Chapter 31: A Wolf's Howl

Wood cracks against stone as Cressida's shoulder slams into the dormitory door in a full blaze. Her hands grip a hardcover book that she doesn't mind damaging.

"Merlin!" Sirius shrieks, knocking his head on the side of the bed as he jumps up from his trunk, shirtless and searching for something. His hair is still damp from a shower.

Cressida pays him no heed yet, her line of sight directed on the bed of James. "James Fleamont Potter," she growls. His eyes widen, scrambling up from his laze against the pillow to his knees. "You absolute bastard."

The back of the hardcover collides with the lower side of his shoulder repeatedly. He cowers away, shielding his face with his hands, legs kicking out in defence. "He-ow!" he burst out. Finally having some sense of relief, she stops, only sending a threatening gesture with it as he opens his eyes and uncovers his face again. "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"Hogsmeade," she breathes lowly. "Couldn't help yourself, could you?"

The confused and almost distraught features on his face transform into a not-so-guilty grin. "We just wanted to see how it was going," he defends.

"We?" Remus huffs.

"Those two nearly dragged us by the ear, didn't they?" Peter confirms with Remus. "I just wanted to go get a hot chocolate." He forms a pout, still reminiscing about it.

"Yeah," Sirius sighs. "James was really adamant about it."

Cressida doesn't need to hear James' blaring scoff to know that bullshit spews from his mouth. Spinning on her heels, she faces Sirius who is barely suppressing a grin behind tightly pinched lips. She launches forward, the sound of book hitting skin sounding through the room. "Don't even try getting out of this. Next time either of you go on dates, I'll be there to ruin them."

Sirius only grins wider, the signs of a smirk appearing. "You might have to wait a while to get Jamesy back then. Lily said no again today."

"Ah, so that explains why you wanted to ruin my day," she drawls, spinning back around. "And put a shirt on Sirius."

James rolls his eyes, his face flat and unimpressed. "She said no because she was busy with Marlene and Mary. And we didn't ruin your day, Cress. It looked like it went quite well from the looks of it."

Cressida swallows. She was having a good day. She could forget for just a few hours about her other feelings. Elias is everything someone could ask for, yet he still isn't what she wants.

"Did it not go well?"

Cressida lifts her head to James. He's sitting up straighter, nothing but concern showing in his eyes. "It went fine," she croaks. He only pinches his eyes further, sliding off the side of his bed. Without even saying anything else, not even giving him words with her eyes, he marches forward, enveloping her within his arms.

It's warm and comforting, even if she doesn't want it to be. She wants him to be cold and uninviting – even more so she doesn't want him to hold her at all, to have no desire to. Because then it would make not holding him back so much easier.

Her forehead rests against his collarbone, a hand laying against the back of her head.

Just as her eyes peel back open, another set of arms wind around them from behind as Sirius squeezes them tightly enough that her feet almost lift from the ground, bringing her to tired giggles. "Peter? Remus? You have an obligation to join now," James calls.

Their soft laughter and thuds of heavy footsteps can be heard. The whole bundle of their bodies sways at the final collision and Cressida smiles without restraint. This is what Elias had said – that they would be there for her even if she doesn't ask for it. And she would trade every other thing she owns, everything that is hers to give up just to keep this. "I hate you all," she croaks again. "And I told you to put a shirt on Sirius."

She feels his huff on her back and subsequently his arms fall away, shortly followed by the others, though this time she is left with a mellow smile. James takes a few steps backwards towards his bed, grasping her sleeve to pull Cressida long with him. Remus and Peter go back to their talking about the best chocolates, whilst Sirius goes back to finding his shirt.

"I can go talk to Griffiths tomorrow if you want," James murmurs. "Apologise for intruding."

Cressida shakes her head softly, leaning against the bed's post. "He actually thought it was funny." She can't be bothered to tease him for the offer of apologising, knowing it is a rare thing to come from any of them.

"So what went wrong then?" he questions gently, sitting down on the end bedframe.

"Nothing went wrong," she answers, watching fondly as the ordinary interactions happen around her. She laughs to herself as Sirius realises he put his shirt on backwards. "In fact, it went really right."

"So if it wasn't us, and it wasn't the date, then why are you upset about today?"

She can't look at him, the feeling of his eyes on the side of her face enough to make her stomach roll over. Everything feels like that; constantly rolling. Sometimes the good side faces up, sometimes the not so good. Instead of answering, she sighs theatrically. "Sirius, that's still backwards," she calls, shaking her head with folded arms. His head pokes out from the material, eyes narrowing as the tag once again is on the wrong side.

"Cressida?"

The voice forces her to look down and meet hazel eyes. They have the intensity of an ocean storm behind them, even when he's half asleep. How plain her brown ones must seem against Lily's blue. How boring her hair is when it blends in compared to the dark fire that you could see from a Quidditch pitch away. How ordinary her personality glows against Evan's fiery character. "Did Lily ever say anything about the present?"

James blinks hard, perplexed at the sudden change of topic. "Yeah, she came up to me and said thank you."

Her eyes go back to drifting across the room. "Good. That's progress."

Xx

"This homework is ridiculous," Sirius gruntles, flipping through a potions book. He and Cressida have taken up a spot in a small stone alcove in a quiet corridor on Hogwarts' west side. "It doesn't even make sense."

"Haven't done it, so can't help you," she drawls, skimming through a book on defensive spells.

"Bunch of help you are."

"What do you want me to do? Magically conjure the answers?"

"Alright, alright," he grumbles. "No need to be so agitated about it."

Cressida's eyes peek over the top of the book, stark and glaring at her studying companion. "Maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed if you would have agreed to study in the library like a normal person."

"But the view is so much prettier up here," he defends, gesturing to the window. Cressida looks out of it with a long sigh. It is a very nice view, indeed. One of the courtyard and the outer buildings of the castle. The Black Lake in the distance. "Oh look who it is." Cressida's eyes snap back to Sirius, his own turned thin in a scowl that's reserved for one person in particular. "Walking around like he even has a slither of decency."

Cressida closes her book, already knowing that it'd be smarter to have her wand out rather than a bunch of paper. Severus Snape stalks along the corridor from behind her, unaccompanied and already seething at the sight of them. His black hair is slightly shorter than Sirius', but thinner and straighter where her friend's has soft waves. "A Mudblood and a Blood Traitor," he hisses. "Not much of a difference between the two."

Sirius slides off the stone ledge with the confidence of James himself. His wand rests loosely between his fingers, tapping lightly against his thigh. "Still think your Dark Lord is going to accept you into his ranks? Please, last I heard, they don't accept greaseballs."

Cressida joins at Sirius' side, her wand held at the ready.

"Saggito vergoas."

Cressida and Sirius both duck out of the way as an arrow is conjured from Snape's wand tip, piercing through the air. It clatters on the stone somewhere behind them. Sirius rises first. "Impedimenta," he curses. The spell hits Snape's shoulder, knocking him backwards. His movements become sluggish and dazed but she knows as well as anybody that he wouldn't back down there.

Cressida raises her wand, pointing it at a statue of a knight's armour. "Piertotum Locomotor." The metal suit instantly begins clanking as it comes to life before their very eyes. Sirius grins down at her, impressed by the use of a charm well above their grade. As Snape finally gets to his feet, the suit of armour draws his sword. Snape scurries backwards, pointing his wand up.

"Bombarda," he casts. A single piece of the armour flies off, rebounding against the stone wall behind the knight.

Cressida grasps Sirius' arm, pulling him backwards. "Come on. We don't have time to get caught up in a scuffle today. Not with tonight."

The last sentence grabs his attention and with a reluctant sigh, Sirius stops resisting her tug, leaving Snape alone to fend off the armour piece by piece. "Nice spell," he praises.

A smile dances back on her lips. "It was, wasn't it?"

Xx

James finally whips the invisibility cloak off them as Madam Pomfrey is out of sight. The Whomping Willow stands still, but it won't for much longer. Sirius, Cressida, James and Peter hastily make their way over the grounds towards it under the cover of darkness. She eyes the tree carefully as they grow closer, but not even the brush of wind makes the branches twitch. Crawling in after Sirius, Cressida crouches, using her hands and feet to slide down the short dirt ramp.

James is already waiting at the bottom with his wand alight, casting a white light down the tunnel that goes on for much longer than the eye can see. Remus is waiting for them; his skin hollow and sunken. Peter comes in after her, stumbling slightly.

James nods down the long dirt tunnel. "Let's go."

And so the long walk begins, Peter also lighting his wand at the back. Remus has a tendency to walk in front of them. Cressida knows it's so they have the ability to run backwards if something goes wrong and it hurts her to think about that. Brushing past the others, her footfalls fall in tune with his, nudging her shoulder against his arm lightly. "We left Snivellous to fight off an armoured statue under the Piertotum charm," she says in an attempt to distract him.

He smiles tiredly with something that reaches his eyes more than it does his mouth. "I'm guessing you cast that one."

"Like Sirius would ever think of it, let alone manage to cast it," she sings, glancing over her shoulder. Sirius' face is shrivelled up, miming her words with childish mocking. She doesn't miss James' fond smile, but he stays silent. Cressida keeps talking, understanding that Remus clearly isn't in the mood to talk himself. "Speaking of spells, I really want to learn the Patronus charm. I've always wondered what animal it would be. James thinks his would be a lion, but I think he's more of a horse if you ask me."

"Nobody has," James calls. Cressida's head swings over her shoulder again along with a single certain finger rising.

"I don't think a horse is a bad guess," Remus says, causing James' face to fall into a straight-faced pout. "We're nearly there." He draws his wand, pointing it at the bolted lock on the trap door. "Alohomora." It undoes itself with an obnoxious click. Looking back down, he hands James his wand and jacket. The tension in the air is thick, but nobody wants to break it. "I'll see you guys in the morning." With none able to make a proper reply, he climbs up the short ladder and into the Shrieking Shack. He grunts slightly as he pulls the trap door over. "Don't forget to lock it," he adds before sealing it off completely.

Cressida raises her own wand, casting a locking spell on the deadlock. It clicks back into place; strong enough to hold a werewolf at bay. "That's always awful, isn't it?" she mutters rhetorically.

James forces his mouth upwards, blinking slow and grasps her upper arm, two wands in his other hand. "Come on," he whispers and he begins leading their journey to the other end of the tunnel once more where they'll hunker down for the night.

Nobody speaks on the way back though the silence is louder than any of their words have been. By the time they reach their spot, already howls wail through the air. James sits down first, his back scraping against the wall as he slides down it, resting his arms over his knees. Peter follows suit next to him, finding a position more comfortable to sleep in. Cressida wanders to the other side, sharing a rugged cushion brought down the year prior with Sirius. Grabbing his arm, she wraps it around her own shoulders, drawing her knees closer. His arm squeezes her softly, welcoming the embrace.

She watches Peter for a while, the little shuffles he makes and the way he occupies himself with the buttons on his sleeve. Then her eyes move to James. Once again, he's already looking at her. She holds the gaze for at least a minute before her lips turn up the slightest bit. "What?" she mouths.

His lips mimic hers. "Nothing," he mouths back. Another horrifying howl tears the air apart. Breath catching in her throat, Cressida shudders, closing her eyes to imagine the sound away. "I wish that storm would come sooner rather than later."

Cressida agrees, but can't bring herself to say so and keeps her eyes closed and rests her head against the front of Sirius' shoulder.