Chapter 19 - A Sense of Obligation
AN: over a thousand reviews, I can't believe how wonderful you guys are.
Thank you to the guest who reviewed about the premise of this story, Darcy telling Lizzy about Wickham in a ball room. You are entirely correct, the Darcy we know from Miss. Austen would never have done this. That's why I write Fanfiction, so I can explore the possibilities, no mater how improbable. ;-)
Steve, where have you gone, I rely on you for your corrections! Please come back! Anyone else who finds errors, please PM me. I'm fixing them in my manuscript.
To everyone else, you just make my day! Thank you for your support.
"Miss Bennet," Darcy bowed the moment she entered the parlour. Allowing the usual pleasantries to be dispensed, he offered his arm and led Elizabeth over to the young woman she'd seen sitting atop a horse yesterday. Miss Darcy sat beside her newly married cousin, Mrs. Fitzwilliam. She appeared to be a tall, willowy girl of not more than sixteen with a shy but serene countenance. "May I introduce my sister Georgiana?"
"I would be honoured, Sir," Lizzy smiled. A blush on her cheeks from the slight embarrassment she felt. Mr. Darcy had singled her out for such attention and seemed eager that the two women like each other. She began to feel Charlotte might be correct in her assumptions.
"Georgiana," Darcy's voice gentled at the sight of his sister who rose to stand beside him, "this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet."
"How do you do?" the young girl asked, unable to look Miss Bennet in the eye after curtseying.
"I'm very pleased to meet you, Miss Darcy," Lizzy responded, her smile increasing as she realised how shy the young woman appeared. "I've heard much of you."
"And I you," she offered in return. Almost as if the siblings had orchestrated this, Darcy moved further into the room, allowing the ladies a small amount of privacy.
"Indeed," Lizzy tried to hide her surprise, as it appeared Mr. Darcy had been candid with more than just his cousin. "I told Colonel Fitzwilliam that your brother is my most sever critic."
"I cannot believe it," Georgiana seemed distressed, her light blue eyes meting Elizabeth's with confusion.
"That was when we first met. I believe Mr. Darcy improves on closer acquaintance," Lizzy attempted to smooth over the moment with a twinkle in her eye and soft laugh. "Your brother has led me to understand you are fond of music, and play very well."
Obviously more comfortable with this line of conversation, Miss Darcy blushed. "Oh, no, not play very well. I mean…But I am very fond of music. I should dearly love to hear you play and sing. My brother has told me he has rarely heard anything that gave him more pleasure."
"Well, you shall, but I warn you, your brother has grossly exaggerated my talents," Lizzy returned with her usual impertinence.
"Oh, no. That could not be so. My brother never exaggerates," Georgiana quickly defended the man standing several feet away with the Colonel. Together the gentlemen watched the interaction with interest. Neither where disposed to interfere, leaving that to Anne if she believed Georgiana required aid.
"I will attest to my cousin's honestly in all things, Miss Bennet," Anne smiled politely. "Mr. Darcy always tells the absolute truth, sometimes to the detriment of his purpose."
"Except that, sometimes, I think he is a little too kind to me," Georgiana offered reservedly.
Elizabeth immediately thought about the events of last summer. Mr. Darcy had taken a lot upon himself to ensure his sister's good reputation. "An ideal elder brother, then," she smiled.
"Oh, yes. I could not imagine a better or a kinder one," Georgiana added, her eyes straying to her brother. He looked towards the three women with a confused expression.
"You make me feel quite envious," Lizzy continued, allowing her gaze to follow Miss Darcy's. "I have no brothers at all, only four sisters."
"I should have liked to have a sister," Georgiana said.
"Either would have been a pleasant addition to Rosings," Anne lamented in a sadden tone.
Both women grasped at the melancholy words. Siting either side of the fragile woman, Elizabeth could see signs of improvement in only a week. Yet, there would always be moments of mourning for what she had missed.
"They are wonderful," Lizzy stated with a sigh, "in small doses, but come with many trials and tribulations. I can recall being vexed greatly by my youngest sister."
For the next ten minutes she regaled both young women with accounts of growing up in a house filled with antics. As their laughter rang out, Charlotte added her own stories, as yet unheard after months of marriage. Without Lady Catherine to preside over the tea tray, the hour before diner passed pleasantly indeed. Only Mr. Collins seemed put out. No one wanted to listen to his childhood remembrances.
"My brother," Georgiana approached as they waited for the carriage at the end of the evening, "has invited me to come walking in the morning. I believe you are often to be found in the west grove. May we join you?"
"I would welcome the company," Lizzy didn't feel able to deny the young woman.
With only four more days at Hunsford, Elizabeth found her rambles intruded upon but not unpleasantly so. More often than not, Miss Darcy walked beside Elizabeth, while Mr. Darcy followed, happy to listen to their conversation. Occasionally he would step up his pace to draw abreast, adding a comment. Strangely enough, Lizzy found this time more pleasant than she'd thought possible. The amiable gentleman seemed to be here to stay. Miss Elizabeth Bennet knew she could find it in her heart to like, perhaps even admire Mr. Darcy if he continued in this vein.
"Miss, the post has come," the maid curtseyed, handing a white envelope to Elizabeth. Today, as the others preceding it, Mr. Darcy and his sister joined her morning rambles. However, this day would be her last in Kent.
"Thank you," Lizzy smiled, wondering who had sent her a missive. Still, she took the sheets and examined the directions.
Charlotte had taken Maria on her rounds of the parishioners and would not be back for several hours. Mr. Collins had parish business to attend, leaving Lizzy alone at the parsonage. Her cousin now found his new patron and patroness hard task masters. As a result, the clergyman had to work much more than was his wont. It had the added bonus of keeping the man out of Charlotte's sight for much of the day.
Later this afternoon they were bid to Rosings for tea one last time. No one expected to dine at that great house as Mr. Darcy and his sister would be leaving for London after breaking their fast on the morrow. Elizabeth would take her leave of Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam tonight. She looked forward to sharing a carriage with Miss Darcy and Mrs. Annesley. So far, they had proved delightful companions.
Her attention returning to the sheets of parchment, Elizabeth went to sit on her favourite chair in the main parlour. Breaking the seal, she could not wait to hear from Jane so she would know how to act when they met tomorrow afternoon. Two small sheets fell out of the letter in her sister's neat script. They could only be considered notes. Leaving them aside Lizzy commenced on Jane's missive. The initial page contained news of the residents at Gracechurch Street. The second had been written after receiving her last letter.
Thank for your words of wisdom in regard to Mr. Bingley. I am determined to think no more on that issue. It would do me no good in any case. I am determined to take your advice on this and look to the past only as it gives me pleasure. So, I shall endeavour to think of that man no more. Fear not Lizzy I will be well again, just do not expect hope for the future.
I have heard from Mama. Do not be alarmed for I know our mother is a very inconsistent correspondent. Mama claims all sorts of ailments which I am sure are no more than her usual vexations. It seems father has allowed Lydia back to Longbourn after she became ill. Mrs. Woodward is seeing to our sister. She insists Lydia is of hardy stock and will survive. Mama does not see it in the same light and keeps to her chamber. Indeed, I believe the bond of affection has been broken. Kitty now seems to be her favourite.
I know it is only a few days before you arrive, but I miss your company. I so wish I had spoken more before you departed for Hunsford. Please remember what I said on your leaving. I still believe you should choose a match based on affability and respect if anyone makes an offer, for these are lasting traits. I do not wish to see you reduced to living off your relations as I will surely have too.
Ever your loving sister,
Jane.
Reading the letter through a second time, Lizzy felt a fluttering in her heart. All three parts of the letter gave her mind much to think on and completely different emotions. Before taking up the notes, she needed to consider her sister's situation.
"Oh, Jane," Elizabeth cried, "how I feel for you. To find out Mr. Bingley is so insincere in his affections. I can scares believe it yet I have to. Mr. Darcy, it appears, is not a man to make falsehoods, especially against his friends. I believed Mr. Bingley's attraction to you above all others. I also believed so implicitly in Wickham's lies when you warned me not to. I have come to distrust my own first impressions and now wait to know a person before taking measure of their character."
"We were in the company of the Bingley's too often for me to be entirely mistaken in his attentions and regard," Lizzy's mind decided. "And his sister's, Mr. Darcy assures me that Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst worked on him to separate you. That speaks of some affection on his side, surely?"
Turning the page over, Lizzy noticed the post script.
P.S. It seems Mama is somewhat serious in her ailments. I have included the notes from Papa and Mrs. Woodward. I would like your opinion on them and what we are to do when we next meet.
Without delay, Elizabeth found the notes. Leaving her friend and companions for latter, her father's note intrigued her. She'd scare received five such in her entire life.
Jane,
You will be shocked, no doubt, that I am writing to you. It seems your mother has developed Lydia's malady. The good doctor, Mr. Finsen declared it to be Scarlatina but as the rest of the household passed the quarantine, he has since changed his mind. All will be well when you arrive home from your tour of the North Country with your sister. I long for that day.
Your Papa.
Finally taking up the last note, Lizzy read a much more prosaic account.
Miss Bennet,
Be not alarmed. I am writing to you in the hope of imparting only the facts and that you may pass them on to your sister, Miss Elizabeth. On the twelfth of April, Lydia developed a very high fever. I can only think she acquired it due to our living standards. I removed her to Longbourn immediately where the doctor was called to attend her. Although it took the better part of a fortnight, Lydia is now recovering, albeit slowly.
Unfortunately, after four days at Longbourn your mother took sick. It did not take me long to realised her symptoms were the same at Lydia's. Once again, we called the doctor who declared it Scarlatina and immediately quarantined the estate. However, no one else fell ill. It is generally thought the good doctor acted with undue haste in such a declaration. Your mother is recovering but much more slowly than Lydia. I can only hope this is because of the disparity in their age. Lydia has youth on her side.
I shall write again if the situation warrants it.
Sincerely
Theodosia Woodward.
Not sure what to make of this, Elizabeth Bennet decided she had time for a walk before dressing to go to the Rosings. The sound of company at the front door stopped her. The same maid that handed her the letters not half an hour ago announced Mr. Darcy.
"Forgive me for intruding upon your solitude," Darcy bowed in greeting, noticing the letters littering the table beside Miss Bennet.
"Will you not sit down?" Lizzy offered politely, noting his distress. Surly, sharing a carriage on the morrow with his sister and Mrs. Annesley could not cause such grief. Had something occurred in London? Had Lady Catherine caused some mischief? Such might account for Mr. Darcy's sudden appearance and attitude. "Shall I call for tea?" Elizabeth asked, her tone laced with concern.
"Please do not trouble yourself," Darcy stated, glancing at her uncomfortably. He had not the inclination or serenity to sit. Indeed, he paced the room while she looked on with a slightly amused and slightly mystified expression. Finally placing his hat on a tiny table, Darcy folded his hands behind his back and took a deep breath. "In vain I have struggled," he declared in a harsh tone, quite unable to quell his rising emotions and increased heartbeat. "It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
Shocked, Elizabeth could only gape at the man before her. Never had she expected such a sudden declaration. While she understood the great compliment paid her while in Kent, it appeared Charlotte had been correct in her assumption of the man's feelings. Those walks, the seemingly benign conversation, Lizzy realised, were Mr. Darcy's rather clumsy attempts at courting her favour.
Unable to turn the thoughts into words, Mr. Darcy approached her position and continued. He needed to confess his struggles. "In declaring myself thus, I am fully aware that relative situation of our families is such that any alliance between us must be regarded as highly unusual and will be much talked of. I do not care what society thinks of me, nor do my closest relations should it bring about my lifelong happiness. They wish only my contentment in the marriage state and are aware, almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance, I have come to feel for you a passionate admiration and regard which has grown these past weeks in your company. Both my sister and cousin have aided me in laying to rest all my struggles and helped me to overcome every rational objection to follow my heart in this matter. I now beg you, most fervently, to relieve my suffering and consent to be my wife."
"In such cases as these," Elizabeth finally found the words, her mouth dry and heart beating a rapid tatoo, "I believe the established mode is to express a sense of obligation."
Swallowing hard, Lizzy thought of Mrs. Woodward's words and her sisters urging to find a man who would respect her. Mr. Darcy had shown more admiration of her and regard for their social disparity than she'd thought possible after their initial meeting. Indeed, she could admit to herself, she'd come to like walking beside him and from that the man himself.
But can I live my whole life attached to this man? Closing her eyes, Lizzy discovered the image not completely disagreeable but not pleasing either. True, I have come to admire that part of him which is amiable and honourable. That man I could learn to admire and respect, even join in matrimony. However, proud Darcy is another issue altogether.
Taking in a long steady breath, she finally looked up into a pair of hesitant eyes. "I find myself most exceedingly obliged, Mr. Darcy."
"Obliged?" Darcy cried. He'd finally worked up the courage to ask for her hand after lavishing his attention on her for the last weeks and she spoke of obligation. Did Miss Bennet feel duty bound to accept his offer? Surely, she felt some emotion toward him after carefully courting her this last fortnight. What of her introduction and burgeoning friendship with Georgiana? Did that mean nothing?
Trying desperately to understand the rapid beating of her heart and the clenching in her stomach, Lizzy lowered her gaze. One hand strangled the other as the tumultuous emotions washed over her. She struggled to sufficiently order her thoughts. Mrs. Woodward's words, backed up by Jane's letter tumbled with the conversations shared with Mr. Darcy this last fortnight. All the small comments suddenly made sense.
"I have never desired your good opinion," she started to explain.
"I am well aware of that," Darcy spat in return.
"From the very beginning of our association," Lizzy stood, stepping towards the man in her agitation, "your manners impressed me with fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others."
"You have said quite enough, Madam," Darcy felt his heart breaking. As if he had not been humbled enough for this woman. He'd confessed his dealings in a ball room of all places. He'd laid bare his actions with George Wickham and told of Georgiana's near elopement.
"How could I have said enough, Mr. Darcy," Lizzy demanded, unaccountably furious with the man before her and her own traitorous heart, "when I cannot comprehend my own feelings on this subject. Your callous words the very first time we met in Meryton have taken much for me to overcome."
"I wounded your pride," Darcy didn't mean to sound superior but that is how the comment emerged, "because I was not in humour to partake in the amusement. You now know what occurred in the months preceding my stay in Hertfordshire. Yet, you still hold my words against me."
"I am ashamed of my treatment of you," Lizzy confessed, "in relation to Mr. Wickham. I have not been kind to your reputation while you resided at Netherfield. I cannot begin to apologise, now that I know there are two sides to your character."
"You prided yourself on knowing me when you chose to wilfully misunderstand everything about me on a single meeting. Pride you accused me of not a fortnight later when you stayed at Netherfield, Miss Bennet. We have spoken of my inability to preform to strangers. Deceit of any kind is abhorrent to me. I did not wish to fall into the same situation as Bingley and incite the hopes of any young woman without the ability and wish to fulfil them." Glaring at her, his feelings would not be repressed. This woman had led him a merry chase. "That would not be fair or just, to you or me!"
"Did you not see the insult in your words and actions that night," Lizzy remembered them only too well. Mimicking him, she said, "I am in no mood to give consequence to young ladies slighted by other men. Was that not uncivil of you, Mr. Darcy? How could anyone be mistaken in your words?"
Swallowing his pride, he stated, "they could not. However, you alone had the facts with which to explain my behaviour. Still you hold those words against me. Am I ever to pay for a moment's anger?"
Turning to catch her breath, Elizabeth did not want the situation deteriorated further. "I am obliged to you, for your offer, Mr. Darcy but I do not know you well enough to accept without conditions. I had always hoped to marry for love, not to secure my comfort and future, or that of my family. One sided affection, no matter how much you profess to love me, is not a good recipe for an enduring and felicitous marriage."
"What are you saying, Miss Bennet? Once before I asked you to speak plainly, do so now that I may comprehend you," Darcy beseeched. "I want no more misunderstanding between us."
"You asked if you could call upon me in London," Elizabeth lifted her head to capture the expressions crossing his face.
"I did," Darcy confirmed confused.
"I wish to keep any engagement between us, Mr. Darcy," Lizzy stated with finality, "until we come to know each other better. I will be residing with my Aunt and Uncle for the next eight weeks."
"I will be to Pemberley in six," Darcy said, still not sure what she asked.
"Then we have the next six weeks to come to know if the marriage state will suit us," Lizzy informed him. "If you still wish for me to be your wife at that time, you may solicit my father's approval. I would hope to stay at least a few nights at Pemberley on our tour to set a wedding date should that be the case."
"I shall insist upon it," Darcy's temper couldn't decide whether to be amused by this bewitching woman or furious she placed limitations on his hopes and dreams. Either way, he'd secured her hand and had another six weeks to make her think well of him. Never before had he been in this position, at the whim of another. It was a humbling experience.
Well, I await the reviews. I must say my favourite from the last chapter was from Jean and a guest : So will he f%$# it up as usual or will she be more mercenary and/or more suspicious thanks to Mrs Woodward and Charlotte?
I guess you got your answer.