RIP Betty White, the last of the Golden Girls. May you rest in peace!
Also, Happy New year!
Reborn had the sneaking suspicion his father was pranking him in some way, even during what should have been a serious peace summit.
The thing was he couldn't figure out how.
That is, until the idiot magicians showed up to cause trouble.
Reborn was fully prepared to cause a massacre, except his father raised his hand in a clear 'wait' gesture. He paused, and not for the first time wished he was rid of this damn curse. It was humiliating being stuck as a toddler.
"How about we firmly establish your role as the new Phoenix Queen to the remainder of the Three Factions," he said, grinning at the odd girl who looked suspiciously familiar.
The blond smirked, and gone was her "quiet, innocent" demeanor.
Sky flames filled the general area, before coalescing into a pair of all too familiar blazing wings. Reborn's eyes narrowed as he saw the all too recognizable form of Twilight Burning, and recognition crossed his face.
He looked at Azazel, then at the girl.
"You bastard, you knew she was here this entire time."
"And ruin my fun?" said Azazel cackling.
"Dame-Sayuri, I am doubling your training for going along with this," growled Reborn. "It's bad enough you somehow reversed time, but to get this deep into the affairs of the Three Factions is ridiculous even for you."
Dead silence.
"Um...who's Sayuri?" asked Issei.
Asia sighed in exasperation and annoyance.
"My name is Asia now. Weak, timid Sayuri died a very long time ago and I refuse to bring her back. Especially since it would only encourage that jackass to think he has a say in my life."
There were many confused looks hearing that, and quite a few were curious as to how Azazel's son knew her. Or why he called her Sayuri.
Reborn watched with a critical eye that swiftly turned approval as Asia not only beat every single mage there, but did so with brutal efficiency. She only bothered land when the descendant of Leviathan showed up, and that was because she was getting bored.
While Azazel dealt with her, Reborn turned to Sayuri...or rather Asia now.
"I am so proud of you," he said honestly.
"...Is that before or after I made my own Disciplinary Committee and then proceeded to inflict the same sort of 'training' you would give me on bad days whenever I catch the two second biggest perverts violating the basic privacy of the students?" asked Asia to no one in particular.
Reborn's evil glint got worse, as he recalled the rather delightful sight of people getting tormented in ways that would cause an unending amount of mental trauma.
Issei and Vali took one look at the expression the two had and shivered.
"Dear Lucifer...you don't think he's the one who..." started Issei horrified.
"At this point I am honestly afraid to ask," said Vali. Then a thought occurred to him. "Actually, how did that weird prayer you did before she kicked that idiot fallen's ass go again?"
Issei blinked.
"You mean the joke we started to piss off the exorcists?" asked Issei. Vali nodded. "The way Asia put it, since we can't pray to heaven then we might as well direct it the other way. Just do a reverse cross on your chest and direct it to whatever Maou you favor the most."
"Wait, what?" said Sirzechs and Serafall in unison, baffled.
Issei shrugged.
"It was Asia's suggestion, and Rias-taicho seemed to find it hilarious."
Rias was clearly trying to hide a laugh at the expression on her brother's face...but the best one was the look Micheal had on his face hearing that.
"Why would you need to know how to 'pray' to the Maou?" asked Rias.
Vali hooked a thumb at the way Asia and Azazel's son were interacting. It was clear they had a history together and that Asia favored him. She rarely looked at anyone like that, so it was obvious what his train of thought was.
Asia barely noticed how everyone was observing her...right up until she heard the rather audible prayer to Lucifer and Leviathan respectively. She turned to look at them with an odd expression.
"Did you seriously just pray to the two Maou that she get laid by a toddler?" asked Irina.
"Not a toddler, and he's simply under a rather annoying curse," said Asia absently. "Coincidentally when I capture the idiot who helped create it I'm going to force him to dismantle the majority of the system because it's become rather redundant by this point."
Meanwhile in the air, Azazel was clearly trying to avoid being hit from laughing his ass off after hearing Vali pray for Asia to get laid.
Some time later...
Whatever Reborn thought his father wanted, since he didn't really need Azazel's contacts to find his missing student, the following conversation was not it.
"What do you want?" asked Reborn annoyed.
"I don't care if you make Asia your girlfriend or your daughter. Either way I'm adopting her," said Azazel.
"What," said Reborn in shock.
"Like I'd miss the looks you two were sharing that whole time."
"She's my former student," said Reborn.
"Not this time around, and both of you are only half-human at this point," Azazel pointed out. "An age difference of a few decades really isn't that much to a fallen."
Reborn openly considered this. He had always favored Asia (it was going to take a few days for him to get used to that name) over other females and Skies for a while. Even his fellow Arcobaleno had noticed he tended to actually listen to her demands when he barely tolerated them out of Luce or any other Sky.
And then the incident happened...and he had nearly gone supernova the moment he found out that Sayuri had died for real.
Waking up close to thirty years before her death had been surreal. And it had taken every bit of restraint not to go to Japan, find Nana and insure Sayuri never had to suffer her so-called father's attempts to keep her out of the mafia.
Now his own father was openly encouraging him to date someone he still saw as his former student. It was somewhat surreal.
Though even Reborn could admit his father had a point. An age difference of a century or less really wasn't an issue to a Fallen, and Asia was swiftly losing her humanity in favor of a species well known to have a long life span.
"Are you seriously telling me to sleep with a girl barely even seventeen?"
"I'm just saying one way or another I'm adopting her as part of the family," said Azazel calmly. "Whether it's as a daughter-in-law or as a granddaughter is up to you."
"Do I have time to think about this?" asked Reborn.
"Until something happens that requires her to make that choice. After all, I hardly expect someone who looks like a toddler to start a relationship...even the devils frown on that," said Azazel.
Well, those with sense did anyway and he knew damn well the Maou would take poorly to anyone who tried to groom actual children for such a thing.
"How did she end up here anyway?"
Because that was one question that had been bugging him for a while now.
"Do you want the long version or the short, sweet version."
"Long. Something tells me I'll have a lot to tor...train her for," said Reborn.
He would skip the usual double espresso and head straight for the hard liquor after hearing half of the trouble his student had been causing. Then he got her side of the story which lead to him trying to shoot her for stirring up so much chaos while he didn't have a chance to appreciate it.
They had a...complicated...relationship, to say the least.
On the plus side he could legitimately cancel his contract with the Vongola, because there was no actual way he could turn the missing "heiress" into their new Donna.
To say that Timoteo was not happy that Reborn canceled his contract so abruptly, without giving them anything to work with in regards to the missing girl.
As such, it was less than surprising when Lal Mirch showed up to investigate. It was reasoned she would be a little less conspicuous than any of the Varia.
What she expected and what she found were two laughably different things.
Lal twitched the moment she met Asia.
"Reborn...why didn't you tell us you already found her?" demanded Lal, looking very much like she wanted to shoot him, but common sense stopped her.
Asia smirked.
"Perhaps I should introduce myself properly. My name is Asia Argento," she said calmly.
Lal stared at her for several seconds as she processed this, before she started to twitch rampantly.
"Are you telling me that Sayuri Sawada is actually the 'false holy maiden' the Church was up in arms about after she healed a devil?" said Lal.
"Please, the only reason they cast me out was to save their own ass. I never once called myself some holy maiden...they paraded that on their own, and if they had known half the things I have on the higher ups they would have been a lot more careful about it," said Asia flatly.
Lal looked very much like she wanted a stiff drink. Things had become infinitely more complicated.
"The liquor cabinet is down the hall and to the right, try not to drain it dry," said Reborn.
Lal got properly smashed, before trying to think of a way to phrase this so that the Vongola would understand they'd have to give up on Sayuri as a bad job. The headache of dealing with the Church wasn't worth it.
And that was before she found out how heavily entrenched the girl was with the Three Factions.
One of the unofficial rules of the Mafia was that they stayed out of the affairs of the Three Factions, and in exchange they stayed firmly out of the human underworld.
This truce has kept the worst of their infighting from affecting them. And the Vindice tended to crack down hard on anyone stupid enough to try and break that truce.
It did not help that the girl also had an ex-Exorcist with her as her "combat Lightning", or that the girl in question was a genuine Holy Sword user.
They did not need this headache.
Asia was entirely too cheerful as Lal arranged a video meeting between her and the Vongola higher-ups...including her 'father', though she refused to acknowledge him as such.
To better hide her identity, she temporarily dyed her hair brown and changed her eye color to amber. It was part of why Reborn was so terrifyingly good at cosplay and he had been more than happy to share that spell with her. After hellish training, of course.
Azazel was discreetly recording the meeting for further enjoyment. He and Verde were seriously considering a permanent drone or 'bodyguard' who's only purpose was to follow Asia around to record the chaos she created in her wake.
To be fair, he wasn't the only one watching the show. A number of people were discreetly watching, some had even made popcorn because this was going to be prime entertainment.