Maybe This Time
Chapter 11
.
.
They tried, but somethin' kept them
Waiting for this magic moment, oh
.
.
Donna's posture went rigid at Harvey's words. She was about to cross the threshold and needed to grab the doorframe to steady herself. She slowly turned around, her eyes wide, her skin tingling.
Harvey was still at the bottom of the stairs.
"What about Emily?" Donna asked in a high-pitched voice.
Harvey climbed one step.
"I ended it."
Donna did a double-take to check if she heard him correctly. Her breath hitched as she clutched her throat.
"When?"
Harvey climbed another step.
"The other day, when you visited the office."
Donna's cheeks and neck flushed red. Nothing happened between them and he still broke up with her? Her heart filled with hope.
"She is a blonde and I have a thing for redheads, you see?" A smirk played on his lips.
"Harvey!" She couldn't quite hide the giddiness in her voice.
He climbed another step as she descended one.
"I do come with two little girls. Full Time, no breaks from parenthood most of the time." She bit her lip, hesitating to approach, gauging Harvey's reaction.
Harvey let out a whistle. "That's a lot."
Donna nodded warily but Harvey puffed out his chest, saying, "Good thing I bought that brownstone then," with a tilt of his head in the direction of the one that used to be on sale.
Donna's hand flew to her mouth.
"It was still on sale this morning," she whispered.
"I came, I saw, I bought," Harvey joked. "When I was the last to find out you got divorced," he added sternly.
"I thought you knew."
Harvey shook his head. "Yeah, we might have put our friends in another impossible situation. We really should stop doing that."
"We really should," Donna agreed, descending another step.
She was now just one step higher than Harvey, looking him straight in the eyes.
"I need you to be sure. If my children let you in, you need to stick around."
"If you promise to stay, I promise to never leave," Harvey said softly, grabbing her hand. With his other hand, he gently traced her eyebrow and mouth with his thumb. "No more running in the wrong direction. You run to me."
Donna nodded when a squeak pierced the air. On their right, a window cracked open. "Kiss her already!" she heard her eldest yell.
"This is what you sign up for," Donna muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Gladly," Harvey mumbled, leaning forward, cupping her face with both hands.
And then their lips met and he kissed her, just as he had been told to do. Slowly, gently. And she kissed him back.
Aubrey and Rachel cheered, Mike wolf-whistled but the world had fallen away and Harvey deepened the kiss, faster, more passionately.
He smiled while tugging on Donna's bottom lip, hearing the window close. He was going to hold himself back, a lot in the vicinity of two young children, but not right now.
They eventually came up for air, staring into each other's eyes, wearing goofy smiles.
Donna released one hand from his neck, slapping his chest softly.
"You bought a house."
"I did."
"I told you not to."
"Your girls approve of it?"
Harvey pulled her close and stole another kiss.
Donna leaned back, looking into his brown eyes. This wasn't a joke to her.
"I can't be dependent again."
Harvey frowned.
"What's wrong with being dependent on someone who loves you with everything he has?"
Confessing his love didn't have the desired effect he was hoping for.
"Emotionally yes, but I need to teach my girls women can hold their own in a man's world."
"If I remember correctly, I signed off on a pretty nice salary with a pretty nice signing bonus attached."
Donna fiddled with the lapels of Harvey's coat.
"Well, that is all favoritism, right? It needs to stop."
Harvey lifted her chin to make her look at him.
"Louis negotiated this with you. And yes while he is your friend who wants you around, he is a cheapskate even more. He has our books on a tight leash. He wouldn't pay you a nickel more than you are worth."
Donna wrinkled her nose but before she could open her mouth, Harvey continued.
"And I hired you because you earned this promotion years ago but I was too selfish to negotiate that for you with Jessica."
He pressed his lips to her mouth.
"You earned this," he murmured. "And you can pay all the bills, and you can put up the equity of your Californian home, we'll get your name notarized as official owner of the house too, we will show your girls we are equal."
A lump formed in Donna's throat. He really fixed himself to be the whole package.
"I just signed a lease for six months," she confessed quietly.
"Good," Harvey said to her surprise. "The house needs renovating, so six months will give us just enough time to all get used to this situation and for everyone to pick out unicorn wallpaper and the painters to paint all the walls pink."
"Did you just say you love me?" Donna threw her arms around his neck, circling back to his earlier confession.
"Why yes, I think I did," he beamed brightly.
"You must if you are talking about unicorns and rainbows and glitter. Because it will be a pink glittery world from now on, Harvey Specter."
He kissed her fiercely. "Anything for my girls," he whispered. "Now, let's meet our new neighbors." And he pulled her inside the Ross mansion.
…
Donna was just about to hang up when a dark screen on the other side appeared. A light switched on and Harvey's tired face came into view.
"Hi," he said sleepily with a goofy smile.
"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I've been so busy with Ella tonight, I didn't realize the time."
She glanced at the clock. It was 11 pm which meant it was 2 am at Harvey's.
"How is Ella?"
"Finally asleep. I gave her another suppository, rubbed her gums with teething gel, walked about a hundred laps in the living room, and was able to lie her down in my bed."
"Those final molars are a bitch."
"Sure are." Donna ran an exhausted hand through her hair.
"I'm sorry I'm not there to help you."
"Well, I'm sorry I woke you at, what I now worked out is 2 am."
Harvey shrugged. "You are my favorite reason to lose sleep."
Donna's cheeks flushed.
After dinner at Casa Ross, Harvey had accompanied her and the kids back to the hotel. But they had said goodbye at the door and the next day he had given them a ride to the airport but more than a few stolen kisses hadn't been in the cards.
They phoned and texted every day since. Harvey was very open about his feelings and it was such a new revelation that she still wasn't used to it.
"Donna Paulsen you go crimson every time I tell you something that remotely resembles I love you."
Harvey's face sported a jutting chin and huge smirk.
Donna scrunched up her nose and bit at a fingernail. "I still can't believe it. 'Love me how' seems only yesterday and at the same time I have been married, gave birth to two kids, got divorced, am packing up my life to move across coasts for the second time and you're telling me the sweetest things every day, you're looking forward to sharing your life with my two girls, it all still feels surreal."
Donna had propped the phone up against a vase on her table and was gesturing wildly with her hands as she spoke.
"You are rambling," Harvey observed with a bemused look, "because you are nervous."
"So?"
"I like that I can still do that seventeen years later."
Donna bit her lip, fiddling with the buttons of her cardigan.
"What can I do to make this more real? Finally, answer that love me how question?"
Donna aimed to make her shrug look careless but her face told Harvey enough.
"The day I met you, you sent my neat little world plummeting into the ocean."
Donna raised her eyebrows but kept quiet.
"I thought I had it all figured out. I would focus on a career, have the occasional morning meeting and that would be enough. I would not go down the same path as my dad and get the door slammed in my face later."
Harvey let out a low chuckle.
"Turns out love at first sight absolutely exists. I just didn't want to acknowledge it because if I was wrong about that, what else had I been wrong about?"
Donna's face softened. She knew what he meant. If his mindset had been wrong, he would have had to deal with his mom and he was nowhere near ready for that when their paths crossed.
"I may have been unwilling to admit how I feel about you but Donna you are home. Loving you is like coming home. You make me the most me I can possibly be. You saw me long before I did. I needed to lose you to love me."
Tears welled up in Donna's eyes. He had always been enough but he finally believed it himself. It had been a long journey for him but here he was, showing up, just like she always knew he could.
"And now that I love me, I can very much love you. And Ella and Aubrey."
Donna's chest hitched, an uncontrollable sob escaped.
"I needed to lose you to find me again as well," she whispered in a shaky voice.
"Have you found it?" he replied huskily.
Donna nodded. "I think so. I've been so adamant that I needed to find me without you that I failed to realize that you became such an integral part of my life that I feel me with you."
She paused and mulled over her next words.
"You once said 'I can't be me without you'."
Harvey's eyes sparkled as he remembered the conversation clearly.
"And I think the same applies to me. Your unwavering faith, support, and behind-the-scenes love lifted me up to strut around the office believing I was, am, capable of more and I can tackle the corporate world. You are the part that's been missing. And I've been running from it for years."
"Because it's too big a thing looming over you if you can't actually be with the person that makes you feel whole?" Harvey's eyes had softened.
Donna wasn't capable of much more than hiccuping a "yes."
"You are going to think I'm crazy for this but I think you leaving at the time is the best thing you could have done for us."
Donna's mouth fell open, as she sniffled and wiped her eyes.
"Because the blurry lines weren't helping us. If anything they kept us from moving forward. Separate and together."
Donna tipped her head to the side processing his words. Harvey was unwavering in his posture.
"So if you were to ask me why now, where have you been before? I'd see lost roads, dark corners, heavy work, heartbreak, and a lot of healing. And I'd say we've both been on our way here."
"To find a road that brings us together."
"Does this answer your question, love?" Harvey asked tentatively.
Donna swallowed a lump. "You are the whole nine yards, mister. If you keep up all these sweet words I'm going to be in a constant state of blubbering mess."
Harvey's eyes glimmered. "I can't wait to make you at a loss for words all the time. I finally found your soft spot."
"You always were my soft spot," she confessed quietly. "And now that I can finally kiss you, you are three thousand miles away."
"I know!" Harvey gave her a yearning look. "I'm jealous of everyone there that gets to see you every day. Only five more days according to my countdown app."
"Because otherwise, you would forget?" Donna snorted.
"No, I kept calculating how many more days and hours in my head like every two minutes. Now I just glance at the app every two minutes and maybe get some work done in between."
Harvey's face sported a beaming smile. Donna had a glowing expression.
Only five days, fourteen hours, and twenty-three minutes to go.
…
Donna was pushing a heavy-loaded luggage trolly past border control, towards the exit. Aubrey and Ella were sitting on top of a stack of suitcases, each holding a backpack. Donna had one on her back as well and she dragged along a folded stroller. Moving across the country with two little ones was no picnic.
Jack hadn't been thrilled. Even though New York was closer to Chicago, he objected that she was taking the girls away from the only home they had known, away from their family they always had nearby.
She had explained in detail that he had left the state first and it was unfair to expect her to hang around his family when he himself didn't even stay. It was time to be close to her own family and friends. Plus enrolling Aubrey in a gifted program. Of course, Jack knew he couldn't very well object to any of it since he put her in the position of living in a state she had no emotional ties with. And Donna hadn't fought him on following his own dream.
So he had agreed with her relocation, they had rewritten their custody agreement again and a judge had signed off on it. The whole process had taken longer than expected but fortunately, her new boss was very understanding and allowed her to push back her starting date.
But she was finally here. Excitement and fear had been building up in equal amounts the past few weeks but right now she was just flustered and tired after hauling three lives on an airplane and a moving van that was due to arrive later this afternoon at their new apartment.
She scolded Aubrey to sit still, in fear of toppling over the whole cart, as she jostled them through the sliding doors.
And then he was there. In the sea of people waiting at the exit, her eyes landed on him immediately. He was holding three helium balloons in one hand and a sign in his other.
He had spotted her too and as they made eye contact a silly grin appeared on his face. He raised the sign a bit higher as her eyes flew along the lines.
This better be the last time I pick you up here.
Welcome home!
She tilted her head slightly and let out a content sigh. Her shoulders drooped and her posture relaxed and it was his cue to move.
He was met by a chorus of "Harvey, Hawey." His face lit up as the children greeted him. Donna felt a flutter in her stomach. He handed Ella a round purple balloon.
"Peppa!" The youngest hugged the balloon.
Aubrey received a pink one with a Frozen image on it.
"Anna," Aubrey said delightedly. "You picked the right one Harvey. Do you know why Anna is so much better than Elsa?"
"I don't and I wanna hear all about it in the car but," Harvey bowed closer to the girls, "right now I am going to kiss your mom okay?" he whispered.
Aubrey giggled, nodding her head.
Donna's cheeks were flushing pink already when Harvey straightened up, thrusting forward the remaining balloon, heart-shaped.
She giddily accepted. "You are wearing your striped suit," she observed as her eyes roamed his body.
He came straight from the office. Only forgoing his jacket he was standing in front of her wearing black suit pants, his signature monogrammed white dress shirt, and a vest. The black had a very subtle stripe in it, only visible when taken in from up close.
"I only wear it when I have something personal to—," Harvey started hoarsely.
"Celebrate," they finished in unison.
"And your very loud tie." Donna fingered the item, the balloon obscuring Harvey's view. She had bought the tie for him many moons ago.
"Haven't worn it in five years but today seemed like an appropriate day," he told her, pushing the balloon out of the way, lowering his head, and trapping her lips against his mouth. He kissed her with passion, love, and affection, his hands cupping her face.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered as his warm breath tickled in her ear. "'The other time' is the only thing that got me through these weeks apart. I hope you arranged for them to stay more than one night at Mike and Rachel because there won't be any unpacking happening today."
Donna's cheeks and neck flushed bright pink. Her whole body tingled.
"It's been a long time since then. I've had two children. I'm not sure I can compete with my former—"
Harvey kissed her again, brushing his lips gently but fiercely against hers, silencing her as he murmured. "I love you."
She closed her eyes and hid her face in his chest. "I love you too," she whispered.
He wrapped his arms around her. "Welcome home, Babe, welcome home."
Harvey pushed the luggage trolley through the exit doors when Aubrey piped up, "What's 'the other time'?"
A/N: And just like that we've come to the end of this story. I will write an epilogue. But until then I want to thank each and everyone of you that went on another journey with me in this AU setting of our beloved characters. I never thought I'd write a sequel, never mind an eleven chapters long multi but wow. This is solely due to all of your wonderful reviews and love for this story. The rest of it is thanks to my beloved, amazing beta Stef, my biggest fan. Please let me know what you think one more time. Again thank you for everyone that read and reviewed my first multi chapter. It's been an honor.