NOTE: What other FT characters would you like to see appear later? Not during this saga obviously, but for the later movies and Androids/Cell saga.
Chapter 31: The Good, The Bad, and The Purple
(cuts to Guru's house)
GURU: And so I tell him, "I don't care who you are! Now clean my jowls!" And that was Nail's first day on the job.
"I continue to pity Nail," Macao said.
"A real toxic relationship," Evergreen disapproved.
NAIL: Yes, sir... I remember, I was there. That also doesn't have anything to do with what we were talking about.
"You were talking?" Levy's eyebrow rose.
"You sure it wasn't just him insulting you?" Gray was skeptical.
GURU: What were we talking about?
NAIL: That ungodly POWER headed our way! (shows Frieza flying his way to Guru's house)
"That is a gigantic issue," Wendy shivered.
"Someone should really do something about that," Gajeel said.
GURU: Oh yeah... that.
NAIL: You know, perhaps you should give someone else that power-up. You remember, the one you gave the Earthlings?
GURU: You are correct. It is time for me to unlock your hidden powers... Dende.
"Why Little Green?" Natsu asked, confused.
"And I'm sure Nail didn't mean Dende," Lucy sweatdropped.
(Guru unlocks Dende's hidden potential)
DENDE: Ahh, what the hell?!
GURU: And now, your power has been awakened.
DENDE: I noticed!
NAIL: Sir, I was referring to ME-!
"Nail would've made more sense," Levy sighed.
GURU: Now listen to me, Dende. With these powers, you garner a huge responsibility. I need you to run as fast as you can to the Earthlin-
NAIL: Sir, he left you the moment after you gave him the power-up.
(shows Dende flying away from a window)
GURU: That SLUT!
Everyone laughs at Dende's retreat.
["SANJOU! GINYU TOKUSENTAI!" OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cuts to outside Frieza's ship with Jeice reporting to Captain Ginyu about what just happened)
JEICE: Then out of nowhere, this stupid guy in this stupid outfit starts beating us up, and I lost me best mate, and-
"You guys have no right to feel as if you're the victims," Laxus growled.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Jeice! You'll speak to me professionally and dutifully.
"At least somebody is professional," Carla felt a bit relieved.
JEICE: (now calm) Oh, um... Sorry, cap'n.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Now, Jeice, back from the field. Full report.
JEICE: Well, see, at first it was going fine... but next thing we know, Guldo... well...
CAPTAIN GINYU: Oh lord, he's dead, isn't he...?
"He's feeling remorse over Guldo's death?" Lucy was shocked.
"Well...he is the captain, so it makes sense," Levy pieced together.
JEICE: That he is, sir...
CAPTAIN GINYU: Well... in our line of work, our lives can be compromised at any moment. This is something we must live with. On the plus side, Burter owes me 50 Raditz.
"Good luck with that," Bickslow laughed.
"Gonna have a very difficult time getting that," Gajeel snickered.
JEICE: About that, cap'n... he's probably not gonna pay up.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Really? He's usually such a good sport about that.
"I would say 'was' a good sport," Cana spat drunkenly.
JEICE: Thing is, he's come down with a sudden case of death, sir.
CAPTAIN GINYU: (sincerely upset) Oh... that's... wow. That's a rather hefty loss.
"I do find it sweet that Ginyu cares for his men," Lisanna smiled.
"A nice change of pace from the usual assholes," Bickslow commented.
JEICE: Yes, sir. He was a valued teammate. Strong, fast, and-
CAPTAIN GINYU: And blue!
JEICE: Pardon, cap'n?
CAPTAIN GINYU: Blue! And tall! And you're so red! And short! It was the perfect little yin-yang thing we had going!
"Kinda like Natsu and Gray," Lucy mused.
Both mages cried out in disagreement at the stupid(Their opinon) comparison.
JEICE: (muttering) Not that short, cap'n.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Oh, don't go all Vegeta on me. Now, where are we going to find another blue recruit? Perhaps Recoome knows someone.
"He knew someone," Gajeel corrected.
JEICE: (lets out a disappointed sigh)
CAPTAIN GINYU: He's dead too, isn't he...?
JEICE: Yeah...
CAPTAIN GINYU: Well, did he at least die with dignity?
(Shows a shot of Recoome lying face down on the ground, his naked ass in the air. Buzzing flies are heard.)
"No, no he did not," Gajeel laughed.
"Honestly he got off too easy," Mira grumbled.
JEICE: Define "dignity", sir.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Uhhh... Well, Jeice, I believe the next step is obvious. We, as professionals, cannot allow this act to go unabated. We have a job to finish, and we shall see it through.
JEICE: Yes, sir!
CAPTAIN GINYU: Ginyu Force, away!
(Captain Ginyu and Jeice fly off in the distance)
(cuts to the battlefield showing Goku, Gohan, Krillin, and Vegeta)
GOKU: Sure is nice to see you guys again. But I sure can't help but feel that someone's missing.
"Bulma?" Levy threw in.
GOHAN: What do you think she's up to?
KRILLIN: Probably something girly…
"Sexist," Most of the women glared.
(cuts to Bulma in a mech suit fighting a giant crab underwater, with "Crabplosion" playing in the background)
Killing crabs... in the ocean
Kill it fast... pain explosion
Yeah!
"At least Bulma's having her own little adventure," Mira smiled.
"Where did she get the mech though?" Romeo wondered.
"Better not to ask questions," Levy replied.
(cuts back to Krillin and Gohan)
KRILLIN: ...like her hair.
VEGETA: Your idiotic banter is charming, but if you haven't noticed, we're pretty much screwed here.
"How?" Happy didn't see how.
GOKU: What? Why?
VEGETA: Frieza has the Dragon Balls, you dolt! Which basically means we're already dead.
"Oh yeah, Vegeta doesn't know the full facts of the Dragonballs," Levy reminded everyone.
KRILLIN: Actually, not really.
VEGETA: Oh? Something you know that I don't?
KRILLIN: A lot of things, actually.
"You wanna word that better?" Lucy chuckled, nervously.
"Congrats on having the balls to say it, Krillin," Gajeel clapped.
VEGETA: ... You have five seconds to rephrase that. 4... 3...
KRILLIN: Actually, what I meant to say was, when you make a wish on the Dragon Balls, the sky turns darker than the blackest void…
(cuts to Mr. Popo on Earth)
MR. POPO: Hm?
Everyone shivered.
(cuts back to Krillin)
KRILLIN: And out of the balls... rises a giant dragon! So yeah, none of that.
VEGETA: ... 2... 1…
"He was still counting?" Carla raised an eyebrow.
"He really doesn't like Krillin," Lily sweatdropped.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Hi, Vegeta.
VEGETA: Hi, Ginyu- (realizes that Captain Ginyu and Jeice has arrived) Ugh…
"He keeps falling for it," Lisanna giggled.
JEICE: (referring to Goku) That's him, cap'n! That's the one who beat us up!
"Why does he sound like a spoiled kid who called his brother for help?" Romeo asked.
"Because that's exactly what he is," His father answered.
CAPTAIN GINYU: What? Just look at his hair! He looks like he just got out of bed! For goodness sakes, Jeice, he's even wearing pajamas!
"You're not even wearing pants," Canna pointed out.
"And who are you to judge his appearance?" Erza looked offended.
JEICE: I swear it, sir. He picked us apart one by one. We never stood a cha- (Goku punches him in the face again) Aaah! Oh, that's just not fair!
"You'd think he'd be more on guard," Lily smirked.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Jeice, what have I told you?
VEGETA: You know, I'm surprised you're here, Ginyu. I thought you'd be busy polishing Frieza's boots.
CAPTAIN GINYU: First off, Lord Frieza doesn't wear boots. Second, if he did, I'd have already polished them. Third, he's off chasing some leftover Namekians.
"Why does he remind me of Freed?" Laxus muttered, terrified.
VEGETA: Wait, so Frieza's not at the ship...
CAPTAIN GINYU: Correct.
VEGETA: And you're here...
CAPTAIN GINYU: That's right.
"Vegeta's entire attention has been placed somewhere else," Freed commented.
"Giving Vegeta exactly what he wants has been the theme of this sage," Levy noticed.
VEGETA: And the average power level of Frieza's soldiers is...
CAPTAIN GINYU: Two thousand.
"I feel like that should be lower," Lucy frowned.
VEGETA: I-i-i-interesting...!
GOKU: Krillin! Gohan! Get out of here and find Bulma. Vegeta and I can handle this on our own.
"Correction, YOU can handle it on your own," Laxus spoke.
KRILLIN: Oh, no! I mean, I'd really hate to leave you on your own, you know, but if you say so, LET'S GO, GOHAN! (flies away with Gohan)
"I don't blame Krillin for wanting to leave," Wendy said.
"None of us do...this time," Gray told her.
GOHAN: Be careful, Dad!
GOKU: All right, Vegeta. We have to put our differences aside for now, and take these guys as a team.
VEGETA: Yeah, that's fantastic and entertaining and all that... but first, if you don't mind me... I need to use the restroom.
"What terrible lie," Lucy sweatdropped.
GOKU: Oh, okay.
"Don't fall for it!" The Celestial mage yelled.
VEGETA: About a hundred miles away. (flies off)
GOKU: ...He has a very nervous bladder. (gets elbowed in the face by Captain Ginyu)
"Cheap shot," Wakaba booed.
(cuts to Frieza flying to Guru's house in his bubble car)
FRIEZA: (thinking) So, for the first century, I'll go easy on them, lure them into a false sense of security, and then when they think I'm not so bad, BAM! I'll go full tyrant on them in the second century. After that, I'll disappear for a millennium and make them wonder if I ever existed to begin with... just to come back and kill them all.
"He probably daydreams about his own plans a lot," Levy said.
(Frieza flies past Dende, who's travelling in the opposite direction. Dende gives Frieza a nasty glare)
FRIEZA: Good afternoon.
DENDE: It's morning. (in Namekian/Klingon) Douche.
"How can you even tell when there's no night at all?" Lucy complained.
FRIEZA: Cute kid. Seems familiar.
"I'm really grateful he doesn't remember Dende," Lisanna sighed.
(Frieza speeds up and arrives at Guru's house, his bubble car making a Jetsons' sound effect while descending to ground level. Frieza then gets out of his bubble care and gets confronted by...)
NAIL: What do you want?
FRIEZA: Ah, good sir, I suppose you could say I'm looking for technical support.
"If you wanna call it stealing their property and then using it for yourself, then sure yeah it's pretty accurate," Gajeel said, sarcastically.
GURU: (from inside his house) Naaaaaaiiiiil, do we have a visitor?
NAIL: Yes, sir.
GURU: (from inside his house) Naaaaiiil, take his coat.
FRIEZA: I don't have a coat.
"He does have armor," Natsu added.
NAIL: He doesn't have a coat, sir. And I believe this is the man who basically killed our entire race.
GURU: (from inside his house, sounding a bit annoyed) Naaaiil, don't take his coat.
"At least he recognized the threat," Lucy was a bit grateful.
FRIEZA: You see, I recently acquired what you people refer to as "Dragon Balls"... but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want.
NAIL: Did you try working the shaft?
"Ha! That was a good one," Gajeel laughed.
"I don't get it," Wendy's face scrunched up. Working her brain to understand the joke.
FRIEZA: (lowers his head) Classy.
GURU: (from inside his house) Naaaail, what does he want?
NAIL: He's asking how to use the Dragon Balls.
GURU: (from inside his house) Did you tell him to work the shaft?
NAIL: Yes, Lord Guru.
GURU: (from inside his house) Good work, Nail.
"It's amazing how they're on the same wavelength all of a sudden," Gray laughed.
"It's called screwing over Frieza. It'll bring everyone together," Cana laughed loudly.
FRIEZA: I have the distinct impression you're going to be difficult.
"They have no reason to help you," Makarov said.
NAIL: Well, sir, if you're having a problem with our customer support, you can call 1-800-eat-a-d**k.
"I'm using that," Levy called it before Gajeel did. The Dragon Slayer slumped back and pouted. The word mage giggled into her hands.
GURU: (from inside his house) We don't even HAVE those!
"Them find one," Natsu said, nonchalantly. Lucy turned towards him in disbelief.
FRIEZA: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What IS that? (shoots eyes laser at Guru's house, blowing up the top part and revealing Guru)
GURU: Oh, God, NATURAL LIGHT!
"Yeah, it's the worst," Makarov nodded his head in agreement.
FRIEZA: Good lord! I was led to believe your species survived entirely on water. How is he so FAT?!
"Rude," Lisanna glared.
GURU: Oh, hello, I'm Super Kami Guru, and I'm the guy who's NOT judging you on your appearance.
"Exactly! Proper introductions are a must!" Erza said, sternly.
FRIEZA: Well, my name is Frieza; ruler of most of the known galaxy. I'm here to offer you a deal. You give me the information I require, and I'll let the sporting young man live.
"Suddenly sounding like a good deal," Romeo said.
GURU: Please. Nail isn't afraid of you... He is the strongest of our race!
FRIEZA: Oh, really?
NAIL: (nervously) Uh, sir?
GURU: Yeah, Nail's gonna destroy your sorry ass. They wouldn't be able to air it on the news because it'll be so BRUTAL!
"Oh...he's just sending Nail to his death," Levy realized.
"Maybe Nail can buy some time for the others," Lisanna hoped.
"He's gonna die," Gajeel crushed Lisanna's hopes. Earning him an elbow to his sides.
NAIL: (desperately trying to get Guru's attention) Sir, seriously-!
GURU: Hush, Nail! I'm speaking for you.
"Sending him to his death," Erza glared.
FRIEZA: (puts on his scouter) Well, then, If this is the only course of action available to me, I accept. I'll dispatch this worm and then I'll be back for you, slug.
GURU: Leave my brother out of this!
"Your brother is dead," Lily said.
NAIL: Sir, his power is overwhelming! I can also sense it's only a fraction of what he's capable of!
"Something you never wanna hear about your opponent," Erza frowned.
GURU: Nail, listen to me... You are Namek's number one son. A prodigy child. You have been trained in the ancient ways... I believe in you.
NAIL: You... mean that, Lord Guru?
"He's marinating you," Macao pointed out.
GURU: Yes, Nail... Now show him the staggering spirit of Namek... and waste his smug ass!
NAIL: Yes sir! (to Frieza) Follow me! (leaves with Frieza to a different location to do battle)
GURU: Fool... If I had trained him in the NEW way, he might have stood a chance.
"He's a bastard," Laxus growled.
(cuts to Goku and Ginyu fighting in the air)
CAPTAIN GINYU: You have an interesting form and a surprisingly well-honed technique.
GOKU: And you're purple!
"Chill the racism Goku," Levy advised.
(both Goku and Captain Ginyu jump back)
CAPTAIN GINYU: I'm sufficiently impressed. You've held your own very well. But your form and grace will never compare to that of the illustrious CAPTAIN GINYU! (strikes a pose)
GOKU: (mimicking Captain Ginyu's pose) You mean, like this?
CAPTAIN GINYU: (blushing) Oh, God! Is that what I look like? Jeice! That isn't what I look like, is it?
"Have you never looked in a mirror?" Gray questioned.
"If they did this entire situation would be completely different," Lucy answered.
JEICE: No, cap'n! You look amazing!
GOKU: No offense, but this is boring... Like, really boring... Like, listening to Gohan's piano recital boring…
"That recital would be cute," Mira gushed.
"Nah, sounds pretty boring to me," Natsu shrugged his shoulders. Mira's chilling smile made the dragon slayer hide behind Lucy.
CAPTAIN GINYU: I realized these poses in an effort to invigorate my men and raise morale! How DARE you mock them?!
GOKU: Well, I mean, it's just.. I'm not even using half my power right now.
"That's a recurring theme in this show," Levy rolled her eyes. The petite woman decided to count how many times someone says that.
CAPTAIN GINYU:: Aha, quite a substantial bluff. But a bluff, and nothing more. I've witnessed your abilities firsthand and I assure you that you're-
"Underestimating saiyans," Freed finished the sentence.
(Goku powers up in Kaio-ken, causing both Captain Ginyu and Jeice's scouters to start beeping rapidly. Goku powers down)
"Also missed a kaio-what joke," Levy sighed.
CAPTAIN GINYU: A hundred and eighty thousand... Hunh.
"Told ya," Freed formed a smug smile.
JEICE: Oy, cap'n, isn't your max power level only one hundred and-
CAPTAIN GINYU: DAAAUUUUGGHH! (holds his head and dives into the water)
JEICE: Yeah, one hundred and twenty thousand, that's what I thought.
GOKU: Is he gonna be okay?
JEICE: Eh, the cap'n? Yeah, he just does that sometimes.
"And you're not concerned?" Evergreen asked.
(Ginyu comes back out of the water and holds his head)
CAPTAIN GINYU: GAH! Alright, I'm back.
JEICE: How ya going, cap'n?
CAPTAIN GINYU: How do you think?
JEICE: Well, cap'n, if you're getting stressed, you could always... you know.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Oh, Jeice! This is hardly the time or the place. Besides, I did it in the pod on the way here.
"Gross," The females said at once.
JEICE: (surprised) Uh... I meant switch bodies, sir…
"HE CAN DO WHAT!?" Everyone jumped up.
CAPTAIN GINYU: Ah, yes! Of course! (throws his scouter at Jeice, who catches it with one hand) Hold my scouter.
GOKU: Hey, what are you doing with your hand?
(Captain Ginyu punches a hole in his own chest)
"OH GOD!" Most of them blanched at the gore.
GOKU: (completely shocked) Um, sir...? You're supposed to do that to me...
CAPTAIN GINYU: (in pain) Oh-ho, but you see... I DID do it to you.
"I don't understand…" Natsu's brain worked overtime.
GOKU: I don't understand...
CAPTAIN GINYU: CHANGE NOOOWWWW!
(Captain Ginyu switches bodies with Goku, laughing evilly while doing so. Camera shows a blurry vision of Goku in midair.)
GOKU: (thinking) Oh, wow... what happened? Everything seems... weird. (regains his vision and sees himself) Oh, hey! There's another me over there! I wonder if- (starts moving forward but suddenly stops) Ahh! Ow! My chest! What in the... (looks down and sees Captain Ginyu's hand) Oh..
(camera reveals Goku in Captain Ginyu's body)
GOKU: (out loud in a different voice) Oh... ohhhh...
"Oh crapbaskets..." Everyone said.
["TOKUSENTAI!" ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(cuts to Gohan and Krillin arriving back at the cave)
KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma... We're back.
GOHAN: How ya doing?
BULMA: I FOUGHT A GIANT CRAB!
"Good for you," Happy smiled.
KRILLIN: ...They make a special shampoo for that, I hear. (screen goes black as a punching sound is heard) Ow!
"Not the time Krillin," Gray sighed.
Chapter End