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Chapter 77: The Legendary Super Saiyan Broly
(shows the South Galaxy being destroyed)
NARRATOR: The south galaxy...has been obliterated.
"WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!?"
"WHY THE SUDDEN JUMP TO THIS!?"
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) Holy shit!
(cut to King Kai on his planet)
KING KAI: Okay, first of all, calm down.
"I don't think telling someone to calm down like this should be your first response," Lucy sweat dropped.
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) I was in the bathroom for five minutes, and now it's all gone! HOW?! WHO?!
KING KAI: Could have been Beerus.
"Who?" Levy raised both of her eyebrows in anticipation.
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) Oh, you know that motha's still asleep!("Still doesn't answer my question," Levy sighed) This is my ex, man! She told me she would hurt me in a way I'd never see comin'! WHY, EAST KAI?! WHY?!
"I don't think Kais have those kinds of abilities," Jellal said.
"And even if she did, I don't think it would've been responsible of her to do this," Kagura adds.
"Do you think it was Cell?" Lisanna asked.
"I doubt it. It seemed way more interested in the Cell Games to do that," Mira answered.
KING KAI: South Kai, listen.
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) I thought she meant like steal my Blu-Ray player, man.
KING KAI: South Kai! We are going to figure this out.
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) We need to get whoever did this, North Kai.
KING KAI: Alright then, listen. I got a guy.
"I wonder who it is?" Millianna wondered.
"It's Goku, Millianna…" Kagura sweat dropped.
"Oh."
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) What's his name?
(cut to Earth)
CHI-CHI: Goku! I'm gonna show you!
GOKU: Show me what?
"He's not a Super Saiyan?" Gray questioned.
"I'm sure there's a reason for it," Rogue said.
CHI-CHI: How to act like an actual adult.
"Aren't you about...how old is Gohan again?" Evergreen turned to Mira.
"He's 11," The demon answered.
"Aren't you about 11 years too late to do that?" Evergreen finished her earlier thought.
GOKU: But Chi-Chi, we're missing the wedding reception. We sat through that boring talk about love and junk for 40 minutes just waiting for the banquet. I learned how to count up to 40 because of that. That's ten fours, by the way.
"Natsu-"
"Yes, I can count to forty, Lucy," Natsu smirked in pride.
"Thanks to my teaching of course," Erza also smirked in pride. Her voice caused Natsu's smirk to vanish and be replaced by fear instantly.
Juvia was the only one in the audience who wasn't focused on Goku's ability to count. "Did...did he mention something about a wedding?"
CHI-CHI: And that is exactly why we're here. I don't want Gohan ending up the same, barely functioning man-child you are.
"Says the woman who married him," Laxus shook his head in disappointment at Chi-Chi.
"Really makes you wonder how they're still together," Evergreen pinched the bridge of her nose.
CHI-CHI: And I made sure to schedule this college interview on the same day as the wedding, because as we both know, getting you into a suit is like trying to give a cat a bath.
"HEY!" All of the exceeds to offense to that.
GOKU: But I like baths.
(cut to everyone else having a picnic in a different area)
KRILLIN: (signing a really bad cover of Don't Stop Believing)
Dooon't stop Belieeevin!
All of the Dragon Slayers gripped their ears in pain from Killin's singing.
"PLEASE STOP!"
"SOMEONE KILL HIM AGAIN!"
Hold on to that feeeeeliiiiin'!
Streetlight! Peeeeopleee-aa-aa-aa-olhuuuull-aaaaaahaaaaa!
MASTER ROSHI: Yeaaaaah! Sing it, girl! Ha ha!
"And he's already drunk," Lucy sighed.
"Yeaaaaah! Sing it, girl! Ha ha!" Cana drunkenly cheered with Roshi.
"And so is she…" Lucy sighed again.
OOLONG: Are you drunk already? The reception just started.
MASTER ROSHI: Pig, I am the pre-gaming master.
KORIN: Aw, sweetheart, I'm so sorry your best man had to skip out on the reception.
"IT'S THEIR WEDDING!?" Everyone screamed at the screen.
"JUVIA IS SO HAPPY! GRAY LET'S HAVE OUR WEDDING AFTER THIS!" Juvia began crushing her lover in a very powerful hug.
"GAH! J-JUVIA! STOP!" Gray felt his bones cracking from the pressure.
"They're going to have so many kitty babies!" Millianna clapped her hands.
"I'm not sure if that's possible," Kagura replied.
YAJIROBE: That's okay. I have my real best man right here.
KORIN: Daww, save it for the honeymoon.
YAJIROBE: Ho ho, that's not all I'm savin'...
KORIN: Is it a turkey?
YAJIROBE: You know me so well.
VEGETA: I came here for a banquet, and I find out it's a potluck, you cheap f**ks!
"I'm just shocked that you're even there," Freed said.
"He's a Saiyan, food is all you need to convince him," Levy responded. She took out a piece of metal out of her purse and tossed it into the air. Gajeel immediately bit down on it and ate it, she petted his head in satisfaction.
MRS. BRIEFS: Well, I'm surprised you came, sweetheart. An interspecies, homosexual marriage?
DR. BRIEFS: I just wanted to see what the gay agenda looked like in person. Frankly...not impressed.
"I mean, it's a wedding like any other wedding. I'm not sure what you were expecting," Kagura frowned.
DR. BRIEFS: (a spaceship lands nearby) Oh, great, and now immigrants-truly a liberal wonderland around here! (an army of soldiers run out of the spaceship)
"That looks like trouble," Happy said.
VEGETA: Do you fools have any idea whose planet this is?
SOLDIERS: (all of them kneel and raise their fists) All hail Lord Vegeta!
"Nooooo…." Minerva groaned in fear. Something was telling her that whatever was coming next was going to give her a headache.
VEGETA: Well good. Glad we're clear on that.
PARAGUS: It has been too many years, Prince Vegeta. Or should I say... (kneels) ...King Vegeta.
VEGETA: (eyes widen as the words "King" echoes in his mind) Never in my life have I needed something so much and never known until I received it.
"He's going to be insufferable, isn't he?" Makarov sighed.
"When is he not?" Gajeel asked, sarcastically.
(cut to Goku and Chi-Chi going through a college interview for Gohan)
INTERVIEWER: This is rather unorthodox. Your son is 11-years-old and homeschooled, but you say he's at a 12th grade level?
"He's a very smart boy!" Mira beamed at Gohan's achievements.
CHI-CHI: I'm a teacher first, and a mother second. Also a wife.
"Being a mother should be your first priority over being a strict teacher," Erza scoffed.
Everyone in the guild gave her an 'Are you serious?' look after she spoke those words. "What? What did I say?" Erza questioned.
"Nothing, just keep that thought in your head when you become a mother," Minerva told her.
INTERVIEWER: I see. Uh, speaking of your husband, Mr. Son Goku, was it? (Chi-Chi moans and looks at Goku) Can you tell us anything interesting about yourself?
GOKU: Oh, sure. Well, uh, I'm a Saiyan.
"He's being honest," Gray said.
CHI-CHI: Goku?
INTERVIEWER: Oh, so you're a minority! Because that could favor your child for enrollment!
"And Goku's immaculate talent with luck strikes again!" Yukino giggles.
CHI-CHI: Oh, uh, yes! Definitely a minority. There are only two and half more like him that are...
KING KAI: (telepathically) Goku! (GOKU: Huh?) Are you there?
GOKU: Oh, hey, King Kai! Long time no talk. How's Bubbles? (Chi-Chi gasps) Eh, not much. Just a silly school thing. No, not for me, for Gohan. (as Chi-Chi speaks her dialogue) Oh wow, an entire galaxy?
"And Gohan just lost his chance to get into that school," Macao laughed.
"School is overrated anyway," Romeo shrugged.
"What is school like?" Wendy asked him.
"It's a prison. Be happy you've never had to go," Romeo explained.
INTERVIEWER: Um, excuse me, uh, Mr. Son?
GOKU: Hold on, talkin' to God.("Every Priest in the world," Gajeel laughed) Wait, there are other Kais? (as Chi-Chi speaks her dialogue) When were we gonna talk about this?
CHI-CHI: Uh, he's very religious. We both are. Did you know my mother was Jewish?
"That's a tidbit of information that I didn't know. I'll add it to the notes," Levy said.
GOKU: One sec. I-I gotta take this. (pops out, which causes Chi-Chi to gasp and get up from her chair)
INTERVIEWER: Ma'am? Is-is your husband a magician?
CHI-CHI: Um...yes! (laughs) And for his next trick, he will convince you to enroll our son.
INTERVIEWER: Well, if he's as "in touch with God" as you say he is, perhaps he could work that miracle.
"Come on! When have you ever seen a man just disappear like that!?" Elfman complained.
CHI-CHI: (groans)
(cut back to the picnic area)
VEGETA: So you're telling me that you've acquired an entirely new Planet Vegeta for me to rule over?
PARAGUS: That is...exactly what I said, yes.
VEGETA: Ah, well then, it's official. Attention everyone! Your planet is a mudhole for entitled weaklings. And you're all worthless. (Baby Trunks is seen cooing) I'm going to claim my birthright.
"But, what about Cell!?" Yukino shouted.
TRUNKS: But Dad, what about Cell?
VEGETA: F**k 'em. (walks past the mysterious man, with Trunks running after him, but gets stopped by the mysterious man)
"This counts as running like a bitch!" Minerva shouted as if the Prince could hear her.
PARAGUS: Ah, so, you must be...
TRUNKS: My name is Trunks.
PARAGUS: Hello, Princess Trunks.
Everyone laughed at Trunks' being mistaken for a girl.
TRUNKS: I'm not a-
VEGETA: As my first decree, you shall only call her Princess Trunks!
The laughter skyrocketed after Vegeta made 'Princess Trunks' an official nickname.
SOLDIERS: All hail Princess Trunks! (all soldiers raise their fists)
"All hail Princess Trunks!" Natsu and Happy copied.
TRUNKS: Nooooo!
VEGETA: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
MASTER ROSHI: Yeah! Let's go find some space strippers! (tries to get on-board the ship, but gets pulled away by Gohan, Krillin, and Oolong)
"Someone get him sober please," Lucy complained.
"SPACE STRIPPERS!" Cana shouted in drunken joy.
"And her too."
OOLONG: This isn't part of the reception!
KRILLIN: How is he this strong?!
"It's called drunk strength. Never underestimate it," Gildarts laughed.
BULMA: Sure, just go back into space again. At least I'm not pregnant this time. Shit, I hope.
TRUNKS: (as he runs past Bulma) I'll drag him back by his non-existent tail if I have to! (flies up into the ship)
BULMA: *sigh* Don't try too hard... (the ship blast off)
"Seriously, don't try too hard," Laxus agreed.
(cut to King Kai on his planet)
KING KAI: Wait, "take this" where? Goku? Goku? (Goku pops in) SUPREME KAI ALMIGHTY! What is up with that monkey suit you're wearing?
TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES: That's highly offensive, sir.
"TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES!" Lisanna jumped for joy.
"IT'S A TALKING MONKEY!" Millianna jumped with her.
KING KAI: I'm a God, Bubbles, I don't see race, you filthy macaque.
TALKING MOVIE BUBBLES: Aw...
GOKU: (jumps out of the monkey suit and into his trademark orange gi) Ah... Alright! Who do I gotta beat up?
"I'm sure it's the only reason he agreed," Gajeel said.
KING KAI: That's what you're going to find out. Now normally I don't involve myself in the matters of other galaxies, but South Kai bought me my car, so I owe him a favor. Have you seen it? It's only got 63 miles on it.
GOKU: She's a Buick.
KING KAI: Chevrolet Bel Air, actually. Now, it's up to you to find out who destroyed South Galaxy.
GOKU: Okey-doke! I'll go look for clues!
"Wait, you don't even know where!" Lily yelled.
KING KAI: Uh, wait, look where? (Goku pops out...and pops back in after three seconds)
GOKU: *gasp* S-s-so-ho-ho! I can't breathe in space, apparently!
Almost everyone felt their brain cells decrease due to Goku's stupidity.
KING KAI: You're the salt of the Earth, Goku.
(cut to the spaceship arriving on a mysterious planet and then shifts to Vegeta with the mysterious man on a hover car)
PARAGUS: And now, my lord. Behold! Your magnificent new kingdom.
"It looks like shit," Minerva shrugged.
VEGETA: Pretty sure when you rule over a planet, the planet is your kingdom.
PARAGUS: How wise you are, my lord. How about we take a tour of your beautiful new palace?
(shift to Gohan, Master Roshi, and Oolong riding on the trunk)
MASTER ROSHI: Somebody get me a raw egg, two shots of Tabasco, salt, pepper, and a gun to shoot myself.
Lucy looked over to see Cana currently puking into a barrel after finally reaching her drinking limit for the day. The Celestial Mage shrugged and turned back to the screen.
OOLONG: You know what they say, liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Liquor before intergalactic travel, feel your insides unravel. (Master Roshi vomits)
"Who has ever said that?" Carla questioned.
(cut to Perfect Cell standing in the center of his ring when Goku pops in)
GOKU: Cell...
PERFECT CELL: Hm?
GOKU: Did you destroy the South Galaxy?
PERFECT CELL: There's a South Galaxy?
"Oh my Kami…"
GOKU: Forget you heard that.
PERFECT CELL: No. (Goku pops out) Our talks are nice.
"Well, that solidifies that it wasn't Cell," Levy said.
(cut to Vegeta's palace in New Planet Vegeta)
VEGETA: You call THIS a palace worthy of King Vegeta? First of all I demand more towers. Second, I demand more towels. And third, I demand more trowels. The brick-work on this place is a shit-show. (referring to a tall, scrawny figure) And who's this scrawny puke?
SCRAWNY PUKE: I'm a foot and a half taller than you, but, whatever…
VEGETA: What was that?!
SCRAWNY PUKE: I said I can't hear you from down there…
"Ha! Short joke!" Minerva giggled to herself.
VEGETA: Speak up, boy, I can't hear you from up there!
"Was that an insult towards your own height or his, because it honestly goes both ways," Gajeel said.
PARAGUS: Uhm, that is my son, Broly, my liege. Forgive him, he's a very... (Broly looks down) passive boy.
Wendy tilted her head in confusion as she stared at Broly. Something about him felt off to her, she didn't know what, but the boy's aura spoke of anything but passive.
VEGETA: Beta male. Got it. But, for the sake of the Saiyan race, he has my blessings to bed Princess Trunks.
Laughter erupted once more at the implications that Vegeta spoke of.
TRUNKS: Excuse you?!
VEGETA: Shut up, boy, think of the bloodline.
"Th-That's not how it works," Yukino said, trying to gather herself.
"Don't think Vegeta cares," Sting said.
TRUNKS: Do you even know what you're doing?!
VEGETA: I don't need to. I'm king.
"And there's the insufferableness," Makarov said.
TRUNKS: (as Broly approaches him) Huh?
BROLY: Your hair looks like lavender but smells like strawberries...
TRUNKS: Daaad!
GOHAN: Something seems really fishy.
"Wait! Gohan followed after...of course he did," Mira sighed.
KRILLIN: Yeah, Trunks doesn't even have a womb.
GOHAN: I say we investigate.
KRILLIN: Ha! Not that curious!
"Krillin…" Lucy shook her head in disappointment.
GOHAN: The planet...
KRILLIN: Yeah, yeah, I know…
"Then shut up with the dumb jokes," Laxus grumbled.
(cut back to Earth with Mercenary Tao screaming in horror at Goku's presence)
MERCENARY TAO: (screaming)
GOKU: I just wanna make sure if it was you who destroyed South Galaxy. Stop screaming if it was.
MERCENARY TAO: (continues screaming)
"Hmph, Guess it wasn't him," Natsu shrugged.
GOKU: Okay... I'mma let you go then. Good luck with your ass-assing! (pops out, cut to King Kai's planet) Man, King Kai, I'm stumped. I asked Cell, Mercenary Tao, Piccolo, Tenshinhan, and that monster, Pilaf, and none of them destroyed the South Galaxy.
"Wait, why did you ask Tien and Piccolo?" Bickslow asked.
"Well, they were his enemies at one point before," Freed said.
"But, they aren't now," Evergreen responded.
"It's Goku, don't even bother questioning it at this point," Laxus interrupted them.
KING KAI: Goku... I've been trying to tell you for the last two hours! (points to a direction) Go to New Vegeta!
GOKU: *gasp* There's another Vegeta?! I wonder if he's stronger than normal Vegeta... Eeeeee- (pops out)
"I'm pretty sure normal Vegeta would hate hearing that," Gajeel snickered.
"Which is why I hope he says it to him," Minerva said.
KING KAI: That man is going to be the death of me. (epic foreshadowing)
(cut to Gohan, Krillin, and Trunks investigating New Planet Vegeta)
KRILLIN: This place looked a lot better as a skyline.
TRUNKS: What happened here?
"It looks so barren and devoid," Sting said.
"There's something fishy about all of this and it isn't Happy chewing on a fish right now," Yukino added.
GOHAN: And why does it look like the day after tomorrow was yesterday?
KRILLIN: Hey, over there! Maybe we can ask one of these fine, indentured servants what's going on. (shows a group of servants working as slaves)
"Krillin, those are slaves…" Erza, Millianna, and Jella both frowned at the sight of it.
TRUNKS: Aw, crapbaskets...
(one servant falls down and starts coughing)
SHAMO: Grandfather!
Erza, Jellal, and Millianna stared at the screen silently, remembering scenes like this from their past happening frequently.
CONDI: Worry not, podling... I just inhaled a little bit of rust... (continues coughing as Gohan lands)
SHAMO: No, please! If you are angry, use your whip on me. I can take it…
"Poor child," Juvia frowned.
GOHAN: No, don't worry, we're not with them. We won't hurt you.
SHAMO: Oh. Whatever.
"Wha-"
GOHAN: (as Condi continues coughing) So, uh, you guys slaves, or...
SHAMO: Oh, yeah! A couple of Saiyans landed on our planet a few months ago, and transported us here against our will. And if we step out of line, well... (a soldier appears and kicks him) AUGH!
"Bastard!" The mages yelled, seeing the kid get kicked.
SOLDIER: Surprise, you worthless runt! It's time for your hourly beating! (whips Shamo)
SHAMO: Ugh! Oh, God, daddy!
"WOAH!" Everyone shouted in pure shock. Any tense from before was replaced by a very uncomfortable air.
KRILLIN: Whoa!
DAH DI: Uh, no. No, no, no, no, no. That's my name. It's actually pronounced "Dah Di". (whips Shamo again)
SHAMO: Huaa! Harder, daddy!
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!"
DAH DI: Now, that one was what you thought it was. (whips Shamo once more)
SHAMO: Ungh, yeaaah... (gets whipped for a fourth time) Ughh!
"STOP!"
CONDI: Please, I beg you! He is but a boy! Let me take it! It's MY TURN. (WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!)
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!?" Erza and Jellal shouted(Millianna is too innocent for the F-word).
DAH DI: Only after you lick my boot!
CONDI: Oh, you "monster"!
"NOOOOO!" Lucy started thinking about Virgo. She really hoped none of her spirits were watching right now.
"Is this why you keep asking Lucy to punish you?" Loke asked. He and the other Spirits had been watching from the very start. They just didn't want to overcrowd the guild.
"Yes, I take great joy in punishment. It only makes sense for my master to punish me," Virgo nodded her head.
"Hot," Loke started imagining Lucy in S&M gear.
GOHAN: Stop that! (attacks Dah Di)
DAH DI: Huagh!
"Thank you, Gohan," Mira smiled.
GOHAN: Leave these...odd people alone.
SOLDIER: Ha ha ha... We've been beating up children all day long. What makes you any different?
"Considering everything this kid has gone through and he's a Super Saiyan, I'd say you guys are screwed," Gajeel smirked.
KRILLIN: Because he's with me! (starts punching the air) Hii ya! Ha! Hua! Whacha-cha!
SOLDIER: Okay, kinky we can handle, but we're not being paid for crazy. We're out. (he and another soldier runs off)
"Good job, Krillin!" Happy laughed.
"Yeah, you're now deemed as crazy by an alien race," Lucy sweat dropped.
KRILLIN: Wawawawawawa!
GOKU: (pops in) -eeee-
KRILLIN: WAATAA! (accidentally punches Goku in the face)
GOKU: Aaaagaaghhh! Agh... And I just bit the inside of my cheek earlier. Augh…
"This is why you watch where you're punching, kids," Mira turned to the teens.
"Yes Ma'am!"
KRILLIN: Goku? What the heck are you doing here? Also, sorry.
GOKU: Oh, just looking for the New Vegeta. I followed old Vegeta's energy here and I found you guys.
TRUNKS: Uh, Goku? New Vegeta is actually just a planet.
GOKU: Aw, now you tell me! Who names their planet after themselves?
VEGETA: A goddamn idiot!
"He said it, not me," Minerva shrugged.
GOKU: Huh?
(cut over to Vegeta walking toward the ship he and everyone else arrived in with Broly behind him)
VEGETA: That's what I am for buying into this garbage heap.
"So, he's finally realized it was a sham from the start," Levy said.
"About time," Gajeel said.
PARAGUS: Please, my liege!
VEGETA: I'm not your "liege" you brown-nosing toad. You promised me a kingdom, but I have no subjects, no infrastructure, and a throne made of wood! What am I, the Space Pope?!
"At least there are no Popes here to get offended," Freed muttered.
PARAGUS: I beg of you, King Vegeta, please stay! For roughly...three-maybe three and a half hours?
"Why so specific?" Erza questioned.
VEGETA: And continue wasting my time? Oh, and tell your creepy brat to stop following me!
BROLY: What's your power level?
VEGETA: And stop asking that! NO ONE CARES ANYMORE!
"After Namek it really became irrelevant," Levy agreed.
BROLY: Mine's pretty big…
"How big is it?" Cana asked, staring down at Broly's crotch.
"Cana…" Lucy got sick of her horniness.
GOKU: (lands in front of Vegeta and Broly) Hey 'Geets!
PARAGUS: Oh, shit, it's Kaka-
BROLY: Hng!
Wendy flinched back from the sudden spike in Broly's aura. Her brown orbs scanned over to her fellow Dragon Slayers, only to see that none of them had sensed what she did. Which confused her as to why she was the only one who felt off about Broly.
PARAGUS: -ku! Goku. Hello, Goku. Have you come to join the rest of your marvelous race?
VEGETA: Or did you just come to see my new palace? It has six towers! Like a peasant!
"Six towers seems very grand to me," Lucy muttered.
BROLY: Hello... What is your power level?
GOKU: Eh, dunno. Pretty big, though.
BROLY: Mine too…
"Don't turn into another flirt fest," Minerva gagged.
GOKU: Cool! So, 'Geets, I'm actually looking for the person who blew up a galaxy.
PARAGUS: But who would blow up South Galaxy?
"Why do you sound so suspicious?" Freed asks.
BROLY: Probably someone with a really big power level...
GOKU: That's a good point. You've got a good point! What's your name?
BROLY: Broly...
GOKU: Good point, Broly!
BROLY: (smiles) Mmm…
"That just feels unnatural," Wendy felt a chill go up her spine.
TRUNKS: (arrives) Father! It's all a lie!
VEGETA: I know, a queen-sized bed? Paragus, you squalid f**k.
"This spoiled little shit," Laxus grumbled.
TRUNKS: No, Paragus has been fabricating this entire planet. From its palace to its people!
PARAGUS: Princess Trunks, hrn, perhaps...
TRUNKS: Okay, I'm putting a moratorium on that right now.
"But, I like that nickname," Lisanna whined.
TRUNKS: Father, this psychopath has been enslaving races from other planets to build your kingdom. (shows Gohan and Krillin landing with a group of slaves) Even the greenery is manufactured!
VEGETA: Paragus...is this true?
PARAGUS: My liege... Yes, it is.
VEGETA: My God... You're not the shitstain of a Saiyan I thought you were!
Nobody was shocked by Vegeta's reaction, they were just disappointed.
PARAGUS: Thank you, my liege.
TRUNKS: Oh, goddammit, Dad.
"What did you expect from the Prince of Assholes?" Minerva stared at Trunks.
VEGETA: You are now my Royal Grand Vizier!
"He is so infuriating!" Jellal gripped his hair.
PARAGUS: Ah! Big shoes to fill...
TRUNKS: Father! What this guy has done... It's in-human!
VEGETA: Yes, but it's not in-Saiyan.
"He's...not wrong," Levy sighed.
SHAMO: Actually, we much enjoy the slavery.
"And then there's this," Erza sighed.
GOHAN: Say wha'?
SHAMO: Yes. Being enslaved and exploited by another...stronger, strapping race, (puts on a seductive face) fulfills us completely.
"I never want to meet these people," Lucy decided right then and there that she would never participate in any S&M for as long as she lived.
KRILLIN: You know, I...actually kinda get it.
"With how much you get hit, I'm surprised you do," Gray said.
SHAMO: Although, it is strange he would force us to build a kingdom on a doomed planet.
"What?" Everyone questioned.
PARAGUS: (thinking) Oh, goddammit.
VEGETA: Explain, shitstain.
PARAGUS: To hell with this, I'll leave the bootlicking to the Shamoshians. Well then! You have finally unravelled my plan, King Vegeta!
"He...he didn't, the jackass completely fell for it," Gildarts said, stupefied.
"It was the race of masochists that revealed your plan," Sting added.
VEGETA: Okay...?
PARAGUS: This whole wretched planet will soon be encompassed by the cataclysmic comet, Camori. Wiping it, and you, out with it.
"So, this was a revenge plot against Vegeta. But, why exactly?" Levy wondered. She hoped that Paragus would explain it.
VEGETA: I'm confused. Am I being pranked? Cause I don't do jokes.
"Yet you are one," Minerva quipped.
PARAGUS: This is no joke! This...is my revenge!
GOHAN: But why?
PARAGUS: Because that bastard Vegeta left us both to die.
VEGETA: Sounds like me but that doesn't sound familiar.
PARAGUS: Not you, you self absorbed, blue-blooded snot! Your father. The true king. (shows Broly as a baby in the maternity ward) Mere days after my son was born, they realized his immense power level. A whopping 10,000!
"10,000!?" Everyone gasped.
"Wait a minute…" Levy's brain suddenly thought back to a previous event. She flipped through the pages of her note book.
VEGETA: Pff, yeah, well I was like, 20,000 as like a sperm, so, y'know.
"So, did it keep going down the older you got or…" Gajeel quipped.
PARAGUS: And so, threatened by the magnificence of my prodigy, the king ordered for him to be executed.
(shows a younger Paragus entering the throne room)
YOUNG PARAGUS: This is insane! Freeza's got us paying rent under his boot-heel, and you're just going to murder our Saiyan baby with a power level of 10,000? (gets grabbed by two Saiyans as King Vegeta approaches him) He's like a trump card, if the card literally flipped the table over and shot the other player! He would be of great use to Vegeta!
"He's right though, why the hell would you kill your greatest asset?" Romeo questioned.
"Well, considering that his name is Vegeta we can assume two things," Freed said.
"Either he's so self-absorbed that he doesn't want to get usurped by an infant or he's afraid that they won't be able to control Broly," Jellal finished.
KING VEGETA: My son, the planet, or me?
YOUNG PARAGUS: Yes! (King Vegeta blasts him) HUAAAAAAAAAAGH! GAHBHOOHUAAHYEAB HYUNNOBHUHA- (crashes off-screen)
Levy paused from looking through her notes. "Didn't expect that one to make a return," With that said she went back into her note book. She growled, realizing she had made too many notes.
KING VEGETA: Grand Vizier Nappa. I require your treasured guidance once more.
NAPPA: Stab the baby.
"He didn't even hesitate," Rogue said.
"Ugh...Nappa…" Lucy felt a headache coming.
KING VEGETA: Are...you sure?
NAPPA: Look, we've got a meeting with Freeza in one hour. So either stab the baby, or we have to cancel your 6:00.
"Should've cancelled that 6:00," Bickslow said. He remembered that King Vegeta would be killed by Frieza at that meeting.
(cut to the maternity ward with a silhouetted figure of King Vegeta picking up baby Broly, who's next to a crying baby Goku, by the foot)
"Wait, he was next to Goku? Why does that feel familiar?" Erza wondered.
"That's because it is," Levy announced. Everyone turned to her direction. "Remember when we watched Bardock's movie and he mentioned a baby with 10,000 power?"
"Oh, that was Broly wasn't it?" Erza said, knowing the answer.
"Yeah, I should've figured it was going to be important," Levy said.
PARAGUS: He then saw to my son's execution himself. With, well, less than success.
(shows King Vegeta attempting to kill baby Broly by stabbing him with a dagger, only for the dagger to break when it comes in contact with baby Broly's body, who shrieks upon getting hit)
"How tuff is that baby!?" Minerva shouted.
"We should be thankful that he didn't kill a baby," Kagura sweat dropped.
KING VEGETA: Son of an Arlian whore... Someone fetch me a better dagger so I may properly stab this baby! (baby Broly starts crying) Oh, good, now it's crying. To hell with this! (drops baby Broly to the floor with a splat) Just dump him in a hole with his father
(shows Paragus and baby Broly being left for dead in a garbage heap)
PARAGUS: Luckily, the king was as half-assed at murdering us as he was at raising you, Vegeta.
"Damn."
PARAGUS: (shows Freeza's Supernova colliding with Planet Vegeta and then shows baby Broly creating a force field to protect himself and Paragus from the explosion) And with Broly's magnificent power, we survived the extinction of our race.
"So, how many Saiyans overall survived Frieza's half-assed way of killing?" Gajeel asked Levy.
"Huh, surprisingly it's the number 7," Levy answered.
"Isn't that ironic," Gajeel chuckled.
GOKU: Wait, wait, wait, wait. So does this have anything to do with South Galaxy? Cause that's kinda why I'm here.
PARAGUS: Actually, yes. You see, one night while I was discussing the son of Bardock..
VEGETA: The scientist?
"Huh? He was everything but a scientist!" Erza proclaimed.
"Didn't he create the moon sphere for the Saiyans to turn into Great Apes?" Mira brought up.
"If that's all it takes to become a scientist on Planet Vegeta, then I'm not surprised Frieza decided to kill them," Laxus said.
PARAGUS: The very same. That night, I uttered a single word that triggered Broly. And he suddenly went wild! In his furious rage he exterminated the South Galaxy in its entirety.
Wendy gulped, her feeling about Broly being correct, she saw everyone else were finally seeing what she had been seeing the entire time.
"Wait, but I'm confused about something," Natsu brought up.
"What is it, Natsu?" Lucy asked.
GOKU/Natsu: What was the word?
"Why do you want to know!?" Gajeel barked at him.
"Aren't you curious about what set him off?" Natsu asked.
"HELL NO!" Everyone yelled at him.
PARAGUS: I... Why would I-?
GOKU: Is it "non-fat"?
PARAGUS: No! Why would it be-?
GOKU: "Diet"?
PARAGUS: This is ridiculous. Stop trying to trigger my son!
GOKU: "Freezer" with an "i"?
"Goku, stop trying," Erza begged.
PARAGUS: For God's sake...
VEGETA: First of all, Paragus, your seed couldn't compare to my own. And he's a filthy half-ling.
"It's a compliment...I guess," Yukino sighed.
TRUNKS: Love you too, Dad.
VEGETA: And second, I couldn't care less about any South Galaxies, or lack thereof. So, if you're done wasting everyone's time... Grab your friends, grab your shit, AND GO HOME, KAKARROT!
BROLY: Unnghh!
"Ohhhhh…." Everyone came to the realization of Broly's trigger word.
PARAGUS: Please do not say that again.
GOKU: It was "friends", wasn't it?
VEGETA: I said shut it, Kakarrot!
"Shut up, Vegeta!" Sting yelled.
BROLY: Agghhh!
PARAGUS: Please, stop saying that name!
"That's like asking him to stop breathing," Jellal said.
TRUNKS: Father, just call him "Goku"!
VEGETA: And disrespect my heritage? I will address him with the name given to him by the glorious Saiyan race! Kakarrot, Kakarrot-
"SHUT UP-"
BROLY: KAKARROOOOOOOOOT!
Everyone was suddenly blown back by Broly's scream. A wave of green energy blew its way into the guild, taking everyone off guard.
VEGETA: See, he's slow, and he gets it.
PARAGUS: I suggest we all run.
BROLY: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (screams and explodes, transforming into a mysterious Super Saiyan form)
All of the mages could only gape at Broly's transformation, surprised to see him transform into a….Super Saiyan(?).
"W-What happened to him?" Freed questioned.
"H-He's like some kind of Super Saiyan...but-"
"SO MUCH COOLER!"
Everyone turned to see Natsu and Sting standing super close to the lacrama. Both of them gushing like fanboys over Broly's transformation.
"Natsu! Do you see how cool he looks!?" Sting pointed at the humongous Saiyan.
"Hell Yeah! This has to be the coolest Super Saiyan yet!" Natsu pointed out.
"DON'T GET EXCITED OVER THE BAD GUY!" Lucy and Yukino slapped the both of them away from the lacrama.
"What do you think, Gajeel?" Rogue asked the Iron Slayer.
"I think he looks pretty wicked, but I'm not gonna get all giddy like those idiots," Gajeel pointed at the two numbskulls.
"Agreed," Rogue answered.
"What about you, Laxus?" Freed asked. He and the Thunder Legion watched their leader.
"I don't like it. Brings back bad memories," Broly's angry face reminded him too much of his old self. The Thunder Legion understood and sat back down.
"Wendy? Are you ok?" Carla looked up at her partner. Wendy hadn't moved from her spot, the female Dragon Slayer kept her eyes glued to the lacrama.
VEGETA: This power... Wha... What is he?
PARAGUS: He...is the Legendary Super Saiyan.
"Wait, but what makes it Legendary?" Romeo asked.
VEGETA: Oh, that's so cool.
"I know right!?" Natsu and Sting agreed with the prince.
GOKU: But why is it kinda...green?
PARAGUS: Because it's legendary.
"THAT'S SO COOL!"
VEGETA: (off-screen) AAAAAHHHHH!
BROLY: Hey, Kakarrot. You said your power level was pretty big, right?
GOKU: Yuh-huh... Why?
BROLY: Because my power IS MAXIMUM!
GOKU: ...Prove it.
"I would rather he didn't," Lucy shivered.
BROLY: HUUUAAGH! (sends out an energy burst)
GOHAN: (as Goku flies him out of the vicinity) Why?
TRUNKS: I woke up this morning for a gay wedding... I did not expect this. (flies off towards the battle)
"Who would've thought that a gay wedding would lead to a battle to save the universe?" Gildarts said.
VEGETA: H-how... How is he this strong? How many pushups did he do?! How many sit ups?! WHAT KIND OF JUICE DID HE DRINK?!
"Another callback," Levy quickly said.
"Is Vegeta shitting his pants over Broly?" Minerva was smiling too widely for Kagura's comfort.
"Because, Broly's just that cool!" Sting replied.
PARAGUS: This is not the result of paltry training...this...is destiny. For you see, Prince Vegeta. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore.
VEGETA: Nooooo...
"Came back to bite you in the ass didn't it!?" Gajeel was laughing his ass off.
"Frieza is laughing in his grave right now," Laxus laughed.
GOKU: Gohan! Trunks! Haaaaa! (turns Super Saiyan)
GOHAN: Hu! (also turns Super Saiyan)
TRUNKS: Huuuu ahhh! (turns Super Saiyan as well, shredding his mother's jacket) Wha?! Aw, dammit, my jacket! I only had the one! Augh, mom is gonna kill me!
"I think she'll be more happy for you to come back alive," Lisanna said.
(Broly charges at Goku, Gohan, and Trunks and knocks all of them away with one blow)
"That was so MANLY!" Elfman couldn't help but say it.
GOKU: Listen Broly... I don't wanna tell you how to be the Legendary Super Saiyan, but...you're not supposed to start all-out. You're supposed to start off small and then work up to it.
BROLY: I am starting small.
"Oh…"
GOKU: Oh. Good for you. Holy crap...
KRILLIN: Hey Goku! I brought the Shamoshians! (shows the Shamoshians in a big group)
"WHY!?"
GOKU: Why?
SHIMO: There's no way we're going to miss sadism like this!
GOHAN: Dad, what is sadism?
GOKU/Mira: Ask your mother.
BROLY: Yeah, you know your place. Under your master's feet!
SHIMO: (with a horny face) Oh, God, yes!
"Nooooo…" Lucy whined.
BROLY: You want the ultimate punishment?
SHIMO: (with a more horny face) Mmm, yeah!
BROLY: Then I'll just blow up your planet!
"That...might be going too far…" Lily winced.
SHIMO: (now with a horrified face) Guys? What's our safeword?
SHAMOSHIAN #1: Uhh, I think it was "banana"?
SHAMOSHIAN #2: No, "pineapple".
"How did you forget it!?" Evergreen cried out.
SHAMOSHIAN #3: It wasn't a fruit, it was a vegetable. (Broly fires a blast at the Shamoshians' planet)
SHAMOSHIAN #2: "Brussel sprouts"?
CONDI: "Broccoli"! It was "broccoli"-
(the blast destroys the Shamoshians' planet)
"Do you still think he's cool?" Rogue asked Natsu and Sting.
"Kinda…" Was their answer.
SHIMO: Why did we not know our own safeword...?
CONDI: It was lost to time...
BROLY: Princess Trunks…
Wendy shivered.
TRUNKS: Please, no...
BROLY: You lied to me.
"Run…" She spoke softly.
TRUNKS: I did no such thing!
BROLY: You dirty boy.
The Sky Dragon's face paled greatly at the implications messing with her brain. The teenager didn't know how to handle what was happening.
TRUNKS: (with dawning horror) Goku, get me off this planet right now! I'm serious! Instant Transmission! (Broly grabs him with his arm) Agh! (Broly rams him into a wall) Gah!
GOKU: Okay, Gohan. I was gonna save this for Cell, but I'm gonna need you to let go, and...
GOHAN: Got it. Leaving. (flies off)
"Best decision you've made all day," Mira felt thankful.
GOKU: Gohan? Where'd you go, Han? (Broly kicks him in the face) HUAAAA! (flies into a wall)
GOHAN: (thinking) It's okay, Gohan. You just find that ship we came here on, grab everyone else, and...
BROLY: (appears straight through a building) AHAHA!
"GOHAN!" The Strauss siblings shouted in concern.
GOHAN: (thinking) I should apologize to Mom if I get home. (Broly grabs his face and throws him through the wall of a building until he hits another building)
GOKU: Gohan! (starts running towards Gohan)
"SAVE HIM!" Mira roared.
BROLY: (appears in Goku's path) RAAAGH!
GOKU: Huaaoouu!
BROLY: RRUAGH! (fires a blast that hits Goku dead-on)
GOKU: Ahhhhh!
"AHHHH!" Natsu screamed.
BROLY: (prepares another blast) What's wrong, Kakarrot?! Don't you care if I kill your son?!
GOKU: Ugh... I'd rather you not? We have DragonBalls, but that's like a whole day.
"Are you fucking serious?" Mira felt like killing him. Her siblings flinched from her cursing.
GOKU: Oh! He's never met King Kai. Hey Gohan! You're gonna meet King Kai! (get sent flying upward by Broly's blast) Eeeeeeeeeee! (hits a building, causing a big explosion)
"He deserved that," Mira said.
(cut over to Paragus and Vegeta)
PARAGUS: You are probably wondering where this unfettered hatred for Kakarrot stems from.
"I am," Levy answered.
VEGETA: Not...really? Hating Kakarrot kinda gives me life, so-
(flashback to baby Broly getting mentally traumatized by baby Goku's constant crying in the maternity ward)
PARAGUS: It all began...
VEGETA: Oh, being ignored.
"Finally someone does it," Minerva smirked.
PARAGUS: ...when they were but newborn babies. Their cribs in the maternity ward were right beside each other. And Kakarrot cried. Terrorizing my son.
(back to present)
VEGETA/Everyone: And...then...?
PARAGUS: That's it.
"..."
VEGETA: Didn't my father stab him?
PARAGUS: Indeed.
VEGETA: Then why doesn't he hate me?
PARAGUS: Oh, no, I hate you. Well, I hated your father, and therefore you. Broly hates Kakarrot. Because he cried. A lot. For like three hours.
VEGETA/Natsu/Sting: But...that's really dumb. B-but he's so cool! But that's so dumb!
"And if Natsu's calling something stupid, then you know that it's dumb," Gray said.
BROLY: My power... My power is...MAXIMUMER! (fires multiple blast that destroys Vegeta's palace and the spaceship)
"Welp, there went their only chance at escaping," Freed said.
GOHAN: Dad...
GOKU: Yeah, son?
GOHAN: Holy fuck, he's strong.
"That's an understatement. He utterly destroyed you guys," Gajeel said.
GOKU: Yeah...and to make things worse...I think we blew your college submission...
GOHAN: Man, this just isn't my day.
GOKU: Eh, don't worry. I think it's your movie next.
"Really!?" Mira gasped in happiness
POOF!
A folded piece of paper poofed to life in her hands. Mira unfolded the paper and her face went blank at the large bolded word on it.
NO.
BROLY: But now is Broly! NOW BROLY! (fires a blast at Gohan)
GOHAN: Piccolo, help! (Broly's blast gets blocked by another blast and Piccolo (once again) rescues Gohan)
"Wow, that still works," Lisanna blinked.
PICCOLO: (gives Gohan a Senzu Bean) Gohan, are you okay? Do you need some juice? Did you get into that school you wanted?
GOHAN: Doesn't look like it.
PICCOLO: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Yeah, I blame Goku," Mira said after she burnt the small piece of paper.
GOHAN: How did you get here?
PICCOLO: I came when I heard you call.
GOHAN: ...How?
"Super hearing, but how did he get there?" Levy wondered.
(cut to Krillin, Oolong, and Master Roshi inside a ship, which flies past Comet Camori)
KRILLIN: Thanks for the ship, Piccolo!
MASTER ROSHI: We're taking this bitch to Space Vegas!
OOLONG: (simultaneously) Yeaaaaaah!
KRILLIN: (simultaneously) Wooooooo!
MASTER ROSHI: (simultaneously) He he he he haa!
"Well...that explains it," She shrugged.
BROLY: You! Green man! You're new. What is your power level?
PICCOLO: I dunno, give me a minute.
BROLY: BROLY DOES NOT LIKE TO WAIT!
"But, you'll do it anyway," Gajeel said.
PICCOLO: Goku, can we beat this guy?
GOKU: Uh! I dunno. I'm sure I'll pull something out my butt.
BROLY: AND IT WILL BE BROLY'S FIST!
"Kinky," Cana waggled her eyebrows.
TRUNKS: Probably…
"Kinkier!" She waggled them faster.
PICCOLO: Let's see how you fare when it's four-on-one, monster! (he along with Goku, Gohan, and Trunks fly up to confront Broly)
BROLY: Monster? Broly is not a monster. Broly is... Durh…
"A horrific nightmare?"(Lucy)
GOHAN: A genuine demon?
"Lucy's naughty underwear?"(Happy)
"HEY!"
GOKU/Natsu: A true freak?
BROLY: The devil!
VEGETA: (off-screen) OH, MY GOD, HE'S SO GODDAMN COOL!
Minerva couldn't contain her laughter and burst into a fit of hyena laughs.
(Goku and Piccolo charge forward to attack Broly accompanied with awesome music, which immediately cuts out as it shows Broly evading all of Goku and Piccolo's attacks, in which you can hear Goku and Piccolo grunting along with slapping sound.)
Everyone soon joins Minerva in her laughing fit from the clapping noises that were being made.
(This goes on for six seconds until Broly grabs both Goku and Piccolo)
GOHAN & TRUNKS: Masenko!
(Broly releases Goku and Piccolo and takes the combined Masenko before landing on the ground. Piccolo tries to attack Broly from above, but Broly headbutts and sweep kicks him. Gohan and Trunks try to attack together, but Broly manhandles both of them while running towards Piccolo and kicks him away and sealing the deal by firing an energy blast, which sends the Namekian flying all the way to a cliff nearby Vegeta's location and causes a big explosion.)
There wasn't much for anyone to say as they were engrossed in the action.
PICCOLO: (groans as he climbs up the cliff) What the f**k are you doing back here?!
"Good point, out of everyone I didn't expect him to be the one sitting on the side lines," Laxus said.
"Just proves that he's a really big baby," Minerva said.
VEGETA: I don't know what's going on anymore. He's so cool but he's so...goddamn dumb!
"That's how I describe Natsu," Gray quipped.
"SAY THAT AGAIN ICE-FREAK!"
"YOU HEARD ME FLAME-NUTS!"
"SHUT IT!" Erza smacked them both away. She sighed in exasperation, the two had gone a good couple of hours without arguing.
PICCOLO: (grabs Vegeta by the hair) Okay, Vegeta. While you're here having this "crisis", we're out there getting beaten into a bloody paste!
VEGETA: But you don't understand, the Legendary Super Saiyan, is motivated by a crying infant! He is a literal giant f**king baby!
PICCOLO: So, kind of what you're being right now?
"Call him out, Green Man!" Minerva shouted.
VEGETA: You're just mad you're not the Legendary Super Namekian.
PICCOLO: Alright, bye Vegeta.
VEGETA: (as he falls to the ground) Byyyyyye... (lands on a building below)
(cut to Broly walking through smoke with booming footsteps)
GOKU: Hey Broly! Ka... Me... (Broly grabs him by the hair) Ah! Oh wah!
"No fair! You're supposed to wait for him to finish saying the line!" Natsu shouted, angry.
BROLY: You were sayin'.
GOKU: (muffled) I am Saiyan! Hu hu hu! (Broly sends him flying with a punch) Ah aughh... (hits the ground and shifts to the ground crumbling around Vegeta)
BROLY: This all you got, Kakarrot? Broly is disappointed. Kakarrot killed Freeza. Kakarrot's supposed to be strongest. But now Broly's strongest. And now YOU DIE!
VEGETA: Excuse you.
BROLY: Excuse Broly?
VEGETA: You've been ignoring someone this entire time.
BROLY: Broly's wife?
"Well, he was the one who killed Frieza," Levy said.
TRUNKS: Well, technically, I was the one who killed Freeza.
BROLY: That's hot.
Wendy stiffiend.
VEGETA: No, you mouthbreather! You have been ignoring your king!
BROLY: What is a king to a God?
"Honestly a good comeback," Gajeel had to hand it to Broly.
VEGETA: And what is a God...TO A NONBELIEVER?! (turns Super Saiyan) HEAAAAAAAAAAA- (Broly shuts him up by lariating him into a wall, which creates a massive crater)
The entire guild erupted into laughter at Vegeta's failed attempt at fighting back.
BROLY: Do you believe now?
VEGETA: (muffled) Uh-huh. (Broly lets go of his face) So cool... (turns back to normal and falls)
BROLY: Now, Kakarrot... KAKARROT! KAKARRROOOOT!
"And now he can only speak one word," Freed said.
PARAGUS: He has devolved into only saying a single word. (thinking while getting inside a space pod) Time to hit the ol' cosmic trail…
"You're really gonna run after starting all of this!?" Makarov roared.
BROLY: KAKARROT?
PARAGUS: (thinking) Oh. (sees Broly approaching the space pod) Hi son.
BROLY: KAKARROT.
PARAGUS: N-no, i-it's your father. I was just prepping this pod to leave, before the comet hits.
"A pod that only fits one person?" Rogue raised an eyebrow.
BROLY: KAKARROT. (grabs the space pod)
PARAGUS: Yes, true... It's a pod meant for one person, but...
BROLY: KAKARROT! (crushes the space pod)
PARAGUS: Broly! Be a good boy and show daddy the love he has shown you.
BROLY: HUG. HUUUUUUUG. (crushes the space pod)
"Oh, he could still say other words," Levy acknowledged.
PARAGUS: (as he gets crushed inside the space pod) Oh, nonononono!
BROLY: HEAAAAUNGH! (hurls the space pod at Comet Camori, which explodes upon contact with the comet)
Nobody felt bad for Paragus, he had started this entire conflict and got exactly what he deserved.
BROLY: Kakarrot.
GOKU: Okay, guys... Be real with me... Is this the worst, or what?
"Honestly yeah," Natsu agreed. The whole cool thing with Broly had started to wear off after a while.
"At this point just end it already," Sting said.
PICCOLO: Frankly, at this point...I wish we could open up the Dead Zone and bring back Garlic Jr..
"He'd be a lot more tolerable than Broly screaming Goku's name," Laxus agreed.
TRUNKS: Can't believe I'm saying it, but I'll take some more Androids, please.
"Juvia would rather deal with another Android 13 than Broly," Juvia sighed.
VEGETA: And I'd rather get kicked in the dick...a thousand more times, than hear that idiot scream Kakarrot's name again.
"And I'd rather watch you get kicked in the dick a thousand more times, than hear that idiot scream Goku's name again," Minerva said.
BROLY: (off-screen) KAKAROT!
VEGETA: (groans in frustration)
GOHAN: I'd even take Turles. And he was just an evil version of my dad.
"His hatred for Christmas was a lot better," Wendy agreed.
VEGETA: Wait, that guy with the tree? Is he alive?
GOKU: Not anymore. Also that Wheelo guy. He was nice...
GOHAN: Oh yeah... Too bad he died of brain cancer…
Everyone who knew about Wheelo lowered their heads in respect for a short period.
GOKU: Cool... Then I'll cut to the chaste... Give me all of your energy. Right now. I'll end it in One Punch, man.
PICCOLO: (sends his energy to Goku) Done.
TRUNKS: (sends his energy to Goku) Doing it.
GOHAN: (sends his energy to Goku) Please make it end.
GOKU: Now Vegeta... I know you're probably not going to-
VEGETA: (sends his energy to Goku) F**k it. You have it, just go.
"JUST END THIS ALREADY!"
GOKU: Thanks, best buddy!
VEGETA: No. (collapses).
(Broly screams and charges at Goku, who does the same. Broly prepares to throw another punch at Goku.)
GOKU: HEY, BROLY! SAY MY NAME! (lands a clean punch at Broly's abdomen)
BROLY: HUUNGH? (shows a brief flashback of baby Broly getting tormented by the cries of baby Goku and then back to the present with Goku delivering the deadly blow to Broly) KA...KAA...ROOOOOOOOOTTT!
Natsu smirked at the ending, remembering how his final fight with Acnologia ended.
GOKU: Victory for Go- (get caught in the explosion by Broly) Huaaaaa!
(cut to New Planet Vegeta getting obliterated by Comet Camori and then to the far reaches of space with a Capsule Corp. spaceship popping in)
"Oh thank Kami!" Everyone sighed in relief.
KRILLIN: HOLY SHIT!
SHAMOSHIAN: Ohh, it's so tight!
"Noooo…"
PICCOLO: Okay, just gonna drop this one out there, but, earlier, nobody brought up Slug and I feel that's kind of racist.
"You didn't mention him either," Mira said.
OOLONG: What are these things and why is one grinding on me?
SHAMOSHIAN: Step on my genitals!
"GET RID OF THEM!" Lucy screamed.
(cut to King Kai on his planet)
KING KAI: There you go, South Kai. Your galaxy has been avenged.
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) ...But it's still gone.
KING KAI: Sorry, but ain't no DragonBalls that'll bring that back. ...I think.
"Yeah, that does suck. That's how Trunks feels," Levy said.
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) But what about the Otherworld Tournament coming up?
KING KAI: Well, now you have a lot more options.
SOUTH KAI: (telepathically) ...That's f**ked up, man.
"Yeah, but at this point…"
("Broly Chronicles" plays as the ending credits roll)
Broly's legend first began in 1993.
With biceps bigger than Goku's head and a heart that longed to be free.
Broly, Broly, Broly... Why are you so strong?
Your power level is twice as high, as your Saiyan hair is long.
Broly was a motherf**ker.
Stronger than that robot trucker.
"But is he stronger than Cell?" Natsu asked.
"Let's not open that can of worms," Lucy told him.
Broly's enemies are done!
BROLY POWER MAXIMUM!
Yeah!
That's it, everybody! That's Broly!
When Broly, Broly done!
Don't even-don't even ask anymore.
Ju-just subscribe and enjoy!
And I'm out!
"Well, that was weird," Gray said. Everyone agreed with him, but the song was good.
(cut to Goku popping in with Gohan outside near their house)
GOKU: Alright. Let's see if we can just sneak into the house and...
CHI-CHI: (emerges from behind the hanged laundry) (to Gohan) ROOM, NOW!
"Oh, she's pissed," Macao winced.
GOHAN: Okay! (runs inside)
GOKU: Oh, hey, Chi-Chi! Gohan not make it in?
CHI-CHI: Oh, no, he made it in! After a sizable donation from my father!
"Oh, thank goodness," Mira released a breath of relief.
GOKU: Good! Man, I'm glad we come from money!
CHI-CHI: I come from money, Goku! YOU come from a race of idiots!
"Ok, that's kinda racist," Freed said.
GOKU: I sure do, Chi-Chi. I sure do. (screen slowly zooms in on Goku's face)
CHI-CHI: I want a divorce.
GOKU: Me too, I'm starving!
"Let's hope they don't get a divorce," Erza sighed.
Chapter End
NOTE: No, they will not watch Bojack, don't even bother asking.
Next up is the Z-fighters killing Santa.