To Pipo Rabbit: C is for careful was the real start of my descent into madness. I hope you enjoy the others as well and thank you for reading!
To Void Knight: Sorry, I didn't notice your review email D: Void Knight's not been used as far as I know, but it's a very cool name! The main problem I had with making these is if anyone is OOC, yes, but with little dialogue, little personal quirks, vague endings, and small bios, I had to base our beloved knights from those. For example, Specter Knight's character is secretly emotional, quick to anger, and kind of shoving into everyone he's a 'reaper' because of his endings which I shall not spoil, his manner of speech, and general behavior. If you have a fanfiction account, I can send to you the rules on each person's characterization I try to follow!
To others… this is a longer thing than I intended it to be, so I cut the words for D to 5. Review if you'd like to see five more words because I really thought a chapter around 3500 words is too much compared to the others I'll make.
.
D is for device.
Tinker Knight sprinted to King Knight, holding an odd-looking device in his tiny hands. Part of him was cursing himself for resorting to King Knight, of all people, to test a new device. But he reasoned. He was talkative as hell, so he'd be the perfect one for the testing! Yes! Test subject for the day; the current monarch of Pridemoor. What could possibly go wrong?
"KIIIING KNIIIGHT." Tinker Knight bellowed, prompting the decadent dandy to spin around.
"Yes, little subject?"
The tinker rolled his eyes. "Hey, can you test this for me?"
"Yes, why not?" King Knight nodded. "I'm alright. What is that?"
"It's a sound recording device I invented just yesterday!" Tinker Knight gleefully explained. "This is where the device will store-"
"I am not able to understand everything else that comes out of your mouth afterwards." King Knight wagged a finger and put it over the small man's mask, roughly where he assumed his mouth was. "Speak English, for fashion's sake!"
"Okay!" Tinker Knight slapped the hand on his mask. "Just speak into the... bunch of little holes while depressing the button, which is over here." He pointed to a small cluster of dots on the device and a small red button.
King Knight snatched the new device from the tinker's hands. "I'll test it now."
"It doesn't have much of an energy source. Give it back to me by this afternoon."
"Yes, yes! Of course. I'm off to Pridemoor! Propeller Knight and I are having a contest now and I can NOT be late." He strutted away. "Punctuality is a good source of fabulousness points."
"Huh. Good luck, then."
/a few hours later/
Tinker Knight looked over the dismantled device and wondered what was up with both King Knight and Propeller Knight. Both barged in his workshop, helmets off and a very concerned look on their faces. They were smiling nervously, stammering nervously, and even walking nervously. They both denied the obvious change in personality. He had rolled his eyes and shoved the two broken egos out of his workshop.
What bothered the two most flamboyant men he knew in his whole life to shake their confidence-
Oh. My device.
He took a rectangular object out of the neatly arranged pieces lying on his table. He plugged more odd devices into the object and flicked a labeled switch from 'record' to 'listen'. King Knight's rich voice filled his entire room.
"Is this even working? I hope it is, because I AM GOING TO WIN THIS DAMN CONTEST. Let this device record history!"
"Hey!"A not-so-faint voice barked. It was Propeller Knight. "I will win."
He snickered. "Oui oui baguette Propeller."
Tinker Knight prepared to slap a hand to his face.
"Yes, haha!"The Frenchman laughed, seemingly ignoring the bad French the other knight uttered. Ladies started to scream and chant his name.
"I AM POSING FABULOUSLY. LOOK AT ME."King Knight panted afterwards. More women started to shriek the other knight's name. Tinker Knight could only imagine the ridiculous events documented in the recording and sank his face onto his arms instead. It was a success, and the combined voices of ladies and fellow knights were starting to irritate him. He reached to turn off the thing when a dreadful silence played. He frowned. The battery life was thatshort? He glanced at the object. It was still running.
"What are you doing here?" It was Propeller Knight who broke the eerie silence. Tinker Knight leaned towards the recorder. What on this green earth is happening now?
"Yes! You're frightening our beautiful ladies!" King Knight rather loudly spoke. "Begone, knave!"
"Knave?"A third joined in. "What an insult."
The engineer frowned deeper. What was Specter Knight doing in the recording?
"What's your objective here, reaper?"The Frenchman scoffed.
"Oh, it's a small request. I'm simply here to play with you and this contest."
"Hah! You? Excusez-moi. We're in the final round."
"You don't possess the extravagance and magnificence the both of us have, Specter Knight!"
There was a low chuckle. "Heh. You two are simply trying too hard."
Tinker Knight grumbled exasperatedly under his breath about hypocrisy.
"Oh damn me he's going to remove his helmet…"
"Mes dieux… mes yeux…"
"I think I'm going to need potions to erase my memory…"
"I need to cover my eyes."
"No not my cape you-"
"I don't need to see a nightmare today."
"Oh gods he already has his hood down AND PLEASE DON'T SMOTHER YOUR FACE ON ME-"
Tinker Knight briefly wondered how King Knight could still press the button.
"Help me King Knight…"
"Let us tremble fashionably in this corner of the stage."
"Ah, dieux, he's removing his helmet…"
"WHY are my eyes glued to him - help me avert my eyes…"
"I cannot avert mine as well!"
"Nooooooo!"
"Nooooooonnn!"
"He's halfway there I cannot close mine eyes."
"Me too. What kind of dark magic is this, mon ami - OH MY GOODNESS HE IS-"
The ladies present were absolutely hysterical, drowning the Frenchman's voice. Tinker Knight's device started to spark as the ladies' screaming mixed with both knights' voices. The rectangular object exploded on his table, and the engineer couldn't help but stare at his invention, now on fire.
.
D is for day.
"Professor." The student said very firmly, in contrast to her already tattered field garments and gaunt face. "It's been three days. Admit it, sir, we're lost."
"Mole Knight's search parties will come out if we're lost, young lady!" The ditzy professor claimed.
"Mole Knight is a member of the Order of No Quarter, sir! Have you forgotten? They're forbidden from even getting near the village! We're beside the village of death!"The student's voice cracked, seething with anger. "I've got an entire field report that you require, and the deadline is next week! When are we actually going to the archaeological site? THIS IS THE ONLY SUBJECT I NEED BEFORE I GRADUATE AND ACTUALLY WORK."
"Well then, your graduation will probably be delayed, young lady."
"NOOOOO!"
.
D is for death.
His thoughts were plagued with terrified screams and voices from his memories. No matter what he did, those still haunted him every day and night.
It was never pleasant for the apparition.
"Go away, you ghost! Don't come back here! I don't like you! I hate you!"
"Mommy! Daddy! I'm scared…"
"You're not him! I don't have a dreadful friend! I never had you as a friend!"
It's me… don't you remember me? Does anyone still know me?
"You're a horrible being! You're no longer the knight I know! Monster!"
"Get the light! The undead dares to approach me! Banish it to hell! Abominations must be wiped away from the earth we walk."
"You pretend to be him? Get lost, loathsome creature. He is dead. Let him rest!"
Is anyone going to listen to me?
I still love you all…
"Are you alright? Do you need anything, master?" His personal assistant asked, her voice drowning out the horrible memories in his mind. He smiled fondly. She was excellent at what he actually employed her for – to help him cope a little bit.
.
D is for drink.
From the perspective of a young green Liquid Samurai, everything around it worked in odd ways.
It observed the Tower where it was born in, and it seemed too tall, ugly, and outlandish, but it resided in it. It was very ecstatic to live in such a tall tower. Its skill in precise archery benefited from it. Enemies either died in the lower levels of the tower or retreated due to its fellow liquid archers' lethal arrows. It didn't like falling down from the top, though, and it wished its master would fix that problem. But it wouldn't be called a tower…
It observed the blue horned person defend against its comrades with nothing but a glorified shovel. It couldn't help but marvel at the unorthodox weapon of this blue person.
It heard of the blue horned person's adventures with a red person with wings on her head. It marveled at their influence and prowess to the point it almost sympathized, but well, the master wouldn't like it and erase it from existence earlier than it would like.
It followed a being it couldn't truly comprehend, and it was hesitant. It observed the peculiar eight warriors that also followed the being but were outside of the ranks of the samurai. Seven out of eight were alive, and the last one was dead. It envied the dead person because it can never live on in a second life, only able to be cruelly ripped out from reality when either it or its master has been defeated. It idolized the big man with the big shovel, because he reminded it of the blue person. It liked the gold knights, the bird person, the mole person, the fishy person, and the tiny person, all of which used unconventional weaponry. It absolutely loathed the green person with the weird things on his head because of his weak sword. Who uses a thin blade to fight, anyway? What an unpractical choice… but the other warriors were also using unpractical weaponry. Oh well. It started liking the green person anyway.
Since it liked every one of the Order of No Quarter, no discrimination left, it prepared a table by the devices they called 'conveyer belts' and placed ten glasses on it. It even brought an entire case of the drinks it thought they would love, and left a note written with all its friendliness. It was all it could do anyway.
It left immediately when it heard the clanking of armor nearby, expecting the blue person.
King Knight was actually the first to arrive at the end of the Tower. Aside from happily celebrating his punctuality, he was damn tired. A king wasn't just fit for the arduous exercise, right? He leaned on a table that he never noticed and almost knocked the mugs and bottles. With a true monarch's reflexes, he caught them before they could even try to topple. With a true monarch's grace, he sighed in relief.
Then he noticed the liquor.
With a true monarch's mind, he pondered.
In a short time, he just decided to take a swig anyway.
/a few seconds afterwards/
Specter Knight was getting absolutely aggravated that day. He wondered if he was torturing himself. Why did he have to go through all the trouble of slaying a few victims here and there when he could just teleport from his lair? He then glared at the suspicious table of liquor.
Does an apparition even get drunk by mortal's brew?
He almost wished he dragged his personal aide with him. It was a question worth considering, especially when his previous humanity was concerned. If the answer was yes, then the drunk one would be his assistant. Will she spill all her secrets to him? Or will she simply pass out? Will she act seductive? None mattered, except for the last part, because he simply didn't know what to do in when it happens. Even with all his gifts, women baffled him. Well… at least he wasn't the one losing control over himself. The thought of him revealing all his plans, all his secrets, the story of his past, was horrible. If the answer was no, then his assistant wouldn't be drunk and would just continue on normally, probably begging for him to let her go back to the Yard where she felt more comfortable.
The statistical chances of the possibilities of getting drunk or not getting drunk were at least fifty-fifty.
Hmm.
He decided not to risk his self-control, but took a glass to pour a generous amount of sample into it. He'd feed it to his aide later.
/some explosions later/
Plague Knight heaved and wheezed on the floor as he passed the safe zone. His determination to brew his Ultimate Potion was already slipping. He thought of her. Mona's smile flashed in his mind. He mustered his courage upon thinking of her and, with a little effort, picked himself back up.
He made a mistake and stepped on the conveyor belts. He was abruptly pulled by the belts, and he couldn't do anything but wait for it to throw him to the table at the other end. And bang his head against the table he unintentionally did. Clutching his poor head with such tiny hands, he moaned and stood back up and saw the glasses and the bottle of liquid.
Plaguey, if you ever see any potion, anything, that's not made by me, don't trust it.
Mona's stern and concerned voice from a few years ago softly spoke in his mind. And since it was Mona… he bomb bursted out of there and climbed up the tower.
/yet another knight later/
Tinker Knight dusted off lint from his apron. A lot of liquid people were defeated by his mechanical tank, and he was ready for more. Not for more fighting, though. His hands and arms were tired throwing wrenches and activating devices. He was ready for something to drink or eat, and that's when he found the table with one used glass.
The engineer grabbed the refreshments on the table and poured himself some drinks. He quietly thanked whoever placed the drinks there and gulped the contents down, not realizing he was drinking liquor. When he opened his eyes after chugging three more glasses, his world was spinning and warping, psychedelic colors filling his vision. Tinker Knight laughed. What a beautiful day to continue fighting.
/some digging after/
Mole Knight popped up from the floor and looked up at the next room. He jumped back in to take him up immediately, and immediately regretted it. Structures willing to crush him moved continuously from left to right. The wretched Blorbs waited in the first part of the room. Exploding rats ran on blocks that easily gave way to any force exerted on them. Liquid archers waited patiently at the top, ready to fire at him. He only wanted to get to the soiree and not get pierced with whatever the liquid guys shot at him nor get scorched by combustible green rats nor get crushed to a pulp nor get green harmful slime in his armor.
He went back to the conveyor belt room and sat on the ground to think of a solution. His moles couldn't get to the other side without getting damaged, so he couldn't dig his way up. Mole Knight's eyes fell on the table to his right. He recognized the liquor as some sort of ancient beer. He then stood up, poured himself a glass, and more than happily lowered his own inhibitions. To hell with it.
What's better than dealing with insanity through drunkenness?
/some propeller blade noises/
Propeller Knight zoomed past everything as soon as he saw King Knight pass the last obstacle to the safe zone. He wasn't letting the other guy get to the party earlier than him! He pushed the last Hover Meanie away with a short and stern statement in French before arriving at the conveyor belt 'safe' zone. He was ready to fly up when he almost flew past the table of liquor. He quickly took out his own goblet, poured the drink into it, and gracefully went up.
He was in too much of a hurry to stay and drink anyway.
/more stomping/
Polar Knight eyed the liquor on the table as if trying to catch a mouse, poured himself a glass, and took a sip. He nodded and declared his approval.
"I like it."
Treasure Knight arrived shortly afterwards, greeting the old warrior politely with a muffled voice.
"Hrrlo, Prrlar Knirght." He said.
"Greetings, Treasure Knight." The Stalwart answered.
"Whrrt is thrrt?" Treasure Knight's non-anchor hand pointed at the table. "Crrn't srr."
"Liquor, beer, I have no idea. Mead? It doesn't taste like mead." Polar Knight put a giant fist on his chin. "It's still very good."
"Try."
Polar Knight shrugged, poured a glass for his comrade, and stepped aside, letting the diver step forward. He carefully handed him the glass of unknown liquor. Treasure Knight lifted his helmet up and held the glass to his lips to drink from it. The forces of malevolent fate caused his helmet to slip from his anchor, letting it fall and shatter the glass in half. The liquor in the glass went on the pillager's body instead of into the stomach, drenching the usually dry person underneath. Small glass shards collected around his hips, causing him to try and wiggle himself out. He only succeeded in knocking the table over and shattering almost every glass. Polar Knight swiftly grabbed the half-empty bottle before it could get to the floor, then briefly looked at the bottle and decided he'd bring it up to the dinner for the others to share.
"Frrk."
"I'm not a native speaker of English, but watch your language."
/after some mighty shovellin'/
Shovel Knight had no idea what on earth was the reason why a table, several used and untouched glasses, and a note on Japanese were just near the checkpoint. He wasn't going to trust calligraphy he couldn't even read. What's worse was that almost all of the glasses were shattered. What was the use? Was the Enchantress hoping he'd get drunk on the way to her? Heck no. He shrugged and skipped it, plunging himself on the dangers of the room above.
.
D is for drunk. WARNING: bad puns incoming. Reader discretion is advised.
"King Knight is part of a circle, because he is a monARCh." Shovel Knight giggled, followed by most of the Order's cackling, especially Tinker Knight.
"Oh, man, they didn't lie about your punslinging capabilities!" Tinker Knight clutched his stomach, belly muscles turning to steel. "Tell us more!"
"Here, mon ami,have more of my drink!" Propeller Knight drunkenly offered his goblet, which the Blue Burrower accepted. He sipped, placed the goblet down, eerie silence filling the room.
"Do you know why wolves are relatives of dogs?" The Knight of Shovel asked. "Because they say 'wolf wolf'!"
More chortling.
"Until now, Shovel Knight, you still tell bad puns." Polar Knight laughed along. "I don't regret meeting you at all."
"Tell a pun about food, hee!" Plague Knight requested eagerly, not quite drunk yet rolled with the puns. After all, the kid Reize told him something worse, and he laughed his ass off. Plague Knight's sense of humor was… questionably insane, to say the least.
"A dad tomato and a kid tomato were rolling in the kitchen one day. The kid tomato started to slow down, and the dad tomato squashes kid tomato a bit, saying… 'catch up'."
Seven out of eight merciless knights roared with laughter, capturing the attention of a certain red liquid samurai and the Enchantress herself. She watched from afar, wondering why she sought the help of these drunkards.
"Another!" Polar Knight threw his mug away, the glass shattering upon impact on a nearby wall.
Shovel Knight paused a bit before an imaginary bulb turned on. "Specter Knight floats into a bar. What does he order? Anything with a SCYTHE dish of garlic bread!"
The apparition in question glared furiously at the drunken blue shovel-swinger, and shook his head, quietly wishing he didn't attend the soiree and was still in the Lich Yard listening to his rambling and shy assistant. At least her rambles were less offensive than puns about him.
"Isn't that DEADLY for him?" Treasure Knight grinned stupidly before the entire room filled with the chuckles of the others sans Specter Knight.
"Also heard the Lich Yard's overpopulated!" Shovel Knight exclaimed. "I see the dead folks have a GRAVE problem!"
"Why are you all making the worst puns I've ever heard?" Specter Knight sighed.
"Oh, you're so gloomy!" Plague Knight cackled. "Lighten up, spooky ghost."
"Laughter is the SOUL medicine for your problems!" Shovel Knight injected as he chuckled more.
"You are so PUNNY, Shovel Knight!" Mole Knight praised.
"Thank you very much!" The blue knight paused as a joke flashed in his mind upon looking at Mole Knight. "Why is the archaeologist sad? Because his career is in RUINS!"
Laughter was about to ensue when Mole Knight stood up abruptly, causing his chair to topple backward. "What the hell did you just say about me, shovel wielder?!"
Shovel Knight repeated his joke.
"I… hate you!" Mole Knight jumped on the table and clawed at Shovel Knight. "DIE!"
"No fighting on the table!" Polar Knight scolded loudly.
Up next: E is for eggs benedict.