Author's note: Expect a LOT more dinners, people.
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B is for bubbles.
"So… when is the Enchantress coming?" Treasure Knight asked. "I believe my submarine is under attack as I speak."
"Just be patient." Specter Knight snapped.
"Patience is virtue, waiting is treasure." Tinker Knight poetically added.
"Shovel Knight is currently invading my submarine!" Treasure Knight protested. "When I come back and I see just one copper piece missing-"
"I have bubbles." Plague Knight murmured, summoning a vat of soapy liquid from his alchemical pocket dimension. There was a large ring with a handle submerged in the liquid.
The members of the Order of No Quarter turned to Plague Knight's vat beside the table.
"Knock yourselves out, hee." The little alchemist shrugged. "I have to fetch something from the lab while we wait."
With a cloud of green smoke, he disappeared from his seat, teleporting outside of the dining hall. Propeller Knight stood up almost immediately after and inspected the vat.
"What was he expecting us to do, mes amis?"
"Why, to blow bubbles while we wait for her!" King Knight answered enthusiastically, leaping out of his chair.
"Are you sure we are permitted?" Tinker Knight asked.
"We're the Order of No Quarter, peon!" King Knight retorted. "The Enchantress does not care what happens to the dining room at all!"
/*a few minutes later*/
Polar Knight sighed. He was sitting on the dining table, right hand holding the ring and the left cupped on his face in utter boredom and annoyance. He could have been eating the delicious cake Plague Knight prepared. If there was something that wizard was useful for, it was for cooking delectable food. Propeller Knight was sitting under the ring, unhappy as well, his Heli-Helmet's blades spinning slowly. His fan hat blew several bubbles up and away. The bubble on the ring eventually popped. Tinker Knight took the ring from his gigantic teammate and promptly dunked it on the half-full vat. He returned it to Polar Knight, who harrumphed and sighed again. The trio watched the rest of the Order having a little fun, especially Specter Knight, who seemed lost in memories… again.
"I wonder how that peasant bounces on bubbles." King Knight wondered aloud.
"He uses that shovel and aims it downwards." Mole Knight replied. "Perhaps you could use your scepter?"
A small pshhk accompanied a cloud of smoke as the alchemist teleported back in the dining hall, carrying a big book. Plague Knight only had to get a glimpse.
"The room is full of bubbles!" The alchemist blurted out in surprise, clutching his large book close to him.
"Very good observation." Tinker Knight grumbled from beside Polar Knight. He mocked a clap. "Wow."
Suddenly, the doors of the dining hall banged open, eerie wind blowing from their direction. All torches lighting the hall were extinguished, allowing only natural light to illuminate it. The bubbles were promptly blown away and popped once they got in contact with the opposite wall. An unamused sorceress was hovering by the doorway, a moving body bag just behind her.
"Does someone want to explain why my dining hall is filled with bubbles?!"
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B is for Bard.
The Bard showed no hints of fright once he was dumped on the dinner table from the sack he was just in. All he did was take his trusty lute, check if it was still tuned properly, stand up, and dust lint, soap, and food particles off of his garments. The Order of No Quarter and the Enchantress watched in awe at this fearless person look around as if he was just walking leisurely. There was just... an odd thing about the Village Bard. It was either his peculiar lute or his legendary status that struck the wrong chords in them.
"So," the yellow minstrel raised his arms, "what am I doing here?"
"You are to compose music for us, musician." The Enchantress replied with a booming voice.
"Yeah, yeah, I already know that, girl, it's my divine duty to make music for y'all." The Bard sighed in exasperation. "Can I go home now? My dog's waiting for me."
"Of course, why not?" The sorceress nodded and gestured to the exit courteously.
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B is for butt.
King Knight suddenly cackled.
"Have you gone mad?" Mole Knight stopped his obsessive finger tapping and leaned away from the laughing knight.
"No… haha, not at all!" King Knight answered, and burst in more laughter. "Oh, remember the butt days?"
Polar Knight banged his mug of beer on the table.
"How immature." Specter Knight grumbled.
"Why didn't we have a 'best name award'?" King Knight shouted as he banged his fist on the table, barely containing his fit of laughter. "Butt Butt! That peasant!"
"Hey. You're ruining the rich dinner." Treasure Knight huffed. "I haven't experienced a quiet and peaceful dinner with all of you. Now-"
"Ruin?" King Knight chortled. "Treasure Butt! Hah!"
"What the f- hey!" Treasure Knight lifted his diving helmet for audibility's sake.
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B is for baka.
From the perspective of a young red Liquid Samurai, everything around it worked in odd ways.
It observed the Tower where it was born in, and it seemed too tall, ugly, and outlandish, but it resided in it. It didn't really know why and how it considered the ugly tower its home.
It observed the blue horned person defend against its comrades with nothing but a glorified shovel. It wondered why someone fought with a digging apparatus and somehow won against the deadly sharp katana and lethally precise yumi. How a shovel to outmatch true weapons of war escaped it.
It remembered the blue horned person from memories of its predecessors. The blue horned person was fighting with a red winged person, who fought with shields. Shields were weapons of war, right?
It followed a being it couldn't truly comprehend, but loyalty trumped all. It observed the peculiar eight warriors that also followed the being but were outside of the ranks of the samurai. They were all very, very, very odd. It watched the crowned person, whom it despised because of the person's lack of combat skill. It steered away from the dead person, but noted the person's obsession with appearance. It respected the big person, but wondered why the person used a big shovel. It was dumbfounded of the gold and blue person, who never spoke coherently. It was intrigued by the bird person, who didn't fly around in the air, unfortunately. It was impressed by the small person, whose creations, it admitted to itself, surpassed the best katanas. It was curious of the red person with claws. It was uncomfortable thinking about the green person who flew in air because of the person's sword. The cutting power of its katana would break that thin weak sword in two, but wondered how that kind of sword would earn him a title among the other warriors.
It was currently watching the blue horned person and the eight servants of its master wrestle and curse on the dinner table, grimacing as warriors fell off one by one. They were relentlessly punching and slashing at each other. It mouthed one word that would describe every single one of them.
"Baka."
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B is for bad news.
Mole Knight was fidgeting in worry. "It's been two days. Where are the students?"
"We do have reason to believe that the entire incoming anthropology department is missing." The mole minion in the room unhappily stated. "This week has been bad news for us."
"The demolitions team currently in intensive medical care, the anthropologists missing? Yes, I agree." The excavator grumbled to himself, his mind desperately cranking up solutions to his problems. "I need new demolitions personnel first."
/later that day/
Mole Knight shrieked in horror. "PLAGUE KNIGHT? In the name of archaeology, WHAT DID YOU DO?"
A little alchemist stood before the smoldering ruins of the ancient house that was once there, nervously laughing. "Boom? Hee hee."
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B is for barter.
King Knight slipped a bag of coins to Treasure Knight under the table.
Treasure Knight quietly handed him a new scepter after wriggling his arm out of his stubborn armor.
King Knight gleefully caressed his new scepter while Treasure Knight carefully counted the coins in the bag.
"No unauthorized transactions on the dinner table." Polar Knight scolded.
The two knights groaned, but gave back each other's product.
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B is for beach.
The red Liquid Samurai laughed for the first time, throwing sand at its fellow liquid warriors, only for a furious green archer to shoot sand at it.
"Ahh, this is lovely." King Knight could only comment, resting against the tinker hammock, legs on a regal stool. Propeller Knight placed his own propeller hammock beside his fabulous friend and jumped on it. He handed a pair of shades to his comrade, who accepted it.
"Oui." The Frenchman only sighed in happiness, sipping on a glass of wine and putting on his own glasses.
Meanwhile, at the water, Tinker Knight lugged one of his new inventions, which looked like a wakeboard with several things attached to it, to the water. Unfortunately, his upper body weight wasn't cooperating, and so he stumbled face down on the sand multiple times. Polar Knight, who was holding a small red and gold umbrella, approached his small teammate and helped the tinker bring the board to the water. Lifeguard Treasure Knight stood watch over the small knight struggling to stand up on the wakeboard. The red liquid samurai ran away, followed by a grumbling green liquid archer, followed by an entire horde of completely frantic blue shifters.
"Now, if you just stop panicking, you'll be able to ride the waves properly." Polar Knight instructed in a considerate father-like tone.
"I don't know if I can do what I want!" Tinker Knight whined.
"You sound like the children I once taught." The Stalwart sighed. "Alright, keep your knees unshaking."
Tinker Knight nodded and swam away from the shore. He held up his thumb. Polar Knight turned around and chucked his umbrella upwards, which was almost instantly engulfed in a yellow glow. The umbrella slowly floated to Specter Knight, who stayed in the shade far back.
"Oh dear, what's he doing now?" Propeller Knight lifted his shades up. Just as he was about to sit up, something burrowed from under his hammock and carried him upwards.
"The shakers are ready!" Mole Knight shouted, before plopping the Propeller Knight-carrying-propeller hammock back down on the sand.
The apparition floated towards the sea, the umbrella replacing his weapon in his left hand. He looked down and waved to Tinker Knight. The water became covered in the ghostly yellow of Specter Knight's spectral influence.
"Alright, time to hit it…" Mole Knight murmured as a mole popped out of the hole, a device with a single button on it. He picked it up, patted his pet's head, and pushed the button.
A low rumble came from underwater. The beach shook, and then the water suddenly receded from the shore. The yellow began to go up, with Specter Knight raising his arm to follow the water's rise. Propeller Knight gasped, realizing what was about to happen, and then placed on his elaborate helmet, fastening the metal and fabric straps to his torso as fast as he could. He took one of the handles and squeezed it, flying out into the air as high as he could. King Knight watched the French noble fly up, confusion filling his mind. The three samurai, now at least a mile away, started running towards any high point they could find.
The snow knight put his hands at either side of his mouth and shouted encouragingly. "Remember! No shaking!"
Tinker Knight, filled with determination, swam to the large wave and dared to stand up once he started to ride in it. The yellow color of the water disturbed him a little, but he didn't let that faze him.
He was going to prove he can surf a wave.
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B is for break.
"You're back?" Mona let a bit of surprise slip past her constantly bored façade. The blue knight had broken the wall she had placed to protect Plaguey from being spotted. He had done this more than ten times, and she was already worrying that Shovel Knight might drop by as Plague Knight literally drops by, effectively exposing her laboratory and destroying her mask of a bored woman just interested in giving a good game to less bored knights.
"Yes, kind miss. I am back for another round."
"Okay… great. I'll conjure more things… again." She pulled a small lever and the targets appeared. "Ready?"
Mona conjured a green flask, and Shovel Knight immediately jumped to hit it with his weapon. The flask shattered in contact with one of the orange targets. She almost swore she was going to descend to complete madness if she was going to hear more flasks break in the next week.
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B is for bright.
"Specter Knight, turn on the damn lights." Polar Knight grumpily said to an equally grumpy Specter Knight. The apparition had angrily turned off the lights when something King Knight said severely offended him, and Polar Knight was not tolerating any kind of quarrel while he was having a great time eating his chicken.
"Hss." Specter Knight grumbled and snapped his fingers. Light came back in the dining hall, but everyone else promptly screamed and squeezed their eyes shut.
"Mes dieux!" Propeller Knight dramatically screeched, stretching his arms out before putting his hands over where his eyes were. "Mes yeux!"
Plague Knight silently put his tiny hands over his mask's eyeholes, muttering insults towards the apparition. Mole Knight huffed and put his claws over his visor. King Knight complained loudly while shielding his regal eyes from the unholy light. Treasure Knight had quite a hard time. His anchor arm wasn't helping, and he couldn't move his free arm much, so he smacked his helmet on the table to cover his eyes while he wiggled his left arm free. Tinker Knight and Polar Knight were the only ones who weren't affected, the latter by his welding mask, and the former by the shadows obscuring the upper half of his face. Polar Knight sighed exasperatedly at his younger comrades, putting his large palm over his face.
"You sadistic maniac!" King Knight shouted loudly, his left arm over his face and right feeling around blindly on his part of the table. "Where is my plate?!"
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B is for banana.
Specter Knight gasped in horror for the first time in his second life.
"Do you like what I made you, master?" The new assistant asked just as Specter Knight gasped in horror for the first time in his second life. She forced herself to smile when she saw his hands glow yellow and heard him count softly from one to twenty. He straightened his composure after a long moment and stared down at his top servant.
"Not at all." He replied as calmly as he could while glaring the sharpest of daggers at her. Specter Knight pointed at his outfit, near identical to his normal red hood, scarf, and robes, only that the color was a golden yellow.
"You… look good, master Specter."
"I look like a banana!" He uncharacteristically yelled. "A banana!"
"You… look good as a banana, master." She twiddled her fingers in pure terror of his bubbling rage. "I honestly think you look cool."
"I told you to make me look cool, not like a fruit." He looked at the mirror briefly, his dread increasing by the second when he realized two things; his whitish armor underneath the yellow made him look more like a banana, and his thin arms and hands looked like the thin strings on the peelings. He was a floating ripe and harmless banana wielding a sinister scythe. He started to simmer in hotter rage, which the ghost maid immediately noticed.
"Bananas… when placed in a cool, or preferably, a freezing place, become… sweeter. Perhaps y-you'd be less temperamental, possibly more sympathetic, if you'd stay for some time in the… Stranded Ship?"
"What? Are you insinuating that you-?"
"Banana Knight?" She suggested. "An odd moniker, yes, but it's less ridiculous than the name 'Shovel Knight'. I will acknowledge Banana Knight as my master-"
"I order you," He descended to her, fists shaking and glowing, his figure gliding threateningly closer to her, "to stop it."
"… who is also Specter Knight… who seems to hate bananas with a burning passion…" She looked up at his face, felt his glare of death on her, and flinched. "Forgive me, master! I promise! I will never do it again!"
Up next: C is for cat.
Translation/s:
baka - idiot (Japanese)
mes dieux! mes yeux! - my gods! my eyes!