Erwin looked up as Levi was coughing on the bed. He had gotten up about an hour ago, finally having slept through the night.

Levi had been right, he had needed the sleep. He felt a lot better now and was glad to have slept. His worries about Levi not waking up had wavered as well when he had woken up this morning, Levi breathing beside him and he had felt even more relief when he had felt his body and forehead were nowhere as hot as before.

Looking at the pots with water in the fire and at the clothes beside the fire, he finally dared to feel a little hopeful, at least for Levi. Even with everything going out outside. The noise of the titans marching hadn't seized, nor had their walking. That had been all too clear when he had gotten the water from the well.

'Hey,' Erwin smiled at Levi, saw he was waking up again.

'Sleep well?' Levi immediately asked Erwin, clearly still not sure how much Erwin had slept.

'Slept great, through the night too,' Erwin assured him as he sat down on the bed. Levi smiled at him, grimacing as it pulled the wounds on his lip. He didn't care though, he was just glad that Erwin finally seemed a little better.

'Got the bath ready for you,' Erwin smiled then, pointing at the small tub near the fire.

'Yeah, will be nice to feel clean again,' Levi smiled, so happy Erwin had finally slept and looking forward the bath how. Although he still felt crap, he knew that after the bath he would feel so much better.

Levi wasn't wearing anything but his underwear and socks and he looked a little bemused as Erwin undressed him.

'You've torn those clothes of me with a different energy before,'

'Well, I don't think you are up for anything,'

'I wish I was,' Levi said softly with a smirk. Erwin kissed him on his forehead, feeling his temperature, relieved when his forehead was nowhere as hot anymore.

Carefully Erwin lifted him off the bed, still so scared to hurt him. Levi laid his arms around his neck, as much as he hated the feeling of Erwin having to do this for him and being helpless, he was grateful as well that in his most vulnerable moment, the person he trusted most was by his side.

His body hurt as Erwin carried him, but with his head against his chest he didn't even mind. Careful Erwin put him down in the small wooden tub, careful with his wounded and sore body, but Levi groaned with delight as soon as his body was in the warm water and Erwin came over to pour some more water in.

For the first time in these last few hours – days – he wasn't even sure at this point – his battered and bruised body stopped hurting.

'I washed your clothes as well – as good as I could. Couldn't save most of your clothes though,' Erwin told him as he carefully scooped some of the water on Levi's back.

'That's fine,' Levi just said, not caring about his clothes – or anything. As long as Erwin would be safe too.

'Your fever is going down, are you feeling a little better?' Erwin asked carefully. Using his large hand to lift up some of the water and slide it down Levi's body, he gently washed his body. The body was so familiar to him, but with all the scrapes, bruises and wounds he was still so careful.

'Yeah,' Levi just sighed, so grateful with all that Erwin was doing for him. He tried not to let it bother him, knew that he had cared for Erwin as well after Shiganshina. But having always taken care of himself, he was not relying on anybody else, even if it was Erwin looking after him.

'Lay back so I can wash your hair?' Erwin asked, his hair sweaty and greasy after the fever had been raging through his body.

Erwin's rough, large fingers made its way through his hair. He had always loved Levi's hair, the thick mop of black hair. It was so soft, always styled as Levi was so careful about it. He wasn't even sure how his looked after not being able to style his hair for days. It didn't matter though with everything going on.

'Feel good?'

'Amazing,' Levi said as he finally felt a little more human after these last few days. The haze in his mind seemed to have faded and he finally felt clean now that he was in the tub, Erwin so gently with him. He felt so lucky, happy that Erwin was here with him.

'Probably shouldn't get my hand wet,' Levi nodded.

'I am really sorr-' Erwin wanted to say but Levi interrupted him.

'I will live, you managed and I am missing a lot less,' Levi stated dryly, 'I grip the sword backwards anyway,'

'Can't flip me off anymore,' Erwin teased him, not wanting to get into if Levi was able to fight again. He didn't care if Levi would ever be his captain again. Levi would still be the most important person in his life.

Immediately the middle finger from Levi's other hand was in his face. Erwin couldn't help but smile, feeling that now that the feeling was going down, Levi was coming a lot more into himself again.

'At least I killed Zeke – or Zeke killed himself,' Levi sighed as Erwin caressed more warm water over his neck.

Erwin suddenly stopped.

'Erwin – don't tell me he survived, please-' Levi almost seemed to plead, realizing what Erwin stopping probably meant.

'I – I don't know. I was holding your body and while they distracted I finally managed to get out – but I think Zeke's body regenerated,' Erwin admitted. As much as it hurt him to tell Levi this, he didn't want to lie to him either.

'I – I don't know for sure, I didn't see all of it-' Erwin stumbled over his words. He felt Levi's body shiver now, although he seldom got angry, Erwin realized how angry this news made him.

'Levi, I am so sorry-' Erwin wanted to say again.

'Don't - it's not your fault – just - shit!' Levi lost his composure for a second and Erwin knew that all positivity the bath had brought him had now disappeared again.

The rowdiness in the Tavern had died down slightly as they were on their second bottle of wine. They had finished most of the plates of food, Erwin laying back in his seat as he felt so full.

As they weren't as hidden in the crowd anymore, they didn't dare to show any affection, but as there was nobody near them, they finally dared to have some conversations most people didn't dare to have.

'Have you ever flirted with another member of the corps?' Levi asked him, looking at the wine he swirled around in his glass.

'No,' Erwin finally answered, 'I figured I would stay alone forever, not wanting to leave anybody behind when I would eventually be killed – I liked a woman once and she married Nile eventually,'

Levi nodded, he knew about his history with Marie.

'Guess I nearly left you behind though, felt different because – you know – both of us are in the corps,' Erwin admitted, pouring himself another glass of wine, having just topped of Levi a few minutes ago.

'So – am I also the first man you flirted with?'

'Think you were flirting with me,' Erwin chuckled as he sat back with the glass in his hand.

'You literally went out of your way to get me alone during the expedition and flirt with me,' Levi countered him with a smile, thinking back of that time Erwin had made him ride out during the expedition with him to survey the area as they were setting up camp.

'That I did,' Erwin admitted with a smile.

'Didn't answer my question though,' Levi pointed out.

'Yeah, haven't really flirted much in life anyway, but yeah, you were the first one. Guess that after years of titans and losing people and nearly dying on multiple occasions – the fact that I started to like a man was no longer that shocking,' Erwin admitted, Levi nodded.

Sitting in the dim light of the candles, he couldn't stop looking at Levi. Seeing the light flicker in his eyes, the way he put down the wineglass on the table to elegantly and how he smiled jus the tiniest bit looking at Erwin, every now and then.

The night flew by as the owner of the tavern made his way towards the table.

'Commander, we are closing soon, I am going to need to ask you to leave,' The man owning the tavern said friendly and Erwin nodded and got up, taking his jacket.

Levi wanted to object when Erwin bought another bottle for on the road, putting it in the deep pockets of jacket as they made their way outside.

The night was crisp, Levi walking close to Erwin as they walked back to HQ.

All the lights were out in HQ and nobody was out on the hallway anymore as Levi walked with Erwin to his room. His own was further down the hall, but after this nice evening he didn't want to go to his own room. He didn't want to lay there alone in a bed he couldn't sleep in anyway.

For the first time since Shiganshina, things had felt this lovely between them again.

'Stay with me tonight?' Erwin said ass if he could read Levi's mind, stretching out his hand as they stood at his door.

Expecting Lewi to answer, he instead laid his arms around Erwin's neck, jumping up as he wrapped his legs around Erwin's waist. Just in time before he would topple over, he grabbed his arm around Levi.

'Yeah,' Levi finally said softly as he pulled his lips from Erwin's.

Unlocking the door, Levi still hanging on his body, Erwin not struggling to carry him, even after recovering from his injuries for so long.

Stumbling inside, they kissed again.

Erwin stopped over second to lock the door behind them, stumbling back with Levi still hanging onto him. Putting the keys on his desk, he didn't take his lips of Levi's as Erwin sat him down on the desk. Levi's hands moved down his sides as they made out.

Erwin still had his arm around him, lifting him up again and carrying him to the bedroom.

Throwing Levi onto the bed, he took his coat off, nearly stumbling over it as he moved towards the bed, the wine still hitting him. Climbing over the back of the bed, he fell down beside Levi.

'Erwin, the bottle of wine!' Levi said worried as he had thrown to the coat to the ground. Chuckling, Erwin leaned from the bed to take the bottle – luckily not broken – out of his jacket pocket.

'You gotta open that,' Erwin chuckled as he handed over the bottle to Levi.

'Not gonna do that over your bed, what if it spills,' Levi said as he got up from the bed, grabbing the small opener from the shelf. It was not the first time they shared a bottle of wine in bed, but never had they made it to a third bottle in bed.

'What are they going to do? I am the commander!' Erwin drunkenly chuckled from the bed. Easily opening up the bottle, Levi handed it over to Erwin, Erwin taking another swig as Levi got back in the bed too. Handing the bottle over to Levi.

He took a swig as well, putting it away on the nightstand as he pushed Erwin down, kissing him.

Within minutes, the floor beside the bed was covered with their clothing, only the size of the clothing giving a sign which had belonged to who.

Pushing Erwin down again, Levi climbing on top of him, Erwin his hand on his lower back as Levi leaned forward, their lips touching before he moved down, kissing his neck, collarbones.

Levi's lips traced the line between his pecks, moving down to the scar on the left side of his stomach.

Erwin made him feel that even after everything he had been through with his mom, love was a real thing.

Erwin was one of the few people that he actually trusted.

Erwin was one of the even fewer people he enjoyed being around.

Erwin made him feel safe.

Erwin was his everything.

Kissing him again, he was suddenly rolled over, Erwin now leaning over him. The large, strong body pinning him down, their lips pressing together just before he was lifted onto his knees by Erwin. Levi didn't object, glad to finally be intimate again all these months after Shiganshina.

Erwin's hand against the headboard as he thrusted against Levi a minute later, he didn't notice the bed banging against the nightstand, the bottle of wine toppling over into the bed.

'Shit!' Levi hissed, grabbing the bottle before anymore wine could spill onto the bed.

'Well, what are they going to do about it, I am the commander,' Erwin chuckled, panted and repeated from earlier as Levi looked concerned. Finally Levi laughed as well, taking a swig as he laid back beside Erwin again.

'I don't care, just you and me tonight, okay?' Erwin said as he caressed the side of his face, Levi smiling at him and Erwin kissed him again, their bodies and limbs intertwining.

'Guess you could always become my housewife when you are done being a commander,' Levi joked, grateful how Erwin had taken care of him now. It wasn't easy to accept his help, but it was easier coming from Erwin. He sat on one of the chairs, his arm over the back as he struggled to keep sitting up. Erwin took his underwear he had washed from the stones near the fire.

'Be your housewife any day,' Erwin humoured him.

Taking one of the towels he had found, he carefully started to dry Levi's hair. Careful as he wasn't sure how long Levi was able to sit up, he dried off his body, so careful not to hurt him.

'You still okay sitting up?' Erwin asked worried.

'It's just sitting up, I should be fine,' Levi answered him.

'Just-'

'I do feel pathetic, weak,' Levi finally admitted. Looking down at his hand, his stomach sunk as he thought of what Erwin had told him. All of it – everything hadn't mattered. His own sacrifice was almost nothing compared to all the lives that had been laid down four years ago to kill Zeke. All the lives he had ended of his crew right before trying to kill Zeke again. Nothing had mattered of it in the end.

'You lost a lot of blood and you haven't eaten properly in days. It's okay to feel weak, but you will never be weak – nor pathethic,' Erwin assured him, gently going over his hair another time.

'Hmm,' Levi just said softly.

'Lift up your arm for me?' Erwin asked, Levi struggling to do so as he tried to oblige.

'Come, lay your arm in my neck if that is easier,' Erwin told him. Levi finally managed so, Erwin finishing drying his body and with some cooperation from Levi himself, he slipped the underwear on.

'Come on, let's get back to bed, I am happy to take a nap too,' Erwin smiled.

Levi wanted to argue that he could walk, but before he could say anything, Erwin carefully lifted him up, his body in his arm, his hand under his knees as Levi laid against his chest.

His hair was soft, fluffy now and Erwin pressed his nose in his hair again. Gently putting him down on the bed again, he took his own undershirt that he had washed and had dried by the fire.

Helping him get dressed into the shirt, Levi was surprised as Erwin lifted him up again, sitting down on the bed himself, laying Levi down against him, Levi's head against his chest now.

'Thank you,' Levi mumbled, hardly audible. Erwin pulled the blanket over them. He heard Levi's breathing becoming heavier, the bath and sitting up clearly having tired him out much more than Erwin had even expected him too.

Caressing over Levi's head, he was surprised as he felt a wet spot forming on his dress shirt, that was now right on his skin after taking off his undershirt for Levi.

'Hey, what is wrong?' Erwin asked concerned, realizing that Levi was crying as he heard his irregular breathing, tears spilling from his eye.

'I – I just – I failed killing Zeke again, the one thing I promised you,' Levi said softly. Erwin slumped down a little more, his head closer to Levi's now.

'All I need is for you to be okay, no other thing matters to me,' Erwin told him, carefully moving his arm so he could sit up just slightly, Levi's head now in the crook of his elbow. Levi tried to turn away, not wanting Erwin to see his tears, although it was too late for that.

'You gave up all those lives and nearly laid down your own and I failed again,' Levi said finally admitted and Erwin heard his voice break.

It was the first time he really saw Levi break like this. Sometimes, although very seldom, small cracks had appeared in his stern, strong appearance. But today one of those cracks seemed to crack open even larger than he had ever seen before.

'Levi, you tried your best,' Erwin tried to comfort him.

'It's not good enough Erwin, not with all these people giving their life. With you nearly giving your life,' Levi said, feeling so upset, his voice chocking and the tears taking over – making it hard to talk.

'Levi-' Erwin said stern, wanting to tell him it was okay, but Levi interrupted him immediately again.

'I am so sorry I didn't give you the serum in Shiganshina – I am so sorry Erwin,' Levi was sobbing now, his eye hurting worse and worse as the muscles around it were pulling on the eye. That one regret that had plagued his mind for four years, was suddenly spilling out now that he felt so vulnerable, his mind full of doubts and regrets.

Erwin just pulled him against him, caressing over his head.

'It's okay, it's okay,' he just said softly, 'I am still here and so are you – that is all that matters,'

Moving his hand down, he laid his hand on Levi's back, caressing it as he let him spill it all out.

'You let me go – like I asked you too and that was okay, I don't blame you, not at all,' Erwin told him.

'You still didn't let go of me and I-'

'Levi, please. I know you are upset about Zeke, but please let it go,' Erwin said gently, still holding him close against him, hoping that he would tire enough soon to fall back asleep.

Sunbeams were beaming through the window as Erwin opened his eyes. Groaning as the wine from last night had turned pleasure into a headache, he rubbed through his eyes before finally rolling over, bumping into Levi who was sitting up against the headboard, reading a book.

'Morning sunshine,' he said dryly, Erwin groaning but finally chuckling.

'Morning to you too,' Erwin said as he finally opened one eye – the sun making the pounding in his head infinitely worse.

'How do you not have a hangover?' Erwin enquired then, Levi looking surprisingly fresh after their night of drinking.

'Have you ever tried the spirits they serve in the Underground? I mean, that wine is not going to give me a headache,' Levi smirked as he put the book away.

Erwin finally climbed up, kissing him on his cheek before climbing over him and stumbling towards the bathroom that was attached to his bedroom. He could feel all 35 years he had lived in his body this morning thanks to the hangover, taking a piss and brushing his teeth before he made his way back to the bed.

Walking back in, he only noticed now that Levi was wearing his t-shirt he had worn under his dress shirt, the t-shirt massive on him. The sleeves almost made it to his elbow and it made him chuckle when he saw how long it was on him.

'You can use that as a tent the next time we go on an expedition,' Erwin joked.

'Yours is more comfortable, plus – it smells like you,' Levi admitted.

'Keep it then,' Erwin humoured him. Falling down beside Levi with a load groan, he laid his head in Levi's lap.

'Like that won't raise suspicion,' Levi told him as he put the book aside. Caressing through Erwin's hair, he loved how disheveled his blonde hair looked without the hair gel.

'Will get you some tea – maybe some breakfast too?' Levi asked as he caressed through his hair.

'Hmm,' Erwin just hummed, not wanting Levi to move.

Looking up at Levi, he saw something was bothering the man.

'Something wrong? Something I did last night? Sorry if I came on too strong again,' Erwin said softly.

'I am scared – but not about what is going to happen to me. I am scared what is going to happen to us,' Levi admitted with a deep sigh.

'What do you mean?' Erwin asked concerned as he look up at Levi, the man usually not talking about these things.

'With Marley and everything,' Levi just said, feeling stupid for even bringing it up, 'last night felt like old times for the first time in a long time.'

Erwin turned on his side, his head on Levi's thighs now so he could see his face a little better.

'Why does that worry you?' Erwin asked concerned, taking Levi's hand in his as he looked up, surprised to see the man suddenly so concerned.

'Just, the whole world changed and I know how much that matters to you, it is important to me too but I do worry what is going to happen to us,' Levi admitted. He already regretted having said this as, as much he had brought it up, he didn't want to talk about it now.

'Levi – no matter what happens with Marley – it doesn't change things between us,' Erwin told him, pulling his hand closer and kissing his hand.

'Alright, I guess I need to see my squad,' Levi said as he slipped from the bed, not wanting to talk about it anymore, feeling so insecure so suddenly. He didn't talk about feelings and he felt stupid for doing so. Slipping out Erwin's shirt, he grabbed his own and started buttoning his dress shirt over it.

'Levi – you don't need to leave – we got some time, could say we had a meeting,' Erwin said a little concerned form the bed, not sure what was going on with Levi.

'What are they going to do, I am the commander!' Levi imitated him from last night, teasing him.

Erwin laughed, finally getting up as well.

'Levi?'

Levi finally looked up, almost done getting dressed.

'I love you – I really do. No other island – enemy or the titans can change that,' Erwin told him, gently putting his hand under Levi's chin, lifting up his head to kiss him.

It was the first time Erwin had say those three words to him. His chest tightened, the three words still ringing in his ears.

It felt stupid, Erwin had said exactly what he wanted him to say. Only Erwin and his mom had ever said this to him. He tried to get those same three words of his lips, feeling the exact same about Erwin.

But as much as he tried, he didn't get the words over his lips.

'Levi?' Erwin asked concerned.

Finally three words did leave his lips.

'See you later,' Levi finally said, turning around and quickly leaving the room, his stomach sinking as he left Erwin behind in the bedroom.

'Levi?'

A strange voice, not Erwin's.

Immediately the haze in his mind seemed to disappear, taking a second to think. Feeling the pressure on the left side of his body, he knew that the person was close enough to him that there was no way to get away, especially in the state he was in.

Opening his eye, Hange was hanging only at most two inches away from his face. The faint light of the candle near the bed flickering in their glasses.

'Shit Hange, you scared me!' Levi said as finally realized it wasn't a bad thing, grateful to see a familiar face.

'Could say the same about you,' Hange argued as they sat up again, looking over Levi. Relief washed over them as the captain woke up again. As much as Erwin had insisted that Levi was getting better, he was not looking good. They weren't looking toward to removing the bandages of his face, Erwin having warned them how gnarly it was. But they hoped they could at least help with the stitches Erwin wasn't so sure about.

'How did you manage to blow yourself up?' Hange enquired as they handed Levi some water.

'Beast piece of shit,' Levi gave as his only explanation, 'Where is Erwin?'

'Asleep again, he was exhausted,' Hange pointed at the other bed and Levi registered his snoring now.

'Wait you, have been here for some time?'

'I left when the Yeagerists took over and the walls fell to find you two. Saw smoke rising from this farm as I was scouting the area and when I walked in I found you too. Erwin must be a nice big spoon – arrived here a few hours ago,'

Levi groaned embarrassed, Hange looking at him with a bemused face.

'I have known for some time, you two are really bad at hiding it,' Hange shrugged as they took the suturing needle and grabbed some of the other stuff they needed from her first aid kit.

'How long have you known?' Levi asked, not looking forward to having Hange redoing the stitches in his face.

'I saw you kiss him at his bedside after Shiganshina and I had way too much fun seeing you two keep it a secret for four years,' Hange chuckled.

'Hange!' Levi groaned.

'Pain?' Hange asked worried as they had started to remove the bandages.

'At this point only mental – you have known for four years?' Levi groaned.

'Yeah – but why is that my business? You are accepting of me so I feel the same and I think it is cute – I didn't want that to change things between you by telling you or telling anybody else,' Hange just shrugged and picked up a bottle from the floor. Levi just smiled for a second, happy with how Hange had answered that question, glad things didn't get awkward.

'I snatched some stuff before I left HQ and fled when the Yeagerists came, guess this might help with the pain,' Hange said as they handed the booze to Levi.

'Don't think Erwin will berate you for taking the booze now,' Levi said as he took a swig, the alcohol stinging his torn lips. Hange saw him wince as he drunk it, laying their hand on his upper arm for a second.

'Probably should take a few more swigs – this isn't going to be pleasant,' Hange warned him.

'I know - just do it,' Levi said, trying not to move too much as Hange rolled the bandages away.

Cutting some of the sloppily made stitches, Hange carefully disinfected the wound. Even with the booze in his system, he still winced as the cotton balls touched his face.

Suddenly he felt a hand wrap around his, Erwin sitting beside him on the floor, looking a little disheveled having just woken up.

Squeezing Erwin's hand, he looked aside at him again, Hange stood up to sterilize the needle by the fire.

'I love you,' Levi said so softly Hange didn't hear it, Erwin smiling a bit surprised. It was not something that he said often, or easily. So it meant even more to him, especially as Levi had been in such and off mood before.

I love you too, Erwin mouthed at Levi. Erwin moved forward then and kissed Levi on his forehead, squeezing Levi's hand again, not going anywhere.

Thank you so much for coming back for this chapter! I hope you did enjoy this chapter and enjoy the direction this story is taking now its syncing up a little more with the show. Updates continue on Wednesday and I hope if you have the time, you will leave a comment letting me know what you thought of this chapter! Thank you so much again and see you next week!