Liam flung Steffy's car keys on the table and slumped on the couch.
"I left my car at the office."
Steffy sat next to him. "It's ok. I'll drive you to work on Monday." She smiled.
"Thank you."
Silence fell between them again.
As much as she wanted to help him, Steffy knew better than most that in times like these, silence and solitude were often the greatest comfort, so she simply lifted his arm to put it around her while she wrapped hers around his back and laid her head on his chest.
Liam planted a kiss on the top of her head, telling her by his gesture everything he couldn't with words: how much he loved her, how much he needed her, and how grateful he was for her.
Others would have tried to cheer him up, to get him to smile, or would have liked him to pretend, but Steffy was satisfied with wrapping her arms around Liam and sitting with him in silence, accepting his sadness, and sharing it.
How he loved this woman more and more every passing day…
/
"Are you hungry? I can fix you something." Steffy offered.
"I should be asking you that."
She brought a hand to her round stomach. "We're ok for now. Although I think baby is craving some peanut butter and chocolate ice-cream."
She pulled away to look at him and found him smirking at her. "Is that so?" Liam raised an eyebrow.
"Mmmhh" She nodded.
"Isn't it funny how you both have the exact same tastes?"
Steffy widened her eyes emphatically. "I know! It's so weird, isn't it?!"
"Mmmhh"
She nodded and then burst out laughing. She covered her mouth as her laugh turned into a giggle fit. "I'm going to see if there's any left in the freezer."
Liam touched hand effectively stopping her from leaving. "I bought some a few days ago. I'll go get it." He said, standing up.
"Thank you."
He returned moments later with a bucket of ice-cream and a spoon. "Here you go." He handed it to her.
"Thank you." She had a mouthful and moaned deeply in delight. "Mmmm… oh God, this is delicious."
Steffy's moan affected a rather large part of Liam's anatomy and he swallowed with difficulty, unable to divert his eyes from hers closed in enjoyment. It felt like it had been ages since the last time they were together.
Steffy opened her eyes and met Liam's darkened ones. A wave of heat irradiated through her body and settled in her core. Feeling her cheeks burning, she had another mouthful of ice-cream. "Do you want some?"
He nodded and opened his mouth. Maybe that would cool his body off and calm his desires. She fed him a spoonful.
Smiling innocently, she rested her head on his shoulder and ate the rest of her favorite vice –well, her baby's favorite vice…
She fed Liam the second last spoonful and had the last one.
"Thank you." He said.
She uncrossed her legs and sat up to put down the empty bucket under a napkin on the table. "You're welcome."
"No, not -" Liam shook his head. "Well, for that too, but –I meant for today."
Steffy turned to look at him and he anchored his gaze in hers before he continued, "Thank you for pushing me to go Edgemont. Thank you for being so supportive. Thank you for knowing me as well as you do... Thank you for taking care of me." He paused and only hesitated a second before adding, "I love you."
She wasn't sure if it was because of the heat of his stare or the emotion in his voice, but Steffy felt herself melting like snow in the sun. She hadn't expected his declaration at all, and although she knew Liam was grateful, hearing him tell her with so much passion and adoration was something else. "Thank you for letting me." She eventually replied.
He pulled her into his arms and leaned deeper into the couch, and she wrapped her arms around him, accepting his embrace. He pressed a loving kiss to her forehead and held her tight, letting her piece him back together without even knowing it. He understood why Steffy didn't reciprocate. He didn't her need to say the words back because he knew… She told him every day in a thousand different ways.
Steffy slowly disentangled from Liam and stood up. "Come on, let's go to bed." She tugged at his hand.
He got on his feet, still holding her hand. "What? You mean together?" he asked, disbelief evident in his expression.
She nodded and smiled thinly, her cheeks flushing from mild embarrassment. "Yes, that's what I had in mind." She answered, looking at the ground, fidgeting nervously on her toes, before something occurred to her, "Unless of course you'd rather sleep alone…" She didn't think he did, but you never know.
"Steffy, every night without you is a sleepless night."
"So do you want to…" she left her question suspended.
"Of course!" He lowered his face a little to search her eyes. "Do you?"
"I'm the one who suggested it, aren't I?"
"Not necessarily for the good reasons. Listen, Steffy, I always want to sleep with you, that's never gonna change. I hate being apart from you, but you did leave our bed for a reason…" Liam gave Steffy a pointed look. "And I don't want you to come back into it if you're not feeling ready just to appease me."
"That's not what I'm doing, I promise. I miss you, and I don't want to spend another night without being in your arms."
Seeing no deceit on her face and not perceiving any hesitation in her voice, Liam's eyes softened as he accepted her words as the truth, and was unable to repress the smile that split his face. "Let me lock everything and turn off the lights, and I'll meet you in our bedroom, ok?"
"Ok." She said and walked away into their bedroom.
Their bedroom! Liam suddenly felt so happy he had no idea how he stopped himself from squealing with joy.
/
Liam removed his suit of the day, tidily folded it and put it in the laundry basket. He had just changed into another pair of boxer shorts when the bathroom door opened.
His eyes slowly traveled from her skinny legs up her beautifully round stomach to her perfect chest until they met Steffy's blue ones.
"Wow, what a vision you are." Liam breathed, looking at Steffy rapt with wonder.
A coy smile spread across her face as she held his unrelenting gaze. She had put on quite the weight because of her pregnancy and she had definitely felt sexier than she did lately, but when Liam looked at her with that certain hunger in his eyes, she had never felt more desirable or desired.
He walked towards her and she met him halfway.
"Is this new?" he asked, referring to her sleepwear.
"It is."
She was wearing a black knee-length silk satin nightgown that revealed sufficient parts of her perfect figure to drive him crazy but not quite enough to satisfy his imagination.
"It's beautiful." He reached out to cup her face and stroked her cheek. "You are beautiful."
He brought his face closer to hers. His breath skirted across her cheek as he nuzzled her nose, causing Steffy to shiver. God, had she missed this proximity! She needed Liam like she needed air. This was the distressing truth.
For someone as fiercely independent as Steffy –who moreover had serious abandon issues –it was terrifying to need someone this much, but she couldn't help it. Liam was her oxygen. He was her heart and her soul. He was the best part of her. Her love for him was unlike anything she'd ever known, witnessed or even imagined. It was an unconditional, encompassing, all-consuming love –the kind that could burn you alive until there was nothing left of you but ashes.
Yes, what Steffy and Liam had was a dangerous love. Liam had the potential to destroy her, and Steffy was well aware of that, but she took her chances anyway, trusting that he would guard her heart with his life.
Steffy closed her eyes in anticipation for his next move. Aware of his effect, Liam kept rubbing his nose against hers, minimizing her personal space. She stopped breathing altogether while each of her nerve endings was being set on fire. Mercy! What Liam could do to her barely touching her!
He pressed a long, sensuous kiss at the corner of her mouth.
"I'll be right back." He whispered.
Huh?
Steffy opened her eyes, frowning, to watch him disappear into the bathroom with a wink flashed at her. Seriously?! Oh, it was so on!
/
"What are you doing?" Liam asked after he got out of the bathroom.
"Texting my Mom. I wanted her to wish her a good night and make sure she was ok. I haven't spoken to her all day."
"How is she?"
"Fine, it appears." Just then her phone buzzed, revealing a text from Thomas. She showed it to Liam. "I guess she's fine."
He arched an incredulous eyebrow at her. "You had to check with Thomas? You don't trust your mother?"
"Listen, Liam, it's better to be safe than sorry. It's not like she would tell me if she weren't ok..."
Liam merely shook his head. He arranged his pillow and slumped on the bed.
Steffy typed one last text, and then set her phone to vibrate mode before putting it on the nightstand. She lay on her side next to Liam and looked at him, looking at her. Her lips curved into a small, shy smile. "What?"
He reached out to replace a strand of hair behind her ear. "Nothing. I'm admiring you, that's all. You're beautiful."
Steffy rolled her eyes and shook her head, dismissing his kind words.
Chuckling softly, he advised, "You really need to learn to take a compliment, you know?"
"Whatever." She moved closer to Liam and rested her head on his bare chest while her hand lay on his firm, muscled pectorals.
He wrapped his arm around her and absent-mindedly ran the back of his fingers along her arm.
A few minutes of silence passed by, but she knew by his breathing that he wasn't asleep. She wondered if he was back to a despondent mood. God, she hoped not. Looking up at him, she slid her fingers into his hair. "Are you ok?"
He looked down at her. The worry in her eyes matched the concern in her voice. He stopped the caress on her arm and cupped the side of her face.
Steffy closed her eyes, leaning into his touch, and covered his hand with one of her own. She reopened her eyes and gazed tenderly at Liam.
"I'm fine… Thanks to you." He offered her a genuine smile. "Although I hope I will be able to get some sleep tonight."
She raised a suggestive eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I hope you're not going to kick me in your sleep again." He said in a falsely serious voice, trying hard not to smile, knowing pertinently what her first thought had been.
Her mouth opened in shock, and she narrowed her eyes at the offender. "I don't kick you in my sleep!" Steffy defended, outraged.
"Oh honey, yes, you do."
"No, I don't!"
Liam grinned, amused to see her get so worked up. "No, you don't. But you do wake me up at 3:00 in the morning, asking me for strawberries…"
"The baby! The baby wakes you at 3:00 in the morning, craving strawberries. I can't control its hunger. I'm merely a host in all of this." Steffy persisted in explaining. "This baby is getting all the nutrients, and I'm the one getting fat!" She seemed to actually believe what she was saying.
"Lmao."
"It's the truth!"
"No, of course, sweetheart, if you say so." Liam said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
Steffy lay down and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at Liam.
He laughed even more at her expenses.
"You're not helping your case." She warned petulantly although a tiny smile was growing on her face.
He turned to look at her and smiled at her adoringly. "I missed this."
"What? Pestering me?"
"Nooo," Liam smiled. "Well, yes, sort of." He admitted before adding, "Bantering with you."
Steffy smiled, her heart warming at the knowledge that he had missed her and their exchanges as much as she had.
She moved closed to him. "Is that all you missed?" She asked seductively.
"Get on your stomach." She whispered into the shell of his ear.
"What for?" Liam frowned.
She refrained from rolling her eyes. "Just do it. Don't you trust me?"
Liam complied, and Steffy straddled his butt. She placed both the palm of her hands flat on his back and moved them up toward his neck. She massaged his neck, working the knots there with gentleness. He was quite tense.
"Relax. Clear your mind." She planted a kiss on his lower neck, causing a tingling sensation down his spine. "Think about something pleasant."
She continued to work her magical fingers on his skin, sliding them to his shoulders, down his arms, and then back up again. She positioned her hand on his lower back muscle, her fingers pointing away from his spine, and pushed down slowly, pressing the heels of her hands into his skin. She moved her fingers upwards towards his spine, applying even pressure as she did so.
"Feels good?" Considering the moans of pleasure he was emitting, that was more of a rhetorical question, but he replied anyway.
"Mmmhh."
Steffy carried on her great massage for about ten minutes, before getting off his butt and lying next to Liam who whimpered in protest.
"All good things come to an end, mister."
"Thank you." He acknowledged sleepily. "I'd almost forgotten what a good masseuse you are."
Steffy smiled. "Be good and I'll remind you often."
He struggled to open his eyes and gazed tenderly at her. "You're so good to me."
She leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss onto his forehead. "Sleep. You're exhausted."
His eyelids getting heavier and heavier, Liam let his eyes close. Steffy observed him for a little while, a smile at the corner of her lips, before turning around to turn off the lamp on the nightstand.
He pulled her to him after she regained her spot beside him, and Steffy smiled, happy that he could still find her in his sleep. She snuggled happily into him. Her head on his chest and her hand on his stomach, she set to listen to his regular heart beats. It was the most peaceful sound to her; it appeased her. She had missed drifting off to sleep listening to it. She had missed everything about Liam. His warmth, his unique scent, the feeling of safety that encompassed her whenever she was in his arms…
Being back with Liam felt like finally returning home. As she drifted off to slumber, Steffy's last thought was that she never wanted to be apart from Liam again. Her heart would not take it.
/
Propped up on his elbow, Liam was gazing at Steffy. She looked so beautiful and serene in her sleep. He couldn't tear his gaze away from her. It had been far too long since he had gotten to admire her in the morning, her hair a beautiful mess, and her flawless face lit up by the rays of sunlight filtering through the curtains.
Yesterday, Steffy had made what was usually his worst day of the year a bit more bearable, and he'd had his first good night sleep in weeks. Who would have known that a man's sleep rhythm depended upon a woman? It did when it was the right woman.
As he lay awake, staring down at Steffy's sleeping figure, Liam couldn't help the happy grin that split his face. Incapable of stopping himself any longer, he tenderly touched her face with the back of his index finger and caressed her cheek, willing her to consciousness.
Steffy stirred a little but otherwise remained in slumber. He picked up the flower in the small space between them and grazed her arm with it. She stirred once more and turned her body away from whatever was disturbing her sleep. Feeling the light hit her face, she turned back around. Her eyes fluttered open as she awoke slowly and Liam came into focus. What a beautiful sight.
She returned Liam's dazzling smile. "Good morning."
"Good morning, my love." He leaned down to press a soft kiss on her forehead. He snuck a hand into her dark hair. "Sorry for waking you." He said, the shadow of a smile on his face.
She arched a dubious eyebrow at him. "Liar!"
Liam laughed. "Did you sleep well?"
"Like a baby. I hadn't slept so well in weeks."
"Me either."
"Here, this is for you." He handed her the flower.
She took it and brought it to her nose, smelling its scent.
"And this is for you and the baby." He presented her with a breakfast tray. She got into a sitting position so that he could set it on her lap. She placed her flower next to the left-most mug.
"Awww, thank you. You're so sweet." She appreciated, contemplating the lovely breakfast he had made for her. He had thought of all her favorites: butter croissants, waffles, strawberries and cherries, and some hot cocoa. "Thank you, sweetheart."
"You're welcome."
She adjusted the sheets, appropriately covering her chest, and grabbed a strawberry, dipping it into the bowl of whipped cream. "Mmmm, it's delicious." She used the spoon to spread some whipped cream over the waffle and added four strawberries on top of it.
This was pure heaven. Steffy had always been a food lover, but ever since she was pregnant, it was as if she'd developed new taste buds, making eating a holy experience!
Feeling Liam's intense gaze on her, she looked at him over her shoulder. She smiled at him and laughed nervously. "What's going on with you this morning?"
"What do you mean?" he returned her smile.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"What? I'm not allowed to look at you now?"
Steffy raised an eyebrow at Liam. Shaking her head, she picked up her mug and took a sip of her hot cocoa, looking at his blithe, smiling face over her mug.
Liam sat up and pushed back her hair behind her shoulder, exposing her lovely neck. "I'm looking at you, I'm admiring you. It's something I haven't had the privilege to do in a long time."
Steffy smiled fondly, moved by his words and his thoughtfulness. It felt pretty damn nice to feel loved and appreciated.
"I missed you." He kissed a spot on the curve of her neck before shoulder.
She turned her head and found herself nose to nose with him. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at his lips that were calling to her. It took every ounce of self-control for Steffy to tear her eyes away from that part of his face and look Liam in the eyes. "I missed you too."
"Really?" He arched a dubious brow at her. "Damn, you could have fooled me."
"Be quiet!" she pushed him playfully. She cleaned her hands on a napkin and turned back to him. "Really, I missed you." She shyly reiterated.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
She held his gaze, conveying all her sincerity through her deep blue eyes. She slowly brought her face closer to his, aching to touch him. Liam searched her eyes, looking for the least uncertainty. Finding none, he closed his eyes and moved even closer to her. Both their hearts skipped a beat at the instant before which their lips met.
It was the so-awaited kiss, that of the reconciliation. It was a kiss filled with sorrow but with love as well, and tasting of promises of the sweetness of the days to come.
It started off as slow, gentle, and innocent, as the reunion of two upsets souls meant for one another, finding one another anew, but quickly escalated into a fierce and passionate embrace, burning them and bringing them back to live.
The tip of Liam's tongue swept over Steffy's lip, demanding, definitively putting an end to the tenderness of their exchange. Steffy opened her mouth and granted him access, moaning as he slid his tongue inside her mouth. She firmly grabbed his hair as the kiss grew in intensity, pressing him to her. A thousand emotions got lost in their kiss: thankfulness, love, passion, remorse, despair…
Finally, Liam came up for air but kept his hands on Steffy. "Your breakfast is going to get cold."
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter." She responded, her breathing erratic, and pressed her lips onto his again.
Liam pulled away long enough to pick up the tray from her lap and put it on his nightstand.
Laying her down, he moved his lips against hers languorously, lovingly, worshipping her, savoring the honor of having her in his arms again.
Steffy fisted her hand into his hair as Liam infiltrated his hand underneath the sheets to touch her. He moved his hand down her body, brushing her breast, moving past her hips and settling on her knee.
His lips deserted hers to plant hot kisses down her throat.
"Liam"
His hand squeezed her skin then slid up her thigh, leaving a trail of fire in its wake, and Steffy's hips moved on their own volition to find Liam's, which elicited both a rumble deep in his chest and a soft moan from her as they felt the other's arousal.
Steffy couldn't believe how hard Liam already was and took great pride and joy in the fact that she put him in such a state.
He kissed her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, and her shoulder, his lips not leaving her smooth skin for a single instant. His hand was still exploring her lower body, caressing her everywhere but where his attention was the most required. His thumb skimmed over the soft skin at the edge of her panties, causing her to whimper, but he purposefully avoided her center, teasing her.
Steffy pressed her thighs together, effectively trapping his hand in between them, and rubbed them together, seeking some relief.
"Steffy, tell me this is not a dream." He implored against her lips.
"This is not a dream, my love." She reassured him, shaking her head, overwhelmed by the excess of sensations and emotions.
"Tell me that you're real."
"I'm real. I'm real, my love. I'm here."
Liam devoured her mouth, slipping his tongue in to ravage her lips, and Steffy returned his kiss with as much eagerness. They expressed their passion without restraint.
Deciding to relieve her –and him if he were honest –he finally slid his fingers underneath her panties and brushed her folds. Fuck, she was so wet.
"For me." He groaned.
"Always."
He stroked her intimate folds, playing her like she was his favorite instrument, knowing exactly what rhythm to impose to drive her wild, alternating between slow and fast strokes. Without warning, Liam introduced one finger inside her then another. A wanton moan escaped her mouth and Steffy threw her head back onto the bed, giving in to pleasure. He brought her to the brink, but didn't let her fall.
"Liam, please." She whimpered through her lips swollen by his kisses.
"Patience, baby."
"Please," she begged as she felt the coil tighten more and more within her.
Steffy arched her back under Liam's torturous ministrations. Her hips moved against his hand and he groaned above her. He accelerated his hand on her bundle of nerves.
"Shit, Liam!" she cried out.
"Look at me, Steffy."
She almost came alone from the authority in his voice. Opening her eyes, she met his smoldering ones, darkened by desire.
The next instant, she exploded around him, his name escaping her in an incoherent cry.
"God, you're so beautiful."
There was nothing Liam liked more than giving Steffy pleasure.
"I need you so much, Steffy." His ache translated through his voice.
"I need you too."
"I thought I'd lost you."
"Never."
They stifled their impassioned declarations in the mouth of one another.
He hooked his fingers into the straps of her nightgown, gently slid them off her shoulders and pulled down the fabric, revealing her breasts. He groaned at how hard her nipples already were and closed his mouth over a bud, sucking and lapping at the sensitive skin. Steffy's back arched of its own volition. He then applied the same ministrations to her other breast.
Steffy's toes curled as the coil within her tightened. Feeling her body getting to climax again, Liam decided she would come around him next.
He pushed his boxer down and gently nudged her legs apart. Liam positioned himself at her entrance and slowly penetrated her, careful not to hurt Steffy or the baby although he was excited beyond belief. They both gasped at the sensation.
He let his head fall onto hers. Finally. He was home.
He was still and so impossibly hard inside her. Steffy couldn't contain a moan as she hooked her legs around his waist and squeezed.
"Fuck me!" Liam groaned.
Steffy repressed a chuckle. "Honey, I'm trying to!" She said, urging him to start moving.
"Give me a minute." He whispered, his breathing uneven. He was already close and didn't want the experience to end before it even began. He struggled to collect himself.
It had been such a long time. He thought he remembered how glorious it felt to be encased deep within Steffy, but his memories really hadn't done the feeling justice.
His emotions were written all over his face, as was his utmost love for her. Steffy reached out to smooth his temple and caress his cheek with one hand and tangled the other into his hair. She raised her head to press a tender kiss against his lips, overwhelmed by how overwhelmed he was. Liam let out a murmur of approval.
"I love you." The words left her mouth of their own accord.
Liam's eyes snapped to Steffy's. He stared at her, stunned, completely caught off guard by her declaration. It had been weeks since she had spoken those three words so meaningful to him.
He felt his throat constrict and his mouth went dry. "I love you." He returned, his voice hoarse with emotion.
Short moments later, he started undulating his hips, moving in and out of her with measured strokes, withdrawing almost completely before thrusting back in harder and deeper. He set a slow, steady rhythm, intent on drawing out her pleasure for as long as he could, despite his body screaming for release. Steffy met him thrust for thrust, moaning deeply when he would hit that spot inside of her that she wasn't even aware of before him, but whose location Liam knew perfectly.
She dug her nails into the flesh of his skin, eliciting an animalistic grunt from him. "God, Steffy, you drive me wild…"
"Don't stop, Liam."
Liam could feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge, but didn't want to give in without Steffy. "I'm so close. I need you to come, Steffy." He snuck his hand in between their slick bodies and went to caress her. "Come for me, my love."
He pressed harder onto her clit. That did it. Steffy tightened around his shaft and shuddered beneath him, pushing Liam into his own orgasm.
He poured himself generously into her in jerky thrusts, chanting her name, until the very last drop had left his body for hers.
She cradled him tenderly in his arms as he collapsed against her, out of energy. Reluctantly, he withdrew from her and rolled over, pulling her in with him.
/
"Being without you was torture. It hurt a lot. I didn't feel like I was alive." Steffy confessed in a small voice. "I felt like I had a hole inside of me bigger than my body could handle."
Liam grimaced, her words a piercing knife through his heart. "I'm sorry, Steffy. I know how much I hurt you. You didn't deserve half of what I put you through. I'm so so sorry." He apologized profusely and genuinely.
"Hey, hey." She looked up to him and touched his face. "I didn't say that to make you feel guilty. I just wanted you to know that it wasn't easy for me, even though it was my decision."
"It wasn't easy for me either." Liam said, staring into her eyes, remembering how much his heart ached when he had to say good night to her and go to bed alone. "I love you so much, Steffy." His voice was husky with emotion. "I really thought I was going to lose you."
Holding him by his neck, Steffy leaned in and pressed her forehead to Liam's, relishing in the feeling of him close. "I love you too."
They remained silent, and after a moment, she added, "Maybe it was for the best."
"What do you mean?"
"Hopefully, we're stronger for the struggle."
"You think so?" Liam knew where he stood, but he wanted to be sure Steffy did as well. He knew by the way she had just made love to him that she loved and needed him as much as he loved and needed her. But was she aware of that? And would it be enough?
"I do." She nodded and ran her head through his soft hair. "I don't want us to ever be apart again."
"We won't. Ever." Vowed Liam, bringing his hand up to the side of her face and letting his fingertips run ever so softly over her beautiful features.
"You promise?" Steffy asked, a small, happy smile growing on her face.
"I swear to you, my love."
Smiling, she leaned into him and kissed him. She knew it was an unrealistic promise to make or to keep. There was no guarantee where love was concerned. For the person you love will always be at the mercy of leaving you.
But for the time being, Steffy would let herself take comfort in Liam's tender words.
Their kiss flared up, as did a certain part of Liam's anatomy. Feeling him against her thigh, Steffy smiled into the kiss and mentally shook her head. He was so easy. She broke away and put a hand on Liam's chest, keeping him away. "So what's our plan for the day?" she asked him ever so innocently. It was the weekend after all, and there wasn't anything she was set to do.
He arched an impish eyebrow and smiled cheekily at her. "My plan for today is to ravage you all day long, and then maybe wine and dine you later tonight." He answered, assailing her neck with kisses.
Steffy let out a hearty laugh and tilted her head to give him better access. "Oh so I'm your hostage for the day?"
"Damn straight you are!" Liam said and proved his point by pinning her down to the wall and hovering over her.
Steffy gasped as she felt his hard length against her stomach. "I can live with that."
Liam smirked and leaned down to cover her mouth with his own, craving her endlessly. She returned his kiss with as much eagerness, and soon, they were lost in the abysses of ecstasy.
/
Steffy was lying against Liam, her head on his chest, his hand drawing lackadaisical patterns on her back, as they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. They were home in each other's arms. Nothing made Steffy feel as safe and as protected as Liam's warmth. She truly didn't know what she would have done if she had had to live without it. She was so glad she didn't have to find out.
"I missed this." Liam's voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Yes, I could tell." She said, hiding a happy smile in his chest.
Liam knit his brows and nudged her in the shoulder, knowing she was teasing him. "That's not what I meant." He defended as she chuckled.
"Oh, so you didn't miss making sweet love to the woman of your life?"
He pretended to ponder that. "Well, yes, that too."
Steffy smiled against his skin.
"But I missed this: getting to hold you in my arms…" he pressed her harder to himself. "…smelling your hair…" he buried his nose into her hair. "…inhaling your perfume, getting high on you!" He cupped her face and leant down to press a kiss at the same time tender and passionate on her lips.
Liam loved Steffy so much. The thought of ever losing her drove him insane and painfully constricted his heart in his chest. He knew without a doubt that he wouldn't be able to survive should that ever happen. He didn't know if it was because he had recently come so close to losing her forever, but Liam felt overwhelmed by his love for Steffy in that moment. He genuinely didn't think he could love her any more than he did.
He was hers.
Finally. He was entirely hers. Truly, wholly, utterly… forever.
Steffy moaned at the passion he expressed, feeling his need for her and reciprocating all of it. She fisted her hand into his hair and deepened the kiss.
Out of breath, she eventually pulled away, cheeks flushed, and slowly opened her eyes, drowning them into Liam's. She could have cried at the emotion she read in his dark orbits. "I missed it too." She placed a hand on his cheek and gazed at the love of her life lovingly.
Liam slowly skimmed his hands up the length of Steffy's calves. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." She responded as she enjoyed the caress of his fingers on the soft skin at the back of her thighs.
"What if I had finally chosen to be with Hope? What if I hadn't come back to you?"
"That was not an option." Steffy answered, straight-faced.
"Steffy…"
She chuckled. "No, but more seriously, Liam, what do you want me to tell you?" What the heck kind of question was he asking her? "I would have found a way to get over it." She shrugged and gave him a pointed look. "What choice would I have had?"
He merely stared at her.
She sat up and narrowed her eyes at him, examining his face. "That's not the answer you were hoping for." She stated more than she asked.
"No, it's just…" He searched for the words. He felt like Steffy was more and more detached from him, almost as though she loved him less somehow.
"Liam, I love you just as much as I always have." Steffy said, reading his thoughts. "Perhaps even more. In my dreams, I couldn't love you more." She assured him, looking him squarely in the eye to convey her sincerity. She didn't know how he could possibly question that. All she ever did was love him. Liam was the only person she knew how to love. Her whole world revolved around him, so much so that it literally chilled Steffy to her bones sometimes.
It was simply crazy to love someone this much, to have one's happiness be so dependent on another person, to draw all one's strength and courage from them… but that was exactly how Steffy felt about Liam, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. She had always valued her independence; she had always prided herself on not needing anyone, but Liam had walked into her life and changed all that. And she loved it and hated it with equal measure, although she was starting to hate it a little more.
The only thing she could ever imagine transcending her feelings for Liam was the love she felt for the growing child inside of her.
"You believe me, don't you?"
Liam looked back at her. "I do." He answered. "It's just the way you pulled away from me these past weeks, Steffy…" he trailed off. "As awful as this may sound, I didn't think you were capable of distancing yourself from me like that."
A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips at his expression. "Don't look so contrite. You want me to tell you something?"
He nodded.
"Neither did I." admitted Steffy, shaking her head, and exhaled a sigh. "I had reached my breaking point, Liam. I couldn't take any more. When loving someone brings you more pain than happiness, something is wrong. And as much as it hurts, at some point, you have to take a step back to gain some perspective." Besides, this baby and her love for it gave Steffy a new strength and bravery that she never suspected she was capable of. Her child was her priority now. Its well-being and happiness came before everything, including Liam's.
Steffy knew all too well the pain and confusion that came with having a father with divided loyalties, and that was a situation she would never subject her child to. She wanted her and Liam to be the best parents to this child, and that wasn't possible if they were together but one of their hearts was still invested in someone else.
"But that doesn't mean I don't love you." She added. "On the contrary, it means I love you enough to put your happiness above my own."
"You always have."
She smiled. "And I always will."
"I don't deserve you." Liam said, shaking his head.
"I agree." Steffy asserted, a small teasing smile at the corner of her lips, and looked at him, and he saw the humor in her eyes. "But the heart has its reasons that reason can't know…"
"I love you." Liam said simply as though it was the most natural thing, for it was. As a matter of fact, those three words seemed to pale in insignificance compared to what it was that he felt for Steffy. "I love you… so much, Steffy Forrester." He reiterated and placed a hand on her growing belly. "You and this baby are my whole life, and I promise you from this moment on never to let a day go by without reminding you how much you mean to me."
He leaned in and pressed a devoted kiss to her lips.
Steffy slowly opened her eyes and met Liam's. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "We love you too." She said back with raw emotion in her voice. "Forever."
"And ever."