Chapter 41: James Knows
Cressida points to something in the Potions book as she and Peter work together on the homework due by the coming Monday. Remus lies in the bed to their right, fast asleep as the call of the moon splits him. James is lazing on his own bed, playing with his snitch quietly – almost in his own entire world. Sirius is also currently napping, laying exactly how he was when he first dropped onto the mattress. It is a quiet afternoon, to say the least.
Peter reads over the textbook, double-checking his own parchment then scrawls something down, showing it to Cressida once he finishes. She reads over it, scrawling a copy of his words as her own. The sound of the quills is the only thing they can hear other than soft snores.
The anticipation of the night to come is reaching all of them in their own ways. Peter constantly chews his cheek, blinking more rapidly than usual. Remus has little idea of what is to come but already suffers from his own afflictions. Sirius becomes snappier – as he was to her earlier that morning. He's not the most pleasant person to be around during times like this, but his friends are hardly going to step away from him. And James busies his mind with mundane tasks, thinking and keeping to himself.
Feeling her patience for potions coming to an end, Cressida places her homework off to the side. "I think I'm done for the day," she murmurs to Peter. "Do you want a snack or anything? I think I might head to the kitchens."
"I'm fine, thanks," he mumbles back with a short smile. Cressida nods in acknowledgement, shifting off his bed as quietly as she can. She first turns to Remus, debating whether to rouse him to see if he'd like anything but decides to leave him be for the time being. Instead, she wanders over to James' bed, leaning against the post. He pauses playing with his snitch, gently smiling.
"Anything from the kitchens?" she questions softly, the skin of her temple pulling up against the friction of the wood. "I'll pay."
James laughs silently at her attempted joke, running his tongue over his lips. "A ham and cheese sandwich if you remember. Do you want me to come with you?"
Cressida exhales slowly, leaning more of her weight onto the post while she contemplates the offer. "As long as you're quiet. I'm not really in the mood for talking."
As though to show his devotion to her request, his lips seal. While he pulls on some shoes, Cressida tiptoes towards Sirius, crouching by the foot of the bed where his head is. Reaching out, she brushes the loose hair away from his head, smiling as she knows he won't let her dote once he wakens. She wouldn't want to be overbearing.
"Sirius?" she calls to awaken him, jostling his shoulder. His eyes flutter open ungracefully, his breath catching. She waits for a moment to let him gather his bearings. "I'm going to the kitchens, you want anything?" He blinks slowly, eyes hazing around to take in the room. "It's going to be a long night," she reminds him. They still have dinner to come, but not for another few hours and she'd rather have some extra food in her stomach.
He nods stiffly, using his elbow to push himself up. Cressida leans back, resting on her haunches as he sits over the edge of the bed. Rubbing his eyes, Sirius takes another long breath as he fully wakes. He goes to answer, but his eyes dart way above her head. Cressida glances over her shoulder, nearly yelping as a pair of legs are right behind her. Huffing away her shock, she looks back to Sirius.
"I'm not really hungry," he mumbles, sniffing hard. Cressida observes him for a moment longer, already deciding that she'll bring him back something anyways as she will for Remus.
"Alright," she says despite her intentions. "Sorry for waking you."
Sirius shakes his head half-heartedly. "It's fine," he whispers.
Cressida smiles tightly, turning around to glare at James for the scare he gave her. He already has a humoured expression. Looking her up and down, he says, "Didn't mean to frighten you."
Cressida looks him up and down the same way. "I'm sure," she drawls. "Let's go before Sirius awakens enough to curse me for disturbing his nap." Her smile grows as Sirius tries to hide his amusement behind a glare. "I know you love me," she taunts, reaching out to scuffle his hair.
Sirius evades her hand, pushing it away with a grumble, leaving Cressida to huff to James. As she requested, the journey to the kitchens is quiet and uneventful. James even ignores a group of Slytherins that have been making trouble with them lately. Both Sirius and James had detention just a few days ago because of them.
Once they arrive at the house-elf run kitchen, Cressida puts in her request and they dutifully begin retrieving it. James leans against the opposite counter to her own, arms folded across his middle. He's wearing a light, grey shirt and dark washed jeans – one of the more casual looks he's usually found in within his own home. At Hogwarts it's typically trousers with collared shirts.
"I know Remus likes Lily." Cressida doesn't know if she just imagined him saying that or the words actually left his lips. All she can do is stare at him with eyes wider than an owl. James purses his lip with a bitter smile. "I know you and Sirius know."
Cressida drops her gaze to the floor while her head runs wild. What does she say to him? What does he want to hear? What is there to say? Forcing her eyes back up, James is still smiling, the bitterness transforming into something remorseful and soft.
"I'm not accusing you of hiding anything," he chuckles, though it sounds anything but mirthful. "I just don't want you to think I'm oblivious to my friend's feelings. I know you all too well."
"I'm not sure what to say," whispers Cressida. Boy is she terrified.
James sniffs hard, scuffing the top of his shoe into the floor. "Nothing, I suppose. I just wanted to tell you." Cressida nods awkwardly, chewing her tongue. "I think Lily likes him as well."
That – that she does know how to respond to. "She doesn't," she quickly counters. James raises a brow, half asking her to say more, half displaying his doubts. Cressida kicks off the bench she's leaning against, sauntering to the other side where he stands. "It's some sixth year Hufflepuff at the moment," she continues lightly, shrugging her shoulders in an off-handed manner. "They were talking about it just a few days ago when they thought I was asleep. I know it's not you, but, it's better than watching the person you love fall for your best friend."
"I never said I loved her."
Cressida tips her head back and to the side, rolling her eyes as she nudges his side with her elbow. "You don't need to say it. You wouldn't do what you do if you didn't." She watches his reaction to confirm her own words. James can't hold her gaze, even readjusting his glasses as a reason to ignore her gaze. "Besides, crushes die out over time. I reckon over the holidays when he doesn't see her, he'll forget about it."
"Perhaps," he sighs, unfurling his arms. "I don't really see them together if I'm being honest."
"Are you just saying that because you don't want them to be or-"
James cuts her off with a quick shake of his head. He smiles softly, looking around the kitchen once more. "It has nothing to do with who I see Lily with. I always saw Remus with someone more…rebellious. More devil-may-care."
Cressida's mouth forms a crooked smile, imagining it for herself. "Really?" Humming, she pulls her lip between her teeth. "I can see it actually. Someone who presses his buttons, but he has the patience of a mother for." She giggles at her own description.
"It'll be a strange match, and I can't wait for the wedding." James smiles from one side of his mouth as he always does, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "Will you be my date to it?"
Cressida purses her lips, shaking her head with faux regret. "Sirius and I made a pack years ago that we would go together to anything where we needed to bring a date. Besides." She ducks out of his arm, heading towards the two house-elves as they bring three plates and drinks over. "If you keep badgering Evans, I'm sure by the time Remus gets married you'll at least be able to ask her platonically."
Xx
Cressida and James quietly open the door to his dorm, plates and mugs floating around them at the direction of her wand. The three of them are almost exactly how they left them. James heads to his own bed with a drink and sandwich in hand while Cressida guides a plate and a mug of tea towards Remus' bedside table. With a gentle hand, she rustles his shoulder to awaken him, motioning to the food with her eyes once he does. Then she tosses Peter and apple from her pocket before heading towards Sirius'. He's pulled up against his headboard, eyes pointed out towards the large window.
Cressida plucks a small plate from the air, filled with a few crackers and cheese chunks. He stares at the plate as she offers it, breathing deeply. She knows he hates that she's brought him food specifically against his request. But Cressida can deal with that annoyance, knowing that he's been cared for. Eventually he takes it with a meek smile of thanks and goes back to daydreaming.
Pulling down her own plate from the air, Cressida is thinking of just taking a seat on the stone windowsill. But something pulls her towards James. 'Something', she scoffs mentally. To both her annoyance and delight, James gestures to his bed with his chin as an invitation to join.
"Sirius has the right idea," he whispers to her sometime after they all finish eating. "Get some sleep in." Cressida glances around, noting how they've all almost fallen back asleep. She could do with a nap. Nodding, she braces her hands on the edge of the mattress to retreat back to her own room, but a soft hand grasps her arm. James leans forward, dropping his grip. "You don't have to leave," he says. "I'll wake you up before dinner. I've got some things I want to do anyway." He smiles again before sliding off the bed and wandering out of the dorm.
Cressida stays seated up in the bed for a little while longer, sorting through the pile of thoughts that just keep growing in her head. She wants to talk to Sirius, but by the looks of it, he's still in a 'fuck the world' sort-of headspace and talking to him would only do them both worse.
"Do you know what James is doing?" she calls out to him anyway.
Sirius glances to the door then back at her, shrugging. "No idea."
Cressida nobs feebly, wishing she'd followed out after him instead of taking his advice to stay put. With nothing else to do but wait for the night to come, Cressida submits to the fact that she should get some sleep in. Pulling the maroon throw rug up and over herself, she settles down on his pillow with her knees tucked close.