Gamelover41592: Thanks!
Chance Green G King: Thanks for the idea, man. I know it wasn't what you originally wanted to see, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it nonetheless.
1jesus: Thanks, man!
LoamyCoffee: I'm already doing a Steven Universe story. But I don't blame you. Bravest Warriors is a strange series that not many know about.
Guest (Bobby Jenkins): I could do it with Adventure Time, but it will be weird to do. Both shows are made by the same guy.
RedHood001: Thanks. I'll definitely try and do good and sad endings for the story. As for the Bill Cipher family member, I'm not sure.
coldblue2015: Thank you very much. I haven't actually seen much of you late. "Heroes of Tomorrow" was updated if you want to check it out.
South Down: Well, it'll be happening more soon.
Guest (Matt): Thank you.
gods-own: Thanks!
BLACK-BIRD76: I think things will get pretty intense and even personal.
Dcraus: I'll do more. I'm thinking of having Summerween parodied with the episode, The House of Discontent.
Saberwolf155: Yes, I am.
: I will not have Bill win in the end.
Guest (JJ): I've kind of already have a Highschool of the Dead story planned.
Guest (Flynn): I don't watch the 100. I just wasn't that interested.
gabeherndon308: You've been pushing that story on me lot. Anyways, we've already talked about it.
Guest (M): I haven't seen Tekken, but I've heard about Maken-ki. As for Blue Exorcist, I'd like to do that series.
crawforddarius7: I'll think about it.
Guest: That's definitely going to be a very long and never-ending story.
It's been a few days since the party at the Mystery Shack. The same night that Patrick was forced to kill his mirror clone, Maverick. His heart was still heavy, and the teen was often unable to sleep for days. He hasn't eaten as much as he used to, and was often lost in his thoughts.
Eventually he told the twins about what happened, after they frequently asked him what happened that night. They were surprised when Patrick told them he cloned himself, but found it funny how Maverick stole Robbie's bike. However, Dipper and Mabel were horrified that Maverick was going to kill their cousin to keep himself alive. And then Patrick told them how he killed his clone.
Mabel and Dipper were shocked and horrified. Not because he killed his own clone, but because their cousin almost died. The sister broken into tears and hugged him tightly, with Dipper also joining him for a group hug. Afterwards, they told Patrick that what happened wasn't his fault, and that he was forced to break Maverick. Despite knowing this, Patrick still didn't feel all that good about it.
So, the twins told him that they'll do whatever they could to help him feel better.
And that's what led to this moment.
In the town, the Pines family was sitting in Grunkle Stan's car while they were stuck in traffic.
Stan was starting to get very irritated with the traffic and honked the horn, while the kids were sitting in the back-eating chips. Patrick was sitting in between them. The bags under his eyes were more noticeable and turned a darker shade, due a result of him not being able to get much sleep. During the first days, he also wasn't eating, but luckily the twins were able to convince him to start again.
He felt a tap on his shoulder, and looked at Mabel to see that she attached nachos chips to her ears. "Haha! Check it out, Patrick. Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!" She said in an attempt to funny.
Patrick stared at her with his tired eyes and smiled. "That's very much debatable," he told her. Patrick knew that while she was being prideful of herself, she really was trying to cheer him up.
"Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic?" Stan exclaimed in frustration, squinting his eyes at was in front of him. "And why is it all..."
Crossing in front of the car were old covered wagons being pulled by horses. The one in front of them had a family who waved at them.
Patrick blinked. "Was that a covered wagon?"
But at that moment, Stan panicked like never before. "Oh no! No! No!" He yelled, looking to his left and right to see more wagons on both sides of his car. Stan quickly stomped the gas pedal and made a sharp turn, driving down another road. "Not today! Not today!"
"Stop the car!" Patrick yelled, fearfully pointing to a few women in front of them. Stan hit the brakes and stopped the car before he could run them over. This spooked the women of course, but they saw that they were carrying baskets of apples while wearing old clothing. And there was even a swan with them.
Stan quickly shifted into reverse and began driving the car backwards.
"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Dipper inquired, as he and Mabel were as freaked out as Patrick.
"We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!" Stan exclaimed, looking over his shoulder to see where he was going. He then suddenly brought the car to a shrieking stop. Looking all around, Stan saw that they were now trapped between a group of covered wagons that were circling around the car. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!"
While Patrick and Dipper were wondering what the heck just happened, Mabel heard the sound of a cow bell from her side. She looked outside her window and sees a cow staring at her with big cute eyes. "I've gotta good feeling about today," she told the others.
Patrick said, "I don't."
{Play Stranger Things theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}
[0:00-0:03]
At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness.
[0:03-0:08]
Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion.
[0:08-0:11]
Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance.
[0:11-0:14]
Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows.
[0:14-0:16]
One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling.
[0:16-0:19]
Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber.
[0:19-0:25]
The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile.
[0:25-0:40]
The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again.
[0:40-45]
Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light.
WEIRDER THINGS
[0:45-end]
It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared.
Chapter Eight
Irrational History
Patrick, the twins and Stan got out of the car, and the three kids started walking around. Looking around in wonder that the old fashioned-looking Main Street.
"Man. Look at the town," said Dipper, before the three stopped. He held up a postcard up for a second, showing the modern-day version of Gravity Falls with color. When he lowered it, they were looking that the town as it was a sepia shade, but it is just due to a pane of dirty glass being carried by two workers.
"Dirty glass," said one worker, holding one end of the pane of dirty glass. They walked by and the town's colors were restored. "We got dirty glass! Dirty glass."
"It's like we went back in time," Patrick commented.
"Much worse," Stan grumbled as he walked up behind them. "It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded."
"Welcome to 1863!" Toby Determined walked over to them, dressed like a news pa, and held out a newspaper that he grabbed from his bag of newspapers.
"I will break you, little man!" Stan held up a fist, threatening to punch the man. This was enough to scare the ugly man and sent him running for the hill. Only to crash into a barrel.
"Wow! Look! Candle dipping!" Mabel exclaimed happily, pointing to some women candle dripping the old-fashion way.
"Whoa, gold panning!" Dipper pointed to people doing the very activity. Old Man McGucket, who is also gold panning, can be heard, saying "Gold!"
Patrick's attention was then caught by a wedding that was going. "Hey, look! A wedding!" but his joy was turned into confusion when a man had a woodpecker on his arm.
"I now pronounce you man and wife," the priest said to the man and…woodpecker?!
The woodpecker pecked her husband's hand, and then the man proclaimed, "I do!"
Patrick deadpanned, as the twins stared with him. "What the fuck? Is that even allowed!?"
"Oh yeah. I remember this," said Dipper before pulling out Journal 3. He flipped through the pages before stopping at a specific page. "In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers."
The woodpecker guy heard them and walked over. "Oh, it's still legal," he told them. He then looked at his new wife and placed a hand on his shoulder, where the woodpecker is perched. "Very legal."
He walked away as Patrick's tired eyes stared in disbelief. "WHAT MORON WOULD MAKE THAT LEGAL!?" He yelled loudly, before an announcer spoke.
"Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!" The announcer said.
The twins already wanted to go, so they looked at Patrick. He looked at them and saw them wordlessly asking if he wanted to go and see. Who knows, it could be fun. "Hey, Stan, you coming," he asked, prompting the kids to smile. Now knowing that he wanted to go.
"No, thank you!" Stan denied with a stretched-out hand. "Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me."
Dipper decided to test him on his word. He closed one eye and started talking like a pioneer. "There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!"
"Well hornswabber my haversack!" Mabel mimicked what Dipper was doing.
Patrick chuckled and joined in on the action. It's moments like this that he's more than happy to have them as his cousins. "Then let's get our rawhides on over," he said in a cowboy-like voice, while standing like one with his hands on his hips and his thumbs in his pants, pretending that he was holding a belt.
They then spit like prospectors on the ground, before running off, laughing.
"Dead to me!" Stan yelled after them and waved a fist.
Not noticing a shadowy figure watching him from afar. They stood there for a moment, before walking away.
Patrick and the twins arrived at where the townsfolk were gathered in a crowd at the assembly. The ceremony was staged on a large wooden stage made from wooden planks and logs.
"Here-ye, here-ye!" Sheriff Blubs said into a microphone while wearing a coonskin cap. Behind him, sitting in some chairs was Pacifica and her family. "Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence."
"Woo!" Deputy Durland ran onto the stage while ringing a cow bell. Unlike his partner, who only had on the hat and still wore his police uniform, Durland was completely dressed like a prospector. "I got a bell!"
While he continued to ring the bell, a robber dressed like a bandit was able to grab an old woman's purse and steal it, before making a break for it. "Oh, no! Police, my purse!" The elder cried out, before they all heard the sound of something hitting someone.
They all looked to see Patrick had knocked out the bandit with his crowbar. He picked up the purse and walked over to the old woman. "Here you are."
"Oh, thank you," she said gratefully.
Neither Durland or Blubs attempted to do anything about the now knocked out robber. Durland just started ringing the bell with a great amount of enthusiasm. "Ring ring! Ring ring! Woo!"
Blubs chuckled fondly and shook his head. "He sure loves his bell."
"Idiots," Patrick grumbled.
Pacifica then walked up to the microphone. Like everyone else, she was dressed up for Pioneer Day. Wearing a light turquoise dress with a purple belt around it, and a yellow belt buckle in the front. She also wore black leggings underneath her cream boots and had a coonskin cap. Attached to her ears are purple arrowhead earrings and she had a skinny purple bracelet around her arm.
Patrick noticed that Dipper had on a slight blush on his face, and raised an eyebrow. Didn't he say he didn't like this girl?
Pacifica taped the microphone and turned to face the crowd. "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest." She announced while posing identically to the statue she was gesturing to. It was a large statue of Nathaniel Northwest. "I'm also very rich."
Her parents and the crowd applauded. Okay, now Patrick was starting to see why Dipper didn't like the girl.
"Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself."
Mabel gasped with a big grin. "Audience participation!"
"Mabel, isn't that girl kinda like your archenemy?" Dipper inquired, glancing at Pacifica as she nonchalantly looked at her nails.
"That's water under the bridge," Mabel insisted, before running get onstage, while laughing.
The girl twin walked over to Pacifica's right side, as the blonde gestured to her. "Our first newcomer is..." She looked at who walked up, but when Pacifica saw it was Mabel, she glared angrily at her. "Mabel..."
"Yeah!" Mabel yelled, jumping in front of Pacifica. "Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!"
"USA! USA!" Patrick, Dipper, and the crowd cheered all together.
Then some guy next to Patrick, who was wearing a baseball hat with the American flag and a yellow tank top with the same flag shouted while crying tears of joy. "USA, USA!"
"I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous." Pacifica wasted no time and insulted Mabel. She focused on Mabel's sweater. "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?"
"Hey, I can be serious!" Mabel insisted, before making a poor attempt to glares hat her.
"You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon."
Shocked, Mabel touched her nacho earrings and blushed in embarrassment.
"Hey!" Dipper yelled angrily at Pacifica, as he just about heard enough from the girl. "Back off, you can't talk to my sister like that!"
"Haha, wow, I'm embarrassed for you," she told Dipper, before placing a hand on Mabel's shoulder and looked to the audience. "Give her a hand, everybody!"
The crowd applauded. However, Patrick and Dipper looked worried. Mabel's mouth trembled a little, before she started to sadly walk off the stage.
"Now who wants to hear more about me?"
"No one, you bitch!" Patrick snapped at the Northwest, before he and Dipper started making their way through the crowd to get to Mabel. For him, it was no longer about forgetting about what happened to Maverick. All he wanted was to cheer up Mabel. When the two caught up to the young girl, he asked, "Hey, you okay?"
"I need some old-timey butterscotch," Mabel told them in a miserable tone.
"Let's get out of here," Dipper said, throwing a glare at Pacifica over his shoulder. And with that, the Pines kids leave the festival.
Meanwhile, Stan was in his car trying to get out of town. However, that wasn't going anywhere because the back wheels were stuck in the mud. He grumbled upon seeing he wasn't getting out and was just about to get out and walk back when he saw a man and his donkey walking by his window. "Hey there, uh, donkey boy! Give me a hand with my car, huh," he asked.
"Here in 1863, I have never heard-tell of a 'car,'" the man said, before poking the car with a crowbar. "Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?"
"Ah, c'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for fuck's sake! Cut me some slack." Stan demanded.
"'Slack?' I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression," Steve said, still keeping up the act.
"I can't take this anymore!" Stan finally snapped and grabbed Steve by the collar, shaking him around. "I'm getting dumber every second I'm here, you son of a bitch!"
Then out of nowhere, Blubs and Durland ran up alongside the car, nightsticks in their hands. "Are we gonna have to intervene here?"
Stan complied, but wasn't really taking the cops all that serious. Knowing that they were two of the dumbest people in Gravity Falls. "Oh, look. The 'Constable.' What are you gonna do? Throw me in 'ye stocks?'" He mocked the two before laughing at them.
A few moments later
It turned out, that that's what they were going to do. With a set of stocks that were continentally a few meters away from where they were originally. With Stan bent and his neck and hands on the lower board, the upper board closed down, trapping him in the restraining device. "Aw, c'mon!" Stan yelled. His attention was then caught by the humming voice of Gideon. The little boy was walking by wearing old fashioned, nobleman attire, carrying a large bag of tomatoes. "Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look less girly than usual." He then started laughing.
"Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer, selling his wares. Whoops, I dropped one," Gideon said with fake innocence. He then threw one of his tomato at Stan's right eye. "Whoops, I dropped another one." Gideon then threw another tomato, which hit Stan's left eye.
"Ugh!" With his fury rising and tomatoes still covering his eyes, Stan looked up at the sky and screams: "PIONEER DAY!"
"Jeez, Stanly. Look at you. Causing trouble wherever you go." Stan's anger quickly halted when he heard that voice. It was old and elderly, but he could never forget that female voice. Could it be? It couldn't be.
A hand then reached out and whipped away the smashed tomatoes off his face, and Stan saw that standing in front of him was an elder woman around his age with grey hair that was tied into a bun. Her eyes were black, with pale skin. She was wearing old fashion clothing too.
"You never changed," she said to him with a smirk.
Stan stared at the woman with wide, shocked eyes. "Veronica?"
As for Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel, the three Pines kids were sitting in front of the large statue of Nathaniel Northwest. After the teenager bought them some snacks, they just sat there on the stone steps of the statue. Looking miserable.
But out of all of them, Mabel looked the worst. She unwrapped one of the pieces of candy that Patrick gave her and ate it. "Can I ask you guys something," Mabel asked in a serious tone. "Do you think I'm silly?" Sitting on both sides of her, Patrick and Dipper shared nervous glance.
"We are not legally required to answer these questions," they said together.
The reply was enough to get Mabel upset and she slapped herself on the head. "I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater."
"C'mon, Mabel, being silly is kind of you think!" Patrick said, placing a hand on her elbow. He forgot all about Maverick, and was only worried about helping his cousin. "Besides, you love that sweater!"
"I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!" Mabel said, looking like she was going to cry. She then threw off her nacho earrings, took off her sweater, and tied it around her waist. "I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke."
Patrick was wanting to point out that it wasn't charming that she also bullied her brother and acted like a brat at times, but decided not to. This wasn't the time. As for the twin brother, Dipper stood up, turned around, and glared at the statue of the Northwest's ancestor. "Why does Pacifica think that being related to the town founder means she can treat everyone like garbage," he inquired.
"Tell me about it. Pacifica wouldn't be acting all though if she wasn't," Patrick said, punching his left fist into his right palm. "Someone needs to take her down a peg."
As soon as his cousin said that, Dipper gasped. "Wait a minute! That's it!" Dipper told them, before pulling out Journal 3. "I feel like I read something about Pacifica's great-great grandfather before." He flipped through the pages before stopping. "Of course! Oh, this is perfect." Dipper held the book so that he was grabbing one end, and Patrick was holding the other. With Mabel between them, they were looking at it together. Dipper then spoke in a deep voice, "In my investigations..."
Patrick raised an idea brow at him. "What are you doing?"
Dipper used his normal voice to ask, "Should- should I do the voice?"
"Nuh uh." Mabel shook her head with one eye closed and her teeth showing.
"I'll just read... normal." And so, Dipper used his normal voice to read from the journal. "In my investigations I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the true founder of Gravity Falls! I believe this secret is emburied somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code."
Patrick saw the document that was folded and taped to the second page and opened it. They gasped when it was revealed that the document was covered by a complex series of letters, symbols and words. Along with a large triangle with an eye. Just seeing the eyes didn't really give Patrick a good feeling. But he was still excited. It could be an adventure just like in Indiana Jones or the Goonies! "Oh, man! Do you have any idea what this means!" He told the two with wide, excited eyes. "If this cover-up is true, it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud.
"This could be a major conspiracy!" Dipper exclaimed, taking the document. "I got to investigate this!"
Mabel then got up. "Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?"
"Oh yeah, definitely."
"Well, if I help you crack this code, then nobody could call me silly again!"
"Count me in," Patrick said, with a smile. Even though he still looked like a wreck, he was bright as day. "I've always wanted to do something like this. Besides, it's not that dangerous. What do you say, Mystery Crew?"
"I thought you hated that," Mabel said.
"Oh, I do. I really do," Patrick said with a strained smile. The only reason he wanted to go with the name is because this was all to get back at Pacifica and to cheer up Mabel.
They three fist bumped and started to run off. Mabel grabbed her bag of candy, dropping some as she followed her family. However, unbeknownst to them was that Sheriff Blubs was behind the statue, listening to everything they were saying. Blubs got nervous and picked up his walkie-talkie. "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia!"
[What?! And what are you doing about it?]
Blubs looked over the corner to see where the kids were running off to. "I'm following them right now."
[Find them and stop them. There's no room for error.]
"I understand. Blubs out," he said to the anonymous caller and then turned to Durland, who was standing in front of him. "Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?"
Durland yelled while ringing his bell. "Woo!"
"Hehe, if being delightful was a crime, you'd be breaking the law," Blubs chuckled.
"Let's go get 'em!" Durland exclaimed, before the two ran off after the three Pines kids.
"Back in the olden days, pioneers drew subsistence from telling stories 'round the fire," Old Man McGucket told to some children that were sitting around the fireplace inside the Gravity Falls Library. In a cozy section of the library. "So let's eat some books, children! Go ahead, eat the books!" McGucket bit into the book he had open and started tearing off a part of it like an animal.
Meanwhile, just a few feet away, Patrick, Dipper and Mabel were at a table with a couple of books on it that they were reading.
As the teenager and female twin were sitting a reading, Dipper was standing in front of a painting of Nathaniel Northwest. Glaring at it with the document in hand. "Alright, Mabel and Patrick, if we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put Pacifica in her place."
"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious," Mabel said, before glaring into at a book she was looking at. The twin then lapped up a few pieces of candy, that were on the table, into her mouth with her tongue. "Seeeeriousss..."
Patrick deadpanned at her, before turning to Dipper. "So, what do we have to do?"
"We just need to crack this code," the male twin responded, before placing some slides into a projector. He then held up the document up and turned on the device. "Let me see... it's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not—" he stopped on one slide "wait-of course!" He held the paper up to one of the symbols that was a triangle. "The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!"
"So, we have to burn the paper—the same one that's going to give us all the answers?" Patrick said, hoping that Dipper knows just how insane that all seems.
"It's so obvious!" Mabel, being Mabel, agreed with her brother.
With that, Dipper picked up a lit candle. "Alright, let's just light this sucker up and—Mabel!" Dipper snapped after seeing that his sister had folded the document into a paper hat and was now wearing it.
"Mwop! I just made a hat," she said, before looking up. That's when she realized what she was doing was silly. And not to mention stupid. "Ugh, I just did something silly again." She then blew a raspberry.
Patrick looked at the hat closely as gasped. "Wait, Mabel." Patrick took the candle from Dipper and held it close to the paper hat/document. He gasped when he saw it was now a map. "You folded it into a map!"
"And I was gonna burn it..." Dipper said, criticizing himself. Why did he ever think that burning would be the right thing to do?
"We're on the lookout for two kids and a teenager who might be reading." The sound of Sheriff talking to a librarian caught the kids' attention, and they looked down towards the entrance to see the two dumb cops standing there. With their left sides facing the Pines.
"We're hunting them down for secret reasons!" Durland said, before ringing his bell. "WOO!"
Patrick and the twins ducked down and hide under the table. This was bad. They had to get out of there. But why were the two after them? They watched as Durland knocked a row of books off a shelf while saying "DERP!" and then they turned around and left. "You don't think that they're after us, right," Patrick asked.
"I don't know," Dipper said with a serious face. He really didn't know. But if he had to guess, it's that the cops were hired by the Northwest family to keep them from the truth. "Maybe we should take this elsewhere..."
Mabel took off the hat and held it between them. "This map should lead us to..."
"...The Gravity Falls Museum of History." Mabel, Dipper, and Patrick stopped in front of said museum. Looking up at its Greek/Roman inspired exterior.
"You realize what this means, you two," Dipper said, before looking up and squinted.
"We're gonna have to break in." He said that last part in a dramatic way.
"...And here are your free Pioneer Day passes, and your balloons, blue, pink, red," said a woman after the three were inside the museum at the entrance. The woman handed them their passes and their balloons. Dipper got the blue, Mabel got the pink, and Patrick got the red balloon.
Still thinking that they were breaking in, Dipper looked up and squinting again. "We're in."
And so, the three started walking through the museum. They had no idea where they were going to find the next clue, so Mabel asked, "What are we gonna do next, steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?"
Dipper and Patrick looked at her in disgust. "Ewww, no. According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right... here!" Dipper lowered the map, and looked at the art piece in front of them. It was a triangular, abstract, stone piece that was mounted on the wall.
"Then we better do this fast," Patrick told them with a serious tone. He and the twins approached the piece. "Those cops weren't at the library to check out books."
"I don't think the one with the bell can read," Mabel said.
"So, what is it anyway," Dipper asked, and all three of them stared at the exhibit. Trying to analyze it to make any sense of it. The hummed together like a thinking group of scholars. All this looking at old things made Mabel start to get bored. So, she turned and walked over to a bench that was behind them to sit down.
Resting her head on her hands, she continued looking at it. Mabel then started getting into different positions on the bench. "Hey painting, be less stupid!" She demanded, before turning upside-down on the bench. However, while upside down, she gasped and pointed at the painting. "It worked!"
"Huh?" Patrick and Dipper looked at her with wide eyes. Did she really have the right idea? Running over, both males laid upside-down on the bench.
Once upside-down, they were stunned to see that the painting now showed an angel with her eyes closed, an open bible in her right hand, and pointing to something with her left hand.
"Great Scott!" Patrick gasped. "It's not abstract, it's upside-down!"
"I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery," Mabel told them.
"Let's go! Quick!" Dipper exclaimed, before the three stood up-right and got off the bench. Once they did, however, they started to experience a head rush. Making them hold their heads in pain.
Meanwhile, in the front entrance, Blubs and Durland were talking to the woman. "I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons," she said sincerely to the Deputy, who wanted a pink balloon, while his partner got a blue one.
Durland looked down in disappoint. "Why did we even come?"
[Officer Blubs.]
Hearing the man's voice over the walkie-talkie startled Blubs enough to make him let go of his balloon. He and Durland ran into the museum so that they were out of earshot. Once they were, he picked up the walkie-talkie. "Blubs here."
[Have the targets been apprehended?]
"Negative, but we're close. I promise, those kids'll never get past us," Blubs said. Only to eat those words when Patrick, Dipper, Mabel ran right past them. "Hey! Wait!" But the Pines kids didn't stop and ran out of the museum.
Back with Stan and the woman, Veronica, the two were still where they were. Stan was trying to get out of the stock, while Veronica pulled up a rocking chair and was knitting. At first they were talking to each other like old friends wanting to catch up on lost time, until their attention was caught by the sound of the woodpecker guy arguing with his newly wedded wife. "This is just sad," Veronica said with a smirk, looking through the window.
"For the last time, we are not going south for the winter! Our home is here!" yelled the man. The woodpecker pecked at the table. "You always say that!" He then kicked open the door and stormed out of the house.
"You know you can at least try and help me," Stan said through his teeth, with a hairpin in his mouth. He got it from Veronica, who wasn't going to help him. She wanted to see if he could get out himself. But also used it as an opportunity to get him to stay and talk.
"I know. But come on, where's the fun in that," asked Veronica with a chuckle.
Stan groaned, irritated, before going back and struggling to get out of the stocks by using the hairpin to unlock the lock. "C'mon! C'mon, ugh!" He wasn't successful and dropped the pin.
Then, to make matters even worse than they were, Pacifica walked over and picked up the pin. Seeing that it was Stan, she decided to have some fun. "Well, if it isn't Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this," she asked mockingly, holding up the pin.
"Yeah, yeah. What d' ya want, money," Stan asked in annoyance.
"I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls," Pacifica said checking her nails.
"Oh sure, you want that in writing," Veronica asked rhetorically, still knitting.
Pacifica's right eye twitch, but she was able to hold back her outburst and smiled at the elderly woman. "Hello there, ma'am. I don't think who've met before," she said with fake innocence. "I'm—"
"Oh, I know who you are Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest," Veronica stated, looking up from her knitting project, and staring at Pacifica with a blank expression. "I know a lot about you. About your family and their past deeds. Many of them you probably don't even know about. I'm a historian after all, I seek the truth and know the truth. But also know that the people I work with are more powerful than you and your family could ever have dreamed of being. So, know this, take one step out of line with me, little girl, and you and your family's name will be dragged through the mud, before it's completely forgotten."
That not only shocked Stan, but scared Pacifica. She stared at Veronica with wide and frightened eyes, before backing away and running away.
"Damn," said Stan.
"I know. I wonder if I was too hard," Veronica said before thinking for a moment. She then chuckled and waved it off. "Ah, I don't care! Bahahaha!"
Stan was instantly reminded on how scary she could be.
"So, what now?" Patrick asked. After easily outrunning Blubs and Durland, he, Dipper, and Mabel were in the cemetery. Upon entering, Mabel took them to the statue, which turned out to be where she met "Norman", the same ex-boyfriend she had that turned out to be a bunch of gnomes.
Dipper looked at the statue's left hand, as it pointed off in the distance. "Ah...The statue must be pointing to the next clue," he said, before turning and looked in direction statue was pointing.
Patrick turned to Mabel. Maybe she knew what it was pointing to. "What do you think—oh for the love of…"
Turned out that Mabel was on the statue and having the finger sticking into her nose. "Oh, gross! She's picking my nose! Ha ha!" Mabel stopped laughing when the tip of the statue's finger bends upward. "Ach."
However, this caused the stone grave seal to pull back and open up. Patrick and Dipper looked in amazement as it revealed a secret passageway that led down below into the underground. "Mabel, look!" Dipper said, pointing down into the hole.
"Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam!" Mabel bragged and punched her fist into her palm. She then tried to jump down from the statue, winched in pain as her nose still had the finger in it, which tugged on her. "Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow."
Patrick came over, grabbed her, and lifted her off of the finger and placed her on the ground. "Okay, let's go," he told them, before pulling out a flashlight and his crowbar. Patrick was the first to go down into the strange and mysterious tunnel. But he went first just so that he'd know what was going to happen and that his cousins were right behind him. "Stay close, you two. It could be dangerous."
"Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode," Mabel said with determination. "I feel so serious." She then pulled out a piece of candy and ate it. Throwing away the wrapper.
They reached the bottom of the stairs and started walking down a tunnel. "Okay, look out for booby traps," Dipper told them.
"Ha! Booby traps." Mabel laughed at the joke.
However, she wasn't watching where she was going, and stepped on a tile that was sticking out of the floor. Their hearts almost jumped into their mouths as that triggered some noises that came from the side rock walls.
Patrick's crowbar was then suddenly hit by a dart. Freaked out, he looked towards the left wall, as a bunch of darts came shooting out towards him and the twins.
"Get down!" He yelled, pushing the twins down, just before some could hit them in the head. Patrick then grabbed his family and started running towards the end. Maneuvering past the darts coming at them. Miraculously, he was able to dodge all the darts and keep them from hitting his cousins.
But then he tripped over a rock, and fell down into a slid-like tunnel. They screamed as they ride down the path, before Patrick stopped after breaking through a large spider web. The twins crashed behind him, and they groaned for a moment.
Patrick rubbed his head in pain for a moment, before standing up and shining the flashlight at where they were. He gasped when he saw that the path led them to a small chamber that was filled with many relics and historical items.
The twins were also amazed as they walked into the towards the items. Patrick walked over to a saber that was tucked away in its sheath. He picked it up and pulled it out, amazed that it looked brand new. "What is this place," he asked.
Mabel walked over to a small table that had a film projector and some documents. "It's a treasure trove of historic-y, secret-y things," she said, picking up the documents.
The first page was about the secret of Abraham Lincoln's hat. There were two pictures; one showed Lincoln with his top hat on, and the other of him without his top hat. In the last picture there was a hand sticking out of the top of his head.
Mabel looked at the next page, and she saw Benjamin Franklin wearing earrings, and the sub-caption says that he was secretly a woman.
"Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman!" Mabel said.
"Hey, jackpot!" Dipper said, shining his light onto a document that was titled 'The Northwest Cover-up'. He approached the pedestal and picked it up. "Now we'll find out who the real town founder was." Dipper opened and started reading from the document: "'Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud...as well as a waste-shoveling village idiot?'"
After seeing the image of Nathaniel as the idiot caused Patrick to laugh out loud. "Oh, man! That's rich, I tell'ya! Oh, wait'll the town hear about this!"
Mabel then got excited, believing that this is what she's been looking for. "Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly!"
Once he calmed down, Patrick looked at Dipper after laughing. "So, who's the guy they tried to cover up?"
Dipper shined the light back to the document and started reading it again. "'The true founder of Gravity Falls was sir lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire.'"
Patrick raised an eyebrow. "Who the hell is he?"
Suddenly a light turned on and shined on them from behind, making them turn around to see that standing there was Blubs and Durland. "That's none of your business!" proclaimed the black cop.
The kids gasped. Then Patrick pulled out the saber.
Blubs then surprised them when he pulled out a pistol.
The sight of the gun made Patrick drop the sword and put his hands up. "Wait, since when did you two carry guns," he asked.
"Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo!" Shouted Durland, ringing his bell. But then he stopped, as he started to get weak. Barely looking like he wasn't going to stay standing for long. "Whoo! Hmm whoo-hoo." The idiotic cop then fell on his face and passed out. They all then saw that several tranquilizer darts were sticking out of his back and head.
"He got hit with quite a few of those darts," Blubs said, before aiming his gun at the kids.
This prompted Patrick to place himself in front of the twins. "Whoa! What are you doing!"
"I hate to do this, Pines, but Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security," Blubs told him. "Now hand over the file, and no one will get hurt. Trust me, I really don't want to do this."
"Yeah! Ye—ah." Durland shot up to his feet, before nearly losing balance. He stabilized himself by putting his hands on his knees. "Woo. I think I might be colorblind now."
Patrick nodded nervously. He grabbed the document from Dipper and handed it to Blubs. "Wait, this doesn't make any sense," he told the cops. "What do you mean, 'national security?' Why is this guy such a big deal?"
"And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway," Mabel asked, hiding behind Patrick with her brother.
"See for yourself." With the gun in one hand, Blubs removed his hat with the other. Placing it on the table with the projector. The fat man then reached in and took out a reel of film, which also had some dust coming off it.
He put it into the projector and turned it on. Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel turned towards the screen as the film started. Starting with a countdown in black and white.
"Aww, it's black and white?!" Mabel complained.
"Shh! Mabel." Dipper scolded her, before the reel started.
The first thing to be revealed was a government seal. It then showed a government official in an office, looking at the audience as he started speaking. "If you're watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete." He stopped for a moment, before looking to someone offscreen. "—What? No? Ho! Well, that's a relief!" The official looked back at the camera and continued. "Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."
The screen showed Trembly. A man with a very tall, thin head, with a long, pointed nose, and a relatively simple haircut; his sideburns flowed into his very distinct almost mutton chop-like facial hair. An extremely small pair of spectacles rested atop his nose, although he may not need them to see, as they didn't seem to cover his eyes.
"President?" Mabel and Dipper asked together.
"Eight-and-a-half?" Patrick raised an eyebrow.
"After winning the 1837 election in a landslide…" Turned out that wasn't a metaphor, as the video showed a picture of Trembley standing next to the other presidential candidates. Then suddenly a landslide killed the other candidates and the audience. Leaving Trembley the only man standing. "Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president."
"He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the supreme court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse."
Trembley (reenacted recording):"The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!"
"He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed."
"Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown."
And that's where the film ended. "Oh my god, it makes sense," Patrick said, slapping himself in the head with all the information that was given to him finally adding up. No wonder everyone in this town was crazy and stupid! With the exception of a few like Wendy. "So, what happened to Trembley after he founded Gravity Falls?"
"Take a look," Blubs said, pointing to some with his gun. The kids gasped when they saw the Trembley standing behind them. However, he was encased in an amber-colored rectangle made from amber. The best way that Patrick could think of it was if he thought about Jurassic Park.
"Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something," Dipper asked after approaching the rectangle and rubbing his finger down on it.
"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle," Blubs told the three Pines members. "Smooth move, Mr. President! Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete."
"Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's trail of candy wrappers?" Durland said, holding up one of Mabel's candy wrappers. Patrick and Dipper instantly glared at Mabel, as she knew she messed up really bad.
"Ugh, silly!" Mabel face-palmed herself.
"Yes, Mabel is very stupid," Patrick said, before grinning nervously at the cops. "So, are we free to go?"
"I'm sorry, young man," Blubs declared. "Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talkin' about it."
The scared Patrick enough to pull out his crowbar and get in front of Dipper and Mabel, as the twins cowered behind him. Fearing for their lives by hugging each other. "Whoa, wait! Please! You're not really going to kill us, are you?!" Patrick exclaimed.
"ARE YOU!?" Durland shouted, freaking out too for some reason.
"No, no." Blubs told the kids, before turning to Durland and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down now, buddy, calm down." He then turned back to the kids. "We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain't comin' back, by the way."
Dipper shared a frightened glance with his twin, before looking up at Patrick and asking, "What are we going to do?" Patrick didn't answer. What could he even do? He'd be shot before he could charge at Blubs. They were beaten.
"Well, time to do this the hard way," Blubs said, and pulled the trigger.
"NO!" Dipper and Mabel screamed, breaking out into tears. However, there was now loud gunshot, and Patrick closed his eyes, but wasn't hit with a bullet. Instead, he was hit in the chest by some kind of paintball. Patrick looked confused at the orange paint shot on his T-shirt and pulled it up to sniff at it.
One sniff, and it was lights out for Patrick. With the last thing he heard was Blubs saying, "Probably should have told him it wasn't real."
When Patrick came to, he awoke with a groan and headache. Something wasn't right. Everything was moving and shaking, and there were the sounds of a train's whistle and wheels as it ran down the tracks. Patrick groaned as he sat up.
"PATRICK!" Dipper and Mabel screamed before tackling him to the ground. Sobbing a little.
Further confused, Patrick pushed the tearful twins off of himself and sat up again. Then, Patrick looked around and saw that they were in some kind of crate, with Quentin Trembley's body. "What happened," he asked with a groan.
Dipper and Mabel tried to clean their faces with their arms and shirt. "Blubs shot you with some kind of knockout paint, then forced us into this crate. They're taking us to the airport," Dipper explained. Then his expression turned sad. "We didn't think you'd ever wake up."
"…oh." Jesus, he must have really scared them.
"Oh. This is all my fault." Mabel said miserably, sitting down and leaning against the crate beside Trembley. "I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name." She then broke off a piece of the peanut brittle and ate it.
"Come on, Mabel. You're not a-what's going on!?" Patrick exclaimed as he saw that after Mabel broke off the piece, the whole encasing started to crack. He stood up and the kids ran behind him, as the brittle crumbled away.
The twins and Patrick screamed.
"It is I, Quentin Trembley," proclaimed the eight-and-a-half President of the United State, before ripping his pants right off.
Everyone paused for a short moment to take in what just happened. "What the fuck…" Patrick said, but stopped when he was unable to continue.
"You're alive!" Dipper exclaimed in amazement. "But how?"
"Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties!" Mabel stated in wonder. "You're not silly, you're brilliant!"
"And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!" said Trembley, praising the young girl.
Patrick turned and kneeled down, before placing his hands-on Mabel. "He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down; Your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!"
Mabel modestly waved him off. "Oh, stop it."
"By Jefferson!" exclaimed Trembley, before squinting his eyes. "We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box."
"Yeah, it's called a crate," Patrick said, deadpanning.
"Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America!" Trembley said, pulling out the very key. The three Pines watched as the ex-President walked over to the wall of the crate. Just when it looked like there was going to be hope for them, Trembley dashed it all always when he started repeatedly slamming the key at the side of the crate. As if expecting it to actually work against the wood.
"I... don't think that's gonna work," Dipper said.
"Wood! My age-old enemy." Trembley then turned to the kids. "In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."
"Well, I don't know about us, but I think I know who can help you," Patrick said, smiling at Mabel. Mabel got the memo and started to think about a way out.
"How 'bout... that hole?" Mabel pointed at a tiny hole that was near the corner of the crate.
"We will leap through it!" Trembley proclaimed, before the two jumped at the hole. Patrick and Dipper could only watch as Mabel poked her finger through the hole and moving it around. Trying to push it through. "Almost. Almost there Good! Keep pushing."
"You…can't be serious about this." Patrick deadpanned.
"Trust... the silliness!" Mabel shouted.
"Fiddlesticks! Keep going!" Trembley encouraged. Meanwhile, outside the crate, a woodpecker had somehow managed to get into the train. Seeing Mabel's finger as she pulled it back in, the bird though it was a worm or a bug of some kind, and started pecking at the crate. Mabel and Trembley stopped trying to fit into the hole when the woodpecker's pecking made a tapping noise. "Is that my third wife? Sandy?"
Patrick face-palmed. Oh god, he's the one that made that a law.
The woodpecker stopped and flew away when the plank of wood with the hole fell off. Then suddenly and without warning, the whole box fell apart. "Well, we didn't fit through the hole," said Trembley. "Let's rebuild the box and try again!"
Dipper collected the secret documents and Patrick grabbed his crowbar. "We gotta get out of here!" The teenager said to the man with urgency. He and the twins then ran for the door.
"Also good!"
Trembley caught up to them as Patrick opened the door in the train. In the other car, Durland was happily getting some ice. He was just about to go to where he and Blubs were staying in, but then saw the four escapees and dropped the bucket of ice.
"Blubs!" He yelled, with the sheriff poking his head out from the room.
Dipper, Mabel, and Trembley looked with expressions of panic, as Patrick slammed the door shut. The four of them then turned and ran away. When they reached the other end of the car that they were held in, they gasped. There was no other train car behind theirs.
Patrick looked up and pointed to an emergency escape that opened in the ceiling.
Climbing up the ladder, Trembley pulled out his key and started pressing it against the door, even though there's no lock.
The other door opened by Blubs and Durland. Seeing them, Patrick quickly climbed the ladder and snatched the key from Trembley. "Give me that!" He then grabbed and turned the handle.
Opening the door, he was the first to rush out, with Mabel and Dipper coming after, then Trembley exited. All of them ran up the roof of the train. Followed by Blubs and Durland, who were in pursuit.
Patrick stopped and looked back to see Blubs getting ready to shoot at them with his knockout gun. So, he took off his sweater and ran towards them. As Blubs started shooting at him, Patrick used his sweater as a shield. Taking each knockout paint shot.
As he was close to them and Blubs ran out of paint, Patrick threw his sweater aside and swung the crowbar at the gun. Breaking it on impact. Blubs and Durland looked shocked at what he just did, before Patrick punched the black cop in the face. Knocking him back into his partner.
Patrick then turned and ran down the roof. He made it to where Mabel, Dipper, and Trembley were stopped at—the end of the car. Patrick was about to ask what they were doing, before seeing that the car in front of them was a log-carrying car.
They turned around to see Blubs and Durland running towards them, before stopping. "There…is…no…escape!" Blubs exclaimed with broken sunglasses, huffing and puffing after that chase. And also because he was really out of shape. The sheriff fell to one knee. "I gotta take a knee."
Durland went over and placed his hands on his partner's shoulders. "Are you okay? Can I get you anything," he asked gently.
"Edwin, darlin', you are a diamond in the rough," Blubs said with a smile.
At this point, Patrick was more than certain that they were gay. "Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?" Dipper exclaimed to the cops, trying to reason with them.
"I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!" Blubs exclaimed.
Patrick took a moment to think. How were they going to get out of this? He could attack and knock them. But he was probably already in trouble with punching Blubs in the face. There orders came from the top of the government, so even if they escape, then they'll likely send someone worse. Like the FBI or CIA.
Then it hit him. That's it! "Wait!" Patrick yelled at the cops, before turning to Trembley. "Yo, President idiot, did you ever sign an official resignation?"
"No, sir," replied Trembley. "I ate a salamander and jumped out the window."
Patrick was a little weirded out by that. "Oh! Okay? But, technically you're still legally the President of the United States, right?" Patrick then turned to Blubs and Durland. "You've gotta answer to this guy now!"
"Huh?" Blubs and Durland looked at each other in confusion.
Dipper, Mabel, and Patrick stepped aside to let Trembley make his orders. "As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And- and go on a delightful vacation. Ow!" He was suddenly hit in the back of the head by a passing metal rail. Trembley however, bounced back to his normal self. "Mmm yeeees!"
"Vacation?" Blubs liked the sound of that and turned to Durland. "What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two—"
"Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!" Blubs and Durland shouted with excitement and joy, before giggling.
A few moments later, after getting the train to stop, Patrick, the twins, and Trembley got off the train and were waving goodbye to Durland and Blubs. The two cops waved back to them from outside an open window, wearing Hawaiian shirts, as the train departed.
Once the train was long gone, Trembley got down on one knee and placed a hand on Mabel's shoulder. "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman," Trembley declared, pulling out and unfolding a black top-hat.
Mabel grinned with glee, as he placed the hat on her head. "I'm legalizing everything!" she exclaimed.
Trembley then turned to Dipper. "And Roderick…"
"Uh- actually- uh-"
Dipper was interrupted by the President. "You dear boy are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So, I'd like you to have my President's Key!" He pulled out the key and gave it to him.
Later on, after a long walk, Patrick, Trembley, and the twins were finally walking back into Gravity Falls. Along the way, Trembley was telling a story that was actually kind of funny. "And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk."
"A-greed!" Mabel said.
They all stopped, however, when they saw the one person that was their main reason for doing all of this. A few feet away, Pacifica and her friends were watching some girls run around a small maypole. One of the girls nearly tripped, but saved herself from falling to the ground.
Pacifica, however, wasn't having it. "Kick her off the team," she ordered her friends.
As her goons walked away to do as she said, Mabel, Dipper, and Patrick approached Pacifica. "Hey, Pacifica!" exclaimed Mabel, much to the blonde's annoyance. "I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Who's silly now?"
However, Pacifica's attention was caught by something else. "What? Who is that idiot?" She pointed to Trembley, who had his fists up and was chasing after a bald eagle.
"Put up your dukes, you bald fiend!" He challenged it.
"The eighth-and-a-half president of America," Mabel told her. "How is he still alive? Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it—"
Pacifica stopped her by bursting out into laughter and placing a hand on Mabel's. "Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way."
Her parents, Preston and Priscilla Northwest, laugh mockingly with her. "Good one, daughter," said the father.
"Ooh! I see your car is stuck in the mud," Pacifica said mockingly at the Pines kids. Patrick was really wanting to start hitting the girl with his crowbar. "Enjoy walking home!"
Then a sedan pulled up beside her parents. As they got in, Pacifica walked over to join them, ready to get out of the town and back to her perfect little life.
As she walked away, Dipper held up the documents and said to Mabel, "Aren't you gonna tell her about her ate-gray ampa-gray?"
"You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove," Mabel said with a confident smile. "I've learned to see silly as awesome!" She ended it with putting back on her sweater.
Patrick looked impressed at her. "Wow, Mabel. That was the most mature thing I've ever heard you say," he said with an approving smile.
"Well, I haven't learned anything!" Dipper declared, before whistling to the Northwest sedan as it pasted by. "Hey, Pacifica!" He ran over to the car as it came to a stop. Pacifica then turned to her half open window as Dipper stopped and showed her the documents on the Northwest cover-up "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Suck it!"
Dipper handed Pacifica the documents through the window. When she looked at the papers, the car started to drive away, as Pacifica looked out the back window, shocked. "What?! Moooom!"
Now he was back at Mabel and Patrick's side. "Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome!" Dipper said with a smile.
Trembley then came over to them and placed a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here..." the President pointed to Patrick's chest. He then opened his closed fist to reveal a bill. On the negative twelve-dollar bill," he finished and handed Patrick the bill.
Patrick examined the bill in amazement. "Whoa. This is worthless."
"It's less than worthless, my boy. Trembley away!" And so, Trembley jumped backwards and landed perfectly onto a horse. This startled the horse, and Trembley rode the saddle backward. Riding away off and away from Gravity Falls.
"Where do you think he's going," Mabel asked.
Dipper replied, "I'm gonna say... off a cliff."
"I'd bet on that," Patrick said, not noticing that Veronica had walked up behind them.
She startled them by saying, "Well, it looks like you kids have been busy."
Joy filled Patrick's heart as he saw her. "Grandma!" He exclaimed and gave her a big hug. That's right, this was his grandmother and the cousin of Stan, Veronica Pines.
"Graunt Veronica!" the twins also cheerfully shouted as they tackled the elderly woman with hugs. Just like Stan, they used a special name for their great aunt, which they call their 'Graunt.'
Veronica laughed as she was hugged by her grandson, nephew and niece. "Oh hohoho! How are my favorite grandkids," she asked with a big smile, as the three pulled away from. She wanted to know everything about their summer so far. But then her phone started to ring, and she looked at it. Seeing who it was, she sighed sadly and turned to the children. "Why don't we talk about this at dinner. I've got to take this. You'll find Stan over there."
Patrick looked and saw where Stan was still in the stock and nodded. "Okay, grandma. Come on, let's go get Stan out of there," he told the twins and they ran over to help him out.
When they were far enough away, Veronica dashed away from the open area. She ran past some people with a determined scowl on her face. Veronica stopped and turned into an alleyway, where a white SUV was parked. She approached it and opened the sliding door. Inside was a single man and a lot of computers, radio systems, and radar.
"Okay, could someone please explain to me how the fuck Trembley is out and running about!?" She demanded, startling the man.
"I'm not sure, ma'am," the man said, trying to keep his nerves. "I called Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland and demanded to know the same thing. They said that those kids got out and Trembley told them to, uh, take a vacation."
Veronica wanted to face-palm in frustration. "He's been out of office for like a hundred years. He can't just give orders anymore!" She put her hands together and started taking in deep breaths. It was her fault. She did what she could to get the dumbest and most oblivious pair of idiots into the town's police force, and it's all come back to bite her. Again!
"I've just gotten word from the Northwest, also," said the man, as Veronica sat down and drank from a cup of coffee. "They want us to do something to cover-up the secret once it's published."
Veronica sighed. "Tell them to do it themselves. We're a special secret agency created to keep the forces of this town from reaching the eyes and ears of the world. Not their babysitters."
"And what about the kids?" The man pointed to a screen that showed them talking with Stan. Veronica looked sadly at it. It pained her to have to do this to this. To spy and monitor their every movement, but when Dipper and Patrick picked up the journal from the forest, she was called to Gravity Falls immediately. She loved her family, and didn't what them to get dragged into the violent world that was this town. "I understand that they're your grandkids, but they know the truth."
"Trembley is something the nation can handle outside of the town. As long as he jumps off a cliff. As for the kids…" She looked somberly at Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel. "Let them be…for now."
AN: And that wrapped up chapter 8 and now the plot thickens with the introduction of Patrick's grandmother, Veronica Pines.
First off, I just like to give you all a big THANK YOU to everyone! "Weirder Things" has now reached into the 100s for Favorites, Followers, and Reviews. I'm so happy to get back to work on "Weirder Things" I'm sorry it took so long but I'm back at this series!
Secondly, I'd like to apologize to everyone for being so late to update this story. I've been updating other stories. I've really been trying to get my Steven Universe story "Gem of War" more chapters and move it out of the show's boring beginnings and into more exciting timelines. And then I've been working on "Heroes of Tomorrow," as it's now become my second most popular story.
So, I'm going to make it up to all of you by updating this story all the way up to Summerween.
Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things " will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and if you want me to keep writing this story, then please leave a REVIEW. I would really appreciate it if you do. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please PM me or write it out in the review.
Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and if I'm not able to get the next chapter out by then, have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!