Chapter One - And So It Begins
"I remember hearing you once say that you hardly ever forgave," Elizabeth frowned, recalling the words issuing from the mouth of the hateful man with whom she was currently dancing.
When Mr. Darcy requested her company for this set, Lizzy could not find a reason to decline, especially if she wished to enjoy the attentions of other men for the remainder of the night. After her friend, Charlotte Lucas, reminded Elizabeth not to slight a man of ten time's Mr. Wickham's consequence, an idea entered her head. She would use this opportunity to question Mr. Darcy as to his treatment of his father's favourite. Wondering how to word her query, she attempted several openings, only to be irritated by Mr. Darcy's almost insolent expression.
"You boasted that once your good opinion was lost, it was lost forever. In fact, I recall you describing your temper as resentful. Once your resentment has been created, it is implacable," Lizzy stated, carefully controlling her expression. However, her antipathy shone through the facade. "You are very careful, are you not, in allowing your resentment to be created?"
Glaring at the woman, Mr. Darcy's mind began to question her sudden interest in this topic. Given the recent subject matter, that of George Wickham, he could see where her thoughts tended.
"I am," Darcy stated emphatically.
In the back of her mind, Lizzy wondered at the absence of her admirer. After all, Mr. Wickham had professed, only days prior, that he would not be driven away by Mr. Darcy. Indeed, he claimed it would be her current dance partner who would be shamed if they were to meet in public. Yet, Mr. Wickham avoided this ball while Mr. Darcy, who knew the militia's officers had been issued an open invitation, did not. Lizzy could not fathom why and it aroused her curiosity, for it did not show Mr. Wickham's character in a prudential light.
As the dance commenced, Elizabeth attributed her current feelings of hostility to Mr. Darcy's attentions and his obvious disdain of Meryton society. Earlier in the evening, Lizzy had noticed his unblinking appraisal of her upon entering the ballroom, and had determinedly ignored the gaze as she considered it one of censure. Charlotte also observed the unusual attentiveness but attributed a quite different meaning. Still, Elizabeth needed to force the stubborn, pride-filled man to open up to properly sketch his complex character.
When the next opportunity presented, Elizabeth continued her interrogation. "And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?"
"I hope not," Darcy answered, well aware of the very great prejudice he witnessed in Miss Elizabeth Bennet's manner.
From the very first, his acquaintance with Miss Elizabeth had not been easy, because Darcy had not been easy within himself. This summer, with the events in Ramsgate but a few months in the past, Fitzwilliam Darcy could not forgive himself. His very young and naïve sister had almost been taken in by a rake and swindler. He had not protected her as he should. He, who knew the deceit of fortune hunters, had allowed Georgiana's reputation, and indeed her whole future life, to become endangered. Darcy could not think upon it without abhorrence and regret.
With Georgiana now under the protection of his Aunt and Uncle, Darcy hoped to find some inner peace in the company of his good friend, Mr. Bingley. Then, to come face to face with Mr. Wickham in the street, not a seven-night ago, while in the company of the Miss Bennets' vexed him greatly. Knowing George Wickham's character, Darcy understood the rake would impose himself on the young ladies in some fashion. This evening's conversation went a long way to discovering what influence he held over Miss Elizabeth.
"May I ask to where these questions tend?" he demanded when they once again met in the dance. His expression becoming more severe by the moment, Darcy felt afraid. He needed to put the lady on her guard with respect to Mr. Wickham.
"Merely to the illustration of your character," Elizabeth answered, attempting an easy countenance and half-hearted smile to diffuse the atmosphere enveloping them.
Yet her mind became struck with the wise words of her sister. The same night Mr. Wickham happily shared his story of woe, Jane cautioned Lizzy to hold her opinion until she knew both gentlemen better. Elizabeth began to wonder, with Mr. Wickham's sudden business in town and such a short acquaintance, should she believe in him so implicitly? True, Jane's character wanted to see the good in all people and give the benefit of doubt. Her sister's goodness and kindness outdid Lizzy in every aspect. Her dislike of Mr. Darcy, voiced before Wickham told his tale, suddenly gave her much unease. Had she allowed Mr. Darcy's remark at the Meryton Assembly to colour her opinion of both gentlemen?
"I am trying to make it out," Elizabeth commented, a frown marring her brow.
Once again, the dance took them from each other. Darcy cast his mind back to the reason for accepting Bingley's invitation. From the very first, Darcy had decided not to attend social functions while in Hertfordshire. He wished only for the serenity of the country not far from his sister in London. Bingley had been most insistent he accompany the party to the Assembly Rooms at Meryton and meet the local society. In his friend's house, Darcy could hardly refuse, particularly as he suspected Miss Bingley would then also choose to remain behind with him. He had managed to sidestep many of the young women attending the dance and hunting a rich husband with his sombre attitude.
Bingley, as was his want, pressed Darcy to dance at that first public engagment. He declined to do so in the most animated language, prior to noticing Miss Elizabeth Bennett sitting not far away. He feared the woman overheard his caustic comments emanating from his foul mood and felt sorry, but not enough to make amends. She'd then moved across in front of him, not to gain his attention although she accomplished that task with her twinkling eyes and mocking smile. Going to her confidante, Miss Lucas, Darcy felt she laughed at him and his behaviour. He watched Miss Bennet the remainder of the night, only to understand her jovial nature better.
"And what is your success?" Surprised at this turn of events creating the contemplative expression on his partner's face, Darcy dare not question his good fortune. It seemed Miss Bennet had doubts about the veracity of Wickham's tale.
During the young ladies' stay at Netherfield, Darcy could detect little interest in Miss Elizabeth's countenance towards him. Unlike a woman of the ton, she didn't flirt or seek his attention, couldn't be swayed by his position in society and seemed ill-at-ease with his wealth. Given the chance, Miss Bennet flatly refused to stand up with him at Lucas Lodge, although in the politest manner possible. Her behaviour intrigued Darcy almost to distraction. Never had a woman treated him thus in his entire life. Her behaviour drew his attention and admiration as little else managed throughout his years in society.
Darcy began to watch the woman more closely every time they happened upon each other in company. He'd observed the distress her mother's vulgar behaviour caused the day she'd visited Netherfield. Darcy's eyes and sharp mind missed very little. The elder Bennet sisters would always suffer because of their relations' impropriety and low connections.
Yet he questioned this sudden interest in his temper. Exactly what tale of woe hadGeorge Wickham inflicted upon Miss Elizabeth for her to hint at a slight on his character? Darcy knew Wickham too well to doubt his silver tongue and charm. Gazing deeply into the fine eyes Fitzwilliam had come to admire, Darcy noticed confusion.
Conflict raged within him. Should he open his actions to this woman, allow her to see behind the polite manners of Mr. Wickham. What if Elizabeth Bennet were his next target, or worse, one of her foolish sisters? Darcy could not stand the thought of her being abused so, or her family ruined. Her character would surely forbid such behaviour. She'd seemed sensible, lively and quick of wit. Wickham could be just as deviously charming, but enough to tempt Miss Bennet into betraying her morals as a gentlewoman? This Darcy sincerely doubted. However, her younger sisters seemed easy prey. Darcy found the thought angered him further.
"I do not get on at all," Elizabeth confessed in a bewildered tone. Mr. Darcy's answers were not what Lizzy expected. He seemed eager to talk and yet said nothing of any great consequence. "I hear such different accounts of you as to puzzle me exceedingly."
"I wish, Miss Bennet, that you would not attempt to sketch my character at the present moment," Darcy felt impelled to make the request. With Wickham in the neighbourhood, his resentful temper appeared. Fitzwilliam did not wish his feeling towards that man to colour his admiration for Miss Elizabeth. Leading her from the dance floor, he initially intended to return the lady to her friend, Miss Lucas. "I fear the performance would reflect no credit on either of us," he stated, readying himself to escape her presence.
"If I don't take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity," Elizabeth responded with a slight smile. Dissatisfied with the conversation, she had not been given the time or chance to enquire about Mr. Darcy's dealing with Mr. Wickham in even a most general way. Still, Lizzy had only one side of this most puzzling story.
"I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours," Darcy stated. Suddenly choosing to change the direction of their destination, Fitzwilliam desired to further their private conversation, choosing to continue a topic that that might open him to ridicule. Remembering their discussion in this very house about pride, he found a quiet corner where they would not be easily overheard. "I fear there is more behind your words than a mere illustration of my character. Speak plainly, Miss Bennet, what is it you wish to know?"
"Your dealings with Mr. Wickham," she hissed, finding her heart leaping into her mouth at this unexpected turn of events.
"I see," Darcy frowned, wondering where to begin. However, Elizabeth mistook his hesitation as anger infused her countenance. "Tell me how he gained your trust? Under what circumstance did he impose himself upon you," Mr. Darcy demanded, suddenly on the offensive.
Taking in a deep breath, Elizabeth felt afraid. Something in Mr. Darcy's countenance spoke of ill deeds and bad will. Only Lizzy wasn't sure she wished to know who the perpetrator and who the victim. For the first time, she questioned her understanding of human nature by asking if Mr. Wickham might have deliberately misled her.
"You played together as boys," she said, watching Mr. Darcy's reactions carefully.
"Yes," Darcy agreed solemnly but with a hint of displeasure. "Do not trifle with me Miss Bennet. I have no patience where that man is concerned. He has caused my family a great deal of grief and I thought myself rid of him for good."
"You denied Mr. Wickham the living your father bequeathed him," Elizabeth, ourtaged by his pride, hissed.
To her great surprise, Mr. Darcy laughed. Not a happy sound, but one steeped in anger and frustration. "And this is your opinion of me? That I am a man able to hold another's livelihood to ransom? Well, let me inform you of a few facts I am sure Mr. Wickham has withheld for his own nefarious reasons. George Wickham had no intention of taking orders and lacks the character beholden to a man of the cloth. When my esteemed father passed, his godson approached me, refusing the living and seeking immediate gratification; I compensated him amply, as my duty to my Father demanded. I felt it to be the best compromise under the circumstances. I could not, in all conscious, place a man with the lack of every moral decency in the position of minister to the people of Kympton. In return, I insisted on him giving up the living, which I had Wickham sign legal documents to that extent, so all association between us could be dissolved."
"How," disbelief and shock coloured Elizabeth's words, "did you compensate Mr. Wickham?"
"With the sum of £3000," Darcy stated in a deadly tone. "Wickham expressed a wish to study the law which I hoped to be true. My father sent us both to be educated at Cambridge. His morals there left me in little doubt that his word could not be trusted. Indeed, any young man with such an education could easily make his way in the world. Wickham chooses the path of debauchery and indolence, reducing him to his current level of poverty, and leaving debts and ruined girls in his wake."
This bitterness, Elizabeth knew, extended from more than meeting Mr. Wickham in Meryton. "What else?" she requested. A flash of pain crossed Mr. Darcy's face and, suddenly, Lizzy wondered if she wished to know the full extent of her once favourite's misdemeanours.
"Last summer, Mr. Wickham imposed himself on my fifteen-year-old sister," Darcy closed his eyes as he recounted the barest facts in a mere whisper. "She believed herself to be in love. Had I arrived one day later, he would have eloped, gaining access to Georgiana's fortune and ruining any prospect for felicity in my sister's future life."
"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth cried. She understood the implications of such an act. Mr. Darcy would never make such a slanderous accusation against his own sister. "Mr. Wickham, then, is not a man to be trusted."
"Upon leaving Ramsgate," Darcy sighed, hoping he would not offend the sensibilities of a young woman, "more things were broken than could ever be fixed." Elizabeth's sharp intake of breath meant she understood his words and the meaning behind them. "I implore you to leave my sister's part in this out of any retelling. No shopkeeper or tradesman in Meryton should offer credit, nor any fathers allow him access to his daughters. Mr. Wickham is a man without morals or sense."
"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth didn't quite know what to say at this most painful confession. As with Mr. Wickham, the story had come out with little ceremony and there was honesty in all his looks. Yet, Lizzy truly believed Mr. Darcy's version. Only the near loss of a beloved sister could force this austere man to demonstrate such heartfelt emotion. Needing to think upon this revelation, Lizzy curtseyed, mumbled her thanks and scurried across the room to find solitude.
AN: I have taken this story down, re-evaluated it, rewritten parts, added to others and intend to publish twice a week. I hope it is more readable than the original. There is not much difference in the story line, more correcting errors. I am open to any grammatical, syntax or punctuation errors that need correcting as I intend to publish at some point in the future. Please PM me with any mistakes.