living creature, and instead as a movable diagram of what a human could be; a living practice dummy.

At the end there would always be the questions, of course. These Subaru answered even more incoherently than the Interrogators. Pain would often blind his answers, slurring his words and lending a primal insensibility to his words. More often, though, especially near the end of those three months, he succumbed to a new form of insanity- that of a potent and profound numbness.

For hours after the Surgeons would leave Subaru would lay there on the stone floor. He didn't care that the only meal of the day sat beside him, uneaten. He didn't care that his eyes had already at the wall for countless hour upon hour. He didn't care that his mind was dying even as his lifeblood dripped and trickled onto the floor, making him a macabre bed to rest upon.

There was always a different individual who came with the Surgeons. This person wasn't dressed in those sterile white and gold robes; instead, they were a demihuman with cat ears who dressed in a moderately ornate dress, which looked entirely out of place in this hell.

After the Surgeons had performed their grisly work, this individual would come up to Subaru and, with a gentle, soothing blue light, wash away his pains and wounds. Well, some of them at least. Many of the less fatal injuries the Surgeons forbade from healing; so that they could use them for their long-term experiments. How Subaru came to hate that light, that soothing feeling of his wounds being removed. After all, all it meant was that the torture could resume anew; that the Surgeons could inflict more and more lethal wounds on him without care for the consequences.

This individual was unlike the others; for while their eyes held nothing of remorse or compassion, this person was different. Initially he- or perhaps she? Had much the same expression. However, as the weeks and then months dragged on, life seemed to emerge from those eyes. First it was a glimpse of revulsion; horror, perhaps; a realization that what they were doing was fundamentally wrong, no matter the criminal. Later it morphed into a look of pity, then compassion, remorse; and finally, anger.

It had been a week now since that person had yelled at the Surgeons. The memory was buried faintly in the back of Subaru's mind; for even though it happened so recently, time had begun to feel strange, and memories had begun to warp and twist, taking on odd dimensions and proportions.

On that day, during the middle of one of the Surgeon's 'sessions', that person had strode forward. Yelling ensued, a massive argument; and then, they all left. It had been a week since Subaru had seen anyone, any other living individual; and for that he was glad; after all, people meant pain.

Thus began Subaru's isolation. For two months not a living soul stepped foot inside Subaru's hell. For this he was glad- for people meant pain. Once, they had meant something else. Occasionally, faint memories of family would pop into his mind, These memories he held onto and treasured, for the memories of his mom and dad were the only things keeping him sane.

Yet even these most prized and precious of memories were warped and blurry. Some days he couldn't recall their names; other times he couldn't recall their faces. It was an agony altogether different from that of the Inquisitors and Surgeons- the agony of knowing that everything who he was, everyone who he knew was slipping away- and there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it.

Then light shone into the dungeon. For the first in two months, footsteps echoed through the underground space, and light graced the walls. Someone had entered the dungeon; someone who swore that they would right the terrible wrong that had occurred here; someone who sought forgiveness- not for herself, but for her nation.

That day Crush Karsten stepped foot into Subaru's hell.

—-—-—-

Crusch stood deep underneath Lugunica Castle, staring at the deeply recessed door that led to the most secure prison in Lugunica. Apprehension welled up inside her as she contemplated what she was about to do; the fact that she was about to meet with someone accused of being a Sin Archbishop.

She had come today to see for herself Subaru, to see with her own eyes if the stories that Felix had been telling her were as bad as they sounded. Despite the fact that she trusted Felix with her life, it was still an intimidating prospect to come here.

However, this was her duty. Even if the Royal Selection hadn't started yet, she was still one of the candidates to the Dragon Throne. As such, it was her duty to look after its citizens- particularly if a terrible, terrible mistake had been made by the knights themselves.

Hand on her sword, Crusch pressed her palm into the surface of the door. Infusing it with a complex though minute blend of all six magics, the door swung open without a sound.

The first thing that hit her was the smell. A rancid, putrid smell burst out of the room, a smell that somehow seemed to combine the worst facets of both an open battlefield and a weeks old trash heap. Gagging, Crusch quickly whispered a quick 'fula'. A small amount of mana flowed out of her, infusing the air around her with a clean, if stale smell.

Peering into the darkness, Crusch strained her eyes to see what could possibly be causing such a smell. The pitch black of the roughly hewed cavern was lit only by the flickering oil lamp which she carried, its feeble rays barely piercing the oppressive darkness. Initially, she didn't pick out anything. Then her eyes widened in horror as she comprehended the sight.

The source of the scent was coming from the ground itself. The entirety of the floor was covered in a thin layer of congealed, rotting blood. The walls too were littered with flecks and streaks of the muddy red substance; it was enough to have come from an entire company of soldiers, but to think that all this came from one person… it was terrible to even imagine what might have caused this macabre carpeting.

A small drain sat in the corner of this room, clearly built as both a makeshift toilet and drain; however, the sheer quantity of the blood had completely clogged it. Urine and feces formed a fetid archipelago, adding to the horrific display.

In the far back corner of the room huddled a naked corpse. Its back was to her, revealing a gaunt back with the bones of the spine sticking up through the stretched thin skin, threatening to break through due to depths of malnutrition. Scars coursed through its body, including a particularly prominent one which ran as a thick, ropy white scar. It stretched from the base of the left ankle up the leg and until it wrapped around to connect with the bellybutton- almost as they had been dissected.

Then the corpse moved. With a feeble motion it turned its head to look at her.

Crusch couldn't help but take a step back at the sight. A single eye stared at her, a gaping hole indicating that the other eye had been gouged out. Yet within the one remaining eye a look of utter despair and pain lived on- yet that was not what made Crusch take a step back. Instead, it was the look of fury, of wrath, or anger- it was the same look that entered Wilhem's eyes whenever the White Whale was mentioned.

With that look, Crusch knew that the Kingdom of Lugunica had made a terrible, terrible mistake. Whether or not this creature, no, this man had been an enemy before… Now there was no question. In his current state, this man would stop at absolutely nothing to bring down the Kingdom.

Strengthening her resolve, Crusch stepped up to the entrance of the dungeon, determined to make right the wrong her kingdom had done- no matter what it took, she would not allow this injustice to go uncorrected.

—-

Over the next two months, Crusch began her work. Despite her status, she had still only managed to convince Marcus Gildark, the Royal Knight Captain, to allow her to visit once per week.

Every week she would arrive. Over the course of the two months, Crusch began to purge the dungeon of its horrific contents. Using a combination of low-level water magic as well as her powerful wind magic she scoured the floor and walls of all traces of filth. Furnishings came next, and a bed, couch, blankets, and, in particular, lights did wonders to turn the grim dungeon into a slightly less despair inducing sight.

During her time working to make the dungeons suitable, she often spent that time talking to Subaru. She spoke in gentle, calming tones, much the same way that one would to an injured animal. Regardless of her attempts to talk with him, Subaru didn't say a single word in reply for the entire first month, instead staring at her with distrustful, hateful eyes.

Slowly that look began to dissipate. By the end of the first month he had begun to talk back. His first sentence to her was simple. He had asked her 'Why?' With a solemn expression she had turned to him and responded simply 'Because you don't deserve what happened to you.' The light in her eyes had blazed then as she continued to speak.'Subaru: by all the honor with which my name holds, I vow to you that I, Crusch Karsten, will make right this terrible injustice.'

—-

Two months after Crusch had first stepped foot into Subaru's hell, Subaru had finally begun to feel human again. When she had first appeared, Subaru had believed that this was merely another ruse, another cruel attempt by the Lugunicans to rip out information which he didn't possess. But then she came back, again, and again, and again. During all of those times, she never once attacked him, never once tore his flesh or ravaged his mind.

She was supposed to come back again today. It was hard to keep track of time, so when the sound of stone grinding announced the door opening, Subaru couldn't help but feel grateful. Perhaps today would be the day he finally spoke.

As the door slowly slid open, an angel entered the room. Subaru couldn't help but stare as Crusch stepped down into the room. Her emerald green eyes lit up the room as her lush brown hair flowed freely down her back. The vivid blues of her crisp military uniform lit up the cavern as it contrasted with her perpetually determined features.

Subaru couldn't help but feel embarrassed at his own underwhelming clothes. They- along with everything else in this cavern- had been gifts from Crusch, and while nice, they certainly didn't hold a candle to her own outfit.

Yes. Today would be the day- the day he finally talked to her, the day where he finally asked her the question which had burning on his mind for these past weeks.

[Subaru] "Why?"

Crusch looked up, startled. Her emerald green eyes instantly flicked around the room, assessing the unexpected situation- then, they settled on him.

[Crusch] "... I don't quite understand what you're asking."

Subaru looked at her, his dark eyes glaring beneath his shaggy, overgrown hair. Despite his scary looking eyes, in that moment Crusch could see a simmering anger- yet deeper than the anger there was a primal sense of fear that undercut his every word.

Subaru spoke in a whisper, seeming to have trouble forcing the words out, and Crusch had to lean forward to hear.

[Subaru] "Why are you here? Why even bother helping someone like me?"

Crusch gave him a gentle smile. She had been hoping he'd ask this for a while now, so that she could truly help him understand that she didn't have any ulterior motives, that his torment was truly over.

[Crusch] "I'm here to help. That's all, I'm here because I want to help."

Subaru looked at her, the anger in his eyes flaring.

[Subaru] "Liar."

Crusch paused, taken aback, thinking that she might have misheard him.

[Crusch] "Pardon?"

[Subaru] "Liar! Do you seriously expect me to believe that anyone from your damn kingdom would ever come here 'just to help?' Take your pathetic lies somewhere else! I'm not going to fall for your lies ever again!"

Crusch took a step backward as the raw fury in Subaru's tone hit her. She'd seen all too much about how physically damaged Subaru had been- she'd witnessed that horrific sight personally. Yet she hadn't ever suspected that the damage to his psyche might be even greater- she hadn't thought such a thing possible.

[Crusch] "No, please, I'm trying to help!"

Subaru snarled back at her.

[Subaru] "What? Am I just supposed to trust you? I know exactly where that got me last time!"

[Crusch] "Listen, Subaru- I'm not like the other officials who did this to you- we're not all the same. Please, just listen for a moment-"

Subaru gave a harsh laugh.

[Subaru] "You're not all the same? Really? If a Witch Cultist were to walk in that door right now waving a black book around, what would you do?"

Crusch flinched back at the statement, because she knew exactly what she'd do. Seeing her uncertainty, Subaru pushed his advantage.

[Subaru] "Would you stop to ask questions? Try to figure out what's going on? No. None of you would! You would draw your sword and either kill them right there, or you would drag them off to a hellish dungeon! You would sever their tendons, crush their hands! You would burn every single inch of their skin, then heal them only to do it again! You would… you would…"

Subaru's fevered rant faltered, his eyes beginning to glaze over. Images began flashing through his mind, horrific memories that brought out the worst of his tortures. All the anger in his expression vanished, replaced by that same primal fear Crusch had noticed before- only now it was not concealed. Now it was prominently displayed, engraved on every inch of his face. His legs lost all strength and he fell to the ground, curling up into a ball and whimpering, locked in a prison of his mind.

Crusch hesitated, taking a moment to reclaim her composure. Guilt began to gnaw at her as she realized that every word he'd said was true- but that was how she was supposed to react, right? The Witch Cult was an enemy to all, and it was her duty to make sure that they didn't hurt anyone… right?

Crusch pushed the moral conundrum out of her mind. She had a more immediate problem to deal with, and this may be her only chance to convince him that she truly did want to help him.

Walking over to where Subaru was lying curled up on the ground, Crusch laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. A tremble passed through Subaru at her touch, though whether from relief or fear she couldn't tell, though she very much hoped it was the former.

In a broken, quiet voice Subaru spoke once more, his gaze trained firmly on the ground, his eyes empty of all emotions.

[Subaru] "Why? Why are you here? Why are you doing this? Why do you even care?"

Crusch scanned the lightly furnished dungeon, buying a couple of seconds for her to formulate her response. Then she spoke, and all uncertainty and worry was gone. Replacing it was the steadfast determination that had helped her stand against the White Rabbit; it was the rockfirm dedication to serve Fourier's country as best as she possibly could.

[Crusch] "This is MY responsibility."

Pausing for a moment to let the words sink in, she continued.

[Crusch] "I may not be the ruler of this country. I may not have the power to change the laws or order the knights. But I am a citizen of it, and I cannot merely stand by and watch as our own knights mistreat and abuse an innocent! That is NOT justice- that is NOT right! The things they've done to you…"

Crusch's tone began to get more heated, her words echoing around the cavern, creating a firm cacophony that proclaimed her singular message.

[Crusch] "Nothing will ever change what they did to you. They broke you, Subaru. But I promise you, by my name and all that my honor has ever meant- I will help you to become whole again! You will no longer be broken! This I swear by my name, Crusch Karsten!"

Resolve infused her words as they echoed around the cavern. Subaru looked up from where he was huddled, broken on the floor. He looked up to see her standing there, as firm as the world, immovable in her resolve. Her hand was stretched out, reaching for him, offering him help.

For the first time since he had arrived in this accursed world, Subaru felt true hope begin to flicker inside of him- the kind of hope that had died out long before he had even entered this world. The images crashing through his head began to flicker and vanish. Reaching up, he grasped her hand, and the last of the images faded. And together- they stood.

As Subaru stood, Crusch smiled.

[Crusch] "Well, I don't believe that we've ever introduced ourselves formally. Allow me to introduce myself- I am Crusch Karsten, head of House Karsten, one of the noble families of the Kingdom. I take it that you are Natsuki Subaru?"

Subaru gave a bitter laugh. He may have regained a shred of his resolve to live, but he was nowhere near 'whole'.

[Subaru] "No. Natsuki Subaru died down here. I am… to be honest, I don't even know who I am. I know for sure that I don't deserve my family name- not yet, at least. Maybe not ever. For now though, I suppose I'll go by Shippai Subaru."

Crusch paused, hoping that she wasn't about to broach a sensitive topic.

[Crusch] "Is it because you're a Witch Cultist- or, perhaps, former Cultist- that you don't feel like you deserve your family name? Forgive me if I'm intruding, but I want to know all I can about you- as a friend, that is."

Subaru gave a bitter laugh.

[Subaru] "That's the thing- I'm not a Witch Cultist, and never was. This entire time, those interrogators were trying to get info from a random civilian! No, I don't deserve my family name because I'm a failure. That's what my new surname means, you know- failure."

Subaru continued laughing with a dark, bitter laugh. Crusch looked taken aback, then appalled at everything he had just said. Deep within her heart she vowed that, one day when she was Queen, she would bring a reckoning to those people who had brought such torment to Subaru.

While she was picturing the retribution in her mind, Subaru turned to her. His eyes had taken on an intense look. It was the same look that swept over Wilhelm whenever the topic of the White Whale was brought up, and to see it on someone so young was unsettling.

[Subaru] "Do you truly intend to help me, no matter what it means?"

Crusch paused for only a moment before answering.

[Crusch] "Yes, I do. As long as it does not cause any harm to others, I will do all in my power to help you."

Subaru smiled grimly.

[Subaru] "Good. There's only one thing I want right now- and that is to never let anyone do this to me again. I want to become strong- at least strong enough to defend myself."

Crusch gave a short laugh.

[Crusch] "Indeed. That seems wise- although I'm not looking forward to explaining to the captain of the Royal Knights that I'm going to be teaching you combat skills. But very well- I will teach you how to defend yourself."