Chapter 33: To Save Another

Minor TW

There have been many odd experiences that Cressida has had over her short life of sixteen years. Some of them involved her family, others were with her friends. And she's learnt along the way to take the unexpected as they come.

But she also has never imagined having her arm draped over the shoulder of the disgruntled Hog's Head innkeeper and having her slightly delirious self, hauled back to the Hogwarts' grounds.

The sky is a dark hue of blue-black, alit by the moon in a waning gibbous. So far away from any lights, the sky's heaven is open for her mortal eyes to lay upon. Some twinkle, or a fleeting in brightness. Others are steadfast and strong.

The carriages that should've taken her back were long gone, but in her defence, Cressida had only awoken an hour or two ago. The sight was unfamiliar, but she soon figured out that she was lying in the bed of one of the rooms at the Inn. She could tell by the smell.

Her head pounded, and still does. Something alcohol wouldn't fix, which the man carrying her muttered about being the only medicine he carried. Cressida is thankful that he is kind enough to help her back to her school, but she's also not quite sure if it is out of kindness that he's doing so.

They haven't spoken much other than what is necessary and his incoherent mumbling. A terrible habit she notices he has.

"You should learn to hold your alcohol if you're going to demand it off me."

Cressida's footwork is atrocious, but she has full control of her eyes and sends them piercing into the side of his head. "I can handle a drink. I can handle many," she mutters indignantly. "I told you, I had a long night."

"I have a feeling this one will be long as well considering you slept all day."

What a charmer, she thinks to herself. Cressida holds her tongue, knowing that he is the only reason she is able to go back to where she belongs at this very moment. The rest of the journey is in relative silence once more until they are upon the doorsteps of the main entrance to Hogwarts from the road. The large pendulum steadily swinging from left to right in a way that's almost mesmerising.

A single person is stepping down the stairs at an upbeat pace. As the light of the moon strikes their face, Cressida is honestly content to see Professor McGonagall coming towards her. Minvera's hair is in a loose bun that hangs more than usual. She is still wearing some sort of dark grey robes, but these ones are more comfortable and casual looking than anything she'd wear to teach her classes.

"Oh, Miss Hawthorne!" she cries. Cressida smiles at her Head of House, no doubt looking a bit lopsided. There's a frightful glint behind her eyes, no doubt having been wondering where her student has been. "Thank goodness." Cressida's heart is touched by the sincerity in her tone.

The man carrying her stops a few feet from the bottom of the stairs, letting McGonagall finish shortening the distance between them. "I see my owl reached you," he says. His voice is no less gruff, but also warmer than anything she's yet to hear from his mouth. "I'd say she needs something for her head."

"And my ears," Cressida says softly. "I've had to listen to this grouch muttering in them the entire way." Maybe she can get a smile out of him. And maybe her ears betray her, but the man huffs, and Cressida could swear that she hears a hint of mirth behind it.

McGonagall looks her over carefully. "Yes, I do quite agree." She takes Cressida's arm and allowing the man to finally be relieved of her burdenous self. McGonagall leans closer to the man, nodding her head. "Thank you, Aberforth."

Aberforth, the man who she hadn't even asked the name of finally smiles. It's not wide or really anything beautiful, but it's there. "Thank you," Cressida adds. "I'm not exactly the most delightful company." Aberforth glances her over before deciding his response.

"Better than most who end up in my Inn." With that, he turns around and begins his slow and long trek back to Hogsmeade. Cressida watches him, leaning on McGonagall's shoulder. "Strange man."

Ignoring her remark, McGonagall says to her, "Cressida dear, I think we should get you up to the Hospital Wing." She hums in agreement and lets the older lady guide her back into the quiet castle. "I'll go inform Mister Pettigrew that you have been found," she says as they walk through the corridor where the infirmary lays. "He and Potter were quite worried about your whereabouts."

They walk through to the wing which is just as quiet as the rest of the castle. A figure takes up one of the beds on the right. Remus. James was worried about her? Bastard is the one who told her to leave. Cressida also doesn't miss the lack of mention of Sirius.

Planting her backside on one of the clean, white beds, she feels an overwhelming need to apologise. "I'm really sorry, Professor. I honestly didn't mean to cause any worry."

McGonagall smiles softly, squeezing her shoulder. "I understand dear. Aberforth explained what he knew in his letter, and I put it together with what has occurred recently. I want to assure you that Professor Dumbledore has everything under control. And Mister Lupin's condition will remain completely confidential."

"I'm sure Remus was glad to hear that," Cressida murmurs.

Madam Pomfrey is awoken, leaving McGonagall to alert her friends of her whereabouts. The entire time that Pomfrey examines her head and retrieves a potion of some sort, Cressida watches Remus' sleeping form. "Why is he still in here?" she finally questions the matron. He's usually out by the afternoon after.

"Poor dear had a rough night it seems," Pomfrey answers with a sweetly sympathetic tone. "He should be out by tomorrow."

Cressida lies in that bed for another hour or so after the matron leaves to go back to her own chambers. She continues watching Remus sleep. He's calm. Gentle. She can't imagine what he's feeling – she can't guess what it is.

Unable to sleep with so many thoughts buzzing around her head, Cressida slips out of her blankets and her socked feet touch the stone floor. Tiptoeing across the room, she makes her way next to the boy's bed. The blanket is pulled underneath his arms, revealing the bandage across his shoulder. She had inflicted that.

As cautiously as she can, Cressida lays a hand on the boy's arm and rouses him. It takes a few shakes but eventually his eyes snap open before tiredly blinking. "Cress?" he croaks. "Hey. What time is it?"

"Late," she whispers, unable to take her eyes off of his shoulder. "Does it hurt?"

Remus stares at her, realising what she is inferring and glances down to his shoulder. "No." She can't tell if he's lying or not. "Not at all. Are you alright though? James came down here earlier and said he couldn't find you."

"I went to Hogsmeade," she answers in the same whisper as before. "He told me to go. I don't know why he was so worried."

Remus tilts his lips upwards. "Maybe because all the carriages had come back and you weren't on them." Cressida presses her eyes closed, lip quivering. Remus sits up, his uninjured arm reaching out. "Cress? What's going on? Why are you crying?"

"Because I hurt you." A fisted hand covers her mouth. Her throat hurts from struggling to contain herself but there's no stopping the flood of guilt flowing through every inch of you. "I didn't even think that I was going to be hurting you, I just acted. But it is you."

Remus sighs knowingly, pulling her hand away from her face. "You were protecting James," he corrects gently. He pulls her down to his cot, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Cressida pulls her knees close to her chest, pressing her forehead against them. "You stopped me from doing anything worse."

She can't bring herself to find any comfort in his words. He would say those things no matter if he believed them or not if it meant making her feel better. That's just the person he is. So she cries, whispering her apologies over and over again.

"You're going to have to leave my bed before morning. Otherwise, Pomfrey will have a conniption about obscene things happening in her Hospital Wing," Remus taunts once she seems to calm down. Cressida sniffs, her nose pressed against the side of his shoulder. They've lain down at one point or another, Cressida on her side and Remus on his back. He sighs again, rubbing his hand up and down her arm that lays across his stomach. "Sirius came and apologised to me."

"He did?"

"Yeah." Cressida opens her eyes to read his face. It's placid and remorseful. "Part of me hates him for it. But… I also can't hate him. I know who he is as a person. He doesn't think about how his actions affect others." She agrees with his words. Sirius is a loyal friend and one that would go to the ends of the earth for James, but at the same time, when he does do things, he's not thinking about how he might hurt people in the process. "I know that he wanted to hurt Snape. And I know what he did was horrible."

"But he's still Sirius," she finishes. Remus nods slowly. "I can't imagine life without him. And to be honest, I don't think I'd have much of a life without him."

She can feel the movement of his muscles underneath her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

His voice is quiet and unsure, almost afraid of what she will answer. Cressida blinks slowly, watching the low moon through the uncurtained window. "I haven't really told anybody this, but back in third year I wasn't… happy. I mean, I'm sure you noticed it, but I don't think anybody actually understood what was going through my head. My family sucks, Remus. Maybe not in the same way as Sirius' but they still suck. And I knew that at the end of every year I'd have to go back to them and I hated it. I told Sirius because I knew he'd understand.

"In third year, I didn't want to go back at all. I was in a bit of a dark place. I see awful things in my house that no child should ever have to see. I was close with James, but not close enough that I felt like I could ask to spend an entire Summer there. I didn't know what to do. But Sirius was there for me. He found me one night at the top of the Astronomy Tower." She feels a sudden tenseness grow in his muscles. "I wasn't going to… I was just thinking… He talked to me; promised me that life gets better. Convinced me to go to James' early that year."

"I had no idea."

"I don't like talking about it. But if I don't have him, then I don't have myself. He's saved me too many times."

I think this chapter really provides a good insight into the background of Sirius and Cressida, set before the story begins. And really cements their relationship and dynamic.

Anyhow, thank you all again. You're amazing as usual and I can't wait to see your reactions to upcoming chapters... Hehe.