NOTE: I do want to thank you all for supporting me all this time. It really does mean a lot to know that you guys are enjoying this and that I'm not just wasting my time on it.
Also, don't suggest anything more, please. This isn't that your suggestions aren't good, but I have the finale of this story all figured out, so please just sit back and enjoy.
Review and Enjoy!
Chapter 80: Cell Vs(Part 2)
Cell Vs. Light Yagami
(Scene starts with Light Yagami and Ryuk walking towards Perfect Cell).
"What's with the crazy abundance of teenagers wanting to walk towards their deaths?" Gildarts asked.
"Young and stupid," Makarov answered.
PERFECT CELL: Oh...what am I hearing right now and can I buy it on Amazon?
LIGHT YAGAMI: "Perfect Cell", huh? What a joke.
"Considering the high body count this bug man has, I wouldn't call it a joke," Freed responded.
PERFECT CELL: Well, hello there, young man! Do you need help with your thesis? Well, here's a hypothesis for you. (Light Yagami starts writing in his notebook).
"Uh? What's the notebook for?" Levy asked.
"Yeah! Get to punching or something!" Natsu shouted.
PERFECT CELL: "Cell will kill me if I don't turn my men's wearhouse-looking ass around and march out of his ring!" For evidence: I provide this squirrel. (Cell fires an energy blast, obliterating the squirrel's head).
"ANIMAL ABUSE!" Happy shouted.
"EVIL!" Lisanna also shouted.
"It wasn't a kitty, but a poor squirrel," Millianna moured.
PERFECT CELL: The conclusion is: Yes, I will kill you. (Light finishes writing Perfect Cell's name in his notebook) Did you get that one down?
"What's the point of writing Cell's name?" Lucy asks, confused like everyone else.
LIGHT YAGAMI: I am no mere schoolboy. You're speaking to the God of this new world.
"Does this kid not have friends or…?" Cana questioned.
Natsu grumbled at Light's pretentious claim. It reminded him of Mard Geer and Acnologia.
PERFECT CELL: Wow! OK! And I thought it was a little gaudy when I said it. (chuckles) Then suddenly Justine Timberlake straddles up with his tie too tight and locks so luscious. That for the ladies, or do you go to an all boys school and meet with the other students behind the bleachers?
"To be fair, "Perfect Cell" is a little gaudy," Freed said.
"Anyone referring to themselves as the "Perfect Lifeform" is gaudy," Gajeel said.
LIGHT YAGAMI: Hrmm…!
PERFECT CELL: Naw, but seriously, why are you here?
"To kill you I guess," Sting responded.
PERFECT CELL: Taking photos for Snapchat? "Well, come here, fam, let's get lit! Get in here, we'll take some selfies!"
"Cell should never talk like that again," Romeo cringed.
"Agreed," Wendy nodded her head.
PERFECT CELL: "First one will be serious! Second one we'll make a funny face and put a sweet filter on it! An-" (Cell's face twists into a panic) Did you-did one of my hearts just stop?
"You have multiple hearts!?" Levy gasped.
"Wait, how did its heart even stop?" Carla asked.
LIGHT YAGAMI: (Chocked gasp)
PERFECT CELL: Did you just use a magical notebook given to you by a Death God to give me a heart attack?
"Oddly specific, but it's the only thing that makes sense at this point," Levy shrugged. She didn't feel like questioning it at this point.
LIGHT YAGAMI: (Looks at Ryuk) Ryuk? (See's Willaim Dafoe's face smiling creepily, upon its face as it explodes, taking Light Yagami with him) AAAAAAAAGHH!
"And that's another teenager dead," Laxus said.
"Really shouldn't be too relaxed about that," Lucy sweat dropped.
PERFECT CELL: Ah, damn it, I should have said "Zac Efron".
CELL VS. Saitama & Genos
PERFECT CELL: (Thinking) I cannot believe we're making more of these instead of episodes…
"Exactly! Just get to the Cell Games already!" Natsu complained.
PERFECT CELL: (Gasps) A theme song, that's what I need! A BADASS theme song for MY Cell Games: Presented by HETAP! I wonder, could they get me JAM PROJECT?
"Who? And of course he had to mention Hetap," Levy rolled her eyes.
"Sponsors!" Happy shouted.
PERFECT CELL: Well, on this short of time frame...What day is it anyway?
(Genos starts falling from the sky, performing a 'superhero landing'. While Saitama floats down and lands safely).
"These guys look...interesting," Gildarts shrugged.
"ROBOT MAN!" Natsu and Happy shouted, staring at Genos.
"What's with the plain looking baldy?" Minerva questioned.
GENOS: Master, I believe we have arrived.
PERFECT CELL: (Out loud) Oh my Go-I'm a sundial for pests!
"You're at fault for making it an open invite. We know you mainly sent it out towards the Z-Fighters, but did you really think nobody else would appear?" Makarov said.
"To be fair, I think he expected normal humans being idiots. Not everything we've seen so far," Levy said.
"They were idiots. Except for that Kenshiro guy, he was the only good one," Laxus cut in.
SAITAMA: I'm surprised you even found this place, Genos. The heck does 28KS.5 mean?
PERFECT CELL: I need to be specific. I needed to be WAY more specific with my message.
"If you want more weirdos near you then sure, go ahead," Bickslow said.
SAITAMA: Hi, I'm Saitama, Hero for fun, or...well...I mean I'm technically employed by the Hero Association, but, uhh-
"There's a Hero Association? Being a hero is a job?" Romeo questioned.
"Well, us wizards get paid. I guess it's probably the same type of thing," His father answered.
GENOS: He's here to end your miserable life, monster!
SAITAMA: Yeah, what the cyborg said.
"So, he's also a Cyborg. A bit different from 18 and 17, because of all the metal on his body," Sting said.
PERFECT CELL: Ah, good. And how are you going to do that? Stop one of my hearts? Blow my torso up? Or play me in a Children's card game? Which, admittedly, was actually kinda fun.
"So, that's Light, Kenshiro, and Yami that he mentioned," Levy said.
"We know, Levy. We literally just saw them," Gajeel responded.
"I'm just saying!"
SAITAMA: I was thinking about punching you, actually.
"Natsu's solution," Gray rolled his eyes.
"Punching works a lot, Ice-Ass!" Natsu yelled back.
PERFECT CELL: Oh. (Cell see's his own reflection off Saitama's forehead) Well, as long as it's not keeping you from your chemotherapy.
"It's fitting that Cell made the cancer joke," Jellal said.
GENOS: Master! Allow me to take point.
SAITAMA: You sure about that, Geny? You kinda know how this goes, right?
GENOS: I recently received several performance upgrades from the genius, Dr. Kuseno. I assure you, this first attack…(He rushes at Cell) will be the finishing blow! Huaagh! (He attempts to kick Cell, only to be backhanded into a nearby mountain).
The mages broke into a loud fit of laughter at seeing Genos getting his ass kicked so fast.
"Wow, who saw that one coming?" Minerva cackled.
PERFECT CELL & SAITAMA: Oh wow, who saw that one coming? Ha! You owe me a HETAP. Ha! You owe me two HETAPS! (Both sigh as Genos lies on the ground unconsciously).
"Nobodies going to help him? No? Ok," Kagura said.
"People really should just stop showing up to Cell's arena," Erza sighed.
PERFECT CELL: How about you, Caillou? You wanna throw that punch now?
SAITAMA: Oh, I just tag along with him. I'm actually gonna wait for the tournament. If there's a bunch of strong guys showing up, I don't want to miss it.
"FINALLY SOMEONE WHO GETS IT!" Natsu shouted. Finally, he found someone who completely understood his thought process.
"Ok ok, sit down," Lucy yanked his scarf.
PERFECT CELL: Well, then, Caped Baldy. If you want to be, literally, the first person to follow the rules I set, then the tournament it is.
SAITAMA: You bet, cockroach king. But don't be surprised if I hit a little harder than Genos.
"Something about that doesn't feel right," Erza mumbled. The bald guy made her feel a bit uneasy.
PERFECT CELL: Oh, I'm looking forward to it.
SAITAMA: You and me both.
"No more fight flirting!" Lucy yelled.
PERFECT CELL: I'll see you, tomorrow.
SAITAMA: Dang right, you- Waaaiiittt, tomorrow?
PERFECT CELL: Yes.
SAITAMA: As in, tomorrow tomorrow?
"Yes...what's the problem?" Jellal asked.
PERFECT CELL: The F*cking sabbath, yes!
SAITAMA: Oh jeez. No can do then. There's a sale going on at the grocery tomorrow, and our pantry is lookin' pretty barren. If I don't hit it up, we're just leaving money on the table. Let's just do it Monday.
There was pure silence in the guild after hearing Saitama's reasoning.
"Is he fucking serious right now?" Laxus asked, baffled.
"That's...that's so stupid! Everyone's going to die if Cell wins! A sale doesn't matter!" Sting yelled.
PERFECT CELL: You're joking. If I win the tournament… (scoffs) when I win the tournament, there won't be a Monday.
"Could you be anymore full of yourself?" Erza scoffed.
"Vegeta's DNA is in there, remember?" Minerva tells her.
"Goku's gonna kick your green butt!" Natsu yelled.
SAITAMA: Nah, it'll be fine. Now, uhh, don't mind me, I'm gonna grab Genos. (Flys over towards Genos' unconscious body.)
PERFECT CELL: ...That's it? Seriously!? (Saitama flies away from the Cell Games arena.) I feel like I'm not the only one being blue-balled right now.
"Oddly enough, I feel the same way," Erza said.
Cell Vs. Ash Ketchum
(Scene starts with teenagers walking directly towards the Cell Games arena as Perfect Cell is sleeping.)
"Why is it always teenagers!?" Makarov complained
NARRATOR: We join Ash Ketchum, along with his companions, Misty and Brock, on their journey to the Pokemon League.
"Is that a narrator? Why is there a narrator?" Levy questioned.
MISTY: I feel like we're lost, like usual.
"So, for once the intelupors don't mean to show up at Cell's arena," Rogue said.
BROCK: Hey, I'm not the one who lost the map. Sure would be nice if we had some kind of mobile device that could tell us where we are.
ASH: Nope! Just this mobile device that tells us what Pokemon are! Which is really more important!
"Is that really more important? Sounds like the least important thing needed," Yukino said.
PIKACHU: Pika!
"OH MY GOSH! THAT THING IS SO CUTE!" Majority of the women in the guild squealed at the sight of Pikachu.
MISTY: Hey, look over there! Is that man?
"More like a bio-android," Levy corrected.
ASH: Wow! He sure is tall…
BROCK: Guys, that definitely doesn't look like a human.
"What tipped you off? Was it the green skin or the thorax?" Gajeel said, sarcastically.
BROCK: I think that might be a Pokémon!
PIKACHU: Pikachu!
"What the hell is a Pokemon?" Bickslow asked.
"Probably that small yellow creature," Freed answered.
ASH: Oh wow! Time to use my trusty Pokedex!
POKEDEX: "Data not found."
"Hey! It's 16's cousin!" Romeo jokes.
"Not funny!" Wendy roared at him, scaring the boy.
ASH: Huh?
MISTY: And technology has failed us…
PERFECT CELL: (Wakes up from his nap) Excuse me! Children, over there!
ASH: It can talk!?
MISTY: Just like Meowth!
"Who!?"
PERFECT CELL: Are you here for the tournament? Because people keep showing up early to fight me, and honestly, it's really starting to get old. I mean, I set a date. The least people could do is wait for it…
"It is pretty rude to show up too early," Natsu said.
"It's also pretty rude to blow up the whole planet…" Lucy added.
ASH: You guys, I'm gonna battle it!
"You'll die," Laxus said.
PERFECT CELL: Oh, well, I guess that answers that question.
ASH: Let's see...I can't tell what type it is, so let's try… (Pulls out a pokeball and throws it.) Squirtle, GO!
SQUIRTLE: Squirtle!
"IT'S SO CUTE!" The women cooed.
PERFECT CELL: Wait, so you're not going to fight me?
ASH: Of course not! This is a Pokemon battle! Pokemon vs. Pokemon!
"Cell isn't a Pokemon though. This doesn't make sense," Lily said.
PERFECT CELL: Ok, you're saying that word, but I don't know what-
ASH: Squirtle, he's distracted! Use Water Gun!
SQUIRTLE: Squirtle! Squirt! (launches a wave of water at Cell, soaking him.)
PERFECT CELL: So, do I just...I'm just going to attack back, is that ok?
"The first time Cell has asked to attack someone. I feel like it's growing up," Lisanna said.
ASH: Squirtle, use Skull Ba-!
PERFECT CELL: Ha! (Fires an energy blast at Squirtle)
SQUIRTLE: SQUIRT! (Tucking into its shell, protecting itself from the blast)
ASH: That was a Solar Beam!
"Don't you mean Solar Flare?" Carla questions.
PERFECT CELL: Did you just say Solar Flare? Because that's a totally~ dif-
ASH: (Retrieves Squirtle back into his Pokeball) No wonder water didn't work on him! He's a GRASS-type Pokemon!
"How many different types of Pokemon are there?" Freed wondered.
PERFECT CELL: All right, this seems a lot like that card game the boy with the leather pants played with me. Duel Monsters? 'Cause it feels a lot like Duel Monsters.
"I think this Ash kid understands the rules better though," Gildarts said.
ASH: (Unleashes Charizard from his Pokeball) Charizard, GO!
"HE HAS A FIRE DRAGON!? THAT'S SO COOL!" Natsu's eyes turned into stars.
PERFECT CELL" Whoa, is that friggin' dragon!? 'Cause I'm gonna be honest - THAT'S pretty metal!
BROCK: Actually, it's neither a steel-type, NOR a dragon-type! (Cell frowned at Brock).
"Ok, nobody asked for a Know-it-all," Gajeel grumbled. Levy elbowed him in his sides, causing him to apologize to her.
ASH: Charizard! Use Flamethrower! (Charizard shoots fire out its mouth and aims at Cell, causing no effects).
PERFECT CELL: Well, now I'm dry so, good job. Managed to give me a steam bath.
ASH: Fire wasn't effective either! Man, nothing I do is phasing it!
"Then give up and go home, kid! Before you get killed!" Gildarts yelled.
PERFECT CELL: The name's Cell, by the way! Could have at least ASKED before you started throwing critters at me.
ASH: You're pretty strong...But Pikachu and I have fought more battles than I can count!
"I doubt that it's a high number," Minerva insulted.
PERFECT CELL: Not a high number, I'm sure.
ASH: And if there's anyone that can beat you it's him. Go, Pika-
JESSIE: (Through speakers) NOt so fast, twerps!
"Who the actual hell?" Laxus questioned.
JAMES: We're here, we're queer, get used to it!
"HUH!?"
JESSIE: Wrong time, wrong place, James…
JAMES: Sorry, Jessie, sorry! Let's just...start the thing.
JESSIE: Prepare for trouble!
JAMES: And make it double!
"I'm getting a weird sense of Deja vu…" Erza muttered.
JESSIE: To protect the world from devastation!
JAMES: To unite all peoples within our nation!
PERFECT CELL: (Talking over Jessie and James) Ok, what the f*ck is this fever dream!?
"That's what I want to know!" Minerva agreed with the bug.
ASH: (Talking over Jessie and James) Those guys are here to steal my Pikachu!
"Who would want to steal that adorable little guy!?" Lisanna screamed.
JAMES: To extend our reach to the stars above!
PERFECT CELL: (Talking over Jessie and James) Ok, so you know these guys.
ASH: Yeah! They're-
JESSIE: Jessie!
JAMES: James~!
JESSIE: Team Rocket blas-! (Cell fires an energy blast at Team Rocket's hot air balloon, sending it flying off into the distance).
"Thank Kami…" Minerva sighed.
PERFECT CELL: Dics out for THOSE guys, amirite?
BROCK: ...Are they gonna be ok?
"I hope they died," Minerva said.
MISTY: Do you honestly care?
BROCK: ...No. I actually don't.
ASH: Alright, then. Back to the Pokemon battle! Pikachu! I choose-!
PERFECT CELL: Ok, all right, real talk? I'm not a Pokemon, ok? I don't even know what they are, like, wha-what IS a Pokemon?
ASH: It's a… "Pocket Monster".
"So, you put it in your pocket?" Millianna asked.
PERFECT CELL: Are they in your pocket?
ASH: No-They're on my belt. Pokeballs.
PERFECT CELL: Then they're not pocket monsters! They're...belt monsters. BALL monsters!
"Technically, we're all ball monsters," Cana shrugged.
"Really?" Lucy rolled her eyes.
PERFECT CELL: No, no, no, they're CAPSULE monsters! And you duel with them! So, they're GODDAMN DUEL MONSTERS!
"NO WAY!?" Happy was shocked by the revelation.
ASH: Th-then, you're not a Poke-?
PERFECT CELL: No, I am not a goddamn Pokemon! Now get out of here, before I murder you and your little rat!
"Don't kill, Pikachu!" Wendy shouted.
PERFECT CELL: Also, the guy who keeps squinting at me and your ginger girlfriend! Sh-sh-shoo, sh-sh-shoo.
ASH: C'mon Pikachu. Let's go find us a Pokemon Center.
PIKACHU: PIKA~!
PERFECT CELL: Oh my God, this is the longest seven days I've ever waited in my life. I should've scheduled it for a Wednesday. Kill everyone on Hump Day! Insult to the injury, th- (Sees Mewtwo flying overhead) ...IS THAT F*CKING FREEZA!?
The mages laugh at Cell's assumption of thinking Mewtwo was Frieza.
Perfect Cell Vs. Deadpool
(Scene starts with Perfect Cell thinking about who to keep alive when he blows up the planet.)
PERFECT CELL: ...I think I'll spare Betty White.
DEADPOOL: (Appears behind Cell) Did you know that mitochondria is your powerhouse? (Cell punches him into one of the arena pillars)
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?"
PERFECT CELL: (Dusting his fist) Pretty sure I just manslaughtered Spider-Man.
DEADPOOL: Jesus, really? Gonna drive THAT golden oldie at the start?
"How are you even ALIVE right now?" Freed questioned, shocked.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Cell just sprayed your brains all over the area floor," Bickslow pointed at all the blood.
PERFECT CELL: How on, how are you-
DEADPOOL: Alive? (Leaps up to his feet) Ha ha! Mutant, friend-o! Well, "mutate" specifically, but whatever! Lemme properly introduce myself! I'm your deadly neighborhood Deadpool.
"Deadpool? Did you die in a pool or something-OW!" Romeo felt something hit his forehead. The boy looked down at his feet to see a crumpled piece of paper. He picked it up and uncrumpled it. His eyes widened at the image on the paper, it was of him sneaking away with a bunch of dirty magazines.
"What is it, Romeo?" Wendy asked, leaning over to look.
The boy quickly tore the image to pieces before the other teen could see. "N-Nothing! Nothing at all!"
PERFECT CELL: So you're...so you're one of those "X-Mans"?
DEADPOOL: Ohhhh, no. Nooooo, no-no-no-no-no-no, I mean...sure, I help them out from time to time, but that's like, when the WORLD'S in danger.
PERFECT CELL: Zero to pissed in a moment-my goodness, you have talent.
"And I thought Natsu was the only one with that talent," Laxus said.
"Hey!"
DEADPOOL: Look, this thing isn't called "Cell vs The X-Men", okay? It ain't "Cell vs The Avengers", or "Cell vs The Defenders". It's DEADPOOL VS CELL. Got it? I took a pay cut to make that happen!
"Why would you want that!?" Yukino asked, baffled.
"I think we've already crossed the bridge that he's insane," Sting said.
PERFECT CELL: So was your shtick that you're insane, or just "LAWL, I'm SO RANDOM!"
"I feel like it's a combo of both, really," Carla sighed, already feeling a headache.
DEADPOOL: (Chuckles) My "shtick" is that I've been contracted to assassinate your thorax!
"Who the hell would be crazy enough to hire someone as insane as you?" Lucy questioned.
PERFECT CELL: Hmmm. The thought of a hired gun never crossed my mind.
"Probably because everyone so far just showed up to fight you," Gajeel said.
DEADPOOL: Yep! Can't quite give away the identity of my employer, buuuut…
(Scene changes to Deadpool's contract being disguised over the phone.)
?: That's right. You murder him and I will make that Spiderman-Deadpool movie happen!
"Of course it's Nappa…" Lucy sighed.
(Phone chatter)
?: What? (Phone chatter) No, you won't get Andrew Garfield, he's out. (Phone chatter) Listen, I'll just get you a hotel room, but it's your job to make that bed rock, okay? (Phone chatter) All right. (Phone chatter) Okay bye. (? Hangs up the phone) All right, Mr. Lee, it's happening.
MR. LEE: Excelsior, Ghost Nappa!
"Didn't expect the Ghost Nappa thing to make a return," Levy said.
NAPPA: I'm not a-...It's been like, a season, dude, come on.
(Scene changes back to the Cell Games arena)
DEADPOOL: (Sighing) Guy drives a hard bargain. Also, the pic he gave me? (Reveals the picture of NOT Perfect Cell) Looks nothing like you.
PERFECT CELL: Oh, absolutely not.
"Looks like a rip-off-OW!" Minerva felt a ball of paper hit her in the head. She picked it up and unraveled it.
"Hunter x Hunter fans won't like that?" What the hell is this?" She sets the paper on fire.
DEADPOOL: Now, with introduction out of the way. (Throws away the picture.) I'm gonna make you sashimi with these swords! (Pulls out his twin katanas).
"Does the idiot even know how to use those?" Kagura was skeptical.
PERFECT CELL: ...Swords? Buddy, I've got a boy with lavender hair who can give you a rundown on how poorly (Deadpool chops Cell's left arm off) that's gonna work out for-where is my arm?
DEADPOOL: (Waving Cell's dismembered arm) Yohoo~!
"Cell's getting Kenshiro flashbacks right now," Bickslow chuckled.
PERFECT CELL: I stand corrected! ...Also lopsided.
DEADPOOL: It's called Adamantium, Shelley! (Waves his swords in front of Cell) And it's the sliciest, diciest, (Cell curls his fist) mutilatiest metal ever made! (Using Cell's arm as a microphone) Hey, this is Deadpool with Regis and Kathie Lee! (Two chairs appear with his swords on them).
"Does he ever shut up!?" Minerva complained, already tired of Deadpool.
DEADPOOL: That's the name of the swords, and my cats, who I recently had to put down… with these!
Millianna almost fainted at those words, while the Exceeds all shivered away from the screen.
DEADPOOL: (Whispers) Also, they weren't cats but feral raccoons.
"What the actual fuck…"
(Cell points his finger at Deadpool and fires a KI blast at his head.)
"THANK YOU!" Everyone appreciated Cell's decision of killing for one.
PERFECT CELL: Five...four….three...two…
DEADPOOL: (Raises from the ground) Okay! That's fair. It's actually not Adamantium, it's Carbonadium! I deserve that!
"You deserve far worse," Minerva hissed.
DEADPOOL (Cell shoots Deadpool in the head again, then hums 'Hollaback Girl' as Deadpool heals himself) GOD DAMN IT! Now listen here you overgrown Bad Dragon Toy-(Cell shoots him again, splattering blood all over the arena).
The mages laughed at Cell's desire of wanting Deadpool dead.
PERFECT CELL: Gonna have to clean the ring after this…
DEADPOOL: Okay, that's it! (Teleports behind Cell, swinging his swords only to miss) I'm pretty sure I'm losing memories of my childhood now, and while I'm more than happy to part with Uncle Mickey and his van, I can't risk losing the first time I touched a boob at chess camp! (Cell regenerates his arm and grabs the ends of his swords).
"I'll never forget the first boob I touched," Macao smiled, nostalgically. His son stared at him in disgust.
PERFECT CELL: Listen, DP, can I call you DP?
DEADPOOL: (Maniac laughing) You can call me whatever you want while I'm carving you out like a goddamn tauntaun!
PERFECT CELL: PD- (He snaps the tips of the swords off).
DEADPOOL: Ah! My tips!
PERFECT CELL: -I get what you're going for here. I kill you, you don't die, you make jokes, and I kill you again, and rinse and repeat. It's not even funny.
"It's kinda funny," Sting disagreed.
PERFECT CELL: So how 'bout you take your swords, your guns, and your "references" and- (notices that both of his arms are missing).
"I would be absolutely livid if I was in Cell's shoes," Gajeel said.
"But, instead it's pretty funny," Levy added.
DEADPOOL: (Sitting on Cell's arms like a chair) Ohh, sorry, Shelley, but a jp's a Job's a job…(impersonates Wolverine) ...and I'm the best there is at what I do: (Normal voice) making Arthur AMV's set to Papa Roach! But the second to that is killin' dudes, (stands up) and there ain't no way you're gettin' rid of me until I've murder-lised you good-
WOLVERINE: (Through the radio): Deadpool, come in! We have an emergency!
"Who is this?" Freed asked.
DEADPOOL: (Nervous laughing) Sorry, uh, I gotta take this. Work's calling. Give me a moment. (Pulls out his radio, talking to Wolverine) Wolvie, buddy! Best friend! Love of my life! Ha ha ha… WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
WOLVERINE: We need you back at the mansion. It's a "Code Phoenix".
"Code Phoenix? Wonder what that's about," Yukino said.
DEADPOOL: Wha-AGAIN WITH THIS!? (sighing) It's like, once a month with this chick! Seriously! A-at this point, I should make a period joke...but that's below me! (chuckles) "Blow me."
"Obviously it wasn't below you, dumbass," Kagura rolled her eyes.
WOLVERINE: (Through the radio and annoyed): Wade, get here, or the NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, I'LL-(Audio turns into misunderstandable noises).
PERFECT CELL: I'm being very polite here...I'm being very polite to let you have this conversation right now, I'm very pissed at you…
"Probably the nicest you've been so far," Lucy said.
DEADPOOL: Okay, okay, hold your Timbits, LLLOGAN-, I'm on my way. And try not to kill her this time, yeah?
WOLVERINE: (Through the radio) What the fuck did you-!?" (Deadpool ends the call).
VOICE 1: Do you think he remembers X3?
VOICE 2: NOBODY, remember X3.
"I don't even KNOW what X3 is," Levy said.
DEADPOOL: Okay, so...I gotta go take care of some psychic bitch. Meantime, try not to kill nobody! Mean "anybody". Well, I mean, really...I don't give a shit. I was just here to waste time! Give me a call later! You can find me on Tinder...and Grindr. Oh, and Yelp! I love Mexican. Adios, muchachos! (Leaves Cell's arena) Give Goku my condolences about Superman!
"What is he talking about?" Natsu asked.
"I've been asking myself that this entire time," Jellal sighed.
PERFECT CELL: ...No, Betty White's had her time. Wit, is Bea Arthur still alive? I don't think she is.
DEADPOOL: (Decapitates Cell's head) SHINK! ONE FOR THE ROAD!
PERFECT CELL: (Frustrated screaming) I HOPE YOUR SEQUEL BOMBS!
Everyone laughed at Deadpool cutting off Cell's head.
DEADPOOL: It won't.
Cell Vs. Bobby Hill
(Scene starts with Cell talking to Hank Hill)
PERFECT CELL: All right, Hank! If this is the HILL you want to die on, I'll fight your brat. (turns to Bobby Hill) C'mon, Bobby boy, let's rumble-!
"IT'S FIGHTING A CHILD!?"
BOBBY HILL: THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!
PERFECT CELL: (Bobby kicks Cell in the crotch causing him to scream in agonizing pain.)
Everyone burst into a storm of laughter at the humiliating and hilarious sight.
Chapter End
NOTE: I am NEVER writing this shit ever again. This took too much energy out of me to ever think that writing another "[X-Series] reacts to DBZA" will ever be fun to do again. Once this fic is over, that will be it.
We're very close to the finale now! With the "Cell Vs" all done, we can now move to the actual start of the Cell Games!
Stay tuned!