Chapter 24: The Silver Trio
It is not the first time Cressida has watched the station go past and had no need to wave goodbye. But this time feels better. She feels stronger. Because it is her decision that nobody was there besides James' parents who dropped them off. She wonders if one day they'll regret it. Maybe not so much her father, but her mother might realise when she's older and Cressida isn't there.
Sirius and James had disappeared to discuss something with the Prewett twins. Something about Peeves they mention before leaving. Remus is keeping to himself, reading a book on some muggle topic that he received for Christmas and Peter is already asleep, leaning against the window with his face sticking to the glass. Cressida sits on the opposite side to them, closest to the window, silent and thinking.
They have their first game against Slytherin just a week after they return and having missed nearly fourth months of training, plus very little formal training over the summer holidays has left her with almost a year without anything to keep her skills in check. Cressida can't lie and say she's not at least a little bit nervous for it, especially against one of the dirtiest teams Slytherins have formed in many years. Maybe she could ask James for some extra sessions throughout the week. Maybe one on one isn't the best at the moment.
Just as that thought comes to her head, the said person, and his devilish companion saunter back into the compartment. Cressida prays that Sirius would take the spot next to her, but alas James contently flops down on the padded lounge with a jovial sigh.
Cressida shuffles slightly closer to the window, turning her head to watch England's land fly past.
"I gave Lily the book," James announces.
Remus marks the page on his book before closing it. "And how did that go?"
James grins proudly, his chest puffing out. "Remarkably well."
Remus' eyes shift to Sirius, almost asking for a factual recount instead of his friend's typical overly optimistic viewpoint. Sirius shrugs, folding his arms. "I'll give it to him," he says, "Evans said thank you and took it. A bit sceptical but can't blame her."
Cressida pins her eyes on Remus', trying to conclude if her suspicions are right. But to his credit, the sandy-haired boy gives nothing away but simple delight for his friend's achievement. "Thanks for the idea of a book," James says to Remus. She can see his face turn to look at her. His hand reaches over, grasping her knee in a casual gesture. "And thank you for the idea of a gift."
Cressida's throat bobs in a slow gulp. She forces a straight smile and nod, only glimpsing up at him for half a second before looking back out the window. The hand on her knee squeezes it once more before retreating to the owner's lap. A hot rush of blood pools in her cheeks; from both the touch and her frustration.
Another set of eyes are pinned on her. She tries to resist looking, very much aware of how open her face is to them, but paranoid about the unknown, Cressida looks forward to meet Remus' sharp gaze. Upon meeting it, the exchange only lasts a few seconds before he looks away on his own account.
Their conversation prattles on about nonsensical topics that she really cannot be bothered to keep track of. As the train jostles about naturally, she feels every motion – every brush against a body that isn't her own.
Out of desperation, she observes the other side of the compartment, but Peter's snoring figure against the window, his legs stretched out over the space she could have taken.
"I'll be back." Cressida pushes hastily off her seat, clambering over legs until she reaches the sliding door. Clammy fingers barely keep a strong hold of it, leaving it ajar after she leaves. The train's corridor comes with a breath of air that is finally free to take. Pausing just out of sight of the door's window, Cressida leans against the outer wall with a hand laying on her stomach.
But soon the openness brings a sense of vulnerability and her feet quickly take her down to the end of the carriage. Her shoulder barges into the bathroom door, its stark brightness almost blinding against her stinging eyes.
Each hand grips the outer edge of the white sink as Cressida slowly drags her eyes up to the mirror.
A blank face stares back at her, dark rims under her eyes and a violent dash of red splattering her cheeks unevenly.
The feeling should be nice. It should make her giddy and wriggle with excitement. It should make her stay up late at night daydreaming scenarios that would bring butterflies to her stomach. She should feel nothing but pure delight when he sits next to her. Touches her. Acknowledges her. Because that would mean he knows she exists.
Of course, James knows she exists. But she exists no different to Remus or Sirius or Peter. He won't realise what anything he does or says to her affects her any different than it would them. And usually that's the most thrilling part – the secret and whimsical feelings that you try to hide.
But it is a lot different when he's in love with another.
Xx
With sunken eyes and dry lips, Cressida raises her hand to knock lightly on a compartment door. She opens it gently, peeking her head through. "Do you mind if I join you for a while?" Or until they reach Hogwarts – but that might be a bit intrusive to ask.
Elias Griffith, a handsome seventh year, opens his arm to encase the compartment. "Welcome aboard, Miss Hawthorne." He has a shapely face with soft lips and terracotta skin. His hair is cut short, much unlike the wild afro he had been donning the last few years. And a Gryffindor of course.
The other two owners of the compartment are the Prewett twins. Fabian and Gideon almost look exactly alike, but with anything longer than a brief glance over, their dissimilarities are starkly apparent. Gideon has a slightly shorter and squarer face. And his hair is a shade darker, curlier than his brothers and in a more roundish cut. Fabian on the other hand has a longer face and lighter hair. It grows an inch longer than Gideon's, accentuating his longer features. He also has fewer freckles than his brother.
"Abandoning your group of buddies?" Gideons questions, tilting his chin up high with his mouth parted in an almost arrogant wonder. "Must say you made the right choice in joining us."
"Though you might feel a bit lonely when we leave at the end of the year."
Cressida huffs a smile, sitting down next to Elias, holding her small satchel on her lap. "Just thought I could do with some different company for the ride. They're talking about this muggle movie they watched. It was all about this weird spider thing. I didn't understand it really." The lie falls easily, making her wonder if everybody else can see through her lies as easily as her friends.
Elias clicks his fingers together, pointing to her. "The Giant Spider Invasion?!" Laughing, Cressida nods. She had forgotten Elias is a muggle-born like herself. "That movie was incredible. My brother and I couldn't stop laughing."
"It was so bad!" Cressida hisses in paradoxical agreement. "I can't believe they even made it."
Elias half turns in his seat. "Do you remember when that chick-" He stops himself suddenly, raising his hands in a surrender. "I'll stop. You left the others because they were talking about it and quite clearly, we are the better ones to hang around."
Cressida can only smile and offer a laugh, knowing full well that she would have loved a good banter about the movie. Instead, she looks to the twins. "How are your nephews going? Bill and Charlie?"
"Adventurous little lads," Gideon says in obvious praise. "Bill spends his days in the garden digging up all sorts of things. Molly's given up and lets him because at least she knows where he's at. Charlie is a wander-"
"Nearly made it to the Diggory house once," Fabian finishes. "Arthur nearly shit himself didn't he, since he was on babysitting duty."
Cressida smiles at their antics and way of storytelling. "Can I come around one day through the Summer? I've met Bill but not little Charlie."
"Floo-powder in whenever you want," Gideon offers. "Molly is a sucker for guests."
"Guests she likes," Fabian adds pointedly.
Cressida squints slightly, a curious smirk dancing on her lips. "She likes me, right?"
The twins simultaneously pull their lips back in a pensive wince, but they crack at her deadpan-glare, lapsing the compartment into a fit of laughter.
Xx
"I could help you with Transfiguration, you know. I did amazing in my OWLs for it."
Fabian leans close as they stride through Hogwarts' halls with trunks in hand. They've just gotten off the carriages and have the luxury of heading straight to their Common Room rather than a feast after a long day. "Bout the only thing he did well in," the red-head taunts.
Elias huffs, jutting an elbow into his friend's chests but laughs all the same along with him. "That's why I wasn't offering help in bloody potions making," he drawls to the twin. His scowling face transforms back into a warm smile. "They're kidding. I actually did pretty well. If you want the help of course."
"Thank you, but…James is actually helping me." Her lips press together in a tight smile, her empty hand grasping at the opposite's elbow. "He's really good at Transfiguration and he says helping me is his own way of studying. And I wouldn't want to take time away from you with all your NEWT stuff."
Elias shrugs it off nonchalantly. "Offer stands if you change your mind."
They make their way up to the Common Room with ease in their pace, often stopping to talk with people along the way. Cressida doesn't mind at all, and in fact, she finds it refreshing to have such new interactions with people. With her friends, she was untouchable – not a status she claims individually – but with the twins and Elias, their relations with other students are more sociable and gentle.
As she watches them talk with another seventh year Hufflepuff, Cressida can't help but wonder if she has so few friends because of her friends. Not that she'd trade them for anything or anyone, but they have a tight line of protection around each other, and people see that. They don't see a simple group of friends that muck around and spend their days laughing. They see a bunch of troublemakers that practice spells on those that annoy them, yet their popularity and good grades contradict everybody's expectations. A group that shares a dorm and the only other allowed inside being herself. Nobody else knows of what they get up to, only that they are indeed up to something.
That would make her weary - if she were someone else.
But of course, there are those who do not care about her friends, or neither afraid to approach them. They aren't known to bite people after all.
Cressida gestures a farewell to the twins and Elias as they enter the Gryffindor Common Room. A few students litter the lower area but many are in their rooms unpacking once more. She intends to do the same, but her path inadvertently changes as Sirius waves her down.
They sit in the alcove, their trunks already put away. She swallows, noticing James tucking a brown leather book under his arm. Sirius folds his arms, leaning against the stone wall. "I'll be right back, she said," he mocks. "You spend the whole ride with those three?"
Cressida glances up at the staircases, watching the three ascend. Looking back down, she shrugs. "Not intentionally," she defends. "I ran into them and got talking about some things. I didn't realise how long it was until I saw the castle."
Remus smiles from the back of the alcove, arms resting along his knees. "Some of us were worried you got into trouble with the snakes."
"Some of you?" Cressida repeats, a teasing squint in her eye, the free hand resting on her hip. "Which of you weren't worried about my disappearance? I'll be sure to more nonchalant when they inevitably go missing as well?"
Remus smiles wider. "Only because I have confidence that you can handle shit by yourself."
"Alright well now I'm offended that people were worried about me," she breathes. Remus joins her in a soft laugh but the other three only watch on sombrely. "I…think I'll head to bed early tonight. Ironically sitting down for hours on end is more tiring than a six-hour Quidditch match."
"See you at breakfast tomorrow then," James says. Cressida nods slowly, glancing over each of them once more. James offers her a small smile along with Remus and Peter but Sirius is still being a petty bastard. He likes to be in control, she knows. And when she, or someone else, does their own thing it becomes hard for him to feel that sense. But it'll wear overnight.
Once she reaches her dorm, passing Lily, Marlene and Mary a quick hello, her arm dives into her satchel, pulling out the two-way diary, flipping through the first few pages. But there is nothing on them.