NOTE: Today is my birthday, so double chapter today.
Chapter 24: Operation Dodoria Drop
(scene shifts to inside the spaceship with Dr. Briefs appearing in a small screen)
DR. BRIEFS: Goku!
GOKU: Hi, Dr. Briefs.
DR. BRIEFS: Goku! What have you done? You've blasted off into space! You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates for Namek, but you... (notices Goku holding a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?
GOKU: Muffin button.
"It exists!?" Lisanna cheered happily, munching on her own muffin.
DR. BRIEFS: But... I... never installed a muffin button...
GOKU: Then where did I get this muffin...?
"I don't know, but can I get more?" Natsu turned and asked Mira. The Take-Over Mage handed him a plate full of muffins.
DR. BRIEFS: Listen very close, Goku. Whatever you do, don't fool with the gravity controls. It goes up to one hundred times Earth's normal gravity.
"Why would you have that installed?" Lucy wondered.
"Probably because space has no gravity, so the ship needs gravity inside," Levy explained.
GOKU: So what you're saying is... if I turn up the gravity, then I can get stronger!
"I never thought of that as a possibility," Erza pondered.
"It could kill you," Levy added with a sweatdrop.
DR. BRIEFS: No! What I'm saying is it will crush your bones! The detrimental effects could be catastrophic! You may never walk again!
"That would be an issue if Goku was a normal human," Gray said.
GOKU: Bored now. Gotta train. Bye-bye!
DR. BRIEFS: Goku, wai-!
(Goku pushes a button to turn off the TV)
GOKU: ...I like his mustache.
"I do too," Happy bit into his muffin.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(scene shifts to Dodoria rubbing his face from Krillin's surprise attack from last episode)
DODORIA: (groans as he gets up)
ZARBON: Are you all right over there?
DODORIA: Yeah. Little bastards just hit me outta nowhere.
ZARBON: Oh, trust me, I know what it's like to take a hard one to the face.
"And they keep on coming," Evergreen sighed.
"I want Gray's hard one to my face," Juvia sighed, dreamily.
FRIEZA: Good to see you're still conscious, Dodoria. Oh, and just so you know, it's not a big deal or anything, you might want to get right onto this one, but THEY'RE GETTING AWAY, YOU FAT BASTARD!
DODORIA: (flies after Gohan and Krillin) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin, the latter holding Dende, flying through the sky)
KRILLIN: Not gonna lie, Gohan, not your brightest move.
"He couldn't let the kid die," Natsu argued back.
"And now they have a giant target marked on their backs," Carla said.
GOHAN: Oh come on, Krillin, we have a two mile lead on him. Factoring in our speed and velocity and his mass, there's no way he should be able to catch up…
"I'd agree with him, but knowing how good their luck is," Levy's face showed no confidence.
(Dodoria shoots a blast at them)
KRILLIN: Well, look who's wrong!
GOHAN: There's always room for error!
"Don't feel bad about it," Mira defended.
"They're about to get killed, he should feel bad," Laxus spoke until Mira's terrifying smile was aimed at him.
(Gohan and Krillin dodge all of Dodoria's blasts before he fires another blast that grazes Krillin, making him drop Dende)
KRILLIN: (thinking while diving after Dende) Oh dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, damm-
"Grab him Krillin!" The guild panicked.
DODORIA: (grabs Krillin's ankle) Oh no you don't!
(scene shifts to Frieza and Zarbon in a deserted Namekian village)
ZARBON: How do you think Dodoria's doing up there?
FRIEZA: We're talking about one of my finest soldiers. There's no way that they'll escape Dodoria's grasp…
"If he's one of your finest soldiers then I actually feel bad for your army," Gajeel mocked.
(scene shifts back to battle with Krillin headbutting Dodoria to break free of his grasp)
DODORIA: God dammit!
"Let's go Krillin!" The guild cheered.
(scene shifts back to Frieza and Zarbon)
ZARBON: But what if they have any tricks up their sleeves?
FRIEZA: Come now, Zarbon. We both know Dodoria would never let them out of sight...
(scene shifts back to the battle with Krillin preparing to a Solar Flare)
KRILLIN: Solar Flare! (blinds Dodoria with an image of Frieza taking a shower being briefly seen)
"AHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone covered their eyes in horror.
DODORIA: (covering his eyes) Goddammit!
ZARBON: Still, sir, we have to remember that Vegeta is on the planet.
FRIEZA: Oh, please. Like Vegeta could even lay a hand on Dodoria.
(scene shifts to Dodoria flying in the sky before getting attacked and knocked out of the sky, flying straight into the water)
DODORIA: GOD DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
"Frieza's overestimating his soldiers," Lily sweatdropped.
"I'm actually surprised he has so much faith in them," Lucy said.
(Dodoria falls into the water and comes up gasping for breath, confronted by none other than...)
VEGETA: 'Sup, bubblegum?
DODORIA: Vegeta! You got some serious balls to get the drop on me.
VEGETA: Funny you should mention that. I just happen to be looking for a set.
"He's talking about the Dragonballs right?" Gray asked.
DODORIA: Well, look at you, Veggie. All grown up and out on your own. Trying to move up in the world.
VEGETA: And look at you. Packing away more bacon than Hormel.
"I was expecting the fat jokes," Gajeel laughed.
DODORIA: Very funny. But you won't be laughing when Frieza finds your scrawny ass. So how 'bout I make you a deal? You hand over that pretty red scouter, and maybe I won't point Frieza in the right direction.
"Wrong thing to say," Romeo said.
"It would be better for Dodoria to just give up," Wendy said.
VEGETA: (holds his scouter in his hand) Oh. You mean this scouter?
DODORIA: That's right.
VEGETA: Well, I'd be inclined to give it to you, but, you see, there's a problem with it.
DODORIA: And what would that be?
(Vegeta crushes the scouter with his foot)
VEGETA: It's broken.
"Vegeta's smartassness is growing on me," Gajeel smirked.
DODORIA: Blagh! You fool! Now you're as blind as the rest of us.
VEGETA: Not quite. See, while I was on Earth, I learned a new trick. I can sense energy.
"How hard do you have to get your ass kicked to learn that?" Bickslow wondered.
DODORIA: How the hell'd you do that?
VEGETA: Uuhna.
"Either Saiyan power boost or plot convenience," Levy summed up.
DODORIA: Wait a minute! I get it now! Those little bastards I was chasing were Earthlings! You sent them to lure me away from Frieza!
VEGETA: I'm sorry, but at this point, all I hear is, "Hit me Vegeta! Please kill me! God, this armor makes me look fat!"
"I hear the same thing whenever Salamander speaks," Gajeel smirked.
"SHUT UP YOU CRAPPY SINGER!" Natsu roared. The two dragon slayers fought until Erza intervened.
DODORIA: THAT'S IT!
(Dodoria begins firing a couple of blasts in Vegeta's direction)
DODORIA: MOUTHY! LITTLE! PRICK!
VEGETA: (appears behind Dodoria unharmed) Where ya aimin', dugong?
DODORIA: Uggghhh! (swings a punch at Vegeta, who effortlessly catches his arm)
"At least someone is having fun," Lisanna said.
"Too bad it's the evil saiyan," Lucy finished.
VEGETA: (jumps as Dodoria tries to spin kick him) Upsy-daisy! (grabs Dodoria's other and pulls both of them behind his back)
DODORIA: Aaaaaah!
VEGETA: Any last words, before I take you apart like a pink potato head?
DODORIA: W-Wait! I can tell you what really happened to your planet!
"Frieza blew it up?" Levy spoke.
VEGETA: You mean that Frieza blew it up?
Everyone turned to Levy confused. The Solid-Script mage resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
"It was pretty obvious when you really think about it," She told them, taking a bite out of her muffin.
DODORIA: No, thatFriezablewitup...! What?
VEGETA: Really should have told Frieza to keep off the Twitter.
(shows a shot of Frieza's SpaceTwitter page)
"Wow," Was the single thought going through everyone's head.
(Vegeta begins tightening his grip on Dodoria)
DODORIA: Please. Don't kill me. I beg ya. Don't kill me-e-e.
"The villains always beg," Laxus said, unimpressed.
VEGETA: Look at you, Dodoria. You were always so damn proud. And now here you are, crying like a woman!
DODORIA: I AM a woman!
The entire audience paused, trying to process the new bit of information.
"I-I'm sorry...What?" Carla stuttered out.
VEGETA: Wh- What?
DODORIA: I said I AM a woman.
"I-I don't...huh?" Lucy spoke, baffled.
VEGETA: WHAT?!
(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin, who is once again holding Dende, in the sky after escaping from Dodoria)
KRILLIN: Well, good thing I was there to get us out of that one.
GOHAN: Well, yeah, but... Why didn't you use your Kienzan?
KRILLIN: Hey, look, I even saved this thing! Can you fly, little guy?
"Way to change the subject Krillin," Said the recovering Freed.
DENDE: My name is Dende. (starts flying in the air) And yes, we all learned when we are children.
GOHAN: You know, you should probably stick with us.
DENDE: Considering it is either that, or going back to meet the same fate as my brother and father... I am weighing my options…
"He'd actually rather choose death," Juvia said, confused.
"Considering the group he's stuck with, I don't blame him," Bickslow said.
KRILLIN: I like you! I'm gonna call you Little Green!
DENDE: My name is Dende.
"Not anymore," Natsu grinned.
KRILLIN: Come on, Little Green, let's go introduce you to Bulma. (everyone starts to fly away)
(scene shifts back to Vegeta, with darkened eyes, listening to Dodoria's speech)
DODORIA: ...And that's why I was considered the most beautiful—and fertile—woman on my home planet. Before Frieza blew it up.
VEGETA: He tends to do that. Also, huuuugh.
"I'm so glad we didn't hear that story," Macao wiped his forehead. Everyone blanched at the thought.
DODORIA: So now you know the truth, Vegeta.
VEGETA: Yes, I do. And now I'm going to start repressing the truth! And the first step is killing you.
"I do not blame him at all," Gajeel said, sounding relieved.
DODORIA: W-w-wait! You and I, w-we could team up against Frieza! Rule the universe as husband and wife.
"Wrong thing to say," Gray almost threw up.
"Kill her," Laxus demanded.
VEGETA: Repressing in 5... (Dodoria is seen being panicked) 4... 3... (Dodoria begins to flee) 2... 1... (fires an energy wave at Dodoria, obliterating "her") Aaaand repressed.
"The universe is finally balanced," Laxus sighed.
(scene shifts to Gohan, Krillin, and Dende arriving at the cave where Bulma is hiding)
GOHAN: Krillin, that's the cave!
KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma. You clean up in there? We have guests.
(a roaring sound is heard from inside the cave)
"I'm worried," Wendy said, nervously.
DENDE: I do not think I want to go in there.
KRILLIN: Ah, don't worry... That's just Bulma.
DENDE: I do not know what this "Bulma" is, but it sounds needy.
"That's just all women," Macao and Wakaba said. Both getting hit in the head by Cana's liquor bottles.
(the trio are seen in front of a capsule house)
KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma, open up!
(Bulma opens the door)
BULMA: Hm? Well, if it isn't Mr. Super Soaker himself. What happened? Got tired of abandoning me and found something else to abandon?
"Trust me, we all wish we could abandon you," Laxus said.
KRILLIN: (as Dende is seen hiding behind a rock) Bulma! You're scaring Little Green.
DENDE: I am still weighing my options.
"Good kid," Gajeel complimented.
BULMA: Oh, by the way, my dad called earlier. He says Goku's on his way here.
KRILLIN: WOOHOO!
BULMA: Aaand he'll be here in six days.
"That's not good," Mira said.
KRILLIN: WOOHOO- awww... Well, good thing I took out that life insurance policy.
DENDE: Mr. Gohan? Those things on that person's chest. (referring to Bulma's boobs) What are they?
"That's right, they don't have women," Lucy remembered.
GOHAN: Oh, on Bulma? Those are breasts.
DENDE: They look lovely. I wish to nestle between them.
"He doesn't even have male genitalia and he's horny," Lucy sighed.
KRILLIN: ...You are just adorable.
(Scene shifts to an outside view of Frieza's ship. Frieza is seen inside on the Space Skype talking to Captain Ginyu.)
FRIEZA: Oh, no, no, Ginyu. We won't need any assistance. We have this all under control.
"No you don't," Laxus countered.
ZARBON: (from the other side of a door) Lord Frieza, I wish to enter.
FRIEZA: Oh, pardon me. I have to take this. Ta-ta! (shuts down Space Skype and descents to the ground) What is it, Zarbon?
ZARBON: Well, sir, the scout has reported back.
FRIEZA: Good. So Dodoria has eliminated those pests, then?
"It's the other way around really," Makarov said.
ZARBON: Well... that's just it... It turns out... "she's" dead.
FRIEZA: ...The f**k?!
"All of our reactions," Bickslow nodded his head.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(scene shifts to outer space with Goku's ship flying through an asteroid field)
GOKU: Now, before I start training... I need the right music to train to. Let's see here. (pushes a button)
(Paul Stanley's "Live to Win" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)
"Nah," The kids replied.
(Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)
"Something different," The kids said.
(Stan Bush "Never Surrender" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)
"Good, but not it," The kids nodded their heads.
(Team America's "Montage" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)
"Change," The kids replied immediately.
(Lazy Town's "Cooking By the Book" plays)
The kids all bob their heads to the music.
GOKU: Yaaay!
(spaceship is seen flying off into the cosmos)
Chapter End