NOTE: I did something this chapter. And please remember what I said last chapter's note and read the note at the end of this chapter once you finish reading this chapter.
Anyways, enjoy and review!
Chapter 63: Cell Reception
(cut to Imperfect Cell running through a forest until he reaches a highway)
IMPERFECT CELL: (reading a road sign) All right. So South City is to the North, North City is to the West, and East City is...also to the North. ...Where the f**k am I?!
"That does sound way too confusing," Cana muttered.
(a bus with Jeepers Creepers on the radio appears on the road and crashes as the driver swerves to avoid Imperfect Cell)
COACH ROGER: Sir, I need to ask you to move off the road. We have a very important game today against the West City Southerners and we're already running late.
"D-Do you not realize what that thing is?" Minerva asked, baffled.
IMPERFECT CELL: (in his thoughts while reading a billboard) Aww, East City has a Panda Sanctuary, that's cute.
"Please don't drink the pandas," Lisanna prayed.
COACH ROGER: I am now going to start applying the horn. (honks the horn) I am now going to use it again. (honks the horn twice) I will now continue to use the horn until you politely move. (honks the horn six times, causing Imperfect Cell to turn his head and stare at the coach)
(after a brief pause, the coach honks the horn again)
"This is stupid. There is nothing remotely intelligent about this," Laxus facepalmed at the idiot coach.
IMPERFECT CELL: Beep. (the coach honks the horn again) Beep! (the coach starts honking the horn repeatedly) Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! BEEEEEEEP! (turns his head away after another pause, thinking) Now, I just need to find my brother and sister before-
BUCKO: Hey, you giant green pylon, you ain't no car, so get off the road! Else me and the boys are gonna have to make your face look like your ass, and your ass look like your face!
"Well, its ass and face already resemble each other. You wouldn't be doing much," Sting mentioned.
IMPERFECT CELL: Mmm... (inhales) Hey, you. I wanna make a joke about your team. What's its name?
BUCKO: The East City Westmen!
EAST CITY WESTMEN: Hoo-Hah!
IMPERFECT CELL: (thinking) ...Oh, I am too hungry for this shit. (starts to absorb Bucko and does the same with the rest of the football team off-screen as the coach tries to make a getaway) BEEP! BEEP! (reaches through the glass and takes the coach)
The mages stared horrified by Cell's rampage of the football team.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cut to Piccolo, Trunks, and Krillin in the ruins of Ginger Town)
PICCOLO: Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!
"Guess he's the new Vegeta now," Gajeel snickered.
"Oh please no," Mira's face darkened at the thought.
KRILLIN: Wow, Piccolo's pulling a your dad.
VEGETA: (just arriving) Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!
"Now this headache is here," Minerva grumbled.
KRILLIN: Oh, yeah. See?
TRUNKS: And now we have this...
VEGETA: (lands and walks up to Piccolo) You! Namekian! Too strong! Explain now!
"What? Are you jealous?" Bickslow laughed at Vegeta.
TRUNKS: He fused with Kami so he could become stronger.
VEGETA: The f**k's a Kami?
KRILLIN: Basically God.
VEGETA: But I'm still here!
TRUNKS/Rogue: Do you really believe your own hype that much?
VEGETA: I AM THE HYPE!
None of the mages could hold back the laughter from Vegeta's face and response to Trunks' question.
(Tien arrives)
TIEN: Hey, finally found you guys. Just followed Vegeta's screaming. What'd I miss?
"Green creepy bug man with a drinking fetish," Gray answered.
KRILLIN: Piccolo fused with Kami.
TIEN: Oh, that finally came full circle.
"Yeah, it took a while," Levy said.
PICCOLO: More importantly, there's a new threat: another android created by Dr. Gero!
(Krillin, Trunks, and Tien are shocked to hear this)
VEGETA: DO I HEAR FIVE?!
"He won't let Trunks live this down," Romeo said.
(cut to Kame House)
CHI-CHI: Everyone! You have to come quickly!
GOHAN: Aw, but we were about to drink our lima bean and lentil smoothies.
"That sounds disgusting," Natsu blanched.
MASTER ROSHI: Yeah, they taste like vomit, but they keep me regular. I'm like a soft-serve ice cream machine in the mornin'!
"Didn't need to know that," Lucy said.
CHI-CHI: No time for those! Come upstairs!
(upstairs in another room...)
MASTER ROSHI: (is heard running up the stairs) I'm comin', I'm comin'... (arrives at the door) I came. Heh!
Cue groaning from the audience.
CHI-CHI: Look! Look at Goku!
(Goku smiles in his sleep)
OOLONG: (sarcastically) What a miracle we have witnessed. Allow me to go call the local news.
CHI-CHI: I've had to deal with him screaming bloody murder for the last three hours, I'll take what I can get.
"I guess the medicine is finally working on him," Levy smiled.
"Good, the better he gets the faster he can help fight Cell and the Cyborgs," Erza sighed, relieved.
MASTER ROSHI: I wonder what he's dreamin' about...
(in Goku's dream)
WIZARD GOKU: (dressed like NATSU DRAGNEEL) Yay! I'm Wizard Goku! Are you ready for an adventure, Ice-Guy Piccolo?
"What..."
"The..."
"FUCK!?"
ICE-GUY PICCOLO: (dressed like GRAY FULLBUSTER) Uh, actually, I think you need to wake up. The androids are-
PIRATE GOKU: Wait, look! It's Fire Goku!
FIRE GOKU: (dressed like SHINRA KUSAKABE) Hey, Wizard Goku! Let's go fight some fire monsters!
WIZARD GOKU: Yeah!
(cut back to Goku sleeping)
GOKU: (in his sleep) Yeah…
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Natsu screamed, pointing at the Lacrama. Nobody really knew how to answer him, that was the single strangest thing that's happened this entire viewing.
"Maybe...maybe it's trying to tell us something," Levy guessed.
"Tell us what, exactly? That Goku is aware of us or something?" Lily asked.
"I don't know! But, that entire dream has to be important! What other reason would that Lacrama show it to us!?" Levy responded.
"I think it'll be better to come back to this discussion for another time," Makarov said. The old man was equally freaked out from seeing Goku dressed as Natsu and Piccolo dressed as Gray.
"Master's right. We can talk more about this later," Mira resumed the episode.
(cut to Piccolo, Trunks, Krillin, Vegeta, and Tien)
PICCOLO: So yeah, that's basically it in a nutshell.
KRILLIN: You mean a nut-CEL-
PICCOLO, TIEN, TRUNKS, & VEGETA/Everyone: SHUT UP!
TIEN: So if Cell manages to find whatever he's missing, he'll become even stronger?
"A terrifying thought," Wendy said.
PICCOLO: I guess? He was pretty vague about it. No matter what, though, if he and the androids join forces, none of us will stand a chance.
VEGETA: Says you.
Minerva and Erza both messaged their foreheads at the on-coming headache.
TIEN: And here we go...
VEGETA: I don't care how many people you fuse with, you'll never be as strong as a Super Saiyan.
"Android 18 proved you wrong not that long ago," Kagura countered.
PICCOLO: Not really much of a milestone anymore.
"That's really true. We've seen multiple Super Saiyans," Levy responded.
VEGETA: As for me, I will find a level beyond a Super Saiyan.
TIEN: ...So what? Like a Mega Saiyan? Ultra Saiyan?
VEGETA: ...You're mocking me.
TIEN: Maximum Over-Saiyan?
VEGETA: F**K OFF, TRICLOPS! (flies off)
Minerva burst out laughing from Tien's taunts.
KRILLIN: Why do you antagonize him like that? You know he can kill you, right?
TIEN: At this point, it's a game. If he gives in, I win. And he knows that.
"Playing at his pride? I like it," Gildarts laughed.
TRUNKS: Crazy thought... If that Cell's from another timeline, then there's gotta be one in this timeline, too.
TIEN: Pretty sure that emotional episode you had earlier leveled Gero's lab.
KRILLIN: Well, he was a mad scientist. Shot in the dark: maybe he's got a basement?
"We saw the sub-lab in the Android 13 movie, so Krillin's on the nose here," Freed said.
TRUNKS: Aw, crapbaskets.
KRILLIN: Oh, you say that, too?
"He got it from Gohan," Mira said.
PICCOLO: All right, then. Trunks, you go back to Gero's lab. I'm going after Cell.
KRILLIN: I'm going with Trunks to go after Cell.
TIEN: And I'm going with Piccolo to...go after...Cell?
KRILLIN: ...Break! (he and Trunks depart)
"That wasn't confusing at all," Carla rolled her eyes.
PICCOLO: So, now that I have the chance to say this, um, sorry my dad killed Chiaotzu.
(Tien gives a quite glare at Piccolo)
"Did you have to make it awkward?" Mira asked.
NAIL: (Annnd you made it awkward.)
(cut to Cell at the outskirts of Nicky Town)
IMPERFECT CELL: Hey, there, cherry. What's your name?
"NICKY TOWN": (Imperfect Cell speaking in a feminine-like voice) My name is Nicky Town. Who are you?
IMPERFECT CELL: Name's Cell. (licks his beak-mouth) And you are lookin' fine.
"NICKY TOWN": Well, thank you, Mr. Cell, but you're just saying that.
IMPERFECT CELL: Oh, I don't say that to every town I come across.
"NICKY TOWN": Mr. Cell, please absorb me!
IMPERFECT CELL: Oh, don't worry, I'll get around to it.
"NICKY TOWN": Why don't you do it now, Mr. Cell?!
IMPERFECT CELL: Ok-ok-okay, I'm in the middle of something right now...
"NICKY TOWN": No, right now, Mr. Cell! Right NOW!
IMPERFECT CELL: (loses his temper) BITCH, I DO WHAT I WANT!
If they didn't think Cell could get anymore creepy, the bug just proved them all wrong.
(cut to Trunks and Krillin exploring the ruins of Dr. Gero's lab)
KRILLIN: (starts shivering) Oh, my God, was it always this cold? We were here at noon, it was not this cold!
TRUNKS: Well, if you need to warm up, start looking. (begins to shoot ki blasts at various ruins)
KRILLIN: You know, I sometimes complain about our lifestyle, but honestly, shooting lasers is fun! (starts making laser noises as he fires off blasts) Pe-chew! Pe-chew! Pe-chew!
"I want to shoot lasers," Natsu shoots some fire at Lucy's feet. Making the Celestial mage move her feet out of the way.
She smacked him in the face. "STOP DOING THAT!"
TRUNKS: Are you...making laser noises?
KRILLIN: All the time in my head. Why is that weird?
TRUNKS: ... (begins making laser noises with his blasts as well) Pe-pew!
"It's cute when Trunks does it," Lisanna giggled.
KRILLIN: Pe-chew!
TRUNKS: Pew!
KRILLIN: Pe-chew!
TRUNKS: (sees a broken ladder leading beneath the rubble) Hey, there it is!
KRILLIN: Well, we can't climb down that, it's broken.
"Fly," Laxus said.
TRUNKS: Just come on. (both of them float down inside)
KRILLIN: Whee! (they land) Wheehee...
TRUNKS: I need to ask you a favor...
KRILLIN: What's that?
TRUNKS: If we find any more androids down here... Please don't tell my father.
KRILLIN: I swear on my life. Unless he threatens my life, in which case... (Trunks opens the door to the basement, revealing a super-computer) Wow. Danger, Will Robinson.
TRUNKS: Who's Will Robinson?
KRILLIN: The future is no fun.
"We don't know either. Does that mean we're no fun?" Romeo asked.
"Nah, we're pretty fun," Natsu replied. His answer brought a smile to the boy's face.
TRUNKS: It's really not... Huh? (notices a tank) Hey, so, if I were a gambling man...
KRILLIN: Huh? Oh, my God... It's adorable! (reveals to be present Cell's fetus inside the tank) Well, time to waste it.
"No hesitation in killing an infant," Yukino sweatdropped.
"To be fair, we all know what that will become," Lector told her.
TRUNKS: No, wait!
KRILLIN: Aw...
TRUNKS: (finds some papers on a table) These... These are the schematics for the androids! We could use these to find a way to turn them off!
"That's not as fun as beating them in a fight," The male Dragon Slayers sighed. Wendy started looking at her brothers worryingly.
"W-Was I supposed to agree with them?" She asked Carla.
"No, don't agree with them, Wendy," Carla answered.
KRILLIN: (thinking) Don't ask how to turn them on. Don't ask how to turn her on. Don't ask how to turn Android 18 on! (out loud) How do you turn Android 17 on? (thinking) SHIT!
"Dumbass," Gajeel said.
TRUNKS: Also, it lists their real names! Lapis and Lazuli... And apparently, Android 16 was modeled after Gero's son!
"Interesting," Levy wrote the names and info down in the character bios.
KRILLIN: ...Are you making that up? It sounds like you're making that up.
TRUNKS: No, it's all here! Really!
KRILLIN: Well, okay. Grab those and let's kill Cell!
TRUNKS: Hold on, I-I've been thinking... Technically it's never done anything wrong... So...doesn't it have the right to life?
"Yeah? Doesn't it?" Yukino asked.
"No," Laxus gave his immediate answer.
KRILLIN: This isn't about a right to life! It's about making a choice... A choice we both need to make. A choice between a terrible mistake that can ruin lives and f**k it, I'm dropping the pretenses. We're aborting Cell! (fires a blast at fetus Cell's tank, destroying it as the basement starts caving in) Boo-yah!
"He didn't sugar-coat that at all," Lucy sweatdropped.
TRUNKS: All right, let's get out of here before this place comes down on our heads.
KRILLIN: Sorry, just a little caught up in gloating. (they both flee) I KILLED CELL!
"He's going to ride on that achievement for years," Gajeel laughed.
KRILLIN: (both of them managed to make it outside) Hasta la vista, baby! (fires one last blast at the basement, creating an enormous explosion) Probably should have backed up first... (starts coughing before cutting to him, covered in soot, and Trunks flying away) That was fun. We should hang out more.
(cut to Piccolo and Tien investigating the bus Cell dealt with earlier)
PICCOLO: Nothing but clothes with stab marks; Cell's calling card.
TIEN: Aw, damn it. He killed my star battle back. My entire fantasy team just went straight to hell.
"Is that your main concern?" Erza asked.
PICCOLO: Are you serious?
TIEN: What? I have hobbies.
"Really?" Bickslow asked.
PICCOLO: (scoffs) No, you don't.
(cut to Nicky Town)
TJ: (is heard from a radio) Hey there, Nicky Town. This is your local station 98.5, The Nick, where TJ-
WOMBAT: (also heard from a radio) And the Wombat-Wombat-Wombat.
"Hey! It's those radio guys again!" Wendy pointed out.
WOMAN: Me so horny.
TJ: What's the weather looking like out there, Wombat?
WOMBAT: Wombat Weather Forecast! We're in the middle of an impossible heat wave, a balmy 104 degrees, so make sure you stay hydrated! Real hydrated!
(Imperfect Cell starts absorbing a man in Nicky Town)
TJ: And in local sports news, many of our listeners are still waiting at the stadium for the East City Westmen, who are becoming increasingly late to the game. Probably hit some traffic on the turnpike…
The atmosphere in the guild turned grim.
WOMBAT: Or maybe they're just scared!
(a woman is seen screaming in terror)
TJ: Oh, looks like we got our first call-in of the segment! Hello there, caller. What can TJ...
WOMBAT: And the Wombat!
TJ: ...do for you?
IMPERFECT CELL: (through the speaker of a phone) Hello there, I- (man screams) Okay, hold on, hold on... (kills the man and relishes it) Ah, there. Okay. Could you play "Video Killed the Radio Star"?
"I don't like this," Lucy shivered.
TJ: Wow, uh, we usually only do the top 20...
WOMBAT: But today, we'll make an exception for you, killer!
"You have no idea how right you are," Makarov said.
IMPERFECT CELL: Oh, shucks. Thanks, fellas. (song begins) I'll be right in.
TJ: Wh-what? What'd he say? (a door is heard breaking open) Oh, God...! Oh, God! WHAT IS THAT THING?! NO! NO, GET AWAY! GET AWAY FROM WOMBAT! NO! PUT HIM DOWN! NO! WHY, GOD?! OH GOD, I LOVED YOU, WOMBAT! I LOVED YOU SO MUCH! (screams and dies as it shows the clothes of all of Cell's victims scattered in Nicky Town)
A chilling silence washed over the guild once more.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
IMPERFECT CELL: Hey, welcome back to 98.5, The Cell. We have another caller making a request...
CALLER: Please don't kill me!
IMPERFECT CELL: Sorry, that's not in the lineup. (is heard absorbing the guy) Speaking of the lineup, in the next half-hour, we've got "Hungry Like the Wolf" by Duran Duran, "Killing Me Softly With His Song" by Lauren Hill, followed by "All By Myself". Now, don't touch that dial…
"Ya know...I'm no longer upset at Krillin for killing baby Cell," Yukino shivered.
Chapter End
NOTE: Fire Force and Fairy Tail run in the exact same Magazine, so that's why Goku was dressed as Shinra instead of Naruto. The Lacrama is trying to tell them something? But, what exactly? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!