Shades Of Self Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Not even a little bit.

Wow, chapter 23! Let's keep them rolling!

Sorry I missed the update last month, and that this chapter is a little short. I've been going through some personal stuff, but I am continuing to write, and I wanted to make sure to get a chapter out for the end of April.

I had so many lovely comments for the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who read, and especially those who reviewed. You all made me feel so appreciated and you encourage me to keep writing! I've been having a stressful time during the last few months, as I'm sure everyone else is, and knowing that my writing is making people happy and excited to see the next chapter is wonderful. Thank you for sticking with me!

I won't keep blathering. Enjoy the chapter and see you at the bottom!

"What we once were will never be again. As we leave our old skins behind so we leave behind our childhood."

Coming of age saying for Maltists

Warnings:

Depression

Emotional/Mental manipulation

Ben being treated like a pet

Four Years Ago

"Repulsive." Vilgax leant forward slightly, the tips of his tentacles quivering in disgust. It was certainly true. Seen without the ice to blur its shape, separated from him only by the transparent cube it had been transferred to, the creature was a hodgepodge of different species seemingly fused into each other haphazardly. Its features were lopsided and bulged grotesquely. There was nothing visible of what Vilgax suspected had originally been a human.

Vilgax had instructed his subordinates on the station to take great care in thawing the creature, both because it could potentially be dangerous, and to avoid damage to its body. Most of the beings it had been fused with were hardy, and would not suffer much permanent damage from the freezing, but it was difficult to tell how stable its body was. Once dethawed, and while it was still unconscious, Vilgax had been able to do some more thorough scans and a few tests to try and gain some insight into its twisted genetics. He found himself wishing that he had told Atron to accompany him, but he managed on his own. He was able to confirm the traces the omnitrix had left, and a complete list of species it was composed of, but he couldn't be certain which of them had been its original form without more intrusive testing. He supposed he could always call on Atron for that later, if necessary.

Once he had found out all he could in the short time he had allowed himself, Vilgax had the creature enclosed in the sturdiest containment cube the station possessed. He set up a few other precautions just in case, but he didn't anticipate too many surprises, although it was undoubtably decently powerful.

Now, as he watched, the creature began to twitch, life slowly returning to the thawing limbs. The tail, likely from a Kineceleran, lashed reflexively. The mismatched eyes shot open and the creature groaned. Its Tetramand hand lifted and rubbed at its head as though soothing an ache. Suddenly the hand froze, the eyes narrowing angrily as they focused on Vilgax.

"What are you looking at, freak?" It's voice was slightly distorted, perhaps from the combination of mutations to its vocals.

"Apparently a fool," Vilgax growled back, feeling a spike of anger at the disrespect. His tentacles had tensed and they quivered slightly; a warning sign that any of his subordinates would have immediately taken terrified note of. "Mind your words, or do you not know to whom you speak?" he snapped.

The creature hauled itself up until it stood at its full height. Vilgax absently wondered how long it had been since the mutation that turned it into this. It seemed able to get around fairly well in spite of its differently sized limbs. It had also appeared to notice the transparent cube it was imprisoned in. The strange eyes flicked back and forth, noting that the barrier went all the way around. One step brought it to the wall, and it snarled and delivered a crushing blow to the transparency with its two upper arms. The cube absorbed the blow with nothing but a muffled thud, and Vilgax allowed his tentacles to twitch a little at the pathetic attempt. There was certainly a fair amount of power in the blow, but well below what the cube could comfortably handle. The warlord was feeling more in control now and his tentacles relaxed again.

"I don't care who you are, creep! Let me out of this thing!" The creature smashed at the glass again, this time with all four arms. It spat a blob of green goo, then lobbed a fireball into the mess. There was a muffled explosion, and the creature's close proximity knocked it backward into the table it had been lying on. It hauled itself up again almost at once, letting out an angry growl at the sight of the undamaged wall.

"No," Vilgax said evenly. He was mildly interested in explosion. It was a fairly powerful attack, and he wondered if it was something his pet could duplicate by switching rapidly between forms. He looked on for another minute at the creature's yells of rage and its renewed attack upon the wall. At least he was getting a look at the creature's capabilities. It seemed to possess abilities for most of the aliens that had been melded into it from the omnitrix, although he had yet to see any Galvan intelligence in that thick head. Just a thug, he supposed, although it was difficult to tell in such a short amount of time. At least it seemed fairly adept at using its abilities, though these did not seem to be as powerful as the beings they normally belonged to, or the replicas that the omnitrix had created.

The creature seemed to have tired itself out somewhat. It paused, leaning on the wall for support, muttering angrily under its breath. Finally, it raised burning eyes to Vilgax.

"I'm gonna get out of here, squid face, and when I do, I'll take you apart!"

Vilgax ignored the threat. He heard them rather frequently after all. His anger at the insults had also cooled now that the creature had been shown how impotent it was.

"You will be released when and if I choose," he said. Then the warlord turned his back on the barrage of insults, accompanied by a renewed assault upon the containment cube. The muffled pounding and furious voice were cut off a moment later as the door closed behind him.

The creature's temperament seemed rather unstable, and Vilgax had the feeling that it was more likely to be a foe than a friend of his little human. So much the better if that turned out to be correct, but he decided to leave off questioning the creature, or mentioning Ben to it for now. Let it stew for a while first. Perhaps it would be more willing to listen to him after a week or so, and after it had seen that it couldn't get out.

That also gave him some more time to decide how he should proceed. He made a mental note to send up some guards to transport the cube and its occupant back to Crito-Ah, and he supposed he should find out what to feed it. Atron would probably be able to figure that out from studying the scans he had already taken.

At least his business here was almost finished. He just needed to complete a few minor details, and to dole out some instructions, and then he would be able to return himself.

The hallway Ben stood in was familiar, though it felt emptier than usual.

He was still feeling slightly unsettled from his encounter with the insect alien. She had given him the creeps, and he didn't like the idea that she could come back at any time. Still, he was able to force the thoughts of her from his mind now that he had reached his destination.

The ornate stone door was closed this time. It was heavy, but unlocked, and slid open smoothly, if slowly, when Ben pushed. He looked into the darkened room within and felt a strange sense of isolation. Aside from the morning he had woken up here, he had never been in Vilgax's rooms without their occupant and they looked big and empty.

He took a few hesitant steps inside, and was slightly relieved when the crystals on the walls brightened in response. Lit up, the main room seemed even larger, and the setting sun glowed, red and malevolent, through the huge window. There was an austere feeling to the vacant chamber and the smooth, stone surfaces gleamed coldly. Ben crossed the room slowly, eyes darting around. He felt a little jumpy, as though Vilgax might appear at any minute, but the room was truly empty.

His eyes roved around the space, as though seeing it for the first time, and he noticed that the adjoining door was slightly ajar. Ben had not previously seen inside it, but he felt strangely compelled now to see what it contained, and he crossed to it slowly. Maybe he was still thinking about his encounter with Trisaara, but he felt he needed to make sure he was the only one here.

Ben steeled himself, pushing on the heavy stone, and the door opened further to reveal what was possibly Vilgax's sleeping chamber, although he had never seen the alien sleep. The room didn't really look like a bedroom either. There was a large depression in the middle of the floor, with a jelly-like cushion lining it, and an array of strange tubes which seemed to feed into it. There was also a lingering dampness in the air here, more so than in the main room. If Vilgax didn't sleep in here, he certainly did something.

Ben didn't go inside. The fact that he hadn't seen this room before probably meant Vilgax didn't want him here, and although the alien was absent, there were probably security cameras or something. He shouldn't press his luck.

Back in the main room, Ben made himself comfortable on the leathery couch. This was where he usually sat after all, and it gave him a good view of the pond outside the huge window. It was a little colder here than his own room, although there was no mist in the air this evening, and he snuggled into one of the couch arms, tucking himself into a little ball. He watched the sunset through the window as the colours darkened from oranges to reds and finally started fading into blues and grays, and his thoughts wandered. Then, as often happened when he was alone for too long, Ben's thoughts drifted unwillingly back to earth.

Earth.

It would be so much easier if he could stop thinking about it; stop torturing his mind with thoughts of home, of his school and the arcade he liked to go to, of aunts and uncles and cousins he didn't even like, of Grandpa Max and Gwen, and…his mum and dad.

What were his parents doing now, at this moment? He tried to picture them at home; his dad walking Ferdinand or working on a plan for his next catering job, his mum coming home late from the office or meeting with her book club. The picture formed, but fuzzily. He had barely spent any time with them when he got home from his trip. He had been too busy bemoaning the end of his summer, and worrying about school in the morning. The time had gone in a flash, although he hadn't thought of it that way at the time. It was only a day later when he was whisked away from his home, his family and his whole planet. How had their routine changed since he'd been gone? He didn't even know exactly how long it had been since his capture. He hadn't been able to keep track of the time, but he thought it had to have been almost a month, and wasn't that a staggering thought.

His parents must believe he was dead. Everyone would.

It was strange to sit here and to be relatively alright, and to know that his family believed he was dead. It left a hollow feeling inside him, deep down at his very core, as though something was eating out his insides, but oddly he didn't cry.

They thought he was dead.

Maybe it would be better for them that way. They could grieve for him and move on, and they wouldn't have to hold onto the hope that he would one day return; the hope he couldn't quite let go of.

Ben sighed at the morbid thought and snuggled a little deeper into the leathery cushions. He couldn't picture being here forever, but it was getting equally difficult to picture himself returning home. He wanted it, so so much, but he could no longer imagine how it would happen. He couldn't escape from here; he knew that now, not without help, and help would not be coming. He was stuck here for as long as his captor, no, his master wanted. At least until he was able to get his collar off.

Ben shifted position again, restlessly. He wished he had something to distract himself; a game or a book; anything to occupy is mind. He hated being alone here with only his thoughts for company.

This day had been so long. What he'd really like to do was go to sleep, but he didn't want to go back to his room, although he supposed he didn't have to. I could sleep here, I guess. He glanced around again. That thought wasn't terrible. Maybe being out of his stifling room would help him to fall asleep. He had made it through the day, long and lonely as it had been, and tomorrow…

Vilgax will be back tomorrow.

Ben grimaced slightly, not liking the small splash of relief he felt at the thought. It wasn't that he wanted Vilgax to be here with him. He didn't want to be here at all, and certainly not with his overbearing, controlling captor who was treating him more like a lapdog every day. Ben sighed, running his fingers through his hair distractedly. He didn't want to be here, but there was nothing he could do about that, and while he didn't have a choice, was it so bad that he didn't want to be alone?

He let his eyes trail around the alien's room again and exhaled slowly. He wrapped thin arms around himself and rested his head against the cushions at his back. He would deal with tomorrow when it came. Unconsciously, Ben's gaze returned to the big window.

It was very late planetside when Vilgax arrived back at Conqueror's Landing, so late that both suns had long since slipped below the horizon. It was raining outside, but lightly, and the cool water was soothing on his dry skin. He headed away from the landing pad and took the shortest path to his rooms, walking quickly and responding absently to the respectful greetings of those he passed. He was wholly focused on getting to the peaceful solitude of his room. It had been a worthwhile trip, and would certainly prove valuable in the long run, but it had also been exhausting, and he was looking forward to the night's rest. There was a substantial amount of work he needed to catch up on, but that could wait until tomorrow. At least he had been able to return somewhat earlier than expected.

As for his prisoner, it was safely contained. After spending a scant amount of time in the creature's company, Vilgax had been ready to end its miserable existence. He did not enjoy being treated with disrespect, but this was too good an opportunity to pass up. After all, it was likely that it was one of Ben's former enemies, and it would serve as an excellent lesson for his pet when the time came. Unfortunately, Ben wasn't yet ready for that kind of test, so his prisoner would live for a while longer.

At the thought of the young human Vilgax paused for a moment, then continued towards his rooms. It was very late, and Ben was doubtless already asleep, and he himself was very tired. It would be better to wait until morning to see him. The boy was probably getting a little restless again from being unable to use the omnitrix, and Vilgax made a mental note to have an extra-long training session for him tomorrow.

Lost in his musings, the Warlord pushed open his door, gesturing absently for the mist machine to activate. He turned towards his rest chamber automatically, intending to relax in the moist air for a while before he slept, but halted suddenly as something unusual registered at the edge of his vision. He turned back to the main room, gaze trailing over the lounger, and felt a trickle of unexpected pleasure. He was suddenly very glad that he had returned this evening instead of sleeping on the station.

As quietly as possible, Vilgax approached the lounger. Ben was asleep, curled up into a little ball and snuggled into the corner of the cushions. The warlord was struck afresh by the sight of him; so small and young and vulnerable. Vilgax had not expected to find the boy here, sleeping in his room. The thought had never crossed his mind. He had assumed the human would stay holed up in his room. His tentacles rippled gently in his pleasure that Ben had chosen to sleep here, even with him gone. His pet couldn't be…missing him, could he? No. Vilgax dismissed the thought with a flick of a tentacle. It was still too early for that. It would doubtless take a great deal more conditioning before Ben started to enjoy his company. More likely Ben had just been feeling cooped up and had come here because it was the only other place he was allowed to go by himself.

However, regardless of the reason, Vilgax's tentacle tips still waved happily. It was always pleasant to watch Ben when he was sleeping. It was when the human was at his most relaxed. Occasionally Vilgax had gone to the boy's room to observe him while he was sleeping, although he had been careful not to wake the boy. This was the first time Ben had fallen asleep in his rooms, excepting the time he had cried himself to sleep. Tonight, he looked considerably more peaceful. Ben's hair was mussed, his head tilted to the side. His mouth was curled into a small smile and his eyes shifted under their lids as though he was in the middle of an agreeable dream. His breaths were deep and even.

Very slowly, very gently, Vilgax lowered himself onto the cushions next to the sleeping boy. He was already feeling slightly rejuvenated from the gentle mist and from the sight of his unexpected visitor. Moving as quietly as he could, the Zithsian reached over with one hand and carefully stroked Ben's cheek. Ben did not stir, and Vilgax moved to run his claws through the boy's soft, brown hair. He felt contentment spread through him, and settled more comfortably on the lounger.

What a perfect end to his evening.

Ben stirred.

He felt warm and comfortable, and his mind was pleasantly detached; still caught up in a whisp of his dream. He couldn't remember what it had been about, only that it had left him feeling peaceful and happy. He snuggled more deeply into the leathery cushion beneath him, feeling too contented to want to wake up yet. Still, he found himself unwillingly rousing, and as he did so, he became aware a dampness in the air, and of a presence next to him. At first it was comforting to know there was someone there beside him, to not be alone. Something touched his head gently and it felt like those times when he had been sick and asleep, when his mother had come in to see how he was doing. He half smiled sleepily and cracked his eyes open.

Ben froze, stiffening reflexively.

No. No, no no no no!

Vilgax was looming over him. The hand which had been petting him paused at his stiffening, as though the alien was waiting to see whether he would pull away. Ben didn't move, though even he wasn't sure why. His heart was beating frantically from the shock, and a large part of him wanted to scramble off the couch, and away from the hand and alien it belonged to, and yet he didn't.

What would Vilgax do if he tried to get away? Ben didn't think the alien would hurt him. If nothing else, Vilgax had shown no interest in punishing Ben physically. Most of Ben's current fears surrounding his captor stemmed from what Vilgax was trying to force him into becoming, and from his own inability to escape or resist. Vilgax was like a solid wall that moved in only one direction, and Ben had to move with it or be pushed along. If Ben pulled away, it was more likely that Vilgax would order him to stay, or he might take it as an act of rebellion and withdraw some of the 'privileges' he had granted; his food or his window, or maybe even some training time.

And yet, none of these were the reason why Ben was still lying on the couch, why he made no attempt to move away.

Whatever Ben tried to do, and whatever his captor's response was, his situation wasn't going to change. He would still be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and as many more days as he could imagine. Besides, even if he was able to get away from Vilgax for tonight he couldn't escape from here, couldn't go home; he would have nowhere to go but back to his room and then he'd be alone again. He…didn't want to be alone.

Vilgax had begun to stroke his head again as Ben relaxed, and as much as Ben didn't want this, it was soothing. It felt nice to have someone there. It felt nice to be close to someone, even if that someone was the reason he was so lonely and afraid.

It felt like he wasn't alone.

Thanks for reading!

Looks like it will be a little while before Ben finds out about Kevin. We have a few things to do first. And I may be wrong, but from what I could find, Kevin didn't actually learn about Vilgax until after "Grudge Match", so I think it makes sense for him not to know about him in my story, what with the altered cannon and all. It did my best writing for original series Kevin. I've never written for him before, and it was hard! I hope I did a decent job.

And yeah, those times Ben woke up and felt like someone was in his room it was Vilgax. It's happened a few times through the story. He came in to cover Ben up or just to watch him sleep. Loooots of fun.

Next chapter will probably go back to the present day for a bit. Present day Ben has some things to think about.

Next update will be "Anniversary", "Best Friends Since Pre-K" or another chapter for "Shades Of Self".