Chapter 32 - Finally Confessing
AN: Ahhhhh! I thought all this time off work post surgery would give me the ability to get this story finished. Between the pain, lack of sleep and exercises every two hours, it's just not happening. Let us hope for better things in the next few weeks. Today is the first day I have felt like turning the computer on. So, here is the next installment. I'll try for another couple of chapters next week. Crossing fingers, toes and anything else possible.
"Darcy," Elizabeth had not wanted to broach this topic but felt it too important to continue festering between them. Jane turned her back giving the betrothed couple a few moments relative privacy while the Gardiner party awaited their carriage. They would not be in company again until the outing to the theatre tomorrow evening. "I believe your aunt and uncle are not happy in your choice of bride. They have been very kind but I cannot help but feel reduced in their company."
"They are concerned," Darcy sighed, wishing to speak of other topics in these few stolen moments without a chaperone. Now Elizabeth raised the subject, he could not hesitate. "We are soon to be married and I will not keep anything from you. I believe it is what led to so many misunderstandings at Netherfield. I ask you do not hold your tongue in matters of such import to our domestic felicity if we are to develop any respect between us."
"What," she questioned with an astounded look, "concerns them? Has Lady Susan spoken to you of her fears?"
"Aunt Susan has wished me married for many years. She is not displeased with my choice of bride, only the circumstances of your relations. My family demanded a woman already conversant with society and our position within it," Darcy hesitated, unsure how to deliver the rest of his speech without offending. "You have not shown the proper anticipation in joining the first circles and it weighs heavily on my aunt's, and dare I say, my mind."
"I have neither the dowry nor connections they expected of your intended," Lizzy stated blandly, thinking of the court dress incident.
Truth be told, she'd began to feel a little out of her depth as her engagement continued. Never one to allow a situation to best her, her courage always rose to her defence. However, in the last days, Elizabeth Bennet began to understand that courage would have to be with her almost every moment and the thought became daunting. Although she had not yet told him in words, she loved Darcy more each day as he revealed his complex personality. It seemed only fair, as he was the method by which she needed to learn these new skills, that he should be the one to subdue her apprehensions.
"We will speak of this only once," Darcy's countenance darkened as a frown encased his features. "The situation of your family, though objectionable to those of the first circles, is nothing in comparison with the total want of propriety so frequently betrayed by your mother, your younger sisters, and even occasionally, your father. I am afraid their behaviour and lack of restraint will reduce your standing in society and Jane's chance of a good match."
"And are these your thoughts, Darcy?" Elizabeth demanded, her lips pursed.
"Upon our meeting," he conceded, "the connections and behaviour demonstrated by your family troubled me greatly."
"Now?" Lizzy's eyes narrowed. Her future husband's initial impressions hurt, deeply. Yet, Elizabeth knew her family to be guilty of this and much more. Jane had lost Mr. Bingley, in part, due to the Bennet's performance at the Netherfield ball. Mrs. Woodward's tenure at Longbourn had gone a good way to improve her relations comportment. Nothing could aid their standing in society.
"I choose you, Elizabeth," Darcy's eyes watched his betrothed, carefully observing her reaction to his words. "In spite of my initial reactions and objections, you have taught me to look beyond what is socially acceptable, to the person beneath. I am ashamed of my behaviour in Herefordshire and have you to thank for opening my eyes. When last I visited Longbourn, I found myself shocked by the changes within your home."
"How so?" Lizzy demanded.
"Mrs. Woodward's influence has been," Darcy paused to find the correct word, "astonishing."
"Indeed," a smile finally graced Elizabeth's countenance, making her eyes sparkle. "Theodosia is a woman not to be gainsaid."
"With your sister's classic beauty and after presentation at court, as well as the dowry I have settled upon her with our nuptials," Darcy sighed, "she will be able to make a fortuitous marriage."
Swallowing hard, Elizabeth knew the time had come. "I love you, Darcy. I do not say it because you have done so much for my dearest sister, but because it displays the man you truly are. I do not know how I did not see it in Hertfordshire."
"You did not see it," he leant in close and wiped the stray tear from her cheek, "because you were blinded by your pride as I was mine. I should have courted you properly, shown my growing regard. Instead I allowed what I considered my scruples from preventing my forming any serious design on you. It was not until December, when I stood in my lonely parlour and looked out at a dark, for-brooding street that I knew this would forever be my future without you at my side. Still, it took both Georgiana and Fitzwilliam's words to make me act upon my feelings. I have loved you for a long time, Elizabeth, longer than I care to remember."
"We are both at fault then," Elizabeth conceded. Suddenly balancing her weight upon her toes and kissing him quickly upon the cheek. "But I claim the honour of taking more of it than you."
"I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours," he stated, wanting to touch the place on his cheek that her lips caressed, "my dearest, lovely, Elizabeth."
With a sigh, Darcy watched as the Gardiners and Jane entered the hall. He stood on the top step until the coach rumbled from the square, before returning to the same window in the drawing room that started his contemplations all those months ago. They would be in the presence of his aunt and uncle at the theatre tomorrow evening, unable to share another private conversation. Within his mind, Darcy catalogued the changes five months brought and wondered what the next would signify. Would they be lucky enough to become with child? He hoped they would have some time together before that event occurred.
I am a selfish being, Darcy smiled, amused at the thought of how his heir would come about and what a pleasure it would be to practice many a night, to wish to have my new bride alone for a year before we are granted the blessing of a child. However, it is time to go to my bed. I shall have to content myself with dreams of my Dearest Elizabeth until our wedding night.
"Darcy," Elizabeth questioned the next evening as she stepped from the Gardiners coach before Leighwood House. A note had come for her uncle this afternoon, changing their plans. Noticing Lord and Lady Fitzwilliam, accompanied by Lady Catherine, sitting comfortably in the Mattock travelling coach, Lizzy understood there would not be room for the rest of her family. It appeared she and Darcy were to travel with the most highly ranked of his relations, and enter the theatre in their party.
Wanting to sigh heavily, Darcy looked down into the suddenly apprehensive eyes of his betrothed. They had promised to be open with each other only last evening. He would not go back on his word.
"Richard's idea," he all but whispered stopping her before she could climb into the coach. "Uncle James agreed to the changes this afternoon. I have been in contact with your uncle, and Mr. Gardiner approves the variations in our conveyance. Your aunt and uncle will take their carriage with Jane, Richard and Anne. Georgianna is to remain at Leighwood, as Aunt Catherine frightens her."
"Do you intend any other surprises this evening?" Lizzy allowed one eyebrow to arch.
"Many," he smirked. "However I am not currently at liberty to inform you of them."
"Not at liberty, Sir," Elizabeth questioned with a brazen tone before being handed into the coach.
"We are to sit in the Earls box with your relations this evening," Darcy waited to announce once they had spoken of those polite topics required by convention. It occurred as they turned into the street lined with carriages waiting to deliver their cargo to the theatre.
"I wish to send a message to all those in my circle," Lady Susan added. Suddenly turning on her sister in law, her voice became harsh, "Lady Catherine, Anne leads us to understand, you have few acquaintances in London but they are able to make my future niece's entry into society difficult in the extreme."
"I shall not make trouble," Catherine huffed indignantly, recalling her last conversation with Darcy and discussion with her brother. "I am well aware of my dependence upon the Earl's good will. I will not support you, Miss Bennet as you have done me a great wrong, but you may be endured for the sake of my nephew and the family reputation."
Darcy growled softly. Sitting opposite in the backward facing seat beside his uncle, Lizzy felt his disquiet. Breaking with propriety she reached across the space and placed her fingers lightly on his gloved hand for a second. The look flowing between them spoke volumes and stopped his response immediately. Lady Susan hid her smile. She had seen the young woman achieve the same effect on Thursday night as they dined at Leighwood.
You will do very well for my nephew, she thought, suddenly willing to allow this girl into her family without reservation.
"So, I must smile and enjoy my future Aunt's company tonight," Lizzy's voice dripped with sarcasm as they exited the coach, "and be seen by the entire world to enjoy her company. In doing so we may safely sheath the cat's claws."
"Exactly," Darcy gave his quick witted fiancée an endearing smile. Taking Elizabeth's arm, he secured it at his elbow. "Richard, Anne and Miss Bennet will sit in the Darcy box with an addition I am sure you will wish to meet. Do not ask as you shall be introduced soon enough. They shall enter only moments before the play is to begin. It is Anne's first appearance in London and many will be anxious to meet the new Mistress of Rosings Park. I am afraid Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam will be under intense scrutiny tonight. Richard wishes to protect his wife and Anne is scarcely less amenable to large crowds."
"Which will send its own message in regard to mother and daughter," Elizabeth grinned back as they negotiated the crush that was the foyer. Lord and Lady Fitzwilliam with Lady Catherine entered directly behind them. Much too Lizzy surprise, her aunt and uncle's carriage managed to keep pace and they alighted directly behind them. "Your cousin is a master tactician. Next time we come to the theatre, I expect to continue my acquaintance of the new Mrs. Fitzwilliam. I do believe marriage suits both your cousins."
"I am worried," Darcy lent in further, halting their progress before the curtain to the Matlock box.
"How so," Lizzy shrived with delight as his breath cascaded over her bear neck.
"This is the first time since her marriage that Anne will be in company with her mother," Darcy stated, a scowl starting. "I would not wish an altercation in such a public place. You know my aunt too well not to suspect her character flaws."
"Then we shall have to ensure," she allowed the sparkle to reach her hazel eyes, "to aid Mr. Richard Fitzwilliam in his plot. I cannot see your cousin allowing even Mrs. Fitzwilliam's mother to embarrass her in public. I believe I shall enjoy this as much as the play."
"I never doubted it for a moment," Darcy schooled his expression, wanting the entire theatre to know the depth of his regard for Miss Bennet. With that, he indicated the servant could sweep aside the curtain and let the party into the box. As guests, they should have waited for Lord and Lady Fitzwilliam but it had been decided to let the newly betrothed couple go first. It sent a shock among those watching.
The night proved everything Elizabeth expected. The moment she appeared upon the balcony, eyes turned to see this unknown woman who had captured Mr. Darcy. After their engagement announcement in the Times yesterday, many expected the gentleman to show off his betrothed as the season wound down. Resplendent in her red Velvet, a set of Darcy jewels of diamond and ruby accompanied the note to her uncle this afternoon. They set the dress off to perfection.
"All the world is a stage, Darcy," she lent in with an ironic smile as he offered her the seat closest to the balcony's edge. Apparently Elizabeth was to be displayed for the evening. "And we seem to be more famous than the actors tonight. Do not scowl so Dearest," she teased, tightening her hold on his elbow so he looked at her with astonishment, "you cannot tell me you expected less." A delicately gloved finger touched the ruby drop at her neck.
"I did not," he returned. The teasing smile turned stoic as Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner entered to take the last seats in the box. Thankfully, Lady Susan introduced the new comers to Lady Catherine.
Many lifted their heads to the balcony to capture a glimpse of the hitherto unknown Miss Bennet. Some in shock, undoubtedly at the cut and quality of the dress on the future Mrs. Darcy, others in annoyance, but most waiting to see how the play occurring in the peer's box ended. Lady Susan continued to treat Elizabeth warmly, as if they had known each other for some time. This, followed closely by the great Lady Catherine condescension cemented Elizabeth's position as one of welcome into the Fitzwilliam clan.
After the introductions, whispers commenced among those in the crowd. Many knew Mr. Gardiner by reputation but not the relationship to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. It was soon decided the very astute and wealthy business man simply had to be Miss Elizabeth's guardian in London. The men knew both Darcy and Lord Matlock to have varied interests in trade, as did anyone wishing to increase their holdings, although such things were never discussed in polite society. This, it was speculated, is how the young woman must have captured Darcy's heart. As the inhabitants of the box settled, the ladies in the front row, their gentlemen seated behind, Lady Susan played to the crowd. She kept Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner entertained with stories of Richard and Fitzwilliam's adventures as children.
"Oh," the sound escaped Elizabeth as a new gentleman entered the Darcy Box with the rest of her sister's party. He looked so much like the Colonel, they had to be related.
"Come," Lady Susan smiled as she stood, "I am sure my nephew will not mind my stealing you for a moment. I wish you to meet my son, Viscount Henley. I am glad Henry could make the performance."
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Elizabeth," Henry bowed after his mother's introduction. "Richard has told me much of you."
"That is not true," Richard smiled. "I would not want you to steal away Darcy's betrothed."
"I doubt that is possible," Henry watched the man glowering at him. "Besides, I believe there is more than one Bennet sister who could be described at handsome."
Jane blushed furiously and Lizzy watched with pleasure, if only to see her sister react to a man. It appeared the Viscount had made quite an impression on Miss Bennet. They could not stay long as the warning bells chimed.
"Richard and Henry are twins," Lizzy asked, understanding the almost identical looks.
"Yes, although Henry arrived twenty minutes before midnight and Richard twenty minutes after," Lady Susan managed to hold back her laugh at Elizabeth's look of horror. "I believe Richard would have chaffed most dreadfully if the responsibility for Matlock where his. The army was a good choice for his misspent youth. Now he has his own estate and a wife. I truly despair of my eldest finding a woman to marry and carry on the line."
Holding her tongue, Lizzy determined to speak to Jane when they arrived home. Throughout the performance Miss Bennet continued to accept Viscount Henley's attentions and blush furiously. Lady Catherine's face held a dower expression as the ladies took their seats. It caused a titter of unease as her eyes continually strayed to the box behind them. Mrs. Anne Fitzwilliam smiled politely at her mother then lent in to whisper to her husband. After which neither acknowledged the older lady. The cut was equally noticed by all in attendance which infuriated Lady Catherine but displayed her new position in society. A Dowager only held power if her fortune was intact or she had the grace of the Master of Rosings. Lady Catherine cursed the lack of both and felt it more than ever in that moment.
All too soon intermission occurred. Lady Catherine chose to stay seated while the rest of the party moved to refresh in a private room. Anne returned quickly to the Darcy box for the intermission to avoid both her mother and well wishes alike. Miss Jane Bennet accompanied her when she sighted Caroline Bingley attempting to catch her eye. This was noticed by the crowd and much commented on. Many seemed disappointed not to meet the former Anne de Bourgh as the young woman had never appeared in public before.
Lord Fitzwilliam, his sons, nephew and Mr. Gardiner left to arrange refreshments for the ladies. They stopped to speak with a few acquaintances before returning more quickly than propriety allowed. The message could not have been clearer. The Miss Bennet's and Mrs. Fitzwilliam would enter society at their leisure. The ladies were to be seen tonight but guarded most prudently by their gentlemen. In effect, calling cards would be welcome and return visits given at Darcy's and Fitzwilliam's pleasure.
"Lizzy," Mrs. Gardiner managed a private word at the end of the performance, "you're uncle and I are to go home in our carriage. I do not want to leave the children for too long."
"I will collect Jane," Elizabeth didn't let her disappointment show.
"No," Madeline smiled, "you will go to Leighwood House for tea as planned. As it will be quite late, I had Mrs. Morton pack a trunk for you and Jane. You are to stay until Monday and go to church with your future in laws tomorrow."
"Yet another display of unity," Lizzy allowed an eyebrow to rise and sounded bemused. Lady Susan, who had been listening in to the conversation allowed a slight smile to cover her lips. She shared a look with Elizabeth which bespoke her hand behind this invitation.
"Let us say," Madeline chuckled, "an advanced manoeuvre to secure your place beside Mr. Darcy. It is well known that the Fitzwilliam's and Darcy's do not entertain on Sunday's nor accept invitations, you will dine only with the family."
"Is Jane aware of your plans?" Elizabeth requested of her aunt.
"She will be informed of the changes on the carriage ride home," Darcy entered the conversation, offering his arm. "Shall we depart?"
"I wish to retire," Lady Catherine stated without any grace.
"We will call at Honeymead," Lord Fitzwilliam announced, "before joining you at Leighwood, nephew. I believe Henry will be pleased to join us. It seems my son is quite taken with your sister, Miss Elizabeth."
"I welcome his company," Darcy bowed but Elizabeth felt his stiffness at her side.
"Whatever is the matter," Lizzy enquired as they made their way down to the entry.
"My cousin did not reach the age of two and thirty without marriage for a reason," Darcy hissed. "I will make sure his intentions are honourable toward my future sister. I agree with Aunt Susan, it is time Henry took a wife. Miss Bennet's goodness might just be the making of him but I would not wish her heart bruised again."
"You think that likely?" Lizzy tried to keep the astonishment from her tone.
"Observing them together at Leighwood will determine his intent," Darcy added cryptically.
"I am glad that is over," Elizabeth whispered into Darcy ear as they entered his home. No longer under such scrutiny, she realised how tiring decorum could be.
"I rather though you enjoyed the performance," he responded woodenly, allowing the footman to take their outerwear and then dismissing him. Leading Elizabeth into the parlour, he closed the doors. As quick as the sound of the latch engaging, he swept her into his arms. "We have but a few minutes alone and I intend to make use of it."
The kiss, when it came bared nothing. His pent up passions still restrained, Darcy nibbled at her lips so as not to frighten his betrothed with his ardour. Learning from the last encounter, Lizzy opened her mouth slightly. Pouncing, he swept his tongue inside once again. But only once for it would be scandalous if they were caught. Pulling away slowly, he continued to hold her hand, lifting it to his lips.
"Yes," she turned her head up breathlessly and looked to him with a mystified expression. "I would have preferred to be seated next to you. You aunt is ample company but I could not see your enjoyment, Dearest."
"My pleasure came from watching you," he stated, a hard, piercing expression in his eyes. Lizzy had come to understand this occurred only when all his emotions were engaged.
"Then next time," she responded, "I hope we may attend alone, that way I may hold your hand throughout the play."
"Once we are married, Elizabeth," he allowed her name to roll of his tongue in a hoarse whisper, "I shall insist upon it and much more than a single kiss once we arrive home. Alas, I hear a carriage and the door should be open when my relations enter."