A/N: Sorry it's been a little while since the last update. I've been busy reading fanfictions and not writing any lol. But there's going to be about 14 chapters and then a brief epilogue. This is chapter ten. Thanks for reading!

Chapter Ten

July 28, 1914

Two months had passed since she lost the baby, and Anna couldn't help but think about how she would be starting to show if she was still pregnant. One one hand, she did feel slightly glad that she wouldn't have a visual reminder of the man who hurt her around, but on the other hand, she had longed to give Ellie a playmate. She wanted to watch two children run around in the garden and play with Mary. She wanted to go through labor with Mary at her side. But she knew now that would never happen. She had to become content with only one child in her life, a task that was made easier by how much she loved Ellie. When she was a maid, she had known that in all likelihood she would never marry or become a mum. Anna thought about this and decided that she should consider herself lucky that she was a mum, even if not a biological mother, to the most kind and loving little girl in the world.

She shook herself from her thoughts and smiled over at her daughter, who was sitting on the sofa playing dollies with Mary. She rose from her seat and poured some lemonade into glasses and brought them over to her wife and daughter. "I hate to interrupt your game, my darlings, but I thought you might be thirsty." she said as she set down the cups on the coffee table.

"Tank you, Anna mummy." Ellie said as she set her doll down and picked up the cup.

"Yes, thank you, darling." Mary said. "How are you feeling today?" she asked softly, knowing Anna had still been feeling rather glum over the miscarriage.

"Much better, honestly." Anna admitted. "I've become rather content with the idea of our family being just the three of us. And I know Carter is watching over us and keeping us safe."

"Right you are," Mary gave Anna's hand a squeeze before taking a sip of lemonade. "I'm sure they're as proud of you as I am. I love you." Mary leaned forward and gave her wife a gentle peck on the lips. The couple typically made an effort to only kiss in private since Ellie was still too young to keep a secret, so Mary was surprised when her wife deepened the kiss. They kissed languidly for a moment before breaking for air.

"I love you too." Anna said breathily. "I love you so very much."

August 8, 1914

By Ellie's third birthday, Anna was feeling the most like herself since the attack and was ready to celebrate with her family. She felt somewhat upset that she wouldn't be able to fully celebrate with her daughter since the world outside of Hawton House still saw her as a maid, but she was grateful to know there would be opportunities for private moments where she could take on a maternal role more openly. She stared out the window above the sink as she considered them, only breaking from her thoughts when she realized the toast she was preparing was beginning to burn. She put the piece at the bottom of the stack, knowing that piece would likely not be eaten as there were a lot of other offerings to be had. As she set the stack down on the table, she did not have time to become lost in the reverie of her mind again as Mary came in with Ellie on her hip.

"Hello my darlings," she greeted them with a bright smile. "My, my Ellie, aren't you the most pretty princess in all the land?"

"Yes, she certainly is," Mary cooed in agreement as she settled Ellie into her chair. "You insisted on the pink dress and red shoes, didn't you, darling?"

Ellie nodded. "I pwetty," she said with a hint of questioning in her voice.

"You are the prettiest little girl I've ever seen, darling." Anna assured her as she bent over and gave her a kiss on the nose. "Happy birthday, daring."

Ellie clapped her hands and gave Anna a kiss on the cheek. Anna smiled brightly and gave her a gentle cuddle in response before standing up fully and retrieving some plates so they could start dishing out their breakfast.

"Look darling, Anna made all your favorites." Mary said as she looked at the spread of toast, jam, berries, eggs, and porridge that Ellie loved and the bacon she had included for the two of them. She gave her wife an appreciative look and mouthed "I love you" before making a plate for her little girl.

Ellie clapped her hands and squealed excitedly as her plate was set down in front of her. Mary whispered something in her ear, and she looked up at Anna, "Tank you. Love you."

"You're welcome," Anna beamed with eyes full of unshed tears of joy threatening to spill over. "I love you too, Ellie."

The afternoon seemed to drag on for Anna as she sat mending some of her wife and daughter's clothes. She knew the time probably seemed to be whizzing by to Ellie and Mary as they gathered at Downton to celebrate with Mary's family. She hoped their little girl was having the time of her life, but she also hoped Ellie wouldn't be too worn out to open her presents when she came home. Anna longed to see her again, even though it hadn't been too long since their lovely birthday breakfast.

Mary was happy watching her daughter play with Sybil, Edith, and Matthew. Edith was pregnant and seemed to adore her niece even more than usual, which made Mary incredibly happy. She was glad Ellie had so many loving women around her between her sisters, Anna, and Isobel. She had encouraged Anna to come along to the party at first because she meant it when she said they were equals. Ultimately, however, to the rest of the world, her lady's maid participating in her daughter's birthday celebration would be highly irregular, so for their protection they had to do whatever would result in the least amount of questions from others, which in this case meant Anna wouldn't come to the party. When it was time for cake, she had the whole family squeeze in around the table and get a photo taken. This way Ellie, Anna, and herself would all have something to remember this special day by. Today was likely to be the last moment of sheer happiness for a while. There was a war on now, so they had to savor the happy moments when they came along.

When Ellie and Mary returned from the party, the little girl was indeed worn out. However, she brightened at the sight of shiny gifts on the sofa. "Hello darling. Did you have a nice party?" Anna asked her.

Ellie nodded. "Yes!" Then she pointed at the couch and asked, "Pwesents for me?"

Anna laughed. "Yes, those are for you sweetpea. Go sit on the couch with Mama and we'll open them."

Once they were settled on the sofa as a family, Thomas approached them with his gift first. He wanted to give it to her and then head off to the pub so they could have some quiet family time. "Here you go, Miss Ellie," he said with a smile as he handed her a brown paper bag tied off with a pink ribbon. She happily took it and opened it with a little help from Mary untying the bow and squealed at the sight of candy in the bag. Mary said her thanks to Thomas and encouraged her daughter to do the same as she put the bag off to the side to save the treat for another day.

Thomas took his leave, and Anna handed Ellie a silver gift bag. She gladly took it and opened it with a smile. "Tank you, Anna mummy!" she said as she pulled out the tutu Anna had made for her.

"You're welcome, my love." Anna smiled at her and kissed her cheek. "You're such a big girl now. I thought you deserved a special tutu to play in instead of tying that tiny baby blanket around your waist."

"Yes, you're so big now my darling." Mary echoed the sentiment. Then, she presented her daughter with her final present, a box with gold wrapping. The girl oohed and aahed at the small doll inside and expressed her thanks to her mother before letting out a big yawn.

"Someone's getting sleepy." Anna commented with a smile. "Let's get you a small snack and then it's into bed for you."

She went with Mary into the kitchen to get some milk and a tiny finger sandwich for their daughter while Ellie rested on the sofa. "She really is growing so fast, Mary."

"I know. Sometimes I just want to stop time and keep her this little forever. But then I also want her to grow and gain her independence too, and I know I can't have it both ways."

"That you cannot," Anna agreed with a small chuckle. "Just treasure this time with her now. It's going to go by fast."

"It already has. I can't believe it's been three years since I brought her into this world."

"Me either. They have been the three best years of my life, though."

"Mine too." Mary smiled. "In three years, I've gained a daughter, lost a husband, and gained a wife. A lot has happened, and I'm grateful you've been part of it all."

"Me too. I'm glad we had each other through the ups and downs."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Once they had settled Ellie into bed, they made their way into their own room and quickly got into their nightclothes. Anna gave her wife a saucy smile, "Oh my love, you look stunning."

"Thank you. So do you, darling." Mary leaned in and kissed her wife's temple.

Anna took Mary's hands within her own and gave them a gentle squeeze before pressing a gentle yet deep kiss to her lips. "Come to bed, love." she whispered on her wife's lips.

Once Anna had guided them to the bed and pulled Mary on top of her, Mary stilled her movements. She didn't want to do this unless she knew for certain her wife was comfortable. "Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't want you to relive things, unpleasant things, I mean."

"I'm quite sure. When I feel your hands on me, I know they're not his." Anna assured her. "I feel safe. And I feel loved."

"Alright. If at any point you want to stop, just say so."

But Anna didn't want to stop. She had longed for this for a while, and she was ready now. She wanted to be together again. And together they were, and they quite enjoyed it.

A/N: I know the idea of Anna never having children is a melancholy note to include, but sometimes that's just how life is. While I love Anna with all my heart and it hurts to write this, I think good writing reflects on all aspects of life, even the sad and somber ones. Hopefully y'all are okay with this. Thanks for reading!