A/N: I'm extremely happy I managed to bang a chapter out while on vacation. I hope you are too! Let me know in the reviews. Thanks to my beta Stef for inspiring me always.

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Maybe This Time

Chapter 7

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But somehow, some things never change

And even time hasn't cooled the flame

It's burnin' even brighter than it did before

It got another chance, and if they take it…

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"And then Alma said she'd hide all the uni balls in the office if he didn't stop mentioning Sheila's cervix length on his dictaphone." Rachel still sniggered upon recollecting this Louis memory.

Donna placed two steaming mugs with tea on the coffee table and pushed a cookie tin in Rachel's direction.

"Oh god," Donna chuckled. "I don't know who to feel more sorry for. Louis, Alma, or Sheila."

"Oh, definitely Louis." Rachel was resolute. "Both his work wife and actual wife bulldoze him. I think Sheila gives him a measuring tape each night when he comes home and makes him—"

"Rachel Elizabeth Zane, do not finish that sentence." Donna wagged her finger at the brunette. "I'll never get that image from my retinas."

Rachel giggled into her cup but kept her mouth shut. It was a good thing Donna had arranged for Jack to take the girls today because catching up on office gossip was not meant for little ears.

Donna leaned back into her couch, letting the fluffiness of the cushions engulf her.

"Okay," Rachel started, "Mike insists on me telling you he had a very good reason to send that text message the other day."

Donna raised an eyebrow but remained silent.

"I rang because," Rachel took a deep breath, "I wanted to share with you that I'm pregnant." The words quickly tumbled out of her mouth.

Donna's eyes grew wide and she veered in the direction of her friend. "Oh my god," she shrieked as Rachel quickly placed her cup down to receive the incoming hug. "Congratulations!"

They talked babies for a while, Donna texted Mike about the pup having a puppy, and Rachel was immensely relieved her friend was enthusiastic about the news.

Donna scooted back to her spot and tilted her head, eyeing the brunette.

"What?"

"What happened to that life plan of yours? You were very determined to do things in a certain order. Pass the bar, get married, have a baby."

"You mean besides my boyfriend going to jail for being a fraud?" Rachel tried to make light of the situation but she couldn't quite hide the strain in her voice.

Donna just kept looking at her so Rachel licked her lips and came clean.

"We've been kicking our wedding plans down the road because the best man and maid of honor couldn't, wouldn't, be in the same room together."

Donna, about to take a sip, froze momentarily, blinking rapidly to process this information.

"I would have," she whispered. "And I'm sure Harvey would have too. We'd been civil."

"Yeah well, given what we all once were, civil would have been awkward. We didn't want that on our wedding day. We considered eloping but that didn't feel right either so we just waited."

"Oh, I feel awful." Donna groaned, covering her face with her hands. "I would have understood if you went with a different maid of honor really."

Rachel looked utterly offended. "Have you hit your head? The past few years may not have been ideal but you are still my best friend." Tears welled up in Donna's eyes when Rachel continued. "Which is why I want you to be," she choked up, fanning her face with her hands, "this baby's godmother."

"I would love nothing more," Donna cried out as she fell into Rachel's arms, both of them sobbing loud.

…

A few hours later Donna had taken Rachel to the San Diego waterfront to see the Pacific Ocean. Strolling along the Mission Beach boardwalk, they chatted about anything and everything.

"Gosh, you just can't get this view on the East coast," Rachel mused.

"Plenty of beaches there too."

"Not framed with palm trees though."

"In Florida."

"Well, you have them thirty minutes from your house. Florida is a three-hour flight," Rachel laughed.

"Yeah well…" Donna sounded deflated.

"Alright, what is it?" Rachel steered Donna to the side out of the pedestrian flow.

Donna sighed, leaning against the ledge, staring out over the ocean. "I don't know. I'm about to finish my course in Business Management, my divorce is about to be finalized and therapy is helping me come to terms with that but—"

"But what?" Rachel prodded.

"I feel so far removed from my old self. I don't know how to get that back. I just don't know where to go from here."

"Well, it isn't weird to feel lost when you are getting a divorce. You need to give yourself time to mourn losing the future you thought you would have."

Donna raked a hand through her hair. The sea breeze blowing it in all kinds of directions. "Jack was offered to set up a new office in Chicago and he accepted, without consulting me. Or maybe after filing for divorce, I am no longer in a position to be consulted on these kinds of things."

"Don't be ridiculous. You have two children together."

Donna looked at Rachel from behind her sunglasses. "It's a great opportunity, he deserves it but it is moving the goalposts before the ink is dry on our parenting plan."

"What upsets you the most?"

"That he gets to live like a bachelor in a big city where I'm stuck in the desert trying to keep everything the same for our girls? No co-parenting, no easy drop-offs with an occasional family dinner maybe. It is up to me to make sure they keep seeing their grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins. I don't want to have to deal with my ex-in-laws on a regular basis." Donna grabbed the ledge and shook it out of frustration. "If I don't feel like screaming then I want to cry."

"But you do neither, to protect the girls," Rachel said. It was a statement, not a question. She looked at Donna. Both had their sunglasses on but a wordless conversation was held anyway.

"Now that being close to Jack isn't a requirement anymore, what do you want?"

A mocking sound escaped Donna's throat. "I'm in therapy to learn what I want so I couldn't tell you that."

Rachel pulled Donna back into the boardwalk traffic and proceeded to finally tell her the Mike in Vermont story. Donna snorted before she clutched her chest, laughing so loudly people were giving them funny looks. Rachel dug up a few more stories that she could finally share now that Harvey wasn't a forbidden subject until Donna asked her to stop because her abdomen hurt from howling so hard.

They claimed a table at the outdoor seating area of a bakery and ordered a freakshake with two straws.

Having eaten her way through a blueberry waffle, vanilla ice cream, and having slurped a good part of the blueberry shake, Rachel pushed the glass away.

"Please take this away from me. I think I just hyped my baby up on a sugar overload and gave it a brain freeze at the same time."

"That's what godmothers are for. Doing the dirty work for you." Donna pulled the glass closer. "I'll finish this."

Rachel chuckled. "That's something Harvey would say."

Donna nodded. "He would say that. How is—? You know what, no. Let's not do this right now." As she focused back on her shake, she missed her friend's soft sigh.

…

"Again Aunwy Rachel, again," Ella shrieked and Rachel happily obliged, soaring the little girl higher with each push of the swing.

"Ella, I don't know you to be so demanding. Bossing someone around is more the style of this one." Donna, who was leaning against the wooden framework of the swingset, gave a subtle nod to Aubrey.

Rachel chuckled. "I don't mind, it's good practice anyway."

"Is your baby going to live in New York too?" Aubrey questioned.

Both women laughed.

"Yes the baby will live with me and Uncle Mike," Rachel explained, giving Ella another push.

"I'm so jealous," Aubrey sighed honestly from her seat. She was able to set the swing in motion herself and was flying high above them.

"Why is that?" her mother asked.

"I want to live in New York, too."

Rachel jumped on this opportunity. "What do you like about New York?"

"They have three zoos. Three!" Aubrey held up her little fingers. "We only have one."

"Both hands, young lady." Donna eyed her daughter sternly.

Her daughter wasn't finished. "If your feet are tired you can get a yellow taxi. And they have a Lego and M&M's store." Aubrey's tone made it clear she didn't understand why Rachel didn't think of this herself.

"Yes, an M&M's store, who can resist that?" Rachel grinned at Donna. Turning to Aubrey she said, "You'll have to come with your mom to meet the baby then." She gave Ella another push and then stepped aside.

"But that is like ages away. Why can't we go now?" Aubrey moaned.

Rachel eyed Donna. "Yes mom, why can't you go now?" A wide smirk on her face.

Donna's eyes shot daggers in Rachel's direction. She pushed herself off the wooden frame and whispered to Rachel, "I'm not ready to face Harvey yet."

Rachel squinted at her. "You do know he's going to be the godfather?"

Donna sighed. "I figured as much," she mumbled.

"Why is the man that found me at the market your baby's godfather?" Aubrey bellowed from up in the sky.

Rachel snorted as Donna closed her eyes with a sigh. "Lord, give me strength," she muttered.

"He's a friend of Uncle Mike and me," Rachel explained. "Your mom too, they have been very good friends for a long time," she added while Donna slapped her arm.

"I hate you," the redhead mouthed to her friend.

"How did you meet Harvey, mom?" Aubrey had come to a halt and eyed her questioningly.

"I can't believe you ratted me out like that," Donna whispered as Rachel scuttled past her to push Ella once more. "She'll never let this go."

Donna gave her daughter a smile. "We used to work together. But it's a long story really."

"I've got time," Aubrey quipped as she set off to soar in the air once more.

"How is she just almost five?" Rachel shook her head, laughing at Donna.

Donna shrugged. "She's five going on seventy, alright." She clapped her hands. "Let's go girls. Lunch at Okawa and then dropping Aunt Rachel off at the airport."

…

Donna was weaving through the pre-rush hour traffic, while rummaging in the center console for a bit of gum when Aubrey announced, "I think you should set my mom and Harvey up on a date, Aunty Rachel."

The car swerved dangerously to the side as Donna shrieked, "Excuse me?" She abandoned the gum search and clasped her hand tightly around the wheel, determined to stay in her lane.

"You've been sad since daddy doesn't live with us anymore. Harvey made you smile at the airport."

Donna looked into the rearview mirror and met the innocent eyes of her daughter. She swallowed a lump.

"You don't fool this one," Rachel said in hushed tones. "Wonder who she got that from."

Deciding to ignore the brunette, Donna shifted her focus back to Aubrey. "You are four years old, little miss. What do you know about dating?"

Aubrey shrugged. "Daniel and I watched Parent Trap the other day. He explained it to me."

"Your nine-year-old cousin explained it to you. Right." Donna ran a hand through her hair as they waited for a traffic light. She looked at Rachel but she was just staring back at her with wide eyes and a clueless look.

"So?" Aubrey questioned from the back seat.

Rachel cleared her throat. "I don't think it is such a good idea, sweetheart." She turned slightly to look over her shoulder.

Aubrey jutted her chin forward stubbornly. "Why not?"

"Well—" Rachel coughed a bit and cleared her throat again. "Harvey is already dating someone else."

Aubrey pouted. "Well that's unfortunate," she said at the same time as the lights turned green and Donna pressed the gas pedal a bit too hard.

They skidded down the street with screeching tires as Donna mumbled, "Sorry, sorry."

The next turn was the airport entrance and both Donna and Rachel were relieved when the car came to a halt in front of the departures terminal.

Rachel said goodbye to the girls as Donna pulled the suitcase out of the back.

When Rachel straightened up and closed the door on Aubrey's chattering, she was staring into Donna's icy gaze.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Donna said. Her tone of voice full of accusation.

Rachel sighed and bit her lip hard. "You didn't want to do this, you didn't want to talk about him." There was a small pause. "Again."

Donna crossed her arms with narrowing eyes, opening her mouth to criticize but was stopped short. Rachel wasn't finished talking.

"It's been five years of us trying to maintain a friendship while we don't mention he who shall not be named. Mike and I put off a wedding because I couldn't stand the thought of you being unhappy or not even showing at all on my happiest day."

Donna wanted to argue but instead poked her tongue against her cheek and exhaled loudly. She glanced quickly into the car but Ella and Aubrey seemed to be singing The Wheels on the Bus, including all the gestures and were oblivious to the heavy conversation outside.

"Are you even planning on coming to New York for my baby because I just know you will do everything to avoid him when it comes down to it. And for what? Because last time I checked this man became everything you wanted him to be and offered you the world and you turned him down. I get why you left back then and I get why you needed time to properly end your marriage and think of the girls, but you again go about as if he is Lord Voldemort himself, not speaking of him and it makes me wonder. How much of this is really for the girls and how much is you still running away?"

Rachel dug up her passport from the bottom of her bag and tugged the zipper close with more force than needed. Her face scrunched up then relaxed as she tried to stay calm.

Shuffling her feet, Donna lowered her gaze. Her pale complexion looked even paler at the words of her friend. They were harsh but not too far from the truth. The true extent of what her actions had done for their friendship hit her like a freight train. She might have had a good reason to leave five years ago but everything after that had been her own doing.

She smoothed her skirt in an attempt to collect

herself but her chin still quivered as she spoke.

"I'm scared," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "Harvey has always been about giving an inch but never taking the whole mile in the past and I just can't risk my girls' happiness on a man I can't fully trust to stay around." She chewed on her lip. "I just can't."

Rachel placed her passport on top of the car and grabbed the coat that was draped over her arm. Shrugging into it, she contemplated her next words. "He's serious about this woman, Donna."

The redhead's shoulders drooped and she swallowed hard. She wanted Rachel to stop talking but at the same time she needed all the details.

"I'm not really sure if his heart is entirely in it yet but he seems determined to make this work. That he can commit, be an emotionally involved partner. He wants to prove this to himself." Rachel's eyes swept over Donna's pale face. "And you," she added as an afterthought.

Reaching out her arm, Donna stabilized herself by holding onto her car. This was a blow she had not been expecting. Which was foolish because he wasn't going to sit around and pine away for her forever was he?

"I'm sorry." Rachel clutched the strap of her shoulder bag a bit tighter. "We never shied away from the hard truths back home but it is what we have been doing the last five years. It needs to stop. Otherwise what the hell are we doing?"

There was no other option for Donna than to nod.

"I just need some time to process this."

"I get that. Just call me when you have, please."

Swallowing a lump, a "will do" followed and Donna grabbed the passport off the car, thrusting it in Rachel's hands. The brunette looked a bit surprised at the urgency of this gesture.

"I already have visions of heading back onto the road, your passport flying into the air and me scrambling along the freeway dodging cars trying to catch it."

Rachel raised an eyebrow and offered a bemused smile. "Vivid imagination much?"

At that moment Aubrey rolled down the window. "I think you should know I've exhausted my song repertoire and Ella is getting fussy. There's only so many times I can sing Baby Shark and be funny."

Rachel cocked her head. "Is she for real with that vocabulary?"

Donna approached the window and gave her daughters her phone. They were immediately engrossed in it and she stepped away from the car.

"Preschool isn't challenging enough for Aubrey, she gets bored and she riles up the entire class."

"I can see that."

"So we had her tested as suggested by her school. She needs a highly gifted program. It is more than elementary schools in the area can offer her."

Rachel's eyes widened. She hadn't heard any of this before.

"I know what you're gonna say. New York has options for Aubrey for sure."

Rachel put up her hands. "Your words, not mine. But it sounds like you could all benefit from a trip to the City." She leaned forward. "I really must go, I can't miss my flight." Hugging Donna close, she told her, "Please, let me be your friend in all the ways I can be and please be kind but honest to yourself and those two little munchkins."

With a quick tap on the window and a small wave, Rachel headed into the terminal, quickly blending into the sea of people.

Donna turned around, heaving a big sigh, muttering "I'll go book another hundred therapy appointments then" and then got into the car and drove her daughters home.