Chapter 23: The Marauders

It seems their integration of the two groups is becoming a more common thing to find both in the Common Room and in the Great Hall.

And it's not that Cressida dislikes any of them from either side, but she can't help but feel as though this movement was done with her on the sidelines. She never actively made a decision to move and sit with them, nor had she invited them over.

The only consolation is that it seems she is not the only one who isn't completely comfortable with the evolving dynamics.

"Found it," Peter says, sitting down on the opposite side of the table near the bookcase that Cressida is also seated at. He places the chessboard down and begins setting up the pieces. "You want to be white?"

She smiles at him, shrugging. "I don't mind."

He gives her white.

Behind her, she can hear the roar of laughter coming from Marlene and James who have joined together in teasing Sirius about something. Mary laughs on the sidelines, sitting across a chair with her legs hanging over the armrest. Lily and Remus sit together on the chair closest to the hearth. Both of them have large grins, talking adamantly about something Cressida was never invited to join in with.

She watches them over her shoulder, unable to avoid noting how seamlessly the two previously separated groups can now sit together. If she was a stranger – a simple onlooker - she'd think they'd been friends for years. Turning back around, Peter is contently waiting for her to make the first move, so she moves a pawn forward.

Their game is purposefully slow. At the end they'd have to restart or find something else to entertain them anyway. Cressida moves her castle forward three rows. "You going home for Christmas?"

Peter shakes his head. "My parents have their thirtieth anniversary this year and they saved up to go to Italy. I've never spent Christmas at Hogwarts but I think it'll still be nice."

"Why don't you do what I did and come to James' house instead?" she suggests. He's already on the edge of their group, and she'd hate for it to topple over. "I think I'm going to do that this year."

Peter shakes his head, moving his queen diagonally along a strip of black squares. "I'd rather not intrude. Besides, I sort of want a Christmas that's quiet. Just some good pudding and a few weeks here without getting detention. Maybe then the teachers will see that it's not me that's the troublemaker."

Cressida chuckles softly, nodding in agreement. "Trust me, they know it's James and Sirius. Though I don't think they realise how much Remus helps us." Peter huffs in acknowledgement, his eyes trained on her next move. Moving her knight closer back to the first row. "And I'll stay with you, to keep you company of course."

Peter's smile turns crooked as his brows press together. "You just said you were going to James'."

Cressida sighs with a gently smile. "Yes, but I just remembered that his family is hosting some sort of ball this year for Christmas, and I don't fancy mingling with strangers all night long." A complete lie – a terrible habit she's getting into – but the price is worth the outcome. "And I want to spend a Christmas at Hogwarts too."

Peters' smile straightens once more, his attention dropping back to the board. A glint in his eye lightens and he quickly moves his queen into a new position. "Checkmate."

Cressida leans back in her chair, crinkling her nose. "Damn," she laughs.

Xx

"I want it."

The bar of chocolate is tugged away from her by equally desperate hands. "But I found it!"

Three other boys around them set up their dorm for another long night haul of working on the map. Remus and Cressida, however, are being the most unhelpful pair after discovering an oversized bar of chocolate in the stash that James and Sirius had snuck back from Hogsmeade instead of attending class.

"Even split?" Cressida bargains stiffly.

Remus scowls at her. "No. I think being the werewolf should give me chocolate privileges." Cressida gapes at his use of lycanthropy as a bargaining chip. How exactly is she supposed to argue that?

"I-I'm muggle-born!" she tries nevertheless. "And people actually know that about me."

"Hmm," Sirius hums from beside them, hands resting on his hips. "I think Moony does win this one."

She glares at him, letting the chocolate bar slip through her fingers. The nicknames, to her despair, have been growing on them more and more. But they're fond of them so she lets it slide.

Her earlier sense of alienation disappeared when they retreated back to their dorms for the night, now again in their small group that she knows so well.

"Here, princess." Cressida glances to her side. James stands there with a knowing smirk, his hand extended out towards her. There's a colourful paper bag with pink and blue stripes. She takes it, peeking inside.

Sugar quills.

"That sounded condescending," she muses, holding the bag close to her chest. "But I'll take it. Thank you."

"Glad it's to your satisfaction," he says in a mocking tone with a gleeful grin. It softens slightly, his eyes darting over her shoulder then back to her. His brows press together in a sign of unease. "Do you think I could talk to you and Sirius for a moment?"

Cressida glances over her shoulder to find the long-haired boy, but he's already found his way to her. There's a nervousness in his eyes. "Actually, I was hoping to talk to all of you first."

Cressida smiles softly at him, reaching back to squeeze his hand then offers the same expression to James. His eyes are pointed at their conjoined hands but snaps back up to her face in seconds.

James nods crisply. "Alright. First official meeting of the Marauders."

Remus raises his brows. "Marauders?" he repeats with a short laugh. "When did we come up with that name."

"Just now," James quips. "I think Padfoot and Bear have something to announce."

Cressida sighs at her nickname. How uncreative. "Just Sirius," she corrects. Sirius sits down on the floor and the end of his bed, leaning against the frame. The other boys sit around him, finding comfortable spots on the sea of blankets and pillows. She looks between the two sides, wondering where it is best to sit.

Cressida decides it's next to James. Well, any spot on the other side would have been fine, but of course she chose the one next to him for her own personal… afflictions. Her first instinct was to sit next to Sirius so she could offer him physical support but that's not the type of person he is. Sitting where he can see her straight on – he has a face in the crowd that's already accepted him fully. It'll just be like telling her again.

Sirius stares at his lap as everybody sorts themselves out and a little longer after. Cressida peeks to her right to see if she can catch James' eye but he doesn't look away from Sirius, despite her near leaning on him. Her gaze drops to her hands briefly before rising once more and smiling at Sirius.

"Okay, um," he coughs with a slow, awkward chuckle. "I really don't know if there's a way I'm supposed to do this." He wrings his hands tightly around the other, turning the skin white and his fingertips red.

She glances around again. Contentedness fills her heart as the boys have nothing but acceptance already on their minds. "Whatever it is, Padfoot, you know you're one of us." Cressida smiles wider, letting her hand slide to the side and her fingers wrap around James' wrist to squeeze it in thanks on behalf of her friend. Finally, James glances in her direction but it's her turn to keep her head forward.

Sirius nods with a shaky smile. James pulls his arm from her grip, covering it up by reaching up to scratch his neck but even Cressida can tell from the corner of her eye how forced the movement is. She feels ill. Like stuck on a ship in the middle of a storm ill. He didn't even want a friendly gesture from her.

"I like guys," Sirius declares, his voice much smoother than before. "And girls, sometimes. But mostly men." Cressida smiles softly at the confession. He lets out a loud sigh of relief as a weight that's been pressing on him for many months now finally lifts. "No, i-it's just men."

Peter is the first to respond verbally. "You mean like romantically?" He doesn't look horrified or disgusted as Sirius had told her his worry that they might be. Peter just sounds curious, and maybe a little confused.

Sirius nods. "Yeah."

Cressida moves her eyes onto Remus. His lips are drawn up more on the right side, his arms folded loosely over his stomach as he leans against the front of his own bed. "You care too much about your hair to be straight," he states with a grin. Sirius lapses into airy laughter, ruffling his hair about, as does the rest of the room.

"So now we can get a second opinion about who's the most attractive of us," James says, tone filled with lightness and acceptance. "Because I think Cress has been manipulated."

"First of all," she begins, "I've never even told you who I think the most attractive person here is. Second of all, it's going to be me, so don't even bother asking him." The room roars in disagreement, even Sirius shrivelling his nose and shaking his head, motioning to himself.

"It has to be me!" James cries at them.

Cressida's jaw is open with narrowed eyes. "I told you, it's going to be me. I have the best hygiene out of all of you! And maybe not the best clothes, but I always have shoes that match them!"

"So do I!"

"Hang on!" Peter calls out. "I thought Sirius and Cress were-" He holds a finger up to represent each of them and presses them together. "You know. Kissey."

Cressida smiles gently, looking to Sirius and the rest of the room follows her line of sight. At some point in their arguing, they've raised to the feet. "Ah," Sirius says, clicking his tongue against his teeth. He saunters forward, wrapping his arms around her neck from behind. "No," he answers Peter. "We-I made that up, because… I thought that people might catch on and I wasn't ready for anybody to know. I love Cress, but in a very platonic way."

Her nose scrunches up with a beaming grin as she tips her head back onto his chest. "Thank Merlin I feel the same way."

"You knew," James muses. "How long?"

"Only a few weeks."

He nods slowly. "That would explain why you never actually got together. Can't say I wasn't confused by that, but it makes sense now."

"I didn't think through the logistics of everything when I said I felt that same way," she admits with a small chuckle, remembering the panicked conversation she had. "I just didn't want his fake crush to be unreciprocated. I was trying to be a good friend."

Remus points between them. "But you two have kissed."

Sirius makes a sound of disgusted agreement. Cressida's jaw drops, pulling his arms off and smacks his chest with the back of her hand. "Bastard," she hisses. "For the record, yours wasn't the best either."

"Petty," he retorts. "But to save you some dignity, you weren't bad, you just need a flatter chest."

Her mouth snaps shut, half-glaring, half-submitting to that fact. In the end, she can only shrug a shoulder in agreement. "So, to sum up the first meeting of the…the…"

"Marauders," James fills in.

"Marauders," she continues. "Sirius is gay. We don't like each other. I'm the most attractive. And the best kisser. There's no need to contend. Thank you." Not shockingly, her declaration is met with another round of uproar.

They fall back into their seats, high-spirited and louder than usual (thank Merlin for the silencing charm on their dorm). Falling to her natural spot next to James, she leans close to his ear once more. "See, I told you there's nothing to worry about with Sirius."

He nods stiffly, but with a small smile. "Can I ask then, if Sirius wasn't the best, who was?"

She almost laughs. She almost answers him truthfully. "Elias," she answers instead of his name. He pulled away from her, now she has to do the same. Honestly the kiss with Elias wasn't even considered anything proper. Just a momentary peck on the lips at the end of their date. "And I definitely don't like 'princess'. It makes me sound spoilt."

James doesn't nod, only looking away. "Noted."