DojoYoyo: Glad I got such a strong reaction from you. XD Yeah, Chancellor Palpatine (orshouldIsayEvilSithdude) is really annoying.
I abso-kriffin-lutely hate school right now. This is late, it's not as long as the others and I'm tired. I want to throw my laptop across the room. Please enjoy while I get caffeine into my system so I'm not dead on my feet!
"Commander, Commander! Ahsoka stop!" Rex was racing after Ahsoka, the Togruta barely visible ahead of him. She'd run away from the Temple and out into the city of Coruscant, the busy streets proving difficult to navigate for Rex. "Ahsoka you can't leave us alone again!" That did it, ahead of him Ahsoka stumbled and almost fell to the ground as she stopped her frantic dash. Rex pulled up behind her, gasping as he placed his hands on his knees. "Don't leave…please." He panted, taking in huge lungfuls of air to get the words out.
"I—Rex, you don't understand." Ahsoka said, not even breathing heavily. She was still facing away from him as Rex caught his breath, the bustle of Coruscant filled the silence. When Rex was standing up, his breathing returned to normal, Ahsoka continued. "I have to leave, I can't stay."
"No one's asking you to be a Jedi Ahsoka," Rex tried to keep his voice even, clenching his fists as he stared at the back of her head. "Just come back, the boys miss you and the General's probably worried sick."
"That's why I can't go back!" Ahsoka blurted out, turning around so quickly Rex almost jumped. "Don't you get it?" He saw tear tracks on her face and his anger faded completely. "I hurt him, I hurt him so much when I left the Order." Ahsoka's voice was trembling and she looked as though she was going to burst into tears again. "Anakin can't—he doesn't deserve to be hurt by me again." She looked down and her voice softened to a whisper. "I know I'm going to leave, whether it's now or years later. I can't stay in the Temple and the army will disband when the war's done. If I stay, it'll hurt even more when I leave because he'll think he had a chance to fix everything. But it can't be fixed!" She was shaking now, and Rex put a hand on her shoulder.
"Did you ever think that the General wants to talk to you? That he has something he'd like to tell you before you go running off again?" Ahsoka was taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. "Look, I can't read the General's mind. But if you need to leave, at least tell him why. He doesn't deserve to be left wondering why you didn't even say goodbye." Ahsoka just nodded mutely, somewhat calmer than before. "Fives is going to be allowed visitors tomorrow, it would help if you were there." At the mention of Fives Ahsoka looked up, as though remembering why she had come.
"Okay," Ahsoka whispered, one of her hands fingering with the bandages on her right shoulder. Rex cast a worried look in her direction and she tried to smile, but just it looked like she was going to cry again. "I'll...be staying in a hotel, near the Jedi Temple of course." She shoved her good hand into her pockets and fished around before shoving a crumpled piece of paper into Rex's limp hands. "That's the address, so you know where to find me." She sighed and Rex noticed she was still shaking. "I—I don't think I'm ready to face everyone just yet." Rex's eyes moved up and nodded his head slowly.
"I understand, don't worry." Rex said empathetically, nodding his head. "What should I tell the General?"
Ahsoka paused, when she finally spoke her words were slow. "Tell him...that I'm safe. I'm okay and I'll be checking on Fives tomorrow." Ahsoka broke off and swallowed nervously. "And tell him...tell him I'm sorry."
Rex nodded, turning to go back to the Temple. As he began to walk away, he called over his shoulder. "I'll tell the General that you're safe and where you're going to be tomorrow. But as for that last bit, you'll have to tell him that yourself."
Anakin jolted up from the couch when he heard the automatic doors open with a soft whoosh. He scrambled to his feet and made his way over to the desk so it would appear as though he'd just arrived. "Ani?" He nearly wilted when Padmés voice sounded instead of a strangers. Dropping the act, he turned around to face her with a smile. She'd gotten dressed up for today, no surprise there. Her hair was done in two braids which twisted at the top of her head to form a crown. The dress was a simple dark purple sheath with a gold trim. The simplicity of her outfit just made her all the more beautiful.
His smile widened as he walked up and enveloped his wife in a hug. She giggled against his neck and pulled away after a small peck on the cheek. He could feel the weight on his chest lifting, things always seemed better when Padmé was near. "How was the meeting?" He asked, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
"Oh, same as always." She groaned, tugging Anakin onto the couch with her. He plopped down across from her and gave a dorky grin that made her laugh. "Money is needed to keep the war effort going and someone has to go to the Banking Clan but transactions need to be a private affair and blah blah blah." She waved her hand in the air dismissively while Anakin's smile softened. "What?" She smiled, running her hand across Anakin's sleeve.
"You're just so cute when you're angry." He teased, ducking when she swatted at his head.
"How dare you?" She tried to stay mad but her eyes shone with laughter. "I happen to be very intimidating in the Republic Senate." He allowed a small chuckle to escape his lips, shaking his head. Anakin stilled and placed his hand on her, just holding it there. "What is it?" He looked up and tried to feign innocence as he removed his hand.
"What is what?" He tried to keep his tone light, but apparently it didn't convince Padmé.
"Come on Ani, as your wife I like to think I know you better than most. I can tell when you're stressed, what is it?" He bowed his head, he didn't want to break down. Not in front of her. But he also knew her well-enough to know that she wouldn't back down until she knew what had happened.
"It's...a lot of things." He said, futilely trying to dissuade her from continuing.
"Well, I've got all the time in the world right now." He cracked a grin but heaved a long sigh, still staring at the floor.
"I went after Fives and he...started saying strange things. Things about the Chancellor and a plot against the Jedi." Padmé made a small noise of shock and Anakin heard the rustle of her dress as she scooted closer, he kept his eyes fixed on his boots. "I didn't know what to think, everyone was telling me he was mad and he was. Acting mad, I mean. I tried to talk to him, get him to come with us, but he just kept screaming that we didn't believe him." He paused, his throat tightening with tears.
"And then?" Padmé whispered from his side, "What happened then?"
"She was there," he rasped, his voice cracking as it forced its way out of his narrowed airway. "Ahsoka was there." Padmé gasped and Anakin held back a wince. "I—she protected Fives. She stood up to the Jedi Council for him."
"That must have been hard for her." Padmés voice sounded right by his ear as she curled her body against his. As he felt the rhythm of her heart and the love surrounding her, his grief increased tenfold.
"It was," he gasped, and he felt Padmé circle her arms around his back. "She was so strong and—and then she left."
"What do you mean?"
"I—I gave her the lightsabers back, her old ones. She ran, she said she couldn't come back." His head hung even lower and his shoulders began to shake. "But that's not even—the worst part was—"
"What happened?" Padmé asked, her voice quivering with barely suppressed worry. Anakin tipped his head up to her, his eyes brimming with tears. Padmé blinked in surprise before holding him tighter, her hands encircling his torso comfortably
"I can't sense her." Anakin whispered, his voice impossibly quiet. "I can't sense Ahsoka. She—she closed off our bond. I tried to reach her through it, to make sure she was okay after she ran off. But she shut me out, she shut me out!" Anakin broke with a small cry, collapsing into his wife and letting out shuddering sobs as she stroked his head. He spilled everything he knew, about the Chancellor and the Council. About his guilt and confusion and everything getting turned upside down. Padmé held him throughout the whole ordeal, murmuring soft words of comfort or advice. For all his sobbing and heaving, very few tears escaped Anakin's eyes. As though he'd been wrung dry. Padmé didn't let him go until he'd calmed down and he was grateful for it. He didn't know how he would have even moved without her support. Anakin knew in that moment, he would do anything for Padmé. Anything.
The next day…
In the Jedi Council room, Anakin kept his head down as he waited for Shaak Ti to speak. She had completed her analysis on Fives, now they'd learn if he was crazy or not. Even though it was horrid, Anakin couldn't help hoping that Fives would be proven mad. It would mean that none of what the clone had said was true, then everything would be fine.
"The scans prove that clone trooper Fives's brain has returned to normal. However, he is still standing by what he said earlier." Anakin's heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach, the gnawing feeling of guilt starting again.
"And we're certain that this reasoning is not inhibited by the drug?" Windus rich voice filled the room and other Jedi Masters nodded in agreement.
"Yes, though we cannot understand for sure if what he is saying is true." Shaak Ti said, Anakin noticed a hint of worry in her voice. Silence stretched over the Jedi Council as they contemplated the news.
"He didn't by chance mention the name Darth Sidious, did he?" Obi-Wan's voice broke the quiet as he leaned forward, interlocking his fingers. Anakin raised a brow at his old Master, Sidious? Where had that name come from?
"Yes, I think he might have said something like it." Shaak Ti sounded surprised, turning her head in Obi-Wan's direction.
Obi-Wan looked troubled, stroking his beard with a nervous gleam in his eyes. "Master?" Anakin's question was hesitant, his eyes flicking up to Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan sighed and turned to address the Council, looking at least ten years older and wearier.
"Count Dooku mentioned that name when I was first captured on Geonosis. He claimed that Darth Sidious is the name of a powerful Sith Lord who orchestrated the Clone Wars." Anakin let his mouth fall open and several other Jedi let out cries of shock. Orchestrated the Clone Wars? How was that possible? "If what Count Dooku was saying is true, then this Sidious has played both sides of the war from the beginning. And this someone is deep in the heart of the Republic Senate itself."
"Nonsense," Ki-Adi Mundi spoke up, "if this Sith Lord did exist we would have sensed him by now." Several of the Jedi murmured amongst themselves and Anakin was inclined to believe them. The Jedi were powerful enough to sense such a disturbance.
"Clouded by the Dark Side, our vision has been of late." Yoda's guttural voice filled the room and all the side conversations disappeared. "Not sure, if the truth clone trooper Fives is speaking or not." The GrandMaster furrowed his brow and shook his head slowly. "Great care must be taken, lest this Sidious shows himself."
"Master, you can't seriously believe these ramblings?" Anakin couldn't tell who had spoken, because they were immediately drowned out by a chorus of angry shouting and defensive Jedi Masters. Anakin shoved his anger deep down but couldn't help glaring at a few select Council members. Squabbling wasn't going to do anything about this problem. Apparently, Obi-Wan and Yoda seemed to agree with him.
"Enough!" Obi-Wan's harsh order and slammed fist was met with instant silence and Anakin turned to gape at his old Master. Obi-Wan never lost his temper, ever. "If we argue senselessly, we just allow ourselves to be further deluded! The Dark Side is clouding even your judgement!" His outburst finished, Obi-Wan slumped back in his chair. Once again becoming the tired old man with his head in his hands.
"Agree with Master Kenobi, I do." Yoda's words were calmer and more measured. But his voice was laden with sorrow. "Arrogant we were, to join the war. Not let our power blind us again should we. Remember caution and hesitance or all will be lost."
"What do you suggest we do then Master?" Windu's voice was calm and he didn't look the slightest bit ruffled at the notion that a Dark Lord of the Sith could have risen.
"Hmmm, meditate on this I will." Yoda said, hopping down from his chair. The Jedi began to disperse and Anakin felt panic rise within him.
"Wait," Anakin directed his statement at Master Shaak Ti. She turned to him and he stumbled over his words. "The drug, when was the drug administered to Fives?" Anakin's voice sounded robotic even to his own ears.
"It was incorporated into his system as we arrived on Coruscant, probably by Nala Se." Anakin's legs felt weak with relief, good. The Chancellor wasn't the one who'd drugged Fives, he was innocent. Out of the corner of his eye, Anakin saw Obi-Wan standing up to leave and his worry for his old Master returned. He'd acted off today, and Anakin was determined to find out why. He followed him until they were a ways away from the Jedi Council members then moved in front of Obi-Wan.
"Anakin? Is there something I can do for you?" Obi-Wan was looking down, avoiding Anakin's gaze.
"Master, what happened back there? I've never seen you so…" Anakin's voice trailed off as he searched for the right word.
"Unhinged?" Obi-Wan offered, still looking at the ground. "I acted out, that's supposed to be your specialty." Anakin didn't even smile at Obi-Wan's attempted joke, he just waited. Eventually, Obi-Wan sighed and met Anakin's gaze. "This blasted war has taken so much. It's taken basic facilities from the citizens, it's taken the people's respect for the Jedi...and it's taken our loved ones from us." Anakin winced, it had only been a few weeks since Satine's death. How could he have been so blind?
"I'm sorry Master, I didn't mean to—"
"It's all right," Obi-Wan cut him off. The elder Jedi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Anakin probed his bond with Obi-Wan and found that his old Master was shoving his emotions down. Burying them under layers impassiveness and calm. "I'm going to meditate," Anakin snapped back to the present when Obi-Wan spoke to him. "Would you like to join me? I sense you have a lot on your mind."
Anakin opened his mouth to say 'yes', but remembered what Rex had told him and shook his head. "It's okay Master, I was going to check on Fives anyway." Obi-Wan raised a brow, but nodded. Though Anakin didn't think he was totally convinced. When Obi-Wan walked away, Anakin turned in the direction of the holding facility below the Jedi Temple. Ahsoka would be here soon, he swallowed the roiling wave of sickness and guilt as he thought of her.
Bury it, he thought, closing his eyes and clenching his teeth. Bury it. Shoving his emotions down into the recesses of his mind. Building walls around them, shutting them out. Block it out, ignore it. He slowly resumed walking, forcing himself to appear relaxed.
There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. He chanted the code over and over and over, looking for some semblance of comfort. There was nothing but an empty void that echoed the words back at him.
A/N: Woohoo, more angst! Anyway, I just want to say thank you to everyone who's actually reading this story! It's got more favorites and follows than I ever thought it would, thank you all so much for believing in this story! It really motivates me to keep writing, as usual feel free to leave a review! :D